i have the urge to cry whenever i post things here

The Honest Guide on Preparing for College

I thought it’d be cool and useful to give you guys an “Honest Guide on Preparing for College.” It has all the things you may already know, and then also some things you perhaps don’t. And a bunch of tips that are helpful for preparing for college, but also during college. I’ve been working on this post for months, adding few new tips every now and then so hopefully you guys like it and find it useful! :) I may add more tips from time to time, I’m not sure.

  1. Suffer from acne? Visit a dermatologist to get it under control ASAP. The earlier you start, the earlier you’ll see results! And trust me, you’ll be going bare-faced a lot in college. At least twice a day- morning & night. And you’ll always want to look and feel your best! It sucks to be self-conscious.
  2. Figure out a rough guideline of your morning/ night routine. Your college routine is usually not going to be the exact same as your home routine. Ie: Make up will probably be done in your room, not in the bathroom. If you use makeup often, consider buying a vanity mirror! Very useful. 
  3. You won’t need binders. I brought 3 (1-inch) in case and I hardly use one. It’s more useful to have individual folders for each class. Or even those notebook with tabs inside to hold papers. The point being, the way you organize your work is different in high school. You’re not going to the same 5 periods everyday in college. You have classes that meet MWF, and TTh, etc.
  4. Don’t forget to bring college essentials! Refer to my two posts here (”College Essential Hacks”) and here (”Things I Forgot/ Nearly Forgot to Bring to College”. 
  5. Invest in make-up. In high school, I never wore make-up but now I often wear mascara and light lipstick! I spent countless trips figuring out what shade was best for me and trying out different products. Would’ve been easier to just do this in the comfort of my own home than in college! I’m still a make-up noob though, haha. I can’t even figure out how to apply eyeliner confidently!
  6. Bring clothes you’ll actually wear. 1/3 of the clothes I’ve brought to college were never worn… They just took up closet space!
  7. Bring formal clothes too. You never know what events you’ll go to (including sorority rush, galas, etc). Don’t forget a good pair (or two) of shoes for the outfit!
  8. Realize that the first month-ish of school is the prime time to make new friends. People are more open to making new friends and are more friendly and receptive. Make the most of this!!! I can not stress this enough! Remember that first impressions can stick, so be especially graceful during this period. I would even go so far as to say that you should try to go out to a party in the first few weeks of school for two reasons…. 1) You can see if you fit with the party scene and if you enjoy it. 2) When you attend events early on, people will assume you’re down to go for the rest of the semester and you’ll get invites. (Which you can turn down, of course.)
  9. Keep in touch with old friends! Seriously. Don’t just make new college friends and forget about your old high school friends. Keep in touch! Message them regularly and keep them in the loop! It might seem like a lot of work to message them all the details about something, especially when they are unfamiliar with the people so you have to describe it a lot (Wait, who’s Jim again? What’s your roommate’s name again? etc), but it’s so rewarding to have an old, familiar friend with you as you both experience college together, but separately.
  10. Know your schedule and be on top of this. Be organized. I recommend a planner and also having a print out of your weekly schedule that has your classes and other time commitments. I actually drew my weekly schedule and hung it by my desk. It not only helps me visualize my week, but also lets my roommates know when to expect me. I also use a calendar app very diligently. Whenever I commit to an event, I immediately put it into my calendars (the app, and also my physical calendar in my room). I also inputted the dates and times of my exams/ important assignments from the get-go so I wouldn’t be surprised about when they were. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND INPUTTING THE DATES OF YOUR EXAMS AND DUE DATES OF PAPERS, ETC INTO YOUR CALENDAR ASAP!!!!!!!!
  11. Keep in touch with family. Similar reasoning with #9. But basically, your parents and siblings have lived with you all of your life. They’ll miss you. Text them, call them, facetime them once in a while. Send them a postcard. Buy them college gear. Do little things like this; they’ll really appreciate it!
  12. Don’t be so uptight and remember to be grateful. I feel like I’ve matured greatly in college. I used to have these crazy-high expectations about friendships and stuff, and now, it’s not that I have absurdly low expectations, but I just don’t take everything for granted. I am grateful for anything and everything my friends do for me. They bought me Chipotle? Aww. They reminded me about the review session? So sweet. Basically, don’t take things for granted.
  13. Don’t be that one annoying friend. You know who you are. College is a time where you can really ‘reinvent’ yourself and you should really try to be a ‘better you’ during college. Here are some traits I find annoying, personally… An annoying friend is one who does any or all of these things:
    1. “Forget” to pay a friend back for spotting you. Seriously, we all hate that person who does this and we all really respect that person who is really diligent about paying back someone. So take note. Everyone is on a tight budget in college.
    2. Rants all the time. If you’re ranting all the time and your friend is just listening, you have yourself a freaking awesome friend. Just remember that friendship means you can rant, and your friend can rant back. It’s a two-way street.
    3. Tries to peer pressure others into doing something they like. Okay, I get that you drink and smoke a lot. But you don’t need to feel the urge to ‘convert’ me to doing the same. No means no.
    4. Always bails or is flaky. Freaking annoying.
    5. Takes things too far. We all have that one friend who takes things too far and doesn’t know when to stop….
    6. Too sensitive… But we also may have an uber-sensitive friend who always holds grudges and is a grumpy cat. 
  14. Don’t skip class. Seriously. It doesn’t matter if the lecture is posted online, or if you’ll just get notes from a friend. Or if you already ‘know’ what’s being taught. Just go. Skipping class = lower grades = lower GPA = unhappy you.
  15. Be willing to try new things. This can vary to an extent from person to person. It can be as crazy as asking someone out or trying new food. College is a time of growth, new experiences, and fun times. HOWEVER, don’t do anything that will harm yourself. None of this “yolo” mantra please.
  16. Bring a lot of undies. Shirts and pants can be reworn more than once (within reason), but undies can’t. So save yourself from doing laundry all the time and bring a lot of undies.
  17. Learn to let things go. I used to be that person who held onto grudges. But since starting college, I’ve really begun to realize that life is so much more fun and enjoyable if you don’t let the little things faze you. Learn to let it go. Don’t let what that rude guy said to you this morning stick with you for the whole day. Who cares if you asked someone out and it failed? You don’t need them anyway! You’re too fabulous for them to handle! 
  18. Learn to be confident in yourself. “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You “- Dr Seuss. Over the years, I’ve found that I’ve grown much more confident and independent. I love it.
  19. Learn how to socialize and be a great conversationalist. Smile and actually pay attention to what they’re saying. Remember what they said and bring it up the next time you see them. Hey, how was your lunch at Gypsy’s with John? It makes people feel special and nice. Use their names in the conversation as often as you can (without it sounding totally awkward and weird). People like hearing their names in conversation. [Btw, I read these facts on a Time article somewhere so its legit.]. People don’t remember what you say, but they remember how you made them feel. So make them feel loved and appreciated. Laugh.
  20. Live and learn through your mistakes. No one’s perfect. So what if you bombed your first midterm? It’s the first of many. Pick yourself up and study harder for the next one. Don’t get all beaten up.
  21. Consider bringing your AP study guide books to college. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened my AP Calculus review book from Princeton Review to review and look up things.
  22. Keep track of your meal points. I frequently hear people saying they always have leftover meal points at the end of the year, but maybe it’s because I like to buy a lot of snacks, but I was actually behind on points for half the semester. It’s no big deal–I can easily add more points–, but just don’t be under the illusion that you have unlimited amount of points and can buy whatever you want. Be smart about rationing off your points.
  23. Don’t let one midterm grade affect you. Yeah, you failed that midterm. So what? Just do well on the next ones. There’s nothing you can do about your midterm grade–you can only improve yourself for the future. Have a good cry, rant to friends, watch some Netflix–and then realize the changes you have to make and enforce the changes. 
  24. Pick classes that you’ll enjoy. Don’t pick morning classes (if you can help it) if you’re not a morning person. Don’t take a Drawing/ Painting class if you’re not an artsy person for your Visual Arts requirement–there’s classes like Art History or stuff like that. Be reasonable about the classes you take and how much workload you know you can handle. Not everyone is the same.
  25. Go see your adviser from time to time. Just to make sure you’re on track! Work out a 4-year plan. You don’t want to have any surprises later down the road!
  26. Be careful with labels. Like “best friend” or “favorite person”. Sometimes, these can lead people on unintentionally and you’ll get yourself in awkward and uncomfortable situations where they like you but you don’t like them or something. I learned that it’s just best to call people your “friends” and unless you are really bonded with a person, then call them your best friend. But honestly, if you two are best friends, you kinda just know you are each other’s best friend–it’s a mutual feeling and it doesn’t really need to be said or labeled. I think it’s just best to rid yourself of using labels, honestly. Terms that imply exclusivity can sometimes lead people on. I think you should have a self-check with yourself every month or two and go like, “Okay, where am I at? I really like where I am right now. I could improve on this… etc etc. Let’s see the friends I’m close to… Do I think any of them likes me? I don’t want to unintentionally lead them on.” Just stuff like that.
  27. Understand your finances for college. Including scholarships, how much you’re paying, how much you’re working (if applicable), etc. Just be on top of all your money stuff! 
  28. Don’t go out and eat out a lot. I ate out a lot during freshman year. Too much. I had no regrets during the moment but now looking back, I just imagine all of the money I could’ve saved if I didn’t eat out…. :( You can save so much money by reducing how much you eat out.
  29. Be financially conscious and be mindful of how much you spend. There are plenty of hangouts you and your friends can do that don’t require money or that much money. Examples: movie nights, picnics, checking out the campus botanical garden, going sightseeing in the city, cooking dinner together, etc. Just because it costs money doesn’t mean it will always be fun, memorable or worth it–something to remind yourself of! In addition, shoot for quality over quantity. Buy a $50 pair of Rainbows sandals that will last for years, instead of flimsy, cheaply made sandals that will break after a couple of uses. Splurge on that North Face jacket–you’ll be wearing it a lot and it’s versatile and will last you years. Now that I buy groceries and cook for myself, I’ve definitely come to appreciate the value of the dollar.
  30. Realize how small the world is and how connected everything is. Don’t talk shit about people. Seriously. The person you’re complaining about may have a friend who is taking a class with the person you’re telling to. Or the person you’re telling it to may have a friend who has a friend who knows the person. If it’s one thing that keeps coming up in my time here, it’s that everyone seems to know everybody (or is a friend of a friend). So limit your shit-talking, secret-sharing, gossip talk to only your trusted confidants. Seriously, though. As you go through college, you’ll come to notice that many people will reappear in your classes because of being in the same major, and more. The world is small, y’all. Don’t be reckless.
3 AM {part 4 of TAEHYUNG WEARS PRADA}

You were completely ready to hand in your resignation. There were too many little things that had happened and as you laid there, you could feel the anger build inside of you. But then you saw a crack in his cold armor. 

He had called you at 3 in the morning, you were seething with hatred from being woken up.

What do you want, Taehyung? You growled into the phone. Before you could scream at him, you heard a shaky breath.

