i have no ovaries because of you

glassslippers-and-tinywhiskers  asked:

Could you discuss delayed desexing and the alternatives like an ovary sparing procedure? It seems clear that in breeds like the GSD it benefits their health, but do we know much in regard to smaller breeds? (I know this topic can be controversial so if you'd prefer not to delve into it, or already have I understand) Also I've been loving the breed posts, thank you for taking the time to write them up!

I don’t at all mind discussing the topic when everyone remains civil about it. It’s very interesting and an aspect of veterinary medicine that’s bound to change as we gather more information. I’m happy to discuss it as long as all participants refrain from making personal insults.

It’s a long discussion folks. I’d grab a cuppa tea if that’s your thing. Also, unfortunately I can’t hide it under a ‘read more’ because it’s an answer to an ask, and Tumblr will eat the hidden part if I do. I will try to make it look pretty if you’re not interested.

Traditionally in dogs we have performed desexing (spey) by performing an ovariohysterrectomy, removing both ovaries and the uterus. Some alternatives have been suggested including tubal ligation, hysterectomy (removing only the uterus), ovariectomy (removing only the ovaries) or doing nothing. This is good. Science as a process should periodically review data, question the knowledge base and make recommendations based on new research. Otherwise it’s just dogma.

I don’t think you can claim that it is ‘clear’ that leaving the ovaries benefits the health of breeds like the GSD. The practice is still controversial at best, with some veterinarians outright labeling it at malpractice. There is some breed variability in terms of what relative benefits and risks might be expected, but I really wouldn’t call it ‘clear’.

Originally posted by wolfyoubemyvalentine

Before I talk about various cancer risks, let’s talk about relative risks of non-cancerous conditions.

With an ovariohysterectomy (traditional spey)that is properly performed, there is zero risk of pyometra. Stump pyo can occur if remnants of the uterus or ovaries are left behind. Cruciate tears are affected by multiple factors, but desexed dogs seem more prone to them than entire dogs. Weight gain and obesity is more common in desexed dogs.

The relative risk of pyometra in non-desexed dogs is about 25%. Risks typically increase with age.

With an ovary sparing spey (hysterectomy), only the uterus is removed. Pregnancy is prevented. Pyometra can still occur if any uterine or cervix tissue remains (a stump pyo). With the apparent influence of oestrogen, these dogs may be less at risk of cruciate disease and are less at risk of obesity.

With an ovariectomy, only the ovaries are removed. This renders the dog infertile and removes the influence of oestrogen. The uterus will atrophy and shrink down without stimulation from female hormones, rendering the risk of pyometra basically zero. It may still increase the risk of obesity and cruciate disease like the traditional spey.

Considering that pyometra is often lethal, while cruciate disease is painful but treatable, personally I would err on the side of preventing pyometra. Also keep in mind that obesity in dogs can be moderated with owner control of the diet, and obesity will predispose to cruciate injury. I would recommend removing at least the ovaries.

Male dogs have less surgical options. Vasectomy can be considered, but these dogs are basically entire but infertile.

An entire male dog is more at risk of perineal hernia, benign prostatic hyperplasia, perianal adenoma and inter-male aggression. A castrated male dog is relatively more at risk of, again, obesity, cruciate ligament disease, and possibly diabetes.

With the information above, and I haven’t brought cancers into the equation yet, you might wonder of preventing obesity in desexed dogs might reduce the incidence of cruciate disease and subsequently other conditions that we know are more common in obese dogs, namely cruciate ligament disease and diabetes. You might conclude that there is little benefit to leaving a dog entire if you’re able to control its weight.

I think that’s a reasonable assumption so far, though it’s clear to me that the benefits of traditional desexing are more pronounced in females.

Originally posted by heartsnmagic

Now lets talk about cancers.

There are multiple types of cancer. Some are more devastating than others. Some are more common than others. In terms of highly malignant cancers that show up relatively commonly in dogs, the ones we talk most about, and of most interest in this topic, are mammary cancer, haemangiosarcoma (HSARC), Mast Cell Tumor (MCT) and osteosarcoma (OSC).

  • Mammary cancer is extremely common in entire female dogs. In European countries where prophylactic desexing is not routinely performed mammary tumours make up 50-70% of all cancers seen. They are relatively rare in countries with a high desexing rate but extremely predictable in dogs desexed late in life or not at all. Speying earlier appears more protective compared to being left entire: speying before the first heat reduces risk to 0.05%, before second heat to 8%, and before 3rd heat to 26%. after the third heat there is negligible reduction in risk of mammary cancer compared to intact dogs.
  • Osteosarcoma may be three times (3x) more common in desexed large breed dogs.
  • Mast Cell Tumors maybe up to three times (3x) more common in desexed dogs of certain breeds. Lymphoma may be up to 10% more common in desexed dogs of certain breeds.
  • Haemangiosarcoma may be more common in neutered dogs of some breeds, but less common in neutered dogs of other breeds.

There isn’t much consensus across ALL dog breeds in ALL situations. There are numerous retrospective studies, and more coming out all the time (Science!) but more data needs to be analysed.

What is fairly clear is that there is a dramatic reduction in otherwise common mammary cancers by early desexing of females. There is probably some benefit in reducing other cancer risks to later desexng, or not desexing, dogs also.

So do you? Or don’t you?

There’s certainly more incentive to desex female dogs, as even pyometra on its own is a sneaky, life threatening condition. I recommend desexing most female dogs in their senior years if they haven’t already been done for this reason alone.

Assuming you do chose to desex, and I’m talking about procedures that involve at least removal of the gonads, it becomes a matter of when. If you don’t remove the ovaries then you have no benefits from desexing other than infertility. There’s no significant benefit in leaving the ovaries compared to leaving the dog entire.

For a small dog, OSC is incredibly rare. HSARC is rare. MCT can happen to anything. We weight up those relatively low risks compared to the very high risk of mammary cancer and pyometra, and I would advise speying before the first heat. With males timing is not as critical unless behavioural factors are involved.

For a larger dog, I personally think it’s worth delaying desexing to between the first and second heat. I would get too nervous about mammary cancers to wait beyond the second heat but there may be some benefit in preventing osteosarcoma by delaying surgery until more skeletal maturity, and same for cruciate injuries.

(I have a theory that osteosarcoma occurs in its predilection sites due to increased bio-mechanical forces in these areas, so waiting for skeletal maturity before removing the gonads might be helpful.)

On the other hand, screening for hip dysplasia and desexing if the dog definitely has it so you can perform a JPS also has benefits, because you’re addressing pathology the dog definitely has right now.

There are so many unknowns in these hypothetical scenarios. This makes it a challenge to make recommendations when clients just want the ‘right’ answer.

The best plan for the individual dog may depend on breed or breed mix (genetic testing would be ideal, but an added cost) or any known predispositions within the family or bloodlines.

So, this explanation is getting rather long, but there’s so much interesting information on this topic and it’s growing all the time.

Originally posted by mensweardog

TL:DR there is probably a benefit to delayed desexing in dogs prone to OSC, cruciate injury and HSARC. Some of the other risks may be mitigated by weight control. There is minimal if any benefit, and definitely some risk, in delaying desexing for small breeds.

But this field may change as more information is gathered. It will be worth watching over the next decade.

NB: shelters and rescues will always desex as young as possible, because their primary aim is population control. They are justified in doing this and their cases shouldn’t be considered in these scenarios.

(Majority of these statistics come from ‘The spay/neuter controversy’ presented at the OVMA by John Berg, DVM, DACVS and ‘ Long-term health effects of neutering dogs: comparison of Labrador Retrievers with Golden Retrievers‘ by Hart, Hart, et al)

Dr Ferox’s writing time is brought to you by her supporters on Patreon. You can support the blog from as little as $1 a month.

THAT TRAILER JUST SIMULTANEOUSLY DESTROYED MY OVARIES AND MY WILL TO LIVE SO SEND LITERALLY ANY PETER PARKER PROMPT YOU HAVE BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS THAT I NEED TO EXPRESS RIGHT NOW

Introductory to wallah bro 101

*Tells girl they should be modest *
*goes to bars drink alcohol, uploads half naked pictures of himself on I.G*
*wants a wife who cooks*
*doesn’t know how to do laundry*
*can’t even boil water*
*wants someone who wears hijab*
*introduce himself as Mo to everyone even tho his name is Muhammad*
*hates being compared to other people*
*compares women to fruit*
*wants to make more money then his wife(just for the sake of Ego)*
*tells his wife she shouldn’t work because its bad for her ovaries*
*forgets kadijah was the prophets wife*
*wants to marry a virgin*
*forgets kadijah wasn’t a virgin when she married*
*forgets kadijah was making more then the prophet*
*wears short while out with his Niquabi sisters*
*isn’t a virgin himself*
*wants to marry someone who is religious*
* Goes for basic white girl in bio class*
* forces girl to have sex with him*
*tells her I’m looking for someone religious so I can’t be with you *
*thirst over basics*
*shame women of color*
*wants someone who pray *
*Don’t even know what time the prayers come in*

Call Boy II (Taeyong x Reader x Yuta)

HELLO MY FELLOW THIRSTY HOES!!!!!! I AM FINALLY BACK WITH THE LONG AWAITED SEQUAL TO THE THRILLING FIRST INSTALLMENT OF CALL BOY AKA THE DEMISE OF EVERYONE’S OVARIES!!! LMAO For reals though, I’m so excited to share this with all of you because ya’ll have been sO SUPPORTIVE OF ME AND SHITTY WRITING?????? Special thanks to my NCT writers league babes for bouncing ideas with me!!! I love you all so much! ENJOYYYYYYYY!!!!!

P.S. yUTA LITERALLY BLINDS ME WITH HIS FUCKIN SMILE AND TAEYONG COULD HAVE MY CHILDREN LMAO

P.S.S. And yes, I am still the same blog that posted the original Call Boy smut!! I was @chokemewithjaehyunschoker!

Part I

Originally posted by iloveyuta

Life was different now. 


Every morning you woke up, you couldn’t help but feel amazed, was this truly your reality? How did it all possibly work out? It was too good to be true. You’d thought there would be rough patches, jealousy, lust, secrets…but no. It was all laid out on the table, worn on sleeves for all to see.
At least, for the three of you to see.

Not a single soul other than yourselves knew of your tristes, your arrangement. Sometimes you had to sit and think about who people were to you, how your heart felt. You had a boy with whom you were in love with, mind, body, and soul. But then, there was him.

The man which you craved constantly, pleased you, and who you only were attracted to sexually.

You loved Taeyong, he was your perfect boyfriend, your everything. He treated you lovingly, showering all his affection on you, gave his entire self to you, and he pleased you bodily. With Taeyong, sex was a spiritual experience. You swore every time you made love with him, you entered a higher state of bliss, something you didn’t experience with him.

Yuta gave you everything Taeyong wasn’t comfortable with. You simply had to ask Yuta what you wanted and he would deliver, every time. He never failed to make you feel beautiful and adored, his desire for you and yours for him was from some other world. Sex with Yuta was all pleasure, feelings were forbidden.

Sometimes it was so hard not to feel something though.

While Taeyong was fine with you taking, what he called, “lessons” from Yuta, you and him decided on some ground rules. You appreciated how Taeyong put your happiness and safety first, allowing you freedom, but not so much liberty that he would grow worried.

Yuta was forbidden from videoing or photographing you during your intimate times together, you had stated this early on, not wanting to end up on some porn sight, or where friends and family could see you. No one but the three of you were aware of your special situation, and you were keen on keeping it that way.

