i have no boundaries right now

anonymous asked:

Rewatching earlier seasons it strikes me how much more "Carrie-ish" Carrie used to be. Her lines and actions were very individual and unique and not reusable for a different character and now seem rather generic/ sort of pale. I really miss rogue and daring and crazy and wild Carrie. It was way more fun when she was not the responsible one. Be it manic or drone queen - I love her stretching the boundaries and driving the action and getting kind of rewarded by "being right".

I also miss rogue and daring and wild Carrie. I’ve said this again and again but making her mother has turned out to be a poor storytelling decision. Because we want what Carrie being a mother brings to her character but not what it brings to the plot. In season four we could have the former without the latter–we could maybe almost do that in season five–but in season six they finally had to really reckon with what it meant for a small child to be integrated into this story.

And unfortunately what they came up with is “Quinn becomes paranoid and holds Franny and her nanny hostage and then Franny is taken by child services.” NO. No no no no no. It’s just bad. 

Having a child has in many ways paralyzed Carrie. She can’t make decisions with the same sort of reckless abandon that she could. In ways I love that–she’s grown, clearly–but it also handicaps the storytelling. It’s not as spontaneous. And when it is, when she does make those kinds of decisions, we find ourselves questioning her capacity as a mother. 

So I maintain now and until they prove me wrong (hey! I was proven wrong after season three) that it was a shortsighted decision that’s having far-reaching, destructive consequences for the character. 

He doesnt know why he’s so worked up, honestly.

They’ve been dating for a month, now. Surely that’s more than enough waiting for something so small. And Yuri was always comfortable with being physically close to him, even before they got together.

So why are his palms so sweaty?

“Beka? Are you alright?”

Shit. He spaced out too long and now Yuri’s noticed. “I’m fine, Yura. Are you done?”

“Yeah!” he lifted the leopard print shopping bag to show him, grinning happily. “You still didn’t have to pay for it, though.”

“It’s your birthday, Yura. Whatever wish you have, I’ll grant it.”

Yuri’s face flushed so quickly Otabek was scared he’d combust. “Why- you- god, you’re so fucking sappy and gross. I can’t handle it sometimes.”

“You love me,” Otabek chuckles, prodding Yuri’s forehead lightly.

Yuri scoffs, but his blush doesn’t move. “Whatever. I’m starving.”

“Ah, right. I know a place, it isn’t too far from here.”

“And this time, I’m paying, alright?”

He chuckles. “You wish.”

And this, he realizes, is the perfect time for him to do it. Dinner is their last stop for their date, so this might be his only chance at doing this…

Quickly, before he loses his nerve, he casually slings his arm over Yuri’s shoulders and starts leading them away from the store.

He feels Yuri’s shoulders tense, and suffers through a brief second of panic - oh god, I’ve probably overstepped his boundaries. He probably feels so uncomfortable right now, how do I take this back - before he feels them relax, and Yuri brings his hand to the one Otabek has on his shoulders and entwines them together, as if they’ve done this many times before.

This time it’s Otabek’s cheeks that are burning, and Yuri doesn’t let it go unnoticed. He laughs, poking Otabek’s cheek. “You’re so goddamn cute sometimes.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re talking about yourself, Yura.” Otabek replies, and he leads them through the busy streets with his arm wrapped tightly around Yuri’s shoulders.

Translation “Er jeg sen?” (Am I late?) - 10.04 - 13:28


(None of dem by Robyn plays)

Sana’s phone goes off. The text from the app iBønn (iPrayer) reads: It’s time for Duhr.

Text from mom:
Join the theme night at the mosque on Friday, about women’s role in Islam.

Text from Sana: Is Jamilla coming?

Text from mom: Oh, Sana. Don’t think so.

Text from Sana: I’ll be there ❤️

Sana walking towards Even and Isak. Even’s laughing.

Isak: We have to celebrate.

Even: Yeah, I bought sparkling.

Isak: Sparkling?

Even: Isn’t that what one celebrates with?

Isak: I want beer.

Even (to Sana): So now you’re coming.

Sana: Am I late?

Isak: We’re done.

Sana: Noo, sorry I was …, the tram went in the wrong direction and-

Mahdi: Yeah, I’ve heard that one before..

Jonas: What?

Mahdi: The tram went in the wrong direction.

Jonas: You?? Huuuh.

Isak: Isn’t that what you do when-

Mahdi: Yeah, it’s what I do when I don’t wanna come to stuff.

Isak: But uh, you can join Even and me, and help us unpack?

Sana: That sounds like super fun, but I’m super busy. Are the girls upstairs?

Isak: Please.

Magnus: Sana, can you tell Vilde that I miss her? Already?

Mahdi: What’s up?

Magnus: No, you say to a girl that you miss them and they go like ‘Aww!’

Jonas: Nah, that’s not what they do.

Isak: Aww!

Even: Is it just like that with girls?

Isak: But you’re cute.

Magnus: Cuter than you two.

Even and Isak: Ooh! (inaudible)

The girls eating pizza.

Vilde: No, it’s something about that ocean blue colour that’s-

Chris: Ocean blue?

Vilde: Ocean.. 

Chris: Ocean blue or royal blue?

Noora: No, royal blue is like your sweater.

Vilde: No, it’s like Marbella Beach.

Noora: Marbella Beach! Have you been there a lot?

Sana: Hey.

The girls: Hey!

Sana: What’s up?

Eva: Noora’s gotten her room back!

Vilde: But what I was saying..

Eva: You want pizza?

Vilde: yesterday we tried out a new position..

Sana shakes her head.

Vilde: that we found online.

Eva: We’ve got beef, too.

Vilde: eh, which was that I sit on top of him, just like cow girl, but I reversed it, so it’s a reversed cow girl, so he sits…it’s a bit uncomfortable in the beginning, because I felt like it was him looking straight up…’cause his head is like..on…and if we did it right, eh, it was so insanely hot. It hit just…it hit, it hit the G-spot.

Chris: No. Isn’t the G-spot on the top side?

Vilde: No, I’ve heard the G-spot is in the ass.

Eva: isn’t that just boys?

Chris: Huh??

Vilde: It’s many who claim that you have several g-spots. But the thing is, I’ve never felt so hot with anyone before, I’ve never come so much as I do now when I’m with Magnus. It’s just like… I’m coming and coming and coming.

Sana: Do you have like NO boundaries? For what is okay to share?

Vilde: mwibth mwhat?

Sana: With you and Magnus’s sex life?

Vilde: I get that it’s hard for you to listen to since you can’t have sex, but-

Sana: I can have sex, Vilde. I just choose not to.

Vilde: Yeah, I’m just saying that uh.. it’s completely fine if you get sexually frustrated.

Sana: I’m not sexually frustrated. It’s not like I walk around thinking about boys and sex and feeling that I’m missing out on something.

*awkward silence*

Sana: I just mean that..sex should be something beautiful between you and Magnus. And not the whole world.

