“One thing you learn as head counselor: you have to keep it together for everyone else.”
I have a few regrets drawing this.
Not so many people remember that Will Solace is so much more than the pure innocent sunshiney boy from Apollo Cabin. He had lost a big brother over and over again and is now struggling to fill in their shoes.
Also, I do think it has been mentioned that Will is the camp’s best healer.
It’s been an absolutely lovely birthday and I wanted to share my joy with you all. So here–a quick drabble on me. First thing written on my new laptop. :D And thank you to those who sent in prompts–I loved reading them and will be posting them sometime this weekend, hopefully with something a little extra for Halloween~! (Update: Now with edits/detail fixes because what is proofreading?)
Title: Lovely Stunning Honest
Synopsis: No one warned Kouki what Akashi was like when drunk.
It takes all goddamn night, but they finally gank the wendigo that’s been haunting the little town of Iron Mountain Lake, Missouri.
Dean would probably feel more accomplished if it weren’t the middle of February. The whole experience has been, unsurprisingly, unpleasant. The temperature can’t be much above freezing, probably colder than that with the wind chill, and Dean’s winter coat and constant movement aren’t doing shit to keep him from shivering.
And the all-nighter definitely isn’t helping. Actually, if there’s something that sleep deprivation does help with, Dean would love to know about it.
He’s going to think back on that, later. He’s going to think, Yeah, we were all exhausted, that must have been the reason we made the fucking decision to take a shortcut over the fucking lake just to save ourselves a few minutes trekking back to the car.
Right now, at least, to his credit, Dean is asking, “Are you sure this is safe?”
You hadn’t expected to meet, much less build something, with B/N, but you had to go home. Time was up.
As an actress, you’re taken everywhere, meeting hundreds of people. You had only been in Korea for six months and your stay was coming to an end along with the filming. As was this small relationship you had unintentionally developed.
It’s 10:00pm and you both walk on the beach, the breeze cold as you snuggle yourself deeper into your jacket. His fingers are intertwined with yours, stuffed in his coat pocket. The only warmth your body is accepting. You haven’t brought it up yet, but you know that he knows it’s coming.
“I’m-” you start but gives your hand a squeeze, interrupting you.
“A little bit longer, then we can talk about it,”
You nod, and he puts his arm around you, the side of his body warm. Your feet sink into the sand, delaying your steps, but it only increases the little time you have with him. The time goes by and you bring it up again. He doesn’t stop you.
“I leave in four days,” you say.
He nods, looking at the dark ocean, “I know,” he stops walking, sitting on the sand close to the shore. He beckons you to join him. You sit between his legs, your back against his chest with his arms around you.
“I won’t be delusional and say let’s do it long distance,” you say. His chin is on your shoulder as he listens to you, his cheek cold against yours, “That’s not fair to either of us, because we don’t know when we’ll see each other again,”
He says nothing, only holds you tighter against him, occasionally brushing his lips on your neck. You shiver, blaming the cold.
“I have to continue my work and you have your job that will take you everywhere,”
You feel his Adam’s apple move against your shoulder and you refuse to look at him because along with the strong help of the wind, your eyes are flooding. You keep your voice steady.
“You can call me, when you’re available and not tired, of course. If you have concerts near me, I’ll come and see you. I’ll act like a crazy fan that won’t let go of your hand,” he sighs and you can’t tell if he meant that to be a laugh, “Or I’ll just show up, act as if nothing happened and go on my way,”
He buries his face in the back of your shoulder and you feel your throat tighten.
“I almost wish this didn’t happen,” you whisper more to yourself than him.
“Hey,” he finally speaks and you look at him, “I don’t and won’t regret this. These few months together have meant so much to me, even though we knew it was going to end like this. I just didn’t expect it to hurt this much…”
At his words, your tears fall. He wipes them away, “So don’t say you dare say you wish we didn’t happen. I met you and meeting anyone like you again is highly unlikely. You’ve made me laugh more than I thought I could. You’ve even seen me mad,”
“Which isn’t a pleasant sight,” You turn around and face him, pushing the stray hairs the wind keeps tossing around, “But in a week, you’ll still hurt and you’ll feel the same way. In a month, you’ll think of me and think you still feel the same way. In three months, you’ll think of me and miss me. In six months, I’ll skim your mind, only when things remind you of me. In a year, I’ll just be another memory,” you look at his hand that still holds yours, “You won’t think the same way as you do now,”
“That’s not true,”
You meet his eyes, “Is it?”
“Will it be that way for you?”
“I’ll make it that way,”
“Because holding onto what can’t be will destroy a person,” you keep your voice strong, speaking professionally, “The time that we had together was pure. Never did I think this could’ve happened, me and you. But you’re so different from what I thought and the fact is that, I’ve come to admire you in ways I never expected. I saw this coming but I didn’t expect to feel this way,” Or fall this hard, you admit to yourself.
