i have now updated my life

Office talk is tiring. Mostly when it’s the barrage of WHAT ARE YOUR THANKSGIVING PLANS??? And I just…hate the pressure that is put on the construct of the holidays. It’s the build up that it needs to be pleasant and for it just isn’t.  I just feel like I’m white-knuckling my way through it and swallowing the poison being grilled about my relationship and family status (uhm I’m single and queer and most of these questions are fucken sooooooo straight). Update me on your life!!!! Well Janice, I’m coping with hella depression!!!! 

At least I have a job now. And so I tell my office mates it will be a nice a quiet evening with my family. 

Recent Hiddleston writings have been updated on my blog navigation.

I took out the Updates pane because I never keep up with it.

Now onto writing…and maybe sprucing up the blog for Christmas. Haven’t decided how yet.

Other than that, happiest of Thanksgivings to all of you, even if you’re not American. It is a time to give thanks, and I cannot be remiss in giving all of you a very BIG thanks for being amazing people in my life… whether it’s all of us discussing a new beard growth or fangirling over a puppy! Despite the sometimes negative parts of fandom, and the crap going on in our world at large, you are the people that make me see all the very good things.

Originally posted by peteneems

Random rant

I have been going on belly dance lessons weekly for few months and just now, in front of the mirror, I realised that my hips move much more smoothly than when I began dancing. Heck, more smoothly than ever! I’m quite happy about this since this has been the first dance course I have ever taken in my life.


Eheh, sorry about this randomness and for lack of updates (again). Been busy (again) but I try to post soon!

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Felt like posting an updated version of my expression tutorial from a few years back. I absolutely love drawing expressions, and one of the things I’ve found most helpful is just making sure when you draw them you keep your sketches loose in order to add more life into the drawings. (Now back to your regular scheduled fanart on this blog…) Yeh boi

So, serious talk.

How is anyone supposed to both have a full time job and be a solo 1d fan?

Like… how?

How?

A NONEXHAUSTIVE ANIME RECOMMENDATION LIST

CLASSICS (you’ve probably watched these already):

  • Neon Genesis Evangelion : depression, adolescence & mecha: the anime
  • Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann : depression, adolescence & mecha: the remake
  • Kill La Kill: see above, but with a commentary on fanservice and the anime industry. also main female characters
  • Death Note : morally ambiguous main character kills people, eats potato chips. everyone loses their shit
  • Fullmetal Alchemist (both 2003 and Brotherhood) : 2 brothers fuck shit up, also save the world through alchemy.
  • Cowboy Bebop : guns in space
  • Every Goddamn Ghibli Movie : do it, you weakling. watch them all theyre all good
  • Ghost In The Shell : theres more than just the first movie. watch the other ones. also the tv series. do it. its about being human
  • Code Geass : snotty rich boi decides to take over an entire empire through sheer assholery and somehow manages it, but god, at what goddamn cost. 
  • Yu-Gi-Oh : believe in the power of the fucking cards karen

CLASSICS II (you probably haven’t watched these and it makes me sad):

  • Perfect Blue : the movie black swan tried (and failed) to rip off properly
  • Future Boy Conan : because miyazaki also does tv series
  • Revolutionary Girl Utena : sword lesbian, a lesbian with a sword
  • Oban Star Racers : racing, but in space. half french
  • Mushishi : spirits, in all their contemplative beauty
  • Black Jack (the OVAs are the best but you can watch the rest as well): the original Dr House, with more money and assholery
  • Koi Kaze : quite possibly the only redeemable anime about incest
  • Sherlock Hound: did i mention miyazaki doing great tv series yet

SHONEN (young boys fuck shit up):

