i have no idea what's going on because i'm not actually reading it

I am really tired yall.

Lemme just preface this with saying that I am a writer. I have been writing for most of my life. I have taken actual classes about writing and about what fiction can offer you, me, and people as a whole. I have won an award for something that I wrote. I know and love fiction, be it in written form, graphic novels, or film. It is all so good and complex and it’s something I am passionate about. That said, let’s get into this.

A good majority of the discourse that goes on in most of the fandoms I’m in stem from the idea that violence and forbidden sexual acts in fiction will encourage those actions in reality. It is important to know, firstly, that the only time this happens is when a person is immature enough or not mentally healthy enough to distinguish reality from fiction. Growing up, my parents would often stop horror movies (back when I first started watching them) to ask me questions. To be fair, they were pretty shitty people, but in this one aspect, they were so good about making sure I knew this difference. “You know this is just a movie, right? None of the stuff on the tv is real.” They’d assure before continuing the film.

It’s not real.

Now, half of the stuff I read or watched back then was nowhere near pushing boundaries or making me think critically about society or whatever. However, I knew that what I watched wasn’t real. It was images on a screen. If I don’t like what I’m seeing, I can walk away. It doesn’t have to affect me, personally,  unless I let it.

Now, lets circle back. School. College. I took a writing class that used this book:

Granted, it was a screenwriting class and most of the chapters were about various script formats, but the beginning chapters focused on why we write and why we make the stories we do.

It had a section in it describing how human needs and desires are met through fiction. It detailed those needs in a list. This list:

Please draw your attention to the ones on the list that say that fictions helps people to:

Be purged of unpleasant emotions

To have vicarious but controlled emotional experiences

To confront, in a controlled situation, the horrible and terrible

To explore taboo subjects without guilt

Just because you personal don’t need various forms of ‘taboo’ media, doesn’t mean that others don’t. Media, in all of its forms, is a way for people to explore things safely. It’s an outlet that doesn’t harm anyone and it offers the creator and viewer/reader a safe way of exploring the complexities of situations (or in some cases relationships) that these people do not want to be involved in irl. Because we can distinguish reality from fiction. Because none of us are going out killing people or getting into abusive relationships or fucking our sibling.

While being critical of the media we consume is important and it is vital to dissect the whys of the media being created, there is a line between creating open discussion about these taboos, about the society and personal experiences that makes one need these outlets, and verbally abusing and harassing strangers.

If you want to create a dialogue about media or a ship you don’t agree with, fine. Talk about it. Dissect it. Really dig deep into the human condition and the psychology behind these outlets, but don’t shame people for them to the point of telling them to kill themselves or telling them they are human garbage or what the fuck ever.

Fiction isn’t always meant to be picturesque. It’s not always going to be SFW. If that isn’t your cup of tea, then great. Stop going into the tags of things that make you feel unhealthy. You do you. Keep yourself safe. Stop continuously exposing yourself to content that you can’t swallow. To keep getting involved, to keep harassing people, to keep abusing strangers shows that you don’t give a damn about the content. You need an excuse to bully someone else and indulge in holier-than-thou circle jerks with other people who also have no sense of what fiction is for.

Dr Maru’s notes, translated

As an Assyriologist-in-training, I was pretty excited about cuneiform’s little cameo in Wonder Woman- there are no films at all about Mesopotamia, so even three seconds of flipping through a notebook of the languages I study was pretty exciting to see on the big screen. Now, I assumed at first that the writing in Dr Maru’s notebook, would simply be gibberish, but one thing about it stuck with me: how well copied the letters were. Now, Cuneiform writing was designed for clay and stylus, and it is BRUTALLY hard to write cuneiform symbols with pen and paper. You’d think you could just draw a bunch of triangles, but nope; the system was so clearly designed to use nuances only possible with stylus and clay, they’re nigh on impossible to accurately reproduce using pen. And whoever wrote that piece of paper did a damn good job of it. So, I remained convinced the text might actually have some meaning, and when I got home I started tinkering with it.

First things first: though the notes were described in the film as “Sumerian and Ottoman”, they’re not Sumerian. Dr Maru’s notes are very clearly written in the quite distinctive script of Neo-Assyrian Cuneiform, which was used on official inscriptions of the Assyrian Empire from around 1000- 700 BC. Sumerian died out as a spoken language in around 2000 BC and though it continued to be used in writing long after that in the same way Latin was in Europe, it was probably never written in the formal Assyrian script.

I’m going to safely assume the man who mistakenly called the page “Sumerian and Ottoman” got it wrong, but the fact that Diana doesn’t correct this, despite her vastly superior knowledge of ancient languages is interesting. Consider this though: historians estimate the destruction of the site of Hissarlik, which is thought MIGHT be the inspiration for the Troy legends to around 1300 BC, around the time of the Bronze Age collapse and dawn of the Greek Dark Ages. If we take this as the end of the Greek Mythic age and the hiding of Themiscyra in the DC Universe, Diana would only have been able to study Cuneiform scripts written before this period so she would know only Old Babylonian Cursive, or possibly even only Old Babylonian Lapidary. Neo-Assyrian script would be just legible with effort, but difficult for her to read.

Now, the way cuneiform works is that any one cuneiform symbol can represent one or more alphabetic sounds, OR syllables, OR entire words. Most stand for a number of those things, but some represent only one. The symbols that represent entire words are called Logograms, and they remained largely consistent through all the changes of the cuneiform writing system. If Dr Maru’s notes were primarily written in Logograms (which they turned out to be), it would make sense for Diana to still be able to read them despite the considerable changes between Old Babylonian Lapidary and Neo-Assyrian script, and also that she wouldn’t have to know Assyrian-era Akkadian to understand the logographic signs (because they represent whole words at once rather than spell them out alphabetically, they can be understood by speakers of multiple languages who know the signs).

So having sorted all that out, I began to translate. Virtually all the symbols were logograms standing for words like mountain, woman, king, builder etc, but a limited few stood for single syllables like “ru” or “ti”. This made no sense, because the signs used were consistent enough with the actual context in the film to make some sense and logically repetitive. Whoever wrote this knew what they were doing. Why intersperse them with random letters? I finally realised: Dr Maru is a chemist. The way her code works is that she uses mostly logograms, but uses signs for syllables when those syllables are our modern symbols for chemical elements. Every sign where a syllable-only translation was my only option, that syllable matched up with the abbreviation for a chemical element in the periodic table.

So, working with the assumption that Dr Poison’s code technique is using Logograms to represent whole words, and the symbols for sole syllables like ka, ga, la etc in their standard transcriptions from cuneiform to represent chemical elements, here it is at last, the first page of Dr Maru’s notebook:


 

To divide the town, one unit of the weapon to the throne of the builder: to please the builder, in the company of the god: lithium, 1 grain/seed of europium. 1 daughter of gold woman -  yours. Country [given?] to god and then [to] lord/god/king. Ruthenium possibility, carbon disulfide*, and then rhenium. May it be pleasing to the country. Animal shoulder** Uunhexium*** . Lord/god and then gallium, and then radium. Weapon, iodine, administrator.


*This sign can mean “tree, wood” or, just stand for the sound “s”. So, i was left with a choice between carbon and sulfur, and settled on the compound

**I have no fricking idea why that’s in there, but it’s definitely that sign. Maybe she wants to make a pot roast and scribbled it down? Someone draw me happy dr maru and her pot roast pls

***This sign was VERY hard to identify, but i finally settled on the Old Babylonian Lapidary sign for “uuh”. Uuh also happens to be the chemical symbol for Ununhexium or Livermorium, a rare earth element not identified until the year 2000. This is strange, because this sign is CLEARLY Lapidary, while all the others are in the Neo-Assyrian script. So my conclusion is that Dr Poison isolated Uunhexium 92 years ahead of the game, it’s her big secret, and decided it needed a unique Logogram of its own, for which she adopted the sign for Uuh.

general li mulan

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -

- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.

mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.

not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.

ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.

then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.

ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.

“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”

so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.

he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans. 

so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.

mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.

then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.

shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.

and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.

the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.

but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.

and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.

she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.

she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”

she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.

and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.

and they all live happily ever after.

post-emoji movie Trauma

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.