You weren’t allowed to spend the night with Yuta, unless some emergency called for it, but you’re not sure why you would have to anyway, you’d find a way back to Taeyong even if it killed you.

An obvious rule, but Yuta had to always use protection, Taeyong was the only man allowed the privilege of coming inside of you. You certainly didn’t want any little ones running around that weren’t Taeyong’s, that would be messy for sure.

The final and most thoughtful rule that you and Taeyong had contrived was that only you and him were allowed to have sex in your shared bed. To you, your bed was a sacred place where you and Taeyong not only slept, but shared your most intimate of times, both physically and mentally. So many loving confessions and beautiful moments had taken place there, you wanted them to remain between where you and Taeyong slept side by side. Your bed was the place where Taeyong could call you completely his and where he was yours. No person, no matter how irresistible, could tarnish the sacred space that was your bed.

But still, Yuta was difficult.

As you slid out of the sheets quietly, careful to not disturb Taeyong’s sleeping form, you thought of how Yuta made you feel. Honestly, you had no idea what to think of him. He was a friend, that’s for certain. He was a means for your pleasure too, an added bonus. As you brushed your teeth, you painted the call boy’s handsome features in your mind, tracing his lips and thinking of that bright smile. For all of his sexual prowess, Yuta was still a sweetheart, something you learned rather quickly when you began to see him regularly. You still couldn’t believe though that Taeyong was absolutely fine with you seeing Yuta almost once a week. He put so much faith into you that you felt a certain responsibility, almost like he trusted you too much.

Today was a Yuta day, or so you called it in your head. You walked back into the room and slipped into some nicer lingerie, knowing which was Yuta’s favorite. A pale pink mesh and embroidered set that complimented your smooth skin and left little to the imagination. You slid normal clothes over that, a simple pair of jeans and a warm sweater to help fight off the cold of the winter day.

You padded over lightly to your sleeping boyfriend, brushing the hair from his eyes as you smiled at how cute he looked. He blinked sleepily, a bit confused before he smiled, pulling you down into a kiss. You moved your lips against his lovingly, savoring the taste of his mouth that you were practically addicted to. There was no one who you’d rather kiss than Taeyong, his lips sinful, soft, and perfect. His hands reached up to pull you onto him, not breaking the kiss as he slid his hands over your ass and gave it a squeeze. You giggled against his lips, making him pull away and give you another endearing smile. His morning voice almost made you squeal as he mumbled, “Off already?”


You nodded, running a finger down the bridge of his nose, “Mhm, I thought I’d go early so we could have the rest of the day to ourselves…maybe dress fancy and get some dinner?”

Taeyong’s hands on your ass were rather distracting as you tried to pay attention to his words. He smiled innocently, but his hands said otherwise as they slid into your back pockets, “Sounds good to me.”

Your cheeks flushed, but you bit your lip to hide your smile, “Okay, I’m off then.” He gave your ass one more satisfying smack that left a delicious sting even through your jeans, “Get going then, baby girl. And hurry back.”

You slid off of him, pressing one more kiss to his lips before you headed out the door. You grabbed your coat, and hurried to the train station, anticipation welling up in you as you still felt the sting of Taeyong’s slap on your ass.
~
Yuta lived in a gorgeous apartment one of his wealthier patrons paid for. He never disclosed their name, but obviously they had to be some celebrity or important figure to afford a place like this. He’d recently grown popular, and his prowess became known to higher people, now he was one of the most expensive in the city. It was sleek and modern, dare you say, sexy even. Yuta had embellished the house in his own personal style, each room so him it hurt. After riding an elevator up and up into what seemed like the clouds, you reached Yuta’s floor in the apartment building, an entire floor just for him…and whatever client he was pleasing at the time.

Today it was you, but you were special in your own way. Different because you didn’t pay a dime and was personally invited by the exclusive callboy himself. You didn’t like to admit it, but you always would flush with satisfaction at the thought of this. To know you were more special than even his most well paying clients made you happier than you cared to say.

You pressed the shiny doorbell, able to see your warped reflection in the polished metal. You heard a neat ding sound from within and a pair of footsteps walking eagerly over to the door. You were greeted by an cutely breathless Yuta who looked you over with hungry eyes, “______, nice to see you again, baby girl.”

Your ears rung with the same pet name that Taeyong left you with, you chest feeling odd as you stepped in through the door. You smiled at the callboy, allowing him to take your coat and hang it next to the door, where his own chic coats were located. He looked so beautiful doing such a simple task, the sleeves of his sweater rolled up to reveal his tan forearms. He knew how much you liked it, never failing to be as visually pleasing to you as possible.

He gave you one of his winning and brillant smiles, walking over to a breakfast bar in the kitchen, “I was just making coffee, care for some?”

You nodded eagerly, trying to calm your nerves that you always got coming over, “Yes, please.” This was a new routine of his that he had started recently, inviting you to do something mundane and normal before taking you to his lustrous bedroom. It had confused you at first, but you didn’t think much of it, merely seeing it as him trying to be more of a friend to you, rather than a fuck buddy. You appreciated it, liking this opportunity to know more about who Yuta was and find out his personality.

He brushed his soft brown hair from his face, pouring coffee into two oddly cute mugs and fixing it up how he knew you liked it. He pressed the mug into your hand and leaned a hip against the counter, looking so effortlessly gorgeous, “Rather early for us isn’t it?”

You blushed, never able to adjust to how casual he was about your tristes, “O-oh, yeah. I just had some things I wanted to do later.” You tried not to mention Taeyong around him, only because it felt strange and awkward.

Practically reading your mind, he pressed casually, “With Tae?” His face remained composed, not giving away what his voice did: jealousy.

You nodded not noticing his tone, sipping your coffee nervously, “Yeah, we haven’t gone out for dinner in a while, so it thought it would be nice.”

Yuta set down his mug, having drained his coffee, “Well that sounds nice, I hope you have fun. Now,” his demeanor completely changed, slipping into something a bit more mischievous and dangerous. “Why don’t you tell me a little about what your wearing? I’m a bit curious you see.”

Your face flushed, your own attitude morphing into one more playful and coy, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would,” he countered, pressing both hand onto the countertop in such a dominant way that it made your womanhood ache.

You set down your own mug, trying to remain composed and still unable to detect the apparent jealousy in Yuta’s accented voice, “One of your favorites.”

“Oh?,” he settled back down again, not bristling as much as before. “I’d like a peek.” He smirked leaning against the counter, knowing fully well that you couldn’t stand it when he acted cocky.

Two could play at that game though, you weren’t as quick to give in as before. You’d learned over time how Yuta acted, his mannerisms and tactics, how he got the girl every time. You put your hands behind your back, playfully sauntering away towards where his lux bedroom was, “Why don’t you come find out?”

You didn’t give him time to reply, smiling to yourself as you walked off to his bedroom. He shook his head, mirroring your expression as he allowed you some distance to walk into his room before he followed. How he loved when you teased him back, so much different than the first time he’d fucked you.

Inside Yuta’s naturally lit bedroom, you went to work shedding your clothes and leaving yourself like a little pink present on his silky bed. You adjusted your lingerie, securing the cute dainty bows that kept your bra in place and fixing your panties so Yuta had a view of some cheek. Sprawled out on his bed, Yuta walked in, his gate sauntering and confident.

He licked his lips, seeing you look so eager for him, “I love how you’re so needy, ready to have my cock inside your pretty little pussy.”

It was like a switch, the moment Yuta walked into his bedroom, all semblance of sweetness was gone. Lust and dominance were the only thing running through his mind as he lazily undid the belt on his jeans. Your lids were heavy with want as you murmured, “You know me too well…”

Your voice trailed off as he reached you, threading his fingers through your hair surprisingly gently before yanking it back roughly. He smirked, crawling onto the bed and running his lips over the skin of your throat, “That I certainly do,” he pressed open mouth kisses to your jaw.

“I know what you like,” he whispered, hand releasing your hair to grab your ass and dragging your body to straddle his lap.

“Where you like to be touched,” the call boy smoothed his warm hands over your thighs, squeezing your supple skin. You gasped at the sensitive feeling that raced over your body.

“What turns you on,” Yuta purred as he began to grind to the music he had playing softly in the background of his room. The roughness of his jeans rubbed you so well you couldn’t help the moan that slipped past your parted lips. He let his mouth brush against yours, but didn’t kiss you, just letting the raw feeling of your lips colliding be felt.

“And how you like to be fucked,” he groaned, jeans far too tight for his liking. He pushed you down into the sheets, making quick work of his shirt and pants before he caged you in underneath his frame.

“Don’t I?,” he asked, panting as he continued to rub your clothed crotches together. “Hm, baby girl?”

“Yes,” you gasped, hands finding purchase in his satin sheets as your chest heaved from the feeling of his hips rocking into yours.

Yuta smirked, stopping his movements and letting his hands slip down your body until he found the waistband of your panties. He slipped the skimpy fabric down your legs, admiring the lingerie as it slid down you thighs, “You’re right, they are my favorite.”

“But, as much as I like seeing them on you, baby girl, I much prefer them on my floor,” he simpered, making the wetness between your legs increase as his fingertips skimmed across your inner thigh.

He granted you relief as he spread your wetness with his fingers, making you throw your head back and arch above the bed. The call boy slid two digits in, dragging them wonderfully in and out like he was born to finger fuck you.

“Oh fuck,” you groaned, looking down to watch his fingers doing their good work and looking up at him through your lashes. “You’re so good, baby.”

He smiled cockily, leaning down to kiss you affectionately before he began to rub your sensitive bundle of nerves, “I know. Who else could make you feel as good as me?”

Through your pleasure drunk reverie, you managed to think of your boyfriend, defending his honor. Your struggled to get the words out, lips quivering, “T-taeyong does.” The call boy’s warm brown eyes grew icy, his gaze sharp and piercing, clearly upset by your mentioning of your boyfriend. His fingers became rougher, his touches suddenly painfully pleasurable, so much so that the breath was knocked out of you.

His words were harsh, but they made you moan from the tone he used, “You know how much I hate it when you mention him, sweetheart. Now,” he growled, “Who is finger fucking you right now?”

Tears of pleasure spilled down your cheeks, bed rocking against the wall from the force he was using. “Yuta is! Fuck…!”

“Not my name, kitten. I’ll ask again,” he smirked, fingers curling inside of you and thumb rubbing deliciously on your clit. “Who is fucking you?”

“Daddy!” You choked out, shame settling in your stomach at what Taeyong would think as you suddenly orgasmed. You thought as your toes curled in pleasure at how betrayed he would be and it would be all your fault. Taeyong was your daddy, but Yuta apparently couldn’t bare the thought of that. You don’t know how it happened, here you were only driven by lust and only cared about pleasure.

“That’s right,” Yuta murmured, fingers fast as he rubbed you to completion, groaning in satisfaction at the sight as he rubbed himself through his grey briefs with his free hand. “Such a good girl.”

Through your half lidded gaze, you saw the precum that almost literally seeped through the fabric of his underwear, tongue dragging across your bottom lip as you thought of how hard he must be. You lifted a shaking hand and pushed his larger one aside, rubbing the outline of dick enough to make him groan and tilt his head back from the feeling.

Everything but Yuta flew from your mind at that moment as you slid his briefs down his hard thighs. It was like you were a completely different person, not like yourself at all. The hand that stroked Yuta’s cock wasn’t yours, but it felt so good to be pleasing him, you couldn’t help the words that slipped past your lips, “Daddy, please let me make you feel good.”