Noora:….anyone want some tea?

The girls: yeah! that would be..

Eva: Okay, I need to say something, but I don’t know if it’s true, but I heard that William’s gotten a new girl in London. 

Vilde: Huh?! Are you kidding?

Eva: Chris said so. Should I tell her?

Sana: Of course you have to tell her!

Eva: But shouldn’t William be the one to tell her?

Sana: Uh, yeah. But he obviously hasn’t.

Eva: But I don’t know for sure if it’s true. And sometimes I don’t get the deal with William and Noora, are they like…together? Or not?

Noora comes back with tea cups.

Noora: What’s up? What are you talking about?

Vilde: Uh, about anal sex. Magnus and I were thinking we’re maybe gonna try it. Have you tried?

Noora: No.

Vilde: You and William, you don’t..

Noora: Vilde. No.

Eva: Apropos William. How’s he doing?

Noora:..good. 

Chris (off screen): Yeah. We’ve never really gotten the deal between you..if you’re together or..not…or..not..or?

Noora: It’s always gonna be me and William..




AND THAT’S OUR #SEASONSANA KICK OFF!!! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR SOCIAL LIVES, BABES!

🍓🌙🌹Strawberry/Rose Moon Ritual🍓🌙🌹

For the strawberry/rose moon this year, I will be performing a ritual to honor beauty and self love*, as that is what I associate strawberries and roses with (along with the more obvious romantic love, but this particular ritual focuses on self appreciation, glamour, and honoring the rose and strawberry. I worship plants, so this is what works for my practice). 

The basics of this ritual is to honor the plants (and their spirits if that’s your thing, like mine) under the beauty and wonder of the moon. In exchange for your thanks and offerings, they may bless your desired items with their energies. 

Before beginning, since the moon, the strawberry, and the rose all have multiple correspondences, it is best to decide ahead of time which correspondences you are seeking during this ritual. For this moon ritual, I will be working with the following correspondences this year. 

The major materials and correspondences I will be using 

🌙The moon:

Balance: To place myself in a more balanced place, ready to accept the new energies coming my way through this ritual. 

Sensitivity: To remain sensitive. To energies, to vibes, to myself and my needs.

Peace: To still the battles within myself, to accept different terms, to accept how things are.

🌹The rose: 

Love: because of the roses properties for love, this can be used on the self as well

Protection: roses can also be used for protection. In this spell, it shall be to ward myself against my thoughts that would attempt to undo my progress. 

🍓The strawberry:

Love: because I dig those vibes 

Happiness: so that when I use the objects I charm, they make me happy

✨Extras

Any materials you want to charge with the properties mentioned above. Tools, jewelry, cosmetics, articles of clothing, anything you would use or hold to make yourself feel better when you’re feeling low. Also, SNACKS

My extra: I will be charging some rose water with the moon. Whenever I use it (every morning) I will have these properties placed upon me. I also will have bread, kombucha (I can’t drink alcohol so a floral kombucha has been my substitute for ritual) and some actual strawberries to enjoy during the ritual. 

The Ritual

pregame notes: The first part of the ritual is about honoring the energies you plan on petitioning first. The blessing and charging of your items is a bonus that occurs later. I feel this method to be more effective for me because the qualities I am honoring kind of pre-charge the area before I cast it upon my items. Basically, I feel surrounded by those energies and am therefor, more effective as a witch. 

- Set the stage

I take some time to really get the space just right. I cleanse my space, and pre-set my intention as I do so. I place everything I need in my area before I begin. 

Tip: take your time getting your items. Throughout the day, just make a “ritual pile” of stuff you’ll set out later. This gives you time to come up with ideas on what you want to work with. 

Do you actually have roses and strawberries? Awesome! Set them out! If you don’t, that is totally fine! Consider drawing them on paper or an object you would like to represent them. You could even print off a picture of them, or just use pics on your phone. 

 - Set your boundaries, if you do 

Do you circle cast? I personally cast a sphere if I am doing spirit work, however during rituals like this, I find my wards and shielding I already have in place work just fine, so I do nothing during this stage. 

- Greet the desired energies 

Welcome the moon, gaze upon it and notice small details. Actually look at the craters, look at the color. Does it have a ring? Is it cloudy? How is the light working with the sky right now? Tell it (aloud or in your head) that you welcome and honor it’s balance, sensitivity, and peace (notice I specifically called to the energies I want to work with) on this day. 

Welcome the strawberry (if you have some, hold some). Gaze (or think about) the details of the strawberry. Check out it’s color, the seeds, the texture. Tell it (aloud or in your head) that you welcome and honor it’s love and happiness on this day. 

Welcome the rose (if you have some, hold some). Check out it’s color, the petal texture, the smell. Think about it’s symbolism, and the traits you adore about it. Tell it (aloud or in your head) that you welcome and honor it’s love and protection on this day. 

- Meditate on the energies

When I say meditate, this can mean several things. Yes, you could put in a lovely guided meditation here to greet and work with the energies. In fact, since I worship plants and their spirits, I’ll probably meditate to communicate with their energies (i’ll make another post on that meditation at a later date). 

But not everyone likes or can do meditation to that extent. You can simply continue to think about the properties of each energy you appreciate. You can just spend some time fiddling with them (randomly hold strawberries while thinking about how good they taste if you need to). 

The point is to take a moment, a real moment, to feel their energies, their abilities. 

Atheist, or not into the spirit side of things? Try a mindful moment about how the strawberry came to grow, the rose, or how the moon is so glorious. Think about their symbolism and impact on beliefs and cultures from an objective point of view. Whatever you are comfortable with, connect with, or find fascinating. 

The purpose of this part is to be a little humbled and in awe of these things. That can be done through spiritual contact, just feeling the energies, or just appreciating them! 

- Petition for their aid in charging your items

Everyone may have a different way of doing this based on their practice. If you did the meditation, there’s a chance you already asked for help. 

Either way, now is the time to place your rose and strawberries (or items symbolizing them) near, on, or under the things you wish to charge. 

Hover your hands over the items and direct your personal energy towards them. I don’t typically do chants, I focus on visualizing my intent.

“See” the energy flowing from the rose and strawberry into your items. They work in, around, and through your things, ingraining their abilities within them. If it helps, you can also just think of the colors you would associate with those intents swirling around them. 

Once the energy from the strawberry and rose has worked it’s magic, I call down the energy of the moon. I petition it to send it’s energy of balance, sensitivity, and peace. I picture it’s powerful light beaming down onto my objects. This “seals” and charges things up, consider it an activating boost 

- Snack, give thanks, and close the ritual 

Near the end of the ritual is an excellent time for snacks if you brought any (if working with friends, spiritual or IRL, now is a great time to mingle a little and discuss your experience).

If it feels right to you, you can also consume the strawberry(ies) you charged. 

