i have never been so nervous about posting something in my entire life

New a-hole in a peaceful neighborhood learns his lesson.

So I live in a quiet little town in the Midwestern United States. My house is the last house at the end of a sleepy little dead-end road. New guy moves in next door, let’s call him “D*ck”. D*ck was probably one of those guys who was so popular in high school that he thought he had it made without doing any work and tried to spend the rest of his life living off being the “cool guy”. Type of guy who drives a lifted truck and a motorcycle. (Don’t get me wrong, I ride motorcycles myself. What I don’t do, is sit in my driveway at 2 AM and rev my engine.)

There’s a bit of a downhill slope from the middle of the street to our houses at the end, and D*ck likes to race down this hill, then lock his brakes and “drift” into his driveway. The first winter after he moved in, I notice that my mailbox has been crushed and there’s fresh tire tracks in the snow leading down the street, over my mailbox, and into his driveway. A few days later I see D*ck standing outside and ask about this. He denies the entire thing says he doesn’t know what happened to my mailbox and that it must’ve been a delivery guy or something. I figure whatever and fix my mailbox. A few months later the same thing happens again. I fixed my mailbox and move on. Sometime later, this happens yet again. This time, I’m pretty pissed.

So, I talked to my cousin who’s a commercial welder and had him make me a mailbox out of some scrap quarter-inch steel plate which was mounted on a length of old railroad track for its post. A little bit of glue and some cedar shingles and you’d never know it wasn’t a typical wooden mailbox. Also, the railroad track “post” was sunk in concrete four feet into the ground. For the next several weeks I waited with anticipation every time I heard his truck roaring down the street, but nothing. Until, about five months later when I heard his truck, then a crash.

By this time I had forgotten about my mailbox and thought for sure he’d struck another car. I ran out to the street to see if anyone needed help, and there was his truck broadside against my mailbox all smashed up. He saw me walk up and started yelling about how I had destroyed his truck and he’d make me pay, and he called the cops. A cop showed up to take his report and D*ck pointed out how my mailbox had been specifically designed to destroy his truck. I gotta admit, I got nervous at this point. The cop looked around at the truck and the construction of the mailbox then turned back to us and asked me if I’d had trouble with my mailbox before. I explained how it has been smashed several times in the past year. The cop then said “It’s pretty clear what happened here. This is an obvious case of wanton destruction of property.” My heart sunk to the ground and D*ck got a smug look on his face, but then cop turns to D*CK and says “I’m going to issue a citation for this, as well as reckless driving”. You should have seen D*cks face at this point. He was boiling with rage as the cop wrote him two tickets AND told him he needed to pay for the repair of the damaged wood on my mailbox. (The metal was fine, hadn’t even tilted it, but the wood camouflage had broken off)

Auction AU Part 2


Here’s the first part  ! I recommend you read it before this part, or else it won’t make much sense.

Sorry this took like, ten million years. Thanks to everyone who messaged me and said they liked the first part, it always made my day <3 

————

    The relief only lasted so long once he realized that yes, no more old-leopard-print lady (thank god), but still there’s a date with someone. A stranger.

    Jack’s barely held decent conversations with his teammates, how would a date with a stranger work?

    It wouldn’t. No way.

   Feeling like he’d just survived a brutal game, Jack took a few seconds to gather himself. He wiped the condensation from his forehead (he really hoped no one had noticed), slowed his breathing, let his jaw unclench. Once his fingers became steady enough he fixed the cuffs of his uncomfortably hot suit.

   “Fuck it,” He shucked the jacket off entirely. It felt good until he lifted his arms- “Ugh.”

   Pit stains.

   For a moment he struggled with what to do: If I wear the jacket I’m uncomfortable and sweating more, but if I don’t people can see the sweat and thats embarrassing and-

   “Jack!” Someone from management tapped his shoulder, “This way, the kid is waiting on stage right.” She gave him a brief once-over, “Put on the jacket.”

    With a somewhat relieved nod, he slipped the jacket back on and wished for a calmer heart-beat.

     The wish didn’t come true, of course. It rarely did.

    They approached the stairs leading off the stage.

    This kid must like you. They bid on you. They spent money for a date-thing-whatever with you. Just smile. Act like a normal-

   “Hi!”

   -person.

   “Uh, hi.”

Keep reading

Public Shame

As I mentioned, I recently read Jon Ronson’s book “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed” and thought it made some very compelling points on the renaissance of public shaming in the age of social media.  I was going to post my highlights, but then I realized I’d highlighted about 30% of the book, so instead:

I wrote down what I thought were some of the key, take-home points the book made, and pulled quotes from the book in no particular order for each of them.  It’s  still a wall of text, but feel free to wade in if you’re interested.

Again, I strongly recommend giving this book a read.

  • Public shaming is often motivated by a belief that one is Doing Good
  • Public shaming is about social conformity
  • Public shaming can make us LESS aware of viewpoints different that our own 
  • Shame works because we are all afraid
  • Shaming others can bring out our own brutality
  • Shame leads to dehumanization and “death of the soul”
  • Shame leads to violence
  • Technology has strange warping effects on how public shaming affects us (and social media shaming can have longer impacts than we expect)
  • There is evidence that “De-shaming” may have more positive outcomes than shaming

quotes from the book supporting each point under the cut. (bolding mine, quotes by paragraph and in no particular order)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

(I love your writing it makes me wanna jump off a cliff with happiness) Can I uHHHHHHH get a drarry fic where it's 8th year and draco is quite and none of his friends are at hogwarts so he starts to make a habit of going outside at night and star gazing, one night harry decides he wants a break from the crowds so he goes outside only to find a sleepy draco and a whole lotto stars (Sorry if this ask sounded so demanding)

Ah thank you that’s so kind!  Only don’t go jumping off any cliffs!  Unless you’re base diving maybe…oh or bungee jumping.  Then that’s alright.  Also this took awhile because I started writing this in tumblr and IT ATE MY DAMN DRABBLE AND I WAS SO MAD, so it took me awhile to be less angry and start to try to write it all over.


“What’re you doing out here?”  

Draco jumps at the unexpected voice, snapping his eyes open and shooting the other boy a dirty look which is met with an impish grin.  Draco would be more annoyed at the interruption if he weren’t finding it so attractive.  Fucking Potter, try as he might Draco can’t seem to dislike a single thing about him anymore.

“I was…relaxing.”

“Looked like you were sleeping.”  

“I was not sleeping.  I was enjoying some peace and quiet before you so rudely interrupted.”

Potter doesn’t respond right away, so Draco finally looks at him and is surprised to see the other boy looking, well, nervous.  He wants to roll his eyes.  He doesn’t understand Potter sometimes, how he can be so smart and sarcastic and full of life and the next moment look like he’s unsure he’s wanted; he wonders what’s happened in his life that could make Potter so unsure how other people feel about him.  He wants to know desperately but they aren’t there yet so he files it away in his mental list of things he wants to know about Potter but may never find out.

When Potter makes no move to speak, or leave, Draco scoots to the side making room for the other boy to sit beside him.  He doesn’t say anything, just makes a bit of extra room on the blanket he’d transfigured when he’d come outside.  Thankfully words aren’t necessary and Potter slides down right next to him, impossibly close to Draco.

“So, Potter, what exactly are you doing here?  Isn’t there some sort of party going on in the common room?”

Potter huffs out a laugh, rubbing his hands on his knees.  “There’s always a party going on.  I just…there’s,” he sighs, looking a bit uncomfortable as if he isn’t sure what to say.

“There’s a lot of people in there.  Rather noisy.”  Draco sometimes wonders how it seems as if they both seem to feel the same, despite the fact that their experiences couldn’t have been more different.  It should be weird, realizing how much they have in common, but instead it just feels right.

The tension visibly leaves Potter’s body at Draco’s words.  “Yes…yes, that.”

After several quiet moments, Draco finds himself speaking without even consciously deciding to do so.  “I came outside to watch the stars.  Growing up I always liked astronomy, and I know what you’re thinking but it wasn’t some narcissist thing because I’m named after a bloody constellation alright.  It’s just…they’re fixed you know?  No matter what happens, whether we can see them or not, the stars are always the same.  I like that, knowing that some things are constant.”

“It’s beautiful,” Potter whispers, but when Draco turns his head to agree he realizes Potter isn’t looking at the stars, he’s looking at him.  And then Potter’s hand is reaching towards him, one of them reaching out to tangle his fingers with Draco’s and the other moving to the back of his neck.  They’re so close Draco can feel the other boy’s warm breath ghosting across his face.

“What are you doing, Potter?”

“No fucking idea,” he mumbles, closing the distance and pressing his lips to Draco’s.  Potter taste like fire whiskey and chocolate, and his lips are ice cold and chapped.  It’s perfect.

It occurs to Draco, as Potter pushes him down on the blanket, kissing him as if he were the air Potter needed to breath, that Draco has spent his entire life looking for something that wouldn’t change when maybe what he should’ve been doing was finding someone or something worth changing for.