Yuta almost came from the earnest look on your cute face, so ready for him, so needy. He whispered, lips parted, “Suck my cock, princess.”

You were already leaning down to take him into your mouth, unable to process anything but feeling of your tongue smoothing across the tip of his dick. He groaned, hips rocking lightly into your mouth as he grabbed your hair and laid back on the headboard. You took him so well, his member fitting into your mouth perfectly.

You sucked him off, your mouth making sounds so lewd that even Yuta’s ears turned a light pink. You coated his dick with your tongue, focusing on the underside near the tip where you knew he liked it the most. You persisted on that spot, relentlessly pressing your tongue on his sweet spot until he literally had to push you off.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned, watching as he took his cock into his own hand and jerked himself off, chasing his release. You watched with a hand immediately rubbing your clit, touching yourself to the same rhythm that Yuta used. You panted, leaning over to connect your lips with Yuta’s as you both pleasures yourself. You took his tongue into your mouth, swapping spit with him as your sucked his wet muscle.

You suddenly gave a high moan, finally coming over your fingers the same time that Yuta’s hand stuttered. His hips bucked into his hand, panting loudly as he squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly came with a long groan. His cum shot onto his toned stomach, long cloudy white stripes that made your mouth salivate as he attempted to prolong his release.

“Holy fuck, baby girl,” he groaned, slipping his tongue into your mouth as he kissed you. The erotic sounds of your wet kisses made your knees weak, cupping his face as you both settled down from your orgasms.

“You made me make such a mess, kitten,” Yuta murmured, eyes still halflidded with lust. “I think you need to clean up.”

You went to go grab your panties, or a towel, to wipe up his release, but he grabbed your wrist, “Lick it off.”

You gave a soft moan at his command, allowing him to sit back so you could straddle his body. Dragging your tongue across his stomach, you licked his cum off, the salty release coating your throat, never able to get used to the taste.

“Such a good girl,” he murmured, stroking your hair as his abs flexed from the feeling of your soft tongue running across his body.

Having cleaned him off to his liking, you sat up and licked the corners of your mouth, gazing with satisfaction at his glistening abs. You smiled, feeling like yourself again, a blush rising to your cheeks, “Did I do well?”

Yuta leaned over and pulled you into a chaste kiss, dragging you down with him to curl up in the sheets, “You were perfect.” He gave you one of his dazzling smiles, wrapping his arms around you and cuddling you in such an innocent way that you couldn’t believe he was the same person.

You pouted and pulled out of his arms, “I can’t today, Yuta.” He went to protest, but you gave him an earnest look, “I have to go home.” You grabbed your clothes, slipping your jeans on, widening your eyes at him for emphasis, “To Taeyong.”

He sulked childishly, like his favorite toy was being taken away, “I wish you could stay.”

“I’m sorry,” you pleaded, already standing in the doorway of his room. “Maybe next time. I need to spend time with Taeyong, okay? I’m worried about him.”

“What do you mean?,” he questioned, propping himself up on his elbows and looking at you quizzically.

You bit your lip, avoiding his warm brown gaze, “I think he’s beginning to feel…concerned.” You gestured between the two of you, “With this.”

Yuta’s face was an expressionless mask, a master at hiding his emotions when he was guarded. His voice was quiet, barely a murmur, “So what is this, _____?”

You swallowed, throat feeling dry, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively as you finally met his eyes, “I don’t know.”

“What even am I to you?,” he mumbled, dropping his eyes and clenching his fists.

You couldn’t answer him because you really didn’t know. Sometimes things felt so natural with Yuta, like it did with Taeyong, easy and happy. Why was he so upset? Didn’t he deal with girls all day? Why was he even asking you that question? You were a means to an end for him, right? You turned away from him, throat already right with your tears, unable to explain how you felt or how he was feeling, “S-see you later.”

“See you later,” he echoed, voice so bitter you tasted it in the tears that were now cascading down your cheeks.

You felt broken, like a piece of you had just been detached and thrown into the garbage. As you grabbed your purse and coat, you pressed your face into his own jacket, inhaling his comforting scent. You don’t know why, but you wanted so desperately to turn back and try to fix things.

You didn’t know how to though.

Was it over?

No, you shook your head, walking down the hall to the elevator with uneasy steps. You took a quivering breath, pressing a hand to your mouth as you tried to take in what had just happened.

Get back to Taeyong, you thought, comforting yourself with the imagine of your boyfriend’s comforting arms.

~

Home really wasn’t a place, it was a person, and Taeyong was home. You had calmed down on your train ride home, not wanting Taeyong to know about what had transpired at Yuta’s apartment.

You embraced him the moment you walked through the door, burying your face into his chest. He looked pleasantly surprised, embracing you back warmly, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you murmured into his shirt, closing your eyes and absorbed the feeling of his arms around you. “I just realized how much I missed you.”

Taeyong smiled, tilting your chin up and kissing your lips passionately, “It’s only been a few hours though.” He helped you with your coat, “I thought that we could just stay in tonight. I’ll make some dinner.”

You felt relieved at his suggestion, “That sounds so nice.”

“Good,” he grinned, “because I’ve already started making the food.”

You laughed and followed him to the kitchen, heart feeling a little lighter. Taeyong stood before the stove, mixing the sauce he was making for what appeared to be spaghetti, his back looking so strong and broad.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your face into his back and rocking him gently, “I love you, Taeyong.”

He turned around in you hold, brows furrowing, “What’s gotten into you, sweetheart? Did something happen at Yuta’s place?” He looked suspicious now, subtly inspecting your body for any signs of hurt just in case.

“I’m telling you, nothing happened,” you lied, swallowing the lump in your throat as your boyfriend looked at you critically. If he knew you were lying, he didn’t tell you, instead murmuring a quiet, “Okay.”

Taeyong had known for a while, known that Yuta was beginning to feel something for you. He didn’t say anything though, knowing you were obviously oblivious to the fact the call boy cared for you in a not so friendly way. Taeyong hadn’t called his friend out on it yet, biding his time and waiting to see if Yuta would actually respect the fact that you were his. Apparently not though, he could tell that something had happened and you were now probably aware of Yuta’s feelings for you.

He had a plan though, a risky one. But it might be the only thing that could keep you as his, and not his call boy friend’s.

The rest of the evening went rather smoothly, Taeyong not giving away the fact that he was scheming something. You relaxed easily throughout the night, forgetting Yuta as you lost yourself in your boyfriend. You didn’t even realize that Taeyong already knew, oblivious when he subtly texted a certain someone on his phone while the two of you were snuggling on the couch.

Twenty or so minutes passed and you felt sleepy, suddenly tired from the wear and tear of the day. You craned your head up and kissed Taeyong’s jaw, eliciting a smile from him, “Wanna head to bed, babe?”

“Sure, baby girl,” he smirked, nuzzling into your neck and pressing a kiss there, “Mind if I get my fair share today though?”

You blushed coyly, a mischievous smile on your lips, “Of course, baby.”

You slid off of Taeyong’s lap, allowing him to give you a firm smack on your ass as he sped you off to your room, “Wait for me, naked, on the bed. Understand?” You nodded and pranced off towards your bedroom, suddenly feeling the familiar need for Taeyong’s touch and of his body.

Once you were in your room and he heard the door close, he stood up at once, walking over to the front door of your apartment and opening it quietly.

“Yuta,” Taeyong gave a curt nod, taking in the appearance of the always immaculate call boy.

“Taeyong,” Yuta murmured, almost unable to meet his friends gaze.

“You know why you’re here?,” your boyfriend questioned, raising an eyebrow and allowing him entrance into the apartment. He shut the door silently, hand firm on the door handle.

Yuta looked slightly taken aback by his friend’s bluntness, but bristled with defiance, “Yes.”

Taeyong nodded, as if he respected Yuta’s determination, “Then I shouldn’t have to explain. Let’s just get on with it.”

“May the best man win,” Yuta murmured, his warm brown eyes cold enough to mirror Taeyong’s own icy gaze.

~

You weren’t surprised Taeyong was taking so long, to be honest he probably was cleaning up dinner because he couldn’t bear to leave it out. You smiled to yourself, sitting up in bed and pulling his favorite blanket around you. Inhaling his scent, you thought of how much Taeyong really meant to you, that you could bear being in a world without Yuta.

Maybe.

All those comforting thoughts flew out the door the moment, said call boy walked through your bedroom door. You gave a startled cry, “Yuta?!”

He didn’t say a word, simply crawling onto the bed with the eyes of a lion sizing up his prey. You shuffled back, hitting the head board as you searched for something to defend yourself with. Scrambling eyes met a familiar pair at the door and you sagged in relief, “Tae-”

Yuta interrupted you with his mouth, connecting his lips to yours in what was a familiar dance. You knew the way Yuta kissed up and down, but you weren’t prepared for how roughly he bit your lip and cupped your face. The call boy was a lover, but you’d never seen him treat you this passionately, or this roughly.

You whimpered into his mouth, allowing his tongue to slide in as his hands wandered over your naked body and pull the blanket away. Your eyes sought Taeyong, but your boyfriend was busy undressing himself, allowing you a glimpse of his absolutely gorgeous body. You watched him intently, allowing Yuta to do most of the work as you lusted over the incredible bulge that strained against your boyfriend’s grey briefs. How badly you wanted Taeyong in that moment, you couldn’t say, mainly because Yuta was preoccupying your time with his devilish mouth.

“Oh, Yuta,” you breathed, the boy’s mouth running down your neck and sucking hickeys there, painfully dark bruises blossomed along your neck like some type of erotic flower.

“Hm,” he hummed, savoring the taste of your skin and the amount of solo time Taeyong was allowing him to be with you.

You felt like you were swimming in affection and pleasure, Yuta’s mouth and hands sinful, and his expression to die for. He almost purred when you slid your hands down his chest and caressed the bulge in his pants, whispering your name, “_______.”

Your core ached for Yuta, and so did your heart for some odd reason. But the moment you felt more weight be added to the bed, all thoughts flew form your mind.

Taeyong had a kind of dominance and power that even made other guys intimidated by his prescience and charisma. When something was his, or he was in his own home, this dominance amped up ten notches. And for some reason, when he was in this mood, you would become increasingly more submissive, eager to see what he would do and ready to comply as well.

Yuta could feel power emanating from Taeyong, but remained steadfast. Always the gentleman, he moved aside so that your boyfriend could capture your lips and cage you into his embrace. You let him slide his tongue over your neck, shivering from the feeling, your hips automatically coming up to grind gently against his.

“Baby girl,” he murmured, his breath ghosting over your skin. “Let me take care of you.”

You nodded, hands snaking up around his neck as his hand wandered down to tease your now throughly soaked lower lips. You whimpered pitifully, arching into Taeyong so as to feel more of his bare skin against yours, “Please, Daddy.”

He hushed you gently, slipping a finger into your awaiting womanhood and rubbing your sensitive bundle of nerves deliciously, “Patience, kitten,” he chided, thrusting a finger in and out of you, “Daddy will make you feel good, don’t worry.”

He added another finger, shooting a secret smirk over to Yuta who was pouting and undressing himself, right now he wasn’t doing so good trying to win you over. He palmed his erection, watching the way Taeyong’s long fingers slid in and out of you so easily. He grew harder as the sound of your whimpers and moans reached his ears, daring to crawl over to you and kiss you lips. Surprisingly Taeyong let him, being the nice guy who actually never finished last, this didn’t worry him too much.