He take your face in your hands, and you blink away your relentless tears, “You’re talking as if you’ll never see me again,”
You hang your head, “I’m trying to prevent as much heartache as I can,”
“Relationships that end like this are not simply forgotten, Y/N. The ones that are unexpected, they usually last,”
“Everyone says that when they’re trying to hold onto something. Girls throw themselves at your feet, do you expect me to believe that I’m the only one you’ve ever done this with?” He’s silent, “You’ll find another girl, a trainee or someone. They’ll pick up from where I left off. Same with me, I’ll find someone in this industry,”
“Stop it,” you can’t read his face, “It doesn’t matter if I’ll date someone after you’re gone. Right now, I choose you. And if you didn’t have to leave I’d choose you again,”
You scoff bitterly, “I don’t believe you,”
“I don’t expect you to. You just know that I will not forget you. Six months is a short time, but I can’t forget someone that has helped me the way that you have. I can’t forget this face, or the way your eyes look when your concentrated, or even your laugh. I will think of you and I will miss you. I’ll even make an SNS account just to check up on you,” you smile at that, despite yourself.
“We both have our lives, our own careers. It wouldn’t work, even if we tried,”
You shake your head sadly, “If we go public you’ll be annoyed with the extra attention. I’ll be threatened by your lovely fans. And I will hardly get to see you. You’ve seen social media tear people apart,”
He looks to be at a loss from the truth of your words and he plays with your fingers, mindlessly, “Being with you, Y/N,” he suddenly says, “I’ve never treasured time so much. Never wanted the days to go by so slowly,” he brings your fingers to his lips, “Never enjoyed touching someone this much,” he kisses both your cheeks, “Never enjoyed kissing someone this much,” he presses his lips to yours and you kiss him back, savoring this moment with him.
He holds you closer, refusing to release you, not that you had any intentions of letting him go. When he pulls away, he smoothes your face, taking in every inch of your appearance.
“It’s almost to the point where I think I’m in lo-”
You stop him, feeling your heart speed up, “If you’re about to say what I think you’ll say, don’t say it.”
He looks at you, his eyes pained, “But I need you to know,” I know.
“And what happens after? It’s the emotions and threat of short time. Please, don’t say it,” You know there is power in those words, but also setbacks. That simple ‘I love you’ could quickly dissolve with time, no matter how badly you want to hear it, “You’ve only known me for six months, B/N, I could see if it was a year,”
“A lot can happen in six months. But since you won’t let me say it that way, I’ll say it another way. I care for you, in ways I never saw coming,” he pulls the hat from over your head. He’s come to like your curls more than you did, “You’re talented, you’re beautiful and you’ve got a smile that makes me stop in my tracks. You’ve helped me in ways you can’t even imagine,”
This constant outpouring of emotions makes you feel vulnerable, yet you know he’s in a bare state as well. You care for B/N more than you’d care to admit. With the short time constantly in your mind, you’ve guarded your heart, as best. You’ll recover once you leave, you’ll make sure of it. However long that takes. But forgetting him was out of the question.
“I really hate goodbyes,” he says softly.
You hug him then, tightly. Gently combing his hair with your fingers, “Later, I’ll see you later, okay? Whenever that will be,”
“You’ll come to my shows?”
You nod, “When I can,”
“I’ll give you backstage passes, if we even have those,”
You laugh, looking at him, “You’ll watch my shows right?”
“Yes, and I’ll contain my unreasonable jealousy if anyone kisses these lips,”
You nuzzle your face against his chest, inhaling his scent, “I’m going to miss you. So much,” he holds you and you feel the quickness of his heart.
Soon, you both stand up, noticing how late it is. He dusts the sand from your clothes, pulling the coat around you some more. He fixes the hat on your head, turning the collar of your jacket up. You take his hands, stopping him. You can see the sadness in his face and you bring his hands to your cheek.
“You’re handling this better than I am,” he observes.
“Someone has to,” you kiss him tenderly, feeling his arms wrap around you in a way that makes your stomach dip from being so close to him. How I’ll miss you…
You start to walk back when he picks you up and spins you around. He yells your name towards the ocean, kissing you deeply one more time, “Oh God, Y/N, I’m gonna miss you.”
Do you guys ever think that if you write or think of a scenario, it won’t end up happening because you’ve already imagined the possible future? I do. I’m a bit superficial, sorry.
Because I love your art, could I request Koori Ui or Hide?<3 XD
“To be honest, Sasaki, I’m not that surprised…”
I have this little scenario in my head that Ui is gonna be all “I TOLD YOU SO!!” (ノಠ益ಠ)ノwhen they confront Kaneki after this arc. This poor boy is gonna have a rude awakening when he realizes he’s been working under ghouls all along… (Also, you can see this is referenced from a manga panel if you squint)
Whyd u choose community college? Were the reasons financial or could u not get into a 4 year college? do u have regrets about ur education
I feel like this question is super loaded? I was accepted to all of the four year colleges I applied to, but my decision to go to community college was for practical reasons. I was paying for college entirely on my own and housing and transportation were huge issues for me. I couldn’t afford to pay for a four year university AND an apartment AND a car (esp. since I considered going to San Francisco State and they have some of the highest costs of renting in the country). I also didn’t feel like I was ready to move away from home and tbh my depression/anxiety were pretty bad my first few years of college.
But even so, I have ZERO regrets about my education. Even if I had the money at the time and was emotionally ready, I’m glad I went to community college because it was the practical thing for me to do. Plus, I think community colleges get a bad rap for racist/classist reasons when in reality the college I went to provided me a great education. Many of my teachers also taught at four year universities and hardly altered their syllabi between schools. Honestly, I found several of my community college classes to be more difficult than the ones at the four year state school I’m currently attending. Don’t make assumptions about community college.