  • My Hero Academia : crybaby protagonist turns out to be most loveable character of all time. becomes a cool hero. love him
  • Mob Psycho 100 : a show about a boy who just wants to be good. ONE manifests in your house to physically punch shonen tropes in the face. breathtaking animation. read the manga before tho. trust me
  • Avatar The Last Airbender (& Avatar The Legend Of Korra) : fuck you its anime because i fucking said so. watch it. the story is great and culturally diverse and also cool shit happens
  • Naruto & Naruto Shippuden : whatever you say some arcs were fucking legendary so whenever you want just watch some cool, non-filler shit. every thing after the Pain arc doesnt matter dont watch it
  • Soul Eater: i have no goddamn clue whats going on but it looks cool.
    also spirit vore
  • Hunter x Hunter : young boy adopts new adults in his family, gets killer best friend. literally
  • Keroro Gunsou : alien frogs try to take over the world. it,,,,, doesnt work very well. featuring otaku frog, angry frog, gay fanboy frog, gay nerd frog, alone frog as well as many other things. the humans are also good
  • Wakfu : its. basically french anime. fantasy stuff, it has great animation (especially in the later episodes) and the main villains are fucking incredible. its on netflix and by all that is holy watch it in french with english subs else i will physically manifest in your house and punch you.
  • One Punch Man : ONE tries to mock shonen manga, does it too well
  • Shaman King : the french OP is in my head and I CANT GET IT OUT
  • Black Rock Shooter (OVA + series) : this times its girls fucking shit up, and theyre also crying. it looks amazing

SPORTS ANIME (i dont give a shit about sports but goddamn i love these):

  • Baby Steps : the most realistic and likeable sports anime ever. weak art but great story telling and pacing
  • Haikyuu!! : what even is volleyball. i care about these characters and the animation is fucking phenomenal. the soundtrack is so good. watch it
  • Ping Pong - The Animation : weird-ass art in the best way, great story & characters. cant fucking believe this was achieved on flash
  • Welcome To The Ballroom : n e c k s
  • Hajime No Ippo : punching people and your own FEELINGS
  • Yuri On Ice!!! : gay ice skating. everyone loves quadruples. very nice and sweet. you will care about dogs
  • Akagi: lets just pretend playing mah-jong while using your blood to bet is an actual sport. also known as ‘wow thats a peculiar art style - the anime’
  • One Outs: was introduced to me as “akagi but with baseball” and boy was i not disappointed

OTHER SHIT I’M TOO LAZY TO CATEGORIZE (but watch them theyre good i promise):

  • Fume Wo Amu : autistic man discovers how to make dictionaries and friends. some sad happens
  • Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu : like a greek tragedy, except sadder and directed by gods. incredible animation as well. gr8 storytelling
  • Doukyuusei : a short, sweet love story. the animation style is stunning i fucking love it with all my heart
  • Steins;Gate : time travel bullshit. great direction
  • Journey To Agartha : a movie i tried to get people to watch back when they didnt know who makoto shinkai was yet. pls watch its good
  • Usagi Drop : aka “dont read the manga - the anime”. the fluffiest piece of animation you will ever encounter. a dad dadding his life away
  • Psycho-Pass : great thriller/action show. makes you question morality
  • Uchuu Patrol Luluco : fuck you and your feelings im more important
  • Monster : naoki urasawa Does It Again™
  • Kiznaiver : a deconstruction of drama anime in general, with godlike animation and art. the OP makes me want to cry because its so good
  • Wandering Son : a touching anime about trans kids. read the manga
  • Akagi : just makin sure you watch that one. while youre ahead read the manga too
  • Nichijou : slice of life anime presented in the most hilarious way
  • Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica : magical girls but with a twist. dont fuckin trust that piece of shit plushie
  • Lupin III : arsène lupin except hes more of a piece of shit than usual
  • Parasyte : i am scarred for life by the things i have seen
  • Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures: whatever the fuck is going on here

thats it for now, i will probably update this in the future when i think of it. these are my opinions and my opinions only im not some kind of anime guru kthx

anonymous asked:

getting kind of tired of the lack of updates, w out an explanation, we at least deserve that

I think I’ll have to put this in the FAQ at some point because I get asked this a lot even though I’ve answered it before, which is OK. I don’t expect people to search the blog for old asks all the time to find information. It might just be easier to put it in the FAQ.