Maybe like a dying star they will crash and burn, or maybe they’ll stay a constant he can look for on his darkest days.  All Draco knows as he reaches out to touch Potter in as many places as possible, is that for once in his life maybe he’s not so afraid of the unknown anymore.

anonymous asked:

I just read proposal yesterday and thought it was so sweet! I was wondering if you have any fics you could recommend? Jimin is my bias but I'm pretty open to any members with the reader. Thanks and keep up the good work! Kep jarng! 😁

Aghh thank you so much, sweetheart! I’m so glad you enjoyed Proposals and I’m really flattered that you’re asking me for recommendations! :D Okay, here’s a list of my fave fics that you should check out if you haven’t already. So you aren’t confused, the stuff in italics is the synopsis/description the writer provided and the indented bit is me being incoherent and lame as always.

Sin City (Jimin x reader) by @btssmutgaloreAfter a run of bad luck, you can go back home and admit defeat or step out of your comfort zone and look for a job at Sin City.  

Hands down the best stripper au I’ve ever read. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this fic because you never know where stripper AUs are going to go, but holy moly am I glad I gave this a chance. You will be addicted to this fic. Jimin’s character has so much depth, but he’s such an enigma at the same time and I’m dying to know what the heck he’s thinking/what his background is. The tension is so drawn out and the sessy scenes are all so different, which is really refreshing to read and you don’t know what’s going to come next. ALSO, I feel like there’s a lot of empowerment and respect in this fic, which makes me so happy. Love love love this fic with my entire being. 

Monster (Jeongguk x reader) by @btssmutgalore: You sleep with an obnoxious fratboy who used to be your friend.

This fic is perfection. It doesn’t have a complicated plot, but it’s still so interesting to read and the smut is A++++. Jeongguk’s character has so many facets and though he has a lot of issues to sort through, I’m rooting for him and the OC so much. 

Purple Jewels (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @jiminniemouse: When you fall in love with Jungkook and he isn’t there to catch you, a sudden surprise shows up to give you a little bit of help.

GENIE!JIMIN. AKLSDJFKLAASKDJFLK (I really tried not to keyboard smash but fuck I lose my shit because of how much I love this fic). Oh man, where do I even begin with this?? It’s my absolute favourite Jimin x reader fic and one of my absolute fave fics in general because it’s written so well, it’s creative, the characters are interesting, AND THE TENSIONNNN. I come so close to combusting with each part and I’m dying for more. Also Jimin’s character is so sweet and I love him so much (where can I find myself a genie Jimin???). Please please please read this!

Hiraeth (Jeongguk/Taehyung x reader) by @jungkxookA world full of dwindling hope and lost loves and yet you and Jungkook are all the other needs to feel at home. 

This is the first member x reader fic I ever read and IT IS THE BEST THING EVER. EVER. It’s a zombie apocalypse au and it’s so angsty and sometimes it feels like my heart has been punched out of my chest and it’s such a wonderful feeling even though it hurts like hell. The world is constructed so believably and there are so many well thought out details to it, so when you’re reading it feels REAL. All the characters are different and you never know what’s going to happen next. I can’t recommend reading this enough, it is freaking incredible (and the love triangle is fucking me up so bad).

Philophobia (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @minsvgasex has its consequences, always; whether for better or for worse, sex always has its consequences. and the drunken rendezvous you have with your best friend is not an exception.

This is discontinued but it’s still worth reading because it’s so freaking hot and I love the plot and just??? I don’t usually read fuckboy fics because fuckboys are the bane of human existence, but this fic is amazing and the smut is awesome. Also be prepared to not know who you’re rooting for. One second I would want Jimin to win the OC’s heart and the next I wanted Jeongguk to end up with her, so brace yourself for conflicting feelings.

Company (Namjoon x reader) by @fireheart-namjoon​: Sometimes all you want is a bit of company.

OKAY before I scream about the sessy stuff in this fic, I really want to say that I fucking loved Namjoon’s characterization in this and it’s so nice to read an OC who is strong and independent. The writing style is absolutely fantastic and the thigh riding was 100000/10.

Retrograde (Jeongguk x reader) by @remembeofantasy!au

When I read this I feel the way I do on rainy, dark days when I’m reading a book and just slip away into the world on the page. The details and the way this is written are so mesmerizing and I want to know more. You’re so swept away by everything that you completely forget about the reality for a little while.

A Roadtrip (Jeongguk x reader) by @taeinmycupJungkook makes your planned roadtrip to Busan a bit messy.

Road trip fics never get old and neither does the childhood-friends-to-lovers plot either. This was a wonderful fic to indulge in and um the frick frack is pretty damn nice. Just saying.

Sutures and Stitches (Jeongguk x reader) by @hayjeon​: hitman!jeongguk and medstudent!Y/N bestfriends!au; Jeongguk always shows up to your place or hospital whenever he gets hurt because you guys are best friends and you patch him up, but he has no idea that every time you stitch up his wounds, it tears open new wounds in your own heart.

I recently read this and I am OBSESSED. I refresh the OP’s page daily just to make sure I didn’t miss an update. The writing is so detailed and Jeongguk’s character is so interesting, I just want to know what the heck happens next + how Jeongguk ended up with this kind of life.

Chrysalism (Jimin x reader) by @workofteaguk: Bookstores have always lured you in with the promise of the quiet, the serene, and, most recently, him.

THIS IS THE SWEETEST FREAKING THING AND I WISH IT WERE LONGER. It made my entire day when I read it and I was smiling the entire time. Where do I have to go to find a cute boy like this???

It’s All Fun & Games (Jeongguk x reader) by @workofteagukIn which you and Jungkook attempt to fake a relationship for revenge and end up with a lot more than either of you expected.

When will fake relationship AUs not be the best thing in existence? The answer to that is never. I don’t care how many times people write this concept, it will always be so fun to read because of the angsty feels. So if you’re as trash for this as I am, then absolutely read this.

Sounds of You (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @vivacioustae​: As a young girl you dreamt of hearing the bells, the ones that signaled you had found your soulmate, the missing piece everyone was so desperate to find. After falling in love with Jimin you abandoned the search, hoping you would come to never hear the bells, preferring to continue your life with him uninterrupted. You’d soon come to learn the harshness of fate, and that it doesn’t care about your hopes, feelings, or you.

Listen, from the very first sentence of this fic, I was completely hooked. From the get go you know that it’s going to mess with your emotions, but it’s worth it. I love this concept so much and my heart is aching reading this. After reading the first part, this fic is all I could think about and my heart ached because I wanted to know what was coming next, but also wasn’t prepared for it. Love love love this.

Teamwork (Taehyung x Seokjin x reader) by @sugajpgPeculiar events occur when the two best volleyball players of your college decide to take competitiveness out of the courts.

Best threesome fic I’ve read so far. I’m just. :’’’’’)) I’m still screaming. Fml this is too good and I feel the flames of hell licking my feet but screw it. Where do I sign up for this?

Like Crazy (Jimin x reader) by @war-of-hormoan: This story is based off the film by the same name.

Because I don’t care about my well-being in any way, I started this fic and I love it so much so far. The film Like Crazy is incredible, but it feels like you’ve been punched in the gut twenty times by the end, and it made me sob… like crazy. So this fic will probably end up doing that too and as nervous as I am for that, it’s so worth it. Everything is written so vividly and the relationship between Jimin and the OC is so sweet to read. I’m really excited to see how this progresses.

Grey Area (Yoongi x reader) by @blushoseoksAnd just like that, your fate was sealed - because Min Yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell, if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so. And sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

THIS IS SO WELL WRITTEN. SO. WELL. WRITTEN. Ohmygod, I’m in love with this writing style and THE CONCEPT IS AMAZING. The ending of part one left me feeling like I’d been kicked in the gut or something and you’re all ???? wtf is going on??? and you’re completely hooked so you binge read the rest. This fic is perfection.

Until Next Time (Jimin x reader) by @taeverieWho would have guessed that a stranger you met through an online game would quickly escalate into a cyber fuck buddy?

OK OK OK UM LET ME GATHER MY THOUGHTS HERE. First off, how can I be the OC?? Second off, HOW CAN I BE THE OC???? I wouldn’t have the balls to actually be this forward in real life but still, this just kept escalating and they didn’t even really do the hanky panky but it was still hot as fuck and 10/10 would recommend.

Not So Honest (Jeongguk x reader) by @wonhopesJungkook has got a pretty big problem, and he desperately asks you for your help. 

Hi hello yes be prepared to explode ok this was TOO good oml. I’m also a slut for sub!jeongguk because that sinful man deserves to be tortured the way he tortures us so this was a glorious find (though the roles do reverse in the end but whatever THIS WAS GREAT).

Obey (Jimin x reader) by @sugasgrowl

sub!jimin. Must I say more? I spontaneously combusted like ten times while reading this and would gladly undergo that again because it’s so nice to read fics where the roles reversed and I would give up a limb to see Jimin in such a debauched state.

All To Myself (Jimin/Yoongi x reader) by @mint-tape: “It’s hard to be a vlogger when half your subscribers care more about your hot friends than you.”
- Y/N, from her April 23, 2016 vlog titled ‘Jimin shows his stupid abs 8 times (not clickbait)’

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST CREATIVE FICS I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. All the ‘videos’ and the ‘comments’ and just everything about this is absolute perfection. The characters are all diverse and the OC is really likeable. Just. I’m glad I found this fic, it’s so unique and all these extra goodies make the read even more fun.

