i have no idea when this was tho

anonymous asked:

hi i'm really interested in hooking up w a girl but this would be my first time & i have no idea how to find a sexy ass girl to hook up with. i don't even know what to expect or how to go about this. ugh i want it tho. fuckkkk

I honestly don’t know how to find a girl bc it seems to me that this things happen eventually, but when you’ll be about to hook up you should do to her what you’d like a girl to do to you and just do what you want to. And i bet you’ll like it so don’t be afraid ;) 

but like a tinder reveal tho
  • like have you ever just sat with your friends while you all swipe through tinder?
  • and like gush over the people you match with and laugh over dumb profiles and screenshot the people you know?
  • idk i feel like ladybug and chat noir would do that when they’re bored
  • like chat noir would automatically cheer really loudly whenever he matches (which happens a lot and ladybug’s like “what the hell he’s an actual dork these girls have no idea”)
  • and whenever ladybug matches chat noir leans over, squints at the profile, and jokes around with her and says stuff like “eh, whatever, my abs are way better.”
  • chat noir has like double the amount of matches that ladybug has (”jeez, are you famous or something?”) but ladybug gets so many superlikes and chat noir is high-key not surprised because if he could he’d superlike her too
  • but then one day they’re both swiping and ladybug freaking screams because Adrien’s tinder profile shows up in her stack and it shows that he’s less than a mile away
  • (LB: “oh my god, why is he out here so late?
  • CN: “HAHA. ha. um. hey. who knows? he’s a model, right? probably….model…type…..things.”)
  • and chat noir isn’t trying to be pushy but he asks her “sooooooo, are you gonna swipe right?”
  • all the while practically begging in his head for her to say yes, oh my god say yes, please swipe right, please do it, it would make this evening magical. 
  • and ladybug’s just like “ugh we probably won’t match :/” and chat noir’s like “the dude would literally be an idiot if he didn’t match with you.” 
  • so ladybug decides to screw it and swipes right and she howls because YES! IT’S A MATCH! WE MATCHED OH MY GOD I MATCHED WITH ADRIEN AGRESTE HOLY SHIT
  • and then chat’s phone buzzes immediately after
  • with a notification from tinder
  • because he has a new match
  • and it’s marinette
  • and he damn near drops his phone from the top of the gd notre dame
4

This isn’t even fair >//>

((and my personal favorite:

2

and when the lights start flashing like a photobooth
and the stars exploding
we’ll be fireproof

—troye sivan “youth” / © hoshi majoo

“Uh…. not what I was planning, but okay…”

here have this completely out of context comic I couldn’t help drawing

in which ford (while dimension hopping) comes across a dimension where billdip is a thing and has now vowed to keep them apart at all cost in his own dimension even tho no one understands what he’s talking about

more context under the cut

Keep reading

YOUNG LOVE (Jerome Valeska x Reader)

Request: hey can you please do something where the reader dates jerome even tho she’s a few years younger? thx ☺️ -Anon
A/N: Thanks for the idea! Many writers have done something similiar, but well, I can try to ”throw my own spoon to the soup”, as we say in Finland :D 
Words: 493 
Warnings/rating: mention of murder, mentions of violence. Nothing graphic though!

*** 

You were thirteen, when you first saw him. Circus boy, older than you, looking pissed off when he stood outside of the trailer. As you passed him, you saw bruises on his face. You got your protective mood on and opened your mouth, for asking who hit him. He answered before you even had a voice coming out.
”My mom”, he said. And from that moment, you started hating his mom. You didn’t even know her, but you still hated her. What kind of mom beats her own, dear son? You talked for a while, you told about your own, precious and even perfect life compared to his. He listened to you in awe and finally you had become friends. You were fourteen, when you was allowed to bring your new best friend to your home, visiting. His mom didn’t like it, not one bit. And so she beat Jerome, when he got back home. She was constantly drunk or then she was banging men in their trailer. And you were fifteen, when you started dating. Jerome was eighteen. Not a big age gap, but everyone assumed that Jerome would be treating you like a baby and you would get bored of it eventually.

But you didn’t. Jerome was very protective, but he didn’t treat you like you were a baby. If his mom saw you together, he only started pulling you away from her sight. But one day was different. He was getting you a candy bar, and his mom came to you. She started calling you names. She was drunk and she smoked a cigarette. You didn’t care, but when she stub her cigarette on your arm, you screamed in pain. Lila only laughed and started walking away to her trailer. Jerome came back with your candy bar and saw the red burn mark on your arm. ”Who did that to you?!”, he asked furiously.
”It’s nothing, it doesn’t hurt… ow!”, you winced in pain when Jerome touched it.
”Oh, it’s nothing? Please, Y/N, tell me who did that to you”, Jerome said and took your hand to his own.
”It was no one, I got that yesterday”, you tried to lie, but Jerome didn’t believe you.
”Y/N”, he demanded and you sighed.
”It was your… mother”, you squeezed your eyes shut and Jerome hugged you.
”I’m going to make that bitch pay”, he said and started walking towards the trailer.
”Jerome! Please don’t go there!”, you shouted but he didn’t listen.