Yuta brushed your hair from your face lovingly, making your heart swell in your passion as he smiled at you, “Does that feel good, princess?” You nodded and he sighed, looking at you wryly, “Too bad you’re going to feel even better when I put my hands on you.”

You quivered from his words, “Kiss me Yuta,” he waited, obviously wanting obedience, “Please!”

He smiled again, coming down to kiss you so beautifully it hurt. Yuta kissed you like the movies, where it seemed just too magical to happen in real life. Well, Yuta made that fantasy a reality and kissed you like two movie stars would embrace in the rain after having been separated for years.

Taeyong watched this with narrowing eyes, continuing to pleasure you as you liked, and feeling your shaky hand rub him through his briefs. It was enough to satiate him for now, but he felt jealousy beginning to bubble up inside of him.

Yuta had taken the liberty of caressing your breasts, giving them hard squeezes in his warm hands, his head leaning down to suck on your peaks. You mewled and arched into his mouth, body going into overdrive as the pleasure overwhelmed you. Taeyong sped up his fingers, thrusting them so hard into you that you rocked back and made the headboard knock against the wall. He dipped his head down and attached his lips to your clit, sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves until you were begging for him to let you come.

“Daddy, please!,” you squirmed, latching onto Yuta’s hair with your hands. “Let me come, let me come, let me come, let-”

You threw your head back in a silent scream, the air leaving your lungs as your orgasm washed over you, body brimming with the heavy feeling of release.

“What a good girl,” Yuta simpered, pressing kisses over your face and neck as you let out ragged breathes while Taeyong prolonged your orgasm.

After what seemed like minutes, Taeyong continued to finger fuck and suck on your clit, the overpowering feeling of overestimulation causing your thighs to twitch. Your voice was shaky and tears plunged down your cheeks, “S-stop, please…enough.” Weak hands attempted to push Taeyong away, but he was strong and gripped your thighs tightly, eager to bring you to a second orgasm by his hands and tongue.

And so you did, body shaking uncontrollably as Taeyong made you come for the second time, the hypnotic taste of your essence on his tongue as he groaned into your womanhood. Yuta moaned at the sight, jerking off his weeping cock until precum leaked down his hands and he ached to be inside of you, feeling the way your walls tightened around him.

The call boy couldn’t help himself as Taeyong pulled away from your center, who licked the corners of his mouth and saw the desperate expression on his friend’s face. He quirked his head, “What’s wrong Yuta,” he said as he pulled his briefs off and positioned himself at your entrance as he flipped you over. “Giving up?”

Yuta gritted his teeth, looking at the way your eyes silently pleaded for him to stay, to keep going. You didn’t say it, but he knew you thought of it.

You didn’t want just one man in your life, you loved two.

“Yuta,” you whimpered, reaching out a hand to grasp his slick cock, “Please.”

His hands trembled, looking up at Taeyong with fire, “Never.”

With that, Taeyong slid inside of you, eliciting one of the most disgustingly satisfied sounds from you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head and your jaw dropped, giving Yuta the opportunity to carefully insert his member into your mouth. You gagged at first, tears pricking at your eyes as you relaxed your throat and let Yuta slide his cock in deep.

You hummed around him, and everytime Taeyong rocked into you, Yuta slid further down your throat. It felt like you’d never been in a more erotic situation and you felt like an absolute slut, but you couldn’t help the way you felt.

Yuta spoke your thoughts, “See Taeyong? ______ is a slut who is so selfish she can’t have just one man to herself.”

Taeyong let out a small grunt from the amount of power he was putting into his thrusts, head tilting back in ecstasy as he replied, “I knew it all along.” He brought a hand down onto your ass so that it jiggled before his eyes, “I say she should get just what she asked for, what do you think?”

Yuta smirked, grabbing your head with both hands so he could control how deep you took him, “She deserves that and more.” Something changed between the two of them, instead of two opposing forces, they were one against you.

Your chin dribbled with spit, Yuta showing no mercy as he fucked your mouth, letting out ragged moans whenever your teeth would graze his length. You didn’t understand what they meant at all, had you been tricked? You didn’t have much time to think, your body getting pummeled from both sides as you were stretched wide by Taeyong and deep throated Yuta. You felt so incredibly dirty, but it felt oh so good.

Taeyong reached around your hips, rubbing your clit so as to drive you toward your third release of the night, knowing your body was close to its breaking point. The lewd sounds of your wet choking and skin slapping against skin filled the air, causing your legs to tremble as they attempted to keep you up.

You felt so, so close.

Yuta could tell, urging your on with his words as he drew close as well, “Is that good princess? You like choking on my cock and getting your tight little pussy stretched by Taeyong’s too? Do you like getting fucked like this?”

You let out a stifled wail around his member as you came for the third time, the vibrations causing Yuta to release into your mouth with a loud groan as well. Taeyong sped up until he was practically fucking you at an animalistic pace, his hips snapping into a stuttering halt as he came inside of your dripping center, groaning, “Fuck, baby girl.”

You breathed hard through your nose as you Yuta pulled his member from your mouth, feeling as Taeyong kissed down your spine before pulling out gingerly too. His cum dripped down your legs, and Yuta, still eager to please you licked it all right up until he came to your sensitive center. He sucked lazily on you and lapped at your folds like a kitten while Taeyong massaged your tense body and kissed you passionately. Your mind felt absolutely fuzzed out, body alight with pleasure and only able to process your mouth moving against Taeyong’s and your hips shifting softly into Yuta’s mouth as he tasted you.

It felt like hours before you found yourself tucked between the two of them, dazed and confused. You looked at the both of them, who sandwiched you and let their fingers trail down your body languidly, “Why?”

“Why what?,” Taeyong echoed, arching a dark brow and allowing one of your hands to comb through his jet black hair. “Is there something wrong?”

“Weren’t you mad at Yuta?,” you murmured, reaching for the call boy’s hand instinctively, to which he squeezed back reassuringly.

Said call boy smiled at you gently, the afterglow of sex making him look like a god, “We had a talk. I admit that I did cross the line and let my feelings get in the way a few times, but I can’t help the way I feel.” He kissed your temple softly, “The way I feel about you, _____.”

Taeyong wore a lazy smile at seeing your confused expression, “So the truth finally comes out.” You looked completely shocked, so he traced your Cupid’s bow with his finger, “_______, if you’re open to it. Yuta and I are willing to try something else, a different kind of relationship.”

Your heart leaped at just the thought, thinking you’d finally be able to be happily with both the men you loved, but stuttered in hesitation, “B-but what about family, Taeyong? Marriage?”

Yuta spoke up, “We decided that Taeyong should be the ‘official boyfriend’ and perhaps one day, even your husband. He knew you first and best after all.”

“And you’re okay with this Yuta?,” you asked, resting a hand on his cheek.

He held your hand against his face, kissing your palm sweetly, “I think I am. As long as I can be with you I’ll be perfectly happy.”

“So,” Taeyong nudged you, grabbing back your attention. “Are you willing to try?”

You nodded, pulling the both of them into an embrace as you kissed their heads and felt completely at peace. You knew last time you felt like this was when you first slept with Yuta and Taeyong together, but it felt different now. You felt more sure, even more content, and knew that everything truly was going to work out this time.

So you drifted off, Taeyong nuzzled into neck and Yuta curling up into your side. Interlacing your fingers with theirs and waking up in the same position in the morning, the dawn breaking on your new life. A life even more different than before.

But you could just feel it.

Everything was going to be okay.

Daddy Of The Day:

Kuroshitsuji ✨

TBBT: The Gyroscopic Collapse (10x23)

If you haven’t watched, SPOILERS ahead!!!

Omg!!! 😲😲😲 Mayor episode for Shamy lovers here and a wonderful episode all around. It has lingered in my mind ALL day and threw me into total fangirl mode! 🚑 In my top 3 now, for sure!!! Some random thoughts will follow but mostly in-depth discussion of Pasadena's favorite power couple. Be forewarned, it will probably be like Sheldon’s list of Comic-Con guests. 😂 I will start with a short summary and then dive into it. If you just want the Shamy goodness, jump to 4.

1. Celebration around the kitchen island in 4A:

The episode starts with the gang all reunited in good spirits. Happiness was bubbling out as the guy’s boasted of their accomplishments, except for left out Raj. I couldn’t help feeling nostalgic at the view seeing that our favorite cast is close to being off the air during their usual summer hiatus and knowing there is one episode left this season. 😢 And while I’m looking forward to the next episode, I’m also drafting the hiatus. Also, I felt a bit sad that Raj can’t celebrate any accomplishment lately. I’ve said it before and will say it again, they need to do some justice to this character. Crossing fingers for the next 2 seasons for Raj. 

2. Next scenes:

While the girls spend time with Raj, the guys head to work. They are met with the disillusion that their project has been taken away from them after all the hard work. (That really does suck 😠). Seeing the guys return with their spirits deflated after having been so happy moments ago was crushing. Nothing ever goes quite right for our guys. 

In the meantime, we have learned that Raj is moving out and Amy has been offered the internship in Princeton. The guys return to share their bummer and after hearing Sheldon say he feels betrayed, Amy understandably clams up her news about the internship. (Her face throughout this whole scene says she was struggling with how to share this with Sheldon.) I am so glad for once no one let the secret out before she was ready to talk to Sheldon one on one.  

Raj’s news is shared and we learn that he will be moving into Bert’s garage. Not sure how I feel about this. Don’t get me wrong, I like Bert. But we have seen him various times in season 10 and in the meantime, I’m missing more action with Stuart and would love to see some of our other favorites guests. Where the hell are Wil and Kripke for example? I don’t know, mixed feeling. It could bring comedic value but I don’t think it will do much to develop Raj’s character more.

BONUS: Leonard’s line after entering the wrong apartment: She might disappear but she’s definitely not cleaning. LMAO!!!

3. Howardette, clingy and adorable:

Howie vents to his wife who tried to console him with Neil Diamond. He refuses thinking it will get Bernie “sexed up”. 😂 Bernadette's face reads more like “yeah, right”. The rest of the episode we get clingy Howard who wants to snuggle his wife to death and a Bernadette that cringes to his every effort.

It’s funny but oh-so-cute! 😍 I love all the shows couples and enjoy when the writers explore these real dynamics in a realistic but positive way because I believe that conflict can also be growth opportunities. (Which is why I’ve had too many issues to discuss here with the way they are writing Lenny this season. I’m surprised (and grateful) they didn’t have them argue this episode again.

Bernie decides to have an honest conversation with her hubby about it and discovers in the process that she is more similar to her husband than she initially thought and has dealt thru similar circumstances in not the healthiest ways either. 😒 Funny how in relationships we are quick to notice when our partner is somehow walking a slippery slope but can’t see it in ourselves.

BONUS: Bernadette shares with the girls how Howard wanted to get a mammogram at the same time as her like if it was a couple’s massage. Lol. Really creepy but so damn hilarious. 😂😂😂

4. The cat is out of the bag:

Amy’s making Sheldon breakfast in their apartment. Sheldon is still visibly down regarding the quantum gyroscope. She doesn’t have the heart to break the news to him although she certainly was preparing everything to have that conversation. 

Mayim’s acting out of this scene is as real as it can get. While the script kept it light it also needed to portray her struggle. She managed both effectively with her facial expressions, her voice and her timing which were all perfect. 

