i have no excuses for the pun

warm and soft like a fireplace….a heith….

Another commission from @diggerdagger - Riju x Link shippers rejoice! About time I worked a pun into these~ Too many drawings with Link and Riju without either of them saying anything incredibly stupid~

Sorry for the general lack of activity lately! Still dealing with computer problems as I migrate and get adjusted to (and learn that I seriously, seriously hate) Windows. Every little thing about this OS drives me insane and makes drawing way more of a chore than it should be. But that’s no excuse to slack on paid work so at least I have SOMETHING for ya’ll ;)

Did anyone say idiotic fluff prompts?

‘I heard a high pitched whine and ran in to see you crying over a picture of a kitten and a puppy hugging yes i know that is cute but are you okay’
alternatively: ‘I started whining with you’

‘Hey I noticed you were down so here’s a box of kittens don’t ask me where i got them but we gotta return them before sunrise no it wasn’t illegal shhh h’

'Yes I killed this man but he was a bad owner and now his animal is mine and perfectly happy so I don’t see the problem’

'Are you reenacting Bet In It from High School Musical as a way of making this decision?’

'You’ve been wearing gym clothes all day but haven’t moved at all what do you mean its a 'mindset’ no you need to actually move’

'Can you take this seriously what no i don’t care if there’s a dog this is a crime scene’

'It was a normal day until you rolled in blasting the 'maria hee maria ha’ song and I’m so done’

‘If you don’t stop singing ‘Poker Face’ I will make sure you will have no flippin face’

‘Person C playing ‘Pony’ every time Person A and B have a moment of sexual tension’

‘Is that an alligator?!’ ‘Hey, show some manners, his name is Lieutenant Fred!’

‘I made a blanket fort and you can’t come in unless you admit I’m the best and my moves are the funkiest’

‘I know how to settle this; DANCE OFF’

‘Will you stop stroking my hair and whispering ‘my precious’?!”

‘What’s your favorite book?’ ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ ‘Okay, another question, are you trying to make me shoot you?’ ‘Yes.’

‘Did you seriously learn the book word-by-word and do all possible research just to be able to sass your teacher when he thinks you don’t know anything?’

‘I stole your seat and in retaliation you sat on me’

‘You know, you’re not supposed to EAT THEM ALL AT ONCE, YOU COULD DIE’ ‘Your skin is like a pillow, are you an angel?’ ‘Great, now you’re high’

‘How many coffee’s did you have???’ ‘At least eleven’

‘Help me find my shirt’ ‘You know, as much as I want to…I don’t want to.’

‘Would you stop chatting with the fricking enemy

‘Are you eating a whole jar of Nutella in one sitting?!’ ‘I have problems leave me be’

‘Why am I the only sober one at this party and you’re completely wasted and clumsily flirting with me god at least you won’t remember my blushing’

‘You can’t just use ‘I have problems’’ as an excuse for everything!’

‘Did you just bake 20 fricking breads?’ ‘No…. I named them too, this is Breadly, Demi Loafato, Attila the Bun…’

anonymous asked:

Would you guys be wiling to do one that doesn't have Steve in it but is all about Steve? I'm thinking of Fury's initial meeting w/ Sharon asking her to protect Steve. Then, subsequent meetings where she reports relevant happenings. But since there are no relevant happenings (until TWS), Sharon's reports consist mainly of Steve's general comings and goings, his lame attempts to hit on her, and the embarrassing stuff he does when he's alone.

“Did you think I didn’t know?”  Fury raised an eyebrow.

“I think my recruiter didn’t look into it.  I expected you would know, sir.”  Sharon stood at parade rest, only allowing the slightest twich of her lips towards a smile.  

Fury hummed.  “It’s why you’re here.  And not why you’re here.”

“Sir?”  She liked Suduko, crosswords and thousand-piece puzzles.  Fury was more like one of the Fates speaking in riddles than anything else.  

“I chose you for this assignment because Former Director Carter wouldn’t trust anyone else with this detail.  I also chose you for this assignment because regardless of whose blood you’ve got, you’re the only one I trust with this assignment.”

Sharon let out a slow, steady breath, feeling the tension bleed out of her shoulders.  “Thank you, sir.”

***

Fury was mulling over a stack of paperwork, steam curling from his World’s Best Boss mug that sat at his left elbow. (She was pretty sure it was a gift from Natasha).  

“Your monthly report, sir.”

Fury looked up, and sat back.  “Go on.”

“Exercise commences at 0400 hours each day, and ends at 0600. Grocery shopping every other day, a—“

“—Single or multiple trips?”

“Supersoldiers only need single trips, sir.”

Fury smirked and sipped his coffee.

“Between 1400 and 1600 hours each Sunday he cleans and sings.  He orders take out once each week, only on Saturdays for his weekly movie marathon.  He’s reached the 80s, if I’m not mistaken.  There were a lot of lightsaber noises and don’t-you-forget-about-me’s coming from his apartment last week.  And the joke about his midday coffee run being ‘A mission from God’.”

“Anything unusual or concerning to report?”

“The number of times he’s watched Indiana Jones is concerning.”

“Oh?”

“He was reckless in the field before, sir.  I worry what new ideas he’s been picking up.”

Fury smiled, all teeth.  “This is exactly why I chose you for this assignment, agent.”