At this point, leave an offering for the rose, strawberry, and moon. Thank them for their help (for those that are uncomfortable speaking to them, you can just have a moment of gratitude) and leave them what you deem appropriate. For this specific ritual, I will be leaving some water and a bit of my kombucha behind. 

As you ready yourself to leave, do your normal closing routine (I’m being intentionally vague here, as some may feel the need to take down their circle, sphere, cleanse afterwards, or whatever it is you do for your practice). 


Bonus tips: 

- create a sigil to represent the rose or strawberry, and draw it on the supplies you charged!  

- charge a nice hand held mirror in the moon over night. Use it to charge crystals, cards, or herbs with the moon’s properties later! 

- leave some water and the roses in moonlight over night. The next day, make some rose water! It will have strawberry/rose moon properties! 

-  Make this your own experience, it’s important to do whatever you feel results in the most impact.


 ***********************************************************************************************

*Note: Self love in this post is referring more to self peace and appreciation. The peace needed to move forward to whatever your goal is. You do not have to be happy with your body, your attitude, or your current life situation to do this. For many, the traditional version of self love is difficult to achieve, and that is okay. You don’t have to feel warm and fuzzy towards yourself, this is more of a “be still, so I can grow” type of self love. A balm for your soul. A nod towards yourself, if you will.

I want to expand more on this, but something that a lot of people seem to lose is that a lot of what makes 17776 so incredible is that it is dealing with so many parts of what Postmodern American Football is as a sport, how difficult it is to understand and to pin down specifically because of how the game has changed over time, how the game has evolved and expanded. I mean, some of the jokes work anyway but the thing is that when Juice talks about the definition of a catch? That’s an actual question that is being debated right now specifically because receivers are pushing the boundaries of what is possible as far as controlling a football goes, and review technology is so advanced. 

When you have a league with Odell Beckham Jr, Julio Jones, Antonio Brown, Dez Bryant, even guys like Julian Edelman and Doug Baldwin and Larry Fitzgerald always pushing the sport to its limits you’re going to have to make some tough calls. I mean, we’re living in a time where we see wide receiver talent we haven’t seen since the NFL was at the peak of 90s football. the sport is entering new phases, new modalities, and there very much is a question of what the future of football looks like when so many young athletes will end up choosing a different sport because by its very nature football is brutal, is violent, cannot exist without trauma repeated over and over, football is Oedipal and at times even capitalist, as Juice notes. 

17776 responds to the question of what football is like in the future by entirely redefining both, by abandoning the parameters of the question entirely even in the medium of response. In no small part, this is speculative fiction as the only possible answer to a question of such size.

anonymous asked:

Enjoltaire + "Are you flirting with me?!" if you're taking requests!

A/N: here, anon, have some fluff ^-^ sorry for any mistakes- this was written on my phone haha

Grantaire doesn’t know who told Enjolras, but he is going to kill them. That being said, it was probably Courfeyrac, and Grantaire quite likes Courfeyrac, so he’s not really sure where he stands on the whole ‘killing’ part.

It had started off as a normal conversation; Enjolras had been talking about some issue or other when Grantaire had slipped in with his usual lewd comments. The same wink that would usually have earned him an eye-roll had today turned Enjolras’ lips downwards into a frown.

“Are you flirting with me?” he’d asked, and Grantaire- Grantaire is still trying to formulate a response because what.

Grantaire flirts with Enjolras. This is a known fact to all inhabitants of the earth, except Enjolras himself. Grantaire teases and baits and irritates Enjolras, who doesn’t react to any of it except for the occasional sigh or look of disdain.

Enjolras does not know Grantaire flirts with him. Enjolras has remained oblivious to Grantaire’s flirting since day one, which leads Grantaire to the only logical conclusion: one of their traitorous friends has gone and clued him in.

“I’m glad you finally noticed.” Grantaire says dryly, because what is he if not honest?

Enjolras just stares at him. “How long…?” he asks, leading the conversation into a stretch of silence that’s going to get awkward pretty fast. Grantaire would take this opportunity to run and never look back if he didn’t wholly revel in the feeling of Enjolras’ gaze on him.

“I can’t give you an exact date but in looser terms, probably from around the moment we met.” He says, grinning in an attempt to keep everything playful and hide the sincerity the confession would have otherwise uncovered.

Enjolras looks strickened. “Courf said you were but I always thought you were just trying to wind me up.”

Ah, so it was Courfeyrac, Grantaire thinks grimly. They’re going to be having a Conversation later.

“Who’s to say I wasn’t doing both? Flirting with you is fun, seeing you wound up is a nice side effect.”

“Oh.” Enjolras says, his expression twisted into one of confusion.

“I can stop, if you want.” Grantaire says after a lengthy pause. Enjolras hasn’t moved away yet, still stood in front of Grantaire in contemplation, and Grantaire isn’t that much of an asshole that he wants to make Enjolras uncomfortable. “I didn’t think you minded because I’ve been doing it for so long, but if this changes anything, if I’m crossing some boundary-type-thing, I’ll stop. Promise.” he adds, placing his hand over his heart because, yes, he is just that sincere.

“No, no, it’s not that,” Enjolras dismisses, waving his hand as if to clear the air of Grantaire’s words. “I just haven’t had that much experience with flirting. That’s all. You’re welcome to continue, if you like.”

Now it’s Grantaire’s turn to stare. Did Enjolras just… give him permission to flirt with him? That can’t be right, Grantaire’s ears must be broken. Can ears break? He’ll have to as Joly later.

“I- What?”

“Maybe it’ll give me a chance to get better at it, too.” Enjolras’ face is as stoic as ever but there’s a spark in his eyes different from the usual Revolutionary Fervor, and Grantaire is so fucked.

“Sure.” Grantaire says. His brain is only capable of monosyllables at the minute.

The barest hint of a smile makes itself known on Enjolras’ lips. “See you around, R.” he says, leaning forward and pressing them against the stubble of Grantaire’s cheek.

It takes a second for Grantaire’s brain to register the use of his nickname, and another few to register the kiss. By the time he’s caught up with his body’s reactions, Enjolras is on the other side of the room, casually chatting with Combeferre.

Far from killing him, Grantaire decides he’s going to send Courfeyrac the biggest flower arrangement he’s ever seen.

send me prompts!!!

Confession: I loved him. I love him. For three years I worked with a man to develop a tight-knit relationship that was reciprocal. We got engaged and I was so excited and couldn’t wait to be his misses. Over the last 6 months I started to realize he takes no initiative and is very impulsive. I broke off the engagement because I no longer desired to teach. I had to teach him how to support me, how to comfort me, how to stick to his word, how to plan ahead, how to mind physical boundaries with other women, how to retain privacy of our relationship, how to effectively spend time, how be professional, how to communicate, how to be consistent and the list goes on. I once loved to watch him grow but recently I have become exhausted. In efforts to get my Masters i would have thought he would have stepped up, but no. I feel like I am forever giving then when I decide to no longer give or express displeasure I am put in a place of guilt. Right now I want to go back. This was the most serious relationship I’ve been in. I know I deserve better but I envision the single professionals I know and fear that to be me. I can’t stop thinking, “We were so close. Just go back.” Then I wonder am I settling. It hurts

Coincidences (Steve Rogers x Short!Reader)

Hello, readers, this is my first one-shot so please go easy on me. I’m actually contemplating if to make this a multi-part but we’ll see how this goes>.< And Enjoy!