Sheldon is able to appreciate Amy’s care in her gesture of not only making him oatmeal but making his favorite kind, plain. There is significance there. Plain because he feels comfort in familiarity. She is his secure “spot”. Keep this in mind with what’s about to develop. He’s hit with the realization of just how important she is to his life. Now, we the fandom knew this. But this was, I feel, an a-ha moment for Sheldon where he compliments her with these 4 lines:

You are so kind. (She’s the sweetest cinnamon roll to pure for this world)
I don’t know how I ever got by without you. (She’s the dryer sheets of his heart)
I’ve come to realize, I’m completely dependent on you. (Awww, he needs her)
To wake up every morning and know you are there is a great comfort to me. (She’s his oatmeal)

How do you do it? (I feel he meant all of the above and not just the oatmeal.)

Those are some heavy love declarations!!! Write that on a postcard and you have the most romantic letter ever. 😉 Each of these lines is delivered with raw honesty by Jim. They are subtle, intentional and sweet. By now I’m not only watching this to be entertained, my feels begin to act out and I’m praying this won’t turn into another cruel Molaro joke because Amy has deserved this for a long time. Poor girl is trying to comfort Sheldon and humbly downplays each compliment, afraid of his reaction and knowing this will be hard for him. 

Amy could’ve gotten away with this if it had been the Sheldon of years ago. But this Sheldon is in love with Amy. 😏 And he still can’t read social clues well with other people but with Amy is different. He knows something is off as soon as she doesn’t show enthusiasm for their own experiment.

Has something changed? Is there something you are not telling?

And she finally breaks the news after a perfectly timed pause.

And now it’s him with a perfectly timed pause. His face, omg!!! 😢

You could read it all in 2 seconds and my heart broke for him. 💔 Thank goodness for good writing, I cried but giggled in the same breath.

BONUS: “You have to go. This is important… So are you….” 🚑🚑🚑

5. Sheldon has the Blues (in an apartment as empty as his heart):

Raj and Leonard find a harmonica playing Sheldon with the blues because “my baby done left me”. BTW, love that Texan cowboy accent anytime. 🔥 Hoo! The guys are sweet and try to help until Raj accidentally suggests Sheldon can go back to his old room leading to a hilarious moment. Leonard asked to speak to him in the hallway and slammed the door in his face, LMAO!!! 😂😂😂 Mean but effective.

I really appreciated in this scene Leonard and Sheldon sitting on the floor and having a “man to man” talk. We get to remember that in spite of their differences, these 2 really bond and love each other like true brothers. 😊 Leonard was compassionate and showed concern. Sheldon was so sad! Still being Sheldon, he took Leonard to mean he needed to trick Amy into staying though. 😆 So glad he didn’t go that route.

6.  Loving and Supportive Boyfriend:

Sheldon enters the apartment with a good quality luggage presenting it as a peace offering of sorts. 

We all know he hates gift giving which made my heart flutter thinking he left the empty apartment with harmonica in his pocket, went to a store and told an employee how his girlfriend had to leave and he wanted the best luggage they had for her.This is exactly what happened - That’s why he said the salesman at the store had told him the luggage could survive a crash. 

Then he carried down the street with all eyes on him and up the stairs thinking every step of the way of what he would say to be supportive and how much he wanted to make love to her because he would miss her. 😢😢😢 Let THAT sink in. 😭😭😭 

He opens by explaining to Amy Leonard had pointed out how he wasn’t always loving and supportive. (Take you own advice, Leonard. Sheldon has come a long way.) He then lets her know “It’s a wonderful opportunity and you need to take it”. He knows this is important for her and unselfishly decides to let her go freely, earning him a sincere kiss from Amy which he gently returned stroking her arms. tears, tears, tears…..

What followed was the moment the fandom has been waiting for… Sheldon wants to make love to her and IT’S NOT HER BIRTHDAY. Coitus just because he wants to be intimate and wants to please her and be pleasured. He needs her and wants to, using his words, “make love”! Can you hear that??? The sound of fangirls yelling simultaneously near a heart attack! 🚑🚑🚑 HE FREAKING LED HER TO THE BEDROOM!!! 😲 BY THE HAND!!! 😲 INSERT OVARIES EXPLODING HERE… 💣💣💣💥💥💥 

If that wasn’t enough, their frenzied lovemaking turned out to be a moment we all wanted. Loud enough for Raj, Lenny and us to hear. It may be weird but I so wanted that because we are all Penny. By what we heard, they were having fun and getting freaky! (Btw, the naughty vixen totally rode that cowboy! 😉 Sorry. 🙊🙈🙉) 

BONUS: I’m just warning you, if you find yourself 3000 miles away craving a hit of this, I can’t Skype it to you. 😂😂😂 

7. It’s so hard to say goodbye: 

Sweet Shelley, being the southern gentleman he is, walks Amy down the stairs. He takes that opportunity to go over what he needs from her to make this separation more bearable. He wants her to: 

  • Text when she’s at the airport 
  • Text when she’s at the gate 
  • Text if she find GOT actors
  • Skype when she gets there Skype every morning
  • Remember he’s proud of her and supports her
  •  And of course, if she runs into another version of him but with Thor hair… step away and call him asap 

What he’s really saying is you haven’t left yet and I already miss you. 😍

In summary, a perfect episode with funny moments, great cast interactions, some sarcastic zingers we love, but also lots of character development and some fluffy scenes. I’m also so happy it was finally about Amy and in a good way. Thank you writers! 👐 

Plus, being the Sheldon lover I am, gym parsons body will kill me. His butt when he walks aways from Amy at breakfast, his arms and chest when he is kissing her, his hands caressing her arms and back, and of course, his sexy face and eyes when he says “or, we can fold them”!!! Hot Damn, he is fine AF!!!

Things for the writers to think about going forward are: how will Raj do with his upcoming living arrangement and will they finally address the development of his character? Will Lenny continue in a good place? How will Shamy do with the long distance thing? Will this be another revelation for Sheldon once he misses her enough or will this be another disaster waiting to happen - (I think they can get through this)? What will happen with the guys’ project? What will Howard do now that his money making idea is no longer his thing? Aaaaand, where the hell is Stuart, lol? 


DM if you need me and please, no spoilers in the comments of this review. A very special thanks to my lovely friend @platypus-quacks-too for some of the gifs. Timing wasn’t on our side for our usual collab but I’m grateful for the talented @tbbt-faves - whom I’m collaborating with for the first time and allowed me to use her gifs in this review. I have been a fan and follower and I’m thankful for her work and to have her blessing in using most of the gifs in this review. Go follow these talented people.

Bye fandom!! I will once again go into hiding/ninja mode until the finale. Read you all after that. Love you all!! 

anonymous asked:

Tampon help? I'm new to tampons and periods in general!

A Beginner’s Guide to Periods

General Information

The most important thing to remember is that everybody’s body is different. Don’t be alarmed if your first few periods aren’t what you thought they would be, just go with the flow and give your body what it needs.

Duration: Periods vary greatly in length. Normally they last about a week, but I once met a woman whose period was only 4 days! Mine is 8 days.

Occurrence: Periods are monthly events for most people, and will typically happen during the same timeframe each month. If you have your period on the 14th of this April, odds are that you will have it again around the 14th of May, and so on.

Irregular periods: Some women do not experience a monthly period, or even a bi-monthly period. My period came every two months before I started birth control, which is not ideal. If you have an irregular period you may want to talk to your doctor about regulating it with birth control.

Colors: You will notice a myriad of different colors during your period! Darker blood (almost brown colored) is older uteral lining that was shed several hours previously, while redder blood is freshly shed. You will probably start your period with brown blood, move through your heaviest days with red, and end again on brown. 

Flow: Flow is what we ladies call the rate at which we bleed during our periods. You will need to use different types of pads/tampons to help accommodate the flow changes throughout your period (see tampons/pads/cups).

  • Females typically start and end their periods with very light flow and/or spotting.
  • Every single female I have ever spoken to has told me that her period is heaviest during its second day. I can’t state that this is a scientific fact, but expect that this will be the case for you.
  • Many women experience “false ends” during the last day or two of their periods. You may experience a large amount of time with no bleeding (I actually go an entire day), and may think that your period has ended and that it’s safe to wear nice panties again. WRONG. Your period will return!

Spotting: Spotting is any light vaginal bleeding which occurs at any time other than when a period is due. There are so many reasons why it may happen, most of them hormone related. If you are spotting on a regular basis, call your OBGYN.

Cramps: Cramps are typically experienced in the early stages of your period. You can get them before your period starts (a harbinger of times to come) or even during the first few days of your period. They vary from imperceptible to cripplingly painful. You can’t really do much to temper them, so this is a time for you to focus on yourself being comfortable (see below).

Pregnancy: No you cannot get pregnant while on your period! 

Sex: Yes you can absolutely have sex on your period, and I recommend that you do. Vaginas are at their most stimulated and sensitive during menstruation (not to mention lubed up and ready to go) and period sex is AMAZING. That said, always talk to your significant other about what they’re comfortable with, and remember to use a towel!

Pads/Tampons/Cups

There are so many options when it comes to caring for yourself while on your period! Try out different brands and types of feminine hygiene products to find what works best for you.

Pads

  • Pads are the perfect product for a period beginner, or else someone who is uneasy touching “down there”.
  • They vary in thickness and size, and Always is my favorite brand. You’ll want to use thicker pads for your heavy flow days, lighter pads for your lighter days. The product bag will tell you how many hours each pad is good for, and they’re very accurate representations of when you will need to change your pad.
  • It’s a good idea to buy at least two different thicknesses of pads so that you’ll be able to transition through your period with ease. 
  • You do not need to remove your pad whenever you use the restroom.
  • Pads do not expire, and how many you use depends on what your body needs. If you don’t use an entire pack, save the rest for next month!
  • How to use pads.
  • NEVER BUY SCENTED PADS. 

Tampons

  • Tampons are my go-to feminine hygiene product! I prefer them to pads because pads make me feel like I have two tons of cotton stuffed down my undies. Tampons are virtually undetectable when used properly, I sometimes forget I have them in!
  • You may choose to use a light pad in addition to a tampon. This ensures that the tampon is placed properly and that nothing leaks out. 
  • Like pads, tampons vary in thickness. As they get thicker they get bigger in length. Light tampons are very small, while heavy tampons can be as long and thick as your ring finger. Tampax sells an assortment of tampons that is ideal for transitioning through your flow patterns.
  • I typically go through about half a box of tampons per period.
  • In my experience, store brand tampons are less comfortable than name brand ones like Tampax. Do what works for you!
  • You do not need to remove tampons when using the restroom, but some women opt to. If you choose not to remove your tampon, make sure that the tampon’s string is tucked out of the way when you do your business. I like to hold the string aloft while I pee, to ensure that it doesn’t get wet.
  • How to use tampons. This video is a little silly, but does a good job at thoroughly explaining inserting tampons.
  • NEVER BUY SCENTED TAMPONS.

Cups

  • I have personally never used cups, but I didn’t want to leave them out because they’re becoming increasingly popular.
  • Unlike tampons and pads that have to be discarded after being used, cups can be washed and reused for many years. 
  • This makes them environmentally friendly and 100% cost efficient, because you don’t have to keep going out and buying more every other month. Note that cups will cost significantly more than tampons or pads for this very reason.
  • How to use a cup.

