look i’m not saying voldemort would’ve actually WON if he’d tried seducing harry instead of killing him, but i am saying we have 100% definitive proof that grindelwald was not above using his own sex appeal to entice powerful teenage wizards to the dark side and look how much further that got him
I’ve been thinking lately about recovery from my eating disorder. For months on end, I was sure that I would relapse. It wasn’t that I wanted to or even felt that strong of urges, but more that it seemed to be a thing people did, and I was stressed and depressed, and had the opportunity to, so why wouldn’t I?
For whatever reason, though, I didn’t. I kept eating normally and all that jazz. I’m almost two years into recovery. I honestly take my functioning for granted; I’ve been learning math and classical Indian dance and languages. I have showed up on exchange as much as I could, and really implemented healthy coping skills.
I was just musing about the possibility of things going downhill this summer, and then my host mom knocked on my door to give me some ice cream. I was like, oh, ice cream, great! And then I ate it, end of story. Something my old dietitian said to me once was that I was afraid of both being okay and not okay, which is probably really apt. Relapse is always a possibility, and at least for me, right now, it would be a conscious choice. To quote @velvettruce, “I am afraid that I will fail at greater things than this.” The thing is, the stakes of my life are higher now.
The focus is not on my using behaviors, but how I can (potentially) use a postposition in Hindi. Expectations are higher, and I think that’s a good thing. The idea of maintaining recovery indefinitely is overwhelming, and yet, I might as well. Relapse would give me a break; it would be safe and familiar and what-have-you, but I want better for myself. I have proven, time and time again, that I’m willing to do what it takes in order to ensure that I have a future.
Long post ahead but please read it because this is a message for you. <3
Hello everyone! So I’m back from my brief hiatus and I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your amazing support. The comic above is a gift to all of you and I would love it if you would read about the story behind it below.
So the other day you might have seen this post: Does my Art Suck? I was having a terrible night and felt completely lost with my art… I have been told by so many of my teachers “you don’t have any sense of composition”, “your work is unoriginal”, “your work has no meaning”, “you should give up”, “your art is not art”, and so on and so on…
On bad nights like the “Does my Art Suck?” night all of the things I’ve been told over the years come crashing down on me and, frankly, I start to believe every negative word they’ve said about me and my work… Usually it takes me a few days to push the thoughts away but this night was a bad one… and yet… you all came through for me. Out of nowhere I got hundreds of messages from you wonderful, lovely, people and I couldn’t believe your responses. I read every single message... You all made me feel so loved, so happy, and so hopeful for my art.
To each and every one of you who sent me a message of encouragement and appreciation for my art (whether you are a dear friend to me like @moonpie1220 and @mcbenik or if I only know you online/we haven’t officially met) I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH!! AND PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART!!
I don’t know how I can ever repay all of you for the kindness and love you have shown me… But I will make the best art I can to share my love with you, and make following my blog a fun experience. And if ANY OF YOU are ever feeling down/feel the way I feel, know that there is always someone that loves you and will listen. And if you need to share those feelings, message me and I will be the first to leap through the internet to you, give you a big hug, and listen. Thank you all so much.
And here we see the random shenanigans of a sleep deprived artist Kind of Christmas based with minimal dialogue for no real reason Partially based off the fact that my mind immediately called Highway a christmas present when I saw he had another ribbon Anyway
I need to have joy in my life again, so I’m mushing together two things that make me happy.
Cloud’s hands shook as he watched the video of himself skating. He had been okay with Tifa recording it. She had always supported him, letting him into the rink when everything became too much, teaching him some stretches that could get him loosened up and focused, even making a huge sign for him during his failure of a Grand Prix Final.
He was not as okay with it being posted online. He watched the number below rise higher and higher, now past 100,000 views.
“Sorry,” Aerith, Tifa’s girlfriend, said, “I just thought it looked cool. I didn’t realize it was a big deal.” Cloud couldn’t respond, just let his hands shake.
It wouldn’t be half as embarrassing if he was in proper shape. And if he hadn’t clearly copied Sephiroth’s free program from the Grand Prix Finals.
Gods…he’s admired Sephiroth since he started to skate, always dreamed of skating with him…and his crush was so blatantly obvious now.
Cloud was never going out in public again.