Pairing: Steve x Short!Reader

Summary: Pre-CACW. You start off the day with people teasing you about the one thing you can’t control, your height. Then just when you thought your day couldn’t get worse it gets…better? You start seeing the same cute guy everywhere you go and you start to wonder if it is just a coincidence or fate.

Word Count:1,768

Warnings: A handful of swears.

(Y/N) – Your name

(L/N) – Last name

(s/c) – Skin colour

(B/F/N) – Best friend name

(F/R) – Favourite restaurant

(f/f) - Favourite food

“Hey, watch where you’re going!”

“Sorry I didn’t see you there…and still, don’t,” the stranger smirks at his own retort before going on his merry way. Probably to a business meeting with CEO’s and shite based on the way his snazzy Kenneth Cole suit made him reek sophistication, it’s always these types that feel to need to be pompous jerks to everyone else. I mean, I know that my 5’2 frame isn’t helping to lessen the insults but still, you shouldn’t be so mean to someone you don’t even know. But then again, when you’re out here on these crowded streets of New York during lunch hour, who’s being nice? I’m lost in my thoughts when,

“Oomph!” my face meets stone and I violently get pushed, my bum becoming best friends with the floor. Oh wait, that’s not stone, it’s someone’s chest which is covered by a navy blue V-neck…someone’s rock-hard and muscular chest. I inwardly drool as I look up towards his face which now makes me want to melt. His baby blue eyes grant him just enough softness to complement his killer jawline and blonde hair, and not to mention the worry that he held in them which makes me smile. And let us not forget those perfectly sculpted lips which urge me to just crash-

“Sorry ma’am, I didn’t see you there.” Alright, fantasy over.

“Don’t worry, most people don’t,” I shrug away his hand that he oh so generously set out for me with my own (s/c) colored hand and raise myself up from the ground, dusting whatever specs of gravel landed on my Levi blue jeans and a cream-colored blouse.

“Pardon me, ma’am, I meant no disrespect. I was on my,” he seems to pause as if remembering something, “iPhone and wasn’t looking at where I was going.”

“If you say so…,” I sigh, “well I guess no harm was done so enjoy the rest of your day.” I begin to walk towards my intended destination only to hear a faint “wait” from behind me causing my body to instinctually turn in his general direction, only to see him jogging towards me.

“I didn’t get your name, I’m Steve Rogers at you service ma’am.” He puts out his right hand and I hesitantly, but eventually shake it with my own, seeing how my (s/c) hand fit in his pale one.

“It’s not like you need it…but mine’s (Y/N) (L/N), and there is no need to be so formal either.” My phone suddenly rings shifting my attention to the screen which vibrates with impatient texts from my friend. “And I have to run. Nice to meet you I suppose?” and I trot off before he could say anything in reply.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“What took you so long? Look I know that love-making is a slow and sensual process but that shite is for the night alright, quickies are a morning thing for a reason. Oh wait I know, you were busy untying those goddam ropes with friggin’ origami knots, I already told you those kinks are-”

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Imagine #4 Erik Lehnsherr, Charles Xavier

Imagine… Being an old acquaintance of Erik’s and meeting him at Xavier’s school, where him and Charles both show an interest in you.

Not my gif

Words: 1495

Warnings: fem!reader, typos

Part 2  Part 3

“Uhm, excuse me?”, you asked a young girl passing by you while juggling a bunch of pears without touching them. It amazed you how openly those kids used their powers, as if they weren’t peculiar in any way. Well, they weren’t at this school, you reminded yourself. The girl stopped and eyed you curiously. “Would you mind telling me where I can find Professor Xavier’s office?”, you asked and smiled.

“It’s down the hall, to the left.”, she responded and turned around to pick up a pear she had dropped.

“Thanks.” Your heels loudly hit the floor as you walked past doors behind which you could feel the presence of students and teachers, children and adults. You were neither, you thought, and still, you were here. Right now you were just looking for someone to tell you how to use your abilities. You were hoping the Professor could maybe provide you with some information.

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13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks
  1. Say to yourself: “I am having a flashback”. Flashbacks take us into a timeless part of the psyche that feels as helpless, hopeless and surrounded by danger as we were in childhood. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are past memories that cannot hurt you now.

  2. Remind yourself: “I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in the present.” Remember you are now in the safety of the present, far from the danger of the past.

  3. Own your right/need to have boundaries. Remind yourself that you do not have to allow anyone to mistreat you; you are free to leave dangerous situations and protest unfair behavior.

  4. Speak reassuringly to the Inner Child. The child needs to know that you love her unconditionally- that she can come to you for comfort and protection when she feels lost and scared.

  5. Deconstruct eternity thinking: in childhood, fear and abandonment felt endless - a safer future was unimaginable. Remember the flashback will pass as it has many times before.

  6. Remind yourself that you are in an adult body with allies, skills and resources to protect you that you never had as a child. [Feeling small and little is a sure sign of a flashback]

  7. Ease back into your body. Fear launches us into ‘heady’ worrying, or numbing and spacing out.

    [a] Gently ask your body to Relax: feel each of your major muscle groups and softly encourage them to relax. (Tightened musculature sends unnecessary danger signals to the brain)

    [b] Breathe deeply and slowly. (Holding the breath also signals danger).

    [c] Slow down: rushing presses the psyche’s panic button.

    [d] Find a safe place to unwind and soothe yourself: wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a stuffed animal, lie down in a closet or a bath, take a nap.

    [e] Feel the fear in your body without reacting to it. Fear is just an energy in your body that cannot hurt you if you do not run from it or react self-destructively to it.

  8. Resist the Inner Critic’s Drasticizing and Catastrophizing:

    [a] Use thought-stopping to halt its endless exaggeration of danger and constant planning to control the uncontrollable. Refuse to shame, hate or abandon yourself. Channel the anger of self-attack into saying NO to unfair self-criticism.

    [b] Use thought-substitution to replace negative thinking with a memorized list of your qualities and accomplishments

  9. Allow yourself to grieve. Flashbacks are opportunities to release old, unexpressed feelings of fear, hurt, and abandonment, and to validate - and then soothe - the child’s past experience of helplessness and hopelessness. Healthy grieving can turn our tears into self-compassion and our anger into self-protection.

  10. Cultivate safe relationships and seek support. Take time alone when you need it, but don’t let shame isolate you. Feeling shame doesn’t mean you are shameful. Educate your intimates about flashbacks and ask them to help you talk and feel your way through them.