Can you come over? His voice seemed much smaller than usual. There was a childlike nature to it and it was so unlike him that you found yourself scrabbling to find your keys. 

I’ll be there in a second. You were mumbling into the phone. 

I’m not at the dorm. You heard him sniffle as you tried to wrack your brain. 

Okay, well where are you? Your voice was less agitated and more concerned as you tried to think of anywhere he would have gone. 

His weary directions found you in a park, the only light was a combination of the street lamps and the moon. You found him sitting underneath a tree, his back to you, but you could tell he was shaking. As you approached, the autumn leaves crunched underneath your feet and he turned towards you. 

His eyes were puffy and his cheeks were stained red. He tried to say something, but you could see him deflate. There was no passion, just sadness. You knelt down next to him, stretching your legs out to sit on one side of him, the two of you sat in silence. You didn’t want to urge him to speak, but it was killing you to know. 

Tae? You quietly spoke. 

She would always come here. Whenever we fought, she would come here to think. His voice shook with raw emotion. You tried to keep up but you felt like you were thrown into the middle of a story. You didn’t know all of the characters, who was this girl he was crying over? As if he could hear your internal questioning, he started over. 

The public doesn’t know this, but I was engaged. We were young and stupid and I thought that we could make it work. She got sick when I decided to dive into acting. We fought so much and then one day she left. I thought that maybe she went home or maybe she couldn’t handle my lifestyle, but … but … His breathing became more erratic, he was looking at the ground but he suddenly balled his hands into fists and hit the ground. You jumped back slightly in shock at his outburst. 

She died. She left me because she didn’t want me to realize just how sick she was, then I got the call one day that her ashes were going to be spread in our hometown. You listened to him breakdown. He had built up this wall and now he was giving you a glimpse of who was on the other side. A part of you wanted to know why he was showing you this side of him, another part didn’t care. 

As you walked him home, you took an old handkerchief out of your pocket. Handing it over to him, you let him dab his eyes. As he was about to put the handkerchief to his nose, you stopped him. 

Ah ah! That’s my grandfather’s! It’s very old! Don’t do that! You all but yelled at him. He looked at the old cloth, its frayed edges and saw the look of sheer panic in your eye. 

Here, then. He gently placed the old textile in your hand. He saw you give it a small hug as you folded it and placed it back into your pocket. He chuckled and patted you on the head. Turning around he opened the door and left you outside. His heart was racing as he closed the door. A part of him was still confused as to why he felt the need to call you when he was upset, but another part of him was just happy to find someone who was beginning to numb the pain. 

You wandered back to your apartment, thanking god that it wasn’t too far of a walk from the dorm. Opening the front door, you were met with a piece of paper listing your grievances on the countertop. You looked at the letter, the one you had angrily written only hours before and squinted at it. Folding it up, you placed it in the desk drawer. You weren’t going to give it to Tae, not after tonight. Crawling into bed, you snuggled under the warm covers and thought about everything that had happened. 

A warm sensation blossomed between the two of you, as you both thought of everything that the night had brought. If only your pasts weren’t so complicated. 

musesplayhouse  asked:

Pidge and their s/o pull a John Mulaney on the crew. (Basically, playing What's New Pussycat 21 times in a row, and have It's not Unusual play right after the seventh What's New Pussycat)

(Ok I’m gonna go ahead and do this reader insert style, but the prompt is the same. And damn this is really long sorry lol)

“Wait, y/n, are you sure this is a good idea?” Pidge asked.

“Pssh, yeah, it’ll be funny,” y/n said, flapping their hand dismissively of the thought that this could possibly be a bad idea. “Ok, I’m putting in the third dollar.”

“I didn’t mean that this was a bad idea, but we’re missing something.” Pidge tapped the side of the alien jukebox they found on the main deck with alien versions of songs they used to have on Earth. Honestly, what were the odds?

“I’m about to put in another ‘What’s New Pussymeow-beast,’” y/n sing-songed.

“Wait!” Pidge stopped y/n’s hand. “I’ve got it. ‘It’s Not Not-usual’. Put it in. Only one.” Y/n’s jaw dropped a little.

“You’re a genius,” they whispered.
It wasn’t long until the two of the had the jukebox ready to play 21 'What’s New Pussymeow-beast’s’ with one 'It’s Not Not-usual’ hidden in the mix. All that was left to do was sit down and watch.

They chose a spot where they could see all the other Paladins, who had gathered because Princess Allura had supposedly called for a meeting. Princess Allura and Coran were just walking in when the first song started to play. At first, no one seemed phased, but Allura seemed excited that the jukebox still worked. “Oh my, that’s amazing! That music-playing machine has been there for ages, I wasn’t sure if it would work,” she exclaimed. She seemed genuinely excited. “My father hated it, I can’t seem to remember why.”

As the first song faded out and the second faded in, Lance let out a sigh and said, “Geez, 'What’s New Pussymeow-beast’ is a lot longer than I thought it was. We have a song like this on Earth.”

No one was really affected by the third or fourth play, but by the fifth, everyone looked ready to explode. Shiro caught Pidge’s gaze and shook his head in disappointment. “Why would you do this to me,” his eyes said. Hunk had two pillows tied around his head with his headband, no longer bothered and instead falling asleep. Lance banged his head against a nearby door frame, and Keith… Keith’s fists were clenched and his face was slowly turning red.

“I hate this song… so… much,” he whispered between gritted teeth. Y/n had to clap their hand over their mouth to keep from laughing too loudly and squeezed Pidge’s hand.

“T-this is hi-hilarious!” they managed to get out. Pidge squeezed their hand back, smiling widely.

Oddly, Allura and Coran seemed particularly unfazed. “I remember why he hated it now,” Allura remarked, completely monotone. Coran shrugged his shoulders a bit, and did a little dance to the song.

“Well, Princess, we’ve got to make the most of it. Just gotta shimmy a little bit, try it,” he suggested. It was Pidge who was resisting the urge to laugh now, little snorts escaping irregularly.

The song played two more times, Shiro’s face was blank and his shoulders hunched, Hunk was asleep with no chance of waking, Lance’s head banging was accompanied by sounds of weeping, and Keith looked just about ready to scream.

The entire view was absolutely magical. When the seventh song finally faded out and 'It’s Not Not-usual’ started to play, it became practically ethereal. Shiro looked as if he was five years younger, Lance was crying tears of joy, and Keith had fallen to his knees with eyes full of tears. “Sweet liberation,” he whispered.

Pidge and y/n were in tears trying to keep from laughing, wheezing and snorting sounds coming from both of them. “P-Pidge, this is amazing!” Y/n snorted out. They buried their face into Pidge’s shoulder in an attempt to smother their laughter.

“I, uh, I’m having an amazing time with you, y/n. I’m glad we did this,” Pidge said, putting their arms around y/n.

Y/n pulled away with a smile just as 'It’s Not Not-usual came on, exclaiming, “Me too!”

Lance and Keith began to scream and cry nearly simultaneously, and Shiro stood straight before marching up to Princess Allura, whose face was still as stone.

“You called us for a meeting, didn’t you? I’d personally like to have it somewhere else. In fact, we should definitely have it somewhere else,” Shiro suggested firmly.

Allura gave him a strange look. “I called for no such meeting,” she stated, very confused. “And where’s Pidge? If there was a Paladin meeting, shouldn’t they be here?” Pidge couldn’t help but let out a snort as Allura began to piece things together.

“You’re right, Princess, but Pidge has been here the whole time.” Shiro pointed in their direction. Keith and Lance twisted their heads on their direction as well. A shock of fear traveled down y/n’s spine.

“Alright,” y/n said, grabbing Pidge’s hand in preparation to run, “we’ve got to go. Like, now!”