Help A Buddy Out

Words: 4066

So its a lot of words. but its a quick read cause its in sections. I just thought it was kind of a cute idea :D Not my best ever, but I still wanted to post it cause why not? It may make one person smile… maybe haha ;D


— You and Bucky are roommates and you ask for him to teach you to be better at sex so you can please another guy —

“Y/N!” You heard your roommate shout from across the apartment. “Have you seen my shirt?!”

“Why of course, I know exactly what you do with all your shirts. What type, what color, what brand are you looking for? Wait, let me just look into my Bucky Barnes archives…” You shouted back with way too much sass.

A shirtless Bucky poked his head around the door of your bedroom. “Hardy har har.” He returned before coming fully into the room. “You’re overly sassy for no apparent reason. What’s going on?” He strutted over to the bed and took the book from your hands as he sat down. “Chaucer?” he questioned. “You only subject yourself to Chaucer when you’re in a bad mood.”

“Yea, well I had a change of heart.” You retort as you try to snag your book back. He pulled it further from your reach. “Buck, give me my book back.”

“No, not until you tell me why you’re in full sass mode today.”

“Well, then I’ll never get it back.” You sighed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest and leaned back against the headboard.

“C’mon Y/N. I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.” He spoke as he smiled one of his killer ‘your panties just melted’ smiles. Except, you knew when he smiled like that to you, it was merely platonic. Which sucked.

“Ok fine” you huffed out. “The truth is…” you began as you sat up. “Steve is my best friend.”

Bucky let out a frustrated groan and threw your book back in your general direction. “As if. You know you like me better.” He stood in front of you and stared down; His eyes traveling up and down your body. “If you don’t tell me then I’ll just tickle you until you do.”

You made a face at that. “Don’t do that.”

Bucky started to walk towards the side of the bed where you sat. “You’ve left me with no choice, Doll.” He got closer and grabbed your arm as you tried to scramble away.

“OK, OK!! Don’t do it. I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you!” Bucky released you from his grip.

“There. Was that so hard? Now spill, Doll. Whats going on?”

You sat up once again and brushed your fingers through your hair. “Fine, but stand over there.” Bucky’s eyes travelled to where you pointed.

“You want me to stand in the corner?” His ‘you-cant-be-serious’ look took over his face. “You cant be serious.”

You sighed as you began to explain. “I need you to be as far away from me as possible when I tell you this. Its embarrassing.”

Bucky crossed his arms and began to retreat to the corner. “Fine. Makes total sense, Weirdo.”

You ignored his comment and pulled your knees up under your chin. “Ok. There is no easy way to say this so im just gonna do it.” You sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t know how to have sex. Not well anyway. I have this date with this guy on Friday and its going to be the third date. Everyone knows the third date rule! I don’t want to suck.” You finished with a deep breath, recovering your oxygen levels from your intense rambling.

“You’re still going out with that guy?” Bucky demanded as he began to near you again.

You pointed your finger back at him. “Stay! And yes I am.”

“Why the fuck–?” he started but caught himself before he revealed too much. “Y/N, look, sex is sex. Its, uh, its not that big of a deal. Im sure youll be great.” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s a huge deal, Buck! HUGE! Its sex!”

“You’ve had, uh, sex before right?”

“Twice.”

“Twice.” He repeated.

“Yes, twice. I’m going to suck. I know it.”

“Youre not going to suck. It’s not possible”

“How would you know, Buck? Its not like we’ve had sex.” Bucky couldn’t argue with that, they hadn’t, despite how much he wanted to. “Which is why I’m asking you to help me.” You said, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts. “I want you to make me better at sex.”

Buckys head shot up from the direction of his feet, eyes wide. “WHAT?!”

“Please Buck, you said it yourself: sex is sex. Whats the harm if you teach me the ins and outs of it. No pun intended.” You smirked to yourself.

“You’re my best friend!” he spoke in an attempt to find an excuse.

“Friends have sex all the time. You’d just be helping a friend out.”

Bucky thought of another excuse. “What makes you think I can teach you anything?”

You chuckled “I think the plethora of random girls that scream their heads off in pleasure and beg for more is enough for me to know how good you are.”

Bucky blushed. “You hear that?”

“They’re like banshees, Bucky.”

“Are not.” He huffed

“Are too” You returned. Bucky crossed and uncrossed his arms before shifting his weight to his left foot. “Bucky, please. We are always there for each other when the other needs something.”

Bucky let out a sharp laugh. “Yea, but usually its when you want me to pick up your prescriptions from the pharmacy or fix the plumbing.”

“Buck, I need you. I know this is slightly different, but whats the harm?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky pulled his phone from his back pocket to check the time. “I have to go meet Steve. Just let me think about it.” He pocketed his phone again and turned to leave the room.

“Don’t forget a shirt!” You called after him.

Bucky opened the door to the café and scanned the room for his friend. When he saw the over compensating build and light hair he started towards one of the window tables. “Steve.”

Steve looked up from his view of the city and smiled as he saw his oldest friend. “Bucky, its good to see you.”

Bucky took a seat opposite of Steve and ordered a coffee when the waitress came around. “Hows things?”

“Great.” Steve began. “Sharon is great. We got a cat.”

Bucky chuckled. “A cat? Since when are you a cat person?”

“Since Sharon is a cat person.” He smirked. “But, whats going on with you? Hows Y/N?”

“Funny that you bring her up.” Bucky said before he smiled and thanked the waitress for his coffee.

“Oh yea?” Steve smiled. “Finally tell her how you feel, did you?

“Yea right. Cause that would go over soooo well.”