***

He killed Lila. And he had been in Arkham for four months now. It was your 16th birthday today, but you didn’t care. You only wanted Jerome beside you and him making you your favorite hot drink. He would buy you presents and you would open them together. Suddenly you felt a cold wind on your back. You turned around and… saw him. He was standing in front of the window. 

 ”Hello, dollface. Did you miss me?”

Originally posted by aleggorik

Lance: Wait… Guys what are we gonna do when Katie gets her period?

Hunk and Keith: ?

Lance: I mean she’s 14 so technically it might not happen for another two years but we don’t know how long this is gonna take! What if Alteans don’t have anything similar and Allura doesn’t-

Hunk: I think you’re misunderstanding something here?

Keith: Yeah she’s not going to-

Katie, from the other room: I have a dick Lance.

Lance: …?

Lance: OH! Oh okay that’s why you pretended to be a boy at- oh okay nevermind crisis averted why am I always the last to know these things guys come on.

I literally can’t believe that we’re gonna have an Akiramon talk probably in the next chapter? like??? this is a miracle??? I’ve wanted this for years, YEARS

Whoah, thank you so much!!!! Please feel free to do so, also- I’d love to see it if you do it!

Yes, I am aware! I am a fan of the books even tho I haven’t touched them recently but I made sure to research some stuff when creating this AU. While I think Yurio would be cool af as the Beauxbatons champion, I have my own motives as to why I didn’t decide on that!

As for Phichit, I’m leaning towards the idea of having him in Hogwarts, since he was Yuuri’s roomie and all. As for Christophe-

I truly like the idea of Chris as the champion for Beauxbatons! It’s plausible, and seems like an interesting option. Tbh I’m more inclined to this idea rn!

As for the girls - I personally see Mila also going to Durmstrang, and Minako would be more like a teacher. 

.

Once again, thank you all so much for all the messages!! I really appreciate it!

Soulmate AU: Michemil/Milasara edition

Couldn’t stop thinking about this post which basically is a Soulmate au with the concept that everyone have clocks counting down to when they meet their soulmates. I couldn’t stop imagining one of my fav pairings in the same setting which just led to this: 

Right before preparing for a national competition Sara suddenly comes barging into Michele’s room exclaiming about the fact that her soulmate clock had mysteriously sped up. Michele is genuinely upset about this until he realizes that even his clock had sped up too. Which just makes him even more distressed since he’s very content with just being with his sister. Fast forward to when they arrive at where the national competition is held (this is obviously way before yuri on ice takes place). They arrive at their hotel and as they are waiting for the elevator to descend Sara suddenly notices that only seconds remains on both of their clocks. The elevator doors flies open just as they clocks reach zero and in the elevator they are greeted by a redheaded Russian girl and Czech guy with light brown hair staring fervently at their clocks that read also reads zero.

Now the question is who’s whose soulmate? I mean it’s fairly obvious with the ship names right up there but this would definitely make for some great angst fic ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

All I need in life is for Yuuri and Victor to go on a date to a local ice rink where they aren’t recognized as pro skaters. It would be Yuuri’s idea of course and Victor would think it’s kind of ridiculous, “We’re professional ice skaters Yuuri, we’re on the ice all the time.” But Yuuri will just laugh and say “When was the last time you were on the ice to just skate; not to practice a routine or improve a step sequence?” And Victor wouldn’t have an answer so they both go and rent skates even tho they both have their own skates. Then once they’re on the ice Victor follows Yuuri’s lead as they do simple things, just like the rest of the people around them. Skating around the rink listening to the sound of people laughing as they stumble over they’re stakes. Victor beings to understand why Yuuri brought him here, when you’re a pro you are constantly surrounded by other professional skaters and it gives you a new perspective when you see people tripping and falling like baby deers while on their skates, and are still able to laugh and enjoy themselves. Then Victor and Yuuri see a group of teens bullying a young girl for falling down and both Victor and Yuuri can hear the awful insults the kids are saying to her. Victor sees Yuuri tense up eyes ablaze with anger and skates over to the girl to help her up because it was obvious that those boys weren’t going to. Then Yuuri take her away from the bullies and begins to teach her how to skate and Victor is just so proud of his boyfriend for helping the girl but is, at the same time, livid at those boys who are still shouting insults about her having to have help and that they’re so good at skating they don’t need any help so Victor being his petty self decides to school all of those kids by show them what real skating is.

Destroy the idea that you need someone to save you. Listen to me, I know your hands shake a lot. I know you cry easy. I know the world frightens you. But listen to me, you have always picked yourself up with your own two hands. I know Wednesday nights are longer than they’re supposed to be, know how you stay up all night to talk to him, to anyone. I know how you think his hands around your neck kept you together. I know how when he said he loved you, you believed it. I know how when they said you looked beautiful, you stopped looking too long in the mirror. I know how you stopped writing about death. I know how waking up stopped feeling as heavy. I know how you felt strong for the first time with your fists on his chest, with his breath in between your teeth. But listen to me, you have always been this strong. You have the hands of a warrior after battle. Your teeth have always been strong, your eyes always beautiful. Destroy the idea that you are doe-eyed, wounded thing. Destroy the idea that he is saviour. Destroy the idea that when he leaves, all your strong will leave with him. Listen to me, you are so much more than you know. Listen to me, you are your own saviour.