life of a fangirl
do you obsess over something because it just makes you so happy but at the same time it can rip your heart out and crush it into a million pieces?
well you my friend, are a fangirl.
we are a unique fraction of our generation but trust me it is both a sin and a blessing to be apart of the fangirl population. being a fangirl, not only separates you from normal people but puts you ahead in the sense that you are always up to date with what is happening in the world (as long as in relation to your fandom) than others. now you may love boy bands or musical artists, you may love books, tv shows and movies, you may just love celebrities in general but everyone is a fan of something, the level of the obsession determines the fangirl status.
for me, being a fangirl allows me to express feelings like no one else such as through phrases like ‘ASJAHBDSHABFB and OMGSJKBHAKB’ also known as complete excitement, language used that only other fangirls can understand. when something exciting happens in your fandom such as a new harry styles picture, conversations begin and end with CAPITALS and emoji alongside jumbled letters. you may say, we go into a state where words are just not comprehensive or we have just gone cray. the adrenaline rushes, the eyes bulge, breathing becomes heavy and most often then not tears and sobs are formed but it is all apart of the fangirl experience.
there are always those occasions where your fangirl reaches a whole new level as too many things lead up to over excitement and joy, causing you to lose your shit. for readers this may be when your ships are actually shipped, or christian grey says ‘i love you’ or the movie is released and casted with beautiful people. for boyband fangirl’s this may be when a new tour, album, movie, song, music video or photo is released in which ‘THE FEELS’ are brought on.
the feels, a sensation unlike no other, it is an extreme emotion brought on by a variety of feelings such as excitement, happiness, depression and lust. every fangirl has had the feels and trust me, it isn’t pretty. you tend to go through stages of feelings, first beginning with shock and hyperventilation from whatever the stimulus may be, moving onto excitement to happiness then becoming lustful and most often then not becoming depressed due to the thought of never actually meeting this person ever in your life, never getting to touch them, never getting to tell them how much they mean to you and never getting the closure you need to realise that they actually know you exist and you are not just some random person in this world. finally the feels take over and only chocolate, ice cream, food and taylor swift can help you now.
although there are some limitations of being a fangirl it is also filled with joy and happiness for eternity. however the great thing is that you are never alone, every fandom is filled with millions of fangirls going through the same thing, so its great to make friends and fangirl together because lets face it, being a fangirl is a full time job and you need support.
being a fangirl consumes your life, sooner or later every moment of the day is spent thinking about that person, what they are doing? how they are feeling? your wallpapers will no longer be cute dogs, they will now be hot af photos of your true love, your contacts names will change to the members of the band creating an illusion that each time your mum calls you, it is actually zayn malik. you become broke af because you need to have the latest merchandise, books, albums and the best concert tickets. you need to plan for when they come to your town because you need to stay in hotels, wait at airports and stalk the fuck out of them to get your selfie. you cannot live a day without having something come up that just so happens to coincide with something that relates to a song lyric or a quote from years ago. you cannot sleep without praying to meet them, you are constantly on social media following their every move and you absolutely cannot stop talking about them, so you have probably already lost all your friends, or you have disowned people that do not support your fandom, because who needs haters? basically your life is run by your fandom and it is now the way you live and the way you will continue to live until death do us part.
being a fangirl is something no one can really explain unless you are one yourself. people can judge and thats all good because we live in a world where judgement is everywhere, so why not flaunt your fangirl and tell everyone how much you love high school musical, how much you want a christian grey, how badly you want to hug harry styles and scream ‘I AM 1D AF!’ , because you do you and tell everyone who you are!
once you join a fandom there is no exit, you are in it for life, so enjoy the fucked up ride, we are all in this together. flaunt your fangirl status. - K