i have this exact camera

I can’t imagine Lexa seeing Clarke’s boobs for the first time in any way except??? a comical one.

like a shot of Clarke’s hands unbuttoning her shirt. then a shot from behind as she takes her bra off.

and then just. a shot of Lexa’s face, illuminated by godly light (coming from the direction of Clarke’s boobs, obviously.) a chorus of angels start to sing. Lexa isn’t breathing.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Part 1.75 of 2! (So 3 of 4) — Haha, my bad :P. Sorry, sorry, but what can I say? A story needs plot, and plot needs development. Creds to the amazing @shadowfear-art as this is all based off their equally amazing au! Enjoy :3

Fandom: Borderlands | Prompt: Angel is roughly 2-4, and since Jack’s a workaholic, she doesn’t really get the amount attention she wants. So naturally, Angel finds someone who will pay attention to her. | Pairing: Rhack | AU

With thoughts of the strangeness that occurred before the elevator had descended pushed into the back of his mind, Rhys had still begun feeling a mounting tension in the air around the office spaces he and Angel passed, and how unusually quiet – and empty – the halls were. On the bright side, the pair had made it down to the transit without much pause.

The platform was empty save for the shuttle driver and a security officer, who held up a pausing hand to Rhys before he and Angel could board. “Ah, sorry, but this sector is on lockdown. No one goes in or out. ‘Fraid I’ll have to ask that you return the way you came.”

“A lockdown? Is that why everyone’s more uptight then usual?” Rhys initiated a light conversation.

The officer shrugged, putting one hand on her hip and dragging a hand through her short blonde curls. “Yeah, well, that’s what I was told anyways. ‘Course no one ever thinks to actually tell me anythin’ more then that.”

Rhys sucked in a knowing breath, nodding his head slowly. “I feel that. Sucks though that we can’t be heading out. Sorry, little one.” Rhys looked down meeting Angel’s gaze, squeezing her hand lightly in his own.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Where were ya headed though? If you don’t mind me askin’ ‘course.” The officer put out there, tucking her arms against her chest as she offered Angel a kind smile, who in turn moved closer to Rhys, giving his hand a squeeze.

“We were just headed to the Hub, it’s fine. We’ll just be heading back.” Rhys tossed his head casually in the direction he and Angel had come.

“But I’m hungry…” Angel whispered, gripping onto Rhys’ pant leg,her voice so small Rhys almost hadn’t caught it.

Pity welled up in the officer’s eyes as Rhys forced a flustered smile before he crouched down to Angel’s height, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up. “A lockdown is a lockdown, sweetheart. It’ll probably lift soon anyways, okay?” Rhys noticed the officer looking down at the EchoComm she held before she nodded to herself.

“Um, hey wait… This shuttle is actually headed to the Hub to stay until the lockdown is lifted, and I’m going off with it… an’ even if the shops are closed down, you’ll be right on your way to the living quarters. I don’t see why you two can’t tag along?”

Rhys’ eyebrows rose as he turned back to face the officer. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to get in any kind of trouble, Miss…”

“Karen, call me Karen. An’ I’m sure no one would be angry at me for helpin’ out a man and his little girl. Get aboard, I’ll tell the driver to push off, alright?” She smiled, then turned to give the shuttle driver the word.

As Rhys opened his mouth to correct the woman, Angel wiggled out of his grasp and skipped onto the shuttle, emitting a thrilled ‘yay!’ Before adding, “C’mon, Rice!”

Rhys pursed his lips, following after with a grumpy expression. “Alright, alright, settle down. Just because there’s room to run doesn’t mean we can’t just sit down and have a rest instead, okay?”

“What?” Angel had made it the length of the end of the transit car and halfway back before pausing, cocking her head to the side and giving Rhys a quizzical look.

“You don’t need to run around. Come sit, please.” Rhys patted the empty spot next to him.

“Mm, no.” She giggled, twirling around the passenger pole clumsily.

The security officer, Karen, chuckled as she entered the car, the exit doors sliding shut noiselessly behind her. “Troubles?” She asked, taking a seat across the aisle from Rhys.