The Blue Notebooks (Jimin x reader) by @inktae: time travel au

Honestly, I don’t even know what to write about this because I’m still speechless. No words can capture how beautiful the writing is (all her work is beautiful) and how well emotion is captured in this. Everything is so thought out and all these little details come together to form the bigger picture. Do yourself a favour and read this as well as all the rest of the OP’s writing. She is so freaking talented and we are all blessed to be able to read her work.

…Sorry, that got ridiculously long. @_@ For member x reader fics I tend to read Jimin/Jeongguk focused stuff, if it’s not incredibly obvious… Oops. Am I Jimin biased or jiguk biased? Anyway. I hope this list helped and I’m sorry it took so long for me to respond, I just wanted to get through some of the fics I had saved in case I wanted to recommend them. Enjoy!

Becoming Queer

When I was 8 I was obsessed with Disney’s Aladdin. Not just the original movie, but both of it’s poorly made sequels too. I watched them everyday after school while I drew pictures in our basement TV room, simultaneously fixated on their adventures and creating my own on paper.

I remember being absolutely in awe of how handsome Aladdin was, but also of the beauty of Princess Jasmine. They were the most attractive people I could ever imagine existing.

When I was 10 my mom gave me an American Girl book all about puberty and the female body. I only read through the whole thing once, but I left it close to my bed because of the one page I looked at nearly everyday.

It was one of the sections of the book on bodily changes throughout puberty– body hair, periods, etc. At the bottom of was a picture of several girls in front of a mirror, completely naked, to illustrate the different sizes and shapes of breasts. I was absolutely fascinated by these girls: the soft curves of their hips, their round and full breasts, the way their thighs came together. Despite their cartoonish nature, this was the closest I’d come to seeing a grown girl’s body. It was foreign and beautiful to me.

Somehow, I knew this wasn’t normal, so I always hid the book after I was done in case mom asked why I still had it.

When I was 12 I found my self distracted in classroom discussion circles looking at girls chests and lips and thighs. Every time I caught myself I’d immediately look down at my lap and blush. I’d learned by now that it wasn’t normal for girls to look at other girls like that, what it meant to be gay. But I’d eventually find my eyes wandering again, my thoughts focused on how beautiful one of my female classmates was.

I remember walking down the hallway one day mentally reciting “you can’t be a lesbian, you like boys… every girl must look at each other like this.”

When I was 13 one of the girls that I clung to during PE (because they were just as repulsed by physical exertion as I was) told us she was bisexual. This was the first time I’d been told someone could be attracted to boys and girls at the same time. It was confusing and enlightening at the same time.

I remember she put her arms around my shoulders once, during badminton week, her face inches from mine. It made me nervous, but in a way that I’d never felt before. My stomach had dropped, and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like the fear I’d felt from scary movies and my dad yelling at me, but it wasn’t quite like when I felt exhilarated from riding a rollercoaster or binging on sugar with my friends… it was something in between, and entirely new.

I’d told my mom about it and she immediately wanted to call the principal and make sure the girl didn’t touch me like that again. That scared me, her reacting like that. I started acting repulsed by the girl afterwards, telling my friends she had flirted with me even though I wasn’t entirely sure she had, how weird it was and how weird she was.

Looking back, I probably wish that she had been flirting with me.

When I was 14 I was acquainted with the first queer couple I’d ever met. They were in theatre with me, and I’d been wanting them to start dating for months. At this point I’d stopped acting weirded out by gay people and claiming that bisexual people were “selfish and should just pick a side already.” I openly showed my support for gay people, citing my theatre friends of examples of how “normal” they could be.

I walked in on the couple in the dressing room one rehearsal, shocked to see them making out. I stood in the doorway a moment, then walked out without either of them seeing me.

I thought about their kiss for the whole day, wondering how their relationship worked, what it was like to date someone of the same gender as you. I was dating a boy at the time, my first boyfriend and the one that would create fear and an inability to trust for my entire high school career when he started abusing me. I wondered if this couple’s relationship could be anything like ours.

When I was 15 I joined Tumblr. I’d just moved from Michigan to Alabama, had my heart broken by my abusive boyfriend furthering the pain he was inflicting by cheating on me, and was just beginning to realize that I had an eating disorder with no idea how to feel about it or whether or not I wanted it to go away.Tumblr became a place for me to escape all this into “fandoms” and “fitblrs” and personal posts from strangers I didn’t know but whose lives intrigued me. It was on Tumblr that I first encountered the word “pansexual.” I was 16.

I was intrigued and slightly obsessed with the concept of it, pansexuality. I’d only just begun to learn about transgender and heard rumors of other genders outside of men and women, and being attracted to all of them or being “genderblind” seemed impossible, but incredible. I spent months randomly researching sexual orientation and transgender people before finally adopting the term as my own.

Though, it was only in my head that I claimed pansexuality as my own. I didn’t want to tell anyone… not because I was ashamed so much, I’d forgotten that stigma several years ago, but more because I was afraid that I only wanted to be pansexual, not that I actually was.

After all, if only ever been in relationships with boys at that point. How could I know if I was actually attracted to other genders if I’d never dated them?

When I was 17 I got my first crush on a girl. I didn’t recognize that that was my motive at the time, but I was constantly staring at her in the two classes we shared, payed special attention when she spoke, and the day she announced that she had a Tumblr I made it my goal to be a part of her life.

By winter we were best friends. By summer I’d begun to realize the extent of my feelings for her. The first time I got drunk at 19 I blurted out that I thought about making out with her all the time. I told her how I felt at 20, 3 years of pining later.

She told me she didn’t feel the same.

When I was 18 and in my first year of college, I binge watched all of Laci Green’s videos on YouTube, deciding that it was time I figured out how my body and how sex worked. Through her I found not only the courage to masturbate for the first time, but my first confrontation with “third genders.”

I obsessively studied nonbinary genders, claiming to just be interested in them, giving speeches and presentations on them for class, messaging nonbinary people to ask about their experiences. I came to accept that I identified with this term the summer of my sophomore year of college.

When I was 18 I also came out to my dad. I’d already come out to my close friends, sisters, and mother at this point– all giving me generally positive responses. This was not the case with my dad.

We were fighting in the kitchen, something that had become a regular thing since I’d started expressing my feminist and liberal beliefs. He was making homophobic comments and I guess I must of have been very clearly upset by this, because he asked, “do you have a problem with that?”

To which I responded, “Yeah, because I like girls, dad!”

My outburst led to two and a half years of him telling me that my identity was fake, a scheme to get attention, that all I believed was a result of my being brainwashed at college and my own self delusion. The full force my panic, bipolar disorder, and depression came out during this time. The first time I thought of killing myself was when he threatened to kick me out and cut me off from my sisters if I didn’t stop with this “feminazi LGBT bullshit.”

When I was 19 I started dating one of my best friend from high school– a boy, but pansexual like myself, I felt like this was the first queer relationship I’d been in.

He told me he didn’t want a monogamous relationship, that he identified as polyamorous– which I knew because this was one of the reasons his last relationships hadn’t worked out. Thinking I wouldn’t fall as desperately in love with him as I did, I agreed to an open relationship.

Two months into the relationship and much research and self reflection later, I’d come to accept that I was also polyamorous and I never wanted a monogamous relationship again.

When I was 20 a girl on Tumblr reblogged a set of selfies that I’d posted, exclaiming in the tags about how handsome I was. I took one look at her blog, saw the profile picture of her staring directly at the camera with intense blue eyes and an expression impossible to read, and immediately followed and messaged her my thanks.

We started messaging frequently, talking about such expansive and random things, things I’d never talked about with anyone. Soon we were messaging everyday and I began to realize how hard I was falling. I wanted her, I wanted her so badly.

I hadn’t had a crush on a girl that’d worked out in my favor and I was constantly pining for a girlfriend. I loved my boyfriend, I was still attracted to men and non-feminine genders, but I felt not only “too straight” to be queer at that point, but also like I was missing some sort of affection in my life that only a feminine partner could fill. And I was beginning to wonder if this girl was the person who could finally end my wanting.

The only problem with this girl was that she lived an ocean away from me, in Denmark to be specific. But my feelings became so strong that I couldn’t just be silent anymore: I told her I liked her.

She said she felt the same.

Today, March 2nd, 2017, Hayley Kiyoko released the music video for her single “Sleepover.” It wrecked me.

Hayley has become someone that I not only admire, but someone who makes me feel so validated in who I am. A mixed, Japanese American, queer girl in love with art and comfy clothing. Before Hayley, I’d never felt like there was anyone in the media who was even remotely like me. With great music and a connection I’d never felt in any other celebrity before, I became an avid fan. So naturally, when the video for “Sleepover” was released it only took me minutes to find it on YouTube and watch.

The music video was so much more than I could have anticipated, actualizing all my experiences as a queer feminine person, admiring from a far, living in my head with my fantasies and no hope of ever being able to experience them in reality. With this video I was thrown back into all the years I spent confused and afraid of how I felt and who I was, all the girls I wanted to be with but knew they couldn’t work out, or didn’t work out even when I tried. And as melancholy as these thoughts were at first, it pushed me to the realization:

I love who I’ve become. I love that I’m queer.

