and suddenly, i’m barely thirteen again and remembering what’s it like to forget that there is more to life than some words of approval.
i’m almost fifteen now and it’s a different song and i think i’ve found a direction. i know how to smile again without wondering who’s watching anymore, and i know i have friends who love me.
at sixteen there’s a song i heard a few weeks ago in summer camp that’s on the radio now. it reminds me of people i never knew would be so important to me in just the timespan of three weeks.
seventeen is my last year of high school and one of my hardest. but the songs from our last assembly never seem to let me forget the good times i’ve had with them all.
i’ve been eighteen for quite some months now, but there’s still that one song. it’s a new one, but once i sat on the floor under my desk trying to stop myself from crying hysterically by listening to a title song from my favorite album.
today i heard the song from when i was thirteen.
and i’ve came to learn, there will always be that one song.
I use memos on my phone as either an idea I don’t want to forget or for info that I will need to have on hand in a new location in the next hour or two, and that largely means that any time I look at them it’s just a cryptic mess of numbers and addresses and data, and it’s great.
This weekend I’m in Chicago for HVFF and I have to admit I’m more excited than I normally would be, but Mavi is with me so I get to show her around. Do a little cuddling in the park. Take her to a nice dinner. You know, the things you should do with your daughter.
I always kind of got hate watching something, but let me tell you right now I am full on hate reading that fucking dissertation. I’m not even gonna do the whole thing because contrary to popular belief a do have a life. The main part is 113 pages, I am somewhere on page 92 and I think I need a drink to finish this.
ALSO according to the ‘thank you’ part of this thing my friend had like 4 other people beta reading that thing and I kinda have to wonder what they did? There are still quite a few pretty obvious mistakes in there and I don’t get how.
i was tagged by @blondhao to do a color moodboard of my bias but i, an indecisive mess, decided to do a moodboard of a few of my ults so here is minhyuk, ten, seolhyun, yuta, seokmin, momo, wonho, jongin and jaebum + purple.
in my primary school drama/music classroom there were photos of old actors and movie stills and there was one photo of this lady in like a torn cave man outfit and i thought she was so pretty i was so excited whenever i had music or drama because i could sit and stare at the photo