“Oh c’mon man, you’ve liked her since she moved in.”

“Doesn’t matter, she doesn’t feel the same. She, uh, asked me this morning to help her become a pro at sex.”

Steve choked on his coffee and reached for a napkin to clean the drops from his chin. “What!?”

“Yea.” Bucky signed and sipped his drink

“What exactly does that entail?”

“She wants us to have sex.” Bucky replied nonchalantly. “She wants us to have sex until shes good at it, apparently.

“Wow. Why?”

“Shes got this date on Friday. Says it’s the third date so they HAVE to have sex for some stupid reason.” He huffed.

“Well,” Steve started “Think of the Bright side: Youll get to have sex with the girl you love.”

“Smooth attempt at making me feel better, pal, but there is no bright side. She wants me for the wrong reason. Its not like she loves me back.”

“All the more reason to tell her. Maybe she just hasn’t thought of you in that way yet and telling her may open her eyes.”

“I don’t know, man. Shes pretty determined. I think if she liked me she’d know.”

“Just think about it, Buck”

“Its all I think about. Which makes me think I cant go through with this.”

“Oh, you definitely cannot go through with this.”

Bucky reentered his apartment after a long and thoughtful conversation with Steve. He had a very valid point: there was no way Bucky could go through with this, but the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to disappoint Y/N.  She felt insecure and that was the last thing Bucky wanted. So he could do this just once, right?

“Bucky?” Y/N called, stepping out of her bedroom. “Are you alright? You seem a little dazed.” She continued once she saw his facial expression.

“Yea well what do you expect?” Bucky mumbled to himself as Y/N entered the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

“Did you say something?”

“What? No.” He hurriedly spit out. Y/N returned her attention to the coffee maker. “So, I was thinking…” she met his eyes as he continued. “We could try what you proposed. Just once. I’ll tell you what you want to know from that one time, but no more. Deal?”

Y/N squealed in appreciation. “Oh Bucky, you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you so much.”

She jumped into his arms and wrapped her own around his neck. “Yea. I mean what are friends for right?”

“Right!” she smiled. She was so beautiful that he almost kissed her right then and there, but he quickly stepped away.

“So, uh, how do you want to go about this?” Bucky questioned as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I say we just jump into it. I mean, this is practically for science. No need to beat around the bush.”

Bucky felt his heart crumble just a bit. Hearing her say those words was the last thing he wanted. If anything, he wanted this to mean something to her in the slightest. But clearly it didn’t. “Alright.” He spoke clearly frustrated. He reached for the hem of his shirt and aimed to pull it over his head, but was stopped by Y/Ns soft hand on top of his.

“Let me.” She lifted his shirt off for him and Bucky thought he had never been more turned on. Y/N pulled hers off and slipped out of her sleep shorts then turned and strutted off into her bedroom.

“Jesus.” Bucky mumbled as he followed after her.

When he stepped through the door, she was standing there waiting for him in just her underwear. He eased himself closer to her and she reached for the belt around his hips. ‘This is so bad’ he thought as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up to him. She looked into his eyes and down to his lips. Slowly, she reached up and pressed her lips to his in the softest of motions. Bucky fell completely into it and Y/N placed her hand on the back of his neck in an attempt to pull him closer, but Bucky pulled away. He couldn’t do this. It just wasn’t right.

“Bucky?” she whispered as she placed her hands on either sides of his face. “Whats the matter?”

Bucky gripped her hands in his own and removed them from his face. “I cant do this.” He spoke so quietly; it was practically to himself.

“What?” Her face twisted in concern.

“I cant do this.” Bucky said a little louder so she could hear him, but this time it was laced with a bit of frustration.

“Why?”

Bucky took a few steps away from her. “I just cant.” He grabbed for his shirt, but Y/N stepped up into his space and grabbed it from him before he could put it on. “Y/N, give me my shirt back.”

“No, Buck. Not until you tell me whats going on.”

“Fine, keep it.” He huffed as he headed for the door.

“Bucky!” Y/N yelled after him. “Bucky, wait!”

Y/N chased him out the door and into their tiny living room. She grabbed his arm to keep him from getting further away from her. “Y/N, Stop!” Bucky yelled as he tried to break free from her grasp. She was deceptively strong.

“Bucky, please just tell me whats going on.” He could hear the sadness in her voice. It almost broke his heart. “Please.” She whispered. Bucky turned to face her with a cold expression on his face. He figured it was better than showing her his true emotions in this moment. ‘Did I do something wrong?” He met her eyes in shock. That was the last possible problem. “Do you not want me?” Slowly, tears began to fall down her cheeks.

Bucky sighed. “That is not possible.” He whispered

“Which?” she questioned

“Neither. You didn’t do anything wrong and its definitely not because I don’t want you, OK?” He reached up and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

“Then what is it?”

“Nothing, Y/N”

“Youre lying.” She was starting to get angry.

“No, Im n-“ he started, but was interrupted.

“Yes, you are!” Y/N was a full on mix of pissed and distressed. “Tell me!” she yelled.

“Y/N” Bucky sighed

“TELL ME!” She screamed again.

“I LOVE YOU!” Bucky yelled in her face before he’d even realized what he was doing. He breathed heavily, eyes looking directly at her before he stepped back and looked to his feet. “I love you.” He spoke again, much quieter.

“Bucky..”

