i have to do the soccer

Crazy Cupcakes

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Sarah (their daughter)

Word Count: 1,092

Warnings: this is fluffy and super adorable

Summary: Jensen is filming and you’re at home with your daughter, missing him like crazy. Only you don’t know that he has a surprise for you. 

Author’s Note: This is for Sommer’s (@wayward-marvel-sommer1196) Favorite Things Challenge. I was given the prompt Laughing. No hate for Danneel, this is fiction so she simply doesn’t exist. If you want to be a Bean or a Queen, pop me an ask!

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Tags at the bottom

Originally posted by milanavsh

“Alright, babe, now that we got all of our ingredients, we’re able to start baking!” You said to your 10-year-old daughter, Sarah. She was having a party coming up and with the 20 students on her soccer team, it wasn’t going to be hard to bake 20 cupcakes. You were going to be doing most of the cooking anyways.

“I wish Daddy was here.” She said, taking the food out of the bags. You sighed and looked down at her, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah baby, me too. But he’ll be home soon. Just another month and he’ll be home for 3 months straight.” You missed Jensen, you wished he was here with you right now. Time have been hard lately with you losing your job and driving Sarah in between her soccer practice and driving her around to hang out with her friends.

Even though you could live off Jensen’s salary and be just fine, you wanted to be working, to busy yourself since Sarah wasn’t a baby anymore and wouldn’t be able to keep you busy like she did when she was younger.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You mentioned having a class of dr ocs, what are everyone's talents? And will you draw them all :0

These talents aren’t final (besides the charas I’ve already drawn) but here’s what I got:

Thief (Hikari, Protagonist)
Puppeteer (MARI)
Class Representative
Tap Dancer
Tutor
Waitress (Ibara)
Soccer Player
Model
Public Speaker (Keiji)
Graffiti Artist (Akio)
Cellist
Stenographer
Kickboxer
Skateboarder
Cadet
Tailor

I do want to make all of them! And then make them interact :3c

anonymous asked:

Hay it’s me soccer girl again and I was wondering if you can do Saeran,V,saeyoung,and zen and how they would they doen their day with mc for thanksgiving!!!

Since it’s today or tomorrow, depending on the timezone I do this first.

spoilers  707´s and Saeran´s parts


Zen

  • You brought the idea up, and since you seem so sad that you can’t spend thanksgiving with your family he wants to make sure that you have the best thanksgiving ever.
  • Zen wants to make a traditional Dinner, and then surprise you with it.
  • Sadly he underestimates how much work it actually is.
  • It was not that hard to find a frozen turkey and the right ingredients, but it´s a completely different story to actually cook it.
  • He really tries his best but when you arrive at his place, to have a movie night, the smoke is greeting you at the entrance.
  • You get greeted by Zen, who is a bit smokey in the face, but is still smiling like always.
  • You get a bit worried upon seeing him, he shyly admits that he had a small accident in the kitchen.
  • Zen is usually handling the kitchen quite well so you wonder what happened, and you also offer to help him right away.
  • Zen tells you the whole story and you just find it so sweet of him, even when you wonder how you two supposed to eat a whole turkey together.
  • He admits that was a bit too much, you are not mad of course he just cares so much about your happiness it´s just sweet.
  • You just order some pizza and enjoy the movies you brought, later he surprises you with some pie though.
  • That actually tastes really good.
  • Next thanksgiving you are going to do something together, cooking together is the best anyways.


707

  • Thanksgiving is nothing that he ever celebrated, but he really has so much to be thankful for and it’s a day that you always celebrate.
  • So he really wants to do something.
  • He wants not just to do it with you though, he wants his whole family to come together.
  • What means the RFA, Vanderwood and Saeran.
  • It takes some good planning from your end to get them all to be there that day, lucky your party planner experience comes in handy.
  • It will be a lot of work to cook for everyone, but somehow Saeyoung got Vanderwood and Saeran to help you cooking.
  • *He promises Vanderwood three months of working hard, and Saeran a half year supply of ice cream*
  • You actually manage to do it quite efficient, since Vanderwood just somehow can do everything and he manages to keep Saeyoung from screwing around.
  • Saeyoung gets to be in charge of the potatoes and cutting.
  • Saeran makes the pie * he just loves making sweets, so he is quite motivated*
  • You help with the turkey and Vanderwood makes everything else.
  • It comes out really great and everyone is really impressed.
  • It’s a really great Thanksgiving for everyone.
  • Next year Saeyoung really wants to do it again, he not gets anyone to disagree.
  • Even when they are pretty much out cold at this point.


V

  • He is all up to celebrate whatever you want, but he wants to keep it small.
  • He just really enjoys some quiet time with you.
  • So you decide to just make a small romantic dinner just for you two.
  • V has a lot of fun to help you cooking and decorating your home for the dinner.
  • It’s really romantic, you both really enjoy your time together.
  • V is truly thankful for you and he really loves celebrating this occasion with you.
  • After your meal you spend the rest of the day cuddling and talking about all kinds of things.


