- Jake: Sakes alive! I recon you must be entrepreneurial alternate macrocosm bro or somesuch! This alt universe malarkey whatsit sure is a doozy. Pleasure to meet you i've been on tenterhooks too make your forthcoming acquaintance! This is simply the dickens, i am preposterously overzealous, you seem akin to a benign fellow. Sorry to bedevil you with preposterous infinitesimal botherations, not to assail you. I'll be bequeathing you your personal space lickity split. Dirk always did verbalize about his puzzlebuster bro and i would detest to besmirch the stider designation. This is just as splendid as a huckleberry. Enough of the bravado, my name is jake!
- Dave, crying: i have no idea what youre saying
as long as we're talking about stiles as hale bait, can i just say that i've always wanted to find an au fic in which stiles finds out that he accidentally has dated/slept with like half the hale family? like he and derek meet and start dating and it's totally love and then derek takes him home and oh shit. there's his first highschool girlfriend who things ended awkwardly with aka cousin malia. who has her mom's last name since her parents never got married.