“No, no. She’s been like this for the better part of the day.” He sighed, sitting back, attention still on Angel. “You could at least sit down while the train gets going so you don’t fall down.”

Angel, who’d taken up walking over the seats like they were a tight rope, stopped directly in front of Rhys, puffing out her cheeks then blowing out a sigh. “Okay…” She said in defeat before spinning around and dropping herself in his empty lap. “I sit.”

Rhys shook his head, trying to hide a smile. “I knew you’d come around.”

Though her primary expression put across that she didn’t really understand all of what he’d just said, she still blew a raspberry at him, that he didn’t hesitate to return, tickling her side and making her giggle.

Karen smiled across the way, crossing one leg over the other at the knee as the shuttle finally started moving. Sitting forward she commented, “You two are so adorable together.”

Rhys shrugged, features relaxed as Angel shifted around to face forwards in his lap. “It’s all her, really.”

“Mm. Uh, sorry I didn’ ask sooner, but I don’t think I caught your name?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s-”

“Rice!” Angel interjected, resting her head back and looking up at Rhys with large happy eyes and a wide grin.

“- Rhys. It’s Rhys.” He corrected, poking Angel lightly in the tummy.

“Rhys… That’s a nice name! And what about you sweetie? What’s your name?”

“Angel.” Angel replied, pulling Rhys’ hands onto her lap and pressing her palms to him, paying now real attention to the blonde woman.

“Oh, that’s a pretty name. Did your mommy give it to you?”

Rhys stiffened, Angel however, did not change in her blatant disregard for the woman. “No, daddy did. Mummy ‘eft.”

Karen looked from Angel to Rhys, a remorseful expression across her face. “I am so sorry, oh, I just keep messin’ up today, don’t I? Oh goodness…”

“I-it’s alright.” Rhys said awkwardly. This was really getting a little out of hand…

Karen nodded, but the sympathy remained in her gaze as she addressed Angel again. “Well, it’s still a lovely name. It really is. And I’m sure you and your daddy are very happy together, right? Oh, of course…”

Rhys’ forced smile started to falter as Karen started going a little overboard in efforts to fix what she seemed to see as an irredeemable mistake. Angel however, didn’t seem to notice the growing awkwardness in the shuttle car. “Mhmm, me, Daddy, and Rice! Super happy!” She bounced, making Rhys’ hands clap together.

A frown crossed Karen’s face that reflected in Rhys’ own, until it clicked. “I’m Rice.” He said more to himself then to the blonde, who was still looking a little lost.

It was then that Angel let out a tiny gasp. “Dat mean TWO daddies!” She said in an aghast whisper.

“Oh! I see, how lucky are you?”

“Lots!” Angel cheered, at last making eye contact with the security officer. “’Course Daddy a’ways let me do anyfin I want. Rice don’t.” She pouted, leaning her head back to look at Rhys with big eyes again.

“Well, I guess that just means I’m the more responsible one.” Rhys commented without properly letting the progression of the situation sink in.

“What’s ‘reponsib’ mean?”

Rhys blanked for a good couple of seconds, now aware that he’d more-or-less just bashed a man he’d never met, and who also happened to be this little girl’s father. Whoopsie. “Uh, it, uh… Well, it means when someone, uh… Y’know, does stuff, and thinks about that stuff before they do that stuff…” Rhys trailed off, feeling Karen’s sympathetic eye on him.

“Okay.” Angel hummed in a bored, completely disinterested tone.

Silence enveloped the shuttle for the rest of the way, save for Angel’s tuneless humming and the soothing sound of steel gliding over electric rails. Rhys couldn’t have been more thankful for that.

“Sir, it’s Fitz, sir.”

Jack, who’d taken up lounging in the golden chair in his office again - very similarly to how he had been before this whole fiasco had taken place, expect his one hand was tucked under his chin rather then holding his resting brow – looked up at the holo screen. “Is your name s’posed to mean somethin’ to me?” Jack asked in obvious distaste.

