i have so many photos to sort through

PittCon 2017: The Jared Padalecki Project

You guys might remember this post

Well, here’s a follow up to it.

I have received 28 letters since I posted this. That is amazing, but I would love to have that number grow even more.

This project and collection of letters is officially being dubbed “PittCon 2017: The Jared Padalecki Project”

I’m going to list some guidelines below, as I’ve gotten a ton of questions about it.

Keep reading

My Experience at Columbine...

So I went to Columbine a week or two ago, I was feeling very anxious and I was excited because I like making people happy. I had promised all my followers on tumblr that I would get photos for them and any custom photos they wanted I would deliver.

Well today was the day to deliver, I was at the memorial at the South-Eastern edge of Clement Park. It was nothing out of the ordinary because I’ve lived in Littleton my entire life, I’ve seen this memorial a lot! But, something was different about it, it wasn’t how I usually saw it and it wasn’t necessarily how I usually felt. I knew all about these kids, all 13 life stories, each one had something different about them. While I passed along each memorial I planted a kiss on each one. Everytime I did I felt a little chill down my spine, sort of from excitement like I had done something good. The way you feel when you give the homeless money or take them out to lunch or something. I didn’t read each memorial because I was being rushed by my friend to go to the school, she had to be home of course right when we left. I promised each kid that I would read them as soon as I got home and that’s exactly what I did.

But…this was different, when I was leaving the memorial it felt like a child was pulling on my leg begging me to stay, to play for a little, I knew I had to hurry but I told my friend to move on with out me so I could stay a little because that’s what I felt I should do. So, I sat on the sidewalk where it looked right over the memorial, I could see each one and I could see the mountains in the distance, pure beauty.

I talked a little, I talked about my day and I talked about school, you know the usual, how I was, what my name is, how old I am, and what I want to be in life. Then I sat there for 15 minutes with out knowing, it was like someone was talking to me, I didn’t know what they were saying but I sat there in silence for 15 minutes listening to whatever it was I  was being told, although I couldn’t hear it, I felt I wasn’t alone. My friend had come back at this point because I had spent so long with out walking to the school from the memorial. I agreed to move on and said goodbye, I swore I had heard someone say goodbye in the distance, could’ve just been my head messing with me, but this time I felt it was okay to go.

Walking to the highschool I became very anxious and excited again, I was finally going to get some of the pictures I had promised! I couldn’t help myself, I was practically jumping up and down, weary of my camera, I didn’t want to break it.

Getting to the highschool was exciting, I reached it from the front then walked to the side with the commons on my own. But..something was off, I was no longer anxious and I wasn’t excited, I was silent, I was numb. I took a photo of the entrance of Columbine and moved on, wasn’t too exciting.
I walked from the South entrance to the West side of the school, where the commons was located and where the new library/old library is/was located too. I was still numb, I took a couple photos from various angles of the West entrance before moving on. I stopped in my tracks and looked down the parking lot, smaller than I had expected, easier to navigate where everything was when the incident took place.

I walked to the commons, looked inside and felt anger, I felt it building up inside. I released this by taking photos of everything, why I was feeling anger is something I can’t answer, I don’t know why I felt that way and I don’t know why it occured in this specific area. I looked up, well there was the library…where students had their lives taken from them and where students took their lives, it felt unreal and it was unsettling. I had my friend help me take photos by blocking the light around the camera, I couldn’t enter the school. I was so intrigued by the stairs it was the only thing I took photos of, why the stairs? I still don’t know why.

Walked a couple hundred more feet I was faced with the HOPE Columbine Library Memorial, a memorial built next to the new library. What was left of the old library was just open space, they destroyed the old library and the commons was left with just two floors of nothing.

When I reached the library memorial I felt calm, it was strange how calm I felt. It made me feel like everything was okay, everything was going to be alright. At this time in my life I’m going through tough things, something some kids shouldn’t have to go through.. but going to the memorials really helped me realize that light can only shine in the dark.
I sat there, in silence before taking many photos. My original plan was to take a photo with me in it before going home and photoshopping all the students around me, sort of to imply that they would never be forgotten and they’ll always be here in our hearts and our lives. But, I felt that was kind of tacky so I backed out of that idea.

I then decided to walk down to the parking lot, near where Eric and Dylan parked their cars. Suddenly, almost immediately..I felt anger, I felt sadness, I instantly started hating the world and I was hurting again, I wanted to hurt myself and I wanted to hurt the people who hurt me. But, I started feeling sadness more than anger, this brought me to tears, I was feeling my suicidal thoughts coming out and I was feeling myself hurt and I always push my hurt to the back of my head. I pretend it isn’t there.
Something told me it was okay to talk about it, it was okay and they were going to listen to me so…I spent almost fourty-five minutes (maybe more) talking about these things in the middle of a parking lot. I looked crazy and my friend had left to walk around some more so I could have a moment to myself. I felt support. I felt like someone had their hand on my shoulder and they were telling me it was okay.

