i have to do the soccer

@maximofftrash Okay then, 10 Pick Up Lines.

  1. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.
  2. Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
  3. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
  4. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
  5. Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.
  6. If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber. 
  7. I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
  8. Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future. 
  9. I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
  10. Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper! 
I have a couple questions for y’all cookies🤗:

1: The US calls football ⚽️  soccer 🏈, but how many of my readers call it that? Do you call Soccer Football or is it the other way around?

2: What are your timezones? I want to know what the best time to post/update is.

2

camisado // panic! at the disco

Motherhood

Short story by reddit user ellipticalmoons

I was never supposed to be a mother. But when Lilly was born, she became my whole world. We look just alike and she’s vibrant and smart. I really lucked out.

I never understood why my husband wasn’t quite as crazy about her as I was. Our relationship was great before Lilly was born but he got surly and depressed as time went on. He’s not a bad person though; I wasn’t there for him like I should’ve been. Life happens and he’s remarried now. I’m okay with that.

Keep reading

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: There's unused animation for Umbra peeing and a dog camera mod that wasn't implemented, even more there's is a cat camera mod and animation for cats climbing around pipes in a train station in Niflheim whose a map wasn't implemented either, also there's the twitter picture of Gladio playing basketball when will I get shirtless Gladio basket minigame? One of the buildings in Insomnia has a football/soccer field inside. Why would they put that and leave it unused if it wasn't to make it useful later? When will we know why Cid and Regis fought? We never see past entries on the lovers notebook. Ignis mentions that Pryna is always with Luna while Umbra does deliveries. When will we interact with her? does she have the same powers as Umbra or can she do different things? when will we see how Luna awakened Ramuh or Titan, Shiva telling her about the covenants at age 13, her struggle and suffering because of said covenants, she traveling to Lestallum, the full extension of her powers like the barrier she raises in the omen trailer? We never saw Galahd nor Libertus again even though there's a lot of unexplained lore around the place like their music, tattoos, hairstyles, patterns, dishes and there's even concept art of the place they have a river where Noctis could go fishing. What parts of Ardyn's past was erased from history? How did Ifrits betrayal play? When and how did he make a pact with Ardyn? Tabata said the team was working on a massive unannounced update and there's so many things to expand on the game what in the heavens are they working on also what could Ignis DLC be about that is so closely related to the history of the game, the concept art screams heartbreak and I'm not ready there's so many unexplained things I-
Day One Hundred and One

-Upon noticing my distinct lack of a thick southern accent, an elderly woman began to interrogate me about every aspect of my life, from my family to my academic career. She then asked how I liked the area. I told her that it was different. She yelled at me for being politically correct. This is about how I saw the conversation going.

-I mistakenly called an older gentleman “Ma'am”. I did not realize that he was not a ma'am for a solid fifteen seconds. During this eternity, we were looking each other dead in the eye, waiting in silence for one of us to say something. I desperately hoped for a commercial break, as there was no way I was getting out of this one.

-A man expressed his frustrations that if you press the cancel button while paying, it will cancel your payment. I agree with him and believe that anything that will cancel your payment should be plainly labeled as such.

-Two soccer moms discussed their children’s extracurriculars in front of me. One asked the other, “What about soccer camp?” To this she got the reply, “We can’t do it. I’m afraid it might lead into them starting softball.” I completely sympathize with this woman. Volleyball is a gateway sport and should be avoided at all costs.

-A magazine cover at my register advertised the upcoming Beauty and the Beast movie as “The Story Of A Fairy Tale.” This is also known as “A Fairy Tale.”

-I came across a large stockpile of pineapple coconut water that expired in August of 2015. No one is quite sure why we have it, but if anyone PayPals me ten dollars, I am prepared to drink it all.

-I stuck my tongue out at an infant, and the giggle he let out changed my life. I am certain that if we gave a microphone to this joyful bundle of purity, we could end war, put a stop to hate in all forms, and even convince the Toupeed Tic Tac in Chief to step down from office.