“Oh…theres a battle going on in the comments,” Aerith said, “Oh my.” Cloud knew what he said.
Loser, can’t skate well when it matters.
Piggy packed on the pounds, didn’t he?
“Your fans look like they hope this means a comeback for you,” Aerith said, pointing. Cloud had to blink at them for a few seconds before he actually comprehended what he was reading.
We knew you could do it Cloud!
That’s the Cloud we love!
Cloud blushed. He definitely wasn’t going back in public again.
Cloud felt safe with his mother. While their little bed and breakfast could never compare to the official one in town, the beds were warmer and her cooking was much, much better.
Perhaps he had taken a little too much comfort in her cooking, but she didn’t mind.
“You always changed your weight so easily,” she said, “Up a little one week, skinny as a rail the next.”
He came back home and buried himself into folding towels. Trying to forget about the video, despite everyone in Nibelheim talking about it.
“Cloud!” his mom called, “we have a guest. He’s from way out of town. He wanted to use the bath, but I didn’t have towels. Deliver some when you have a pile for a room.”
“Okay Ma,” he said. He took a pile in his arms and headed up the stairs, inhaling the smell of his mother’s pork cutlet, his favorite. The guest had taken the Master bedroom, the one right next to Cloud’s.
He knocked once and waited. He knocked again. “Towels for you!” he called. Still no answer.
The Do not Disturb hadn’t been put up, so Cloud guessed they were out. He let himself in.
There were an awful lot of bags for their usual clientele. People usually only stayed for a few days to see the mako fountains. This guest looked like he was staying for a good while, for what though. There wasn’t much to do in Nibelheim.
“You must be Cloud.” Cloud felt his heart beat falter for a second.
He turned towards the bathroom, where the door was slightly ajar and steam was slowly seeping out. Lounging leisurely in the bathtub, long hair in a bun (not to mention naked as the day he was born) was him. Sephiroth. Smirking quietly, but serenely at him.
Cloud opened his mouth and made a quiet, strangled gasping noise. Sephiroth used the silence as an invitation to stand.
“I’m here to be your new coach,” Sephiroth said, pulling a clip out of his hair and letting it fall. Cloud just stood there with his jaw hanging.
“Could I have one of those, Cloud?” Sephiroth said. Cloud handed over a towel still silent. Then he set the pile on the bed and walked out.
“I’ll see you at dinner then!” Sephiroth said.
Cloud’s mother remained blissfully unaware of the fame their guest had. All she really knew was that he liked her cooking, which put him on her good side. She was the one who insisted Cloud stay and talk to Sephiroth, since he seemed to like Cloud too.
“Mmm,” Sephiroth said, “we don’t have food like this back in Midgar.” Mrs. Strife beamed.
“I used to make it for Cloud when he won his skating competitions,” she said. The very memory made Cloud’s insides curl up. He felt his appetite leaving him. Sephiroth noticed when he put down his fork.
“Are you going to finish that?” he asked. Cloud shook his head silently. Sephiroth pulled the bowl towards him and began eating out of that one too.
“Why?” Cloud said at long last, “why are you here?” Sephiroth swallowed and looked Cloud in the eye.
“I hadn’t felt inspired in skating for months,” Sephiroth said, “And then…I saw the video. Everyone did.” Cloud felt humiliated.
“It was beautiful,” Sephiroth said. Cloud blinked and looked up. Sephiroth’s hand curled over his, Sephiroth was leaning over closely.
“All the emotion, the passion, the sadness, the joy…I’ve fought so hard to feel those when I skate now…but you…you did it perfectly. So that’s why I’m here. To help you find that emotion…and win the Grand Prix if that’s your wish.” Sephiroth’s hand was suddenly under his chin and Cloud felt himself turning red.
“It is what you want…right?” Sephiroth’s voice was close to a purr. Cloud’s instinct was to jerk away.
“Am I being to forward?” Sephiroth asked, brows furrowing. Cloud mouth finally caught up to him.
“Yes,” he said, “Yes…Sephiroth, I do want that.” Sephiroth beamed at him.
“Excellent…but first things first…you have to get back in the shape you were in before you fell apart at Nationals.” With that, Sephiroth finished off the last of Cloud’s bowl of food.