“Yuuri, the baby is sniffling. I think we should take her to the hospital.”
“What?!” Yuuri screeches, vaulting out of bed because it’s four o’clock in the morning and the only things that made their way into his sleeping brain were baby and hospital.
Viktor is hovering over him like some sort of predatory bird, holding the baby. Their matching pairs of eyes are both fixed on him. It looks kind of like they’re one creature with four eyes and Yuuri is still partially asleep.
“Holy shit, never do that again,” Yuuri snaps, nearly punching the switch on the lamp.
The baby sneezes.
“Sniffles, Yuuri,” Viktor says gravely, slowly rocking back and forth. Viktor does that constantly nowadays, even when he’s not handling the baby. Yuuri caught him holding Yuri’s skate bag the other day, gently bouncing and patting it while staring with zero focus in his eyes and intense concentration on his face at the closest wall.
“Does she have a fever?”
“No, but I–”
“Did you listen to her chest? Is she breathing normally?”
“Does she seem distressed?” To Yuuri’s eyes, she just looks perplexed. Perplexed and maybe a bit upset to have been removed from her warm bed and now have a bright light shining into her face.
“Then it can wait until the morning.” Yuuri turns off the light and takes her from Viktor’s hands, curls up on his side with her wiggling in his arms. “Hello, sweetheart. Let’s go back to sleep.” He kisses her head and waits for Viktor to slowly shuffle around the bed and get in behind him.
“You can’t fall asleep with her in our bed,” Viktor tells him fretfully after a moment.
“I’m aware,” Yuuri says slowly. “Did you know that I’ve read the exact same parenting books that you have, Viktor? Did you know that?” He kisses her again. “The feeding alarm is going to go off in a few minutes. I’m resting my eyes until then.”
There is blessed silence for almost a full minute before Viktor says, “I just think–”
“I will strangle you in front of your child,” Yuuri hisses.
“Shutting up now.”
Six years later, Viktor watches their second child run head-first into a wall and does nothing but shout, “Shake it off, bunny!” from across the room. Yuuri avenges his younger self by dropping their third child into Viktor’s lap and announcing, “He needs to be changed.”
It’s one of those diaper changes that ends with Viktor standing in the shower with the baby, unsalvagable clothes (Both baby’s and Viktor’s) in a trash bag by the bathroom door. Yuuri films it.