-A man grew tired of waiting behind the woman I was ringing up and left to a different lane. The woman almost immediately completed her transaction, and, as someone steps behind him to block him in, other guests take up the premium place in line that could have been his. He shook his head in shame and gave up on his purchase entirely, leaving his items behind as he left the store in a wholly relatable cloud of agony.

Modern Day Hogwarts!AU

Originally posted by rose-wexsley

  • Oh my GOD being a Witch/Wizard in the 2010-2017 era would be so much fucking fun I swear I’ve never wanted to be a modern witch more than I do now
  •  Imagine every Friday night to celebrate the weekend, whatever year you’re in has a battle of the bands tradition, where everyone gathers in the Hufflepuff common room to rock tf out.
  • Pureblood student’s learning muggle music and instruments and LOVING it.
  • Every person in the year having mad hangovers the next day, and being dragged to the Quidditch pitch. All of the older students who attended the battle the previous night would all be dying, some of them even conjuring their own potions in an attempt to stop their hangovers.
  • FUCKING FIRST/SECOND YEARS DABBING 
  • “10 points to Ravenclaw” *AGGRESSIVELY DABS* 
  • If you weren’t in Hufflepuff yourself, the Hufflepuffs would be so fucking annoying. In EVERY SINGLE HOUSE EVENT they would all be chanting this song. (Even better if there was a Hufflepuff vs Slytherin Quidditch match and all the fucking Hufflepuff’s start shrieking the snake part)
  • I’m convinced there would be a Wizarding equivalent to social media apps like vine, instagram etc. Imagine the fucking vines that would be made through the school year im dyigreqdasiuf
  • Some Ravenclaw students using the room of requirement as a gym, because they know not only the importance of a healthy mind, but a healthy body too. Some Gryffindor students tagging along too when they notice what they’re up to, interested in muggle ‘leg day’, as they call it.
  • Piercing’s getting banned but most students being like lol fuck ya, wearing nose rings, septums etc all the time without fail.
  • Skater kids would enchant their skateboards to be able to hover, riding them in the corridor to their classes. Some teachers like Professor Longbottom would let it slide, others such as Filch wouldn’t be as forgiving.
  • Voldemort would become a meme.
  • He would definitely be a meme oh my god I am CONVINCED of this
  • In the History of Magic studies, the selected teacher would be expressing how dangerous and fearful the Dark Lord had once looked, one of the Slytherin students yelling out, ‘He doesn’t even have a bloody nose?! Dark Lord my arse.”
  • Muggle born students would take their pureblood friends to Muggle music festivals like Glastonbury and Reading Leeds, and they would go OFF. 
  • Wizards/Witches enchanting their camping tents so it’s like a small cabin, so it wasn’t uncomfortable to sleep in after a long day of seeing all the bands.
  • Kids who stay over the Christmas holidays would so stay up and play beer pong for New Years- all the Ravenclaws using advanced magic to cheat.
  • In Charms class, the students in their last year would do the mannequin challenge, making objects levitate while someone records it all.
  • Gryffindor students being annoying little fucks and trying to see how many teachers they could get to dab over the year. This turns into an annual house event for students, Slytherin always winning.
  • For Halloween all the older students enchanting their image to look like professors, which may become problematic through the day.
  • Hufflepuffs coming to class stoned, but never get told off for it. Sure, the odd point or two will be taken away if it’s that obvious, but those little shits always get away with it. Bonus points because their common room is so close to the kitchen.
  • If you haven’t heard this song before, I believe the Gryffindor would change the lyrics to “Gryffindor sound, we aint fucken around, fuck our classes man so we keep it underground, cause potions each day got me feeling like shit but it’s all worth while when the weekend hits.”
  • Slytherin students playing odds on, getting their Gryffindor mates to jump into the black lake to see the giant squid. 
  • Muggle borns taking their pureblood friends to rugby/hockey/soccer games, and them not having a fucking clue what’s going on.
  • KIDS IN THE CHOIR USING THEIR FUCKING FROG’S TO DO DUBSTEP AND TRAP BEATS FUCK 
  • Students using Snapchat to record small snippets of Mandrakes screaming then slow it down- Professor Longbottom finds this hillarious.

    FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS LET ME SEE WHAT YA’LL GOT

almost a year ago i moved back “home” to the place i grew up in. last summer i lost everything, or so i thought. i lost my home, i lost love, school, a job i loved, and people who had felt more like family to me than anyone else ever had. i was on my own. i was alone. last year i was at the lowest point in my life and in 33 days it will mark a year since the day i tried to take my own life. i thought i had nothing left. i thought there was nothing left for me. mental illness was literally ruling my life. in this past year i have struggle more than i ever had in my life, but i have learned so much about life and love. i have gained so much self confidence, self love, and appreciation for everything that i am. i have struggled, i have pulled myself up from rock bottom. little did i know that in a years time, i would be on one of the most influential teams of my life, i would have a 3.8 GPA in college and i would be receiving an offer from a school to play soccer with nearly $30k in scholarships. i would start speaking out about mental illness, and how it changed my life. i would travel, adventure, laugh, and love more than i ever had. i would become a completely new version of myself. and i would do it all on my own. i thought i lost everything. but i gained so fucking much in the process. it just goes to show you that had i taken my own life a year ago, i wouldn’t have any of this. life isnt always easy, living with a mental illness is HARD, but it is possible. may is mental health awareness month and i decided this year that i will never stop speaking out about the troubles and triumphs of mental illness. because if you’re not making someone uncomfortable you’re not doing something right. so heres to still being here. heres to everything i thought i would never have. heres to smiling and working to end the stigma around mental illness along the way.

Being Roommates with Overwatch Characters:

Genji: Very quiet and respectful, never eats your food. But he never sleeps, so that can get awkward. Sometimes he does his ninja training in the living room at like 3am. When you go down to yell at him he has mysteriously vanished…

McCree: Super friendly, super messy. He will always invite you into his room to watch this cool video he found on YouTube that you’ve certainly already seen, but he just found it. He thinks the fridge is more of a communal zone. You can take his food, and he can take your’s. He prefers to cook meals to share though, not that he’s any good at cooking. Is often hungover in the mornings.

Pharah: Isn’t home a lot. She’s very focused on her career. Her interactions with you are very formal at first, kinda stiff and awkward. It will either stay that way forever, or one night of drinking and video games will break the ice and give you a million inside jokes.

Reaper: Just the worst roommate ever. The second he’s done with something, he drops it on the ground. Beer bottles? Check. Towel? Yep. Laundry? You once found a pair of his boxers in the refrigerator for fucks sake Reyes, why is this here? NEXT TO MY MILK! He always claims he was the last one who did dishes. He never does dishes.

Soldier 76: The weird roommate you met through Craigslist who seems quiet and reserved at first, but once he gets going on his conspiracy theories and how THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN he will never shut up. Constantly plays CoD on the couch. Never seems to go to work, but always pays rent on time. Does the chores with military precision.

Tracer: Lives outside of time, quite literally. So be prepared to remind her of appointments, when rent is due, that it is not in fact the weekend so could she stop playing Just Dance so loud past eleven? It’s frustrating, but she’s so much fun to be around you forgive her.  She is on first name basis with all the bartenders in the neighborhood, and drinking with her is always an epic adventure.

Bastion: You bought this old thing on eBay. They said it was non-functional, but it immediately sprang to life in your apartment. It spends all its time out on the balcony, where a flock of birds have made it their home. Every once in a while you wake up in the middle of the night to find it crouched in the corner of your room in turret mode. Then you realize someone was being loud outside and it got scared.

Hanzo: There are two Hanzos. Calm, collected, brooding Hanzo, and I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH SAKEsshdhshjkfk Hanzo. Hanzo is normally very organized, his room his spartan and he made a chore schedule that he treats like it is law. But about two times a week he gets shit faced on expensive sake, cries about his brother, tries to fight a house plant (claiming it knows nothing of honor when he falls on his ass), and ends the evening on the balcony, pegging passersby with perfect precision with YOUR HOTDOGS THAT HE STOLE FROM THE FRIDGE, HANZO COME INSIDE.