This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

Podcast rec list

My old podcast rec/request list is still getting notes so I figured I’d make a new list with everything I’ve downloaded since then. Favourites are italicized*.

For updates, please check @insomniac-podcaster.

Audio drama (Fantasy)

  • Alba Salix, Royal Physician* - Follows trials and tribulations of Farloria’s head witch of the House of Healing, Alba Salix. It is a 6-part mini-series (+ bonuses) with no future episodes currently planned.
  • The Behemoth -  15-year-old Madyson tells the story of the Behemoth, a large, lumbering beast that has emerged from the waters off of Cape Cod. It will be a 20-part mini-series.
  • Hello From the Magic Tavern - An improv comedy podcast hosted by Arnie, a man who accidentally passed through a portal into the land of “Foon”. Every week Arnie interviews patrons of the Vermilion Minotaur tavern including monsters, wizard, and adventurers.

Audio drama (Horror)

  • Alice Isn’t Dead* - A truck driver searches across America for the wife she had long assumed was dead, encountering not-quite-human serial murderers, towns literally lost in time, and a conspiracy that goes way beyond one missing woman along the way. This podcast is produced by the same people who brought you Welcome to Night Vale.
  • Archive 81 - These are the recovered tapes of missing archivist Daniel Powell, posted by a well-meaning friend hoping to locate him.
  • Help Me - Nicole investigates the mysterious death of her friend Olivia and possible link to a dangerous entity. It is a 15-part mini-series with no future episodes currently planned.
  • Limetown* - Radio host Lia Haddock investigates the sudden disappearance of the residents of Limetown. It is a 7-part mini-series (+ bonuses) with future seasons (and possibly a TV show) in the works.
  • Return Home - Jonathan Baker returns to his home town after being contacted by a mysterious entity. Episodes are broken up into multiple parts aired every week, with breaks between episodes.

Audio drama (Pseudo-radio show)

  • The Black Tapes* - (horror) A weekly radio show hosted by Alex Reagan that investigates unsolved paranormal phenomenon documented by the Strand Institute. They also produce TANIS.
  • The Message* - (sci-fi) Nicky Tomalin documents the work of a team of cryptologists as the attempt to decipher an alien message. It is an 8-part mini-series.
  • Good Morning Zakera Ward - (sci-fi, Mass Effect) A morning radio show set in the Mass Effect universe. It is an 11-part series that appears to have ended abruptly, but is still worth a listen if you’re a fan of the games.
  • King Falls AM - (sci-fi/fantasy) A late-night talk show from quaint town of King Falls that is frequently interrupted by peculiar happenings and paranormal events.
  • TANIS - (horror) A docu-drama series hosted by Nic Silver exploring the myth and conspiracy of Tanis. They also produce The Black Tapes.
  • Welcome to Night Vale - (cosmic horror)  Community radio updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, featuring local weather, news, announcements from the Sheriff’s Secret Police, mysterious lights in the night sky, dark hooded figures with unknowable powers, and cultural events.

Audio drama (Sci-Fi)

  • ars PARADOXICA* - A journey through spacetime and the Cold War with Dr. Sally Grissom, a physicist send back in time when an experiment goes awry.
  • The Bright Sessions* - The recorded therapy sessions of Dr. Bright, who provides support for patients with unusual talents. ((It’s more of a paranormal drama that a true sci-fi)).
  • The Bunker - A breakfast radio show broadcast back in time to us from the post-apocalyptic year 2414. It’s a 12-part mini-series, and the developers are currently working on another sci-fi series that will be titled Mars Corp.
  • EOS 10* - The adventures of two maladjusted doctors, their medical team, and a hypochondriac ex-prince aboard an intergalactic travel hub.
  • Kakos Industries - Corporate announcements for Kakos Industries, a corporation dedicated to helping you ‘do evil better’.
  • Liberty - Tales from Atrius, a colony cut off from humanity and racked by civil war, and the surrounding lawless expanse known as the Fringe. It consists of multiple mini-series.
  • Sayer - Acclimate to life on Earth’s man-made second moon, Typhon, with the assistance of the self-aware AI SAYER.
  • Thrilling Adventure Hour - A podcast in the style of an old-timey radio show consisting of the regular sub-series ‘Sparks Nevada: Marshall on Mars’ and ‘Beyond Belief’ as well as other segments.
  • Wolf 359*** - Follows the crew of the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station as they orbit around the red dwarf Wolf 359. This is my all-time favourite series - you should be downloading it right now… unless you’ve already heard it in which case you should definitely treat yourself and listen to it again.

Informational

  • Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History - As the title implies, this is really hardcore history. Episodes are exceedingly well-researched and is surprisingly easy to listen to considering the density of the subject matter.
  • Lore - A podcast examining myths and folktales alongside the true dark stories that either inspired or arose from them. A chilling listen that also has a TV show in the works.
  • Myths and Legends - Re-tellings of both popular and obscure legends that make them very accessible to a modern audience (i.e. people like me who DON’T read Beowulf in it’s original Old English for fun in their free time).
  • Sleep With Me* - Honestly, I have no idea what this podcast is actually about because Ackerman’s ramblings are so soothing I’m usually asleep shortly after turning it on. If you have insomnia and problems falling asleep to silence (like myself), this is a must-download - it’s more engaging that rain/wave/whale noises but you don’t have to worry about missing anything.

Literature

  • Escape Pod - Every episode consists of a sci-fi short story from a variety of sub-genres, and they are generally 30-60 minutes in length. If you enjoy Escape Pod, also check out their fantasy (PodCastle) and horror (PseudoPod) podcasts.
  • The NoSleep Podcast - Narrations of short horror stories posted to the NoSleep reddit board. It’s featured horror stories for every squick and trigger imaginable so be careful with this one if you aren’t into hardcore horror, and definitely heed the warnings at the beginnings of episodes.

True Crime

  • Serial - I don’t think it’s possible to be a podcast fan and not have (at the very least) heard about Serial. If you haven’t listened to it yet, definitely give it a go - there’s a reason it was at the top of the (Canadian) iTunes store for close to a year. It’s produced by ‘This American Life’, which is another professionally-produced podcast worthy of downloading.
  • Someone Knows Something - A series produced by CBC that examines unsolved cases of missing or murdered individuals.
  • Thin Air Podcast - Two English majors investigate cold cases by examining evidence and interviewing people involved with the original investigation.

Pending - I either haven’t started these or haven’t listened to enough to categorize them, but most have been rec’d by multiple sources so check them out!

  • A New Winter - A first-hand account of the unsolved murders and disappearances of 25 people in a small UK village.
  • The Cleansed: A Post-Apocalyptic Saga - (audio drama - sci-fi) An epic post-apocalyptic saga set in a world ravaged by fossil fuel scarcity.
  • Greater Boston - An audio drama set in Boston that blends the real and the unreal, the historical and the fantastical.
  • Hadron Gospel Hour - (audio drama - sci-fi)A sci-fi comedy/adventure following a duo of scientists stranded ouside of spacetime in the Hadron Bunker.
  • Jim Robbie and the Wanderers - (audio drama - sci-fi) Follows two female musicians travelling surreal America with their robot companion, Jim Robbie.
  • Monster Talk - (informational) Examines the science behind cryptozoological and legendary monsters. 
  • The Night Blogger - (audio drama - paranormal) It appears to follow blogger Brian Foster’s encounters with the paranormal.
  • Our Fair City - (audio drama - sci-fi) A campy (their words), post-apocalyptic audio drama.
  • Pete’s Paranormal Chronicles -  (audio drama) In 1996, Pete Schwartz began work on a documentary series called Pete’s Paranormal Chronicles, but his sanity began to unravel during the production of the program and he became completely immersed in a nationwide conspiracy.
  • The Twilight World of Ultimate Smoothness - A podcast chronicling the decline and fall of radio veteran Greg Willis. It is a 6-part mini-series.
  • Ruby: The Adventures of a Galactic Gumshoe -  (audio drama) Ruby is a hip, tough-talking detective hired to track down the malefactors who are manipulating the media on the planet Summa Nulla (the “high point of nothing”).
  • Unexplained - (informational) A podcast about strange and mysterious real-life events that continue to evade explanation.

