Have you seen this gif? I was tagged in a post with this gif (and have since lost that post somewhere in my hoards of likes, oops) and let me tell you, my life was enriched for having seen it.
So here’s an AU:
Graves is a celebrity with everything that entails: tv appearances, photoshoots, even just going up on stage to receive an award. He has a whole team dedicated to managing his life and his appearance including this one guy on the makeup team, this young guy with the curly hair who’s just starting out and is terrified of doing something wrong and getting fired from his first big job.
And honestly, Newt doesn’t mean to get things wrong. But. One of the dogs was sick, and he had to clean it up and stay long enough to make sure she was ok, he couldn’t just leave her until he knew she was alright - but work - but dog - in the end he sneaks Niffler the dog into the back room and hopes no one notices and stammers his way through an apology for being late. And his budgie, little blue and yellow guy called Pickett, he has attachment issues - birds are really intelligent, you know? Much more so than we give them credit for. So Newt sneaks him in and he’s usually so good about staying out of the way, but sometimes he sits on Newt’s ear and preens his tousled mop and that’s just a thing. And the cats, Newt has a lot of cats - to be honest he doesn’t even mean to have a lot of cats but somehow he keeps adopting strays - and do you know how hard it is to get cat hair off your clothes? Hard.
So there’s Newt, stumbling over his words with a bird on his shoulder and cat hair over his clothes and a cocker spaniel hiding in the back room and he’s only meant to be sweeping up and handing people things, that’s all he’s meant to do.
Except Graves points at him and asks him if he’s new. And then, because Newt blushes scarlet and he really is far too cute to overlook, Graves waves him over.
“Show me what you’ve got,” he says with a challenging smirk and Newt kind of just dies? because? Percival fucking Graves is god’s gift to mankind and Newt gets to style his actual hair that’s it, he’s reached nirvana, goodbye budgie-Pickett Newt has ascended to a higher plain.
He doesn’t actually remember much of the experience because he was too busy floating on a cloud of happy (interspersed by random bouts of fear because what if Graves doesn’t like it and Newt gets fired and never gets to touch this amazing man again what will he do) but somehow he ends up waiting in the wings with Niffler the spaniel sitting on his feet and Pickett the budgie on his shoulder and somehow Niffler’s stolen not one but three of the makeup brushes and is chewing on them which probably isn’t good, but Graves is on stage now and that’s all that matters.
“Looking good,” the presenter compliments him, and Graves responds by staring out to the audience and running his tongue over his lip jesus christ Newt has been revived from death-by-hair only to die again how much more can he take.
Except. Except then. Just at the end Graves flicks his gaze to the side and looks Newt straight in the eyes. He finishes with this satisfied little smirk and Newt actually crouches on the floor and hides behind Niffler because holy fucking hell wHAT.
Niffler, the traitor, trots out onto the stage and presents a well chewed brush to Graves while Newt attempts to hide behind a lighting rig and pretend he doesn’t exist.
“A new admirer?” the presenter jokes. “She’s a cutie, isn’t she?”
And Graves, clearly not content with the extent to which Newt’s brain has been scrambled, smiles this beatific, conspiratorial smile as he kneels down and scratches Niffler behind the ear, does he have any idea how much Newt loves people who love his dogs, because it’s a lot, ok, a lot, and says:
“You should see her master, he’s adorable.”
And that. Just. Cannot cope.