Junkrat: Just, an absolute disaster. Your apartment has become a junkyard. Scraps of machines all of the place. And it smells terrible because he’s constantly mixing weird chemicals in the bathtub. You’ve started showering at the gym, and are terrified when you have to pee. You’ve had three minor fires in the place since he moved in, and you’re pretty sure he’s a criminal. You’d call the cops, but his… boyfriend? You’re not sure. His giant man partner keeps coming around and staring at you silently and you’re just trying to stay alive, okay?

Mei: Is terribly sweet and friendly, but messy and forgetful. You can’t get mad at her, because she always apologizes profusely when she forgets to do the dishes or take out the trash or that this is her week to buy toilet paper. She’s often wrapped up in her work, and loves to go on exuberant explanations of the science involved that you don’t even half understand. But you smile and nod along. She’s just so excited, you can’t interrupt her. Her bedroom is cluttered with items she collected from her travels and adventures, mixed with scientific equipment and climbing gear. She always wants you to come on nature hikes. They are beautiful but exhausting. That girl has boundless energy. The only time she gets mad is if you try to throw away a recyclable.

Torbjörn: He is constantly making noise, hammering, laughing like a maniac, riveting??? WTF is he doing in his room???? He’s very cranky and opinionated (do not bring up Omnics, trust me), but after a few beers he has some of the most amazing stores you’ve ever heard. He keeps his mess to his room and only forgets to do his chores every once in a while. But food in the fridge is going to disappear and he’ll get very defensive when you ask him about it. Also, long golden beard hairs! EVERYWHERE! in the bathroom! Clean out the drain when you’re done!

Widowmaker: The most intimidating person you’ve ever lived with. Hell, ever met. She will walk around in nothing but a towel, but it’s actually kind of terrifying? Like she’s daring you to say something to her??? You’re pretty sure she’s killed at least two people in the neighborhood. No one can prove it. You feel like she’s constantly watching you in your room… you’ve looked for cameras and found nothing. She leaves for days at a time, and then suddenly appears silently in the middle of the apartment. You didn’t hear the front door open????? WTF IS HAPPENING???? She leaves all the chores to you, will pretend she only speaks French if she’s not in the mood to talk to you. You’re pretty sure you’re going to be found dead in the bathtub and there will be no records of your roommate…

D.Va: Almost never does chores, acts like she did you a favor when she finally washes a single dish. Is constantly live streaming from the couch. You haven’t been able to watch TV since she moved in. She invites you to play games just to utterly destroy your ass at them. She got sponsored by Doritos and Mountain Dew so now the apartment is full of that crap. She acts like that’s her contribution to groceries because she saw you eat a chip. You thought she hated you until someone on her stream called you a loser and she tore them a new asshole. Is this what having a sister is like???

Reinhardt: Snores like a freight train is rumbling through the apartment. You can hear it through the walls. Through your earplugs. Nothing helps. He is incredibly helpful and friendly though. Always does his chores, does a few of your’s if you don’t stop him. Loves to cook dinner, but will always make the weirdest German fusion food. Any nice thing you do for him gets the most enthusiastic thanks that it makes you want to do nice things for him all the time.

Roadhog: You’ve seen some shit, man. Shit you can never tell anyone. Mostly because it would damage Roadhog’s bad ass reputation, and you will not make him angry. His room is full of plushies. He sleeps on them in a big pile. He spends all day playing Animal Crossing and he helps paint your nails. His weirdo boyfriend? You don’t know, small manic man partner comes over sometimes, but you managed to get them to not set off any explosions in the house(by claiming to protect the plushies). When Roadhog first showed up, you were terrified. But he’s turned out to be a really sweet guy. When you’re not on his shit list. You will do anything not to get on the shit list… A UPS driver damaged his limited edition Rainbow Sparkle Bear, and you heard the screams……..

