i have such a dirty dirty dirty mind

Say it!
  • For malfoyheritage <3
  • Draco: Do that thing!
  • Harry: Draco, really?
  • Draco: Come on! Do it!
  • Harry: I really don't understand why you-
  • Draco: DO IT!
  • Harry: *sighs* Alright.
  • Harry: *lifts Draco up over his head Dirty Dancing-style*
  • Draco: Now say the line like we discussed.
  • Harry: It's kinda obvious, you know?
  • Draco: Harry!
  • Harry: Everyone knows it.
  • Draco: Say it!
  • Harry: *mumbling* Your hair looks better than mine.
  • Draco: *breathing hard* I’ve never needed you as much as I do now!
Shinhwa's 18th Ep 5: "Aoi"
  • *Shinhwa playing Korean consonants game*
  • Minwoo: There's a lot of 'ㅇㅇㅇ'
  • Hyesung: *Shy* Ao.. Ao..
  • Junjin: *Why can't you say it* Aoi! Aoi Sora (ehem she's a Japanese AV actress 😏)
  • Hyesung: Yoo Ah In!
  • Dongwan: Hyesung ah, why did you laugh at "Aoi"?
  • Hyesung: Um..........
  • Dongwan: "Aoi Sora" = Blue Sky. "Aoi" Blue! "Sora" Sky!
  • Hyesung: *Embarrassed* You stop it!
  • Hyesung: You said things like "Jungja (Sperm / Gazebo)" and "hemp"
  • Junjin: "Jungja" is okay! It's in the dictionary
  • Dongwan: "Jungja"! What's wrong with it? Don't you know "gazebos"?
  • Hyesung: (quickly changes subject) It's Eric's turn
Sex with Brad would include:

- your first time
• him making sure that your first time is special, amazing & unforgettable
• he’d make sure you’re comfortable & to let him know if it hurts
• he’d take his time so you both can enjoy each moment
• even though it was the first time for the both of you, he was absolutely incredible at it

- after your first time & after getting comfortable with each other, he’d be up for it whenever and wherever

- he’d keep it fun and exciting by trying out different positions and in different places to see what feels best

- he’d be a gentleman, always making sure you come

- he’ll show his appreciation to every part of your body

- lots of ass grabbing and slapping

- he loves watching your reaction as he goes in deep

- always having to grasp/grab hold of something as he thrusts faster and harder

- he prefers to be on top but loves it when you ride him

- he’d be very loud and vocal, tons of moaning and dirty talk

- he’ll let you know how good you feel

- he works wonders with his fingers and tongue

- sex in the morning before breakfast

- he’d love to please you and to be pleased

- he’d tease you because he loves seeing you frustrated

- it turns him on when you beg for him to be inside of you

- he looks oh so glorious when he orgasms

- panting and sweating when you’re both finished

- cuddles after you both catch your breath from orgasming

- experiencing multiple orgasms because he’s so good

Stereotypical

Bucky Barnes x reader AU (short series) 

Notes: swearing, flirting, mentions of child abuse and alcoholism (past), none other yet

Summary: As a PA/secretary, you are all too familiar with the fantasies nearly all men share: banging their hot assistant. Former jobs haven’t worked out for you for that exact reason, and now starting out at a new company, as the secretary for the CEO of the hottest modelling agency in the country, you’re hoping this one will be different. But after meeting your new boss, Mr J.B. Barnes, you’re not so sure if it will be. Then again, maybe Mr Barnes is not as stereotypical as you think he is.   

A/N: Hi guys! This is a little something I’ve been working on lately. It’s only gonna be a few parts and I hope you enjoy it! 

“Whoa, hey there doll, what’s the rush?”

Quickly checking if you hadn’t dropped anything, to avoid any more embarrassment on the first day on your new job, you looked up at the man you’d just crashed (face-planted) into.

Keep reading

A-Z NSFW: Yixing

Originally posted by squynhty

Disclaimer: I couldn’t find the original poster this came from, but I got this from philanddanxreader, I didn’t come up with this.