Saeran

  • At first he really hates the idea of Thanksgiving.
  • It’s just another day that he is forced to spend with his brother.
  • I mean you said it will be fun and apparently there will be pie.
  • He never had that before.
  • After some thought it sounds not that annoying, mainly because you seem to really want to do this.
  • It would just be annoying to make you upset, so he agrees.
  • You seem to beam with joy the whole time while cooking, so it was the right decision for sure.
  • He finds it not that annoying to cook with you.
  • Saeyoung seems less noisy today too, what is nice.
  • The dinner is way better than he thought and he really is grateful for everything he has.
  • Especially you, but also his brother.
  • After dinner he makes you watch horror movies, proclaiming that he can only take so much sappy family time.
  • Even when he mainly does it so you cuddle up to him, works everytime.


Take a look at my Masterlist my requests are open so drop by !

Okay, friends, let’s talk about going to protests and weaponizing our whiteness, if in fact we are white.

You know what the protesters who marched with Dr. King wore? Their best. Their clergy stoles, their suits. If you’re a doctor or a nurse? Wear your scrubs. If you’re a parent? Wear your PTA shirt if it’s too hot for a suit. If you’re a student? Dress like you’re going to go volunteer somewhere nice, or wear a t-shirt that proclaims you a member of your high school band, your drama group, your church youth group. Whatever it is, make sure it’s right there with your white face.

This is literally the tactic of the people who marched with King in the 60s, and we need to bring it back, and bring it back HARD.

I do this all the time when I go to marches. I wear my cutest, least-offensive geeky t-shirt, crocs and black pants, or I wear my t-shirt that mentions my kid’s school district, or now I’ll wear the pink t-shirt that says I’m part of the Sisterhood at my shul. If it’s cold enough, I wear a cardigan and jeans and sit my ass in my wheelchair. (I need to anyway.) I put signs on my wheelchair that say things like ‘I love my trans daughter’ and 'love for all trans children’ or something else that applies to the event. Dress like you are going to an interview if you can, or make yourself look like a parent going to pick up a gallon of milk at the corner store. Make yourself “respectable.” Use respectability politics and whiteness AS A WEAPON.

Fuck yes I will weaponize the fact that I look like a white soccer mom. And you should do this too if you can. Weaponize the fuck out of your whiteness. If you are disabled and comfortable with doing so, turn ableism on its head and weaponize it. Make it so that the cameras that WILL be pointed at you see your whiteness, see your status as a parent, see your status as a community member. See you in your wheelchair or with your cane. If you have privilege or a status that allows you to use it as a weapon or a shield, use it as a shield to defend others or a weapon to break through the bullshit.

2

camisado // panic! at the disco

A lady came into my store with her kid once and pulled this. I was really tired, having been in classes since 9 am (I was a junior in college) and was now doing a closing shift. I fumbled a bit while wrapping one of the rings she bought (like, these rings are $12 max, not anything fancy) but managed to catch it. I just brushed it off, saying “whoops, I’m so clumsy!” and kept wrapping her purchases. I guess she thought I wasn’t fast enough cause she turned to her maybe high school aged daughter and said:

“This is why you need to study more and get good grades. You don’t want to end up bagging jewelry at a store for the rest of your life.”

I was feeling plenty petty and really hate when people insinuate that because of what I do for a job, they are somehow superior?

“She’s right, you know. If I had studied harder, maybe I would have gotten a full scholarship instead of a ¾ scholarship to [insert name of prestigious private university in our state]. And it is really hard to make the dean’s list every semester while working two jobs since I have to support myself. I mean I’m financially independent and will be the first in my family to go earn a degree, but since I’m also a part time cashier, I guess I can’t have achieved as much as I thought. So yeah, you can do loads better than me,” I said this as I finished wrapping and ringing them out. I even circled my name on the receipt and told her to take the survey (no fucks given). And the look on this white soccer mom’s face… priceless. I smiled and locked the door behind them as the mom just sputtered under her breath as she left. I’m just glad that whatever “lesson” she was trying to teach her child by putting down other people was rendered worthless.

Basically, don’t make assumptions about retail workers. We’re not stupid and even if we were, it doesn’t mean you are allowed to treat us like you are better than us. Like, fuck you. You know nothing about that person and don’t teach your kids to treat people like shit because they are “better” than them somehow?  