And despite how grueling the process of it all has been, I wouldn’t trade all that heartache for a normal life if I could. I wouldn’t give it all up to be the straight girl with no struggles or worries about who she loved as I once believed I would. Even with the pain that it had brought, becoming queer has made me the person I am today.

And I love that person, even if there are still rough edges to be smoothed, I am finally unafraid of who I am.

Who Are Your Sugar Sisters? (And How to Find Some if You Don’t Have Any)

Do you remember what it felt like? That first message you received or sent to another sugar baby that you wanted to connect with? Do you remember the feelings of being nervous and excited that someone you admired wanted to talk to you? Someone that was making strides in the bowl or was just on the verge of it was interested in being friends with you. Do you remember rewriting your message and wondering whether it made you sound like a dork? Did you have to tell yourself to be cool the way I did? 

Do you remember when the conversation stopped feeling stilted and awkward? Do you remember your first inside joke? The first time you met in person? How good it felt after that first meeting that they weren’t a weirdo? Do you remember the moment you realized that you weren’t just sugar sisters you were sister-friends?

Do you remember how it felt to hang out with them? To talk and know you weren’t going to have to apologize or explain? They were just going to have your back. They were going to root you on, prop you up, guide you when they could? Do you remember the relief?

My sugar sisters are @lustington and @brownstatuesquesugarbaby They have each been in my life for at least two years now but have become so much a part of my daily habits that I cannot imagine life without them or before them. We have traded tips and advice, joys and sorrows, ups and downs, great outfits (them) and times when we looked a busted ass mess (me). They are core parts of who I am, and I repeat: I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I never met them. 

I don’t just say that because they are amazing but because conversations with them and the relationships that I have built with them inspired the characters in The New Money Girls. Delia and Zion came alive for me when I was writing the book because while they are not @lustington and @brownstatuesquesugarbaby exactly sometimes Delia and Zion will open their mouths and my sugar sisters will speak. 

That feeling of sisterhood was important to me. It was more important than writing a book about glamour, sex, men, romance, or love. I love the way black women love each other. I love how we are ride or die for each other before we acknowledge a man, especially in the sugar community. We, as black women, routinely save each other’s lives in ways that we don’t always recognize. 

I want you to have sugar sisters if you don’t have them already, so I’ve put together some things for you to consider to build your own New Money Girls crew.

  1. Get yourself ready first. Clean up your room before you invite friends over. Maybe your mother didn’t say that to you, but mine sure did say it to me. Get your shit together before you go looking for friends. Does your blog say anything about you as a person or a sugar baby or is it a collection of reblogged posts? Can I vet you? Can I see you grow in your sugar journey or will I walk away wondering if I’m being catfished? Even if you don’t write posts as long or as detailed as mine write something. Do it for two reasons. 1-You’ll want a record of your journey. 2-We need you. This is a community. We need to know we aren’t alone. We need to know that someone goes through what we go through and has experienced what we experienced. I started this blog because I was looking for someone who could admit they were still trying to figure it out. I couldn’t find it, so I became it. So many of you have approached me since then to thank me for saying what you needed to hear. But the thanks goes to you. It was such a blessing to know I wasn’t alone, that even if I messed up my mistakes would help someone. Post to the brown sugar baby tag. Let us know you exist. You won’t feel alone anymore and neither will we.
  2. Know what it is to be a friend. To get a friend you have to be a friend. If all you want is someone that will give you advice and read entire essays of your complaints and gripes with the sugar bowl, then you don’t want a friend. You want free advice and therapy. No one owes you that. If you have a question, ask it. If you want to be a friend, provide support. Let that person know that you aren’t there to leech from them. Ask them how their day is. Let them know you appreciate them by messaging them and telling them how special something they said or did was to you. Just tell them you’re thinking about them and hope things are going well. I got a few messages from people when I wasn’t on Tumblr from women who just wanted to make sure I was okay. That meant so much to me. Those are the women that message me and always get replies. I know they aren’t just here to take. They give. That makes me feel valued and appreciated and makes me want to return those feelings to them.
  3. Remember you’re a stranger. I didn’t get either of my sugar sisters’ actual phone numbers until we knew each other for months and built a solid friendship. I didn’t know what @brownstatuesquesugarbaby looked like or her real name until I met her in August after knowing her for two years. That didn’t bother me. This is the internet, and until we’re friends, we’re strangers. We don’t know who is actually behind these accounts. It could be a brown sugar baby. It could be a bored middle-aged white man. We have to be careful so don’t get upset if people protect their privacy until they get to know you better. They have that right, and I hope you’re also exercising the same level of caution. A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t want a sugar daddy to find out whatever it is about you (address, real name, job, familial information, vanilla social media) don’t demand that a sugar sister give it to you. 
  4. Remember they’re human. Sometimes life happens. Sometimes we get so busy that we can’t respond to a message right away. I can admit that I’m guilty of this right now. I’m currently trying to write three novels and publish another and work a vanilla job and make sure I’m healthy and sane. I don’t have a lot of time. I don’t get a lot of sleep anymore. My life is fueled by cheap coffee and editing software. But I see every message. I will respond to every message that I can when I can. Don’t get anxious, angry, or accusatory if someone doesn’t respond to your message right away. It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t want to speak to you or think you’re a bother or that they’re stuck up. Sometimes even when we want friends, we don’t have the time to make them.
  5. Don’t be afraid to message again. One of my favorite things about @lustington is that even if I don’t reply to a text right away, she will keep texting me. She has something to say dammit, and you’re going to get these texts. She has been like this since she first messaged me on Tumblr. She understood that I might be busy but that I wanted to talk to her. She was never afraid to reach out again, so I never forgot her. If you message someone and a few days or weeks have gone by don’t be afraid to reach out again. Say hello again. Tell them that you loved a post. Ask if they saw that interesting post that made you think of them. Like I said, we’re all human, and sometimes life gets in our way.
  6. Let things happen naturally. On the one hand, you shouldn’t be afraid to reach out again. On the other hand, don’t be a weirdo. Don’t pressure people into doing things they aren’t comfortable with or pretending to have a relationship with you that doesn’t actually exist. Trust takes time to build. That feeling of intimacy takes time to build. Don’t rush it. If that sugar baby is supposed to be your friend, no matter how many false starts or time between messages, she will be your friend. @lustington and I met a year after we first began messaging online, @brownstatuesquesugarbaby and I met two years after. Meeting both of them felt natural and exciting instead of nerve-wracking and awkward because they were already my good friends. I didn’t have to worry about whether they would like me because they already knew me. Don’t rush. 
  7. Be honest. If you aren’t looking for sugar sisters or don’t think a sugar baby is right for you say so. Don’t lead people on or play with their emotions or time. Be honest. Each of you can then find people that are the best possible fits for you. 

I hope this helps, sis. I hope you look up six months from now and realize you have your own crew of New Money Girls and they change your life the way @lustington and @brownstatuesquesugarbaby have changed my life. The way Delia, Zion, O’Shea, and Nadia change each other’s lives. I’d also like to use this as a shameless plug to reach out to a few women that have messaged me or caught my attention as I roll through these Tumblr streets: @onikaahonee @saaint-sugar @thotinda6ix @locd-nubianqueen  @baroquebrownsugarbaby @afrolatinasugar @chanelsugababy @nycsb @brainybrownsugar and there’s also a brown sb that lives in the midwest that I messaged a few months ago maybe about a post she had about a condom that got stuck in an…interesting place that made me convulse with laughter. You’ve been on my mind for WEEKS now, but I can’t remember your username to save my life. Put yourself on this list, too. If you’re on this list, it’s because you’ve messaged me and either said something so profound, intelligent, caring, supportive or funny that I’ve thought “that girl should be my friend, ” but I’m too awkward/busy/forgetful to reach out to you to make that happen. If you find yourself with a moment and want to be friends too, please message me. I promise I won’t fuck it up or at least I’ll try not to. 

If I haven’t mentioned you, but you’ve messaged me, please understand I’m not slighting you. I love you too sis. Every black ass thing about you. I just haven’t read your message yet (remember how I said my life was in a shambles?). Reach out to me again. Help me be accountable to, and for the amazing friendship, we’re going to have in the future. 

Remember this is our sugar bowl. This is our community. We can be tight-knit, loving and supportive the way my New Money Girls are. We just have to build it. We just have to love each other. If there’s a sugar baby that you want to be friends with message her or mention her in the comments (I hope you do this so I can root for your future sugar sisterships). Let’s love on each other. Let’s push each other to succeed.

I said it already, but I’ll say it again. I love you, sis. Every single thing about you. I can’t wait until we’re friends. 

A/N: This post was written posthumously, since this photo killed me obviously.
Also on: AO3.

xxx

“Hey.”

“Hey, stranger.”

“Sorry I haven’t come by sooner, I was…”

“Busy fending off a throng of reporters and being a full-time parent?”

“Yeah.” Oliver huffs a short laugh, stealing a shy glance at the ground, as all the weight of the day visibly slips from his shoulders. She likes him like this, more innocent and carefree, where it’s no longer Mayor Queen or the Green Arrow or more recently a worried Dad standing in front of her…it’s just him. Just Oliver. Just her Oliver.

