i have no clue what goes on inside my head

giving myself a nose bleed from crying so much. 
you know… i complain pretty regularly, and people always tell me to shut up or stop being a sooky bitch, but they have no fucking clue what goes on inside of my head on a daily basis and they have no fucking clue that “complaining” is my only way to cope because i have absolutely no one i can talk to who can actually help me at all. i am constantly losing my fucking mind and having to help myself out of it. i have the most loving supporting parents, but they are so fucking inept to my issues, they don’t understand, they can’t understand and everything they say to me is exactly what any of you would. 

over the past 4 months i’ve been just heading into a downward spiral and there is literally no way of me telling anyone because the only times i can properly speak about my issues is when i’m in tears. and its very rare that i get pushed to the point of crying because 90% of the time i’m crying on the inside and struggling to show anything on the outside.

i have no fucking clue what to do right now.
Where to go.
who the speak to.