i have to get comfortable showing people my shit

But listen..,Dan motherfucking Wilds is savage oh my god
• her first year as captain she’s so nervous
• she’s the first female captain
• she’s captaining the foxes
• this is her one shot to make it out and she can’t screw it up
• she’s absolutely terrified and refuses to show it
• as she slowly gets more comfortable with her captaincy she starts to call people on their shit
• she absolutely nails Kevin at one point oh man
• Andrew is too busy trying to hide his smirk to react, so he just feigns disinterest in what she’s saying
• “Kevin, you may be one of the best players out there, but I’m the captain so you play by my rules on this court. And may I remind you, you have the number two tattooed on your face, and number two is coincidentally a very great way to describe your personality right now.”
• omg dan is a savage
• she just kicked Kevin’s ego into another galaxy
• she immediately worries it’s too far once she says it but Kevin does shut up and respect her more after that
• he can appreciate a strong woman and also he’s a little scared of her
• and thus dan adds another tool to her captaining tool box
• just straight up roast people and maybe they’ll listen, especially if it’s almost too close to home
• I mean, it’s how she and Allison formed their relationship don’t lie to yourself
• their roast sessions are epic and a story for another time

Introducing The Noodles

Chapter technically 7 of my poly!hanzo and jesse fic. Stand alone chapters. You don’t need to read the others to enjoy this one imo. It’s fluff, no warnings. 

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10464945/chapters/23091327

Fic Summary: You meet the noodle dragons for the first time! A little over 1K


Taking a shower is one of the favorite parts of your day. You’ve got your favorite shower music playing, with your eyes closed, while you sing along to the tune. Badly. Washing your body with a loofah. Completely zoned out, and unaware of the visitors who are making their way into the bathroom. The shower curtain rustles as they poke their heads underneath it. They hook onto the tubs edge and hone in on the brightly colored loofah you are using. They would very much like to have this brightly-colored thing and are going to take it.

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“(shipname) is dead” is honestly the opposite of a reasonable response to anything like this cos i) imo it would take a LOT to completely rule out any scenario where two characters could reconcile in this show ii) even if that doesnt end up happening people are going to enjoy imagining it anyway and you cant actually stop them 

im not super big into lapidot but if i was i would be having the time of my life imagining hurt comfort scenarios and later reunions and shit? thinking about how fucked up it must have lapis, who already had huge issues about not wanting to have control because of what she did to jasper, to find out that she’d been taking advantage of someone she loved, too, without realising it? thinking about peridot getting the chance to learn to stand up for herself better and wanting to try to build a better relationship with lapis? showin her all the stuff she’s grown and discovered while she was gone? long ass fic about peridot going to find her? cmon this kind of thing is literally what fandom and shipping are for

TV shows for your functions: Sitcoms!

Disclaimer again:if a show you love isn’t here, it’s probably because while I watch a large amount of TV I don’t watch all the TV ever. I know I say shit like that a lot but I spent most of my formative years on indie music sites and people would have comments like “HOW DARE YOU FORGET THE BAND THAT CHANGED MY LIFE” and the author would be like “idk make your own list?”

ANYWAY. I do in fact watch a lot of sitcoms because they’re comforting and short, so you get 2 for the price of 1 (the price of 1 is 0).

Si - The Office (US) and Parks and Rec

Oh look, sitcoms about work. The thing is, The Office, in the early seasons, was absolutely beautiful in its depiction of finding the joy in routine. I know Jim’s an Ne user, but he had his own routine of messing with routine in a way. Damn, I should rewatch the first couple seasons.

Meanwhile Parks and Rec is perhaps my favorite sitcom and it’s definitely what I put on if I’m sick or stressed and need to take my mind off things. It’s just so community, tradition and history focused, and is one of the most SJ-heavy shows in terms of characters - and those characters are never boring.

Ni - You’re the Worst, How I Met Your Mother

I love You’re the Worst, and I’ve been informed that Ni-doms tend to like their humor kind of dark, so there you go. Plus I’m pretty sure Gretchen’s an ESTP and Jimmy’s an INTJ (both horrifically unhealthy) so you can see Ni at work. It also has a strong vibe of “I had an idea of what my future would be and this isn’t it.”

HIMYM was divisive in many ways, and personally while I liked some aspects of the final season it strikes me as the kind of shit you do when your initial grand plan has been invalidated by a lot of renewals. However, it was very much about Ted and this highly specific vision.