Winston: Spends all his time in his room on his computer. He’s nice enough when he comes out, but that’s usually only for more peanut butter. He’s kind of shy and awkward around you at first, but one day you ask about the glory days of Overwatch, and you get a story hour of epic proportions. After that he is your buddy. Tracer comes by sometimes, always bringing a fresh batch of bananas. Winston tries to act insulted, but you always catch him eating them later. He forgets to do his chores, a lot. He always promises he’ll get around to them. After this experiment is finished… It never gets done.

Zarya: Your living room is now a gym. She moved in a professional looking weight set and bench. “This is just for casual,” she tells you. She constantly makes “helpful” remarks about your physique. She thinks if you just did some deadlifts, your legs would be much stronger. Much more solid. You are like noodle. She tries to train you on the weight set in the living room. She proves that she can benchpress you, and then gives you some fifty pound weights “For a warm up”. May god have mercy on your soul.

Lúcio: Just the nicest roommate ever. He will sit on the couch with you until 3 am talking through your problems. He baked you a cake on your birthday. Is it your day to do chores? He saw you weren’t feeling well, so he just did them this morning. Don’t worry about it, fam, I got you. He only asks you for things on behalf of others. Will you help him organize a fundraiser for the local kid’s soccer organization? Come to a protest to improve the working conditions in factories? Could you maybe drop off this extra portion of dinner to the old lady next door on your way out? Say hi to her cats for him. The only thing that can be annoying is he can get lost in his music and forget that it’s super late. But when that wakes you up, you usually just go and sit down in his room and watch him work on his latest tracks.

Mercy: You really won’t see her that often. She is an incredibly overworked doctor. She is a very kind and patient person, but you can tell she is constantly bone tired. You don’t even ask her to do chores, you just do them all yourself. She barely ever uses dishes or makes a mess anyway. She leaves you little cakes she bought at the bodega as a thank you every now and then. Most of your communication is through post it notes, as you are often on completely different schedules. She seems nice, but you don’t really know her.

Symmetra: Everything has to be just so. She doesn’t even let you do chores, she doesn’t trust that you did them right. She will say the bathroom is filthy when it looks sparkling to you. She is constantly creating little robots to do work for her, so you don’t feel too bad letting her clean? She is incredibly sheltered, and can get hostile when you challenge her world view. But at the same time, you can tell she’s lonely and hurting. With small gestures here and there, maybe you can become friends.

Zenyatta: Just, the chillest bro you have ever met. He floats around the apartment and doesn’t eat anything so he doesn’t cause messes. He still helps with the chores, because it is more balanced that way. When you go through a break up he will listen and give you advice that honestly makes you feel better. He invites you to mediate, and makes it sound like a really great activity. His pupil, Genji, is always coming around. Zenyatta is so happy to see him. Neither of them eat, but Genji makes you ramen sometimes and its SO GOOD. They are both cinnamon rolls, and your life is better for knowing them. Occasionally Zenyatta knocks something over as he floats by, but that’s about the only drawback.

Okay so Lance...

This post sparked a headcanon in my head and I can’t stop imaging it now so I’m going to talk about it and develop it a bit more (feel free to add to it, share your opinion about it, talk to me about it, etc)

Considering its pretty much canon that Lance has a big family with the photo we saw in season one I can’t help but picture him with his siblings and cousins having soccer games whenever they’re together. Family gathering or not, I can totally see lance being a decent soccer player. 

Hear me out: 

- Lance plays soccer as a kid since his older sibling(s) did and his parents insisted he try some extracurriculars

- He sticks with it for quite a few years getting pretty good always enjoying it 

- But as he gets older his dreams of being a professional soccer player are replaced with piloting and the Garrison

- Everyone’s crushed when he quits because Lance had the potential to go pro and all his coaches said so

- He doesn’t think about it much and kind of just shrugs when people compliment his soccer skills, Lance doesn’t really believe he’s as great as everyone says he is because of his self-doubt and insecurities 

- Lets be real he’d totally look good in a soccer uniform and I bet he has all the merch of his favourite team including like three jerseys, two scarves, temporary tattoos, and a ball signed by his fave player (Keith sees Lance in a soccer jersey at some point and dies a little inside bc holy quiznak he looks so good??)