Modern Day Hogwarts!AU

Originally posted by rose-wexsley

  • Oh my GOD being a Witch/Wizard in the 2010-2017 era would be so much fucking fun I swear I’ve never wanted to be a modern witch more than I do now
  •  Imagine every Friday night to celebrate the weekend, whatever year you’re in has a battle of the bands tradition, where everyone gathers in the Hufflepuff common room to rock tf out.
  • Pureblood student’s learning muggle music and instruments and LOVING it.
  • Every person in the year having mad hangovers the next day, and being dragged to the Quidditch pitch. All of the older students who attended the battle the previous night would all be dying, some of them even conjuring their own potions in an attempt to stop their hangovers.
  • FUCKING FIRST/SECOND YEARS DABBING 
  • “10 points to Ravenclaw” *AGGRESSIVELY DABS* 
  • If you weren’t in Hufflepuff yourself, the Hufflepuffs would be so fucking annoying. In EVERY SINGLE HOUSE EVENT they would all be chanting this song. (Even better if there was a Hufflepuff vs Slytherin Quidditch match and all the fucking Hufflepuff’s start shrieking the snake part)
  • I’m convinced there would be a Wizarding equivalent to social media apps like vine, instagram etc. Imagine the fucking vines that would be made through the school year im dyigreqdasiuf
  • Some Ravenclaw students using the room of requirement as a gym, because they know not only the importance of a healthy mind, but a healthy body too. Some Gryffindor students tagging along too when they notice what they’re up to, interested in muggle ‘leg day’, as they call it.
  • Piercing’s getting banned but most students being like lol fuck ya, wearing nose rings, septums etc all the time without fail.
  • Skater kids would enchant their skateboards to be able to hover, riding them in the corridor to their classes. Some teachers like Professor Longbottom would let it slide, others such as Filch wouldn’t be as forgiving.
  • Voldemort would become a meme.
  • He would definitely be a meme oh my god I am CONVINCED of this
  • In the History of Magic studies, the selected teacher would be expressing how dangerous and fearful the Dark Lord had once looked, one of the Slytherin students yelling out, ‘He doesn’t even have a bloody nose?! Dark Lord my arse.”
  • Muggle born students would take their pureblood friends to Muggle music festivals like Glastonbury and Reading Leeds, and they would go OFF. 
  • Wizards/Witches enchanting their camping tents so it’s like a small cabin, so it wasn’t uncomfortable to sleep in after a long day of seeing all the bands.
  • Kids who stay over the Christmas holidays would so stay up and play beer pong for New Years- all the Ravenclaws using advanced magic to cheat.
  • In Charms class, the students in their last year would do the mannequin challenge, making objects levitate while someone records it all.
  • Gryffindor students being annoying little fucks and trying to see how many teachers they could get to dab over the year. This turns into an annual house event for students, Slytherin always winning.
  • For Halloween all the older students enchanting their image to look like professors, which may become problematic through the day.
  • Hufflepuffs coming to class stoned, but never get told off for it. Sure, the odd point or two will be taken away if it’s that obvious, but those little shits always get away with it. Bonus points because their common room is so close to the kitchen.
  • If you haven’t heard this song before, I believe the Gryffindor would change the lyrics to “Gryffindor sound, we aint fucken around, fuck our classes man so we keep it underground, cause potions each day got me feeling like shit but it’s all worth while when the weekend hits.”
  • Slytherin students playing odds on, getting their Gryffindor mates to jump into the black lake to see the giant squid. 
  • Muggle borns taking their pureblood friends to rugby/hockey/soccer games, and them not having a fucking clue what’s going on.
  • KIDS IN THE CHOIR USING THEIR FUCKING FROG’S TO DO DUBSTEP AND TRAP BEATS FUCK 
  • Students using Snapchat to record small snippets of Mandrakes screaming then slow it down- Professor Longbottom finds this hillarious.

    FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS LET ME SEE WHAT YA’LL GOT
Back To School Tips Master Post!

I had a few people asking me to do a back to school tips/ how to do well in school post so here it is. I’m a sophomore in college and an honors student so I plan on sharing the things that have helped me succeed. Even though these tips are things I use now in college, most of them I also used in high school so it can be applied there as well. 

Organization                                                                                                           The most beneficial thing you can do is stay organized.

  1. Get a planner.- I bought mine this year at Walgreens for around $7 but it has a plastic cover so all paper ones are even cheaper. A planner is good for keeping track of when everything is due. When I get my syllabi for my classes I go through them and write down the due dates of homework, essays, tests, etc, on the day they are due. You can color code your classes or just write the class next to the assignment. This way you can look at a whole week and see everything you have due for all of your classes in one place. It’s also easier to add in things or make changes if your professor decides to due so.
  2. Use a white board- I know white boards can be expensive, so if you can’t afford one, expo markers will write on laminated paper which you can get for around $4 on Amazon. I use this to keep on my wall and write the next really important date for each class. So I have all my classes listed on the board and let’s say my next big date in Psych is a test. I’d write that date on the board, then after the test, I’d erase it and write the next important date. These dates should be in your planner as well but it’s nice to have them right in front of you at all times so you don’t turn to the next week in your planner and realize you have a test on Monday. 
  3. Buy durable folders- If you’re going to be using your folders all year make sure they’ll last all year. You want to lose any of your assignments. I get plastic folders at Office Depot for $0.39 a piece. I chose a color for each class and write the class at the top in sharpie and I’m good to go!
  4. Notebooks too!- You’re going to be taking a lot of notes so make sure to keep a notebook for each class as well. Mine were $3 each at Office Depot but they have a plastic cover so if you need to save some money get the paper covers because you most likely wont reuse a notebook.
  5. Get a pack of loose leaf paper- Sometimes you have to turn things in and if you’re like me then you hate tearing it out of your notebook. But if you don’t have a problem with that then don’t worry about it!
  6. Use some sort of bag/backpack- This will help you not lose anything plus you can put water, snacks, etc in it as well!