I had surgery in late April for a kidney tumor. It was successful but the recovery has slowed my updating significantly since then. I used to have no job and all the time in the world to work on SaM before that, updating maybe even 3 times a month. That is not doable anymore. Since surgery, I’ve had health problems as well. I’ve been to the Emergency room 5 times since April, all on separate occasions, once even on my family’s first time ever going to Hawaii. I was stuck at the condo.

In addition to health problems, I also have full time employment now. Meaning, I can only work on “Satan and Me” and my other comic “Here it Comes” on the weekends. Updates will be significantly slower because of that, also because I still want to have a life outside of just drawing on the computer all week. I don’t spend my entire weekends drawing updates. Sometimes I go shopping or see my friends or have a meal with my family. 

My full time work is also a drawing job, which I’m happy to have because I went to art school to work in art, so I like that I finally can do that after attending school for 3 years. This is extra taxing on my wrist, which has been in very bad shape even when I started SaM 3 years ago. So sometimes I just don’t want to draw because my wrist needs a day off. I am unable to draw 7 days a week every week. I still try to do that, though, because I feel bad about how much updates have slowed down since my surgery in April, so I still push myself and end up doing just that.

These past two weeks I have some friends in town for the first time on vacation as well. So for these two weeks I haven’t been working on SaM, choosing to spend time with these friends while they’re here instead. It’s my first vacation since I started employment in April, and since my medical recovery. I even had to work during my family’s vacation in Hawaii, so that never felt like a vacation to me when I was stuck 4 days at the condo sick, on meds, and drawing all day while everyone else got to sight see.

I’m sorry that updates are slower. “Satan and Me” will realistically probably get an update every month or every other month if I’m honest. I can’t help that at this point. I try to make the updates prettier and with more panels to make up for that. Before, updates would be 7-10 panels long. I’ve been trying to shoot for the 20s range for you guys, or at least upper teens, since Natalie came back. 

I’d love to draw more, believe me I would, but with fulltime work now that’s just not doable. I’m sorry, but I need to pay my bills.

Blog/Life Update.

Okay I rarely do one of these but I think I might need one this one.

Alright. So, you may have noticed things have been rather slow here. Well there’s a few reasons for that. The biggest one is that I recently landed a job i’ve been trying to get for a while now. So far it’s been great! I’m really excited and it’s a really welcomed change.

So obviously like any other job. It really takes most of my free time. Which explains the lack of art. But it’s a good reason it’s not like I have an art block or anything.

That kinda leads me to the second reason I’ve been kinda quiet. The free time that I get. I’ve been trying to focus it to Hopping Gills. I finally have some more finished pages and if everything goes right I’ll start posting pages by the end of the month. 

So those are the things keeping me busy! I’m obviously still going to post stuff here soon but I just felt like I needed to clarify that since I’ve got a lot of worried people that just thought i was being depressed or going thought some hard art related time but It’s actually the complete opposite. Hah.

also hey y’all. haven’t really talked on here in a while. i think its funny that i have 197k followers but like, all from 2013-2015 so i have no clue who is even around anymore haha. my name is Anthony Amorim, but y’all call me jerkidiot.

i guess to update anyone who is still here listening or might scroll past this. i’m doing well! i was just on tour for my album 2004 which dropped about a year ago. i just hit a million total streams on Spotify which is neat. i do music full time now and i go to Belmont University in Nashville to study music business/songwriting. i’ve got real life fans now who support me and come out to my shows and buy merch and shit and it’s all really surreal but i’m so fucking happy. i did vine for a while but that died and now i’m doing youtube and instagram and all that stuff. things are good. 

i don’t know why i felt like writing this out but i’m glad i did. it feels like writing to an old friend. tumblr used to be my whole life and i seriously thought that what happened on here impacted the rest of the world. now i’m almost 20 and i  kinda realized that this is just a little corner of the internet. still special though. 

thanks for the support while i was a stupid little memer with a traffic light. 

i love u.

