I just have no fucking idea what my gender is im so frustrated and sad and scared I just want to understand I hate this I don't know what's going to happen dude what do I do
I’m sorry it took me so long to reply to this!!
I wish I could give you some save-all solution that would lead you to the answer, but unfortunately, no such thing exists. What you’re going through is very tough and very personal, no one else, myself included, will be able to give you the answers you’re looking for.
It’s going to take time. That’s one of the hardest things to accept, but rushing yourself only causes more distress. Just try to take a deep breath and slow down. You don’t need to have everything figured out, there’s no cutoff to discovering your gender identity. And really, gender is different for everyone, don’t try to make yourself fit into someone else’s idea of gender.
Try different labels, pronouns, gender expressions, see if any of them feel right or better than others. It’s not so much about finding out exactly what you are, but feeling comfortable in your skin and how the world addresses and perceives you.
Finding and labeling your gender is a very personal thing, it’s for you. Once you let yourself just be, at least in my experience, it’s a lot easier to find yourself. I obsessed over figuring out if I was actually bi and I got nowhere until I finally stopped giving a shit and just decided to feel it out, not force anything. I think that might be a good approach for you. If you feel like you’re trans one day, then that’s what you are for that day. If the next day you think you’re genderfluid, then that’s what you are. The next day you feel nonbinary? Then that’s what you are. Your gender doesn’t have to be set in stone, just be yourself.
I know none of this will relieve your stress and I’m so sorry about that. I wish I could do more. Feel free to hit up my inbox if you need someone to rant to or anything, really. <3