- On a particularly bad day when Lance is really missing home and his family Hunk catches on and suggests that they all play a quick game of soccer which totally brightens Lance’s mood

- After setting up two goals in the training room and briefing Allura and Coran about the rules and basic concept (Altea probs had the same sport just with a different name lets be real) they split into teams: Lance, Pidge, Shiro VS Keith, Hunk, Allura w/ Coran reffing 

- It starts off fun with everyone laughing and just trying their best but as soon as Lance and Keith butt heads it turns competitive and all hell breaks loose 

- Pidge being the dork she is doesn’t understand the hype over soccer and only continues to play because she’s enjoying spending time with the group (and she secretly wants to win lol for bragging rights) 

- Shiro is all “Keep it a fair game guys! You’re all doing great! Great pass Lance!” and is just happy to see everyone having fun and working together

- Keith is ride or die with any competition and is determined to take Lance down (while also trying to ignore how amazing Lance is bc I can’t get enough of pining Keith lol)

- Hunk is probably a soccer player too so he’s loving it, he’d be the best defence player omg

- Allura picks it up easily and is wicked good totally kicking everyone’s asses, she goes from ‘innocent team fun’ to ‘you’re all going down mfs eat my dust’ (Shiro is smitten af lol he keeps getting distracted by her flawlessness which makes Lance all “Dude! Get it together I am not losing to Keith!”)

- Coran is the best ref ever and is just cheering for everyone the entire time, he’d probably dress for the part too (omg imagine Coran with the black and white striped shirt, a black cap, and whistle lol

- It ends up a tie because the teams are equally good, also the game goes on for much longer than expected so they all get tired af and just finally give in satisfied with the game

- Coran brings out drinks and they all just chill together settling down; everyone’s sweaty and out of breath, they all have goofy grins 

- Lance quietly thanks Hunk for getting everyone involved and just sighs happily at his space family

- Just imagine it guys

- Also someone should totally draw this

- Just saying…

1. What is one word you would use to describe yourself? Happy.

2. What is the song you can’t stop listening to right now? “Wait For It” on the Hamilton soundtrack.

3. What are you currently watching on Netflix? “13 Reasons Why.”

4. What is your favorite sports movie of all time? “Friday Night Lights.”

5. Go-to pregame meal? I’m an omelet extraordinaire. I have an omelet with veggies, meats, cheese – the works. And before workouts, I always make this yogurt parfait.

6. Do you have any pregame superstitions or rituals? I actually rid myself of superstitions, but I do a quick 20-minute meditation before games.

7. If you could have any three celebrities over for dinner, living or deceased, who would they be? The Obamas. Just me, President Obama and Michelle.

8. What was your AIM screen name? brownsuganumba9.

9. If you weren’t a professional athlete, what would your occupation be? Therapist or psychologist. Something in that field.

10. What is your go-to karaoke song? “Hey Ma” by Cam'Ron.

11. Who was your sports idol growing up? Serena Williams is my sports idol.

12. What is your favorite thing to do on an off day? Be in nature. Hike, or go to the beach. I love to be outside.

13. If soccer had “walk-up” songs, what would yours be? Bruno Mars’ “That’s What I Like”

14. What is your go-to emoji? It’s called pop star, but it’s the new one of the girl with paint on her face. She embodies me as a person.

15. If there were to be a movie about your life, who would you want to play you? Angelina Jolie.

16. What if your coach had to describe you in one word? What would he say? Brave.

17. Do you have any hidden talents or hobbies outside soccer? No hidden talents, but I have a lot of hobbies. Acrylic painting. I got a whole set and I light candles at night and sit there and paint and look out on Lake Michigan.