OBS&BH Update

Just to let everyone know, the next chapter of obs&bh will not be up on Sunday as it usually is. As I said in my AN last chapter, the 13th was my goal for posting but since this chapter is the final one I could make no promises. Since then, there have been personal circumstances in my life that have severely limited my writing time meaning the chapter is still mainly incomplete. Also, since this is the last chapter, I don’t want to rush it as I want to make the ending to the main part of the series as good as I possibly can and being under a time pressure is counterproductive to that. Because of this, the final chapter has no set date for posting as I have no idea how long it’ll take me to finish it and edit it to a quality that I’m satisfied with. 

The chapter will get written when it gets written and I will update people on here when I have a better idea of when I will be able to post it. For now that date is still undetermined and I would appreciate if people don’t ask about updates as when I know more information, I will post it I promise. I appreciate that waiting isn’t ideal but because of events in my life and my desire to make this chapter the best it can be, there’s nothing I can do to get the chapter finished any faster.

Thanks for your patience!

Kaz xx  

Hi Tay, it’s Katelyn :) I saw that you’d said your biggest insecurity is your hair, and I get insecure about my natural hair as well, so here is a picture of me being happy n stuff while embracing what I’ve got in support of you. I also wanted to update you on my life a bit because I haven’t seen/talked to you for real since 2015… so if you like to read more, that would make my heart so happy. Love you sister. xo

Oh, the things that have happened in the last two and a half years. Clearly I’ve grown up?? I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t even recognize me. I’m 17 now!! Been through some rough patches, had a major heartbreak and a half, lost some friends, made some new ones, you know… life. I’m feeling okay right now though. My friends are the best fucking people in the entire world. I’m not kidding. I successfully weeded out all of the toxic people who had constantly been making me feel miserable, and now I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. A lot of those friends, sisters at this point honestly, I have known for years because of you and they are THE best people to spill to and spend time with. Some of my favorite moments in the history of..ever.. have come from doing absolutely nothing with them, but also somehow turning it into the best day ever. In the tags I’m gonna add a hashtag filled with some of the posts that mean the most to them, so please fill my heart and take a look at that if you do happen to read this ! I’ll probably do a separate one for myself too, just so that you can see what you’ve been missing (mine is gonna be all over the place so just a warning in advance lol). I’ve been busy as ever– sleep is a myth tbh. I’m on the board for a handful of things at school, working, looking out for my sisters, and pretty much just trying to keep on holding my shit together in general. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve also gotten funnier and I think you’ve noticed this.

I didn’t really have anything ÜBER important to tell you about, I just wanted to talk to you. The other night I was reminded of just how many fans you have and how hard it must be to keep up with all of us (props !!!!). Sometimes it makes me feel forgotten, but I know that isn’t the truth. Thank you for doing that too, checking in on us, you’re incredible babe. I really miss your sweet self and your bone-crushing hugs :( I hope you’re proud of me and how much I’ve changed myself for the better. We better reunite on tour my girl. Take care of yourself and see you soon (I’ll be at release week 😉) !! I love you, always.

PS: I’m SO happy that you’ve finally found a relationship that’s worth your time and energy. You’ve always been deserving of the very best– that will never change. You’re fucking radiating and it’s so exhilarating and contagious!!!!!!!!

Update on top surgery, probably not getting surgery until next year which has really had an impact on my dysphoria and depression.

But that just means I have time to get my body in the best shape possible, KT tape has now saved me from binding and has made day to day life easier.

Happy with where I am currently however I want more so that’s what I’m going to go do.

6

생일 축하해, 전보람!! ❤ [March 22]

Happy birthday to our most beloved Jeon Boram. Thank you for showering queen’s with love and ‘aeygo’, your smiles and ajumma laughs. No matter what decisions you make in the future, know we will always be behind you, supporting and watching over you. Thank you for being a part of our lives. Thank you for being a part of T-ARA ♛

3

A social experiment conducted with mutuals of various levels of friendship, ranging from in real life friends to those i have rarely or possibly never spoken to directly. Now we wait.

Shoutout to @reforge and @tumblrbot for answering too quickly and immediately ruining any chance of me getting the before picture. So now I will update with results as they come in. Not ideal, but adapting is a necessity in science

2

HI!