“No, just don’t.” Bucky rushed past her back to her room and put his shirt back on. When he got back to the living room, Y/N was still standing there in shock. “I have to go.” He grabbed his keys of the hook and slammed the door, knocking Y/N out of her shock.

Sharon opened the door to her and her boyfriends apartment to find Bucky standing in the doorway, his head hung low, soaked to the bone. It must’ve been pouring outside. “Bucky, come in.” When he didn’t make a move to enter the apartment, she grabbed him by his arm and slowly pulled him inside. “Steve!?” she yelled “Can you come here?”

Steve walked out from their bedroom. “Yea, babe- Bucky?”

“He just showed up. Im going to go get some towels and an extra shirt.” She said ask she walked Bucky over to the couch and helped him sit down before walking to the bathroom. Steve inched closer to his friend and sat down across from him.

“Buck?” he spoke, but got no response. “Bucky?” he tried again. “What happened?”

Bucky looked up from his hands, but refused to meet Steve’s eyes. “I told her.”

“Well, that’s good isn’t it?” Steve questioned.

“No, Steve, its not. We were about to have sex.”

“You were going to do it!?”

“Just once. She was doubting herself and you know how I get when she does that. I was only going to do it once and help her. I thought I could suppress my feelings for one time.”

“Bucky…”

“I kissed her once and I couldn’t do it. Before I knew it, I was yelling that I love her and now im here.”

Steve placed a hand on his friends shoulder as his girlfriend returned with the shirt and towels. She placed them next to Bucky to use as he needed.

“What did she say?” Steve asked.

“Nothing.” Bucky sighed. “She just stood there. So I left. Well, actually I started to leave the second after I told her.”

“You didn’t give her a chance to say anything?”

“I couldn’t, Steve. I just had to get out of there.”

“Oh, Buck.” Steve started “Just stay here tonight, ok?” he sighed. “But tomorrow you have to talk to her.”

Buckys eyes widened. “No, Steve. I cant.”

“You can. And you will. She is the only girl you’ve ever given a fuck about, never mind the fact that she and Sharon get along great. You’ve made yourself a nice little mess and you’re going to fix it so we can all still be friends. Im too used to our little foursome now to have it fall apart at the seams.”

“Arent you the one who told me to tell her how I felt?”

Steve stood from his chair. “Yea. I was thinking more of a sweet scenario where you buy her flowers and don’t bolt after you tell her.”

Bucky grumbled and wrapped a bright, pink towel around his shoulders. “Well you didn’t specify.”

“I figured it was implied, Buck” Steve began to turn towards is bedroom. “Couch is all yours for tonight. Enjoy, stretch out, think of ways to get your girl. But im gonna turn in. My lady is waiting.”

Bucky made a face. “Steve, I swear if you guys have sex 20 feet away from me…”

“Chill Buck, Sharon and I are hardcore cuddlers.”

“That’s almost worse.”

“Oh please, Buck if you had Y/N you’d cuddle nonstop.”

“Don’t remind me that I don’t have her.” Bucky returned as he stretched out onto the couch.

“Goodnight Bucky.” Steve sighed and retreated to his bedroom where is girlfriend waited for him. Lucky bastard Bucky thought.

Bucky jolted awake at the sound of 3 sharp knocks. He could have sworn he imagined it and was getting ready to settle back into sleep when he heard it again. He grabbed his phone from his pant pocket which had long been discarded onto the floor halfway through the night. It was 3:30 am. What the hell. Bucky groaned as he sat up and walked his shirtless, underwear clad body into Steve and Sharon’s room. Sharon was nestled up against Steves side and their cat sat on his chest, rising and falling in rhythm with Steves breathing. Bucky shuffled forward to Steves side and nudged his shoulder until he woke up.

Steves eyes slowly opened and looked into those of his best friend. “Bucky, what the hell?”

“Little early for cursing don’t you think, Cap?”

Steve sighed and laid his head back on his pillow. “What do you want, Buck?” He whispered in an effort not to stir his girlfriend.

“Theres a knock on your door” Bucky spoke nonchalantly as he pointed in its general direction.

“What?”

“Theres a knock-“ Bucky started but what interrupted by the knock itself. “See?”

Steve sat up slightly, causing the cat to jump of his chest and Sharon to slowly shift in her sleep. “And you woke me because…?”

“I don’t know. Its 3:30 am. Its dark. Im vulnerable. It could be a psycho killer and im not in the mood.”

Steve pushed the sheets of his legs and sat up. “Are you kidding me, Buck? Youre the fucking winter soldier.”

Steve began to walk towards the door as the knocking continued with Bucky hot on his heels. “Yea, well you’re Captain America. We are equally as capable of opening the door, but this is your apartment so I figured id let you. Just in case it is a psycho killer, youd be able to say you defended your own domicile.”

“Gee thanks.” Steve huffed as he reached for the doorknob. The door opened to reveal a slightly disheveled Y/N in none other than her pajamas. Bucky and Steve stared at her for a moment before Steve turned to Bucky. “Well, it’s for you. Totally get why you were scared though. She looks like a murderous demon.” Steve sighed sarcastically. “Im going back to bed. Lovely to see you though Y/N. Sharon misses you like crazy. I mean it’s been like what, 3 weeks since we’ve seen you. Crazy how time flies, we should really-“ Steve continued before being interrupted by Bucky.

“Steve go to bed.” Bucky spoke without taking his eyes off Y/N.

“Oh geez, fine. Goodnight Y/N”

“Goodnight Steve. “Y/N returned with a feeble smile.