I spoke about my suicidal thoughts, why I have them, and why I didn’t want help for them. I explained how everything in my life was turning upside down, how everything wasn’t right and how life isn’t perfect and how much I hated it. I spoke about everything that was on my mind, anything that came up, anything that I hated about myself. I heard a soft voice tell me it was okay, no one was around me it might’ve just been in my head. I felt better, I felt things were going to be okay. I had felt like someone was telling me that it’s not worth it, losing your life isn’t worth it, death is not worth it. I needed to be happy, I needed to cheer up and I needed to realize things aren’t always better when you’re gone, people will miss you; people will ask questions.

I will never forget how Columbine saved me, no one was there and I hadn’t actually spoken to anyone, it was me and nature. I will never forget how I had spoken about all of my feelings and how I felt a hand on my shoulder and someone telling me it was okay, everything was okay and things are going to get better.
Not everyone will believe my experience, not everyone believes that something so simple like this can change someone, but it did. I haven’t felt suicidal thoughts since, everyone has their ups and downs and everyone needs help sometimes. Don’t decline someone’s invitation to help you. I got my help even if it was from someone who wasn’t around anymore, even it was from just my head playing tricks with me. I felt loved in that moment, I felt cared for, I will never forget what happened on that day.

It’s almost 1 am and I’m finally back home at my own apartment with my own bed! I’m super tired and exhausted for various reasons and technically uni starts again tomorrow (…. well later today) but MagicCon was soooo awesome! I might be posting a bit more within the next week once I have time to sort through my photos etc.

I met so many cool people, and I hope I’ll be able to go again next year :)

[INTERVIEW] CL FOR GRAZIA KOREA DECEMBER 2015 – “YES, I AM CL.” (DECEMBER 24, 2015)

Q: I find that you have a lot of female fans. And they are unnie** fans too.
A: Ahaha. That’s right. I do have a lot of unnie fans.

**Unnie – Korean way for a younger female to address an older female

Q: I thought that you would have a lot of younger fans.
A: Strangely, I’ve had many unnies and oppas around me since I was young. I grew up listening to their experiences. I really like that.

Q: Although you have a strong personality, you’re able to give others a sense of stability that only people who were brought up well have.
A: Ah, really? Ahaha. Thank you!

Q: I’ve just come to know about Operation Smile through this project. How about CL?
A: Me too. I really like babies and children so I visit the Holt Children Welfare Society a lot. That’s why I feel a special sense of attachment to this project. I’m going to take some pictures with the 6 year old Jiyeon soon. I’m really looking forward to that.

Q: I talked to her for a bit and found out that she usually plays CL’s music out loud and dances to it.
A: Ah, really? I’m even more excited to see her now (smiles).

Q: Your occupation is one that requires you to be in the public eye. I’m curious how is it you balance your private and public selves.
A: I’m of the view that both of those selves will eventually become one. Actually, even though I have to worry about my public self because of my occupation, if I become relatively close with someone I tend to become my private self with them. And that’s what I want to do (smiles).

Q: Are you shy? You kept on smiling while saying that (smiles).
A: I’m still working hard on it (smiles). I think the confidence from my public self needs to be mixed with my private self.

Q: What are some standards/codes that you would like to live by?
A: I want to live as human-like as possible. I want to attempt all the challenges that I would like to attempt, make mistakes and learn from them, without worrying over my career too much. Like a human.

Q: What have you been focusing on lately?
A: I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been working since I was young but I always think that working is the most fun. Should I say that my passion seems to only be concentrated on working? Even when I’m playing with my friends, it would eventually lead to making music together, composing this and that. I gain and give good energy and influence at those times.

Q: Artists usually tend to debut with a certain concept, then slowly modify the concept as they go along to end with a tailor-made concept that matches them. However, CL’s colour seems to have remained consistent from your debut.
A: That’s because I was lucky. From the very start, friends gave me clothes that matched me and Teddy oppa always helped me to find music that suited me. And since I am also the type to try a lot of things, I think that has helped me to be able to sort through what would match me and what wouldn’t.

Q: Is that why the large variety of styles that you’ve tried never look awkward on you?
A: I think it’s because I liked them. Wearing the clothes and taking photos in them.

Q: Do you like taking photos or being photographed?
A: I like both.