  11. Learn to identify the types of triggers that lead to flashbacks. Avoid unsafe people, places, activities and triggering mental processes. Practice preventive maintenance with these steps when triggering situations are unavoidable.

  12. Figure out what you are flashing back to. Flashbacks are opportunities to discover, validate and heal our wounds from past abuse and abandonment. They also point to our still unmet developmental needs and can provide motivation to get them met.

  13. Be patient with a slow recovery process: it takes time in the present to become un-adrenalized, and considerable time in the future to gradually decrease the intensity, duration and frequency of flashbacks. Real recovery is a gradually progressive process [often two steps forward, one step back], not an attained salvation fantasy. Don’t beat yourself up for having a flashback.
Games & Flames (Rivals AU Playlist)

I made a playlist a few months ago to release some of the feels from reading @kazliin​‘s Rivals AU fanfic, Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches (which is seriously one of the best Yuri on Ice fics written out there and yOU SHOULD TOTALLY READ IT!!!!) but then the companion fic came, and the feels dam just fucking exploded again. I just kept hearing songs that sounded like they’d go nicely with the fic, and I knew I had to make another playlist.

And so here we are! I call this playlist Games & Flames because Viktor seems to like playing mind games and playing with fire hahaha rEAD THE FICS AND YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHY. also because I like rhymes. Here’s a link to the series again for reference! Details on the playlist and more of my ramblings about why I chose the songs are under the cut~

YouTube | Spotify*

*One of the songs in my list is not on Spotify, I’m so sorry!

Keep reading

But what if we got this nice, calm, drama free, mutual and respectful love story that just happens exactly the way it’s supposed to be in the background of everything else blowing up left and right. Of course there would be some small hitches because of all the other drama happening around them, but at the end of the day nothing much would change regarding their feelings for each other. 

Wouldn’t that be beautiful and refreshing?

Just them falling slowly in love, respecting each others boundaries every step of the way. Building up this really, really strong emotional bond that nothing could break, ever. It’s not a very physical relationship, it doesn’t have to be, all it takes is a glance and they know it won’t matter that the world is falling to pieces around them.

Gleam party - Jack Maynard

Summary: It had been ages since you had last seen your friends. Luckily Gleam decided to hold a party were you could catch up and more… 

A/N: Look at how cute he is here. I saw Caspar’s video and got a sudden burst of inspiration to write again. Let’s hope it stays! x

“Good morning,” you smiled to the camera in front of you, “as I said yesterday, today is the day for the Gleam festival/party thing and I’m so excited! I get to see so many youtubers I haven’t seen in a long time and I’m really looking forward to this. But I do have to get ready first so I’ll see you in a bit.”

After ending the bit you turned off your camera and moved to take a quick shower. You slipped on a robe once you were finished and sat down in your makeup chair. “What to choose?” you mumbled to yourself. You decided to go quite natural with a bronze eye look and pink brown lips. You put on the outfit you chose beforehand to avoid a clothing crisis, and slipped into your converse. Once your sunglasses were on your face, you were good to go. After grabbing your bag and your vlogging camera you hopped in the car and started the journey.

You were genuinely so excited for this party, and couldn’t wait to see friends you hadn’t seen in ages. You had been on tour and after that you did some travelling so it had been some months since you had seen everybody. The person, though, you were looking most forward to seeing again was Jack. Feelings had blossomed after you formed a close friendship with most of the ‘buttercream squad’ as they were called, and it seemed as though he felt something for you, too. Hopefully, tonight would give you the last indication of his feelings and were he stood. 

Keep reading

itumblthingsnow  asked:

Hi Daniel, I have two questions: 1. You're pretty open about your anxiety regarding unusual social situations. Do you have any strategies for dealing with events where you know you'll be meeting a lot of people, like conventions or meetups? 2. Is there anything people can do to minimize your discomfort when they meet you in these situations? Is there something you wish people would do or would stop doing?

Hey!

1. There’s really no completely bulletproof way to prepare for meeting a lot of people at conventions; even if you DON’T suffer from anxiety at all, it can be an exhausting and draining experience. You just do whatever you can to reduce stress in anticipation of the event. I did two panels at C2E2 which necessitated meeting a bunch of strangers after, shaking their hands, and trying to engage with them in as meaningful a way as possible in the limited amount of time we had together. In anticipation of the first panel, I took a Lyft to the event and sat in the back seat listening to musicals in my headphones. I do the same thing whenever I go to one of our live podcasts; I never drive, because I don’t want to be stressed about traffic or get frustrated by someone I think is a bad driver (literally anyone on the road who isn’t me). I put headphones in and say verbatim to every Lyft driver “Hey I’m going to be listening to a podcast back here, so if I don’t respond or anything, that’s why. Feel free to play whatever music you want, it won’t bother me.” This ensures that I won’t have to make small-talk with a stranger while on the drive to make small talk with lots of strangers. Even if the driver doesn’t believe that I’m listening to a podcast (I’m not), the message is still clear and delivered fairly inoffensively: I’m not available to chat right now, and it’s me, not you. I listen to musicals specifically because I like them and because they conjure up so many visuals in my imagination that it’s really easy to tune out the rest of the world and get lost in them, whether I’m imagining what the show looks like or imagining being one of the characters, singing and dancing like an asshole. Some people mediate, probably, but this is one of the things I choose to do. In the twenty minutes to an hour before I have to do a convention or live podcast or stand up, I’m free of responsibility and locked into a world that has nothing to do with any of those things.

For the other panel, I took a bike instead of a Lyft to the event. This is also helpful and common for me. Physical activity always makes my brain feel good and always helps me shut down my anxiety for a while. Immediately before any live event in front of people, you can probably see me jumping up and down or doing some high kicks or lunges or just generally pacing around. All of these things calm me down.

The MOST anxiety-reducing tool when it comes to these live events, though, is having my friends there. At this point I have a psychic link with my buddies, so if I’m feeling trapped in an uncomfortable conversation with a well-meaning stranger with questionable ideas on boundaries, all I need to do is make eye contact with Soren or Cody and if they’re free, they’ll come grab me and say some variation of “I’m so sorry to interrupt but I really need to take him away right now” (and I do the same for them). We don’t have a specific code word or hand signal or anything, we’ve just been doing this long enough that we can recognize an uncomfortable situation when we see one. So the short version is, if you know you’re walking into a situation that will be riddled with potentially uncomfortable moments, make sure you OD on things that make you comfortable in advance, and in my case that’s musicals, physical activity and supportive friends.


2. That’s very kind of you to ask! 99 percent of the people we meet at conventions or out in the world are very kind and polite and don’t cause tremendous amounts of anxiety. Chiefly I would just say, like, don’t just grab me? Or any of us? Whenever someone asks to take a picture with me, I will 9 out of 10 times say “I’m going to put my arm right on you now, okay?” I do this because it usually gets a slight laugh (the phrasing is intentionally awkward) and also to put it out there for anyone within earshot that it doesn’t take a lot of time or creativity to a) get consent and b) prepare someone for physical contact.