I wanted to share a little bit of how my birthday was. As most of you may know, on September 8th was our 19th birthday. {I’m the one with the dress}

We were at my grandma’s house reunited with a few friends and family members. It wasn’t the best day, cause I really didn’t have much time to rest or take a nap, the day was really busy. But I least I got to see my people and catch up. And also I ate a lot.

My friends from college gave a cake, a blouse, some hair products and they paint a big “happy 19th birthday Arianna” in the chalkboards. Then a random guy pass near us and he asked: who’s Arianna and I said: me! Then he gave me a cookie and really, all of that made my day.


There were a lot of people that help me through the week to get your notice but sadly I didn’t got it. Thanks to all the swifties who were tremendously helpful and patient, I love you and I’m here if you need me.

This is a little bit of my life, I want to keep you update from now on, even if you aren’t watching haha. I love you so so much baby and I’m so happy that I still have you in my life. There were a lot of people in my life that left, but somehow you were always constant, and for that I feel blessed.

I really dont know if you’ve heard about me cause in the 1989 era, I contact a lot of swifties to help me out with some project I had in mind. I ask them to help me get to you, I wanted to let you know how much you mean to me and how much Venezuelan swifties love you. So I made cards, I send photos and edits adding people from my country who also wanted to be a part of it. To this day I don’t know if you ever get any of that but in case of not I will still try. In my head, and in my imagination you are secretly lurking my blog and you are waiting for the best moment to reblog, so I keep on praying for it, cause I know one day I’ll get it.

Thanks for everything girl. Hope you see this someday.

Te ama, Arianna.

@taylorswift

A (Very) Promising Update

Wow. Okay. Hey everyone (that’s still around). YCPfE and I are finally back. Like. Actually back.

I know it’s been a long break and I kind of disappeared after saying I’d update - and I know there’s only so much I can say to excuse myself, but a bunch of things kind of all happened at once. (After I got out of the hospital, my father went into hospital (hence the trip back to my other home), and then because it was so bad, I had to move him halfway across the country to come live with me for a while. THEN, if that wasn’t enough, one of my partner’s family members was murdered. And they left behind a 4-year-old daughter, who, for quite a while, it looked like we were going to adopt. (It didn’t end up happening.) Plus a few other things I don’t want to get into.

BUT, now that my life has somewhat calmed down and there doesn’t seem to be any life-changing things on the horizon, I can finally get back to writing.

I hope you’ll all forgive me for the really long hiatus and not getting a chapter out when I said I would. I promise that I’ll do better at keeping you guys updated. I’m going to do my best at responding to the messages I can and getting back on track with original content here. If you have any questions or just want to rant to me, please feel free to message me.


AS IT IS. I’ll be updating Wednesday. I just need Tuesday to do a bit of editing and I should be good to go. I’ll get you a teaser in a few hours as well, just so you know this is actually happening. 

A POT introduced me to his family...

 Soooo gather round the campfire, children, I have a terrible tale to tell and I’m sure there’s a moral at the end somewhere.

In two weeks I’m leaving the country. I was going to do a separate life update post but now this happened and the story kind of overshadows the update.

So because I’m cutting all ties to my life here, I’m down to like a couple of POTs that will still talk to me after I kind of fucked them all over. The one that was any kind of steady income was Nice Guy.

I’m calling him that because he legitimately was a NICE fucking guy. I met him off of WYP, as it’s the only site I still use and he was kind of creepy/ugly when I met him and really socially awkward. I could tell why he needed to be on WYP, basically. We went on three dates whilst I was still in the city and then he actually drove to my area (or what he thought was my area bc I never give my real address) to have a date with me here.

I could just hit Nice Guy up and be like ‘can you send me XXX amount please’ and I was careful not to make the amounts too high- he got really upset if he couldn’t pay. One time I asked him for just £200 and he called me up crying actual tears like ‘I just don’t have it right now, but I really like you’. I knew he could actually afford it as he had a great job, but being the big softie I am I felt really bad for him so I told him not to worry about it and that we could go out casually and talk if he needed to. We didn’t have sex, but we had ‘heated’ Skype calls shall we say. He never pestered me for sex, but I had no intention of giving it to him- especially as I was leaving the country so soon and didn’t need his money. (By the way, I never told him I was leaving).