Q: Do you take photos of other people too?
A: Lately, I’ve been taking so many photos of the people around me that they’ve said it seems like I have lost my soul. Hahaha. It’s been a while but I cleaned my room recently and found polaroids that I took in the past. There is also a lot of photos of the (2NE1) members. I looked at them and realised that ‘ah, and so it’s really only photos and memories that remain’. It was from then on that I took pictures like I was crazy. Even though other people thought that it’s really troublesome (smiles).

Q: What do you like about being photographed?
A: That I’m able to leave evidences of many different versions of me. It’s fun because it’s like signing off with a stamp.

Q: Nevertheless, a filtering (??) like CL seems to be powerful from the start. You have your parents to thank for that.
A: That’s right. (I do have to thank them) for having brought me up freely, for me to be myself. Hahaha.

(T/N: I have no idea what they’re talking about but it literally says ‘filtering’)

Q: You’re now in a career that you wanted to go into. What kind of world do you hope for children to live in?
A: Hmm… circumstances are not fairly distributed amongst people right? So, although it may sound corny, I think that it’s important to have confidence. It’s not possible to have the same start as someone else, and since it’s not possible to have the same things as others do, I think that it’s important to have a heart that is able to accept yourself as who you are. I hope that they don’t become afraid. Even if they themselves are a little different from others. Actually, I am like that too. I’m conscious of the fact that others are aware that I don’t have a pretty face even though I’m a celebrity. That’s why I put in as much effort as their awareness of that fact (smiles).

Q: I think of ‘strength’ when you mention being confident in who you are. You seem like someone born with that confidence.
A: Does it seem like so. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to think about this as I work in this career path. Since I’m so different from everyone else. When I debuted around 17 years old, I hear a lot about how I was ugly and that I come off too strong. I’ve had severe internal conflicts and moments of weakness as I had to reconcile the need to protect myself and the need to match the standards imposed by others. I’ve increasingly realised that the right thing to do is to like myself, to feel pretty and to remain faithful to my emotions and feelings. To be honest, this is difficult to do. When everyone else is saying ‘no’ and you’re saying ‘yes’ by yourself. However, since everyone is different, I think that if you invest your passion and time into the strong point that you have, that aspect will become your own charm.

Q: And that’s why people are now submitting to CL’s charms.
A: Ah, is that so? Hehe.

Q: So you debuted at a really young age in 2009. How do you think you survived that period of time if you were to think back about those times now?
A: My early 20s were actually more difficult for me. I think I went through my teenage years without knowing anything and rather aimlessly. I had many worries when I turned 20, such as what to live on in the future etc. My young friends also had the same worries and I used to tell them then that it’s healthy to have these worries and that they are something to be happy about. How could a person live happy every day? You’d have to feel inadequate sometimes for there to be development.

Q: I wonder if it’s because you’re born with a positive personality or is it because you’re surrounded by good people. Are there lots of people that you usually converse with?
A: I’m really close to my younger sister, and also to people at my workplace. I had a really depressing day a few days back, but I met President Yang (Yang Hyun Suk), Jiyong oppa (G-Dragon) and Youngbae oppa (Taeyang) at my workplace. They listened to my worries seriously and comforted me, which cheered me up. My friends are really important to me. That’s why I’m working hard at taking photos of them (smiles) and I’m also having fun with them. Doing these allows me to gain strength again.

Q: You’re in a career that allows you to have a big influence. What do you think about that?
A: It’s impossible for such a responsibility to not feel heavy. However, I am human so I do make mistakes, and I have a life as Chaerin on top of being CL. In any case, I am someone that does music and is loved because of that, so I think that it’s right that I remain faithful to music. I think that doing well in music and putting on good performances is my way of fulfilling my responsibilities.

Q: What are the basics of a good performance?
A: A performance without regrets. You’d have to put in that much hard work and time. So, I don’t think that a perfectly prepared performance is a good performance. Even if I go on stage with just a mic, as long as I do my best, I believe that my energy and emotions will be conveyed to the audience.

Q: I’ve also watch CL live a couple of times. Your force was overpowering.
A: Ahaha. I guess my voice is really loud. I’ve only been aware that my voice is that loud recently (Everyone bursts into laughter).

Q: That’s also a skill that you’re born with.
A: It matches my job, doesn’t it? (Smiles)

Q: What do you think is true beauty?
A: Although everyone has different standards, for me, I think it is honesty. By honesty I don’t mean ‘not telling lies’ but being faithful to who you are and being able to express that without fear of others.