As always, if there’s a podcast you like that’s missing from this list, please drop me a line (message, ask, fan mail, raven, etc. etc.) and I’ll check it out! I’ll also be adding a podcast link to my blog featuring this list with updates. Enjoy~

anonymous asked:

(so I sent this before, but I don't think it send correctly.) I'm writing an IronPanther one shot, and I'm trying to describe T'Challa in a way that isn't fetishizing. Do you have any tips for ways I can describe him that is very appreciative of the way he looks without being hella creepy? What are some dos and don'ts?

Hi!  Thanks for your question :)  It’s very responsible of you to be mindful of this issue.  I’ll try to cover the bases, but I’m not a person of color, so this is only based on reading and research…


Writing Characters of Color: Dos and Don’ts

First things first: I would suggest to anyone writing characters of color that you should follow @writingwithcolor.  It’s my absolute favorite blog on the topic of diverse writing, and includes plenty of resources for most races and cultures.  I’ll probably link you to a couple of their posts in this guide, so keep an eye out!  So here we go…

Do: Make their race clear.

In fact, clearly designate the race of all characters!  Even if a majority of your characters are white, you should state this in their description – otherwise, you’re painting the image that white is Baseline and Normal, while black/brown/beige are Divergent and Strange.  Understand that many readers will assume White Until Proven Otherwise.  This means that if you shy away from stating a character’s color in the fear of offending PoC readers, you’re actually just erasing the character’s race altogether.  (Personal note: obviously your readers will know what color T’Challa is, so this is a point for the future.)

Don’t: Use descriptors that make me hungry.

“Chocolate,” “caramel,” “coffee,” “brown sugar,” “cinnamon,” “honey” – you get the idea.  Anything that could also be used to describe my dessert is probably a terrible idea.  Not only is this not at all how white characters are described, which is unfair, but the reduction of adult, three-dimensional people to grocery items has racially-aggressive roots.  This is where I’m gonna link you to Writing With Color’s guide on how (and how not) to describe characters of color.

Do: Familiarize yourself with the harmful stereotypes.

This means a little research, no matter what race you’re writing.  A lot of the racist mistakes made in literature/fanfiction come from a place of ignorance, sometimes willfully.  People avoid learning the dirty past of racial representation in media, because they’re afraid they’ll subconsciously absorb them.  It’s a weird complex and I advise you, and all writers, to take the time to glance over the most offensive stereotypes for people of color, women, LGBT, trans/nonbinary, autistic, mentally ill, and disabled people.  This will not only keep you from hurting anyone, but it also makes your writing more unpredictable and interesting!  Plus, it makes you not-one-of-those-douchebags-who-write-two-dimensional-exotic-chocolate-brown-mistresses and all that 👍

Don’t: Desexualize your characters.

This is a common mistake that can come from good intentions.  You’re try so hard not to fetishize a character of color and then it reduces them to a non-sexual, non-attractive broom in the corner.  Characters of color – all characters really – god, especially women – should be three-dimensional and fully developed people, who are not sold to readers on their looks and sexual appeal.  BUT this doesn’t mean you should exclude all sexuality in writing.  T’Challa, for example, is a damn handsome man – you can’t possibly write him and ignore how nice he looks!  So don’t be afraid to describe him physically.  You can describe his eyes and his lips and his muscles and we will read happily.  Go ahead and talk about how smooth and warm and rich his skin is.  As long as sexuality is described through a lens of admiration, rather than objectification – and as long as their sexuality exists in accompaniment to their full, developed personality, and not instead of it – then there’s nothing wrong with making a character bangin’ hot.  So do it.  And lastly…

Do: Consider collaborating with a beta-reader.

You said in your previous ask that this was one of your first attempts at writing characters of color, so I’d suggest that if you feel nervous about it, partner up with a beta-reader who has enough experience to keep you in check.  It’s our responsibility as writers (especially for white, privileged writers such as myself) to learn to look at ourselves and assess whether or not we’ve crossed the line.  Having someone beta-read for you will show you the critical thinking process to go through, so eventually, you’ll be able to do it without thinking about it!  Maybe a few people here would be interested in a betaship.


Those are my top Dos and Don’ts, but as always, this is limited to my experience.  Be sure to check out @writingwithcolor and do your research – and remember that no matter how much research you do, you’re bound to make a mistake or two.  If it happens and a reader points it out to you, don’t beat yourself up about it or get defensive.  Just apologize, correct the mistake, and move on.

Thanks again, and good luck :)  Happy writing!


If you need advice on general writing or NaNoWriMo, you should maybe ask me!

anonymous asked:

pls give us some fluffy klance headcanons i'm starving

i’m literally just.. gonna pick some stuff i saved in my drafts randomly lmao

  • the first time they properly hug, they have that classic “never letting go till someone starts coughing behind them” moment. when they realize for how much they’ve held each other, they separate at the speed of light blushing profusely
  • now that the paladins know there’s a space mall, lance is determined to ask keith on a date there, so he pretends they have to go for a mission. “soooo, coran told me we have to get something for him at the space mall and specifically said he wants you and me to go get it for him” “are you sure? i’ve talked to him 10 minutes ago and he didn’t mention anything?” “uh…yeah? he told me ‘cause i’m his favourite paladin duh!” “alright let’s go”. so once they’re there lance confesses there was no commission to do for coran he just wanted to ask him out and keith smiles fondly, takes his hand and they walk together around the shops
  • supposing lance was jealous of keith during 2x06, i want him to ask keith again about him and allura. “you know i just wanna make sure….not that i like you or anything…” “lance. you know there’s nothing between me and the princess i just wanted to see how long it would take for you to confess”
  • i’m not exactly fond of angst, but near death experience love confessions are starting to grow on me so there’s that
  • red and blue are married and therefore have a deep connection so they spill to their respective paladins what the other thinks of them and :)
  • or even better…. meeting some aliens that can read minds or something and one of them is like “the red paladin is in love with one of u” and lance *laughs nervously* “ahah it can’t be me right” keith: stares at the camera
  • i want!! more lance gushing over keith but this time keith actually hears him and does the same back. basically the next time he notices lance hanging around the hall, he brings shiro with him and starts talking about how amazing lance is and makes sure he hears him
  • lance being aware!!! of the effect his flirting has on keith to the point he flirts with him pratically everyday and keith doesn’t know if he can’t handle it and shiro has to listen to every of his love problems
  • keith being able to recognize lance’s smell. i assume he likes to put cologne and smell nice, so keith’s pining ass would probably recognize his scent even a mile away. “still no news on lance?” “he’s coming back. i can smell his perfume” “how the hell do you know that” “….. it’s a … galra thing” (it’s not)
  • keith dragging lance along his plan to help shiro and allura get together but in the process they manage to resolve their own feelings
  • once in an established relationship, i want them not only to be a power couple, but to be so proud of it they actually brag about it with the enemies they meet
  • lance coming up with the most silliest pick up lines just to make keith laugh: “are you a tv? because i would watch you all day” “lance please” “only the best pick up lines for the best boyfriend” “i’m pretty sure you’re talking about yourself then” hashtag plan backfired
  • keith struggling about finding lance a gift once he knows his bday is coming up, so he goes on a solo mission to try and find a planet that has nice flowers in it. but he doesn’t have the courage to give the bouquet to him, so he writes him a card and leaves them in front of his room’s door. “most beautiful flowers for the most beautiful boy i know” keith thinks he’s slick because lance doesn’t know his handwriting, but he actually does, so the next day lance puts a card under his door that said “thank you -L” and keith falls on the floor
  • lance was very popular in class back at the garrison because of his friendly personality and keith tells that to him one day and how much he actually wanted to be his friend and lance is like “you know….there was this guy at the garrison, he was good at many things, except talking to people. but…. i liked him anyway”
  • keith saying that he doesn’t smile often and lance retorting “you’re not that grumpy i’ve seen you smile” “what do you mean” “You know….that smile you do when your eyes are shining…. like y’all have seen right” shiro: lance i’m pretty sure you’re either imagining it or he smiles like that just at you. cue a very flustered lance leaving the room
  •  this is super overused but i love the idea of keith telling lance “I’ve already lost Shiro I can’t lose you too” and then hugging him
  • “are you a tree? because i pine for you” “lance why are you practising your pick up lines with me” “Ha..ha….of course….just…practising.”
  • if lance can surf i really want to see him teaching keith how to please beach episode i need you
  • blatant flirting!!!! without realizing that it’s flirting!!! which is basically what they do in canon but you know….basically a “everybody can tell except them” kind of situation
  • cheek kisses, because i live for them, even better if it’s something done on impulse and unexpected
  • keith watching lance proudly doing something and accidentally slipping “that’s my lance” out loud. shiro: i didn’t know you two were dating? keith: i left the stove open i gotta go
  • keith and lance have never actually referred to each other as friends and i want that this is not a romantic thing but i just need to hear them saying “he’s my friend” ya feel
  • lance meeting a very awake keith in the middle of the night and asking him what’s wrong. “trouble sleeping?” “yeah” “is it because you’ve been thinking about me? :3″ “GOODNIGHT LANCE”