“Good idea!” Pidge agreed.
~~~
“And that was the story of the best meeting of our life,” finished Pidge, grinning at y/n.

“We were there,” Lance groaned. “I lived through that.”

“Oh, we know. It’s just so funny, and you get this look on your face whenever we talk about it,” said y/n, a goofy grin on their face.

Pidge smiled and took y/n’s hand into their own. “Yeah, it was pretty funny.”

To somebody who owns her own world. To somebody who’s intelligent yet insane. To somebody who can do anything: can sing, dance or act. To somebody who is too curious on stuff and won’t stop until she gets what she wants. To somebody who loves spending her time in front of the mirror, looking at her face and putting something.To somebody who would look at her face for at least ten times a day. To somebody who would persuade you to do things. To somebody who’s never tired of proving her point. As long as she believes in it, she would always explain it. To somebody who loves spending money as long as it isn’t hers. To somebody who was there for me when I needed her the most. To somebody who I can never get tired of. To somebody who annoys me as much as I annoy her. To somebody whom I can’t say NO. To somebody who accepts me for who I am. To somebody I treasure the most. To somebody I will always be proud of. To somebody whose birthday is today. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. <3

Hi Bestie!!!!!!!!!! It has been a rough day for me because I was trying my best not to greet you! Thank God I was able to resist that urge. Happy seventeenth birthday, dearest bestie!!!!!! Only God knows how grateful I am to have you(and via) as my BESTESTESTESTEST FRIENDS. Writing a letter for you and posting it on Facebook with a collage of our pictures together would be a mainstream deed that’s why I’ll rather make a textpost here for you.((still mainstream i know)) I do not have any idea how my life would really be without you as my best friend. You know what I mean. We never quarrelled. WE MAY ARGUE A LOT BUT IT NEVER CAME TO A POINT WHERE WE WONT TALK TO EACH OTHER. The both of us couldn’t stand not talking to each other. We have endless conversations whenever we’re together. We have the same tastes and such. I do not know but maybe our trio, you via and me, is a match made from heaven. Quit acting like a bitch without us. WE DO IT ALTOGETHER.OKAY.  After all what have happened, here we are studying in the same university yet we don’t see each other as often as we want!!!!! Dem schedules however, we can meet as long as we fix our freakin’ schedules. 

Bianca, I THANK YOU SUPER SUPER FOR EVERYTHING. A thank you would never be enough but THANKYOU FOR STAYING BY MY SIDE. For being that someone who stood by my side when I was about to fall. Thank you for the advices and for defending((not a right term)) me. Should I say sorry? I have done nothing against you. Aha. But yeah. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE AND IM REALLY HOPING YOU HAD A GOOD ONE. I love you to the moon and back and if ever you will need me, I’ll be here. I WILL LISTEN AND IF I NEED TO SLAP YOU, I WILL DO TOO. 

Please stay sweet and clingy and caring and pretty((eventho you’re not))

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW. But kuya brian ehem ehem. I know. I won’t argue. But please. LET HIM BE YOU HAPPY EVER AFTER. ((HUWOW)) I don’t want you getting sad and hurt and crying over the phone. ((SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA LAUGH AT YOU BUT IM A GOOD FRIEND EHE))

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN AND IM REALLY HOPING THAT YOU WOULD NEVER CHANGE. 

P.S SEE YOU TOMORROW :) 

P.P.S FOODS PLEASE HEHEHE MWA

Love,

Super-Duper-Sexy-Hannah 

One Last Time (V)

Characters: Hoseok (Jhope) & Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff & smut

Series: Intro, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6Chapter 7Chapter 8Chapter 9 (Finale)  

Summary: Hoseok is a member of a very successful boy group, BTS, while you are a trainee, who is getting ready for debut. The two of you have been dating for two years, but he suddenly left you without another word. No explanation. No apology. Nothing. You were left to suffer and find the answers yourself. If only you knew how painful the truth was going to be, you wouldn’t have been so determined to find out. But one thing that hurt more than the truth, was what the past could bring. 


Helloo :) I’m back. So…. I just realized.. that I’m really bad at posting things on time. I’m sorry that this chapter took a while to get out, but I hope that you have all liked it? I always love to hear what you guys think ❤️ I will try my best to post the next chapters for this series and the Best Friend Code as soon as I can. 😊 Since… I’m starting university in… like.. three days… 😰 BUT I promise, I will get to writing them whenever I have the time. Until next time, remember to like, reblog and share. Happy Reading~

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

“The fuck Hoseok. Why are we suddenly going to Y/N’s dorm now? We have a schedule to catch.” Yoongi said.

“I.. It’s just.. I promise it won’t take long. Just please hyung we need to get to Y/N’s dorm as soon as we can. I’ll explain everything else later.” Hoseok begged.

Within minutes, the car had quickly reached your dorm with the help of his manager’s driving.

“I promise. I won’t take long. Thank you hyung!” Hoseok yelled before he ran out of the car and into the apartment.

Having came to your dorm multiple times, he knew exactly which staircase allowed him to reach your dorm the fastest. So with the help of the security guard who had quickly opened the door for him the moment he arrived, Hoseok sprinted with all his might up the stairs to hopefully reach your apartment before Jessica does.

Please be okay. Please be okay. Please Y/N.


“Jessica. What.. What are you doing here?” You confusingly asked.

Maybe it was the sudden sight of Jessica standing in front of you that gave your chills, or it was the cold emotionless smirk that she was giving that sent endless chills throughout your body.

Seconds passed as you stood by the door, and yet she still wasn’t saying anything. Just as you were about to close the door, you heard Jessica quietly whisper,

“What do you have that I don’t?”

“Pardon?” You asked in confusion.

It was just then you saw Jessica pull out a small pocket knife from her back pocket, but before you even had the chance to react, you heard someone down the hallway call for you, and then everything onwards just seemed like a blur. One minute you were about to scream for your dear life when you saw the knife quickly approach your face, and then suddenly you see Hoseok running from afar and pull Jessica away. Before you knew it, Hoseok was holding Jessica down on the ground, with the knife far far away from her grasp.

“Call security.” Hoseok shouted as you stood in complete shock.

“Y/N. Love. Security. Call them.” He said again.

It took you a couple of seconds before you finally felt your legs start to move again. Once security said that they were on their way, you stared in complete shock as Jessica was struggling under Hoseok’s grip.

“Why her Hoseok. Why?” Jessica shouted.

“I told you, Y/N has nothing to do with this. Why can’t you understand that?” He shouted.

“What’s going on…?” You quietly asked.

“You fucking bitch. You’re the one that’s in the way. He doesn’t love you why don’t you understand that. Why do you still have to be in the way of everything? Why? WHY? Hoseok? Why her?” Jessica shouted.

You stood by the door in complete horror as you watched Jessica scream every possible insult, but yet none of them seemed to have caused an effect in any way.

Just like promised, the security came and took Jessica with them. As the security and Jessica were leaving, she turned around and gave you one of the coldest stare that you had ever seen, and said,

“What I can’t have, neither can you.”

And with that, she and the security left you and Hoseok in complete silence.

You stared blankly at Hoseok, as you felt the adrenaline and fear run through your body.

What does she mean? Does that mean she’ll come back? What if Hoseok wasn’t here today? Was she going to… kill me?

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asked as he approached you.

Still being in complete fear, you flinched when you felt Hoseok’s touch.

Noting your sudden rigid movement, Hoseok quietly said,

“It’s okay Y/N. You’re not going to get hurt now. She’s gone.”

Finally staring into his eyes, you saw the sincerity and love that you had missed so much, and suddenly felt the urge to cry after all that had happened today.

Just as the tears were welling up in your eyes, you noticed a large gash on the side of Hoseok’s arm. Grabbing his arm you heard him wince.

“You got hurt.” You gasped.

“It’s fine. It’s nothing. Are you okay?” He asked.

“For fucks sake Hoseok, you’re bleeding and you’re asking if I’m okay? Sit down, I’ll go get the first aid kit.” You said as you pushed Hoseok down to the couch.

Ignoring the endless amount of protest coming out of his mouth, you ran to your room to retrieve the first aid kit before sprinting back to the living room, where you saw Hoseok talking on his phone.

As you approached him, you heard what seemed like him talking to his manager.

“Hyung.. just drop the rest of the guys over first. I’ll be right now. Help me apologize to the staff first, then I’ll go apologize again. I’m sorry. I leave now-“

Before he could finish his sentence, you snatched the phone out of his hand and said,

“Hello oppa. It’s me Y/N. Can you please come pick Hoseok up after you’ve dropped the rest of the guys? Oppa is hurt. He needs to go see a doctor. He won’t be able to make it to the next schedule. I’m so sorry.”

After getting the manager’s approval, you thanked him and ended the call.

“Really Y/N? I have a music show to go to.”

“Seriously? You think that you can go to a music show with a huge gash on your arm? If the fans see you like this, they’re going to be worried. The least you can do is get treatment for it okay?”

Letting out a sigh, you knew that Hoseok wouldn’t be able to talk you down, he rarely could.

“I can’t say no, can I?” He sighed.

“Nope.” You smiled as you opened the first aid kit and took out the disinfecting wipes to clear the gash.

You felt your heart clench, as you heard Hoseok wince from the pain.

“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” You apologized.

“Y/N…”

Giving him an apologetic smile, you took out the medicated ointment and applied some one his arm.

“I’ll put a bandaid over it when your manager gets here. We should let it breathe some more.” You said as you cleaned up.

“Thank you Y/N.” He thanked.

“It’s the least I can do..” You sighed as you went to throw the garbage out.

Checking his phone, Hoseok said,

“Hyung said that he just dropped off the members and that he’ll be here in half an hour.”

“Okay. That’s fine.” You shrugged.

“Come sit down.” He said patting the seat next to him.

When the two of you were together, you would have either gladly sat in Hoseok’s lap or stuck beside him like glue, but now you found you’re awkwardly sitting at least an arms length away from him.

“So now what is going to happen?” He asked.

Not knowing what he meant, you gave him a confused look.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“With reporters crowding the dorm’s door, how are you going to get to your schedules?”

“I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to have to go anymore. The company is probably going to tell me to lay low for a while for everything to simmer down. I regret everything that I did today. I should have stopped myself. God. I’m so stupid. Right now is such an important time for our group and yet I fucked it up by not keeping my own mouth shut.” You sighed.

“Don’t stress too much about it. I’m sure everything will be fine in the end.” He said as he gave your hand a reassuring grip.

You flinched at the sudden contact with him before pulling your hand away from him. Noticing your reaction, Hoseok felt his heart suddenly sink. He hated this just as much as you did, but he didn’t know what else he could do besides take in all your features, because when will he be able to be this close to you again?

“You’ve gotten a lot skinnier.” He pointed out.

Staring at your limbs, you shrugged and said,

“I guess. Maybe a little.”

“Are you skipping meals?”

“I mean.. you know how hard it is to lose weight..” You sighed.

“Y/N…”

Feeling like you were being treated like a little child, you changed the topic and asked how their comeback is going so far.

“I really love the song that we’re performing this time. The lyrics really mean a lot to me.”

You wanted to praise him and say how much you’ve enjoyed the song and that you even cried after watching the music video, but the thick awkwardness in the air made it impossible to do anything other than giving him a nod.

Minutes went by with the two of you sitting in complete silence, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.

You wanted to tell him that you missed him.

You wanted to tell him that you still love him.

You wanted to show how much you appreciated him.

You wanted to tell him how hard of a time you were having before the debut.

You wanted to go back to normal.

But.. as naive as you were, a part of you knew that there was never going to be a future for the two of you.

How can you when the whole world will practically be watching the two of you up close?

How can anyone guarantee that feelings won’t just change?

How can anyone guarantee that the two of you will have a happy ending?