A = Aftercare
Yixing is the most caring person in the world. Honestly he’s the best human that walks the Earth, don’t fight me on that. And he definitely will be the most loving and caring boyfriend/lover in EXO, if not in the entire human population. Yixing is certainly a guy that refuses to let you leave the bed until he knows you’re 100% okay. He’s not very rough in general, so hurting you isn’t a fear on his mind often, but he does want to make sure you’re happy and comfortable before he gets his dose of cuddles; either a quick shower if you feel up to moving or he’ll jump to get a warm rag because no one likes sweat and dry cum snuggles….


B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
Nothing fucked my day up more than reading an passage from his book, where he went to say things like he’s a good dancer, but not as good as Kai, a good singer but not as good as Luhan, handsome but not as handsome as Kris. It’s obvious no matter how brilliant he is, he’s literally the most perfect human alive, he’s still rather self conscious. He’d favor his abs, definitely. He rips his shirt off every chance he gets and on Go Fighting when he was woken up he literally went to the bathroom and stared in the mirror at them for a good 5 minutes…I’m sure he’s pretty proud of them. Being the sappy guy he is, of course he says your eyes are his favorite. He’s really lovey, what do you expect, honestly?

C = Cum
While he is the epitome of a gentleman, Xing’s still kind of hesitant and awkward around females. He’d have to finish in a condom in you or something, I feel like he’s such an angel that cumming all over you in semi degrading in his mind, insulting even. If the odd chance he does cum on you by accident, he’s flying off the bed to find something to clean you off. 


D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
I feel like Xing’ll have a lot of dirty secrets. Even though he loves you and he likes being honest with you, he doesn’t really like to be vocal about sex things. He respects you too much to actually bring any of it up, different positions and places he wants to have sex, he keep his lips sealed tight. But…you’ll just have to make him tell you, won’t you?

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
See this is the thing, I can’t imagine Xing watching straight up porn. I remember him saying he does watch 19+ movies? Idk if any of you have watched those but I have and they’re….something…but certainly not on par with porn. I know he had a GF back in China, and wrote her songs and all that, he was definitely a loving boyfriend. He knows too much good stuff to put in his songs mym ??? boy…. and onE DOES NOT SIMPLY KNOW HOW TO MOVE THEIR HIPS LIKE THAT UNLESS THEYVE BEEN IN THAT GOOD PUS-anyways, I don’t think he’s a virgin….he definitely knows what he’s doing, he’s just too respectful to be a fuck boi like the rest of em XD


F = Favorite position

The way that boy gets down on the floor and humps boi busted his fuckin belt how tf that’s a straight up missionary guy. Xing really gets it going too….missionary sure as hell ain’t boring with his hips grinding away. He does fool around with the position, though. Prop your legs up over his shoulders or hook his arms behind your knees, the whole big thang, lord knows one simply does not get bored with xing’s dicc in ‘em.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

While Xing is kind of a meme, he’s adorkable in the best ways, when his shirts off and hips are moving, I’ve never seen the dude more serious. He’s damn determined to give the most for you; he’s in ‘character’ and he’s focused entirely on giving you both the most pleasure imaginable. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
Lord knows I love his tummy and I have a weird obsession with his happy trail. I think he might wax every once in a while…I’ve seen him missing the hair from one armpit a few times……that’s weird…..anyways I don’t think he trims or stays bare much, probably one of the other boys forced him to go along to the ahem..’groomers’ or something.


I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
This is Xing we’re talking about…they boy that wrote love songs for his childhood GF…..k but imagine baby xing writing little love songs, cute image, isn’t it? O-fucking-course Xing is tHE MOST romantic member in both your non-sexual relationship and your sexual one. He pampers you, and especially in the bedroom, he’s almost singing lyrics to you his sweet nothings are so sweet. He’s a stickler for that good ol ‘loving eye contact’ and holding your hands, bodies pressed entirely together while he confesses his love and admiration over and over again. 