Study Tips                                                                                                               Tests are often the biggest portion of your grade so knowing the best ways to study will help you out the most. 

  1. Figure out what type of learner you are- This can greatly improve your study skills. There are visual learners; these people learn best with charts, graphs, and anything that show a visual relationship between information. So if you’re this type of person, to help study you could make charts, graphs, tables, draws arrows between points of information, or watch videos. Anything to help you see it. There are also auditory learners; these people learn best when hearing the information. So the best way for these people to study is to recite information out loud, or if your course has an audio book to listen to it. You could also have a friend read information to you and you say it as well. Some people are reading/writing learners; they do best when reading the text and writing down important points/taking notes. This is the type of learner I am so to help me study, I write out my own flashcards, I copy power points into my notes, and as I read my chapters I write the important information.  Something else that is good for these kind of learners is to make little quizzes for yourself. There are also kinesthetic learners; they learn best with more hands on activities. This can be hard to do especially with some subjects. If you can physically do what you’re studying then do it. If not, make a game out of it. For example, ask yourself questions and if you get it right take a shot at a basketball hoop or a soccer goal (if you don’t have these things use a paper ball and your trashcan or anything you can substitute. Figuring out which learner you are will greatly improve how you study.
  2. Don’t wait until right before a test- Cramming your brain with all the information a few days before a test will not help you remember and only stress you out. This is called Massed Practice and is proven to be a waste of time and information is not retained well. Study a little everyday or every other day. This is called the Spacing Effect and is proven to improve retention and recall of information. So it is best to do short sessions of study over a long period of time rather than a long session all at once.
  3. Find a good place to study- If you like quiet places and your house/dorm is too loud go to a library or outside if it’ s a nice day.  If you like a lot of background noise play some music or go to a coffee shop.

Overall Tips                                                                                                            These tips are still really important but I don’t have enough that fit together to make another header.

  1. Work on what’s due first- Some people think it’s always best to work on the important things first but that’s not always the case. If your essay is due in two weeks and you have an assignment due in a few days then finish the assignment first. You’ll still have plenty of time for your essay. I suggest doing all your work but if something happens to where you just can’t then yes do the more important thing because it’ll be a bigger part of your grade.
  2. Writing Centers- A lot of colleges/universities have writing centers.  If you’re not the best at writing or just need some help you can make an appointment at the writing center where someone highly qualified in writing will read your paper/essay and help you with grammar, punctuation, idea flow, overall organization etc. I highly suggest checking to see if your school has one of these.
  3. Check your email/Blackboard/whatever your professor uses- This is where they may add extra assignments/ cancel class and not mention it in class. It’s always important to check.
  4. Try to relax- I know it can be hard, especially for students with depression, anxiety, and other mental/physical illnesses but it’s important to always take a moment and calm down. Take breaks from your work and do something you enjoy for at least a few minutes everyday. If you need a nap, take a nap. just set an alarm to pick back up on your work later.
  5. Don’t worry about being perfect- This is still something I’m working on myself but getting better at. Last semester I got a B for the first time since my sophomore year of high school and it bothered me to no end. But, I told myself I did my best, and as a person with bad social anxiety I’m okay with my B in public speaking. So for anyone else who feels like they have to keep their 4.0 all 4 years, don’ t panic if you don’t. There’s nothing wrong with not being perfect, almost no one graduates college with a 4.0. Always do your best, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I cannot stress this enough.
  6. Take classes you enjoy- Hopefully you’re in a major that you enjoy so you wont hate your classes too much but it’s still important to try to take a fun class every once in awhile. If you like art, take an art class. Then, you’re still doing work but also doing something you like.
  7. Get a tutor- If you’re not doing as well in a class as you would like, don’t be afraid to get a tutor. Most universities offer tutors who are students that would love to help you and wont be judgmental at all. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little extra help and tutors are often people who have already passed the class with an A so they’ll be very good resources.
  8. Take care of yourself- Overall, make sure you’re eating well and drinking water throughout the day. Sometimes it’s impossible, but try to get enough sleep. If you go out to party watch out for yourself and others. Practice self care and if things get too stressful and you need help don’t be afraid to ask.

I know this post is very long, but I wanted to share everything I could for anyone who wanted help. If I think of anything else I’ll definitely add it later. I hope everyone has a great semester and school year! Good luck to everyone!