Dealing With Cramps

The rumors are true! Cramps are painful, frustrating, and tiring to deal with. Your ovaries take turns releasing eggs, so you will notice that your cramps will alternate on left and right sides of your body. One side always hurts more than the other!

I highly recommend taking some time off when your cramps first hit. I understand that we all have busy lives and cannot just opt out of obligations. In that case, you absolutely need to tell your female coworkers or fellow students what is going on. 

  • Take aspirin. Cramps don’t all come at once, so make sure to take an aspirin ASAP after experiencing your first wave. You’re not called on to deal with that much pain without light medication.
  • Hot water. This can be in the form of a shower, hot water bottle, even a bath if you can stand it. This helps relax your muscles and therefore relieves the cramps. Btw, women don’t bleed while in water, for whatever weird reason. Take a shower and see what I mean.
  • Chocolate: Get those endorphins flowing! I find that I crave fatty, salty, and sugary foods during my period, and I allow myself to follow those cravings.
  • Tea: Brew yourself a cup of your favorite herbal tea to help relieve some of those cramps. Coffee not so much.
  • Back rub: Ask your significant other (or a good friend) for a back rub to help relieve pain. Have them focus on the lower part of your back, taking special care to massage around your abdominal area.  
  • R&R: Lay on your couch or bed and watch some Netflix. Or else, do something that doesn’t require a lot of cognitive thought. Let your body relax while not doing any physical exertion. 
  • Sleep: If all else fails and you’re feeling miserable, allow yourself a two hour nap. 
  • Birth control: If you have severe/crippling cramps please please please talk to your OBGYN about birth control. Birth control can help reduce the painfulness and length of your menstrual cramps.
Children and secrets part two

I suggest you read part one first.

Originally posted by totalfanfreak

Originally posted by thatfunnyweirdindiechick

Y/n sat in the back of the car while Spencer sat in front, their fight forgotten in the rush of trying to safe probably three people. As the car stopped, and all the FBI agents hopped out, pulling their guns, Y/n took a deep breath, a habit she had made. She knew this could be her last breath of fresh air. She hoped it wouldn’t be, but if it was, she would be ready. Or at least, almost. “Spence, I love you.” She whispered as Spencer Reid stood besides her, waiting for the sign to invade the house. “I love you too.” Spencer said, glancing down at the girl who still looked straight at the house. Hotch gave a sign, Morgan kicked down the door and everyone stormed inside like bees. Y/n, Prentiss and Spencer went to the small upstairs. There were only two rooms, but it was obvious in which room they were. Y/n nodded her head in that direction and kicked the door open. “Put down the weapon!” Emily called at the middle aged brunette who was holding a knife. A man and a woman laid on the ground, eyes open and full of fear, paralyzed by a drug. A baby boy was in the arms of the woman, knife pressed to it’s neck. He was crying softly. “Helen, You do not want to do this.” Y/n said, gun still pointed. “I do. They can not be happy and rubbing it in my face while I am not.” She said, voice cracking. Lowering her gun, Y/n stepped closer. “I know why you aren’t happy. You lost your child.” Helen lowered the knife. “Chase.” She whispered. “And your husband.” The woman let a tear fall. “I know you can’t have children, not anymore.” Helen got an angry expression, pressing the knife back to the boy’s throat. “I know how that feels.” Y/n said, putting her gun away. “You don’t! I’m sure you have a lot of children! liar!” Helen called. “I know what it feels like. I want children, really bad. But I can’t. Do you know why?” Helen shook her head. “When I was young, I got in a shooting, lost my dad. Got shot in the stomach. Lost my ovary’s. I know how much it hurts to not being able to have a child.” Y/n swallowed, seeing how Spencer slightly lowered his gun. “I can help you, you don’t have to hurt the baby. You don’t have to hurt anyone.” She whispered. Helen was silently crying, she dropped the knife, and was about to drop the baby when Y/n swiftly took him out of her hands. Emily sped to the woman, pulling her hands behind her back. Spencer called for an ambulance and Y/n focussed on making the baby silent again. “Shht… It’s okay. I am here, Mommy and Daddy will be fine. Just be quiet. You are safe now.” She cooed, rocking the baby and smiling, even though she didn’t feel like it. 


As the baby and his parents went to the hospital, Y/n watched them leave, knowing she couldn’t avoid Spencer any more. “Y/n, Why didn’t you tell me? We have been dating for almost six years.” Spencer sounded hurt, but Y/n was tired, and not in the mood to talk. “Don’t act so butt-hurt, Spencer. I never told anyone. Not even my best friends know. I am tired, and probably emotional. I am going to sleep. We can discuss this later.” But Spencer couldn’t wait, he wasn’t angry, just… Feeling. “No, Y/n. We are going to talk now.” She rolled her eyes. “Fine. When I was young, I got in a fight my stupid-ass dad caused and got shot in my lower stomach. I had three surgery’s, first lost one ovary, later the second because of a mistake my bitch of surgeon had made. I lived, what was a miracle. I knew I would never have children. My mother and I left the town, it was full of bad memories anyways. We moved far away and I never told anyone about my lost organs. Happy now?” She asked, feeling sad after telling her own story. “No, why didn’t you tell me?” She took a deep breath, she knew why, she just didn’t want to say it. “Because I love you. I know you wanted children, and I didn’t want to dispoint you, I didn’t want you to leave me. I didn’t want to break again.” A tear, the first tear he had ever seen from her, rolled over her cheek. “I would never leave you. There are other options. We can adopt.” He smiled and wiped away her tear. “I love you, and for some lost organs, I wouldn’t leave you.” 


A few months had passed, Spencer and Y/n were closer then before, partly because her secret wasn’t between them anymore. Spencer, however had been away a lot, recently. Y/n knew he wasn’t cheating, she just wanted to know what he was doing. So, she decided to ask during dinner. “Spence, I noticed you have been away a lot, lately. What’s up with that? Your mother?” She asked. He looked nervous, but shook his head. “No, no. I am planning something. Tomorrow, actually.” Y/n smiled and got curious. “Well, I’ve found out, so tell me.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Wait until tomorrow.”


The next day came too slow, in Y/n’s opinion. How much she begged, how much she said ‘fight me’, it didn’t matter, as he didn’t way anything and just looked amused. When the morning came, Y/n took revenge, waking up Spencer before the sun had woken up. However, he as still in a good mood. Around noon, he said she should get in the car. She did, happy to finally know what was going on. She was rather surprised when the orphanage came in view, and they stopped there. “What are we doing here?” She asked with a raised brow. Spencer only grinned and got out. 

“Oh, mister Reid. This must be miss Y/l/n?” He nodded. “Yes, she would like to meet her.” He said with a smile. “meet who? What is going on?” Y/n said, beyond confused. “Isobell. We thought you’d like to meet her before you sign.” The woman said before walking off. “Who is Isobell? What are we signing for?” Spencer didn’t answer and just followed the woman. They ended in a rather large room, with a play area, a few cribs and baby stuff. The woman already had a girl in her arms. “This is Isobell. She is six months, now.” The woman said and smiled as she handed her down at Y/n. Y/n looked at the baby and confusion became realization as she looked into those blue eyes, when she felt that strong hand hold onto her jacket. “Izzy?” Y/n asked with a smile. It seemed as if the baby knew her, what she couldn’t, obviously, but it still seemed so. “I was thinking about adopting her? Since her grandmother couldn’t take her in.” Y/n smiled widely. They had talked about adopting one more lately. “Yes. I would like that.” Her eyes were filled with happy tears. “Would you want to be a part of our little family?” She asked Izzy, a tear rolling over her cheek. 


Some time and research had started and ended. Isobell laying in Y/n’s arms as she walked through the house. “Yes, this is your new house. Do you like it? I hope you do, because this is where you will live.” She entered now Izzy’s room. “This is your room. Do you like it? We also have some nice clothes. But we do really need to go shopping, don’t we?” Y/n asked. The room was soft pink and white, stickers on the windows and the white closet open. The bed with pink blankets and a purple dog stuffed toy looked ready to use. She walked away again. “I wil be home a lot, for a few months. Isn’t that great? Now we need to wait for Spencer, he is getting some food. Not for you, because that is downstairs.” She smiled at the baby who was grabbing for her finger. Y/n gave her her finger and walked down the stairs. “I think he is there.” She whispered as the door opened. Spencer came in with a plastic bag. “How’s our princess?” Spencer asked, putting down the bag. “We were alone for fifteen minutes; She is fine.” Y/n said with a smile. “You hold her, I’ll set the table.” Y/n said, handing  the new father the baby. He looked down at her, but it didn’t take long for her to start crying. “You need to rock her.” Y/n said as she watched Spencer struggle. “Yeah, like that.” Y/n laughed as she put down two plates. “You’ll be a great dad.” Spencer smiled. “Not as great as you’ll be.” Y/n looked serious. “Yes, I’ll be a good dad.” She said, making him laugh. “She’s beautiful. I already love her.” She whispered, kissing her forehead. “She is prefect. Our little princess.” Spencer said, smiling down at Izzy. 


I hope you liked it! Do you maybe want another part? Or a few years later? That sounds like a good idea to me, but I don’t know if you’d like it, so be sure to let me know!<3

wowtsw  asked:

If you think about it, The whole episode was a sex metaphor Jack poking Ashi with his "sword". Finding the oasis (wet) Jack's sucking Ashi's "leg" (foreplay). Jack giving Ashi his gi for "protection". Jack and ashi trying to get the weapon to work (loosing your virginity can be awkward sometimes and it might take a couple more times at having sex to get it right). Jack and Ashi scream each other's names with an electrifying (climax). Heavy Breathing because they're exhausted. Que make out.

Oh gawd I mean I saw like the obvious ones like when they were screaming but the other you mentioned are amazing observations 💜💜💜💜

Caveman

Requests: “I 100% need you to write smutty goodness with bearded Kai in between the readers legs” (For that one video going around OF CHRIS WITH THAT BEARD HOLY SHIT)

Kai scratched at his chin in discomfort, groaning as he did so. “I’m gonna shave this animal off of my face today.” But you gasped and pulled his hand from his face. “I feel like you hated that statement.” He laughed. 

“Don’t do that.” You shook your head and rubbed the irritated skin for him. You’d been pushing him to grow his facial hair out, to more than just a little scruff. Facial hair turned you on so much and Kai looked like a man and not a blue eyed baby with it. But he hated the hair to be so thick and he only kept the almost beard for you. 

Keep reading

Just venting more abt the disconnect between what terfs think being trans is like and what its actually like:

“Bullying/assault based on effeminate behavior is just redirected homophobia!!!”

Ok then why did the boys (and girls) harassing and sometimes assaulting me throughout school make especial note/observation about the fact that I “acted/walked/etc like a girl”?

“You faced bullying as a GNC male sweaty : ))) transphobia isnt real. i know that, as a gay cis women. haha reblog, syster, i felt that burn from here : ) )”

The key bit there is “gender non-conforming”. Almost like….. Being bullied for rejecting the gender assigned to me….. Almost like…. Being rejected for behaving/existing in a way that contradicts gender. If only it had a better name. One that actually described it…. Like…. Transphobia.

“But we’re trying to abolish gender! We’re actually working FOR your goals as well, you just don’t know it!! If only you stupid genderist mogais actually had critical thinking haha!! well once we abolish gender by making snarky thinkpiece articles about not shaving our legs, and shooting down other marginalized people trying to tell us about their experiences by constantly referencing some of THE most oppressed people in the world (ie, women forced into sex-trafficking or who have experienced genital mutilation), while doing absolutely shit all to help them at the same time, and only actually bringing them UP in the first place in order to downplay the marginalization and oppression of transwomen, particularly nonwhite, non-American, poor trans women, you’ll have to thank us!! Because you’ll be free of gender haha!”