ok i hope i satisfied you enough lol <3

the bayard is the paladin is the lion: a season 3 prediction

Alternatively titled: Watch This Child Jeopardize Her GPA in Real Time As She Ignores Her Midterms to Write Yet Another Fucking Meta

The lovely @littleblackchats already wrote an awesome post about the symbolism of the bayards for each of the characters in Voltron. But I was wondering: could we take it a step further and use the weapons - and what they say symbolically about the paladins wielding them - to make an informed guess about who’s going to end up in what lion next season?

(even if the answer to that question is no, i’m already writing this so whatever)

Since Allura, Keith, and Lance are the most likely to be swapped into new lions (or, in Allura’s case, to be put into a lion for the first time), I thought it’d be cool to take a look at what the weapons each of them wields says about their personalities, and whether that can give us hints as to who’s gonna be the Black Paladin next season while Shiro’s gone.

Alright, so in episode 1, Allura tells us that a lion’s quintessence is mirrored in its paladin, and that the paladin shapes the bayard. So lion = paladin = bayard. The lion and paladin should be similar in personalty, and the bayard should be compatible to the paladin’s style of fighting and personality as well. This is shown really well in Hunk and Pidge: Pidge’s weapon is small (like her), electric (reflecting her interest in computers), and made for precision (Pidge is more interested in finding clever solutions than just brute-forcing problems), while Hunk’s is big (just like him), long-range (reflecting his wish to stay distanced from conflict), and packs a punch (Hunk is the strongest character on the team, after all).

So the weapons tell us something about the personalities of the ones using them. But what can their respective weapons tell us about Keith, Lance, and Allura?

Keep reading

Highlights from Talks Machina (Episode 105)

Again, covering for @eponymous-rose​ while she continues her international vacation! Sorry for missing last week–things got crazy! Tonight’s guests: Darin de Paul, Taliesin sporting a lovely scarlet mohawk, and Travis. Brian starts a story that ends with him forging several signatures, and off we go.

  • The new campaign guide comes out soon! Taliesin is now worried about messing up the history of a character he invented.
  • Darin loves D&D as a long-form improv exercise and is happy he was able to get moments with each of the cast members.
  • Right after college, Darin was an apprentice at the Burt Reynolds Theater in Florida (a year-long program for theater students). One of his co-apprentices was Matt’s mom, and Matt’s grandmother was the director’s assistant. Matt’s father was part of the writing room. During the run of Darin’s last show (Fiddler), a clarinet player said they were going to play D&D and invited Darin. Matt’s mother was also in the group; they were all new to the game, so they rolled on a table for names and played four sessions. Last year, Darin was hired by Blizzard to do various voices, which is where he and Matt became friends. Later, Matt realized his mom had a picture of herself with Darin de Paul, and discussion of that picture led to the conversation of their D&D game. It’s been 37 years since Sprigg’s original campaign.
  • Matt was worried about fitting Sprigg in until Darin mentioned he was a hermit. The hobgoblin TPK was canon! Sprigg, a chaotic evil illusionist thief, was the only one to survive; the last moment of that campaign had him fleeing on a cart with wolves chasing him, abandoning the rest of the party to their deaths. Travis and Taliesin ask if he really was chaotic evil; “Why do you think he was so interested in redemption, dear boy?”
  • The first episode Darin saw was the Trials of the Take episode when the carpet was destroyed. He’s wanted to be on the show ever since.
  • Symmetra’s voice actor, Anjali Bhimani, also plays D&D. My heart skips a few beats.
  • Vex and Percy eloped over the year break. Laura and Taliesin kept it secret out of pique at first (Taliesin doesn’t remember why they were piqued). He’s not surprised the others are annoyed.
  • Grog was extremely impressed by Sarenrae and hasn’t thought much about Kord giving him any boons.
  • Darin has been a fan of the show and watching for some time. Taliesin says he is the most prepared guest they’ve ever had.
  • Very few people were present at Vex & Percy’s wedding. They did not intend to ever bring it up on their own.
  • The plane of books is the worst possible plane for Grog. Only the plane of shopping would be worse.
  • As soon as Darin walked into the studio last Thursday, Travis immediately asked him if he was a god. Travis still thinks he might be.
  • Percy would rather have a thousand years with Vex than a thousand years with Ioun’s library.
  • Travis wants a “positive, upbeat resolution to all the drama that is a-hanging in the air.” Me too. Travis does not read the Player’s Handbook to help keep Grog dumb, so he never knows what’s going on.
  • Travis loves how prepared Darin was. He offered the Deck because he thought Darin was looking for something specific after Sprigg deflected the weaker offerings.
  • Darin loved the emotion in the room during the plane shift and the strong moment with Marisha in particular. He also likes the movie Gargoyles.
  • The hardest thing about playing Sprigg after so long was finding him again. Brian gets very sentimental about the long journey that brought Sprigg back to life, including Darin becoming friends and colleagues with Matt so many years later.
  • Darin will be back on the next episode and is visibly excited about it.
  • Darin used to read tons of D&D books (mentions Drizzt by name) and used to paint minis as a hobby. He still has some of the figures and wants to donate them to the show.
  • Darin’s wife was part of Taliesin’s parents’ circle, so he’s known her for a long time. Taliesin and Darin exchange memories of meeting Roddy McDowall, and Darin says part of Sprigg’s concept of memories being the most important came from a conversation he had with Roddy while Roddy was dying of cancer.
  • Percy’s current distrusting attitude towards the gods came directly from his interaction with the Raven Queen. However, he didn’t know there was a god of knowledge and has been “chewing on it a lot, and what it means to have faith in knowledge.” He sees the library as a testament to faith in humanity and the good works of life and how important memory is and is blown away by it. “Books have always been about finding meaning and this whole library thing has changed him.” Taliesin expected Percy to be much more resistant to Ioun and was surprised at how quickly the books sold him.
  • Darin felt as the scenes progressed that his role was to “illuminate” CR as to where they were and what they could be. Taliesin and Percy both wondered if he was Scanlan from the future. Darin had the choice of being Scanlan’s dad, but declined.
  • Percy picked Vesper because her namesake was the last person he’d talked to in real life.
  • The only place Travis can think of worse for Grog is if the books were replaced with clothing & a For Sale sign. “Grog has a beatnik poet inside him waiting to get out.”
  • Darin’s advice to Keyleth was total improv. He almost cried when she touched his hand. He loves funny characters that can become sad and/or touching.
  • Marisha has no idea how to get Keyleth out of her emotional nosedive. Watching Marisha break character from Keyleth at the end of an episode is one of Taliesin’s favorite things because they’re such different people.
  • Percy would seek out the lifebooks for all his family & ancestry because he’s fascinated with legacy, and Whitestone is full of ghost stories. He had lots of stories he’d planned to give as part of the gnomes’ tour, and tells one about a woman forced into a marriage who slowly poisoned her husband over a number of years.
  • Sprigg feels he is what Scanlan might become. He did not expect to survive the episode.
  • If they were really in Ioun’s halls, Travis would love to see the books of his family and of JFK. Darin would like to see his father’s book. Darin also likes wearing suits, which is why he wears suits. He only wears t-shirts at the gym. (At one point Darin’s family also owned 20 horses???). He wishes his parents could see him now because they were so supportive when he was growing up.