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: There's unused animation for Umbra peeing and a dog camera mod that wasn't implemented, even more there's is a cat camera mod and animation for cats climbing around pipes in a train station in Niflheim whose a map wasn't implemented either, also there's the twitter picture of Gladio playing basketball when will I get shirtless Gladio basket minigame? One of the buildings in Insomnia has a football/soccer field inside. Why would they put that and leave it unused if it wasn't to make it useful later? When will we know why Cid and Regis fought? We never see past entries on the lovers notebook. Ignis mentions that Pryna is always with Luna while Umbra does deliveries. When will we interact with her? does she have the same powers as Umbra or can she do different things? when will we see how Luna awakened Ramuh or Titan, Shiva telling her about the covenants at age 13, her struggle and suffering because of said covenants, she traveling to Lestallum, the full extension of her powers like the barrier she raises in the omen trailer? We never saw Galahd nor Libertus again even though there's a lot of unexplained lore around the place like their music, tattoos, hairstyles, patterns, dishes and there's even concept art of the place they have a river where Noctis could go fishing. What parts of Ardyn's past was erased from history? How did Ifrits betrayal play? When and how did he make a pact with Ardyn? Tabata said the team was working on a massive unannounced update and there's so many things to expand on the game what in the heavens are they working on also what could Ignis DLC be about that is so closely related to the history of the game, the concept art screams heartbreak and I'm not ready there's so many unexplained things I-
Day One Hundred and One

-Upon noticing my distinct lack of a thick southern accent, an elderly woman began to interrogate me about every aspect of my life, from my family to my academic career. She then asked how I liked the area. I told her that it was different. She yelled at me for being politically correct. This is about how I saw the conversation going.

-I mistakenly called an older gentleman “Ma'am”. I did not realize that he was not a ma'am for a solid fifteen seconds. During this eternity, we were looking each other dead in the eye, waiting in silence for one of us to say something. I desperately hoped for a commercial break, as there was no way I was getting out of this one.

-A man expressed his frustrations that if you press the cancel button while paying, it will cancel your payment. I agree with him and believe that anything that will cancel your payment should be plainly labeled as such.

-Two soccer moms discussed their children’s extracurriculars in front of me. One asked the other, “What about soccer camp?” To this she got the reply, “We can’t do it. I’m afraid it might lead into them starting softball.” I completely sympathize with this woman. Volleyball is a gateway sport and should be avoided at all costs.

-A magazine cover at my register advertised the upcoming Beauty and the Beast movie as “The Story Of A Fairy Tale.” This is also known as “A Fairy Tale.”

-I came across a large stockpile of pineapple coconut water that expired in August of 2015. No one is quite sure why we have it, but if anyone PayPals me ten dollars, I am prepared to drink it all.

-I stuck my tongue out at an infant, and the giggle he let out changed my life. I am certain that if we gave a microphone to this joyful bundle of purity, we could end war, put a stop to hate in all forms, and even convince the Toupeed Tic Tac in Chief to step down from office.

-A man grew tired of waiting behind the woman I was ringing up and left to a different lane. The woman almost immediately completed her transaction, and, as someone steps behind him to block him in, other guests take up the premium place in line that could have been his. He shook his head in shame and gave up on his purchase entirely, leaving his items behind as he left the store in a wholly relatable cloud of agony.

9

@durmsnet get to know the members meme: [2/3] favourite relationships - @durmstranqs

what separates
the wolf from the sheep
is not a matter of good or evil.

we all have teeth
but only some of us
are willing to use them.

the slytherin quidditch team

Being Roommates with Overwatch Characters:

Genji: Very quiet and respectful, never eats your food. But he never sleeps, so that can get awkward. Sometimes he does his ninja training in the living room at like 3am. When you go down to yell at him he has mysteriously vanished…

McCree: Super friendly, super messy. He will always invite you into his room to watch this cool video he found on YouTube that you’ve certainly already seen, but he just found it. He thinks the fridge is more of a communal zone. You can take his food, and he can take your’s. He prefers to cook meals to share though, not that he’s any good at cooking. Is often hungover in the mornings.

Pharah: Isn’t home a lot. She’s very focused on her career. Her interactions with you are very formal at first, kinda stiff and awkward. It will either stay that way forever, or one night of drinking and video games will break the ice and give you a million inside jokes.

Reaper: Just the worst roommate ever. The second he’s done with something, he drops it on the ground. Beer bottles? Check. Towel? Yep. Laundry? You once found a pair of his boxers in the refrigerator for fucks sake Reyes, why is this here? NEXT TO MY MILK! He always claims he was the last one who did dishes. He never does dishes.

Soldier 76: The weird roommate you met through Craigslist who seems quiet and reserved at first, but once he gets going on his conspiracy theories and how THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN he will never shut up. Constantly plays CoD on the couch. Never seems to go to work, but always pays rent on time. Does the chores with military precision.

Tracer: Lives outside of time, quite literally. So be prepared to remind her of appointments, when rent is due, that it is not in fact the weekend so could she stop playing Just Dance so loud past eleven? It’s frustrating, but she’s so much fun to be around you forgive her.  She is on first name basis with all the bartenders in the neighborhood, and drinking with her is always an epic adventure.

Bastion: You bought this old thing on eBay. They said it was non-functional, but it immediately sprang to life in your apartment. It spends all its time out on the balcony, where a flock of birds have made it their home. Every once in a while you wake up in the middle of the night to find it crouched in the corner of your room in turret mode. Then you realize someone was being loud outside and it got scared.

Hanzo: There are two Hanzos. Calm, collected, brooding Hanzo, and I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH SAKEsshdhshjkfk Hanzo. Hanzo is normally very organized, his room his spartan and he made a chore schedule that he treats like it is law. But about two times a week he gets shit faced on expensive sake, cries about his brother, tries to fight a house plant (claiming it knows nothing of honor when he falls on his ass), and ends the evening on the balcony, pegging passersby with perfect precision with YOUR HOTDOGS THAT HE STOLE FROM THE FRIDGE, HANZO COME INSIDE.