At C2E2, some giant fucking asshole wordlessly rushed Cody, wrapped an arm around him and took a picture with him and then stomped off like the dumb fucking goon sasquatch that he was. After Comikaze last year, someone grabbed my arm while walking down the street, blocks from the convention, to ask for a picture. Support is always great, and I understand excitement, but it still sucks to be suddenly grabbed. (By the way, I’m totally aware that this experience of sudden, unexpected physical contact that I and my coworkers experience once maybe every 7 months is a near constant occurrence for, like, all women everywhere in all circumstances. If you’re a person who sometimes gets excited and grabs internet comedy writers, stop doing that, but if you’re a man who sometimes gets excited and puts your hand on cute women in the street and at bars and parties and work and parks and stuff, that is a much BIGGER problem. If you’re the kind of person who grabs internet comedy writers AND women strangers out in the world, it would be great if you could stop BOTH of those things, but if you could only stop doing one, definitely make it be the “grabbing women I don’t know” one. That is a way more pressing concern.)

Regardless of all that though, if you meet me or one of us at a convention or whatever, you don’t need to focus TOO much on reducing our discomfort. You’re not walking into my home or climbing into our office; we came to this event because we wanted to perform for you, and part of that involves meeting you to thank you for reading our articles and watching our videos, because we don’t have jobs if you don’t do that. We know what we’re walking into, and we’re doing it on purpose.

Aw.

Looks like I was right, earlier–Pearl was deliberately trying to open up, to push her own boundaries, to step outside her comfort zone.  She wanted to do something “cool”, at least as she understood it, so that Amethyst and Steven would relate to her more, or look up to her, or even just to genuinely have something to share with them.  So–she dressed up, put on airs, tried to seem the part.

And now she’s shedding all the false trappings–symbols of how she was trying too hard, trying to be something She Wasn’t, and overlooking that she did push her boundaries–she did try out human clothes, and she did drink the juice she was so scared of, and then she took off into the night to chase a mysterious, beautiful woman and successfully escaped a cop and just has, in general, had An Adventure!

There are different kinds of bravery and badassitude, Pearl, and the woman who defied a tyrannical regime and terrified legions of enemy soldiers with her unstoppable skill and terrifying body count is also the woman who spent centuries in frilly ballet dancer outfits and wanted to spend a nice night in solving puzzles with her son, and who would, if presented with a Diamond tomorrow, pull out her spear and start fighting again in a heartbeat.  Just because the punk rock aesthetic Isn’t You doesn’t invalidate that.

{Reaction} Gang EXO falling in love with their bosses daughter while they were supposed to guard them.

Note: So, admittedly I did struggle with this one a little so I hope it’s alright. Please enjoy anon and anyone else reading! ~Mami

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/images used.

Main Masterlist - EXO Masterlist

Park Chanyeol

Originally posted by daenso

When Chanyeol finds out he has the opportunity to protect you, he jumps at the chance. Not just because he likes protecting people, but also because he knows how beautiful and amazing you are since the boss talks about you a lot. When Chanyeol met you for the first time, his feelings were nothing more than a small crush, but as time went on, his feelings progressed and he found himself falling in love. A part of him would be really happy about it, since there isn’t a lot in his life that keeps him happy anymore, but he would also be upset, knowing how minimal the chance is that the relationship would work in such a rough business.

Chanyeol: “{y/n} if you accept my love, then I’ll stop all of this. I’ll give up the gang and we can live a normal life. We can get married and buy a house with a garden and a dog. We can think about having children and taxes. I promise that if you accept me, I’ll do everything I can to turn this all around.”


Do Kyungsoo/ D.O.

Originally posted by kyungception

Kyungsoo didn’t have a say when he was told you needed to be guarded, and frankly, he wasn’t happy about it at first. At the start, he wouldn’t talk to you much. He’d make sure you were safe and nothing more, he didn’t want to get involved with you more than he needed to. But as time moved on, that became increasingly difficult, especially since you were so sweet. It started off that you offered to talk to him about his problems, and for a long time he wouldn’t. But when you got him to open up and trust you, he did. That’s when he started falling in love, and that was the point of no return.

Kyungsoo: “Would you ever date someone from a gang?”

{y/n}: “Maybe, why do you ask?”

Kyungsoo: “I was just wondering…”


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

Baekhyun doesn’t have the ‘ladies man’ image for no reason. When he’s told he’s guarding you, he sees this as a perfect opportunity to woo you {he doesn’t care if you’re the boss’s daughter, if he sees something he wants, he isn’t going to hold back.} For a long time, his attitude was simple flirting and persuading you into one night stands {but since it’s him, he didn’t have to persuade you too hard.} He started to realise he was in love quite early on, which to him was rather scary, but he wasn’t going to let it fuck everything up. He’s still a member of a gang, and no woman was going to change that. Therefore, he intended to hide behind his feelings for as long as he could get away with.

{y/n}: “If this is just a one night stand, why are you still here?”

Baekhyun: “I’m supposed to be protecting you, remember?”

{y/n}: “Not on Sundays, my Dad is home.”

Baekhyun: “It’s Sunday already? Wow… I had no idea.” *Terrible liar*


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by exoturnback

Sehun would have a hard time when he first starts guarding you since you didn’t want to be guarded. You’d argue with him and pick fights when he told you that you couldn’t go on ‘missions’ with him. But even though you drove him crazy, he still managed to fall for you. But that only complicated things. When he fell for you, he found himself caving into your pleads to going out with him to illegal spots and doing dirty work.

Sehun: “You can’t come on this one {y/n}, it’s dangerous.”

{y/n}: “More dangerous than robbing a bank with arms?”

Sehun: “… Not the point, if your Dad finds me I’m dead.”


Zhang Yixing/ Lay

Originally posted by jonginssoo

Lay won’t take any messing around from you. If you try and get out, he isn’t going to take it lightly, or if you try and deceive him, he isn’t going to let you off for it unpunished. At first, the relationship wasn’t much, he was the guard, and you didn’t dare try and get past him. But as the relationship progressed, you became more daring, knowing where Yixing’s boundaries where and which buttons you could push. He started falling for you, but he’s a realistic man, and knows that a relationship with the boss’s daughter is more than forbidden.

{y/n}: “I’ll go right now and tell him how I feel about you-”

Yixing: *Grabs your wrists and pushes you up against a wall* “Not if I make sure you can’t walk to go and tell him”


Kim Jongdae/ Chen

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

Jongdae knows the business of the job is rough, and feels sorry for you that you didn’t have a choice but to be in it. When he’s asked to guard you, he does, mainly because he knows how dangerous the business can be, and he doesn’t was you getting hurt on his conscience. He spends most of his time talking to you while guarding you. Luckily for him, no one really tries to come and find you, so his job is pretty easy. He realises he’s fallen in love when his job is slowly ticking towards it’s end, and he knows that if he doesn’t confess now then he’ll probably never have the chance again.