“I won’t hold it against you. Come on in.”

She holds the door open for him as he steps inside, his arm carefully dodging her shoulder, but that doesn’t stop a thousand goosebumps from breaking out over her skin in anticipation. As she shuts the front door, Felicity steals a quick glance of her own at his back because wow. While she loves Suit Oliver in all of his various…well, suits, it has been ages since she’s seen Casual Oliver. And honestly, seeing him standing there in full-on casual black and that jacket that she swears is framing his jaw really well, looking so at ease in her apartment…what used to be their apartment…it’s bringing back a lot of old memories mixed with new, tingling hopes stirring in her stomach.

Oliver spins to regard her in return, wearing a strangely nervous look. It’s then that she notices the small box with a white bow in his hands. “I uh…I was gonna wait, but I just…” He sighs, pausing, watching her like he’s waiting for her to stop him. And when she doesn’t, he finally says, “I brought you something,” holding the box out to her.

“Oh. What’s this?” She takes the box from him, wanting to reach for his hand, too, but he pulls back before she can.

“It’s just a uh…a present.”

“I can see that. You know, it’s not my birthday for another several months,” she teases him with a smile.

He doesn’t quite smile back, but there’s a hint of mischief behind his eyes now. “I know. This is different.”

Felicity frowns at his serious voice, watching him cross his arms. Uh oh. She knows that move. He only does this when it’s something big, something important. “Okay.”

She hesitates, her fingers hovering over the lid, playing with the plastic bow. Her heart starts to hammer against the walls of her chest with a new ferocity, like it somehow already knows what’s inside.

Swallowing once, she finally lifts the lid and finds nestled on top of a cotton square…a silver key.

“It’s a key,” supplies Oliver, his voice sounding very far away and warped, like she’s suddenly trapped inside a fish bowl.

Felicity stares in awe at the little object shimmering in the dim lighting, calling out to her. Slowly, she picks up the key, feeling the cool, wonderful weight of her future pressed against her palm.

“I know we’ve talked about it, and you’ve met William, and he seems to really like you. And this doesn’t mean that you have to move out of your place or anything, I just think…”

His voice sounds much closer now, and she glances up to realize that he’s standing right in front of her, his hands finally reaching out to hold her shoulders, drawing her closer, drawing her home.

He licks his lips. “And if this is too fast then–”

“Oliver, are you sure?”

He sighs again, only this time it’s a gentler sigh, a contented sigh, a hopeful sigh. His gaze grows intense yet familiar, and oh she’s missed that look most of all. Even after five months of taking things slow, after being engaged to this man once, she’s still getting used to him looking at her like this–like she’s the only thing in the entire world that he wants. She’ll never be used to it. She couldn’t look away from him even if she wanted to. And she doesn’t want to.

“I’m sure of one thing,” he says, his voice so deep it sends a warm feeling straight down her gut. “I love you, and I want us to be a family. All of us.”

“Me too.”

Trapping the key in a fist, Felicity reaches for Oliver just as he lowers his head down to her. Thank you, she says through the kiss, her lips gently pressed against his, re-familiarizing herself with his taste. But Oliver changes the angle quickly, deepening the kiss, his hands coming up and around her, pulling her close, his fingers pressing deep into the muscles of her lower back.

Felicity feels herself losing focus, her grip around his neck loosening…. She fumbles in the haze but manages to set the little box down on the counter, freeing her other hand to join the one still tightly clasped behind his neck. Her fingers sweep into his hair brushing against his scalp.

Seconds seem to bleed into minutes, and she doesn’t know how long they stand there like that, holding each other, remembering and relearning and learning afresh what the other person feels like…

A loud clang startles her, and Oliver pulls back, breaking the kiss, though she doesn’t let him go too far.

Realizing she must have dropped the key, Felicity breathes against his open lips, “It’s fine. I’ll get it later.”

And then she kisses him again, openly, fiercely, desperately. This kiss is different than the one before, taking on a life of its own, like the one they shared in this very spot years ago, when they first moved in together. It feels right that they should find each other again in this way. Felicity clings to him, his body still so warm and solid and familiar. How is he always so warm?

After what feels like too brief a time, though, Oliver pulls back again, breathing heavily. He keeps his eyes closed, as he presses his forehead against hers. “Felicity,” he whispers. “Can I ask you a question?”

“If the question is can you stay the night, the answer is yes.”

He laughs, giving her a short and more chaste kiss. “Are you sure?”

She nods. 

“Besides,” Felicity nips his lips again. “I don’t expect to be staying here much in the future. We better make the most of it.”

Lights, Camera, Action! (M)

word count: 4.7k

genre: smut; movie star AU + actor!hoseok

pairing: reader/hoseok

summary: you were just a small town actress who’d been picked up for a big movie starring you and award winning actor shin hoseok. turns out, there’s quite a steamy scene that you two must take part in and you’re more than nervous about it. luckily, hoseok is a professional and he isn’t afraid to help you out.

dedicated to: my valentine, @wonholypeach​ who isn’t feeling well after her surgery and needed a pick-me-up. enjoy and please get well soon love!  ♡

a/n: just a disclaimer i did minimal research on actual movie sex scenes & have very limited knowledge on this so this is definitely not realistic.

masterlist

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Behind These Walls | Jungkook

Scenario: You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all of my cheerios
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 4,044
Author’s Note: I wrote a majority of this story during my classes on the back of worksheets and scraps; because let’s be honest, Jungkook is way more interesting than any psychology lecture

.

When you first meet Jeon Jungkook, you aren’t entirely sure if you like him or not.

But, then again, it could be because the pair of you had met under extremely unusual circumstances—the unfolding of an awkward introduction that had been partially your fault.

Okay, maybe it had been mostly your fault.

But, in your defense, it isn’t everyday you enter the apartment belonging to your best friend and throw yourself upon the couch, only to find that it is already occupied by a strange figure—one that is much too tall and lanky to be a certain Kim Taehyung.

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From Afar {Part 2}

Originally posted by parkrpeters

part 1 

send your requests here! 

word count: 1224 

pairings: peter parker x reader 

warnings: there’s so much fluff you might d.I.E

a/n: i’m sorry this took so long to post guys!! i know a lot of you have been asking for it, so it picks up where part 1 left off! thank you SO MUCH to everyone who gave this fic some MAJOR love, it literally means everything to me!! 

tagging: @tronnoristheotp @nedthegay @i-saved-me @theweirdowithablogo @skymoonandstardust @timemngmtoptimisationproblems @thumper-darling @holywinchesterness @leorai-lemony-lewa 


You tapped your pen restlessly against the open textbook in front of you, your foot bouncing nervously under the table. Were you too early? Was he going to think it was weird you got here early? You had only snagged the tiny table in the corner by the window just twenty minutes ago, checking your watch. You both agreed on three o’clock, and it was now 3:15.

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i don’t usually make things about ships on this blog, despite the fact gryles is the blood in my veins, but i decided since this blog isn’t actually a daily news blog, or an update blog for nick, it’s just a blog that is only all about nick so i can post what i want. so here’s forty-two (42) gryles fics you should read.


picked undone, and again by biggerthanthesun
words: 37,389 / side: daisy/harry

“I need you to know that I… I want you all the time. Me wanting you and us doing this,” Nick says. “We’ve been weirdly steady for two people who aren’t even dating and I still want you more than ever, you know? I’m not even tired of it, I’m not even tired of you. You’re like a constant thing for me, I’m afraid I’m a bit mad about you.”

The one where they’re not boyfriends. Where Nick’s mad for Harry. And Harry was mad for Nick. Until he wasn’t anymore. (Canon-compliant).

at the gates by ymorton
words: 33,707 / side: omc/omc

“I feel I already know you,” he says, laughing.

Harry looks at him, surprised. Nick feels it too?

(gryles, reincarnated)

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Made For You

author: chrevastan
summary: Bucky recounts being smitten with his regular customer at the coffee shop he owns
characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader Barista!Bucky AU
word count: 1950
warnings: none
insp: The story is roughly based on this Ask an anon sent to @bucky-plums-barnes
A/N: for Steph @buchonians. To my other readers, I swear the next fic I post will be a Steve one I just couldn’t help writing this u g h

Originally posted by kareligomleeek


What’s the most beautiful sight you’ve ever had the privilege to behold?

Is it the empty spaces of your newly purchased home, or the image of your kid playing with your dog that’s twice their size, or the eyes of a loved one looking back at yours like you were the center of their universe? Maybe it was something as simple as the city lights glistening in the night, the first snowfall of the year, or the flowers that blossomed in the spring. Beautiful, beautiful images of life.

None of these are mine, but I’m glad to say that I had the privilege of reliving my favorite moment nearly every single day, more precisely when the clock read past ten o’clock at my shop.

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Admiration || t.h

Summary: In which Tom can’t help but admire how beautiful you are, causing him to freeze up at the worst possible moment.

Words: 1659

Warnings: just fluff :)))

Comments: Welp, since you guys literally died because of “How to Break a Heart,” I thought I’d post some fluff today. Enjoy ;)

*******

He thinks you’re the most beautiful thing in the world.