Se - Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Archer

I’m going to talk about these both together! TWIST. So both are highly action-oriented, but also I feel they share a certain impulsiveness in their characters, and a willingness to shake things up. Archer in particularly is willing to basically flip off the status quo on the regular. They’re also both often more visually interesting. I watch a fuck-ton of superhero TV and it can get highly visually repetitive, so I notice this. The great thing about cop shows is that they are work sitcoms (which obviously I like) but they frequently take their characters out of the office.

Ne - Scrubs, Community

Scrubs was not the first show to have those weird frequent daydream bits, but I feel those are perhaps one of the purest depictions of Ne on TV. Before Parks and Rec, Scrubs was my Parks and Rec in part because it fit that Si-Ne axis “weird, but has a formula” need. See: the summaries at the end of each episode drawing all the disparate storylines together. Also I know two Ne-doms who are residents or med students; most of the physicians I personally know are perceivers which explains a lot actually.

Community: also weird. Willing to draw inspiration from anywhere and everywhere. Willing to explore and defy conventions all the time. Remedial Chaos Theory and the multiple examples of songs being mashed together (the first season Somewhere Out There thing, the second season Kissed by a Rose thing) also make me think very much of Ne.

Fi -  Broad City, Grace and Frankie

Both shows spotlight a female friendship and use the contrast between the two characters to comedic effect, but they also both stress individuality and finding your own path, especially in a harsh environment (often metaphorically; I would probably do terrible things to obtain Grace and Frankie’s beach house). I also think both these shows do a pretty good job of exploring the concept of selfishness vs. putting one’s needs over societal expectations or the needs of others; Fi can be seen as selfish (and can be used by unhealthy or immature individuals as a justification for selfish behavior) and while I wouldn’t exactly put these characters as role models, it’s a worthwhile theme to explore.

Ti - Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, The IT Crowd

I’m undecided on Kimmy’s type but I’m pretty sure she’s an Fe user, and I see a lot of Ti in how all the characters behave - they mostly act on what makes sense to them, rather than some kind of outside standard, which often means they’re in between several different systems of logic.

The IT Crowd definitely skews a lot more towards stereotypes of Ti doms (tech nerds who hate everyone), but also that company seems to be run by some people who, if they’re using logic, its not the kind of logic anyone else is privy to.

Fe - Arrested Development, New Girl

Arrested Development for the toxic Fe, New Girl for a much more healthy form. Arrested Development was hard to group and I leaned towards Se for a while, just because it was so spontaneous, good at taking a topical joke and running with it, and because there are so many bonuses for observant watchers, but I decided to go with the Fe for manipulation and for the many forms of familial and societal obligation explored.

New Girl on the other hand is much more of a “family you create” kind of hangout sitcom. Jess and Schmidt both show a hell of a lot of Fe in their tendencies to meddle and their desire for approval, but they do so out of love and wanting to make everyone happy, rather than manipulation.

Te - 30 Rock, FOTB

These two get it for two characters, primarily: Jack and Jessica. Also, 30 Rock is probably the most work and more importantly, achievement-centric of all these shows. The IT Crowd and The Office are often more about the goofing off that occurs in a desk job; Scrubs and Parks and Rec are about the communities you build with your coworkers. But 30 Rock, while it had a solid bond between Liz and Jack, was always about work and getting ahead and reaching goals.

Meanwhile Fresh Off the Boat’s breakout star is Jessica, an ESTJ if there ever was one, and a fantastic portrayal of one too. She’s definitely tough, but she also wants her sons to have comfortable lives and to be unafraid to be themselves. Most of her plotlines have her being a bit of a steamroller (which I associate with the extroverted judging functions, plus some Se users) but one who knows her goals and is willing to put in the hard work.

HONORABLE MENTIONS GO TO: Flight of the Conchords (Ne perhaps?), Party Down (strikes me as a series-long Ni grip tbh), Happy Endings (probably Fe; it was definitely its own show but it had a similar structure to New Girl), and Difficult People (super toxic Fi).

Why I Reject The Idea Of Casual Hookups

Call it laziness or anxiety or being an introvert, but I came to the conclusion that drinking a lot of alcohol and staying up till the wee hours of the morning trying to get laid doesn’t exactly fit my vibe.