“No. However, I might have news about the whereabouts of the targets. As my predecessor had failed to properly shut off this sector, I can guarantee that the pair are no longer in this area. They are however, somewhere in the Hub of Heroism, to which I’ve already taken the liberty of closing off and docking all transit lines to and from, Sir. As we speak, I am having multiple teams start from the outer districts and work their way toward the Central Hub. I figured you ought to know that there is a possibility that that is where they may either be headed, or already be, if they are in fact on a run of sorts.”

Jack sat up, feet planting firmly on the ground as his hands rested comfortably on the armrests of his chair. He allowed an impressed look cross his features. The first good news he’d heard all fucking day. “Congrats, kiddo, you just your ass a get-out-of-death free card. Can’t say the same for you old captain though. He’s like, super dead already. Got eyes on the cameras?”

“Yessir. I have what people I can spare from the search teams on that already.”

“Good boy- or girl… I can never tell with those stupid ass uniforms you all wear. Good job, worker, I guess.”

“Um… Were you not the one who decided on this as our uniform, Sir?”

“Duh, and you all look fucking dumb. It’s hilarious.” Jack had a good laugh before sitting forward and slamming his hands down on his desk, causing the image of Fitz to jitter. Either because they legitimately jumped themself, or because Jack had actually managed to make the holo screen move. “Now, enough chit-chat, find them. And I want to deal with this fucking bandit myself, so let me know the moment you have their exact location. Got it?”

“I got it.”

Jack nodded, turning his chair to get up, only to find the link hadn’t been disconnected yet. “Are you deaf? I just-”

“I- I know, sir, sorry, sir, but when I said ‘I got it’, I literally meant I got it. I have their exact location on camera, that coupled with the report I received from an officer that confirmed they were somewhere in the Hub, I can safely say that they’re in the Central Hub. Almost directly outside of your office actually… Sir. Shall I send you a feed?”

Despite his initial desire to bitch about being cut off, the reasoning was more than enough to satiate his growing bloodlust. For now. “Thank you, Frats. It’d be just peachy if you could do that for me, pumpkin. And while your at it, lift that lockdown on everywhere but the centre.”

The officer frowned, but they still nodded. “Yessir. What should be done after that?”

“Absolutely nothing. You may have your teams guard access to the centre if you wish, but once I’ve had a look at this bastard, I fully intend to head down there myself. Ciao.”

The image of Fitz faded and was replaced with a live feed of the Central Hub. After some teasing of the camera’s focal point, Jack was able to easily find his daughter, walking hand in hand with some lanky guy like she were his kid. Jack continued to watch, turning up the volume on his speakers, cancelling out anything that wasn’t the two as the dude lead her toward the only open shop. A café of sorts.


“What do you mean, no? Didn’t you say you were hungry? Back on the platform?”

“No.” Jack watched as his little girl smiled, pulling away from the guy. “Play!”

The guy rolled his eyes, but didn’t actually look surprised by the turn of events. “We’re supposed to be here trying to find your daddy, remember, Angel? Hopefully clear things up before anything gets out of hand…” The said in a lower tone that Jack almost didn’t hear. To fucking late, buddy…


The guy looked around at the practically empty court, then looked back down to her. “Alright, I guess we can play, but then we have to find your dad. Okay?”

“Play!” Angel jumped up and down, clapping her hands, then took off without another word, catching him off guard.

“Angel! Angel wait!” The man took off after her.

Jack followed them via camera until they were running around in one of the small green parks that were set up in various places around the Hub. Jack was beginning to piece together what had actually happened to cause this whole disaster, and it had everything to do with the peculiar birthmark his daughter had. The underlying point being, it was time for Handsome Jack to make his appearance.

i have a headcanon that off camera, dan and phil are the exact opposite of who we all see them as. dan is a bubbly, bright, happy, optimistic person who talks phil’s ear off and is always reading about weird things and smiles a lot and puts stickers on everything; and phil is a quiet, somber man who likes to sit and read or listen to music and is slightly negative and pessimistic and thinks too much about everything