Junkrat: Just, an absolute disaster. Your apartment has become a junkyard. Scraps of machines all of the place. And it smells terrible because he’s constantly mixing weird chemicals in the bathtub. You’ve started showering at the gym, and are terrified when you have to pee. You’ve had three minor fires in the place since he moved in, and you’re pretty sure he’s a criminal. You’d call the cops, but his… boyfriend? You’re not sure. His giant man partner keeps coming around and staring at you silently and you’re just trying to stay alive, okay?

Mei: Is terribly sweet and friendly, but messy and forgetful. You can’t get mad at her, because she always apologizes profusely when she forgets to do the dishes or take out the trash or that this is her week to buy toilet paper. She’s often wrapped up in her work, and loves to go on exuberant explanations of the science involved that you don’t even half understand. But you smile and nod along. She’s just so excited, you can’t interrupt her. Her bedroom is cluttered with items she collected from her travels and adventures, mixed with scientific equipment and climbing gear. She always wants you to come on nature hikes. They are beautiful but exhausting. That girl has boundless energy. The only time she gets mad is if you try to throw away a recyclable.

Torbjörn: He is constantly making noise, hammering, laughing like a maniac, riveting??? WTF is he doing in his room???? He’s very cranky and opinionated (do not bring up Omnics, trust me), but after a few beers he has some of the most amazing stores you’ve ever heard. He keeps his mess to his room and only forgets to do his chores every once in a while. But food in the fridge is going to disappear and he’ll get very defensive when you ask him about it. Also, long golden beard hairs! EVERYWHERE! in the bathroom! Clean out the drain when you’re done!

Widowmaker: The most intimidating person you’ve ever lived with. Hell, ever met. She will walk around in nothing but a towel, but it’s actually kind of terrifying? Like she’s daring you to say something to her??? You’re pretty sure she’s killed at least two people in the neighborhood. No one can prove it. You feel like she’s constantly watching you in your room… you’ve looked for cameras and found nothing. She leaves for days at a time, and then suddenly appears silently in the middle of the apartment. You didn’t hear the front door open????? WTF IS HAPPENING???? She leaves all the chores to you, will pretend she only speaks French if she’s not in the mood to talk to you. You’re pretty sure you’re going to be found dead in the bathtub and there will be no records of your roommate…

D.Va: Almost never does chores, acts like she did you a favor when she finally washes a single dish. Is constantly live streaming from the couch. You haven’t been able to watch TV since she moved in. She invites you to play games just to utterly destroy your ass at them. She got sponsored by Doritos and Mountain Dew so now the apartment is full of that crap. She acts like that’s her contribution to groceries because she saw you eat a chip. You thought she hated you until someone on her stream called you a loser and she tore them a new asshole. Is this what having a sister is like???

Reinhardt: Snores like a freight train is rumbling through the apartment. You can hear it through the walls. Through your earplugs. Nothing helps. He is incredibly helpful and friendly though. Always does his chores, does a few of your’s if you don’t stop him. Loves to cook dinner, but will always make the weirdest German fusion food. Any nice thing you do for him gets the most enthusiastic thanks that it makes you want to do nice things for him all the time.

Roadhog: You’ve seen some shit, man. Shit you can never tell anyone. Mostly because it would damage Roadhog’s bad ass reputation, and you will not make him angry. His room is full of plushies. He sleeps on them in a big pile. He spends all day playing Animal Crossing and he helps paint your nails. His weirdo boyfriend? You don’t know, small manic man partner comes over sometimes, but you managed to get them to not set off any explosions in the house(by claiming to protect the plushies). When Roadhog first showed up, you were terrified. But he’s turned out to be a really sweet guy. When you’re not on his shit list. You will do anything not to get on the shit list… A UPS driver damaged his limited edition Rainbow Sparkle Bear, and you heard the screams……..

Winston: Spends all his time in his room on his computer. He’s nice enough when he comes out, but that’s usually only for more peanut butter. He’s kind of shy and awkward around you at first, but one day you ask about the glory days of Overwatch, and you get a story hour of epic proportions. After that he is your buddy. Tracer comes by sometimes, always bringing a fresh batch of bananas. Winston tries to act insulted, but you always catch him eating them later. He forgets to do his chores, a lot. He always promises he’ll get around to them. After this experiment is finished… It never gets done.

Zarya: Your living room is now a gym. She moved in a professional looking weight set and bench. “This is just for casual,” she tells you. She constantly makes “helpful” remarks about your physique. She thinks if you just did some deadlifts, your legs would be much stronger. Much more solid. You are like noodle. She tries to train you on the weight set in the living room. She proves that she can benchpress you, and then gives you some fifty pound weights “For a warm up”. May god have mercy on your soul.