No one can.

Finally breaking the silence, Hoseok said,

“I hate this. I hate how we don’t talk anymore. I hate how even though we love each other we can’t be together. I hate how there’s no other way for us to be together. I hate how I can’t forget you. I hate myself for doing this to us.”

Finally staring into his eyes, you saw a glimpse of sadness and anger in his eyes before tears started to blind his vision.

“Aw baby. Don’t cry.” You said as you went to wipe his tears.

Letting out a slight sad chuckle, Hoseok said,

“I missed being called that. Hoseok just sounds so formal. So…. unlike you.”

“I… I miss a lot of things that had happened to us. I miss us. I miss what we had. God. I miss everything. But most importantly, I’ve missed you so so much. Don’t blame yourself for that you’ve done. You were doing it for my own good. I should have known then instead of yelling at you. I was so selfish for thinking only about myself. I will forever love you Hoseok. I.. I think I actually always will. Whether there really is a future for us or not, I’m not going to force anything.  I won’t force myself to forget about us, because to me, we were the most beautiful thing ever. I’ve been through so many emotions because of us, and I loved everyone of them. The memories of us is what keeps me going, and I would not change a single thing. You are the most important person to me, I don’t want you to hurt because of us. I want you to be truly happy. Oppa.. I want to see you truly smile again.”

You didn’t know how or when, but you suddenly felt tears fall down your face, as Hoseok started crying himself.

“But Y/N… five years.. would we still be the same five years from now? Will you still love me? I don’t know anymore. Will you come running back to me five years from now?” He asked.

“Oppa… if we’re meant to be.. I promise you, we’ll find each other one way or another. If not.. I just want you to know that I will always, always love you. You will always have a part of my heart that I will never be willing to give away. Remember that.” You whispered as you wiped his tears.

“Y/N… I don’t want to lose you.. Please. I.. I don’t know what to do. I know the right thing is to let you go, but I can’t do it even though I was the one who broke us up. God. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like everything is my fault. I broke your heart by breaking us up, and having Jessica come find and try to hurt you is also my fault. Fuck. I bring nothing but pain to you. I’m so so sorry.” He weeped as he pulled you into a tight hug.

The two of you spent minutes just embracing and comforting each other, until Hoseok’s phone broke the comforting silence.

After the call ended, he told you that his manager had arrived.

“I should get going now.” He slightly smiled, but you saw that it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Oh.. Okay.” You quietly said.

Maybe it was because the two of you had came to a mutual decision that the break up was for the best, that you felt slightly saddened. Sure, you knew that this was only for the best, but you found saying goodbye the hardest, especially if that meant facing the fact that the two of you are indeed over.

You watched as he reluctantly started to head out the door, while you lowered your head to hide the tears that are once again threatening to fall.

Before opening the door, Hoseok turned around and said,

“I uh… thanks for everything. I really mean it. I know you and your group are going to be big real soon. Me and the other members will be supporting you guys throughout the whole way. Be happy okay?”

The lump in your throat made it impossible to speak, so instead you nodded while still keeping your gaze on the floor.

“Y/N?” Hoseok asked when he noticed that you were avoiding his stare.

“Y-Yeah?” You quietly squeaked.

“Y/N.. look at me.” He whispered as he placed both his hands on either side of your cheeks before tilting your head up.

The moment your eyes met his, the two of you saw how big of a crying mess each of you were.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. I promise you, if in five years you still want me, I’ll be waiting for you. I promise. Don’t cry for me anymore okay? I love you. I always will I promise.” He whispered.

You bit your lips in hopes of calming your sobs, before you slowly nodded.

“I know I just said it, but I really mean it. I love you. I love you Y/N so fucking much. Don’t forget that okay? We’ll be back together in no time.” He smiled.

Giving him a slight smile, you nodded and pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you for today. Really. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” You mumbled into his chest.

A wave of nostalgia suddenly filled the air, when Hoseok said,

“Baby you’ll never have to know.”

You remembered months ago, Hoseok had said the exact same words to you. Months ago you would have taken his word for it without a doubt, but being in the state that the two of you are in, you only gave him a weak smile.

“So.. I’m going to go now.” He said.

“Oh right. Yeah. Let me go get a bandage to cover the cut first.” You sniffed as you searched for the first aid kit.

Hoseok pulled out his arm as you carefully placed the bandage over the cut.

“It’s going to leave a scar.” You sighed.

“Well.. I guess whenever I see it, I’ll be thinking about you.” He chuckled.

You knew that he was trying to lighten the mood, but you couldn’t help but feel more and more guilty as you continued to stare at the now bandaged cut.

“How could she do such a thing…” You whispered.

“Y/N… Don’t worry about it. None of this is your fault. Jessica.. is.. she’s a very very scary and dangerous person, but I promise you, I’ll do anything and everything to protect you. I’ll make sure she won’t get anywhere near you.” He said as he tightly gripped onto your hand.

Feeling overwhelmed by the amount of physical contact, you quickly pulled your hand out of his.

You were scared. Terrified even. Although you only got a glimpse of Jessica today, you were worried as to what she would do next. You knew, from what Hoseok has told you before, that if Jessica wants something, she will do everything that she can to get it. But if Jessica can’t have something, she won’t let anyone else. Just like now, you were certain that Jessica would come back, and for one reason only, Hoseok. You just don’t know when.

“I.. I think you should get going. Your manager is probably going to get worried.”

“Oh. Right. Right.. Okay I’ll get going.” He smiled.

Giving Hoseok a subtle wave, just as he was about to open the door, he turned around and said,

“Whatever you do Y/N, don’t answer any of Jessica’s text messages. If she does text you, call me. Or…. uh.. if you can’t, call you manager. Never leave by yourself. Okay?”

“Got it.”

“I…. I’m going to miss you.” He quietly said.

“Me too.” You confessed.

It took all the willpower in you to not pull him into a hug. You want to. God. You wanted to so badly, but how could you? It would only make it harder for the two of you.

“You should get going…”

“Right… Right Yeah. I’ll go.” He sighed.

After unlocking the door, Hoseok turned around once more to see you staring at him with saddened eyes. He hated that there was nothing that he could do. He wanted just as badly to hold you and love you, but just like you, he knew that it only make the two of you hurt even more.

Before walking out, Hoseok gave you his signature sweet smile and said,

“I love you Y/N. I really really do.”

Blinking the tears away, you whispered,

“I love you too.”

With that Hoseok heavy-heartedly closed the door, and quickly made his way down to the parking lot. He hoped for nothing more then for the next five years will come by in a blink of an eye, and that you would willingly run back into his arms.

Please. Y/N. Tell me you’ll still want me years from now. Tell me you’ll wait for me. Tell me you’ll still love me.


One Week Later

Today finally marks a week since the Jessica incident.

Today also marks the day that you can finally promote with the group again. After multiple meetings, the company came to the decision to give you a week off to hide from the media, especially after they found out about Jessica.

Today is the day that you finally head back to the city after spending the last week at your parent’s house.

“Be careful when you get back Y/N.” Your mom worriedly said as you brought your bags into the car.

“I will mom I promise.” You smiled.

“You sure you don’t need your dad to drive you? It’s going to take at least an hour to drive. Are you sure you can handle it?” She asked.

“Yes mom.. I’ll be fine. My driving skills aren’t that bad. Don’t worry mom.” You said as you hauled your last bag into the car.

“Y/N?” Your mom quietly asked.

“Hm?”

“Is she still messaging you?”

Giving her a confused look, you asked,

“She as in… who?”

“The girl who came up to your dorm.”

“Oh.. no mom. She hasn’t. I’m sure everything is all settled down. Don’t worry about it anymore mom.” You lied.

Technically you weren’t completely lying. On the first couple of days, you still received a couple of text messages from her saying that she was going to get you back, but you paid no attention to it, nor did you tell anyone about it, since eventually the messages stopped. Strangely you had gotten a few phone calls from different unknown numbers, but you never did pay any attention to them, since they were probably all advertisement.

“Good. Good. Be careful of her.”

“I know mom I will.” You smiled.

“Okay.. well get going. I’d rather you start driving now and slowly get there.” Your dad said.

“Yeah. I’ll go now. Don’t worry about me okay? I’ll call the two of you when I get back.” You smiled before giving each of your parents a big hug.

To your surprise, your dad was reluctant to let you go.

“Dad? Are you okay?” You asked as he still had his arms around you.

“Be careful Y/N. If anything seems wrong, remember to call us.” He said.

“I promise dad.” You said into his chest.

After giving a nod, your dad finally broke the hug, and gave you a tight smile. You know your parents are worried about you, even you’re worried for yourself. As much as you hope, you were certain that Jessica wouldn’t just leave you like this, not when she told you that she would be back, but you didn’t want to show how terrified you were towards your parents because that would only worry them even more.

After giving them one last wave, you got into the car and quickly started to head back.

A few minutes into the drive, you got a call from Hoseok, frowning at the phone call, it was the first time in a week that he has spoken to you, and you wonder what for.

“Hello?” You answered as you put the call on speaker.

“Y/N! Are you heading back to Seoul right now?” He asked.

“Yeah. I just left my parent’s house. Why?”

“Shit. Y/N. Is there a way you can head back to your home right now and get your manager to drive you back?” He asked.

“What? No. I have a schedule in a few hours, I have to make it to that one. Why? What’s wrong?”

“Fuck.” He mumbled to himself.

“Why? What’s wrong?” You panicked.

“Has Jessica called you lately?”

“No? She hasn’t texted me or called me in the last couple of days.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. That’s it.” You lied.

“Y/N I know you. You’re hiding something from me. What is it?”

“It’s just…. I’ve been getting phone calls from other unknown numbers. It’s not just one this time. But I highly doubt it’s her, why would she get into the trouble of getting multiple phones or sim cards just to call me?” You nervously said.

She wouldn’t right?

With your mind drifting off about Jessica, you didn’t notice that you had loosened your grip on the steering wheel causing the car to swerve to the right, until the car beside your honked.

“Shit.” You said as you straightened the car back into the lane.

“What? What happened?”

“Fuck. Nothing. I’m driving right now and you’re distracting me. I have to go right now. Bye.” You said before you hung up.

For the rest of the drive, you tried your best to concentrate on the road. Although the drive took a little longer, you finally arrived to the underground parking lot. After telling your manager that you had arrived, you got out of the car and headed to the trunk to unload when you phone started to ring. Assuming it was your manager, you didn’t bother to check the caller id, and answered,

“I’m unpacking right now.”

You felt chills suddenly run through your body, when Jessica’s voice came through the other end of the phone.

“I know.”

“Jessica?” You gasped as you turned around to find her, but she was no where to be seen.

“I told you to get the fuck away from him.” She said.

“J-Jessica.. if you’re still talking about Hoseok, we’re not dating. Have.. Have him.. if you want.” You stuttered.

Dammit Y/N… get it together.

“He doesn’t want me. He.. He told me that he doesn’t love me. He loves you.”

“Jessica I-“

“Shut up! It’s my turn to talk. Do you know how long it took me to find you? Do you know how long it took for me wait for you to come back?” She sickeningly laughed.

Feeling all the blood rush out of your face, you were completely terrified. You were certain that she was somewhere in the parking lot, but just where?

“Jessica? Why don’t we talk another day okay? Maybe when you’re calmer?” You asked.

“Calm? I’m very calm. Yes. I’m very very calm.” She repeated.

Looking at your phone, your quickly sent a text message to your manager telling him to come get you quickly.

“I told you before, what I can’t have, neither can you.” She quietly said.