Once Steve was definitely in his room, Bucky turned back to face Y/N. “What are you doing here?”

“Bucky, we need to talk.”

“Look, Y/N if this is about earlier then theres no need. I-“

“I love you, Bucky.” Y/N interrupted.

It was Buckys turn to stand there in shock.

“Bucky?”

Bucky snapped back to his senses and was less than pleased. “Is this some kind of sick joke to you? That’s really low Y/N. I spill my guts and you have the audacity to make fun of me for it.” Bucky turned back into the apartment but Y/n followed him in, shutting the door behind her.

“Bucky, im not lying.”

“You are too. You are supposed to go out on a date this weekend. You don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t date that idiot.”

“Bucky you said you love me and you had sex 3 days ago. Not with me, I might add.” Y/N replied laced with a little frustration.

“So? I had to get my frustrations out somehow. I’m not the one who suggested we have casual buddy sex.”

“Bucky, I was just really confused ok? I really thought that if we had sex once that I’d get over you. I don’t even have a date this weekend. I broke up with Mike after he slapped our waitress’ ass as she walked by on our last date.”

“Prick” Bucky mumbled. “So you tricked me into sex?”

“Tricked is such a harsh word.”

“But an accurate one” Bucky finished.

“We didn’t even have sex Bucky. I didn’t even think id be able to go through with it. I just wanted to propose the idea to see how youd react. To see if you wanted me too. I almost died when you pulled away from me.”

Bucky looked up into her eyes. “Yea, well you got what you wanted didn’t you?”

Y/N detected a hint of anger in his words. “Are you actually mad at me? Bucky, we love each other. Or at least we did a couple hours ago.”Bucky refused to speak. It lasted so long that Y/N turned to leave. “Fine, Bucky. Ill just go” Y/N was stopped by a firm grip on her wrist. She looked up and Bucky pulled her to him, kissing her like his life depended on it. Y/N kissed back with as much ferocity as she could. It was passionate and sexy and melting. Y/N had wanted this for so long and it was amazing. They pulled apart only to breathe and Bucky brushed his fingers through her hair.

“We love each other?” He spoke as he rested his forehead on hers.

“Yea, we do”

“I cant believe it.” Bucky chuckled. “I’ve been in love with you since you moved in.”

“Two years, Four months, and eighteen days.” Y/N whispered.

“What?” Buckys head snapped up in shock.

“That’s how long we’ve lived together.”

“Wow.” Bucky stepped back from her embrace and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

“I know because that’s how long ive loved you too.”

“WHAT?!”

“What?”

“You’ve loved me that long too? You had a boyfriend when you moved in.”

“I know, which is weird now that I think about it because he let me move in with another man. He said he wasn’t worried, but he should have been.”

“I’m the reason you dumped that guy a month after you moved in?” Bucky questioned. Y/N only nodded in response. “I cant believe it.” Bucky sighed. “I hated that guy!”

Y/N giggled and moved to cup his face with both hands. “That’s what he told me.”

“Oh, yea right. How would he know?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see it either, but he insisted that you liked me and wanted to kill him with your metal arm.”

Bucky chuckled and crossed is arms over his chest. “Well, the guy wasn’t as big of an idiot as I thought.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Y/N laughed.

Bucky grabbed Y/Ns hand and walked her over to the couch. He laid down and pulled her on top of him.

“Bucky what are you doing?”

“I’m getting ready to sleep with the girl I love.” He replied as he readjusted his pillow.

“Um, shouldn’t we go home? You know, since you aren’t mad at me anymore?”

“Oh please, doll. I was never mad at you. More just mad at myself. Also, Sharon and Steve miss you didn’t you hear? And all I want to do is take you home and stay in bed with you for days, but I figure I owe them a favor for letting me stay and whine. So, tomorrow we can all go out and they’ll stop complaining about never seeing you, THEN we will stay in bed for days.”

“Ah, great plan, Barnes.”

“Yea, I thought so.” He smiled his cheeky grin. “But for now we will sleep together and actually sleep.”

BTS REACTION TO YOU BEING AN ANIME FAN

JIN:

Seeing as he’s anime nerd himself he’d be totally be fine with it. you two would probably have long discussions about the plot and what you think is most likely to happen. Dates would most likely include binge watching anime series and LOtS OF FOoOoD!(and puns)

Originally posted by bwiseoks

SUGA:

suga wouldn’t really care whether you liked anime or not but I feel he a lowkey fan so he definitely wouldn’t be like ‘ oH nO plES geT mE ouT oF hERe’. He totally wouldn’t pass up the chance to use your pAsSiOn for aNimE as excuse for a cosy date.

Originally posted by minsecretsoul

JHOPE:

jhope would probably imitate anime characters on daily basis for you. i totally see him wanting to playing anime charades with you. watching anime with jhope would always be lively even if the anime you were watching was dull. Jhope is the type to scream and not be able to sit still when an episode gets intense but hey at least you have someone who’ll cry w/ you when it hits you in the feels. He’d probably be good predicting what happens, to the point where you get slightly frustrated.

“ Stop sPoiLiNG it fOR mE”         

“it’s not SpOiLinG if i haven’t WatChEd it”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

NAMJOON:

Namjoon, like the others wouldn’t mind. He would totally watch anime with you. Namjoon would probably gravitate towards more supernatural/thriller animes. Puzzling storylines and complicated characters would be right up his street!