He doesn’t care how many times he’s said it - though, you’re sure it’s more than necessary - as he has these hopes that you’ll see just how beautiful you are. It wasn’t a simple you’re absolutely stunning that left him satisfied - no.

That wasn’t enough to show your beauty.

He’s sure he’s seen all of you - every flaw hidden, every corner you’ve left unseen and every word you’ve never said - he knows you like the back of his hand, and he’d surely take any chance to treat you like some kind of queen. You weren’t perfect, he knew that much.

But you were as close to it as he could get.

It didn’t matter that you had a few flaws here and there - loose strings that were never attached, broken thoughts that were only trampled by demons - because who didn’t?

He saw you as you were and he knew it was okay to be imperfect.

But you always seemed to find a way to contradict his comments.

You’re beautiful.

Tom, you have to say that. You’re my boyfriend.

He doesn’t understand why you don’t see it. Why you’re so blinded by your insecurities that you can’t see the beauty behind them- the beauty behind you. You’re no work of art - maybe too frayed at the edges, too many broken pieces scattered across your skin - but you’re his entire world and he’d be sure to show you off as his own little masterpiece.

Sometimes he looks into your eyes - he’s said he could stare at them for days, but you’ve surely never given him enough time to prove it - and he’s not sure how he lucked out with you. There were so many people just waiting at the tip of your finger nails, but you chose the boy far beyond the line of available suitors. He knows he doesn’t deserve you, but he’s selfish and he needs you - he craves you - and he’d be a fool to let a miracle slip from his lips.

You’re the most beautiful, precious thing in his life and he’d spend forever to show you how much you’re worth.

~~

He remembers a time when you weren’t his first priority.

He’d walk about the streets, lips shadowing a soft smile as he walks a life that was so -

So dull.

He remembers when didn’t have much to look forward to when he’d open the door to his apartment. Shadows hiding the loneliness that was stuck behind the walls of his thoughts, darkness begging to come out of the cracks of his soul. He lived a life of never waiting - never wanting - for a girl to walk into his life.

He lead himself to believe he was content with his life.

The day to day routine of morning walks and silents evenings; always settling for what he could scavenge, never asking for more; living a life of mundane and never complaining once.

He lived a life of absolute solitude.

But when he met you - when his eyes met the brightness of yours, when his hand touched your skin for the first time - oh god, he knew he couldn’t go back to his old life.

Not when you were an adventure waiting to be lived.

He heard it in the way you spoke - You’re too normal for your own good, Tom - in the way your hands tugged his, eyes shadowing mischief in contrast to the face of an innocent girl. He heard everything you didn’t in between the words you never said. He learned to read you like his favourite book; something he couldn’t put down - something he could never get tired of.

But, like every star shining high above the sky, you were too far up for him to reach.

He had you under the weight of his arms, ears filling with the soothing sound of your soft rambles, hands intertwined as his lips are placed on yours.

But, at times - at times he never feels like he has you. Like he couldn’t say enough to show you that you were a star he couldn’t reach. That you were on more than a high on life - that you were life itself, years spent building up to what and who you were today.

In a way, he felt like he failed you.

He couldn’t help you see that the scars and scratches and bruises and imperfections scattered across your skin were beautiful. That you were amazing in your entirety even if pieces of you were missing and gosh, he wants to fill those gaps with his own imperfections just to show you you’re not the only one, you’re not the only one.

But no matter what he does, you can’t see, you won’t listen. He needs you to understand, he needs you to see you.

Not the someone you see in the mirror that you despise with every fibre of your being; no. The girl he sees, the girl he admires.

He needs you to see - he just doesn’t know how.

Not yet.

~~

He finally had his mind set.

It took him so long to finally bust up the courage, palms sweating as he looks at you through the window of your shared apartment, your smile reaching his as you let him in. He can’t reach your eyes, not when they would give everything away.

He’s a sweating mess at the sight of you, fumbling with his words as he tries to reach your eyes, “I-I missed you.”

He shakes his head at how lame he must sounds, but it’s the truth and he has no other way of saying it because in the those words alone, he says everything he’s been begging to while away. He’s a nervous wreck, but he finally realized this is what he needed to do to show you what you’re worth; what you were to him - what you are to him.

The small box weighs him down as it sits in his pocket.

A ring. Something to seal the love he gave you - savour the taste of your lips, the feeling of your body pressed against his as he holds you in his arms - I love you, I love you. It was a way to say everything he could never before, but now that it’s here - now that it’s staring him right in the face - he’s a flustered mess of scrambled sentences and broken thoughts and he just wants to get this right.

He doesn’t want to fail you, not anymore.

Carefully, he takes your hand in his, slowly leading you towards the dinner you so thankfully set up. He’s not sure what’s he’s going to say. Tom was never one to plan, but for this - for this he didn’t want to. He wanted the words to pour from his mouth, light banter until it finally came. Till he finally took you and made you his.

“You’re beautiful, you know that right?”

He decides the best way to start is to compliment you, teeth gnawing down on his lip as he awaits your answer.

“I… Thank you, Tom.” Your mouth holds a sweet smile, eyes meeting the ones of the boy across from you.

Suddenly, he loses his trail of thought, instead lost in the light of your eyes. He soon becomes a boy stuck in a maze he surely didn’t want to get found in, all words escaping his lips as silent fills the air around you both, neither of you knowing what to say, but enjoying the peace all the same.

“I have something to a-ask you…” He trails off, eyes flying to the floor.

He doesn’t know what he’s going to say.

He wishes it would all flow out, but with you, nothing was enough to say how much he loved you. His whole world was you, your happiness was taken as his own, the feeling of your touch on his skin sending electricity to run in his veins. He feels it in the way his stomach almost drops at your very presence, and he doesn’t understand what you do to him, but he knows it’s okay. Because everything from your touch to your words seep love and he’d be a fool to let such a beautiful dream slip from his fingertips.

He can’t lose you. Not when you don’t understand the depth of his love; the extremes he’d go through just for you.

He hopes with all of his heart you’d do the same.

“I… I’m not very good with words,” he starts, lips holding a crooked smile, “So I’m just going to start with this: You’re love to me. The definition, the image, the feeling of love and I can’t see anyone else being that. You’re it. You’re my world, and I know you don’t see how precious or beautiful you are to me, but I swear I will spend my whole life trying to help you to. Your insecurities are nothing but perfect imperfections that make up the girl I love and I just can’t see myself with anyone else. I just - I love you. Will you please do me the honour of becoming my w-wife?”

Silence.

He’s scared for a minute, mentally lecturing himself on what he had just done - that had to be the most awkward proposal in history - mind racing as the seconds go by. You don’t say anything, shocked as tears pour from your eyes. You don’t how to respond honestly, the only action being the nodding of your head as your arms wrap around neck. He’s taken aback at first, before he wraps his arms around your waist, pressing a small kiss to your hair.

“Thank you.” It’s the last thing he whispers before his lips are captured in yours

He didn’t care what happened after this moment; he just cared that you’d be there the whole way through.

anonymous asked:

I was just thinking this would be a funny concept if you'd like to explore it: Niall realizes he's dating the female version of Harry. Like he suddenly realizes Harry and his SO have a ton in common personality-wise and it freaks him out for a minute

I was late.  I hated being late.  I was anal-retentive about a lot of things.  No one could touch my closet, I had a certain way things should be in the kitchen and I was never, ever late.  She and I were leaving for Las Vegas this afternoon.  I was supposed to be performing at the iHeartmusic Festival which was already nerve wracking enough for me, but we were also going to be meeting two out of three of my bandmates.  I think I might’ve been more nervous than she was.  She and Harry would get along fine, she and Louis?  Well, it could go either way.

We’d been dating for a year.  The best year of my life along with the year after we’d signed our first record deal.  I was in love.  Desperately.  I was gonna marry this girl.

I ran through the front door,

“Angel!!”  I called out as the door slammed behind me.  I took the stairs two at a time before stopping halfway up them when a pungent odor invaded my nostrils. 

What the…

It smelled like garbage.

And feet.

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The Preschool Teacher - Chapter One

And the winner is…..

The Preschool Teacher! Yes, you voted and, with 36.5% of the vote, this is the next chaptered story! If this is not the story you wanted and you did not vote…vote next time. :) If you did vote for a different prompt, I am keeping the results and that is the order I will write future chaptered stories in, unless a new idea pops into this head of mine first.

All of the prompts I gave you to vote on were from novel imagines I’ve already written or started. This one I created in March and have yet to finish, although I story-mapped it a few days ago to keep me on track.

My inspiration for this story was a voice…the voice of Harry’s son. I kept hearing it in my head, and actually searched for two hours to figure out where I had heard it, because I knew it was the voice of Harry’s son in my head. I’ve pinned it down to being similar to the voice of Peppa Pig (the young Harley Bird, when her voice was still scratchy and raspy and she talked a bit slow like Harry does sometimes)…don’t judge me, I work with young children for a living. If you want to hear the voice before you read the story, youtube Harley or Peppa when she was younger (Harley is 15 now), and listen. That was my inspiration for the entire novel.

I have had huge anxiety about posting another chaptered story! This chapter has been finished for a couple of days, but I’ve had to continually convince myself to post it. I’m nervous, I think because For The Love Of Harry did so well, maybe you won’t like another chaptered story I write. Beginning chapters can sometimes be more informative, but I hope I don’t bore you in the build-up.