I’d much rather be comfortable in my bed drifting slowly to sleep to the sound of some slow indie song, or watching one of my favorite TV shows.

Getting your rocks off with someone you don’t want to see in the morning also seems particularly rude to me. It’s a waste of time and it shows that you don’t have much respect for your partner, let alone yourself.

And don’t get me started on double standards and slut-shaming because I don’t do that shit, if you wanna have sex with a lot of people go do it, I won’t think any differently of you.

I just personally want my hookups to be good and it don’t seem like they’d be very fun without a bit of laughter and the warmth of being comfortable with somebody.

tv show: shows a healthy, platonic, comfortable, safe and healthy m/f friendship in which they talk shit out and no one gets hurt

me: … uh…. I don’t trust this ….. where’s the love triangle some ugly shit is gonna happen

I hate that I am watching the Bachelor because Ben is like the most basic white guy ever but...

He went on a one-on-one date with the only black girl on the show, Jubilee, and I was like “okay this might be interesting…” And she was quite ecstatic (even tho Ben was late). And then when Ben came with a helicopter to whisk them away, Jubilee was anxious. She said she was in the military, but still myself included, I don’t know many people who all that comfortable with helicopters (but I wasn’t in the military).

So as she and Ben were getting on, Jubilee makes a joke like “Omg, does someone else wanna go on my date?” which of course was to ease the tension. But literally all the other white girls on the show took that shit seriously, like they are being paid to have sticks up their asses for fake TV. They all started getting mad at Jubilee as if she is being flippant, when really she was just nervous. Anyway Jubilee and Ben had a good date, the helicopter wasn’t bad, they had caviar, and Jubilee let her guard down and was genuine which Ben enjoyed (apparently all the other girls are hella fake in front of Ben).

So back at the house the white girls are fuming when they find out that Jubilee is still there (duh) and that she got a rose (by being a real human being with flaws). Then at the night of the rose ceremony, all of the girls are playing victim as if Jubilee did something to them (because of an offhand joke?!) and one of the girls tries to rally the others to confront Jubilee (like you can’t be the white girl gathering up other girls to attack the black girl).

Like I was so mad at these white girls bc like just before the rose ceremony, friends of Ben’s family passed and rather than be respectful and manage their drama in that context, they just made it about themselves and how Jubilee disrespected “the process” (like none of y'all are marrying Ben, no Bachelor romance lasts after the final rose!). Jubilee was smart to go upstairs and remove herself from the situation, and Ben finds her to go figure out what’s wrong and to comfort her. And the instigator of the confrontation follows and makes herself look hella bad in front of Ben(!)

Sadly, the instigator didn’t go home but she was close, and hopefully Jubilee will be around longer than all of these other basics. I like Jubilee, and she may be why I watch this season. The Bachelor is of course hella trash (a sexist premise and a cornucopia of white mediocrity) but I always fear for the black/PoC girl in the show because either she is kicked out first night, kept on for “diversity” for a couple more roses, or pushed out by the white girl drama. I want Jubilee to make it at least to the point that she can be the next (and first black) Bachelorette.

2

I am sad to lose one of the most beautiful top models from my country because of these ignorant people in fashion who forgot what a fashion show consist of. We need variety in the runways and magazines because this shit is getting boring!!!They are breaking our backs with these racist shit! We came to the west to find peace and stability instead it’s been unbearable to just exist. Can we just be beautiful and have you accept that and be comfortable with that!!! We sure as hell don’t treat you this way when you come to Africa!! We black models have to stand together and support each other without fear of losing your job or being label as the big mouth angry black person, or lose the white privileges that you now think you have because we are all going through something but are not organized to speak in unison about these nonsense!!Kisses and smiles don’t mean anything, modeling is a job, a regular job! The only difference is the job requirements! This is an industry where we the blacks models are at the bottom levels as much as they shoot us everyday we will never reach the white models level. We are in a business were ignorants white people put themselves at the pedestal constantly because they think they are the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the most creative, the most heroic, the best at everything. We are the added on last minute options not a priority!! They have manage to destroy us and shred us to pieces with no one to speak us for us. This is fashion but it’s way deeper than just pretty girls walking down catwalks!!! This is extreme bullying!!! Illusions will get us nowhere! Stop hurting us in this way, God don’t like ugly!!!🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
@ajak_deng