Originally posted by rapfluff

JIMIN:

Like all the members. HE. WOULDN’T.MIND. He would just simply enjoy watching you watch anime

Originally posted by okayoongz

TAEHYUNG:

ANIME NERD ALERT¡  He would totally love the fact that both of you share the same passion for anime. Seeing as he has said he likes to end his day with an episode or two, therefore this bunny would be v happy (probs. would be more episodes but their schedule is so tightT.T).

Originally posted by jeonthegreat


JUNGKOOK: 

Anime marathons E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y and not to mention a whole load of character impersonations (Probs. has sailor moon cosplay outfits overfilling his closet)… This kiddo loves anime and would be over the moon to know you do too. 

Originally posted by spicydim


DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE MY OPINIONS. IN NO WAY AM I SAYING ANY OF THEM WILL REACT LIKE THIS. I DONT KNOW THEM PERSONALLY(T.T time for me to swim to korea)

Admin noodlecat

anonymous asked:

Kuroo + his gf who gets a lil drunk so he decides it's time to leave but his gf says she can't go with him bc she has a bf (she's talking about him to him without even realizing bc drunk) he plays along and starts asking her about her bf and she gushes about him and says silly things he does. Eventually he asks if she loves him and she says yes and how she wants to marry him, have kids and grow old together. He gets emotional because holy fuck I love this dork so much

Okay, so this is going to be like a continuation of this scenario I wrote a while ago: X

[College - Almost adult life ! AU]

“Oh yes, the gods are favoring me now” Kuroo thought as he looked at his drunken partner.

Currently, he was trying to convince her to go home, but without avail. She looked up at him and said “Ya‘now dude, I know what you’re trying to do” she snorted “and let me tell ya, I have a boyfriend so go away before I call him”

She didn’t recognize him, perfect timing to get a mini revenge on the last time he got drunk.

“Ohh, excuse me then, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend” he said seriously “is he going to come if you call him?”

“Of course he is” she said “he’s like, ya’now, super caring and all those thingsss” she slurred a little “like, almost a father, always worrying and trying to help me”

His heart swelled with pride, knowing that his girlfriend saw him like that, someone whom she could rely on. “That’s very nice, I hope you have a long, love-filled relationship” he said

She smiled “I hope so!!” she laughed “even though he’s a biiiig nerd, always making those horrible science puns” and then she said “but he makes me happy, so I’m willing to hear them everyday”

His puns were amazing, why did she consider them horrible? She had no sense of humor, of course she didn’t. “Do you love him?” he asked cautiously.

She fell silent for a few moments, and those moments were the worst torture for Kuroo. Did she doubt her love for him?

“Of course I love him!!” she said excitedly “I love him lots and lotsssss, like I really can’t imagine a life without him?”

Oh god, someone please save Kuroo’s heart “I like to think of us in the future, happily married, with little children running around our house” she said sweetly “and I want to hold his hand every day, even as the years start passing”

She sounded surprisingly sober right now, but he couldn’t think about that at all. His heart was about to burst from his chest, happiness taking over his body. He didn’t realize a few tears slipped from his eyes, until he felt her hands on his face, and her fingers wiping them away.

“I may be drunk Kuroo, but I’m not stupid enough not to recognize you after a while” she said smiling at him.

“Oh” was all he could muster at that moment “did…did you lie about the things you said?” he asked slowly.

“Do I look like someone who’s going to lie about those things?” she asked.

“Of course not” he said looking in her eyes “God, I love you so much (Name)”

Never in his life had he felt so sure about something. When the right moment arrived, he definitely was going to ask her to marry him. He hoped she liked the ring he saw on a jewelry a few weeks ago.

3

Alec Lightwood. A lot od adjectives could be added in front of his name, but the one you liked to use the most is annoying. It wasn’t long ago that you were dragged into the whole supernatural world by your neighbour Clary and her best friend Simon. And right off the bat, Alec started a disagreement about what would be the best course of action for the mission they were on. It continued and often escalated every time you met, but there was undeniable sexual frustration bubbling underneath as well. Neither of you would admit to your feelings and both believed the other had no feelings at all.

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Superhero AUs #9

- ‘I’m in jail for being drunk and disorderly, you just got dragged in by the local superhero and you might be a villain but damn, you’re hot’ AU 
- ‘I know you’re pissed off your face but I still can’t believe you’re brave enough to talk to me’ AU 

 - ‘I’m an art student that constantly uses it as an excuse to sketch my villains’ faces out and try to work who they are after each battle; you just nicked my sketchbook’ AU
- ‘Have you been sketching me?’ AU

- ‘I bartend at a sketchy bar that’s usually full of mooks, henchmen and low level villains. You are not a low level villain’ AU
- ‘I’ll have a scotch on the rocks, and your phone number if you’re willing. Plus your attention on the door so I can drop I few surveillance cameras. I’ll pay triple’ AU 

- 'Oh god, I just had a one night stand with a supervillain’ AU
- ‘Dear lord, I just fucked a superhero’ AU 

- 'You can’t excuse every crime you commit in the whole of October as 'being in the Halloween spirit’’ AU
- 'I find it really sweet that you think this is confined to October’ AU 

- ’Get me a cappuccino. Wait, do evil lairs have coffee machines? If not I’ll have a scotch, or a whisky. You must have one of those two, right?’ AU
- 'I have no idea who in god’s name you think you’re talking to, but you’re the kidnapee and I’m the supervillain here, so you had better shut the hell up before I…uh…dehydronate you!’ AU 