Oh boy that’s great. Except it solves absolutely none of my issues whatsofucking ever because even the completely hypothetical and largely unrealistic concept of “abolishing gender” does shit all about the massive amount of bodily/sex/sex-trait dysphoria I suffer and have suffered from since, uh, like, 4. Same for every other dysphoric trans person, which is, uh, most of us.

“I’m so sorry the medical system is capitalizing off of your dysphoria like this. If only there were… Other solutions available.”

You’re right. I am being capitalized off, as is pretty much fucking everyone else on this hellish shitplanet. Are you going to take on and abolish the privatization of the medical system or maybe capitalism itself, too, or is this just another “I’m bringing this up so I can look smart and fit as many critiques of society into my praxis as possible while arguing with people, without actually EVER bringing them up on their own outside of the context of using them as conversational tools to make myself look good” things? Seems like the latter, but, y'know, what does a dumb genderist know?

By the by, what are those other options? Are you going to try to talk me out of my dysphoria? Because I tried doing that for the first 17 years of my life, and it kinda just made everything worse and sorta fucked me up/delayed my development as a human being.

When that doesn’t work, what are you going to do? Are you, perchance, maybe, just going to go full-circle with your hypocritical bullshit and start giving conversion-therapy to dysphoric trans kids to try to brainwash it out of us? Maybe I’m reaching here, but “other options” sounds a tiny bit sinister to a deeply dysphoric gal who’s dysphoria is rooted heavily in her own body and not some bullshit societal standards, like y'all seem to always think.

“Always arguing and trying to force your opinions on womyn/lesbians. What typical male behavior. Male socialization is never, ever admitting you’re wrong in an argument while women are forced to walk away frustrated.”

Oh, you mean like how you constantly hardline when your ideology is challenged, purposefully and spitefully misgender any trans women who has the godawful, stubborn gall to disagree with you, and keeping bringing up and rebranding the same tired, twisted bullshit to justify your transphobia even after it’s disproven, over and over again? Like that? God I’m sorry wanting basic respect/the correct pronouns is so horrible and aggressive of me. Wanting Terfs to stop running off at the mouth about issues surrounding trans women they have no knowledge or understanding of is just,,,, god, guys, I guess they beat me. The terfs one. We can all go home now folks.

“Well, regardless, womyn are still oppressed for their biology/reproductive role in a way that a dumb male tranny male like you could just,,, never understand.”

OH, you mean like reproductive organs? Like, uh, the uterus, or maybe the ovaries and endometrial system? The kinda ovaries I have? The kind of ovaries I possess inside of my stupid fleshbody as an intersex trans women? THOSE ovaries? I want to outright make a reference to the “the poison for Kusko” line here but this is dragging on long enough.

“Ok!! But!! Unlike crippled sex slaves from X third-world country I just now googled to have a leg up in this argument, you were never OPPRESSED for having those organs so uhm, checkmate. Also, I guess now I’m going to have to carefully avoid gendered terms when referring to you and address you in tones of thinly veiled pity because regarding you, an intersex person, as anything other than a negative exception, an aberration, and a mistake of nature would compromise my hard-line position of sex being a rigid, immutable, unchanging, and entirely binarized system where everyone has one exact experience in life or another!! It’s gonna get, like! Really bad! To the point where I’m being an ableist piece of shit and basically insinuating you have less worth as a human being than most other people, because you lack a reproductive role!! Haha. Its not hypocritical of me at all though just so you know!”

Well, Tiffany Rose Anne Terf Bangs, I guess you aren’t experiencing too much maiming or oppression yourself, right now, if you have time and inclination to be an asshole on a blogging website.

“How DARE you make light of-”

Hold up. Freeze-frame. I’m arguing more, like the evil, violent male I am.

How come, uh? How come, whenever you bring up the plight of abused/circumcised/sex-trafficked, non-white women? How come it is that you almost ALWAYS bring them up EXCLUSIVELY in the context of using them as a source of leverage in petty discourse with “genderists” on tumblr? I see maybe, like 1 post freely and independently discussing the plight of non-white, non-western, heavily-oppressed women for every 8 I see using them as a rhetorical tool to outdo trans women trying to tell you that we, y'know, oftentimes get shit on too.

That’s just kind of funny to me. Kind of odd.

Mind you, I don’t pretend to be some incredibly intelligent, educated, massively intersectional feminist praxis godhead. I’m white as hell and first-world and most of the time, just far enough above the poverty line to pay for the essentials.

I have privileges many people don’t.

But at least I have the common DECENCY to let my arguments stand or fall on their own legs.

At least I just make my own fucking points without dragging in marginalized groups I otherwise demonstrate that I give absolutely no shits about in order to one-up other people.

At least I don’t hide my spite for “genderists”, particularly camab women, behind really thin veils of feminism I really only preach when it’s convenient to tearing those same fucking people down.

I’ve got my privileges and I mostly only focus on my own issues, or issues relevant to people like me in areas where I can reach, because that’s about all my pathetic, poor, mentally ill ass can handle, but at least I don’t fucking pretend to care about suffering people when it’s really, really, really obvious I only see them as a discourse foot-stool to stand a little taller and look a little better on.

If you actually gave a SHIT about the people you’re bringing up, I sort of doubt you’d have a blog devoted to whinging about trans people on Tumblr. You might, at the very least, have a blog devoted to actually discussing those peoples’ issues and ways to help them, and invest your time there instead.

But what the hell do I know?

Not much, probably. I don’t pretend like my praxis and beliefs are the end-be-all, unlike some.

There’s a lot more I want to shriek and shake tree branches and rant and run in circles about, but I think this individual post is big enough, and I need to sleep.

Debunking the Alt Right: MRA Edition, Male vs. Female Healthcare

Welcome back to Debunking the Alt-Right, where I take an Alt Right claim that is hilariously easy to debunk and prove how fucking full of shit it is,and is there anybody more fucking stupid than MRA?  This is one is dedicated to @fish6bowl6apocalypse6 for reminding me of this particular crock of nonsense.

     So MRAs really need to claim that Men are the oppressed gender despite men holding the vast majority of the positions of power in the world both historically and presently, and one of the statistic they cut/paste and post at you ad nausum online is the one that women get 8 times the amount of healthcare funding then men.  And that is true, women do get 8x more healthcare money than men…gee its almost like the female body is objectively more complicated than men’s.  Who would have fucking thought? 

Cause you know…Pregnancy.  

So @fish6bowl6apocalypse6 I am going to have to explain to you how sex works, since clearly, you don’t fucking know

Heterosexual sex involves a man putting his penis into a women’s vagina and the sperm will go to her womb.  One of those sperm might fertilize a women’s egg which then will grow into a small creepy headed mini person known as a baby.   This baby will be in what is called a womb, but it prefers to be known as a fetus, calling it a horrifying tiny monster of cuteness is in act politically incorrect.  

Ok, so the male process in the sex process involves this organ known as a 

“Penis” 

Thats it…that is the beginning and ending of the male contribution to the reproductive process.  Since Fish here evidently flucked high school health class, women have the Vagina, which is a lot more complicated.  Oh and the womb, and the Ovaries and…oh gee its almost like female biology is really complicated

And the once the man ejaculates into the women’s vagina, the man’s role in the reproductive process has ended.  But the women has a lot of time they have to spend with these “Babies”

Babies are nothing if not massive drama queens so they want to take 9 months of sitting around doing nothing before they come out in a horrifying Alien style exposing of blood and gore known as the miracle of life

So these mini people, again know as 

“Babies”

ANd babies are unfortunately really emo so they spend the next 9 months trying their darnest to die.  And so there is a contest between the baby and the mother to keep the child from dying.   Now historically, the advantage was in the baby’s court, cause babies are really really good at dying, but recently mothers have managed to find these things called

“Doctors” 

who are specially magical spellcasters who can make people who otherwise die, not die.   To use this powerful magic, they need to use these spell components called 

“Medicine”

And to aquire this medicine, they need something known as 

“Money”

which can exchanged for goods and services 

So every single time a women goes in to for a check up during their pregnancy, that costs moneys.  Every single time.  And assuming a healthy pregnancy, a women will have dozens if not scores of visits to the doctor.  

Meanwhile, the man will have…..0 pregnancy related visits to the doctor….because men don’t bear children @fish6bowl6apocalypse6, it turns out, they don’t biological have that function. 

 But of course some regeneracy doesn’t actually go well at all.  There are like…a millions things that can go wrong, and every single time you have to go to the doctor and that costs money.  

And then there the birth itself which is you know…really expensive and possibly dangerous to both   the child and the mother, and can go wrong in like a million different ways.   All of which costs…money


Oh and it gets even better @fish6bowl6apocalypse6  Because even if women don’t get pregnant, they have these things called periods, where they bleed once a month and have constant hormone fluctuation.  And many of them have different problems that arise from that and need to see those 

Doctors

yet again.  Funny how that works.


 Oh and then there is birth control.  If women don’t want to have tiny people living in them, they need to spend money on.  See I only need to get one of these 

Which are like…really cheap.  And guess what….women need special medicine for a lot of it.

In fact there are a lot of medical conditions that involve the womb or ovaries where regular birth control can cure.  Which again…costs money.  

Oh and also abortion counts under women’s health you dumbmother fucker

Women’s health costs more because women’s bodies are more complicated and so they cost more money to keep healthy even before you take pregnancy into account….Seriously, this is so obviously stupid that anybody who makes this claim is either unbelievably ignorant or just using that statistic as a cheap way to try to devalue feminism and hoping you don’t read that in any detail.   Which is why its one among a massive list of copy/paste anti feminist nonsense claims that they throw about instead of arguments…..because they are dumb

Edit: I was referring to Cis men and women in this article 

anonymous asked:

What do you think Jack and Ashi would be like if they existed today?

I have a modern AU in my mind where jack had to leave his home because aku is this drug lord and came after jacks family cuz they were rich and stuff and killed them, so jack has been on the run since 8 and akus after him because he owns everything now that his parents are dead (honestly jacks modern story to me is basically kill bill mixed with batmans origin and narcos)

aku ends up having 8 daughters with the Priestess but instead she’s just this crazy assassin bodyguard business woman. She trains her daughters to fight for their father and to assassinate jack.

Mean while jack becomes a tea shop owner/dojo owner master guy but is secretly a trained soldier type/assassin trained by the best since 8 to fight for the good guys, one day the daughters of aku find his location and tried to kill him, he killed all or so he thought, the one he thru of the roof of a building survived. He shows her the people and places akus gangs and drugs have ruined so she becomes part of the fight. Akus influence is greater than some random mob bosss, he’s like Pablo Escobar in this AU he has enough money to buy his way into politics and shit.

Jack has to fight gangsters and trained assassins and cyborgs instead of robots, Ashis still badass af and is equally as strong as jack, she’s good with a sword and gun (reminds me of a hitgirl type mixed with the asain school girl assassin from kill bill) but ashi has this secret she doesn’t know of. She has a trigger word that turns her into akus slave courtesy of her mother( who she killed.) hypnosis. So aku uses her as a way to protect himself from jack.