“I don’t want Hoseok you can have him. Okay? Does that sound good?” You asked as you continued to look around in hopes of finding her, but she was no where to be seen.

“If you’re trying to look for me, you won’t be able to. I’m far far far away.” She slightly chuckled.

“Jessica.. why are you calling me?” You quietly asked.

“I wanted to ask you for the last time to leave Hoseok. Leave him alone Y/N, then I’ll promise you that I won’t do anything.”

“What.. are you planning on doing?”

“You don’t want to know. There’s no surprise if I tell you right now.” She sighed.

“Jessica… I told you before how he feels about me or you is not something I can control. So please.. just leave me alone. You already hurt Hoseok last time. If you loved him at all you would stop right now.”

“I.. I hurt him?”

“When he was trying to knock the knife out of your hand, you slashed him with it. You hurt the one that you care and love the most. Don’t you think that you’ve done enough harm?” You asked.

“I…. I hurt him?”

“Jessica. I really do have to go, maybe we can talk another day?”

Just as you were about to hand up, Jessica shouted,

“NO! I wasn’t the one who hurt him, you were. If you would have just left him like I told you to, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. You should have. You should have been the one! You bitch!” She shouted.

Suddenly you heard tires screech in the parking lot, as you turned to the sound, a blast of bright light blinded your eyes, and before you knew it, a sudden heavy weight crush right into you causing you to land harshly onto the floor, leaving you in endless pain, until suddenly everything went black and you felt your body go cold.

“Y/N! Baby.. Y/N! Y/N! Please wake up. Please!” You heard Hoseok shout out of nowhere.

But it was too late, you had already lost consciousness.

Promises to Keep (Ch. 2) | Zen/Hyun Ryu x Reader

Rating: Teen
Genre: Angst | Fluff
Summary: You have your first major fight with Zen. Overcome with emotion, you decide that the two of you need some space from each other.

[PREVIOUS]

“I’m home,” Zen called out, heaving a tired sigh as he took off his shoes and coat at the doorway. It was a long day at work; the argument that the two of you had in the morning had weighed heavily on his mind throughout the day, affecting his performance at rehearsal. When Zen was greeted with nothing but silence, he frowned. Were you still upset at him?

Keep reading

A few things I learned as an INFJ*

* an unhealthy one, but hopefully all INFJs can take something from my experiences.

Before I say more,

A note to INFJs (and all types too but especially INFJs): you should not be fitting the stereotype

INFJ stereotypes. We all know what they are. Psychic. Just ~knowing~ what’s wrong with you. Amazing analytical skillz. Staring into your soul, you are defenseless before me. Amazing selfless love. BASICALLY JESUS. And I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 22 it was one of the scariest things about being an INFJ when I first took the (terrible) online test. It took me years to accept the fact that I was an INFJ, and I constantly second-guessed myself every step of the way. Because, let’s be honest. Not all of us have amazing selfless love and the urge to show up at your house with ice-cream when you’re sad (but it’s there, in our Fe — we probably haven’t uncovered it/tried it out yet. Or, y’know, you could just consult our enneagram for more on what drives us to do what we do). 

So what makes one an INFJ? Simple. Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. Don’t come at me with your Introvert-iNtuitive-Feeling-Judging theories, please. By doing that, you are saying that “Feelers” can’t be “Thinkers”, “Judgers” can’t be “Perceivers”, etc. and you don’t want that, do you? Because there’s no such thing. Every human is a complex mix of intuition, sensing, thinking, and feeling — it’s just how their functions are stacked (by order of which ones each type uses more) and whether they’re introverted and extroverted. 

So no, an INFJ may not be outwardly caring and huggy. But they probably forcefully defend you when people talk about you behind your back. They may not gush about how great you are constantly. But it’s very likely that they care very much that you feel loved, in a quieter way that does nothing to affect the intensity of their Ni-Fe. If you know an INFJ who’s constantly snapping at others, consider what they’re snapping about. Is the other person being a self-righteous prick who dismisses others without taking time to understand them? There you have it. 

In short, abandon the stereotypes and ask yourself, “Do I use dominant Ni, auxiliary Fe, tertiary Ti, and inferior Se?” That way, you can be a selfish INFJ and still be one. Because even if you’re not using your functions in the healthy way, you’re still using them. EPIPHANY! (Yeah, I know.)

This point is long enough without me going deeper into the functions, so please read up on your own in order to understand the following points (I highly recommend funkymbtifiction, sillymbti, and mbtireallife for relatively easy-to-understand posts explaining the basics).

1. Please, please utilise your Se

INFJs, don’t fear the Se. It’s like the best friend that holds your hair back for you when you’re nauseous and hungover, and if you work with it, it could even prevent you from getting drunk in the first place. What I mean is, don’t get too stuck in your head. There’s a real world outside, and sometimes it’s not as complex and broken as you think it is! (At least, not in the moment you’re in.)

Whenever I feel overwhelmed from too much thinking, I go into the kitchen and wipe the dishes dry. These are my rules: no distractions, no music, no talking to anybody, nothing that can prompt me to start analysing, abstracting, or empathising. Just wipe each plate, feel the fibres of the cloth on the pads of your fingertips, focus on getting the water off thoroughly, stack everything neatly, bring it to the cupboard, and put it in. Breathe in, breathe out. Feel your chest expand with each breath. Be in the moment and use all your senses. I chose something completely mundane to remind myself that I can’t be focusing on abstract humanitarian goals every second of the day.

Eating something? Focus on the taste, the texture. Don’t think about how “this is a waste of time” and that you could be doing something “more profitable.” Taking care of your body is IMPORTANT. Don’t tell yourself to “make up for lost time” by Ti-ing during meals too. Talk to whoever you’re eating with. Savour the food. Take some goddamn photos of it. Don’t edit those photos/post them on Instagram until later when you know you’ve used enough healthy Se to balance out your Ni. (Because thinking about aesthetics, trying to find a filter that looks like [insert artistic term here] and [artistic term here] while achieving [unique way of evoking emotion], and inwardly debating the benefits and downfalls of Instagram aka The App That Shows Skewed Realities is NOT going to help you enjoy your food and you’re probably going to eat too fast and end up with indigestion later. And no, don’t brush that off as a small thing. You need to respect your body, not mistreat it.)

Taking a shower? Enjoy the water on your skin. Running errands? Savour the fresh air in between stops and the fact that you can walk. (Walking is so cool. Think about it. Walking. Taking steps with your feet. Amazing!)

3. Watch out for the dangerous Ni-Ti function loop

Awhile ago I felt myself entering that spiral of forever analysing and shooting down my intuition and thought that it wasn’t a big deal and that I could pull myself out whenever I wanted. I now spend most of my days depressed and my nights crying in a corner of my room because there are too many huge questions I’ve dug up and don’t know how to answer. If this is a door you can close and step away from, for your own sake, do it. But if it’s a gaping hole you couldn’t avoid and are now falling through, please don’t blame yourself. We’re all human and we’ve all got bruised knees (and much worse) from falling too many times to count. Breathe, it’s okay. Don’t even think about getting yourself out yet. Just accept that this is a part of you and that that’s alright. Self-hate only makes the pit deeper.

4. It’s okay to not like something someone else made

Recognise it’s your Fe and tell yourself that you can and must have your own opinion, regardless of how hard it is to imagine that person hurt that you didn’t actually like what they did. (And for all you know, it might be your Ni coming to wrong conclusions about that person’s reaction. It’s possible they may not mind. Poke your head out of your dominant function, use your Se, and judge — carefully and delicately, of course — accordingly. But don’t be so quick to assume everyone is super fragile and very easily hurt, because I’ve found this a foolproof trigger for activating my function loop. Some people, believe it or not, aren’t so easily hurt. I know, it took me forever to accept that.)

As an INFJ, I know the urge to forever be just the right type of kind and supportive to everyone who crosses my path, but I learned the hard way that sometimes I do actually have an opinion that differs and that is OKAY. To disregard that is the equivalent of stepping on yourself again and again. It’s okay to respect yourself. You should respect yourself. Don’t hate yourself for feeling something other than what you think you should feel, because you are a human, not a robot programmed to be just the right sort of caring (basically, you are not Baymax).

5. It’s okay to like something just because you like it

Not everything you like has to be deep and meaningful. I know, we INFJs do this unconsciously because we’re constantly, genuinely searching for meaning and not because we want to appear ~pretentious~ and ~deep~. But some things in life are meant to be enjoyed simply and not so thoughtfully. Because if you don’t see that, you’ll be severely limiting yourself and seeing life as full of gigantic problems and suffering people —  when it is possible for little things like ice cream on a windy day and dancing to a song with four chords to exist in the same world (and they do).

6. Your Si is at the bottom of your eight functions for a reason

I’m not quite sure what to think about shadow functions yet, but they were right in calling Si an INFJ’s last, Devilish function. Constantly looking back is not going to help an INFJ in emotional crisis mode. My mum is an Si-dom, so I grew up being taught how to measure my decisions based on the results of every single past mistake. Whenever I use this function, it completely derails me. It does not go well with Ni, because how can you be intuitive and constantly second-guessing yourself from past experiences at the same time? C’mon. Don’t do this to yourself. It’s all well and good to learn from history (INFJs getting too caught up in ideals and not accessing their logic is unspeakably dangerous too), but this is not your dominant function. Heck, it’s not even in your primary function stack.

Looking ahead and not getting caught up in the past is good advice for just about any type (even Si-doms), but INFJs in particular are dominantly future oriented, so trying to use a function that goes against their very core is… questionable, at best. You could say that you’re just “trying to be prepared” in case someone asks (always having to answer to my mum made me no stranger to utilising Si), but don’t play around with this. I’m not kidding when I say it can derail you. INFJs — know when to go back to past experiences, but also know that some memories really are best left behind. If you’re not careful, you’ll get stuck in a rut of painful remembrances while your true nature struggles to turn its perspective to the future. 

Example: breakups. INFJs are known for being able to move on faster because of their Ni. If you are one of those, don’t fight it. Don’t ask yourself, “Why aren’t I remembering details about them and crying?” Get the hell out of there and don’t look back. If you try and make the Si come out, it will. And heaven help you then.

So yeah. Thanks for reading. I don’t know why I felt the need to type all this out, but I woke up this morning and realised there were some very important lessons I learned just from knowing my type and my function stack. There might be more, I don’t know. But for now, I think I’ve rambled long enough and made you guys scroll a little too many times :x

And if anything I wrote offended anyone due to my ignorance, please accept my apologies and understand that I would never want to hurt or trigger you in any way. (And please refrain from writing me angry messages, because as you can see, I’m barely picking up the pieces of my life. Please be kind. I hope it’s not too much to ask for.)

DEAR AROHA - I LOVE YOU ALL A LOT

To all the people I’ve gotten to meet through mutual love for ASTRO, whether you screamed at me once on anon about the boys, reblogged one of my posts with tags, followed me back and now we’re mutuals, literally talked to me ever about astro, or even just looked at my blog: thank you. It’s because of the AROHA I’ve met that loving ASTRO is so easy, so fun, and so rewarding.

warning: there is going to be a lot of words below so idk

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anonymous asked:

What career advice do you have for recent graduates, especially women?

This is a really tough question, anon. I actually brought this up over Memorial Day weekend with my friends when we were reapplying lipstick in between rounds of heavy drinking at the Nats-Phillies game. 