- 'I haven’t slept a full night in 35 days, please dear god stop committing crimes’ AU
- 'WHO SAID NEVER NEEDING SLEEP WAS A DUMB SUPERPOWER, HUH?’ AU

- ‘I’m just a small town thief, livin’ in a lonely world. I took the midnight train going anywhere and nearly got blown up by a supervillain, what the fuck mate’ AU
- ‘I’m trying to have a battle to the death with my archnemesis, could you please stop stealing all of my gear? No, it’s not karma, it’s you, I can see you doing it. No nearly killing you isn’t an excuse either; I nearly kill a lot of people’ AU

- ‘I’m part of the police squad designated as super-incident first responders, and you’re the corresponding fire brigade chief. How are you doing, hot stuff?’ AU
- ‘You are not allowed to step in front of a downed superhero, duel a supervillain you have no hope of beating, win, arrest them, and then come back to me with a damn pun!’ AU

- ‘I get that you were one of the first superheroes, and you did a great job in WWII and throughout the Cold War, but could you please stop haunting me and telling me I’m doing my job wrong’ AU
- ‘Now you listen here son, I didn’t come back as a ghost through sheer bloody stubbornness just for some poncy new age hero to tell me to eff off, so stop crying over your bloody nachos and let’s go find my immortal arch nemesis, because I just know they deserve a good ass-whooping’ AU

Call Me A Tree, Because I Am Pining For You

Klance Fanfiction

3862 Words

Completed Oneshot 

It’s really just fluff and pining

Summary: Lance likes Keith’s abs and Keith likes Lance’s legs and they are pining fools also Good Uncle Coran makes an appearance. (also every time there is a — it switches who the main focus is)

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Episode 92, part 2: I’m sure this will be fine!

part 1 is here

Yami Malik has explicitly confirmed that he is about to straight-up murder Mai, and Jounouchi is like “excuse me, good sir, but have you considered perhaps calling an end to the duel?”

“My orders are to treat all, quote, magical bullshit as though everyone involved is just play-acting to annoy Mr Kaiba.”

Yami Malik calls the attack…

But luckily, RA GOD OF THE HEAVENS AND ULTIMATE AVATAR OF DESTRUCTION has, like, an embarrassingly long warm-up time. From the time the attack is called:

1. Jounouchi climbs up on what I assume is called the Battle Deck™ Pun Intended

2. Jounouchi tries to free Mai

3. Jounouchi realises Mai can’t remember him

4. Jounouchi is irrationally offended by his friend’s behaviour UNDER A CURSE HE KNOWS IS IN PLACE c’mon boy

5. Jounouchi admits he was wrong not to tell Mai that she was in his dream

6. Sparklefists still doesn’t know WHY THIS IS EMBARRASSING so what if the dream took place in school? That’s not how dreams work!

7. Jounouchi’s nonsensical sentimental apology-plea (apoloplea) breaks through the magical barrier in Mai’s mind and she remembers him

8. Yami Malik complains about this and his eyeliner slides away in disgruntlement

9. Mai heroically tries to convince Jounouchi to leave, Jounouchi heroically refuses

10. THE ATTACK LAUNCHES

Not lands! Launches! 

Giant fireball incoming…

TINY PHARAOH INCOMING

I love this moment. He’s so brave and surprisingly sturdy!

You’d think he’d be too short… Can you imagine if he threw himself in there and the fireball just flew over his head and hit them anyway? Good times.

I wonder why he waited until the last moment? I mean, I know it’s because the writers knew it’s the most suspenseful way to do it, and because having a touching apology-reunion is way more tearjerking when the two characters are alone facing danger, not awkwardly being watched by their human shield. But I wonder why in-universe Yami waits. Maybe he thinks Jounouchi will somehow manage to free her in time? Or that Kaiba will see sense and call the duel to a halt? Or maybe he’s worried about using Yugi’s body for something so dangerous…?

This does seem pretty dangerous…

Is that a deliberate reference/comparison to the scars on Malik’s back? Like a, your hatred came from the pain you bore on your back, so I’ll take the consequences of your hatred on my back?

He collapses as the attack finishes, and Jounouchi continues his flawless streak of irrational reactions to people’s magic-derived problems

pull himself together?? he got hit by a fucking fireball!! for you!!! let him have his nap!!!!

Apparently we’re still pretending this is a card game with rules, so even though the attack didn’t hit Mai, because the attack was called and would have reduced her life points to zero, Yami Malik is the winner and demands to be announced as such:

Isono, constantly surrounded by volatile egomaniacs, isn’t phased.

Then Yami Malik is just like “ha, he’s unconscious, I could totally murder him right now!”

“the CARD GAMES are much too important to simply skip over to achieve my stated goals”

I hate this show

He’s actually here to fulfill his threats against Mai

YOU SAID IT WOULDN’T BE PAINLESS, TRY TO KEEP TRACK

She wakes up in a giant hourglass hovering over a beach where she can see the Nerd Herd playing together

Yami Malik says he’s only here to get his Ra card back: it’s stuck between the two halves of the hourglass, so when he removes it…

And she’ll go back to forgetting things and eventually die? I think? He’s not very clear. I again question how this bunch of teenagers are so important to this ostensibly adult woman that they’re the illusion of happiness her mind provides; she actually hasn’t spent that much time with them? Why doesn’t she have other people in her life? Why aren’t her parents in her illusion? 