J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

Listen…I know he’s a grown man….but I literally can’t see Xing jerking off? Like I feel like just the thought makes him flustered and he gets all awkward and has to think about all the rice cake he was force fed on Go Fighting! to chill back out again. He’d much rather be with you, so if the feeling arises, he stores it in the spank bank for later when he gets to be back in your arms.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Okay, okay. I do think Xing is an innocent little baby, but I know he’s not. You know the times he wears that like…silk fabric as a blindfold? He lowkey stole that and brought it back to keep for himself. He really likes the cool fabric feel against his skin and sometimes after a long long day, he likes to just lay back and hand you the fabric and let you have your own, uncontrolled, fun with him. 


L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Regardless on how he is in the bedroom, we all know Yixing is a good boy, he’s not going to take you somewhere there’s a risk of getting caught and/or in trouble, so he’s very firm in staying in the bedroom. But I really think he’d love bath sex, he likes water so much, the performances and all he wanted to do on Go Fighting! was go swimming, he’s a lil fishy. Bedroom and bath are really the only options to him.


M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

His songs are lowkey dirty, and if he’s got you, I imagine he’d be secretly writing songs about/for you all the time. I bet my leg he’s be writing his not so innocent lyrics and be thinking about you and then his mind wanders….and things grown….and he’d have to hunt you down…Yixing urned himself on just writing about you…sheesh he’s a weirdo…

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Back to Location, he 100% will not do anything public. He’s not easily turned on when he’s out in the world anyways, so it’s kind of pointless to try.  Also anything by his neck? Not happening, he’ll have a melt down. I’d pay to see someone try to give him a hickie….


O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

God Xing is such a little shit….He has the most talented mouth I’ve seen….he’s just too much. He’s a very big pleaser, he almost gets off on just getting you off, he’s a pro and even better since he knows your body’s reactions so well. He almost doesn’t like you going down on him, but he’s one that won’t even propose the idea of you returning the favor and if you take initiative to do it, he’s down for the ride, but he’s not going to ask.  

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

How the floor isn’t pregnant after all this time, I have no idea. If his um…floor fun is anything to show, he’s kind of rough. With an actual person, I don’t think he’d be that wild, a bit slower that he portrays and way more loving and sensual. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
I feel like Xing has a pretty tight hold on his lust and whatnot, so I think if there isn’t proper time to have regular sex, he can easily push it away to bring up later when you’ve got time for it. If they did happen, quickies would be extremely rare, to the point you can count how many times you’ve had them on one hand. He just doesn’t like the rushed feeling.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

[See Location and NO] Yixing’s pretty hesitant in trying new things with you, he doesn’t really want to do anything that sounds like it could hurt either of you so a lot of things he isn’t game to even try but if they sound harmless enough, like just a new position or something, he’s okay with trying that.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Yixing does the very most all the time, he gives 142% in every single thing he does. I don’t think he tires out easily, that’s why he can’t do quickies, I don’t think he cums fast…you’ll probably be at it for a good 10 minutes and that’s excluding the foreplay. But one round is usually all he will do. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Beyond a few things that doesn’t really count as toys really aka the silk fabric blindfold thing, Xing doesn’t delve into toys much. He’s pretty much a sex machine on his own, him bringing toys into the bedroom isn’t a very likely scenario, he doesn’t really like or see the need for them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Make no mistake, Xing is a little shit, Go Fighting! exposed his naughty side quite a bit lmao but after keeping his hormones in check, once he finally has his hands on you he can’t really hold himself back anymore. Teasing you is more so teasing himself and he don’t live for that life. Foreplay is a must, but teasing is right out the window.


V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Xing has the vocals of a god, don’t fight me on that. The boy has a good set of pipes but he’s more of a grunt/moan guy in the bedroom. No one’s going to hear him but you, he doesn’t like breathing on his neck but more often than not he’s got his head tucked against your neck and moaning and panting in your ear.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

We know Xing has his lil dance studio in China, and he 100% brings you with him on his trips back to his home country solely because of the place. Unless shiz is happening, no ones really in there and let’s just say sometimes he really likes the mirrors in the dance practice rooms…

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Okay we’ve literally seen his dick…like 100% Xing dick has been exposed.

b y e
Obviously it don’t really look like much but dicks are strange things, they grow like plants lmaoman i dead ass was watching this porn and it was like 30 mins long and dude had a lil thumb dick and i was like wtf is that and when he actually was hard the fucker was like 5 inch how tf that work either way, that whole motion in the ocean thing is legit, and we’ve seen his moves….itll be ok..

