things my classics teacher has said
he teaches the odyssey and he really loves it, even though most of my class don’t, and he says some of the strangest things when we are reading it aloud:
- this next line is so dramatic i think im going to have to stand up for this bit
- well you all have ruined it im sitting down again
- “..and mr s stands with them too, and it looks awesome”
- (laughing to himself) oh what idiots these men are!
- me: why does it have female pronouns? isn’t it just a hole?
mr s: yes, but its a female hole. (silence) oh I’m so sorry. please lets move on and forget i ever said that (our class is exclusively female)
- no, not one cow with a machine gun against a hundred men. that would be pretty awesome though
- i’m going to stop talking about nipples now
- this is where she just decks him
- he’s a really old boy
- it just makes you sick doesn’t it
- what do you mean you don’t like odysseus get out
- you know i’m going to stand up for him. i love him.
- mr s: don’t forget to update your divine intervention log. your d.i.g. if you will.
a student: sir, that would be d.i.l.
mr s: … well, i feel foolish
- don’t worry it won’t take me long to bounce back
- a student: i just can’t like odysseus
mr s: (mortified noise)
- when I was younger I wanted to be a pirate… I still do to be honest