Back in the world of the full conscious, Jounouchi is LYING AGAIN

You don’t even TRY, just admit it, you’re too scared to punch him!

Yami Malik fucks off and Yami comes to, brushing off everyone’s concern and immediately asking:

Don’t fancy trying to explain to him that everyone just let Yami Malik walk over to her, talk to her, wave the Rod Of Fucking Everyone Up in her face and wander off again. No one even TRIES to stop him once Yami passes out. 

Meanwhile, in the blimp’s control centre:

So Kaiba, excited, decides to move things along…

Specifically addressing Yami, presumably because he’s self-aware enough to know that Yami’s the only one fond enough of him not to punch him for calling an unconscious woman a loser, but not self-aware enough to realise that calling an unconscious woman a loser is a real fuckin dick move #SetoKaibathings

Oblivious to the Obvious [Poe Dameron x Reader]

Summary: Poe has had a crush on the reader for ages, and asks Finn for his advice, which leads him to make several very sudden decisions.

Word Count: 6000+

Warnings: Moderate to Severe Accidental Injury

It wasn’t like Poe was looking for excuses to get to maintenance. (Well, once, he had sped up the disrepair of his com link just a little bit.) Otherwise, all eight visits to the maintenance wing over the past month were for completely legitimate reasons. It was as if his X-wing somehow knew that there was a wonderful girl at the reception desk and kept falling apart just so he could see her. This time, it was the navigation system that had decided to give out. System in hand, he walked to the to the desk where Y/N spun around in her chair until she saw him.

“Oh! Hi, Poe!” she greeted with her bright, heart-stopping smile. She was looking awfully cute with safety goggles rested on the top of her head, pulling her hair back. She had a smudge of grease on her cheek that she probably didn’t even realize was there, and her eyes were lit up as they usually were with a playful spark.

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no but Un Monstre a Paris/A Monster in Paris is literally such a good and important movie and you can get it on Netflix

  • it’s a French CGI film that is, in my opinion, a lot better than anything Disney’s produced lately as far as animation is concerned (this movie is from 2011 and the animation is better than what I’ve seen in Frozen and Tangled) and the movements are so fluid and just WOW this is a beautiful piece of animation
  • it’s essentially Phantom of the Opera meets Beauty and the Beast so it’s a musical and it’s awesome and the voices are just wow
  • the protagonist is a mutated flea with a heart of gold and the voice of an angel and his name is Francœur and they animate his hands to play the correct guitar chords in time with the music how many animated films do that
  • it takes place in early 20th-century France
  • there’s a monkey named Charles who is an assistant botanist like do I need to say any more (i’m totally going to anyway)
  • the antagonist is literally named Mayor Maynott and there’s tons of puns and cute characters last but not least
  • Lucille is the female lead and a cabaret singer and her voice actress is the same in both the French and English versions (also for you Frozen fans her Spanish VA is the same as Anna’s) and the singing is just. magical.
  • it’s on Netflix you have literally no excuse

everyone needs to watch this

did I mention it’s on Netflix

2P! America BF Headcanons

2P!America/Allen D. Jones Boyfriend Headcanons:

  • will protect you at absolutely all costs
  • he is vvv protective; if someone looks at you the wrong way they weren’t even a thought after
  • he plays baseball a lot and would love it if you went to his games
  • ^ would run up and kiss you after winning a game
  • he’s a star
  • loves to cuddle and kiss and do romantic things but will also probably suggest midnight train-hopping for ‘fun’
  • is from Brooklyn/Boston and always speaks w/ that hella hot accent 
  • he always wants to carry you/give you piggy back rides
  • i hc him pansexual panromantic
  • he’s pretty insecure and will just need you to hold him and be there for him sometimes
  • he’s a b a d a s s and is known for his cool bad boy rep
  • he would never do anything illegal with you tho
  • absolutely hates seeing you hurt
  • will prob do anything you ask of him
  • “al i’m braiding flowers into your hair” “you got it baby”
  • “al we’re gonna get onesies and go to the mall” “i’ll get my keys”
  • “al i accidentally set a kindergarten on fire and need somewhere to hide” “basement’s all yours doll”
  • he has a hot ass motorcycle he’ll take you on anytime and anywhere
  • like
  • holy fu ck
  • damn boi
  • i’m sorry i have a 12039% motorcycle kink excuse m e
  • he loves to bathe with you
  • like not even sexually
  • tho it can be
  • wink wonk ;)
  • he will kick anyone’s ass for you
  • and would love it if you could kick his 
  • loves to adventure with you
  • would totally take you on roadtrips with him and Matt
  • looks like he could kill somebody and could but it actually a cinnamon roll
  • don’t even get me started on the way he looks at you without you noticing
  • his s/o will be treated like royalty
  • he loVES puns and jokes
  • so many inside jokes together
  • like b o i
  • loves Marvel/DC too and will die if you don’t
  • at least sit through one movie
  • p l s 
  • total nerd
  • has 583520 comic books
  • goes to cons and cosplays a lot (wants couples cosplays so bad)
  • is all sciencey and stuff
  • don’t get him started on space
  • he can rap like H E L L
  • and breakdance
  • it’s super hot
  • will take you around NEw York
  • shows you all the cool spots no one knows about
  • late night motorcycle rides
  • constant love and affection
  • this is not the end of my list
  • i have eternal allen hcs
  • jUSt
  • aLLen JoNEs eVeryBOdy