Honor! Justice! After Dark, After Dark, After Dark!

  • If the challenge for Ioun involves any physical activity, Grog will fight Percy for it.
  • Bucket lists: Travis wants to swim with a great white shark. (Darin’s biggest fear is great white sharks.) Taliesin wants to travel to India. Darin wants to learn to tap dance, and casually drops that he used to dance with Cirque du Soleil.
  • Darin’s favorite color is black. His favorite season is winter.
  • There’s a video somewhere of Darin de Paul and Steve Blum pretending to be zombies and running towards the camera.
  • Travis and Darin do Reinhardt “impressions” by talking in high-pitched baby voices. Taliesin does a pretty decent actual impression! Darin likes that there’s heroes for every playstyle.
  • Darin hasn’t told Matt’s parents he brought back Sprigg. He also used to have a crush on Matt’s mom.
  • If Darin could pick any character from VM to play, he would play Scanlan. Brian teases the entire world by saying he would play “the character Pike’s in love with.”
  • Darin’s twitter flooded after last Thursday and he wishes he could respond to all of the kind messages.
  • Darin once shared floss with Gilbert Gottfried as part of an old bit.
  • Darin feels his whole history has led to this moment last Thursday where he had the chance to create a story with people he loved.
  • Laura read the Game of Thrones books as they came out, well before the show started. Brian just found the copy of the first book she lent him in 2010, which he still hasn’t read.
  • If Sprigg could fight any D&D monster, it would be a hobgoblin.

fullmooninthenightsky  asked:

Hey, I read you answered questions on witchcraft and I'm just about starting out on being a witch and I'm just kinda lost. How do I find out what kind of a witch I am, for example? And what about room decor, plants, drying herbs, crystals, sigils and others? How do I even start being a witch?Do you have any websites or blogs (or tips?) that could help me out? Thank you ♡ x

Hi there!

You find out what kind of witch you are, by deciding what kind of witchcraft you want to practice. Most people just choose what they want to be, based off what they like, what they feel drawn to, or just what they want to do. [Here] is a list of types of witches that might inspire you / help you get started on finding a type of magic you want to work with first. This list is not extensive, and what you choose you aren’t stuck with forever - you can try other things, combine things, whatever you want to do! Witchcraft is super personal, and it’s all for you, by you. You also don’t need to confine your magic to any singular label; you can choose more than one to work with.

I picked sigil magic to start with, for example, because it seemed easy, and I knew I could draw; it also required very little supplies, and it also honestly seemed the least likely to backfire. xD My craft eventually evolved into eclectic magic, because I began using a bit of everything else (crystals, herbs, candles, etc.) in my magic to get what I needed.

As for room decor, that’s up to you. You don’t need it, though. You don’t need to *look* witchy to *be* witchy. If you need to be on the down low about your magic, you don’t have to draw huge pentacles on your walls or wear all black or anything like that to still have magic work. What makes you a witch or magic user is what’s inside you, not around you (it can help but, you know, not required). But, if you want to make your room look “witchy,” whatever that means to you, go right for it. But I don’t think it will impact your magic in any way. (I don’t view altars / magical work spaces as decor - they are more than just decorations.)

In regards to plants, it’s another case of if you want to. All my herbs I get pre-dried in grocery stores and bulk stores, because I can’t grow plants worth squat. I’ve taken fresh herbs from grocery stores, actually, that’s a lie, but they were already grown, and I just hung them in my window to dry them. If you want to try growing your own herbs, feel free, but it isn’t necessary - pre-dried and store bought have worked perfectly for me for the last two years. (I also don’t know anything about growing herbs or gardening, so you’d need to go elsewhere for those answers.)

Working with crystals and sigils are optional - they can prove beneficial, but if you don’t want to do that, you don’t need to. 

Working with *anything* is optional, when you get right down to it - all these things, candles, herbs, crystals, are just amplifiers and focuses for magic. You can perform witchcraft with just your own body, energy, and intent. You just need to know how. (P.S. [energy work] is how.)

Doing your own research will never go amiss, let me tell you that right now. I know it can seem daunting, and you don’t know where to start, but seriously, just a Google search of “witchcraft crystal magic” or “witchcraft sigil magic” can pull up a lot of information and give you more ideas of where to go that you can follow on your own. (I really recommend specifying “witchcraft” when searching on the internet, because you might get a lot of pop culture links that just aren’t relevant, or a variety of other articles that might not be applicable.)

You start being a witch by deciding you want to be a witch. Boom, congratulations, welcome to witchcraft! :D From there, it’s going to be a lot of research. Research will help you determine more about witchcraft in general, and from there you can decide what you want to do with it. Once you have an idea of things you might want to try - working with crystals, herbs, sea magic, etc. - you can do more focused research on those topics. 

Once you have an idea of what you want to do, try it out. Give some things a shot and practice. Write down what you try, so if it doesn’t work or things go wrong, you can look back and think “what if I try this instead?.” and then try it. It really is all about experimentation. You will make mistakes, spell may not work - it is something that has happened to us all, and likely will again. Nothing is perfect and neither is magic. Don’t be daunted, though - you are new to it, it will take some time to get the hang of and build your confidence up. Just stay positive, and remember that mistakes are learning experiences, and help define you more as witch. Never give up. The magic is inside you, you just need to find the right way to work with it. 

Here are some more posts on starting with witchcraft:

Some of my favorite blogs:

@breelandwalker @oldmotherredcap @fuckyeahpaganism
@recreationalwitchcraft @maddiviner @cunningcelt @witchtips
@teapartyforthewitches @sigilathenaeum @orriculum @magpiesmagicnest
@the-darkest-of-lights @witchy-infobook @thepaganstudygrouppage
@spooniewitches @lowspoonswitchcraft @neurowitchcraft @neurodwitches
@witchy-words  @urbanspellcraft @witchsaves @thewitchlessons
@thewitchingour @witchy-woman @violetwitchcraft @spiritvexer
@the-ram-witch @theoryofmagick @low-budget-witches @witchoncampus
@phoenyxoftheashes @cosmic-witch @phaesphore @stormbornwitch  
@stormwaterwitch @witchglitch @cladinscarlet @smokeandblueroses  
@darkwoodswitch @alsowitchcraft @nightkunoichi @stsathyre
@witchofkeys @witchy-tips @witchy-businesss @thiscrookedcrown
@herbs-and-spells @herbs-and-journals @belladonnaswitchblog
@the-atypical-pagan @thepunkgreenwitch @liberumbrarum
@upthewitchypunx @queerkitchenwitch @lavenderspells @witchcraftings
@broomcorner @modern-witchcraft @themoonmysteries
@idontusemycauldrons

Long post, but yeah, I hope that helps you! If you have any more questions, I’ll do what I can to help you. :)

accidentally?

Based on this prompt I said I’d fill a few days ago:

boss: “know why I called you in here?”
me: “because I accidentally sent you a dick pic”
boss: “accidentally?”

yup.

(on ao3)

“You need to stop pining after people you haven’t even spoken to,” Lydia says one day, probably because Derek—er, Mr. Hale, their boss—has just stepped through the front door of the cafe where they’re having lunch, and Stiles has trailed off mid-word to watch him walk up to the counter. In Stiles’ defense, he’s never seen Mr. Hale outside of the office before, let alone Mr. Hale wearing a leather jacket over his dress shirt. God, and Stiles thought the tailored suits were bad enough…

Anyway.

“Uh, I have too spoken to him,” Stiles says indignantly, tearing his eyes away from Derek’s broad back across the room. “One day I was coming out of the break room and I almost walked right into him and he said, ‘Excuse me,’ so then I said, ‘Oops,’ and he smiled at me. Kind of. A little bit. I mean, I interpreted it as a smile. There was some prolonged eye contact.”

Lydia abruptly stops stirring her fat-free latte to stare at him—one of those Oh god, it’s worse than I thought kind of looks. “That’s it?”