18. Favorite cheat meal? French fries. Skinny, thick cut, garlic fries, TRUFFLE fries … I love French fries.

19. One place you’ve never been that you want to visit? Tokyo.

20. First concert you ever attended? Spice Girls

cheesy pick up lines.

“You know what’s beautiful? Read the first word.”
“Are you flappy bird? Cause I could tap you all night.”
“Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!”
“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”
“Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”
“I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”
“I bet you play soccer, because you’re a keeper.”
“Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.”
“I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.”
“Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.”
“Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.”
“Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.”
“I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.”
“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
“If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”
“You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.”
“Do you have a name or can I call you mine?”
“Are you Google? Because I’ve just found what I’ve been searching for.”
“There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are now 100% off!”
“Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal you’re heart, and you’ll steal mine.”
“I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!”
“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”
“I think there’s something wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.”
“If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.”
“Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?”
“Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.”
Behind the Scenes of SEVENTEEN’s Boom Boom MV

Pledis: Okay you guys it is FINALLY time! We are going to release a dark concept!

Jun: Thank God

Joshua: *quietly* noo

Vernon: *high fives S.Coups*

Hoshi: Wait…Why????

Pledis: Um maybe because you have only done cute concepts since debut, and Carats are ready to see you be mysterious, dangerous, bad and show yourselves as tortured souls.

Minghao: *looks up with puppy eyes* I thought we already were tough?

Seungkwan: *pulls out nail file and begins filing nails* Yeah our manly image exudes in every performance we give!

Jeonghan: *rolls eyes*

Pledis: Whatever. Look I want you to come strong with the action and charisma. We need mega sex appeal!

Dino: Pretty sure I’m not legal

Hoshi: Pretty sure nobody cares, SO! I have a great idea for the outfits!

Woozi:*under breath* of course you do

Pledis: Tell me

Hoshi: How about we wear these really cool jackets and we ta–

Pledis: TAKE THEM OFF AND SHOW BARE SKIN! GREAT IDEA! Usually that’s something Starship would do, but it’s not like that’s helped them one bit so we can do that most definitely!

Hoshi: I was going to say that when we take them off we reveal a track suit underneath!

Joshua: *raises hand* I second this idea.

S.Coups: Wow that is sexy! And how about we have a lot of spy and espionage type things, maybe even sho–

Pledis: SHOW YOU GUYS KILLING OR BEING KILLED IN LIKE A SUPER TRAGIC WAY! THAT IS GENIUS!

S.Coups: No…I was going to say we can show a bunch of maps and kind of stand out on in a soccer field or something.

Seungkwan: And I can even have a restless sleep with a ship in a bottle behind me!

Pledis:

Vernon: Wow, This dark concept sounds awesome. Move over BAP. We’re about to be the top dogs of darkness!

Wonwoo: I want to dye my hair blonde, I want to really show the bad boy look

Mingyu: And we did get the okay to dye my hair out of this ridiculous orange color right? It’s bad enough having one video with this color I DEF don’t want two.

Pledis: DO ANY OF YOU BOYS EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF DARK CONCEPT???? NONE OF THE THINGS YOU SUGGESTED ARE EVEN DARK!!!!

S.Coups: Oh so you want us to suggest something dark to you?

Pledis: YES!!!

S.Coups: *gestures to Jeonghan*

Jeonghan: *flicks his hair back and walks over to Pledis*

Jeonghan: *puts hand on Pledis shoulder*

Jeonghan: *leans in and whispers* If you don’t let us do whatever the CENSORED we want to CENSORED do then we’ll leave you and your CENSORED company in the dust so fast you’ll be kissing Nu’est butts with chapstick to try and hit it big again. Got it?

Pledis: Wha-wha-what??

S.Coups: *yells* DID YOU GET THE FREAKING PICTURE?!!

Pledis: *jumps* Y-yes Sir…I mean Sirs!

S.Coups: Good, now go. And don’t come back unless you have our paychecks and a–

Dino: bag of skittles!

S.Coups: *rolls eyes* Bag of skittles in your hands!