Jongdae: “I know you’re my boss’s daughter, but I really like you {y/n} and I want to be able to protect you forever…”


Kim Minseok/ Xiumin

Originally posted by minseokked

Like Yixing, Minseok won’t take any messing around. But unlike Yixing, he doesn’t let his feelings change how he works around you. When he starts falling in love, he doesn’t become any more lenient, and certainly doesn’t let it change how he does his job. He’s not going to let you sneak out behind your Dad’s back just because he’s in love with you. He can be a sweetheart, taking care of you, but he can also be very intimidating. When he finds out you feel the same way that he feels for you, he doesn’t know what to do with the information. And even though he plans on making some kind of confession, he makes sure that his guarding job is done beforehand, knowing he can’t let his personal feelings interfere with his work.

{y/n}: “But I want to go and see that guy! He was so hot and-”

Minseok: “If you wanted to see a hot guy {y/n}, all you had to do was ask.” *Raises up his shirt slightly to give you a sneak peak of the toned muscles that lay underneath*


Huang Zitao/ Tao

Originally posted by lil-duckling

Even though Tao is undoubtedly the strongest member due to his martial arts, that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to be a complete ass when it comes to protecting you. He would see guarding you as babysitting, and would probably be very careless at first. That is until you go missing and he freaks out because he knows your Dad will kill him if he finds out. Though Tao doesn’t take long tracking you down, he beats up the people that took you and takes his job more seriously after that. During his time of protecting you, he teaches you some self defense and some basic martial arts so that you can protect yourself. This is when he realises he’s really fallen in love.

Tao: “No, your arm needs to be like this.” *Comes up behind you and holds your hand to put it in the right place. Smiles when he feels his cheeks blush like he’s a teenager all over again.*


Kim Junmyeon/ Suho

Originally posted by baekintime

Even though Junmyeon is very kind, he is also very demanding, and won’t let you do anything that he sees as unsafe. He knows how to handle himself and won’t ‘take messing from a little girl.’ When he starts to fall in love, that’s where his starts to go downhill. He doesn’t know what to say, so he simply continues to try and work, but it’s not the same with the added emotions. He’s still a hard ass, and refuses to let you do anything bad, but he is more lenient and will take you out to certain places as long as they’re safe enough to do so.

{y/n}: “Please? The coffee shop is literally over there, please?”

Junmyeon: “Ugh fine, but this is your only treat.”

{y/n}: “Remember when you said that last night?

Junmyeon: “… Shut up, we don’t talk about that. Especially when your Dad could be around the corner.”


Lu Han

Originally posted by moncide

Luhan accepted the job to guard you, and certainly didn’t regret it. Since he’s so used to the guns and violence, he isn’t easily intimidated, if anything, he’s more intimidating than some of the other members. He’d spend half of his life walking around with a knife in his boot, and can be strict with you when he needs to be. He only lets you out when he’s with you, and does not appreciate other men looking at you. {He will beat up those shits if he notices them looking or make a comment about your hotness.} He realises he’s in love one night while you’re sleeping {he doesn’t sleep much, he doesn’t trust himself to since he can’t ensure your safety}. He was watching your face, how soft and beautiful it was and how peaceful you looked when you slept and that’s when he realised his true feelings

Luhan: *Watches you, realising he’s in love* “Well shit… that’s fucked up.”


Kim Jongin/ Kai

Originally posted by kaibility

Jongin was told to guard you after an incident where you had been captured, so when he finally started his job, he realised how screwed up you really were after the bad experience. He knew how scared you must be, and took that into consideration while guarding you. Unlike the other members, Jongin is a lot more caring, and will treat you more as a person than his ‘job.’ He makes you feel safe in any way possible, even if it means cuddling with you in the bed {though he isn’t exactly complaining about that one.} He doesn’t really remember when he realised he loved you, it just always seemed to be there, and that’s when he silently vowed to himself that he would never let you get hurt.

Jongin: “You’re a precious little petal, aren’t you {y/n}” *Patching you up after you fell over running away from another gang with him.*


Wu Yifan/ Kris

Originally posted by ohyaahkkaebsong

Kris was assigned the job of guarding you after he saved you from a very dangerous gang. The boss had been so impressed that he had given your well being into Kris’s hands and Kris really didn’t know how to feel about that. Half of him was happy, he wasn’t about to complain about having a beautiful girl all to himself, though another part of him was annoyed, he didn’t want to become your ‘babysitter’ as he put it. At first, he didn’t show you much emotion, but when he found out you’d fallen for him, he couldn’t help but fall for you. He realised he was in love with you while watching you do ordinary jobs in the small apartment you were both staying in together as a hide out.

Kris: “She’s so talented”

{y/n}: “Did you say something?”

Kris: “Table! I said table, you’re a table!” *Bad when it comes to complimenting/confessing*

“Moments” Carl x Reader

Words: 888

Carl Grimes x Reader

Summary: Carl and Reader get caught doing some things

Warnings: Smut, fluff, slight swearing

Originally posted by dezzi1026


“Y/N, you’ve got to be quiet.” Carl told me, leading me out of his window.

“I’m trying!” I exclaimed quietly. I’m a bit clumsy.

Carl and I have been dating for a few months, but we didn’t dare tell anybody. There were too many risks. Rick and Michonne were nice enough to let me stay in their house; I didn’t want to upset them, especially after they specifically told me to not get involved with Carl.

They’re sweet people, especially Rick. I know he has a good heart- good enough to save me from a walker and take me in a year ago. He became someone I refer to as my father. But, I wasn’t his kid. I wasn’t Carl, and I know he would choose him over me any day. I respect that. Which is why when he asked me to not be with Carl, I agreed. He explained that it had nothing to do with me, he loved me- he just didn’t think the zombie apocalypse was the best place to have teenage love. “Teenage love leads to babies,” Rick told me, “And trust me when I say that Carl doesn’t need a baby right now.”

But, here I am, sneaking out of the house with him. It’s become a normal thing now, to sneak out of his bedroom window to go outside.

“Where are we going?” I ask him once we get out. I look around Alexandria- no one to be seen.

“It’s a surprise.”

We walked a little while further until we were almost out of the boundaries. I didn’t question him, but I was getting nervous.

“We’re here.” He told me. I gasped.

“Carl…” I trailed off. He had set up a blanket in the grass, with food for us to eat. Alongside that was a bottle of vodka and a necklace (both of which he had presumably stolen on a run when no one was looking.)

“You’re amazing, did you know that?” I looked up at him, kissing him lightly. He kissed me a little deeper, but I pulled away. “Easy there, tiger.” I joked.