The question of post-collegiate advice is daunting, because surely you’ve already heard from every Tom, Dick and Harry who are well-meaning but pulling from a pool of professional information that is at least 35 years out of use, or overly optimistic and misguided people telling you to follow your heart (and yes, I truly believe that’s misguided). So I guess I will attempt to give you in broad strokes what I wish I had internalized earlier, when I was a bit younger, and hope that you come out of your twenties a little less bruised than I found myself. 

I think the first thing to know is that you are right, your suspicions are true: it is really hard out here. It is harder than your parents had it; it is harder than your grandparents had it. Boomers now who are looking down their noses at Millennials and throwing around words like “entitlement” and “impatience” are out of touch at best and cultivating active ignorance at worst. Their belief that everybody should eat shit and get hazed for the first years of their career is rooted in a work infrastructure that rewarded this sort of torture with security and guaranteed benefits and advancement. I, too, would put up with endemic bullshit if I knew it was just for a few years, and then I would be locked into an upward trajectory with more or less guaranteed raises and advancement. This hasn’t been the professional landscape since the 90s – maybe the 80s. Your unwillingness to be treated like garbage is not a character flaw.

That said, your other suspicion is true as well: you probably need to work harder. There are a lot of extenuating circumstances here (are you rich? do you have connections? are you in a field that’s gasping for employees and willing to hurl money at them? did you major in English? are you considering law school? don’t go to law school, seriously), but for most of us, because we aren’t rich and don’t have connections and may not be in fields that are gasping for employees and willing to hurl money at them – the difference for you and me? It’s who is willing to work their fucking ass off. 

My first three years out of college were fucking terrible. I got an incredible opportunity, and I don’t know if I fully rose to the challenge, but I tried my hardest. That meant stupid hours and 3 a.m. phone calls; years of being friends with people who got used to me bailing on weekend adventures and dates and dinners to go back to the office for fuck knows what reason. It was objectively terrible, and I in no way endorse it – I don’t think that anybody should threat their junior employees the way I was treated. I would never do that to a new hire or an intern or a rented mule for that matter. 

But the takeaway is that I rocked up to New York on the slimmest of odds, and based mostly on stubbornness, a good dash of luck, and the knowledge that I wasn’t the smartest, but I would kill myself trying to be, I did okay. There are less dramatic versions of this that people should aspire to live each day, because the ugly truth of the thing is this:

In the marketplace of employees, all the abstract things that you have discussed and enumerated and angrily reblogged – prejudice, capitalism, sexism, racism – they’re all there. But you still have to operate within the system because you have to pay your rent and buy food. The way to do this is the way I think immigrants have been telling their kids to do this for generations now: push all that other shit out of the way, fight the urge to feel sorry for yourself, and work as hard as you fucking can. Of course it’s unfair, of course it’s fucking maddening. But you are only going to be in a position to change it or make it better if you make it, period, and opting out or waffling isn’t going to put you in that role.

Whenever I feel like I can’t do it or it’s too hard, I think about my father. My father and I don’t get along; we love each other but we don’t like each other, and it took us putting continents and oceans between us before we learned how to be comfortable in our relationship. But my father was among the Sent-down youth of China, part of the country’s lost generation of oldest sons and daughters ripped out of school in the mid-teens and dispatched to do hard manual labor in the fucking farms of China. He spent years out there, completely fucking alone and without any hope or idea of how he would ever get past this, if he would survive, how the hell he was going to get out of that hellhole – if he could even go home to Shanghai. He suffered untreated kidney infections and frostbite all over his hands. When the universities started to reopen, he sat out in haystacks under the moon with smuggled books of physics and calculus and taught himself with a basis of middle school math because he knew it was his only possibility for escape. He got into Fudan University in Shanghai, where he studied Chemistry because he thought it might help him get to America, and it did. Now, my folks live in California and have a lemon tree in their backyard, and when I was 23 and crying on the subway home, he would tell me I was working too hard and it would fill me with a crippling, bone-deep shame. 

However fucking hard I had it, however fucking tired or destroyed or depressed I was? I never came close to my dad. I never will. And whenever I got low and thought I wanted to quit I would remember where I came from and get mad: at myself for being such a fucking coward, at the situation, at the fact that even for a second I let these assholes beat me down. 

This is getting weird and wander-y, but I guess it boils down to this: you will feel shitty and tired and wronged, and all of it will probably be valid. But you also have to get past that and work your ass off – especially because you are not a middle or upper class white male – to get what you want. 

Because at the very end of it, you will have a job where you can pay your rent and buy food and maybe even have some left over for fun. 

But even better? If you’re very fortunate and work very hard, you might get to have a conversation like I get to have sometimes, where someone says to me, “Is it weird to have three black women in a row in this presentation?” and I get to say to them, “No. It’s a good thing we have three black women in a row. Would you ever ask me that about white men?” Or when I get to mentor young women at work, talk them off the ledge in the ladies room when they’re freaking out; send someone’s boss a note saying, “Hey, this kid you took a chance on is doing great.” Or hell, even the ugly stuff, like where I have to tell a phalanx of old white guys that they can’t say this shit and they have to listen to me, because thank God they have to listen to me and they can’t say that shit. 

At the end of it, best of all, the very luckiest ones of us are even be able to pay it forward a little. 

So Anon, who probably didn’t want this response at all, I wish you some good luck because everybody needs it, and I wish you fortitude to push through the rest. There’s a whole big world out there – kick it in the ass. 

moriyama yoshitaka, professional matchmaker supreme

because moriyama really should be paid for his services in getting kise and kasamatsu together, the oblivious idiots. // x-posted to ao3 here!

Moriyama has always thought that after graduation he’d pursue a perfectly sensible career, like teaching or accountancy or lion taming. It only occurs to him in the middle of his third year of high school that maybe being a professional matchmaker wouldn’t be too bad either.

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anonymous asked:

Could you explain what you mean by shutdown? I know that it might be difficult to explain to someone allistic, but I'd like to understand autistic traits better.

Sorry for being a little snippy here, but I do feel it’s important to voice my frustration when I initially received this message. Seeing as it was in the middle of a very bad shutdown, I was kinda’ pissed that I was expected to answer questions about it. Especially seeing as it’s a common term within the autistic community, and there are tons of autism blogs run by autistic people that are there specifically for answering questions like this. I’m not blaming you or anything, Anon, I just wanted to have my frustration be heard and gotten out of the way.

Now, what the hell’s a shutdown? I’m gonna’ get pretty in-depth here, as much as I can. Forgive any weird shit, I’m still regaining brain functioning.

Basically, autistic folk have different brains. They’re wired differently. A lot of things that are normal and not stressful at all, are super stressful to an autistic person. Like, I shutdown this time because I’d gone on a trip to visit family. Which involves a ton of socializing. Socializing is extremely stressful to me, because I don’t technically know how allistic conversation works, exactly. Instead, I have to be conscious of all the rules I’ve learned that govern allistic interaction. And a lot of guesswork. Pretty stressful. It’s like having to do long division in my head whenever someone says something to me.

So the autistic brain, when forced to perform to allistic standards, basically goes into a stress response thing. Like, everyone gets it, it’s the same stress response, but the stress you might get from being chased by lions or having to give a really big important speech or not knowing if you’ll be able to pay rent, is the same stress level I might get from, say, the tv being too loud (for me, which is a decent volume for other people), or the ambient noise/lighting in a restaurant, or having a conversation with someone.

And there are two ways that an autistic brain will tend to respond to this. Shutdown or meltdown. (Insert disclaimer here that not all autistic folk experience both, or either) Meltdown is the classic image of an autistic person throwing things, punching things, slamming doors, hitting themselves, biting themselves or other things, screaming, or crying. (all extremely satisfying, actually. Someone said once that it was a physical manifestation of how much the brain hurt. I like that description) The shutdown is when the brain stops working all together. I tend to mildly dissociate, sleep for extreme periods of time (12 hours mostly in one sitting, then various naps afterwards), have an extremely difficult time moving, have extremely disorganized thoughts, and generally just feel like I’ve been hit by a fucking train. Also, I’ve found, that I get urges to engage in harmful stims (self-stimulatory behaviour), which feeds into my theory that personally, my shutdowns are due to going past the point of meltdown by mildly dissociating so that I don’t behave “inappropriately” and therefore tire myself out further and just completely fuck myself over.

Another analogy that I find helps, though a lot of autistic folk personally don’t like it because of the subhuman connotation, is a comparison to a computer. Daily functioning on an allistic level, for me, is like running twenty different high-intensity programs on a really shitty computer. Like, a full version of photoshop, several intense games with maxed out graphics and settings, five internet browsers with 30 tabs open on each (coincidentally, the number of tabs I have open rn), five music players all blaring music, and three video players playing HD movies. While sitting in 100 degree weather. The poor computer is gonna’ overheat or something. But instead of actually doing anything, turning it off or reducing the number of programs, you just stick a fan and a bucket of ice under it. Then it shuts off with a blue screen of death, and somehow your system is fucked up and it takes forever to boot the computer back up. Again, reminder, the activities that cause this level of stress can include driving, going to the store, cleaning, having a conversation with someone, being in a room with a loud noise source (that allistic people don’t think is too loud at all), or with multiple quieter noise sources, cooking, or even just physical stuff like being hungry/thirsty, having to go to the bathroom, or strong emotions.

I hope this helps explain it in a way that’s understandable. I am still willing to answer further questions, it was just bad timing that I got this ask when my brain was barely functioning. Although also, for future reference, the tag actuallyautistic on tumblr (tumblr.com/tagged/actuallyautistic) is where autistic folk put their experiences. And while it’s not cool to post there if you’re allistic (meaning you aren’t even seriously questioning whether you may be autistic or not), it’s very cool to read what actually autistic people have to say about their experiences, and get more than one point of view. Plus, there are lots of blogs dedicated to answering these types of questions, if I’m ever unable to for any reason.

This little drabble is based on this post about a girl with a crush on a delivery guy. It’s dedicated to @deinde-prandium​ because she requested someone Everlark it, and she is a wonderful, fabulous person/beta/writer.


It started in October with the stupid brochure left underneath their stupid door by a stupid employee.

Johanna found the menu when she came home from a particularly brutal study session for organic chemistry with Katniss. She ripped the menu off the ground, read through it quickly, and then hugged it to her chest.

“What’s that?” Katniss asked.

“They opened an Insomnia Cookies a mile from our campus. Do you know what this means?” Johanna demanded with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Umm…”

“Cookies,” Johanna whispered. “Whenever we want.”