Pledis: *turns and leaves*

Joshua: So….when did we get so bold exactly?

Hoshi: when we realized our record sales were the only thing that was keeping the lights on.

Woozi: Finally.

Joshua: I’ll admit, it does feel a little good.

Jeonghan: *stands back up* I’ll be back. I want to go scream at him again and see if he’ll cry this time.

S.Coups: Have fun!

Korean Grammar: 지만 ‘but’

Even though 지만 is used as ‘but’ it is also used to contrast two different clauses. All you have to do with it is attach it to a verb stem (which include both descriptive verbs and action verbs)

Example:

축구는 좋지만 야구는 싫어요.

I like soccer but I don’t like baseball.

Below are the different uses for 지만:

verb stem + 지만 Present tense
verb stem + 았지만/었지만/였지만Past tense
verb stem + 겠지만 Future tense
Noun + 이지만 Nouns (to be)
Noun + 이었지만 Nouns in Past tense (was)

Examples:

가다 → 가지만  “go, but…”

오겠다 → 오겠지만  “will come, but…”

먹었다 → 먹었지만  “ate, but…”

예쁘다 → 예쁘지만  “pretty, but…”

슬프다 → 슬프지만  “sad, but…”

형이다 → 형이지만  “it is my brother, but…”

Different Subject Rule:

If you are talking about two different subjects then its important to not forget about topic markers! Either the topic marker 는 or 은.

Example:

매운 음식을 먹을 수 있지만 먹을 수 없어요.

I can eat spicy food but my brother can’t.

Connection Two Sentences!

So even though so far I’ve only covered that you can use 지만 to connect two clauses it can also be used in connecting two sentences. That being said we have to use the words; 하지만, 그렇지만 or 그러나.

Example:

여름이에요. 하지만 덥지 않아요.  connecting two sentences

여름이지만 덥지 않아요.  connecting two clauses

It’s summer. However it’s not hot.

i. I always believed Love would have blue eyes and blonde hair.
I assumed Love would love to read,
and know exactly what to do
when my thoughts became too loud.
Love would also love to play Mario with me,
and would stand up to the mean kids at school.
Love never came.

ii. Love stumbled into my life when I was twelve years old.
Love had brown eyes and hair to match;
Love loved soccer and his sisters.
Love loved me—but not in the way I wanted Love to.
I watched Love, love so many others, but not me—
never me.

iii. In high school, love had blue eyes,
but he had blonde hair
with too much hair gel in it.
Love wore plaid everyday,
and played video games all night.
Love left without a goodbye.
Love never knew he was Love.

iv. Love has green eyes and blonde hair.
Love plays the ukulele and loves to
take literature classes.
Love has a quiet disposition,
and a contagious smile.
Love makes my hands stop shaking,
and slows down my thoughts
when they become too much.

v. Love does not know he is Love,
but that’s okay–maybe Love
does not need to know.
Maybe Love will not stay;
maybe Love cannot stay.
Maybe Love can only stay
for a short time,
but Love—
Love is here now.

If I ever have to say goodbye to Love,
I will cherish the time I had with him,
and I will remember that Love was here for the exact
amount of time Love needed to be,
and now, Love must go
where Love is needed.
—  the (incomplete) story of Love in five parts (28/52) by (DS) [insp.]
Dad Pun Sentence Starters

Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send  👍and my Muse will say one to you!

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
“Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.”
“A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’”
“Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!”
“How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
“Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
“I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.”
“How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
“Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”
“'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!”
“I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!”
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.”
“What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.”
“How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.”
“Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.”
“I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.”
“Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.”
“How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.”
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
“Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.”
“Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”
“What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant”
“Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.”
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.”
“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
“What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.”
“I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
“The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.”
“This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.”
“5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.”
“Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?”“
"What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.”
“What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.”
“I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.”
“To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.”
“The rotation of earth really makes my day.”
“I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.”
“What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
“I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!”
“Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.”
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.”
“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.”
“I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.”
“Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.”
“I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.”
“People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”