Q: Looking at the bigger picture, I think that the theme of this photoshoot is ‘dream’. It gives people an opportunity to dream of a new life. As CL found her dream of doing music at a young age, what would you like to say to people who have yet to find their dreams?
A: Please spend a lot of time with yourself. My assistant friend is 20 years old and we’ve talked about this topic recently. She said that she didn’t know what she was doing or what it is she wanted to do. So I told her to not forget about the issue or avoid it by playing with her friends and that it’d be good if she could face it head-on. For example, having to separate and being hurt… when time passes, it all gets better. However, how everyone spends that time differently. For some, they might spend that time as if they are dead because they were hurt, but others might invest that time in themselves instead. Everyone is given the same amount of time. That’s why how you use the time given to you is really important.

Q: You have come to this conclusion over some time, haven’t you? It’s interesting how all successful people say similar things.
A: Ah, really? But I’ve not succeeded yet though? Hahaha.

Q: You have received a lot of love to reach this point though.
A: Yes I did. Although I’m lucky, I’ve also received help from a lot of people.

Q: Have you thought of a time when you would no longer be as loved?
A: It’d be fine because I will love myself! I think that love is something that you need to constantly be doing without relying on others. You need to love yourself generously and feel that you are beautiful. “I am going to love myself a lot.” You could love yourself a lot more if you hold a similar conviction in your heart. I could long for love from other people but it’s easier for me to love myself. This would allow you to receive as much love as you would want.

Translated by CLtheBaddestFemale.com.

4

I would just like to share something I’ve held in for a while.

For Black History Month,  the Black Student Union was provided a bulletin board outside the Dean’s office by Co-Curricular Programs in Union Hall to decorate.

This was decorated on February 2nd.

We worked hard in displaying and commemorating strong affluent leaders and inspirational figures of the Black community. Unfortunately, our works were recently discovered to be ripped down and what remained was a picture of the late Trayvon Martin (originally being part of the collage).

This discovery was found on February 13th.

The act seemed quite intentional being that the pictures were attached to a larger piece of paper as the backdrop of the collage. The late Trayvon Martin’s picture had to have been ripped away from this collage and reattached to the bulletin in order for it to stand alone. I have provided pictures of the bulletin board before and after the desecration.

The school has done nothing towards this issue. Although it was in February, I still that some sort of public announcement of intolerance has to be sent out to the student body.

I will not stress how many times this school has brushed under the rug, so many racial issues.(Wagner College in Staten Island)

What do you guys think? Would you be mad? Would you care?

If so , do share, and reblog this photo and spread around the type of experiences people of color go through at PWI’s.

anonymous asked:

Can I ask for 6 of your all-time favourite pictures of David and Gillian? Help us pass through this very very very dry spell please :)

My top favorite pictures of them???

WHY, SINCE YOU ASKED

Because how is this photo even real.

There are actually not many photos of them looking so unhappy in such close proximity and I cherish the few we have.

This is one of the first and only photos I had of them saved on my computer back in the day and I have really weird feelings about it. Like, I used to look at it before I learned about their shit, and when I thought they must be some sort of acting magicians that made Mulder and Scully come to life via their perfectly open and friendly costarry affection towards one another a la every other pair of successful costars ever. How innocent I was!

I know it is really Mulder and Scully but for me this is almost The Photo. This is the “workable working relationship” photo, the “relationship of reliance” photo, the “we don’t socialize” photo, and the “save it for the camera” photo all rolled into one. Madness shared by two.

Two insanely gorgeous people form ranks, grim and battle-ready.

I love the inverted power dynamic of this, especially given when it was taken. The vulnerability of his head tucked under her chin, his ear on her breastbone. Her posture is more rigid and her eyes look challenging, but his are calm and safe.

I can exactly recall the feeling of disbelief I felt upon first seeing this photo. Heady times, 2008.

I can stare at this one for even longer than the ones where they’re touching.

ok so sue me

Truly one of my long, long term faves. The perfect indifference. I mean you can’t buy it.

Trying to come up with a caption. Trying.

The perfect “after” photo. David is wearily, cheerfully over it and Gillian triumphant.

And finally, this one is such so sweet and casual, I like to keep it on my phone and pretend that, um, other people would too.

THIS HAS BEEN FYDG’S FAVE PICS.

I’m gonna be perfectly honest…when I joined Tumblr about 5 years ago (yikes!), I was mostly looking for some beautiful photos of Benedict Cumberbatch ^_^.  Never could I have anticipated that I’d discover so many wonderful blogs, meet dozens of amazing friends, start a fandom chat group, and dive into making GIFs/graphics.  Those listed below have deepened my enjoyment of all sorts of shows and movies, helped me laugh through the hardest times, proofed my graphics and meta, dragged me into oh so many fresh hells new fandoms, made my dash beautiful, and overall enriched my Tumblr and fandom experience beyond my wildest imaginings.  Thank you all (。♥‿♥。)…I wish you all Happy Holidays and a fabulous New Year!