“The dining hall has cookies.”

“Yes, but the dining hall isn’t going to deliver two giant chocolate chip cookies with ice cream squashed in the middle at two am while we’re rocking back and forth, crying over our impending failure.”

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theorangemuttens-deactivated201  asked:

Any good Hartwin fanfictions please? ;)

I FEEL LIKE YOU MIGHT’VE ALREADY READ EVERYTHING I’M PUTTING ON THIS LIST SINCE but here are some of my favourites so far. C:


» Kingmaker by manic_intent [MULTI]

“Eggsy, I really don’t think-“ Merlin began, and stopped, because at that very moment, Eggsy walked right into a lamp post.

Across the street, at a sidewalk corner cafe, reading a paper, sandwich part-eaten on a plate, sleek, long legs crossed neatly under the table, was Harry Hart.

» into the wails of your windfight by fideliant [LONGSHOT]

It takes a mission gone wrong for Eggsy to find out that even in real life, the dead don’t always stay dead. Sometimes the movies get that part right, it would seem.

» Five Nights in Istanbul by velveteenshadowboxer [MULTI]

Some boundaries, he tells himself reluctantly, are established for a reason.

So he accepts that the affections are there, that the lust is there. But he’s not going to do a damn thing about it. And no amount of good-natured mockery from Merlin or anyone else is going to sway him.

Really.

(Or: the one in which Harry and Eggsy flirt a lot, fall in love, and do lots of sexy/violent spy stuff along the way.)

» 24 Hours by decotex [MULTI]

Eggsy has twenty-four hours with his mentor to prepare for the final Kingsmen test. He should probably spend these hours studying, resting, and above all, maintaining a respectful and professional relationship with Harry Hart.

Fortunately, it’s not that kind of movie.

» All the Way Down by Morbane [ONESHOT]

Harry and Eggsy go on a mission together. Eggsy improvises.

» The Long Game by Morbane [ONESHOT]

After Harry teaches Eggsy to make a martini. Missing scene with just a little extra UST.

» The Rainbow Connection by Della19 [SERIES]

From this prompt on tumblr by nikirari: “Harry x Eggsy soulmate au where you only see colour once you meet your soulmate (so you don’t know them until you see them).

And it goes away when they die.”

» Pretty Gentleman by Della19 [SERIES]

First rule of action movie logic; check the body. Because if you don’t check the body to make sure they’re really dead, then the rules of movie logic says you deserve the knife that ends up in your back when you turn around. A villain who was a little less squeamish of blood would have known that.

Valentine doesn’t check the body, and Harry lives. This, perhaps unsurprisingly, creates a whole new set of problems for Eggsy, whose got a few…ungentleman-like urges when it comes to his mentor. Or, the one where Eggsy doesn’t get to watch Pretty Woman until after he realizes he’s living it. Harry/Eggsy, Movie Fix-it.

» Whenever you look up there I shall be. by LadyEmrys [MULTI]

Watching the light spread in those heavy-lidded eyes, seeing the small twitch at the corner of his mouth - the only other physical sign he had strength enough to give - was more than enough to know for sure.
Eggsy was fucked.

» Unbreakable by LadyEmrys [ONESHOT]

Eggsy learnt that it was okay to cry.

» Progression of Things by j_gabrielle [ONESHOT]

People seem to get the wrong idea about Harry and Eggsy, but you won’t find much protest from Harry in that corner either.

» Find You by j_gabrielle [ONESHOT]

The 2 lives they led in universes that they could not be with each other, And the 1 that they could or, Reincarnation AU

» Unwitting Confessions of The Heart by j_gabrielle [ONESHOT]

Harry wakes up and it’s like he is shrugging off a million bricks weighing his chest down.

» Sync by cytheriafalas [ONESHOT]

From the prompt “those two are so in sync like drift compatible in sync n it’s funnycute at the office but frighteningly efficient in the field. Things explode people die england is safe n they’re back to being disgusting” on my tumblr.

» Handler by Galahard [LONGSHOT]

It seemed obvious to Eggsy that he’d be the next Galahad after he successfully offed Valentine. When an agent forces Merlin to stick to the test and refuses to let go of the fact that Eggsy didn’t pass, Eggsy finds himself in a different position at Kingsman than he’d originally planned.

» The Gentleman’s Guide to Heat by azrielen [ONESHOT]

Eggsy isn’t surprised by the fact that the Kingsman appear to be nearly all alphas.
 
Eggsy is an omega, then he’s a Kingsman, and no two heats are alike.

» without a noise, without my pride by eversincewefellapart [ONESHOT]

“You know, Harry,” Merlin says a moment later, “there are more safe and easy ways for you to tell Eggsy you love him that don’t include you having yet another hole blown in you.”

Or, four times Harry takes a bullet for Eggsy, and one time Eggsy takes a bullet for him.

Little Family - Calum Imagine

Requested: nop

Content Warning: non

Word Count: 1315 (yeah that’s right)

Author: Emi :3

Note: i had to add some few extra characters, if you guys don’t mind :)

Calum finds out your pregnant.

I stared at the sticks.

“Oh God.” I groaned as I threw them in the trash. This is going to change everything. My relationship with Calum will be tested like it never has been before. This is big. This is… I have to get some air.

I opened the door to my bathroom and saw Y/F/N sitting impatiently at the foot of our bed.

“So?” she asked me, anxiety showing at her face as she walked slowly over to me.

I shrugged nervously. “They’re all positive.”

Y/F/N smiled so big and gave a small cheer.

“Yes! This is awesome, Y/N! You are going to b–” she stopped. “What’s wrong? Is this not happy news?”

I shook my head and my lips trembled. Y/F/N quickly pulled me into a tight embrace as I sobbed on her shoulder, feeling her caressing my back once in a while. My heart was thumping so loud against my chest as I shivered with tears. My bestfriend trying her hardest to shush me and calm me down.

“Whatever the reason for your tears right now, I’m sure it’s all going to be fine. You’ve got a little person inside of you and you’re going to have a little family. No matter what I’ll be here to help, okay?” she cooed, making me smile a bit. When we broke away, she smiled.

I nodded and wiped my tears away. “I just don’t know what Cal would say. He’s at the prime of his career and…a child would be…”

“Now, stop that! You don’t know what he’s going to say. So I suggest you tell him soon.” my bestfriend told me. “It’s his child, Y/N. He deserves to know.”

I nodded again, “Okay. I’ll tell him tomorrow.” I said feeling a tinge of courage despite my bravery running low today.

What would Calum say?

******

“This is fantastic!”

I looked up at him with wide eyes.

“You mean, you’re not mad?” I asked, putting down my fork and forgetting all about our dinner in front of us. “You actually like the idea?”

Calum grinned. “I mean, there will be parts that suck but this is a big opportunity for us. Plus, you’ll be with me the whole time so don’t worry about a thing.”

He saw my anxious expression and sighed. Calum stood up from his chair and pulled me up so he can embrace me.

“It’s just a small trip to Australia and a few days in New Zealand. We’ll be back home before you know it.” he told me.

His band has to go on a trip to promote their new album and it’s really important. They can’t cancel it and Calum wants me there with him. But that’s not really why I’m anxious.

I haven’t told him about the child growing inside of me yet. And I get really stressed when I travel. Isn’t stress bad for the fetus? Oh God. I don’t know what to do. Should I tell him now?

“Uhmm…” I said, breaking away from his hug. “Cal? I have something to tell you.”

He looked at me and gestured for me to go on. His eyes travel down my lips and stayed there. I know that look.

“I’m listening.” His voice low, knowing full well he is not, as he pulled me closer to him, his lips placing small kisses on my temples.

“Cal…” I whispered. I can’t help it. His hands were on my back, lifting up the hem of my shirt.

“Hmm?” He was leaning down now, trailing the kisses towards my neck.

“Oh Calum.” I wanted him to stop and listen to me but he took my response as an urge to keep going. This man knows my body too well. My mind isn’t functioning anymore and my body is acting on its own. I hate it.

But…

…maybe I’ll tell him after we’re done.

Because right now, my body is being dominated by Calum.

And I don’t want to deprive myself with that. Don’t you agree?

******

CALUM’S POV

I was in such a good mood this morning. Probably because of the great night I had with Y/N. God. I love that woman so much. I intend to show her how much I do in every way possible.

“Oh look. Calum’s cheerful today.” Michael said, sitting next to me in one of the bar stools as he rolled his eyes. “Shocker.”

I ignored this remark and smiled at my friend anyway. “Why? What happened with you and your girlfriend?”

He shrugged. “We’re fine. It’s just that she’s spending too much time at the day care lately. I don’t know why she even goes there. We don’t even have a kid in that place.”

“Maybe that’s a hint for you that she wants to have kids. And soon.” I told him. Honestly, I’m only guessing over here.

“Kids? I’m only 23, Calum. I can’t have kids yet.” He said, taking a gulp of his beer with an obvious panicked look on his face. I almost felt sorry and regretted what I told him. He’s right. We are way too young to be fathers.

We were so young and reckless. That’s actually one of my fears. Losing my fun life and living boring domestic and empty lives. I like my life as it is now. I how we stay like this for a while. I’m happy with Y/N and I don’t like to change it.

That night when I was home, watching movies on the couch beside Y/N, I noticed how she’s not focusing on the movie like she always does. Whenever we watch movies together, she always ignore my attempts to cuddle because she’s always so invested in whatever we’re watching. But now, it seems like every move I make, she turns her head to look at me. Then shakes her head and sigh as she looks away.

For the 12th time she did it, I finally gave in.

“Okay. I’ve had enough.” I said, reaching over to grab the remote and turn off the TV.

“W-what?” She looked at me wide eyed.

I turned to look at her straight in the eyes. It always bothers me when Y/N is out of sorts. But it seems like tonight it’s extra bad.

“Are you feeling okay? Is something bothering you?” I asked her.

She looked at me and her eyes started to water. Shit. What’s happening?

“Oh no. No, Y/N. Please don’t cry.” I said, pulling her into my lap and eembracing her. I can feel her shake as she held me close ad sobbed into my shoulder. “I hate seeing you cry. Please tell me what’s wrong so I can kiss it away.”

I felt her shake her head. “It’s not gonna go away just like that, Cal.”

She pulled away and looked at me again. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears. I softened at the sight of them.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” I asked her again. I smiled encouragingly. “It probably isn’t that bad. It’s not like you’re carrying a baby right?” I chuckled.

But she looked at me as if I found out her secret. Which I did. Apparently.

“Oh god.” I said as I saw her stiffen and her lips tremble. “You’re pregnant?”

Slowly, she nodded and I did the stupidest thing known to man. I pushed her away from me and stood up, towering in front of her.

“How could you let this happen, Y/N? How could you be so dumb to let this happen?” I yelled out, each time pointing unconsiously to her stomach. “We’re way too young and I do not want to have kids with you.”

I blamed her.

As soon as it came out, I regretted every single thing I said. I looked at Y/N with panicked eyes compared to her obviously hurt ones. She was shivering and she looked so helpless.

Small whimpers escape her mouth as she jumped out of the couch and walked quickly into our room, locking the door behind her.

Oh no. I fucked up.

I was pissed at myself. Anger flooded through me and I couldn’t control myself. The vase of flowers was now on the floor, in pieces.

I hate myself.

-well there we go. you’re pregnant and calum is being a dick. check out our blog and request for stuff to read part 2 which will be posted asap. we appreciate our readers and we hope you like this one -Emi :3

anonymous asked:

You know, I love everything about that omega!Stiles gif post you reblogged but favorite part has got to be "his hygiene is poor" just because I can imagine dickwads running this trade venture want all of their Omegas to be all squeaky clean and perfectly shaven and looking like little twink angels and Stiles is like "FUCK THAT!" if someone is going to sell him to the highest bidder THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO WORK A LITTLE HARDER TO SLAP A PRICE ON HIS LILY WHITE ASS so he works hard every single 1/?

day to perfect his “I crawled out of a gutter” look, with the scraggliest facial hair and the bedhead that won’t quit and HAHA YES THESE ARE YESTERDAY’S CLOTHES THAT I ALSO SLEPT IN and whenever one of the hapless lackies tries to bathe and shave him he just causes a huge riot, screaming and sqwaking like something possessed and scaring the shit out of everyone around him, upsetting the entire bottom floor of Omegas who are driving the traders crazy now with screaming like yahoos and finally the head honcho gives up because one of his guys just got BITTEN trying to put shampoo in his hair and I’m not talking about a little nip I mean THERE’S A CHUNK MISSING FROM HIS ARM THAT THING IS RABID OK? 

