Hi, I don't know if you're accepting any more prompts rn or what but I'm feeling super super super low and I hate my exams, I hate studying and I used to love it and I feel like I'm stuck and there's no way out and idk, I don't see myself getting out of my family's grasp and going anywhere and I was going through my tags and your works make me so happy, so if you could, drarry/linny but which boosts morale? And maybe makes me want to study I'd give anything for that. Thanks for reading my rant♥♥
I am always taking prompts (I can’t always get to them for awhile but I do my best). I’m so sorry you’re struggling and I know sometimes when you’re in a tight space it can feel as if it will stay that way forever but I hope you’re feeling a little better now and I want you to know that one small thing can always change our lives in unexpected ways. Have hope and stay strong. And I hope this can cheer you up even in the smallest of ways.
Harry fiddles with the book in his lap, unable to focus on studying with the sounds of exasperation and stress coming out of Malfoy’s mouth as he studies. It has been on the tip of Harry’s tongue to ask if he is alright, or needs a break, for the last two hours but every time he thinks he’s made up to his mind and starts to make even the smallest noise Draco just looks up from his book and shoots Harry a death glare.
He knows Draco is nervous for the exams beginning tomorrow, knows he wants to do well. And yet he can’t for the life of him fathom how Draco, because it was definitely Draco now, has changed so much in the last twenty four hours. The softness, the openness, the biting humor and hints of kindness are gone. Draco has been snapping at him all week but in the last day he’d become so tense Harry can’t even look at him without incurring his wrath.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”
“I don’t care, I don’t have time for this. Just zip it I will hex you into next week.” Harry snorts in disbelief earning himself a look that would send anyone else running from the room.
Making up his mind, Harry slams his book shut and patters across the room to sit on the edge of Draco’s bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. “I’m not scared of you.”
“Wonderful. A lifetime of work thrown away all because of a few measly kisses.”
“Oh I don’t know if I would call them that, you weren’t that bad of a kisser.”
And that’s it, he’s done it, broken Draco’s trance as Draco looks up at him a look of annoyance on his face, but there’s something else there too even if Harry isn’t entirely sure what. “I am a fucking superb kisser, Potter, and don’t you forget it.”
Harry drops his hand, unable to hide his own shock as he stares at the other boy. “When would I get a chance to forget?”
Draco looks decidedly uncomfortable as he coughs, picking his book back up off the bed and refusing to look at Harry again. “After…just after exams. When we leave.”
“What are you talking about?”
Draco slams his book shut with much more force than necessary, the sound echoing loudly in the small room like the aftershocks of a curse. “I. Heard. You. Last week. Telling Weasley about the job offers. My god Potter half of England’s Quidditch teams want you to play for them and an open invitation to the Aurors….you’ve got your pick of the future you want. Which by the way I’m clearly not a part of since you didn’t mention any of them to me.”
Harry swallows down his guilt at hiding the offers, not wanting to admit that talking about the future was exactly what Harry didn’t want to do but for entirely different reasons. He doesn’t want to confess that the idea of leaving Hogwarts terrifies him, that he has no idea what he wants to do, that he doesn’t feel ready to be an adult. After a lifetime of feeling responsible for the world Harry wants nothing more than to fuck away from all responsibility, not forever, but for a little while longer.
“That’s what I thought,” Draco mumbles, misinterpreting Harry’s silence. His icy tone cuts through Harry’s thoughts like a knife.
“I didn’t tell you because I’m not taking them.”
“What do you mean you’re not taking them? Which one?”
Draco sounds as scandalized as Harry had expected. He shrugs, as if turning down multiple career opportunities is nothing. “None of them.”
“What the bloody fuck is wrong with you, Potter?”
Harry steels himself, summoning his courage and knowing this conversation will reveal far more than he was prepared, but knowing with a sort of certainty that he feels about nothing else that it is the right thing to do.
“Because…because I’m tired of it. All of it. I love flying, god I love flying, but I don’t want to be watched anymore. I couldn’t stand all those people watching and cheering and hoping for a victory with my name on their lips. And the Aurors can all go fuck themselves if they think I want to spend the rest of my life chasing down Dark Wizards.” He pasues, unable to look at Draco’s face but taking courage in the cold hand that reaches out to hold his own. “Fuck, Draco, I know you’re mad because you didn’t get any job offers and you should have because you’re brilliant and determined and you’ve worked hard to prove yourself and I’m sorry everyone else doesn’t see that yet, but one day they will…..but for now….I think just this once maybe the Wizarding World can just go fuck themselves.”
At this Draco laughs, it starts out small as if Draco doesn’t even mean to but when Harry looks up at him, Draco’s lips are curled into his mouth as he bites on them trying to contain his laughter. It makes Harry feel strong in a way he isn’t used too. He squeezes Draco’s hand and continues.
“I was gonna wait…until after exams but I was thinking about, well about fucking off. I don’t even know where to. Gods we can go anywhere..America, France, I don’t care you can pick just please come with me.”
Harry looks up, his mouth falling open in shock because he’d expected to have a lot more convincing to do. But Draco is just smiling at him, and it makes something in Harry break because he wants to hold on to that memory forever.
Draco rolls his eyes, but there is a fondness in them. “Did you really think I’d say no to trotting around the globe with my ridiculously fit boyfriend living the life of leisure and having sex whenever I please?”
“Oh, well when you put it that way,” Harry whispers, moving to his knees and crawling across the bed until he’s straddling Draco’s lap, knocking his book to the floor in the process. If Draco notices he doesn’t say anything.
“So this boyfriend of yours? Do you think….do you think you love him?” Harry whispers, his fingers brushing across Draco’s cheek.
“The word is so quiet Harry almost misses it. “Yes.”
This time its Harry who laughs, feeling a sort of delirious happiness bubbling up inside of him that makes him dizzy. “S’good…because he loves you too.”