Lúcio: Just the nicest roommate ever. He will sit on the couch with you until 3 am talking through your problems. He baked you a cake on your birthday. Is it your day to do chores? He saw you weren’t feeling well, so he just did them this morning. Don’t worry about it, fam, I got you. He only asks you for things on behalf of others. Will you help him organize a fundraiser for the local kid’s soccer organization? Come to a protest to improve the working conditions in factories? Could you maybe drop off this extra portion of dinner to the old lady next door on your way out? Say hi to her cats for him. The only thing that can be annoying is he can get lost in his music and forget that it’s super late. But when that wakes you up, you usually just go and sit down in his room and watch him work on his latest tracks.

Mercy: You really won’t see her that often. She is an incredibly overworked doctor. She is a very kind and patient person, but you can tell she is constantly bone tired. You don’t even ask her to do chores, you just do them all yourself. She barely ever uses dishes or makes a mess anyway. She leaves you little cakes she bought at the bodega as a thank you every now and then. Most of your communication is through post it notes, as you are often on completely different schedules. She seems nice, but you don’t really know her.

Symmetra: Everything has to be just so. She doesn’t even let you do chores, she doesn’t trust that you did them right. She will say the bathroom is filthy when it looks sparkling to you. She is constantly creating little robots to do work for her, so you don’t feel too bad letting her clean? She is incredibly sheltered, and can get hostile when you challenge her world view. But at the same time, you can tell she’s lonely and hurting. With small gestures here and there, maybe you can become friends.

Zenyatta: Just, the chillest bro you have ever met. He floats around the apartment and doesn’t eat anything so he doesn’t cause messes. He still helps with the chores, because it is more balanced that way. When you go through a break up he will listen and give you advice that honestly makes you feel better. He invites you to mediate, and makes it sound like a really great activity. His pupil, Genji, is always coming around. Zenyatta is so happy to see him. Neither of them eat, but Genji makes you ramen sometimes and its SO GOOD. They are both cinnamon rolls, and your life is better for knowing them. Occasionally Zenyatta knocks something over as he floats by, but that’s about the only drawback.

Being the youngest avenger and them reacting to you going to Xavier's (or college/school)

-Bucky would be so proud that you want to control your mutations and Learn
-Steve would be chill at first then realize you’re serious
-“YOU CANT LEAVE WHOS GOING TO MAKE SURE THOR DOESNT EAT A BAR OF SOAP!”
- “I have full faith that the incident with soap won’t happen again Stevie…I hope”
-Wanda being super excited for you to meet cute boys (aka Alex summers or young Scott summers)
- Nat hiding weapons in your bags just in case
- tony trying to replace you with peter but it doesn’t work
- dramatic sobbing “ ITS NOT THE SAME BRUCE!! I WANT MY LITTLE CHEESESTICK BACK”
- and peters like “wtf thanks bruh #notfeelingthelove”
- Bruce making up a schedule for when to call or video chat every one individually
- Clint and sam being soccer moms and giving you a check list of stuff to pack and making sure you do
- Thor is just not having any of it
- “NO YOU WILL NOT TAKE IT I AM A NORSE GOD AND I FORBID IT”
- Thor holding onto your leg like ‘bitch you going I’m going to’
-eventually Steve gets him off…but then Bucky can’t let his little sidekick go
- “BUCKY PUT ME DOWN YOU OVERGROWN SNOWFLAKE”
- tearful goodbyes
- momma!steve
- “call me when you get there, and call us everyday, and If you want to come back I will not hesitate to get you immediately, NO BOYS! And we love you”
-long hug
- “Thor….” “ROSE LET JACK GO I WILL NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE!”
- “come on (y/n) we have a long journey ahead of us”
- “coming professor Xavier”
-mouthing ’ I love you guys’ before the elevator closes
- Tony, Bucky, and Thor crying for days until you call “LADY (Y/N) I MISS YOU”

Dad Pun Sentence Starters

Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send  👍and my Muse will say one to you!

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
“Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.”
“A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’”
“Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!”
“How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
“Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
“I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.”
“How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
“Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”
“'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!”
“I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!”
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.”
“What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.”
“How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.”
“Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.”
“I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.”
“Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.”
“How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.”
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
“Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.”
“Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”
“What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant”
“Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.”
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.”
“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
“What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.”
“I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
“The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.”
“This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.”
“5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.”
“Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?”“
"What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.”
“What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.”
“I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.”
“To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.”
“The rotation of earth really makes my day.”
“I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.”
“What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
“I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!”
“Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.”
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.”
“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.”
“I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.”
“Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.”
“I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.”
“People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”

almost a year ago i moved back “home” to the place i grew up in. last summer i lost everything, or so i thought. i lost my home, i lost love, school, a job i loved, and people who had felt more like family to me than anyone else ever had. i was on my own. i was alone. last year i was at the lowest point in my life and in 33 days it will mark a year since the day i tried to take my own life. i thought i had nothing left. i thought there was nothing left for me. mental illness was literally ruling my life. in this past year i have struggle more than i ever had in my life, but i have learned so much about life and love. i have gained so much self confidence, self love, and appreciation for everything that i am. i have struggled, i have pulled myself up from rock bottom. little did i know that in a years time, i would be on one of the most influential teams of my life, i would have a 3.8 GPA in college and i would be receiving an offer from a school to play soccer with nearly $30k in scholarships. i would start speaking out about mental illness, and how it changed my life. i would travel, adventure, laugh, and love more than i ever had. i would become a completely new version of myself. and i would do it all on my own. i thought i lost everything. but i gained so fucking much in the process. it just goes to show you that had i taken my own life a year ago, i wouldn’t have any of this. life isnt always easy, living with a mental illness is HARD, but it is possible. may is mental health awareness month and i decided this year that i will never stop speaking out about the troubles and triumphs of mental illness. because if you’re not making someone uncomfortable you’re not doing something right. so heres to still being here. heres to everything i thought i would never have. heres to smiling and working to end the stigma around mental illness along the way.