So, I’m in London for the last time til I leave, staying with my friend, I tell him I’m in the area and he’s like: “Do you want to go to the Savoy?” And my Achilles heel consists of five star London hotels and tiny cucumber sandwiches, so I said yes. You can probably already see where this is going.

So, I put a nice dress on, beat my face, mentally prepare myself for a few hours of his company, and head off to the Savoy. I met him at Victoria and we walked down together, just talking and catching up and EVERYTHING SEEMED ALL FINE AND DANDY. THEN!!

We go in, put up our coats, and I say: “Do you want to go up to the bar first?” It was lunchtime and I was ready for my lunchtime Dom Perignon (just kidding, I’m a basic Sauvignon bitch). And he was like: “We already have a table.” Now. When he said ‘we’, children, what I THOUGHT he meant was ‘you and me’ and what in fact he meant, as I learned thirty seconds later, was him and a bunch of people I’d never seen before in my life.

We walked down into the centre of the room and there was a table next to the piano with about six people sitting around it. I was looking around as he was walking towards it because of course, that couldn’t be our table.

He stopped me in front of the table and just said: “This is makeitrainsugar.” (Not giving you my hoe name) and I was like

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

WHAT DO THINK YOU’RE DOING???? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???

 I was giving him ‘this is not okay’ looks the whole time but he just fucking wouldn’t look at my face. I perched next to this lady who said: “I’m Nice Guy’s stepmother.” I shook her hand, trying to think of ways to leave without making a scene.

 The other two guys around the table were Nice Guy’s brothers and there was one lady who was his sister and the other two women were the wives of the brothers, but they were just like a fucking blur to me as I sat there. I was just sitting there as the tea came, wondering what I had done to deserve this.

 Nice Guy’s brother was like: “So I heard you met on a website.” And Nice Guy was quickly like, “Yeah, yeah, we did.” And I’m just glaring at him like yeah and it was WYP not fucking match dot com this is not part of the deal.

 The WHOLE ENTIRE MEAL they were ragging on Nice Guy like ‘when are you going to get a better job?’, ‘why don’t you move to a nicer apartment?’ and Nice Guy was just nodding and trying to joke and it was just sad like I can see why he’s so self-deprecating all the time. Not that that’s an excuse to ambush me.

 His brother was like ‘your girlfriend’s too pretty for you.’ Then he looked me In The Eye and said “you need a real man.”

 WHAT I NEED IS A TAXI AND AN ASPRIN THANKS ANYWAY

 I was just laughing awkwardly the whole time and just regretting all past decisions as they talked about how much of a failure Nice Guy was. 

 And then, AND THEN, when the bill came they said they’d split it between all of us. No. No, I don’t split bills. I’m not out with my friends, I’m on a POT date.

 I looked at Nice Guy like ‘hello?’ but he was just avoiding my eyes so I said: “Sorry, I didn’t bring my purse. Honestly, I thought it would just be me and Nice Guy.” Like hint hint, dumbass.

 And Nice Guy STILL didn’t offer to pay, his brother, the real man one, was like: “I’ll get your end. You can pay me back.” With like the nastiest look on his face, like your girlfriend/wife is sitting literally next to you, asshole.

 I get up whilst the bill is being paid, because I’m at my limit, I went to the bathroom and I text him to tell me when his family is gone so we can talk.

 I wait for like ten minutes and he says they’re gone, I go out and Real Man brother, his wife and Nice Guy’s mother are still there, that lying sack of shit. So I straight up ask Nice Guy if I can talk to him for a minute and he has the audacity to look flustered like he didn’t already know that’s what I wanted.

 We walk up to the foyer and I say: “Is there something you want to explain?” And you know what this goddamn man says to me? He presses against my ear and says: “That was so fucking hot.”