Mutuals are italicized.  Friends are bolded.

#-E

@1mi0 // @8apedemak8 // @abadpoetwithdreams // @activeraid // @aka707 // @alempe // @anotherboywholived // @a-ogiri // @asbehsam // @buri-art // @camichan19 // @centipedekun // @colourlesszero // @coromoor // @crown-of-carnations // @cumberbatchweb // @cumberbuddy // @curryart // @cynicwithatwist // @deareje // @dolceshu // @drowning-in-theories // @eyepatch-centipede

F-K

@fallenwithstyle // @falsehero // @femmefarfelue // @floppyamon // @fmablover27 // @ginntoki // @haatake // @haga2nd // @hairlu // @haisexe // @harostar // @helenodd // @hideyoshi-senpai // @hime-yona // @hiroki-art // @hitaki-tempo // @hobby2drawer // @httpsoleil // @iacediai // @impulse–edits // @ishida-why // @itsomgitsgreenblogging// @jujuwanko // @jxn0620s // @k1deki // @kaeveeoh // @kailog // @kakujahaise // @kanekx // @karadadan // @kenkamishiro // @kimalysong // @kushuuu // @kytyngurl2 

L-O

@ladymoonstache // @lilyshikiyue // @linkspooky // @lithedeer // @little-bin // @littlemissymonster // @liusys-ghoul // @londonphile // @makyun // @mcavoys // @mcgrillzdumpinc // @melo-9ba // @mgitart // @mikahlaart // @miss-cigarettes // @missdreamerxx // @mizuartsee // @mobpsycho100 // @mochibom // @murkymuse // @myneighbortatara // @nadenwolf // @nemurenaivoron // @neropet // @nezineko17 // @odoh // @oneeyedkingeto

P-S

@pandaflavouredcookies // @penkipenguin // @petitshuu // @pineapple-gel // @preciousghoul // @quinx-ssquad // @rainycheese // @rehvyn // @re-in // @ri-cha1 // @riptide-wielder17 // @sasaiko // @sayokariko // @sherlockology // @shirayukii // @shouty-y // @sikaloolala // @snarky-gourmet // @sociopathinblack // @sorasan00 // @soumeki // @ssghoulhaise // @stars-glow-for-you // @stelarbarbecue // @submachineguns // @sugawarakatashi // @sui-zakki // @suzune-tgre // @suzuyas

T-Z

@taotrooper // @tfw-no-tsukiyama // @thehobbem // @the-masked-barona // @thenerdycorgi // @theyseemewhalin // @tinyghoulproblem // @tokyo-fushu // @-tokyoghoul // @tommyuchiha // @toukyoghoul // @viria // @vorick // @wabbitwanderer95 // @wildlifeneko // @xinorinrin // @xxxdreamingflowerxxx // @xxxlinearinsect // @yona-chan // @yonaks // @yona-of-the-dawn // @yuaiya // @yuzuqi // @zelinxia // @zuzuthecheerbender

*If your name isn’t bolded but you consider us friends or want to become friends, please let me know <3!

9

Sorting through some photos and realising how lucky i am to have met some of these artists and to share the stage with them. So many friendly people.

1) Roo Panes

2) Chet Faker

3) Thomas Dybdahl

4) Amber Run

5) James Bay

6) Chet Faker (Again…)

7) Flo Morrissey

8) Dylan LeBlanc

9) Rachel Sermanni

Choosing to feel grateful for my life today.

x

I know this isn’t a confession but I just wanna take a minute to explain another big reason I love Demi. She is so outspoken about mental illness. As some of you may know, my little brother has high functioning Autism & I also work with special needs kids including Autistic children. This was a photo from a recent meet & greet & this little boy has Autism. It’s just crazy how much of an impact she has over EVERYONE. Whether it be alcoholics, drug users, eating disorder victims, self harmers, people with depression & anxiety, & all sorts of mental illnesses including bipolar, schizophrenia, autism, & so much more, LGBT, even people that have never gone thru anything she has, they still make a big impact on her.

I loved Demi when she was on Camp Rock, she helped me so much when she came out with her struggles because I went through so many similar things, she was the only one there when I needed someone.

I am a sober soul today because of her help & now that she is supporting mental illness awareness only increases my love for her.

She is such a good person. Inside & out. Beautiful, talented, & the perfect role model.

You don’t have to be a Lovatic or have been thru anything Demi has or speaks about, but just know, it’s okay not to be perfect. Even Demi will tell you :)

- Fallyn