Humans Are Weird: Sports

I think aliens would be so confused by our methods of entertainment. Like if we just look at sports, we have Soccer, Basketball, Football/Rugby, baseball, softball, tennis, swimming, track, cross country, volleyball and so many more. Lets break a couple down.

Soccer: objective is to get the ball into the goal without using your hands. Equipment includes shoes with teeth on them and hard plating to protect our shins.

Basketball: the reverse of soccer, the goal is to get the harder ball into the net that is suspended in the air by bouncing it with your hands. No equipment.

Football: I’ll be honest I hate football with a passion and I don’t know a lot about it. But what I do know for sure is that getting tackle don’t just because you have the ball HURTS.

Volleyball: objective is to keep the ball going in the air over a net with out touching the ground, you use the vulnerable part of your forearms to do this. Special equipment includes knee pads to prevent skinning your knees.

These are only four of earths favorite sports and they HURT. Now imagine an alien learning about them and being horrified, like I play soccer and I have witnessed people have their hip messed up because of a nasty fall, then get annoyed because they have to miss the next couple games. Aliens would be so confused and concerned like, you already hurt yourselves enough. But now you are willingly submitting your self to more pain for the sake of not being bored!?

And they would be even more confused by the miniature games we play to keep our selves entertained. For example, my brother and I have our own version of wall ball we play. It includes a lot of diving to the ground. Or the games we play to warm up to play our other games, hand ball for example, where I have witnessed people vault of other people because they would jump off a cliff before they let the other team have the ball. 

Just imagine human starting a game of hockey of something in the corridors of their ship or something because they all where on break and had nothing else to do. Like the puck goes flying and knocks out a light (which I have also witnessed) and the aliens screaming and ducking for cover).


Feel free to add on. :)

cheesy pick up lines.

“You know what’s beautiful? Read the first word.”
“Are you flappy bird? Cause I could tap you all night.”
“Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!”
“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”
“Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”
“I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”
“I bet you play soccer, because you’re a keeper.”
“Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.”
“I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.”
“Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.”
“Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.”
“Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.”
“I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.”
“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
“If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”
“You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.”
“Do you have a name or can I call you mine?”
“Are you Google? Because I’ve just found what I’ve been searching for.”
“There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are now 100% off!”
“Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal you’re heart, and you’ll steal mine.”
“I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!”
“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”
“I think there’s something wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.”
“If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.”
“Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?”
“Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.”

one piece characters as things my friends have said


sabo: kids will whip to anything these days

usopp: *watches a goalie make an incredible save during a soccer game* CAN YOU SAVE MY GRADES LIKE THAT

ace: genuine question is cereal technically categorized as soup

luffy: *watching a sandwich being made* this is better than the miracle of childbirth

zoro: yo i just woke up from the FATTEST nap this world has ever seen

shanks: look, if you want to succeed as much as you want to pee, you can do anything in life

buggy: my favorite band is the Beatles, pronounced “beat lees”

franky: i know im american but there is no doubt in my mind that america is the 9th circle of hell

doflamingo: anyone who thinks katy perry has a better fashion sense than me is about to be a sorry son of a bitch

brook: no one can hit a dab harder than the elderly

sanji: i don’t trust anyone who looks like their brows are painted on. like me, for instance

law: im only dead on the outside. on the inside i just wonder why no one has a fucking problem with the fact that squidward walks around with no pants all the time

things that i have learned after trying out the regalia type-d

  • the one who does the soccer mom arm save was noctis all along. we were fools for thinking it was ignis. absolute fools.
  • bushes and trees have the consistency of rocks do not crash into them or you will get stuck and have to exit and reenter the vehicle like an ANIMAL
  • the adrenaline junkies in this squad are noctis and ignis, apparently
  • prompto “ARE CARS SUPPOSED TO Do THIS?!” argentum is just here for the ride, and will always have a good time, but ultimately has the fear of mortality that prevents him from True Adrenaline Junkery
  • gladio “displeased grunting and constantly pulling prompto back into his seat” amicitia is here for the ride but would prefer not to be
  • meanwhile, noctis “lets hit that rock at full speed” lucis caelum lives for the thrill of close encounters with death 
  • and ignis “i am quietly enjoying myself as if this is a casual hobby and not an extreme sport where the car nearly flips over and prompto almost dies because he, like everyone in this car, is not wearing a seat belt” scientia is just cooling it and having a great time