 Like THAT’S what you have to say, you limp dicked fuck stain??? After putting me through this and all you can do is try and fetishize it?

 I said: “How exactly was that hot?” And he says: “I was thinking about fucking you the whole time.”

 I’m just staring at him, thinking that a douchebag ghost has possessed him because this was NOT his personality before.

 I simply said: “We’re done.” I couldn’t scratch his face because CCTV and security.  And I walked out and he didn’t even try to follow me. But he did call me an hour later, apologising, saying that it was his way of saying he loved me. Boy bye.

 Anyway, so I suppose I can add this to the long list of ‘experiences’ that I’ve had. The moral of the story is, no matter how nice a Nice Guy seems, if they’re on fucking WYP or any sugaring site. There is always. Something. Wrong. With. Them. Remember that, ladies.

Last night I parked down a dark country road and watched the meteor shower by myself. I had such a nice night, I wasn’t lonely, there was no guy I was missing or wishing could be there with me. I was perfectly fine just laying there by myself, looking at the stars, thinking about life. I wanna make it very clear that I’m not glorifying eternal singleness. If that’s what you’re after then go for it but personally I would be sad to be on my own for the rest of my life. I believe humans need each other and that emotional connection is the fuel of a meaningful life.
But where I’m at right now, I’m staying connected with my friends and family. I’m helping people through what I do and the message I share in my career. I’m not desperate, I’m not sad, I’m not waiting around for someone to come make my life enjoyable. I LOVE my life the way it is. I guess now that I’m closer to 25 and my brain is almost fully developed I can just feel myself becoming more responsible with my choices.
It used to be that if I was attracted to someone I HAD to talk to them. It didn’t matter if I knew it was a bad idea, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve grown up so much in the last year and a half since I really started dating and let myself go down that road finally. I woke up and realized that yeah, if someone is blowing you off they’re probably just gonna keep blowing you off. If someone’s not giving you their time, they probably don’t really wanna be with you. If someone is putting in minimal effort, they’re probably not serious about you. I always wanted to be able to change people or “figure them out” and just say and do the right things and then hoped that somehow I could make them come around. I’m so done being that control freak. I can’t change anyone. I can accept people for who they are but I don’t have to let things drag on when they start to get stupid.
Things don’t feel like the end of the world anymore, I don’t feel like I’m gonna die alone and I’m finally starting to appreciate myself. I know I’m a catch. I know I’m a good person. I know I’m not some worthless lowlife who’s too crazy for anyone to love (literally how I used to see myself HAHA). I know I have a ton of good traits and a fascinating mind and a lovable personality, along with plenty of flaws that someone else will learn to accept as I learn to accept theirs in return.
I’m just at a place where I’m good. I don’t have a huge void to fill. If I don’t enjoy hanging out with someone more than I do spending time with myself, I’m out. I can take myself to the movies, I can look for shooting stars alone, I can take care of things just fine on my own. I have great friends and an incredible family and I don’t need someone else coming along and screwing up my life just so I can feel the “magic” of being jerked around and mislead for a month or two. That’s not worth my time anymore.
I’m looking for stability, dependability, loyalty and someone who’s actually serious about me. Someone who is going to for real take the time to get to know me and THEN decide if they want to date me.
I’m so sick of guys blowing me up cuz they think I’m cute and then peacing out once we actually start to get close. I used to take that so hard and think there was something wrong with me, like “once people get to know me they just leave 😪😪😪”. No Lisa, that’s called people who never wanted to know you, or anyone else for that matter, and can’t handle being close with other people in general. The only way I was the problem in that situation was the fact that I let them move in way too fast and act like a crazy person and take up so much of my time without ever even trying to be my friend. I’m finally over that game.
So yeah, that’s where I’m at right now! Haha I’m realizing the error of my ways, I’m feeling good about myself and I’m PERFECTLY fine enjoying my life on my own. If a real opportunity presents itself to get to know an amazing guy in a good situation, I will gladly take it. In the meantime I have an amazing opportunity to get to know myself and I am enjoying every second :)