So, without further delay, I hope you enjoy this first chapter of “The Preschool Teacher”! If you do, please like and reblog, and I promise to have chapter two available very soon!

Much love to you all! xo

Shelli

************************

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anonymous asked:

//whispering let it get out of hand

(referencing this post)

THANKS FOR ENABLING ME ANON BECAUSE NOW I GET TO TALK ABOUT AN AU I CRAFTED IN 20 MINUTES

SEE MICHAEL ISN’T ACTUALLY A SPY!! i like to think he was recruited as a handler after hacking into university files and erasing student loans. he became a bit of a name on the deep web, successfully stealing shitloads of money and distributing it cleverly over various charities, never getting caught. well. almost. 

director Jenna Rolan basically breaks into his shitty apartment flanked by two scary looking beautiful individuals (aka agents Jake and Brooke). apparently he’s been put on a hitlist for being a high profile goodie goodie, and she offers him protection on the condition that he start working for them. Michael, not in the mood to die and kinda in the mood to being an awesome Q, accepts.

so he gets accepted under the handler division of the organization led by Chloe, and he does incredible work alongside other fellow handler Rich and weapons expert/lead equipment engineer Christine. he does a fantastic job yelling in brooke and jake’s ears about what to do while simultaneously hacking into cctv cameras and encrypted connections to keep his agents alive. no, michael didnt expect that hed end up with this job, but he helps put the bad guys behind bars and he does his job WELL.

ENTER JEREMY HEERE. the only son of a wealthy but evil woman looking to sell state secrets/nuclear launch codes/[insert evil thing] to the highest bidder.  suspecting that jeremy might have important intel, they convene at a dinner/auction/[insert thing rich people go to in spy movies]. michael is in a van outside with at least eight screens while brooke and jake are decked out in fancy clothes, shmoozing their way through rich people, until finally, they find jeremy.

it’s a classic honeypot maneuver, simple and straight to the point. or so they thought, because Brooke goes in for the kill only to get stammers and apologies. prepared for this possibility, they send in Jake who michael would gladly sleep with if rich wouldnt kill him, but Jake is turned down.

(“Think he’s ace? Does he ping on your acedar?” Michael asks Christine as he frantically hacks into CCTV, keeping an eye on Jeremy while Brooke and Jake figure out another gameplan.

“Acedar?” Christine says, unimpressed. “He could be. But, do you want my honest, professional opinion?”

“Go for it, Chris,” Chloe says, also on the line. “If we lose him tonight, that’s another month of nothing. Any opinions at this point are essential.”

“He seems–nervous,” Christine says. On Michael’s screen, he sees Jeremy by an extravagant potted plant downing flutes of champagne like it’s nobody’s business. “You know how Brooke and Jake are beautiful but a little intimidating? Yeah. I think he’s nervous.”

“We need this intel now,” Jenna sighs. “Do we have any beautiful, non intimidating agents who can take one for the team?” 

“I have–” Rich says. “An Idea.”)

which ends with Michael in a suit (”Why do we have this?? Why is it perfectly my size??” “You’re the one who always says to have at least seventy backup plans, M.”) tailing after Jeremy at a party thats more expensive than all the money Michael has stolen over the course of his life.

i dont want to go too much into this because then thatd mean id have to just buck up and write a fic, but by the time michael gets to jeremy, the poor kid is hammered. and a crying a little bit. they end up sitting on the floor of this fancy fancy bathroom while jeremy maybe pours his soul out to michael about how this always happens. he Knew brooke and jake were spies because this always happens. it’s always beautiful people who want to sleep with him not because he’s anything, but because his mom is gonna destroy the world. and he’s totally up for thwarting his mom!!! but his self esteem is just shit tonight and he couldnt take it and oh god, michael, im a bad person. im a bad person and i dont matter, really, and nobody would care at all. nobody.

(“Hey,” Michael says. His heart is breaking because Jeremy seems like an great guy stuck in a horrible life. “I’ve only known you for three hours, not including where I pulled up your entire existence from everything you’ve ever done on the internet, but. But I think you’re a good person. I care.”

“No you don’t,” Jeremy sniffles, head pillowed against Michael’s shoulder as he takes a swig from a bottle of champagne, though his nose wrinkles when he remembers that Michael had emptied it and replaced it with water. “You just want the intel. Which, you know what,” he fishes something out of his pocket. A USB. “Here. Take it. It’s what you guys are looking for and more. I’ve been compiling a record of every transaction my mother has made in the past year. Put her away, for fuck’s sake.”

“Shit,” Michael says. Everybody in his earpiece also says it. “Jeremy. Thank you.”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. “Time for you to go now. Go and save the world. Bye, bye.”

“Fuck that, do you have a phone?”)

and thus begins the friendship between jeremy and michael. so much more happens after this, but if i think about THAT. this will get so out of hand im going to need eight hands.

Canon Compliant Daisuga Fic Recs

For @volleygifs and her anon!

I’ve read all 35 of the fics on this list, and I highly recommend all of them. They’re all rated General-Mature, and are mostly one-shots.

Coming Out of the Cupboard (6.7k) (G) (dancingwithwings)

“He finds out later that the angel’s name is Sugawara Koushi and he isn’t really an angel after all: he cracks scandalous jokes and grins like the devil himself, and loves shrimp onigiri more than anything else in the world.

Daichi likes shrimp onigiri too, he decides, but not as much as he likes Sugawara Koushi.”

In which the infamous Karasuno storage cupboard helps to solve quite a few of Daichi’s problems, Suga being one of them.

Love and Other Dumb Emotions (1k) (G) (hobbit_hedgehog)

DaiSuga Week Day Three: Shy or Bold

Today’s the day. Today’s the day that Koushi is finally going to ask Daichi out. But why is he so nervous?

Maybe Memories (4.9k) (G) (hobbit_hedgehog)

DaiSuga Week Day Four: Past or Future

Daichi was hiding something, Koushi knew that much. He had been looking at Koushi funny all morning. For Daichi to be acting like this was highly suspect, but Koushi had a fairly good idea of what was going on. Daichi was keeping secrets, and Koushi didn’t care for that shit at all.

Root of the Root (33k) (T) (SedentaryZebra) (Tw: Institutionalized Homophobia)

When an extremely famous pop star comes out as gay the day before Suga’s third year of high school begins, he thinks the only impact on his life will be the extra chocolates he will need to buy to console his mother.

He’s wrong.

The real beauty (5.4k) (M) (Ellessey) @ellessey-writes

“You’re going to love this house, Daichi,” Koushi says. He tips his chin up, so the kisses Daichi has begun to press to the crook of his neck can keep traveling upwards. “You’re going to…wonder how you ever doubted me.”

“I never doubt you,” Daichi says.

“You think our house is ugly.”

Daichi’s soft exhalation just under Koushi’s ear sends a perfect shiver down his spine. “It is ugly,” he says. “But I already love it.”

Their first house needs a lot of work, but Koushi loves every moment of turning it into a home with Daichi.

Exception to the rule (4.5k) (T) (Mysecretfanmoments)

In which Sugawara Koushi just so happens to belong to the .001% of guys Daichi might conceivably fall for, and it takes a confused third party for Daichi to realize it.

boys (5k) (G) (buu)

Before, if Suga had been asked to pick a type, he would have hummed and thought it over, maybe said something vague like “nice eyes” or “nice legs” or “a good personality”. Now, he can only think “Daichi”.

Perfectionism (2.9k) (T) (Mysecretfanmoments)

“I just wish it was something you could practice before you have to… perform.” He narrows his eyes, imagining it. “Like a CPR class.”

Suga raises an eyebrow. “You want to practice it. Beforehand.”

“Yeah. Are you offering?”

((Daichi doesn’t like to be bad at things–kissing included–and Suga is willing to help him practice.))

we are teenage hearts (3.7k) (G) (Pyrahus)

Daichi one day realizes that he does indeed see Suga as more than a friend -after the entire team figured it out ages ago- and contemplates how to ask his vice-captain out, while having to deal with his unruly kouhai and Nekoma.

you’re good where you are (3.5k) (M) (Mysecretfanmoments)

Daichi’s legs look good in shorts.

It’s an unnecessary statement, like “trees are plants” or “the earth orbits the sun”, but it keeps on surprising Koushi just how good they look in shorts; he thanks his lucky stars every day for whatever it was that led Daichi to pick up volleyball when he was a kid.

((a day in the life of Sugawara Koushi))

i do (cherish you) (3k) (T) (gabstar)

The first time Daichi suggests it, it’s a joke.

“Sugawara Koushi,” he says solemnly. He’s bent on one knee, the floor is still sticky with sweat post-practice. He offers up the lost ring, found while mopping off gym floors. “Will you marry me?”

((Five times Daichi asks Suga to marry him, plus once where he finally, finally says yes.))