That’s all I got till the season finale ^^;;;


SORRY AGAIN FIR THE LONG REPLY OMG I hate when I have a story

Sakamaki Shuu x Reader [Smut]

[ So,since I have the time(for a short while) for myself,I decided to finally put one up. I’ll try doing the rest as fast as I can,but let’s just see. Oh,and because I was listening to an R18 audio of Toriumi Kousuke(Shuu’s seiyuu)’s moans (I swear his moans are like one of the hottest for me),I was 100% horny while writing this. *blush* XD Anyway,enjoy reading and prepare your ovaries. ]


“Shuu-san…?”

Now,Shuu’s simply lying down on his bed,his eyes closed and his earphones on. You sighed and turned around,reaching out to unlock the door. But then,you took a second look back.

Your eyes trailed down his body. Your cheeks flushed when you saw it.

A small bit of that light pink tip poking out at the top of his unbuttoned jeans. You wondered why was he exposing himself,but nevertheless,you wanted to see more.

It was really arousing how he was teasingly exposed to you. You’ve always had a liking to being teased in certain ways,such as this. You stepped closer to him and got onto the bed,staring at the head of his cock. Pressing your thighs together to ease the throbbing between your legs,you licked your lips as you imagined yourself licking that part of him.

“Enjoying the show,aren’t you?”

You snapped from your trance,your cheeks flushed deep red as you realised that you were caught looking. You looked at the owner of the voice,bowing your head slightly.

“S-Sorry,I couldn’t help but to look…”

An amused chuckle escaped from Shuu’s lips. He gave you a lustful gaze,smirking as he slowly and teasingly pulled down his zipper,exposing more of his cock. You realised that he didn’t put on any boxers,which made it more arousing.

“You want to touch it,don’t you? You lewd woman,"Shuu said with a low voice. You blushed more at his words,nodding once. You jolted when he suddenly held your hand,bringing it close until your fingers brushed against the tip of his length.

Your heart raced as he guided your hand,your fingers tracing up and down on his cock. Soon,he let go of your hand and gave you an expecting look. He wanted you to touch more?

You carressed the tip with your thumb,feeling how it was spongy but kind of hard at the same time. You felt it twitch slightly,and that made you press your thighs together again. Shuu inhaled sharply as you added a bit of pressure in your touches,your hands moving from root to tip. It didn’t take long for his cock to finally stand erect.

Shuu let out a groan when you wrapped your fingers around his member,pulling his foreskin down before pulling it back up. When you did it a few more times,Shuu frowned at you.

"Stop teasing me,"he growled. You wanted to tease him until he lost his mind but you knew that it might not end well,especially since you wanted him yourself.

You got off and removed your panties. When you held it up,Shuu smirked. You blushed and threw it at him,which he easily caught in mid-air. He brought your panties close to his nose,taking a sniff of it. He closed his eyes and stroked his cock,groaning softly.

You watched him jerk off,and you finally couldn’t take it. You started to finger yourself,inserting two fingers inside while trying to loosen yourself up.

When Shuu started to thrust into his hand,you knew he was nearing his limit. You pushed him down and snatched away your panties from him,tossing it to the side. You discarded the rest of your clothes and hastily tried to remove his as well.

"So eager now,aren’t we?” Shuu noted teasingly. Your cheeks flushed at his comment. Gently giving him a light peck on the lips,you lowered yourself onto his cock.

He filled you up completely in an instant. Shuu took in a sharp breath,his hands placed onto your hips as he slowly started to thrust up. You let out a moan and tried to meet his thrusts as you moved as well.

“Aah-S-Shuu-san-!”

You let out a loud moan when he grinded against a spot inside you,and he moaned as well. You felt yourself clenching around him,and he was throbbing and getting bigger inside of you.

“I’m close…” he told you. Your eyes widened in panic and you tried to get off him. However,Shuu knew what you were thinking and gripped hard onto you,not letting you go.

“S-Shuu-san,don’t! If you come inside I-Aah-I might get-Mnn-Pregnant!” you pleaded with him between moans and pants. Of course,it fell on deaf ears.

Shuu closed his eyes and kept thrusting inside you. You convulsed around him suddenly as you came,and it didn’t take long for him to reach his limit as well. He tensed and shuddered as he came into you. His orgasm lasted longer than usual,especially because it was the first time he came inside you.

When Shuu finally relaxed,you collapsed on top of him,feeling his chest rise and fall at the same pace as yours. As you moved,you felt Shuu’s cock still rubbing against your sore muscles. You tried to get him out of you but Shuu held you in place.

“Don’t move. Stay like this,"he whispered. You blushed at his voice and closed your eyes,sighing in defeat. You moved to the side an he turned as well,keeping himself inside of you. You nuzzled up against him and kissed his cheek,smiling.

Shuu opened an eye and smirked,leaning down while baring his fangs. You turned your head as you waited for him to sink his fangs into you. An amused chuckle left his lips.

"You really want me to spoil you,huh? What a lewd woman.”

I think my biggest moment was right after the women’s march. I was so proud of all the women who went, I loved the beanies, I loved the signs and the “fuck you” attitude towards Trump and men in general.

And then I started seeing stuff popping up about “cisexism” and how women shouldn’t be talking about their pussies and uteruses and reproductive systems because it “excludes trans women”.

At first I was so confused - Trump was literally talking about grabbing women’s pussies, which is what those signs were about. Abortion and women’s reproductive health were being attacked; sanitary products being taxed - that’s why there were signs about ovaries etc.

It made sense to me why these signs existed, and I couldn’t understand what it was about these signs that were so offensive to trans woman??

Then I began seeing more and more “explanations” about why you couldn’t equate vaginas with being a woman. Why men with no uterus, no ovaries, should have as big a part in these discussions simply because they decided they were women.

That was enough for me, but then I also began seeing a lot of “kill the TERFs” happening whenever a woman spoke up about these issues. Horrible, disgusting things being said about these women, threats and hatred constantly being spit at them. And I went looking, wondering what on earth these women had done to deserve such treatment: nothing.

This was the end for me. Men were screaming rape and death threats at women who just wanted to talk about abortions, women’s health, child marriages, sex trafficking etc. I couldn’t take it any more, i unfollowed a bunch of blogs and made this new little account for me to reblog and learn more about radical feminism.

trans danny fenton/phantom talk - episode 7

so a little into the episode danny comes home past curfew and maddie(his mother) is lecturing him and he’s basically in trouble and then danny makes the comment of “i’m under a lot of pressure. look, you two have no idea what it’s like to be a kid today!” 

to which maddie replies “danny that’s the oldest excuse in the book. there’s nothing your going through that your father and i didn’t go through when we were your age” (subtle hints to puberty{and being respective of his gender by including his dad yet also keeping in mind that his genitals might be starting to go through periods since it is, if we are assuming here he hasn’t gone through any surgery at this point and still have ovaries and a vagina, a vagina}, perhaps?) 

and then danny rebutted with “yeah? i beg to differ..

next jaz makes the comment of “danny doesn’t think you can relate to him because you haven’t talked to him about your childhood!”

i mean yeah? going through changes mentally and physically, regardless of how far along you are, is still stressful and living with it everyday can be tiring and also is hard to talk about with others who aren’t also trans individuals and especially your parents, though are supportive and loving, won’t fully get what you’re going through and will play it off

plus, since danny is 14, it can be assumed that periods would be things that have either started, or could be close to starting, since the rough age for periods to start is around the age of 12 to 14/15. so if he started already/recently, having the mental and physical reminder that you don’t have your genders’ common genitals can be upsetting and cause some issues with you internally

Taking my health by the horns

I’ve made a big decision. I’m tired of doctors treating me like I’m crazy when I talk about my health. So I’m unleashing the power of the internet and I’ve decided to treat myself. I have learned that the internet can be just as powerful because of all the resources and testimonials and I’ve already made good progress on my insulin resistance thanks to the internet.

Did you know you can have PCOS and NOT have cysts on your ovaries? And that PCOS can’t be diagnosed via ultrasound? Because depending on when you get the ultrasound and where you are in your ovulation cycle, your ovaries will look completely different!

I didn’t know all this, and because I was checked via ultrasound, the doctors I went to said I did not have PCOS. But I have most of the other symptoms, and insulin resistance is one of the most common versions of PCOS.

So I’m going to go ahead and treat myself as if I have insulin resistant PCOS. I’m currently weaning myself off of soda. If I go cold turkey, I’ll get migraines, so I’m going slower than I’d like, but I’ll get there.

The hardest things I have to do is give up gluten and sugar. I was already kind of doing gluten free, I just wasn’t going out of my way to cut it out completely, the real challenge will be the sugar. Sugar is HIGHLY addicting. And it’s not just sugar, it’s ALL sweeteners. No sugar, no sweeteners, no honey, no agave, no fructose, no glucose. It’s gonna be tough.

So, I’m giving up my “international” style instant coffee which has sugar in it. I still want coffee (because I’m already taking a LOT of magnesium and coffee helps me poop) so I’m moving to a regular instant coffee and I’ll drink it with cashew milk and coconut oil.

I’m going to continue drinking my protein drinks which are low in sugar, fish with almond flour and seasonings, and I’ll be introducing potatoes back into my diet, because with insulin resistant PCOS, you actually need some gentle starch. So a baked potato with butter and cheese is actually good for me.

Whenever I’m facing a sugar craving, I’m going to post here instead. I’ll tell myself that it’s just my brain, craving that chemical feel-good reaction that sugar gives you. I don’t need it. I’ll have some natural peanut butter instead (it’s just peanuts and a little salt, I checked). And I know you all have my back. ^_^

Sherlock x Reader: "What Is A Period?"

A/N: I thought that the idea of having to explain a period to Sherlock was funny. So enjoy!


You let out a groan and clutched your lower abdomen while getting a glass of water from the kitchen of 221B. Yes, it was that time of the month. This had snapped Sherlock out of his mind palace. He was sitting on his chair in the living room.

“Y/N,” He called. “Are you quite alright?” There was annoyance in his voice, probably due to him hating being brought out of his mind palace too soon.

“Nothing I haven’t dealt with before,” You replied. Another groan escaped you as a jolt of pain hit you.

“What’s wrong?” He stood up and walked over to you.

“Just the usual,” You answered. “Another few days and it will be over?”

“How can you be so precise?”

“Well it happens every month.”

“No! You can’t be okay! Y/N, I have never heard of anything like this before. You need to see a doctor! Wait, are you pregnant?”

“No! Quite the opposite actually.”

“What do you mean?" He asked and looked at you in confusion,

"Oh no,” You muttered. Sherlock had probably heard of a period before but wiped it out of his memory because it was ‘useless.’

“Sherlock have you ever heard of a period?”

“What is a period?”

“Sherlock, I think we should sit down.”

 

 

“So the menstrual cycle is the time from the first day of a woman’s period to the day before her next period. Rising levels of oestrogen cause the ovary to develop an egg which travels down the fallopian tubes into the womb. Progesterone helps the womb lining grow thicker for pregnancy. However, if pregnancy does not occur, the lining will break down and be released. Most last for three to five days but could last longer. They usually start at the age of around ten and finish at menopause which is around the age of fifty to fifty five. And that is around it.”

“So blood is released from… Down below?” He asked. Although it was a strange subject, Sherlock was fascinated. But that was Sherlock for you.

“Yes,” You replied.

“Is it painful?”

“Very.”

“And it stops when pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“Well um, I’m always here for you when it starts.”

“Thank you Sherlock.” Although it was hard having him as a boyfriend, it was nice to know that he did care and tried to show affection.


Masterlist.