Keep reading

I'm so tired of

- always being the one who cares more
- knowing i’ll always need them more than they need me
- feeling completely useless
- hating my reflection
- feeling painfully invisible
- having no idea what i’m going to do with my life
- people asking me what i want to do when i leave school
- being stressed, like all the time
- always looking at pretty people and feeling so angry and jealous because of how ugly i am
- feeling like if i died today, no one would notice… no one would care…

An observation of Markiplier TV

Emphasis on the observation part because I’ve never really been good with theories. I have a number of things to do today but unfortunately, I watched this video and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Hopefully this’ll quiet my mind and let me function, and who knows? Maybe it’ll help someone out there with their own theories too. :)

So, let’s talk about this scene:

We got one hell of a group here BUT what I’d like to focus on is their seating arrangement and what that could mean, because if there’s anything I’ve learned in videos like this it’s that EVERYTHING is by design. This entire table scene (props to the Editor btw) has so much hidden psychological subtext in it, so while I’m no professional I’ll still do my best to uncover them all.

First off, let’s look at the table: Rectangular with two long ends and two short ones. Pretty normal setting yeah, but is it beneficial to their situation (i.e. finding a way to ‘take control’) where everyone easily agrees? Nope. Because tables like these embody competition and a clear sense of authority, and I love this detail. It means that while they could’ve easily gone for a round table to promote cooperation, they go for this because of course, no one’s going to cooperate that easily.

This setting, however, works better in the business cooperative world, because you got two people (Darkiplier & Wilford) who can control the meeting from both ends of the table and are essentially the people everyone will need to look up to.

Here’s a great detail though: In this kind of setting, the more powerful of the two is usually the one opposite the entrance to the room. This allows him not just a vantage point of whoever comes in and goes, but complete control as well. And as we see where King of the Squirrels pops up:

Originally posted by antisepticjack

Which we can easily tell was from the right of the room based on the direction his body and eyes shift to, we can point out where the entrance is and who was right there:

But yeah, in this moment it didn’t seem like Will had control over King’s sudden entrance but let’s face it: he doesn’t care. He already knows that there’s more than one king in that room.

Speaking of, let’s move on to the seating arrangement.

Obviously we got Dark and Will at the ends as the higher ups, but I’d like to talk about Googleplier and The Host.

In medieval times, kings would often have their advisors right at their side at the table. This actually explains the term “right hand man”, because the king would have them close at hand to help him rule, unless of course, he was left-handed. Looking back at Dark’s antics, I have reason to believe that he’s either left-handed or ambidextrous.

Originally posted by http-darkiplier-403forbidden

Which I guess would make sense, considering that while Ed, Bim, Silver and Dr. Iplier were all concerned about their parts in the video, only Google and The Host were able to keep a level head and not lose sight of their main goal/situation.

Now the last thing I want to talk about is Wilford’s idea for Markiplier TV. I must warn you though because this is going to be a bit of a stretch so stop reading if you’d like BUT… I think he may have been inspired by Anti.

AGAIN, please bear with me. Jack’s mentioned before that Dark and Anti ever meeting each other was very unlikely, which in Dark’s case (being the alter ego that’s been pushed inside the most) could be more than true. However, Wilford makes up for this as he’s the only one not bound by the laws of physics and is, potentially, omnipresent. So it’s possible that he’s aware of Anti (since he was aware of Septiplier after all) and his methods (i.e. using social media to have his fans notice him which then gives him control) BUT, being Wilford, he goes about it in his own roundabout way which is, of course, TELEVISION.

So, yeah, this is all I can come up with. Excluding my attempt in theorizing at the very end I hope this was helpful. Now I’m just hoping that my thoughts on Antisepticeye don’t get too hectic and end up like this long wall of text. Thanks for reading. :)

anonymous asked:

Can someone help me understand the Ace Spectrum, please? I'm trying to make sense of... things and I'm so confused I don't know what to do.

Of course!

So, the place where I think most of us get confused on our ace identity journey is with separating out types of attraction, and also separating out attraction from sex drive. So let’s talk about those two things:

There are many kinds of attraction, but we’re going to talk about these: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, and sensual. The idea of the split attraction model is that you don’t have to be attracted to someone in more than one of the ways above at the same time to still experience real and powerful attraction of a specific kind. For most allosexual (non-ace spectrum) folks, they tend to experience all four modes of attraction at the same time, and in particular sexual, aesthetic, and sensual attraction are so deeply tied together that they may not realize they’re actually three separate things. In ace folks, those modes of attraction are often not experienced at the same time, and one of them (sexual attraction) may not ever be experienced at all.

Romantic attraction is, well, someone you’re romantically attracted to. You want to spend your time with them, you think about them when they’re gone, they inspire poetry in you, etc etc.

Sexual attraction is basically when you see a person and think, Wow, I’d hit that. This is the kind of attraction people on the ace spectrum either don’t experience at all or don’t experience as often/broadly as allosexual folks, so we’ll come back to this one in a bit.

Aesthetic attraction is when something hits you just right in the beauty department and you want to look at it for a while. In my own personal experience with both myself and my ace friends, this type of attraction is often (but by all means not always or in everyone) hyper-powered in aces. I’m ace, and lemme tell you, there are people I could stare at forever. But I have never once in my entire life looked at one of those people and thought Wow I’d climb them like a tree. Just never happened, probably never will, because I don’t actually experience sexual attraction.

This particular kind of attraction often trips up people who are struggling to understand asexuality, to which I’d suggest this amazing example I’ve seen floating round the interwebs: You ever go out hiking, and you come to the top of a mountain and you see this breathtaking view of other mountains and valleys stretched out for miles before you, and it’s so incredibly beautiful that you just sit right down and stare at it for a while, and maybe you decide to take an early lunch so you can enjoy the view some more because it’s that lovely. But do you at any point want to bang the mountains? No, you do not. (I mean, if you do, we’re not judging, but let’s assume for most folks the answer is no :-p) And that is the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction.

Sensual attraction is when you see a person and want to touch or hug or cuddle them in a non-sexual way. Some aces don’t experience this at all. Others experience it quite a lot. Still others experience it somewhere in the middle. For some aces it’s tied exclusively to romantic attraction. For others it’s tied to affection in general (familial, platonic, romantic, etc.). For others, it’s tied to aesthetic attraction. There are all kinds of reasons you might experience sensual attraction, but it’s important to remember that it doesn’t have to be tied to sexual attraction in any way.

So, that’s the split attraction model. To make a personal example, I experience aesthetic attraction roughly every 0.4 seconds, romantic and sensual attraction very rarely (and not always together), and sexual attraction literally never (I’m all the way on the far end of the ace spectrum). And my aesthetic attractions don’t necessarily line up with my romantic or sensual attractions, and vice versa. But aces are many and varied and beautiful, and everyone’s going to experience these attractions differently.

The other thing I wanted to talk about is how sexual attraction =/= sex drive. Folks struggling to identify on the ace spectrum often think they’re not “allowed” to be ace because they masturbate, or they watch porn, or they’re experiencing sexual attraction to their current partner. But here’s the thing: all of those experiences are 100% valid and do not make you any less ace.

First, remember that asexuality, like all sexualities, is a spectrum. So you may be all the way on one end of the spectrum like me (never experiences sexual attraction under any circumstance), or you may be demisexual (only experiences sexual attraction with someone to whom you’ve formed a deep emotional relationship) gray ace (only experiences sexual attraction rarely, for reasons that may or may not involve emotional connection). Both of those orientations are valid asexual identities that involve sexual attraction, and experiencing sexual attraction in those ways does not invalidate your identity on the ace spectrum.

