i have ten toes

I have depression, and these are the things I wish people would do more often

1. Ask how I’m doing.
it’s a little gesture, but it shows me you care enough to ask. which means a lot to me.

2. Tell me I look pretty/cute/etc.
i grab the first thing i see in my closet and put it on. i’m too exhausted to look through it and find a cute outfit. hearing you say that will give me the confidence i probably need to feel good in what i’m wearing.

3. Smile.
we’re depressed. not depressing. please smile.

4. Text me.
just say hey and ask what i’m doing. it makes me smile.

5. Hug.
because the feeling of someone’s arms around me makes even the worst days better.

6. Hold my hand.
depression is hard. it’s nice knowing you’ll hold my hand through it.

7. Get to know my signs.
lip biting, tiredness, being distant, quietness. refer to 6&5 when you pick up on these. it means so much.

8. Cry with me.
my depression is hard on you too, i know. you don’t have to sit there and hold back your tears while i cry. cry with me.

9. “Let’s go do something.”
also saying: “hey, i know you’re going through a hard time. let’s go do something to get your mind off it, what do you want to do?” it’s powerful.

10. Knowing what depression is.
i’m not always sad. i don’t say dark things. i don’t act like the girls in the movies. depression isn’t that, knowing what depression is and how to help makes a world of a difference.

11. Answering
sometimes i have breakdowns. and ill text or call, when you answer and talk to me. i don’t feel as alone anymore.

12. Trying
trying is better than nothing at all. i’m not judgmental and i won’t make you feel bad. promise.

13. Being there on the good days, staying there on the bad ones.
good days and bad days are random and i can’t predict them. it’s upsetting.

14. Saying goodnight.
because sometimes you need someone other than your mother to say it.

15. Saying good-morning.
because sometimes you need someone other than your mother to say it.

16. Treat me like a person.
i have limbs. a head. ten fingers and ten toes. two eyes. nose. lips. a heart. i’m not any less of a person because of my mental condition, please keep that in mind when you’re talking to me.

17. I’m not as sensitive as you think I am.
i still want to laugh and talk shit with you while painting my nails and watching gilmore girls. i want you to tell me about the hot boy/girl in your class and i want to tell you about the lipstick i bought.

18. Lay with me.
lay next to me and hold my hand. because it’s enough.

19. Say I love you.
i want to cry when you say this, because it breaks the thick ice. it makes me feel loved. and i love you even more.

20. Stay.
don’t leave me. i can’t do this without you.

21. Know how thankful I am.
it’s hard doing this alone. i’m glad you’re here. thank you. so much.

Joe's vlogs

Okay so I just watched Joe’s last two blogs and can we JUST TALK


First- Jaspar back at it again with All of Me, this is their song

Josh and Joe pulling pranks on Caspar who was mysteriously away on most of the vlogs

The CLEAR difference between how Joe and Caspar act vs how Joe acts around everyone else

When he’s with Caspar he ~talks~ so much, and he l a u g h s like an idiot

When he’s with the others OFC he does that too but it’s more relaxed Lowkey more chill




Joe’s appreciation for both his mates and South Africa

“And yes I have ten toes”

Joe’s extensive knowledge of Cape Town/ South Africa’s cool places

Joe being scared of seaweed

Caspar taking a wee

Josh being a parent

The drone

Cat Oli and Oli Oli

Caspars pink hoodie

Everyone always on their phone when Joe is filming

So much good material for a “buttercreams tights appreciation post”

Caspar being absent during the New Years party VLOG + really quiet


Oli smiling like an idiot through the days

The “who gets the best room” part

Caspar singing to Joe

His mum telling him he can’t carry a tune

Caspar using the watermelon floatie as a blanket

Josh’s parents letting them stay with them

Joe’s new addition to vlogs-“voice over the video”


The going to he shops with Josh and buying all of the alcohol

Caspar’s reaction to getting the best room

Josh’s reaction to getting the bunk beds

Caspars shorts are a blessing

So much shirtless buttercreams


Joe looking like a model

Twinkle Toes - Ten

Alright, I’ve made you wait so many months for this, I’ll keep the chit chat to a minimum! Finals are over and I’m back for now! Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! We’re nearly at the end stages of Twinkle Toes! Thank you so much to everyone for the amazing review & sweet messages! This is for you! x

Read on tumblr below:

The socks felt scratchy and tight against my legs, just tickling the tips of my knees and I wondered how I’d last the rest of the night in them, not to mention my neon coral pumps per Robyn’s request.

That’s right.

The hen-do was themed.

Keep reading

My dear, I am an army of ten fingers, ten toes, and a beating heart, but I will do my best to teach your demons how to love again, and to leave marks out of passion rather than pain. When I fell in love with you, I realized that falling in love with you was like I had built my home into the side of a mountain. Once those homes are built and filled with love and warmth, that love is permanent, you cannot move mountains or homes within them. But maybe, just maybe, our love could. What I do know I could do is say your name over and over, and it’s beauty would echo through your bones, and empty the darkest corners of your collapsed veins, and I would use these big brown eyes I hide behind to bring life back inside of you. Our “I love you“‘s are repetitive and overused, but repetitive they will remain because I can’t imagine any other combination of letters I would rather utter before your name. I will go until time has unraveled like the bows in my hair as a little girl to bring you happiness– until these ten fingers, ten toes, and beating heart I have in my possession have turned your demons into beautiful beings bearing a resemblance to the girl who taught them that a body should be consumed by love, rather than beaten and broken down by the abomination and antipathy the world has rested on its shoulders.
—  I Will Fight For You (via revises)

Those fair eyes, fair as stars,
the glisten of light on a dew drop
where now they lay, what sight
they behold, the Virgin, a queen,
a young girl of sixteen -

How they wander, do eyes have feet,
ten toes, two soles and two heels
I suppose. But come now love
from where you roam, what eyes have seen,
a fondness drawn, quickly forgotten
the first step home.