Carl picked up the necklace from the ground and put it around my neck. I wish I had a mirror to see what it looked like on, but I didn’t need one to know that it was beautiful.

“It looks good on you.” He complimented me, making me blush.

“Let’s eat, yeah?”

We ate all the food, and drank the whole bottle of vodka. We laughed until our sides hurt, which was a very rare occurrence. It’s moments like those that I live for. We enjoyed each other companies for a few more hours before we had to go back to the house and pretend to not be together. 

“Carl, iss almosst daytime. We gotta go back,” I slurred.

“Okay,” He stumbled getting up. We helped each other walk back to the house before going into our separate bedrooms.

I couldn’t sleep. Other than the fact that the sun was already coming up, I was insanely horny and I wanted Carl. I let myself sober up a bit more before I walked out of my room quietly and snuck into his room. I saw him lying on his bed, reading comics.

“How in the world are you reading right now,” I giggle, sitting down next to him. He sets down the comic and starts kissing me, his tongue sneaking into my mouth.

His hands travel up my shirt, reaching to remove my bra. He starts massaging my boobs, making me moan.

“Oh,” I moan. I pull down my shorts while he takes off his, and he starts pumping his fingers in and out of me. I clamp my hand over my mouth in order to keep myself quiet, but Carl takes that as a challenge. He uncovers my mouth and starts going faster. “Fuck, Carl, oh my god,”

I hear his door swing wide open.

Rick.

“Shit,” Carl and I both say, Carl moving on top of me to shield my body from his father.

“What the hell…” Rick says. “Get dressed. Now.”

He slams the door, looking pissed. We scurry to get dressed and we head downstairs.

“He’s going to kill us.” I whisper to Carl, who doesn’t say anything.

We sit down on the couch, in front of Rick, waiting for him to say something. He stares at us, like he’s trying to figure out what to say. We both wait in anticipation.

“You two reek of alcohol.” Rick says, and I let out a breath.

“I’m sorry.” I say quietly.

“Look, I don’t want to be mad at you two.” He says, running his fingers through his hair. “I should have seen this coming. I should have given you two the talk a long time ago, given you condoms. Should’ve had Y/N stay with Daryl…” He rambles, but it seems more like he is talking to himself. My heart stops, realizing that he might actually make me move out.

“Just… If I can’t prevent it, which I see that I can’t… Use condoms.” He says uncomfortably after a long period of silence. We both nod, and Rick leaves the room.

“Should we finish what we started?” Carl smirks.

And that’s the day you realized that sound travels around Alexandria. Especially if you forgot to close Carl’s window the night before.

anonymous asked:

69 - Swan Queen :) (bonus points if it's Emma saying it to Regina)

Emma took a little too long to notice. But when she did, she marched across Regina’s office and tried to grab at her hand.

“Why the hell are you bleeding?”

Regina glared up at her from her desk. She was doing her reading one-handed. But she was no worse for it.  

“I’m fine.”

But, against her will, Regina let her examine it. The bandage was sodden with blood and she winced as Emma opened it up.

“Regina, this needs stitches.” Emma looked around. “The dressing needs changing, at least. Do you have a first aid kit?”

“I said I was fine, Miss Swan. Do you need your hearing checked?”

Emma ignored her, and started to roll up Regina’s sleeve, finding yet another cut. Another bandage barely doing its job.

“Regina! What the hell…”

Regina yanked her arm away.

“Seems to me you need a lesson in personal boundaries.”

“That has to hurt,” Emma said. “Why are you so afraid to be human? I can take you to see Dr Whale right now.”

“Not on your life.”

Regina headed towards a far cabinet, and struggled one-handed to pull out the first aid kit. She refused Emma’s help and began to wind another bandage over her wound, roughly. She tried very hard not to let the pain show. When she looked back over at Emma, she found the other woman glaring.

“What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

Emma let out a breath, staring up at the ceiling in frustration.

“If someone hurt you, I need to know. You have every right to personal safety in this town, same as anybody else.”

“Thank you for that rousing speech,” Regina said, her voice cracking a little despite her attempt to be unmoved. “But nobody hurt me. It was….an accident.”

“I don’t believe you,” Emma said. “And if you don’t tell me the truth right now, I’m calling Dr Whale and getting him to make a house call with his home sewing kit.”

Regina glared at her, but Emma simply stared her down unflinchingly.

“Fine,” Regina said. “But you won’t like it.”

Emma crossed her arms, looking even more determined. Regina wanted to growl.

“I made a few miscalculations, and this is the result. It’s nothing to be alarmed about.”

Emma frowned.

“This was a…magic thing?”

“All magic has a price.”

“Yes yes, I know. I’ve seen The Craft.”

Regina glared at her.

“Do I look like a ninties goth chick to you, Miss Swan?”

“Honestly?” Emma said. “A little? I mean, the way you looked in that…you know.”

She made a motion near her breasts, and seemed to regret it instantly, blushing. Regina fought the urge to smile.

“Excuse me? The Evil Queen was not some poor-me trailer park goth chick.”

Emma smiled beatifically, and Regina realized she was being toyed with. She sighed.

“So, a spell?’ Emma mused. Regina nodded, rolling her eyes. “Is that why you can’t heal it?”

“It’ll be fine in a few days.”

“Presuming you don’t bleed to death first.”

“Oh honestly, it’s a cut. Don’t be so melodramatic.”

“It’s a gash, across your whole hand!” Emma said, looking frustrated. “And your arm. And more, probably. Because I can tell when you’re hiding shit.”

“Am I meant to check with you every time I do a dangerous spell?”

“Yes!” Emma hissed, and then she faltered, blushing a little. “I mean…God Regina. I just….”

Regina watched her, warming a little at the way Emma looked at her in concern.

“It isn’t as bad as it looks, Emma.”

“Yeah?” Emma said, looking disbelieving. “Would you even have told me if you were doing something that could get you maimed? Why would you even do this?”

“It was just a little protection spell,” Regina said, forcing the words out. “Ok?”

“No, not ok. What the hell, Regina? Protection from what?”

“Well you may have noticed how often we are in the path of general calamity?” She sighed. “Is it too much for me to want my son and his mother to be safe? I don’t think it is!”

Regina paused then, realizing what she had admitted to. She felt her face grow hot, and she looked away. At the wall, at the floor. Anywhere but Emma.

“You wanted to protect me?” Emma said, in wonder.

“Of course I did,” Regina said, trying to sound haughty. But her voice wobbled a little. She felt Emma rather than saw her when she came closer. Letting out a breath, she allowed the comfort of Emma’s hand on her shoulder.

“It goes both ways, Regina,” Emma said softly. “Remember that.” And Regina tried to remain unmoved, but the warmth in Emma’s expression took her breath away. She merely nodded in response. And Emma let out a sigh, looking back down at Regina’s injury.

“Now, I am going to dress that properly,” she said, giving Regina a firm look. “And you are going to shut up and let me.”

Regina smiled.