Second, it’s important to remember that sex drive doesn’t actually have to be tied in any way to sexual attraction. Think about the human body like a machine. Just because you’re ace doesn’t mean the pipes don’t still work, you know? You can still experience arousal, you can still enjoy orgasm, you can still enjoy porn, you can even still enjoy sex with other people. None of those things means you experience sexual attraction to the person(s) you’re watching or with. Many aces have extremely active sex drives. Many aces have robust solo sex lives. Many aces read or watch porn to get off (check out autochorissexual; it’s an identity many aces feel at home with, including me). And there are endless valid reasons why an ace person might have sex with someone (you want the emotional intimacy, you’re horny, it makes your partner happy and you don’t mind it at all, you’re wildly in love and want to express it physically, you’re sensually attracted and want the physical closeness, you want to get/get someone pregnant, it just plain feels good, etc. etc. etc.), not one of which need involve sexual attraction to the person you’re sleeping with. Of course, if you’re gray ace or demisexual, you may very well experience a deep sexual attraction to the person you’re with. The point is, aces can and do have sex drives, masturbate, watch porn, and have sex with other people. Although I feel it’s also important to point out here that it’s perfectly okay not to do any of these things; some aces are sex repulsed and/or touch-averse and that is 100% valid too.

Okay so this answer is getting crazy long now, and I feel like I’ve covered the general bases, so I’m going to wrap up. But if you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask! Half the staff here is ace and we’re always happy to talk about it, either in broad strokes or via our own personal experiences.

I know they’re just fictional characters, it’s been 78 years and this is not good for my blood pressure, but it physically pains me when people take the best scenes of Sasuke caring as proof of how much he doesn’t care.

Sasuke can’t word. Like, at all. He’s absolutely terrible at stuff like giving verbal reassurance or even at explaining himself clearly. He’s your go-to guy if you have a meteorite problem or an alien problem or… some other highly unlikely problem like that, but to assume that he possesses the basic skills necessary to send an obligatory ‘get well soon’ card to someone without accidentally insulting the person’s intelligence and ancestors in the process would be a mistake.

To make things even more hilarious (or sad depending on the context) it’s not even a tsundere thing. He doesn’t say the opposite of what he means, he says exactly what he means but in such a succinct and blunt fashion it leaves people feeling like he’s being purposefully vague or just straight up rude. This is because Sasuke can not only not word but he also can’t people, so he’s the type who will assume that his partner in conversation will just get what he means if he gives them a nudge – or a hn, I suppose – in the right direction. A prime example of this would be every time he called Sakura “annoying” when what he really meant was, “I already decided to leave you and everyone else I care about behind so could you maybe stop actively reminding me of how incredibly difficult that was,” as well as this glorious mess right here:

What Sakura thinks Sasuke just said: My life is none of your business.

What Sasuke thinks Sasuke just said: It’s my road to redemption. You have nothing to do with my sins. [It doesn’t matter whether or not I want you with me because this isn’t your cross to bear. I can’t expect you to leave your family and friends behind and put your career on hold in favor of wandering around the continent with me while I sort out the mess that is my life. You have a life of your own and while I’m grateful for your offer, I care about you too much to take you up on it.] *forehead poke*

Keep reading

frostedej  asked:

Draco using the toaster. Poptarts fly out. Draco ends up on top of something and stays there till Harry comes home.

“Don’t move, Potter!”

“Er– what?” Harry had just come home and had been about to step into the kitchen when he heard his boyfriend’s anxious directive.

“I said, don’t move! The second you move, that awful muggle contraption you insisted on buying will attack. Trust me. I’ve already become its victim.”

“What are you even–” Harry cut himself off as, rounding the corner, he caught sight of Draco lying very still on top of the island in the center of their kitchen. He was staring intently across the room at the shiny red toaster, from which protruded two garishly pink–

“Are those Pop Tarts?” Harry asked incredulously. He had no idea where Draco could have possibly come by the sugar-filled American snacks. Nor why Draco, who was still suspicious of all things Muggle, might have considered actually eating one.

“I said not to move, Potter!!”

Harry couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up at Draco’s ridiculousness. He was still laying perfectly still on the counter. “What happened?”

“Stop walking at it! It’s vicious! I put in one of those awful-looking things, and then I pushed down on the little black part just like you showed me. And I stood there and waited! And waited! And the inside started to change colours—and I think Weasley must have convinced it to support the Canons because it was hideously orange—but no matter how long I stared, nothing was happening! So I moved to get my wand and then BANG! The THINGS flew out and right for my face. My face, Potter. And if you don’t cease your laughter right this minute I swear–”

Sorry, sorry!” Harry gasped, forcing himself to take the situation seriously. “And how did you end up on the island?”

“Well… I don’t really remember. But the time I realised what was happening, I was already laying here, and I didn’t want to risk moving again.”

“Right,” Harry said. “Well, as you can see, I’m moving and am miraculously unscathed by the things. The toaster is perfectly safe.”

Draco looked highly suspicious, but still somehow found the courage to sit up and slip off the counter. “I want that thing out of our house, Potter! If you think it’s so safe, I suppose you won’t mind if I just leave you to defeat it on your own.”

With that, Draco turned up his nose and stomped out of the kitchen. Probably going off to check for wounds, Harry thought as his lips turned up into an amused smile. 

He was just making his way over to unplug the toaster—Draco’s word was all but law, so he had no choice but to get rid of it now—when his cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Harry, mate!” It was Ron. “Did Malfoy use the toaster yet?” He sounded full of anticipation.

“The…” Harry sighed as he realised that his boyfriend might not be so ridiculous after all. “Ron. What did you do?”

Harry could somehow hear Ron’s grin over the phone. “Oh, you know. Nothing much. Charmed it to turn orange when he tries to use it. Harmless.”

“That’s all?”

“Well… George did say there might be a few… side effects—”

“Side effects like it attacking my boyfriend’s face?”

Ron laughed shamelessly. “Oh, Merlin, they went for his face?! Oh that’s priceless!”

“Ron! You can’t do that! You know he doesn’t understand Muggle things! How did you get him to try it out anyway?”

“Oh, it was easy! Just gave him some of those Pop Tart things and told him they were your favourite snack,” Ron answered offhand.

Harry’s heart clenched unexpectedly with a wave of affection for his boyfriend. Which was quickly followed by a wave of guilt for laughing at him after all he’d tried to do was make Harry what he’d thought was his favourite snack.

“Ron, I’ve got to go. And you two need to stop your ridiculous prank war. You know if you really do hurt Draco’s face, I’ll never be able to forgive you.”

Ron made a gagging noise. “Gross, mate. Go be a champion for Malfoy’s face somewhere else. I’ll stop hexing your toaster when he stops confunding me every time I go to the bathroom at work.”

Harry smiled. “Fair enough. I’ll see what I can do.”

He hung up the phone and walked over to the toaster, unplugging it and shoving it into a plastic bag. Then he went to find his boyfriend, who was reclining on the sofa reading a copy of Witch Weekly, which Harry was very aware by now was definitely also for Wizards, Potter.

Harry quirked the corner of his mouth and held up the sack full of offensive appliance. “I thought I could go by Ron’s tomorrow on my lunch break to see about dropping this off and charming it to look like his old toaster?” he tried.

And succeeded. Draco’s face broke into a very satisfied grin. “This is why I love you, Potter.”

Harry’s grin developed into a full-on smile. He plopped down on the sofa, held up the sad excuse for a pastry he had taken from the toaster and offered, heedless of Draco’s increasingly disapproving expression, “Pop Tart?”

Plagiarized fics - asking for help from the 1D fandom

Hi everyone! I’m poking my head in your door from the Haikyuu fandom to ask you guys for help. I have spoken to quite a few people in the One Direction fandom thus far and I have been overwhelmed by their kindness, support, and how fast everyone I talked to acted to help me and my friend get this sorted out.

It came to my and my best friend ellessey-writes’s attention (confusing names, sorry! I’m Esselle) this morning that many of our fics had been stolen by the Tumblr/AO3 user Fruxoo, who has since deleted her accounts.

Here are two screenshots of Fruxoo’s fics, posted in April. The first is a direct copy of my story Hunger, completed last June 2016. The second is the summary from Ellie’s story Tea and Sympathy, posted January of this year. The entire text of every fic Fruxoo stole has been copied almost exactly word for word from our fics, changing only the names and other relevant character info.

I messaged her privately and asked that she post an explanation on Tumblr, as well as replace the text of her stolen works with links to our respective stories, in order to notify any readers who enjoyed these works. Unfortunately, she didn’t respond. Now that she has taken everything down, that’s no longer possible.