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Like I said, he’s lowkey a dirty guy but he keeps himself composed well. Xing has a pretty average sex drive, just slightly higher than usual but he keeps himself on a leash pretty well so it doesn’t show…but he’ll show you dont worry…

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Xing is a pretty cuddly boyfriend/lover in my mind, especially sine you’re alone his PDA hold back has gone out the front door, he’s latched to your side. I think after pretty much having an intense work out, you both fall asleep pretty fast. Xing’s definitely down for the count immediately after you’re cleaned up.

Day Three- Future

“Uhhhh… yessss… Beka, keep going, I’ll love you forever.” The words were slurred and muffled, Yuri laid out prone across their bed like a feast of toned flesh, all cream and gold.

“I thought you already promised to love me forever.” Fingers ran down Yuri’s scalp, dragged through damp flaxen hair, onto to warm skin.

“MmmmmmmMMMMM… right there… then I’ll love you forever twice over, this life and the one after.”

“Just those two?” Otabek murmured, amused, lips moving softly against Yuri’s bare skin. He barely suppressed a shiver.

“If there are more after that … ohhh, yeahhhh, oh God …. We’ll renegotiate then.” Yuri panted, words mewled and whimpered into the quiet dusk.

“Renegotiate?” Warms hands spread over, across skin, in languid movements, palms traversing the same length in slow, firm, drugging repetition.

“Ah, nnngh, Christ Beka your hands….” The words were outright moaned, the muscles in Yuri’s hips tensing as Otabek pressed knuckles into Yuri’s muscle.

“Renegotiate,” Otabek prompted again, increasing the pressure of his hands fractionally, fingers pressing just that much more in.

Yuri’s breathing stuttered, ragged, unsettled and loud, and Otabek slowed down; it’d do no good to end things now. “If, if I got to keep you for two lifetimes, two forevers, might as well make it eternity.” A slight squeeze, and as Yuri’s breathing slowed, “Infinite lifetimes.”

Otabek’s hands still, and before Yuri can stop it a bereft noise spills out of his throat, trying to make Otabek’s hand move again. Otabek only flexes his fingers, quiet against the background hum of their home. “Infinite forevers.”

Yuri nods his head against the blankets, glad that no one can see how red he is. “Every forever, with you.”

Those hands, previously simply flexing on his hips tighten and Yuri finds himself on his back, blushing, startled and pinned in place by his husband’s body and fierce gaze. “Beka?!”

Anything more he might have been planning on saying was quickly cut off via liberal application of a hungry, yet unhurried exploration of his mouth via Otabek’s. It wasn’t worth fighting the man when he kissed like that, and Yuri relaxed into the familiar-yet-thrilling sensations.

His fingers grasped at the fine hairs Otabek had tied back, pulling the man closer and bringing that delicious, bruising pressure to his hips. He let his eyes drift shut and gave over to giving as good as he got.

It seemed like an eternity later when Otabek disengaged from Yuri, chest heaving and thumb sweeping across Yuri’s kiss-bruised lips. His chocolate gaze softened, eyes crinkling in that subtly ecstatic expression he wore, it seemed, every time he got Yuri in private, alone for the quiet ways he expressed his careful adoration. The one that screamed what did I ever do to deserve you? to whomever cared to look.

Yuri stroked down through Otabek’s newly mused hair, drawing him swayingly closer so that their noses brushed and their breaths mingled. He pressed a quick fleeting kiss to Otabek’s lips, then let his overwhelmed husband bury his face in the crook of his neck. It was nice to feel their hearts racing in tandem, and nothing was ever going to be better than this. Except ….

“You know this doesn’t get you out of finishing my backrub right?”


Cross posted on ao3 here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9921461

anonymous asked:

Hey Komaeda, how cute would it be if Hajime was the one who became a cat?

Oh that’s something I would really want to see ! I’m sure you would be really cute as a cat Hajime.


Well I think you would be cute too with cat ears.


Really? I thought you were a dog person Hajime. Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer me as a dog?


….Idiot. *chuckles*