Flybys and Landings (2.9k) (T) (sterlinglee)

When Daichi’s behavior takes a turn for the strange, Suga attempts damage control because that’s what Suga does. He doesn’t know the full story, but in his defense, “your captain and best friend has decided he like-likes you” isn’t the first conclusion most people come to. There’s confusion, a little heartache, and certain things that fail to be said until it’s nearly too late. But they make it to the same destination in the end.

love is a battlefield (and there are always casualties in war) (3.9k) (T) (skittidyne)

Tanaka and Noya had crossed a line. It had involved copious amounts of Red Bull, water balloons, food dye, one of Ennoshita’s film plots, and bad ideas. Daichi, Asahi, and Yachi had been the unfortunate victims. He didn’t want to think about it. It was a miracle Yachi hadn’t run home, crying, and quit the club. (Daichi had felt like it. Asahi tearfully threatened Noya with it.)

“I need revenge,” Daichi announced on the way home from practice.

(( or: daichi and kiyoko fake-date to get back at tanaka and noya after a particularly bad prank; everyone can see the collateral damage except for them ))

you can only take what you can carry (4.2k) (T) (skittidyne)

Suga pulled Noya down from the chair. Daichi finally decided enough was enough. He knew he was just doing it to draw him in, and damn it, it worked (just like it always worked against him), because there was no way he was letting Suga get into one of Kuroo and Bokuto’s competitions.

Suga had their libero thrown over one shoulder by the time Daichi reached them. “Daichi-san! Look!” Noya chirped, waving the arm that wasn’t wrapped around the vice-captain.

Suga put up his free arm, flexing, and gave Daichi a wink.

(( or, alternatively: “do you even lift, bro?” ))

Kiss it Better, Captain (6k) (M) (utsu)

In which Koushi realizes that it’s okay to be human.

**(This is the one fic on the list that is untagged borderline E smut)

The Captain and his Vice (Series) (145k) (G-M) (Crollalanza)

Daisuga stories that follow the same canon. They’re not necessarily in timeline order as some span several years. and it’s not entirely necessary to read them in this order. The majority of my HQ stories follow the same canon, and will intercept at certain points. Enjoy.

**(Mature fics do get smutty, but they are tagged.)

winner in the whirlwind (7k) (T) (tothemoon)

In which Suga beats Daichi at games and the latter finds someone to cherish.

(Or, snippets of encouragement and care under the guise of foot races, mischievous bets, and late night sessions of Mario Kart.)

just tell me how to get it straightforward (635) (G) (astroturfwars)

They don’t need words. They never have. It’s always been just them, heart to heart and eye to eye, and Daichi is as convinced of that as he is of the anxious thrumming of his blood.

Or: Daichi isn’t so good at expressing himself, but that’s never really mattered for Suga.

pride (4.4k) (T) (owlinaminor)

Daichi knows that Hinata accidentally called him ‘Dad’ once, and Suga often teases him about parenting the first-years, but this is just ridiculous.

“I’m not your dad, I’m your captain!” Daichi protests.

The cheering only increases in volume. They’re probably disturbing anyone who’s still at the school – but then, it’s New Year’s Eve. Nobody is still at the school besides Daichi’s insane, ridiculous, wonderful team.

“Okay, fine,” he says at last, raising his hands in surrender. “I’m proud to be your dad.”

Pick a Number, Any Number (3.3k) (G) (fansofcollisions)

It’s hideous. Repulsive, even. It makes Daichi want to curl up into a pretzel of existential horror.

“I call him ‘Bear’,” says Suga, smiling fondly.

when all the songs are through (5.7k) (T) (thewindraiser)

Daichi is out for lunch with some of his colleagues when he spots it.

The ring.

Halfway Between (5.3k) (T) (Skylark)

“Even if we come back here, it won’t be the same…. Some things won’t change, though. We’ll still play volleyball. We’ll still be friends.”

Suga comes home in more ways than one.

Suspicious Pizza (1.2k) (T) (Pouler)

Daichi felt his heart skip a beat. Was this it? Was this the moment?

Oh… (318) (G) (myria_chan)

The first time Daiichi says his name in public. Does it have to be in front of Karasuno?

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond (5.2k) (T) (themorninglark)

Suga has learned to solve his problems, save for one.

It’s their graduation day, and he’s staring at it.

Burning (3.1k) (T) (DreadfulMind)

“Why do you have to make me look bad?”

Daichi scoffed, “yeah, like anyone could make you look bad,”

“Well when you’re showing off your muscles like that, the rest of us are left to look like twigs,” Suga tugged at the sleeves of Daichi’s t-shirt, which he had rolled up around his shoulders to cool his arms down.

“It’s hot, what do you expect?” he lightly slapped Suga’s hand away.

“For you to not be so hot,” Suga retorted easily.

They Call Me Captain Mom (4.7K) (T) (StormySteady)

Suga and Daichi make out in the gym’s supply closet. This decision proves exactly as injudicious as it sounds.

(Or, the story of that one time Daichi had to take over the role of “team mom” for a few minutes while a half-naked Suga just kinda hid in the corner and giggled)

you and your dusty radio, me and my two left feet (1.1k) (T) (raewrites)

Suga already has his fingers curled into the blanket, ready to bury himself back into the welcoming warmth of sleep when a thought suddenly crosses his mind.

‘It’s my birthday today.’

Sweatpants (3.5k) (T) (shady)

Daichi wears the same pair of gray sweatpants every time he spends the night, and they’re driving Suga insane.

Of Course (2k) (T) (ofperspicacity)

Daichi has been acting strange for a while, and Suga isn’t sure how to take it. The reason is the happiest kind of surprise.

Based on a section of “national hot dad alliance is now calling…”

First Snow (3.1k) (T) (Feelsripper)

Walking Suga home had started out as a joke between the two of them, until Daichi realized he sort of liked it way more than he should have.

Commit This to Memory (2k) (T) (shions_heart)

Daichi is in love with Suga. It just takes him a while to confess.

Mom And Dad No! (1.6k) (T) (imabignerd, kate882)

Suga and Daichi find out about the team calling them Mom and Dad behind their backs in an unfortunate way.

Look; it’s You and Me (1.4k) (T) (WildKitte)

How should he say this? That he listened to a sappy love song and got so wound up around it thinking Daichi that it became unbearable to be physically separated from him?

In which Suga listens to a song.

PDA (4.3k) (T) (Veto_power_over_clocks)

Someone’s leaving thimbles for (an increasingly confused) Suga. We all know how it’s going to end, but what matters is getting there, isn’t it?

pastelqueen-sweetascanbe  asked:

I was wondering if you can do an RFA love triangle JuminXVXMC. I don't want to stress you so you don't have to do it. I was just wondering is all. ^^ Thanks for taking your time for reading this, I love your story's and keep up the great work.

We are soooooo sorrry that this took soo long. Honestly, it’s been sitting in our drafts forever, and we apologize for just posting it. Hope it’s okay though?


He deserved this.

That’s what he told himself as he watched Jumin smile at MC from across the room. He watched as she returned the gesture lovingly, Here they were in the bustle of guests eager to speak to all the hosts of another successful party. All thanks to MC.

V lifted his camera, his focus on MC. He was supposed to take pictures of the party coordinator, but he was beginning to feel like it was an excuse just to look at her through a lense. He loved to watch how her eyes sparkled as she greeted another person. Her hair swayed as she made small gestures with her hands as she spoke. Her lips curved into a beautiful smile that made V’s heart flutter inside his chest in a gentle way…something he had never felt before.

He snapped the pictures hurriedly before moving away. He tried distracting himself by taking some other photos, but he just couldn’t. The image of MC filled his thoughts, and with it, came the acute stab of guilt. He knew Jumin liked her…no, loved her. He saw his friends feelings unfold in the chatroom all that time ago.

At the time, he had encouraged it, still cast under the enchantment Rika had left on him. But that was his fault too, wasn’t it? Rika…her rise and fall…both were his fault, and he would force himself to pay the consequences.

“V…” Jumin’s uncharacteristically hesitant voice carried from the doorway.

V cleared his throat, steadying his voice before speaking. “Ah, Jumin, I was just getting some air.”

“You can stop that.”

V’s fingers tugged against his blazer, but he resisted the urge to drop his smile. “Stop what?”

Jumin sighed, taking a step closer. He adjusted his cufflinks, his eyes suddenly darting to the ground. Was he nervous? “You’re in love with MC.’

V’s entire body froze at the statement. He couldn’t bring himself to plaster that same smile back on his face. He couldn’t even muster a chuckle. Even if he did, Jumin would’ve seen right through him. In this painfully raw moment, he could do nothing but remain silent.

Jumin pursed his lips and nodded. “I see,” he said. There was no mistaking the tightness in his voice. “How long?”

“Jumin, I have no interest in her,” V said quietly.

Something between a scoff and sigh escaped his friend’s lips. There was no mistaking the strain of jealously in the way the muscles on his neck twitched. “No? Then what was that in there? Do you realize how long you were staring at her? Taking pictures? And before, during our last meeting–”

“No,” V interrupted. His words seemed to be lodged in his throat, making it difficult to say anything without his voice wavering. “No, I mean…I’m not pursuing her.”

For a long moment, there was silence. Jumin chewed on his bottom lip…a sign of true distress from the normally stoic man. “Why?”

V shrugged. “A lot of reasons,” he said. “I…I don’t think I can ever ask someone to accept me after what happened to Rika.

Jumin’s brows furrowed. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

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