It would mean the world to Ellie and I if people would help spread the word about what happened. Last year, between the two of us, we wrote 626,000 words. We poured all our energy and love (and time!) into these stories, and to have someone copy them word for word, lie to people who were kind enough to comment or send asks as if they had thought up the ideas on their own, and interact with other people in the 1D fandom based off of love for OUR writing, is devastating to us both. This was going on for at least 2.5 months.

Besides the two stories listed above, we know As Long As You’re Smiling was actually copied from ellessey-writes​​‘s fic The Chronicles of the Virgin Asahi. We think this is the first fic they grabbed, due to the note on the summary. Here is a masterpost of all Ellie’s works from last year, and a link to her AO3.

They also took my incubus story Dreamless and reposted it as Lilin. This fic was posted as a part of a collab for my close friend’s artwork. reallycorking​​ drew this (VERY NSFW) art as part of a 30 day challenge, and the two of us worked together for a full month on Dreamless. Here is my fic masterpost for last year, and a link to my AO3.

I wanted to share links to the rest of our work because we don’t know how many stories she stole (it seemed like there were around 10 in total). We didn’t even have time to make a note of everything before she removed her accounts. So we don’t know what people read and might want to re-find (if there’s any interest cross-fandom).

Again, the One Direction fandom has been so incredibly supportive (Gina, Ange, phd-mama, Emmi, Lisa and everyone who was so helpful and understanding). Ellie and I started off the morning crushed, and now I have comments in my inbox on the fics that were stolen, and asks on Tumblr showing support, and it’s nearly brought me to tears. Thank you all so much. If anyone who sees this would be kind enough to get the word out there in any way (reblogs, just telling your friends who’ve read these stories, anything!!), we’d be incredibly grateful.

THANK YOU, to everyone who takes the time to read this.

Let me tell you what it’s been like being asexual.

-

When you’re twelve or so, and in a classroom full of tittering preteens, you finally get an explanation of what this ‘sex’ stuff actually is.  At last, the elusive knowledge of where babies come from!  But that’s also when you start to think about your sexual future.  Will you do this sex stuff one day?  It sounded like you wouldn’t have a choice—it was presented as something that everyone does.

Since your classroom happens to be in a building attached to a Church, you only learn about heterosexual sex that day, and the only real teaching apart from what it is is that you aren’t supposed to do it until you’re married.

Okay, you think, because you are twelve, and you ardently do not care.

-

When you’re thirteen or so, and at a sleepover, a girl tells a joke.  “What do you call a girl who doesn’t masturbate?”

“I don’t know.”

“A liar.”

And the people around you laugh, but you don’t, because now you wonder what it is that you missed.  You didn’t get the joke.

-

When you’re fourteen or so, and among friends, a boy talks about what he did in the restroom with a girl.  You listen because you’re a little curious.  But others are awed.

You disapprove, because you’re in eighth grade for crying out loud, why would you do something so stupidly risky?  Was it really so fun to be worth it?

You tell yourself that they’re just stupid, but then you wonder why your friends seem so fascinated by this boy’s vaguely uncomfortable descriptions.

-

When you’re fifteen or so, you start high school, and the social signs are telling you the time has arrived to join the dating scene.  You’ve got better things to do, but when a boy surprises you with a clumsy but well-intended text asking you out, you give it consideration.  You don’t really know this kid, but you’re curious about dating and don’t want to be that forever alone person.  You accept.

You don’t hate dating, but it doesn’t really do much for you.  After a little while, you’ve more or less forgotten that there’s someone you call your boyfriend.  When someone makes a passing remark about your presumed sexual relations, you are shocked by the wave of revulsion that smacks into you at the very suggestion.  Never in a million years, you think vehemently, and then you marvel at how you managed to ‘date’ the same person for four months without the thought of sex with them ever crossing your mind.

He tries to kiss you.  You don’t want to.  You know this isn’t going to work out.  You break it off.

You feel relieved and liberated.

-

When you’re sixteen or so, you’re happily single.  You love your friends dearly, your best friend most of all.  You love her far more than you ever…well, you never really loved your ex.  You wonder if you might be gay for her, but you don’t want to kiss her or anything, just squish her in a big hug on a daily basis to let her know you love her and put a smile on her face.

You have a fleeting crush on a boy.  You get over it, thankful it never amounted to anything, because what were you thinking ew!  Then you have another one, similar but different, and thank goodness that never happened either because it would have been so awkward.  You start to wonder if you’re just not cut out for dating, or maybe you’re gay.  You don’t know how to feel about that.  It’d be so much simpler and easier if you were just normal.

-

When you’re seventeen or so, you make a new friend, a really pleasant guy.  You are just friends, and that is perfect.  It lasts about five months, and then one of your friends pulls him aside and hints heavily that he ought to ask you out.

He does.  You have no compunctions about saying yes, because you like him a lot, and he’s taking you to see the new Hobbit movie even though he’s not a fan and he had to watch twelve hours of movies in preparation for this date so that he’d be able to understand your interest.

You have a great time, and so does he.

About a month later, he kisses you.  It was your first kiss, exciting for the seventeen years of buildup and pleasant for having happened on acceptable terms with a more-than-acceptable person.

In the following months, neither of you brings up the topic of sex.  After all, you’re both to be found in the pews on Sunday mornings.  That’s fine by you.  More than fine, actually.  The idea of sex frightens you, which you attribute to your inexperience.  You would only ever consider attempting it with someone you really trusted, on level with a spouse.

-

When you’re eighteen or so, and at a sleepover, a girl cuddles casually with you as you talk in the hushed tones reserved for the hours after midnight.  She laments the lack of available girls at your school.

You mention that you would date a girl.  You instantly have everyone’s attention.

“Is there something you want to tell us?” your cuddle-buddy asks.

You say again that you’d date a girl.  Not now, of course, because you have a boyfriend, but yeah, you’d have no problem with it.  You probably wouldn’t sleep with a girl, but then you really don’t like the idea of sleeping with a boy either.  So you don’t really care about the configuration of genitals you don’t intend to see.  You just want the company of some lovely dork who will marathon Lord of the Rings with you and frequent the city’s best ice cream parlors.

Because your cuddle-buddy is a member of the queer community, she’s much more informed about sexualities and designations and spectrums than you are.  She suggests “panromantic asexual” and you understand both of those terms.  You’d seen them before, but never really thought you qualified.  Hearing her say it makes it somehow more concrete.

You accept that you are panromantic asexual.  You feel so light now that a couple of your closest friends know and accept you as you are.

You tell your mom a little while later on a whim.  You regret it because she doesn’t even bother listening to you and doesn’t respect your trust.  You hear her the next day telling your sister about how you said you might be a lesbian, and you’re so frustrated with her you want to hit something.

You decide not to tell anyone else.  Your dad is pretty homophobic—actually, that’d be most of the adults in your family—and you have no idea how your boyfriend would take it.  Your peers might not be welcoming or understanding—you just don’t know.  You realize that you are sort of in a closet.

You start a blog on Tumblr and blog about your problems #ace #asexual #lgbtqa

You spend way too much time on the internet, looking for the magical solution for coming out to the rest of your loved ones.  But since you don’t actually have any intention of coming out in the near future, you know you’re wasting your time.

Somehow your disinterest in sex has moved to occupy the forefront of your mind, not because it requires lots of attention in order to comprehend, but because it makes you different, and that is distracting.

One day, while you’re reading fanfiction, you come across an explicitly asexual character, and you realize that this is a first.  You cannot think of a single time in your entire life up to this point when you had seen an explicitly asexual character, and that surprises you.  Then it bothers you.  Maybe you could have avoided a couple years of uncertainty and anxiety if you had been able to identify in yourself the familiar characteristics of another asexual.

You realize you don’t know anyone else in your life who’s asexual.

That’s a sobering, isolating realization.

-

When you’re nineteen or so, you presumably go to college.  You start trying to navigate life with some semblance of independence.  You probably feel a little more secure in how you identify yourself.  You might even be all the way out of the closet.

Or at least that’s what eighteen-year-old you hopes.