And so Mr. Hale- who they have no idea is actually an FBI agent trying to discretely smuggle Omegas out while waiting on a warrant to take these assholes down- comes around and the leader is like OH NO because their reputation will be STAINED if one of their best clients sees… THAT. Imagine his shock when Derek is so very insistent on wanting the little ruffian, it’s like something out of Lady & The Tramp or some shit he swears, he gives Mr. Hale a discount as an “I warned you” type of deal and with the solemn swear that Derek will NEVER bring him back. 

Stiles tries the entire ride home to chew Derek’s ear off in the hopes of annoying him enough to be set free before Derek finally spills the truth to him, at this point he finally decides a bath is in order- among other things- and an hour later Derek is picking the dirt out of his hair looking like he just came back from a war and just.. “What did you DO to yourself?” so Stiles explains and if Derek wasn’t already head over heels he would be now because that’s… really smart… turns out Stiles is not only the son of a sheriff but also a private detective in his own right, he goes with Derek a month later to bust the creeps and none of them recognize him at first but when they do the leader actually cry, not because the jig is up, but because Stiles would have fetched SUCH a massive price tag if he had managed to get him looking all clean and spiffy like that and then Stiles starts talking and he decides… yeah… ok… the attitude would probably bump like a good couple of grand off the price but STILL SO MUCH. 

And incidentally someone kidnaps Derek for Alpha trading a few months later so he tries the same thing but it DOESN’T WORK because the harrier he gets the more people seem to like it? They think his “natural musky scent” is glorious and he looks good covered in sweat WHAT THE FUCK? Stiles obviously has to end up springing him after a few days but as he showers that night- scrubbing everywhere and everything and shaving more than he has in years- he relays this to Stiles and he laughs so hard he falls and hits his head on the sink, incidentally, Derek finds that he pushes people away by being meticulously clean and polite because he’s no longer a “badass” when he’s wearing sweater vests and calling people “Sir”. (Stiles laughs so hard he falls off the bed this time). 

(But you know what? Now I’m thinking about nerd!sub!Derek, who is so tired of being mistaken for a dom when he goes to clubs because apparently leather jackets and scruff = dom and he wastes most of his nights gently rejecting subs and trying to catch the attention of doms who don’t seem to get it, so one day he walks in trying so hard to look like a sub, his hair is perfectly groomed, wearing his geeky giant black-framed glasses and wearing khakis and a sweater vest over a button-up instead of his usual t-shirt, jeans, and leather jacket wear and HOLY GOD IT WORKS he’s talked to three doms in an hour this is great! He even catches STILES’ attention! (Because Stiles being a hotshot dom who everyone swoons over but who doesn’t play with just any sub and Derek being a newbie sub pining away for him is my favorite trope). 

And they flirt and exchange kink charts and Stiles is like “How come I’ve never seen you here before? You’re so perfect I wanna dom you so much but please tell me this isn’t your first time” and Derek awkwardly explains and Stiles almost drops his drink because HOLY CRAP “YOU’RE Derek? The mega hot dom I’ve been seriously considering switching for for a month?” and he quickly corrects himself “I mean .. wow yeah I shouldn’t have assumed that but I only ever saw you talking to subs…" 

And they both feel embarrassed and Stiles urges him to go back to what he was wearing before because that’s what makes him comfortable and Derek think that’s really sweet honestly and cuteness ensues, and it ultimately doesn’t even matter what he ends up wearing because Stiles collars him before long and Derek is the happiest sub EVER, this got long and ridiculous but two things for the price of one I guess? 

OOOOOO I AM ALL FOR BAMF!STILES. I also love fics where Stiles and Derek are crime partners- *cough* Castle and Beckett *cough- and work together and then have to save each other FOLLOWED BY DESPERATE I LOVE YOUS AND “WE JUST SURVIVED RUTTING” AGAINST THE JEEP BECAUSE THEY CAN’T WAIT TO GET HOME TO WORK OFF ALL THE FEAR AND ANXIETY THEY HAD BEEN FEELING AND ALL THAT STEREK JAZZ. 

I am also 100% here for sub!Derek in his leather jacket trying so hard to use his words and failing at every turn because all the subs in the club just want quit. (And maybe Derek really loves it when Stiles wears plaid and Derek shyly asking Stiles if he could scene with him in that red one he sometimes wears, perhaps rolling the sleeves up because Stiles has the most amazing forearms. They look good on their on, but in a plaid shirt with rolled up sleeves? Derek struggles not to get hard just thinking about it.) 

Infatuation (Jimin x OC) Part 6

A/N: It’s been a long time since I’ve posted, and I’m extremely sorry for the delay omg. But anyway, I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read Infatuation from beginning to end. I really hate to say this, but Infatuation is slowly coming to an end /sobs/ Anyway, thank you guys so much for the support. I hope you guys will look out for my new J-hope series too! Without further a do, here is part 6!

Parts: 01 | 02 | 03 Sneak Peak | 03 | 04 Sneak Peak | 04 | 05 Sneak Peak | 05 | 06 Sneak Peak | 06 | Epilogue


infatuation pt. 6


“S-Sungjae?”

The two of them were standing on the rooftop, his hands holding hers. The wind was grazing her bare skin, some strands of her hair carelessly swaying with it. He stared at her, hope in his eyes that made her only feel more guilty under his gaze.

“Please,” he whispered, reaching down to the crown that she had in her hands.

Eunji felt her head drop, she shut her eyes and wished for someone to wake her up from this nightmare. She didn’t want to hurt Sungjae’s feelings at all, she had no intentions of breaking his heart at all. But breaking his heart was the only way to move on.

She felt a tear fall out of her eye, “I-I’m sorry, Sungjae. I can’t do this.”

His hands fell from hers, and she winced at his sigh of frustration. She looked up to see him, his face showing a flash of hurt. She watched him as he tossed his mask to the side, running his hands through his brown locks angrily.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, backing away from him, wiping the tears that were beginning to stream down her cheeks without end. “I’m in love with someone else.”

Keep reading

His Home Life

Okay. So this is my first time putting any of my writing out for the public to see. I’d like to think I don’t suck, but I can’t really judge myself or there would be a sense of bias. Not saying I want to be judged. Anyway, this idea just popped into my head a few days ago. I typed it up and was somewhat happy with the result. If you don’t like it, try to be nice about it because I swear I’m only trying to become a better writer. So read or don’t read( I suggest you don’t if you don’t ship Riarkle). 

Keep reading

yatorivevo  asked:

15: Kiss in the Rain - Yatori ❤️

Kissing Meme #15 Kiss In The Rain 

Yesssss this just fits Yatori so well! And I’ve been writing tons of Yatori fics lately. I’m on a roll~ 

I have a headcanon that Hiyori’s tail (which represents her ties with Yato) will gradually fade because the more time she spends on the boarder line of the Near and Far Shore, the more of her humanity she will lose. So instead of cutting her tail, it becomes transparent, representing her dying humanity. So I’ve thrown that into the mix. 

I dunno, I’m just rolling with this idea I’m having. xD Anyway, hope you like it. :3 


A storm arrived a few minutes down the street Yato was trekking. Rain crumbled from above, the gusting wind carrying them in wild whirlwinds one moment and in diagonal sheets the next. It runs down his face as a thin layer, along with the tips of his mauve hair curling inwards and mingled together in knots. There was no point in combing his fingers through it, because no matter how many times he did that the curls sprang back to their original forms, and this was all due to her running away. 

Well, she didn’t run away as such. It started at Kofuku’s place, upon Hiyori’s arrival something didn’t feel right, she walked as if the life had been drained out of her, also whenever someone asked her if she was okay her gaze drifted afar. Yato especially didn’t like the way she was looking at him.

This has nothing to do with you!

Was the last thing that burned in his mind, Hiyori’s harsh words truly hurt him, but despite that he still went out of his way–adventured into an oncoming thunder storm just to look for her, out of pure concern. 

The icy sheets obscured Yato’s vision, when he eventually stopped he stood with the water running freely down his face and into his already soaked clothes. The flash river that ran down the street gushed over the tops of his leather shoes. Yato searched through the heavy downpour for any signs of a swishing pink tail. “Hiyori!” 

No answer. 

However through the mist created by the rain, an outline materialized from nothingness near a lamp post. The stray God squinted, the blurriness around his vision focused until he eventually could make out a person watching him. 

“Hiyori?” Somehow he knew in his heart that she was there. Standing still, the shadow stepped away from the misty wall that separated them, revealing the girl with the swishing tail. 

Relief flooded into Yato’s cheeks, although he noticed Hiyori didn’t hold the same expression, instead she looked haunted as if she had seen a ghost. 

“What’s wrong?” The God’s cheerfulness gradually dropped, and so did hers when he asked that question. 

Hiyori looked down at something on the floor, Yato followed her line of sight, attention falling on her tail. He felt his eyes widening, and his body ran cold with shivers despite the rain hammering on his back. Her tail that represented her ties with him, the link that bound the Near and Far Shore, it was see-through now as if being rubbed out by an eraser. 

It was disappearing. 

Which only meant one thing. 

“Is this why Tenjin wanted you to cut our ties? Am I…” By the sound of her voice he picked up a hint of dread, she was fighting back her urge to cry. “Am I going to disappear forever Yato?” 

That indeed was the case. If he didn’t cut their ties Hiyori’s very existence would vanish from time, and a few years in the future the world would forget Iki Hiyori, and so will he. 

How else was he going to tell her the truth? He never meant for it to come out like this, nor did he mean for her to discover it so soon. Yato held himself responsible. Because of his selfishness she would lose everything; family, friends, a life! All because he refused to cut their ties. 

“I’m so sorry,” his voice was barely above a whisper as he neared. Hiyori watched his every movement with those big sad eyes, they tormented him because they begged him to fix this, but the only way to fix it was to cut their ties right here and now. 

“So that’s it?” Hiyori exclaimed. “Your going to let me vanish instead of cutting our ties?” 

Yato stopped, looking at her in a hurtful way. “No, of course not.” 

“Then help me! I don’t want to disappear, I don’t want to be forgotten by my friends and family. My parents would be in a mess without me, I don’t want to put them through such trauma.” She tried composing herself but the tears had leaked out before she could realize it. In the midst of her speech Yato continued approaching her through the rain. “But most of all,” Hiyori squeaked, “I don’t want to be forgotten by you.”

His hands gripped both her shoulders, lowering his gaze to stare directly into her eyes. “Hiyori,” he pronounced her name in a low, gentle voice. For some reason he couldn’t stop his smile forming. It wasn’t a mocking smile but a caring type that told her everything was going to be okay. “How could I forget someone who gave me so much to remember?”  

A small smile of her own appeared, however her eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips, and for a second Yato felt confused by the expression on her face, looking as if she was conflicted between two things. He discovered the moment Hiyori tilts her head towards him, that he liked the way her lips brushed against his so nicely. Then without thinking his hand tucks her chestnut hair behind her ear.

The rain runs down their faces to where their lips meet. At first the stray God was overwhelmed by the whole situation, his body froze at the touch of her mouth. Although once his wild thoughts calmed down he melted into Hiyori like snow. 

She kissed the droplets from his lips, and felt him smile against her mouth. Yato swept her hair aside and pecked her just over the collarbone, nibbling at her ear, which caused Hiyori to sink deeper into his arms. She squeezed, wishing to be closer than clothes would allow. She buried her face in his shoulder curve, his hands flexing around her back in smooth circles.

“I love you,” Hiyori murmured into his hair. 

The wave that runs through Yato is intoxicating, making his head swim as he pulled back to take in her beautiful face. A collection of emotions shone from his face. The longer he stared the more happier he became. 

“This is the happiest moment that I actually remember being.” He beamed grinning so much he knew his cheeks were going to ache afterwards.