Why are you so in love with science? (not meant in a bad way, I'm just curious)
I guess it’s because science just sort of makes sense to me, on a fundamental level.
The processes of science and scientific analysis are very in line with how I see the world and how I think. I’ve always been a very sort of analytic thinker. Like I was the kid who always had to know why and was always questioning everything and always tries to explain everything (to the point that I was, at time, a very obnoxious child).
I like facts. I like seeing how things fit together. I like sorting through things and finding the bigger picture and then seeing how the individual details slot into it.
It’s how I make sense of the world I guess. Trying to find an explanation for things I don’t understand. It’s why I was never good at being religious but am fascinated by the history of religion and how it creates and is created by society.
And it goes beyond the purely natural and physical sciences. I feel similarly about the social sciences and history and anything that relies on critical analysis.
On a fundamental level I want to know why. And science, at it’s core, is an attempt to answer that question.
around, not quite sure if I need air, a shot of tequila, sleep for a year or
someone to slap me. I feel stupid, to be honest, like I was a freshman who is
starstruck by the senior quarterback. Tyler has got under my skin way too
easily and I don’t like it. I’ve always been hard to impress, way too sassy,
it’s difficult to keep my attention… and now I can only think about this guy I
met less than two hours ago and that I know nothing about.
walking around without direction I decide that it is time to find (Y/F/N) and
getting the hell out of here before I start banging my head against the walls
out of embarrassment. She is where she said she was gonna be, playing roulette
and being the life of the party.
Miss Luck! Take some risks!” The guy I assume it’s Jamie Benn is yelling at my
friend when I get to the table. God, I literally know nothing about the Dallas
Stars and I make a mental note to investigate about them tomorrow.
fun?” I ask her from behind, scaring her.
(Y/N)! Don’t do that! I could have die” She scolds me and I laugh, kissing her
you will live another day” I say, looking at the table “So, what’s your bet?”
“I kind of
want to go for a number, but there is no way I’m getting it, right?” She
it!” I cheer her and she pulls out her best smile before grabbing a couple $100
chips and putting them on the number 14.
at her closely and smirks “Good choice”
ball starts spinning around the roulette and I hold my breath, actually anxious
about my friend losing $200 on a game. It seems like it is taking forever for
the ball to stop and I can’t help but to shut my eyes before it does. I hear my
friend laugh and I open my eyes to see the ball on the number 30, right next to
the number 14.
meant to be” she says and I put my arm around her shoulders.
look bomb” I try to comfort her
that” Jamie says from across the table and my friend blushes until she looks more
like a tomato than a human being.
go?” She looks at me with puppy eyes and I realize that she is trying to not
think about all the money she has lost.
I nod and
we wave goodbye at Jamie as we walk to the elevators, ready to take a cab and
leave the casino. We donate all our chips on our way out and the lady gives us
tickets for the next home game” she explains and we just take them and walk
is quiet and my head can’t stop thinking about Tyler. I try to make a mental
list of all I know about him; he is a hockey player, he plays for the Dallas
Stars, he was drafted five or six years ago, he used to play for the Bruins…and
that’s it. I know nothing more of this guy. I have never been too interested on
the players’ personal lives, not even the Red Wings players, so I don’t know
where he is from, his family, etc… Maybe it is for the best.
feels shorter that it really is and before I know it I am home. I take my heels
off before climbing the stairs to my apartment. My feet ache and I’m quite sure
I have blisters all over my toes… ugh, gross.
apartment is small but cozy. It has a decent size bedroom, a bathroom, a small
kitchen, a living room and my favorite part, a nice terrace where I have a
small table and tons of plants. The color scheme is simple, light blue, light
grey and white. Everything is perfectly coordinated and my red dress doesn’t go
well with it, so I walk to my room and change to a pair of leggings and a white
sweater, feeling more like myself as soon as I do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m
comfortable with my body, but the dress was just too much for me…I’m more of a
pair of jeans and a nice top kind of girl. I walk back to the living room and
sit on the couch, pulling my white faux blanket over my body as I grab my
laptop from the coffee table in front of me.
gonna regret this, dum-dum” as I get in the browser and type Tyler Seguin on
thousands of websites talking about Tyler Seguin and I spend what it feels like
hours reading articles about him. Apparently, he is a good player but he is
also known for his love for partying. I keep reading, learning about his trade
from Boston to Dallas due for his attitude outside the ice and how it seems
like he has calmed down and matured since his arrival to Dallas. I smile
watching a video about his charity Seguin Stars, which is incredibly kind of
him. I might have watched the video of his ESPN body issue too, but I will deny
it if you ask me.
I yawn and
I realize that it is pasted 2am and I probably should head to bed sooner rather
than later but, as much as I love hockey, I didn’t start looking into him
because I wanted to know his stats so I push myself and I type girlfriend next
to his name and hit enter. I spend ten minutes scrolling through websites until
I shut my laptop and frown, feeling like the biggest fool on Earth.
would’ve bought you that drink”
sentence is playing on repeat in my head. I can’t believe that I didn’t come
back with something witty to say. Man, I can’t believe I didn’t even get her
number or instagram. God, I can’t believe I didn’t even ask her what her name
I hit the
wheel of my Ferrari with the heel of my hand out of frustration and I speed,
needing some sort of distraction from her. She knew who I was, but she wasn’t
impressed and that was refreshing. I’m too used to girls throwing themselves at
me and I just have to choose my favorite and the rest is done, but this
mysterious girl wasn’t having it. A challenge, I haven’t had one of those for a
I get to my
new house and park the car inside the garage before walking in through the door
that leads to the kitchen, where pair of happy labs greet me.
boys” I coo to my sons “have you been good?” as I push Cash away before he
ruins my Tom Ford suit.
me to the kitchen, where I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and get a
couple treats for them as an I’m-sorry-I haven’t-been-home gift. I walk
upstairs to my room, knowing that the dogs will follow me as soon as they are
done eating and walk into my closet, taking my suit off and hanging it next to
a couple of pieces of clothing that I need to take to the dry cleaner. I walk
to my bed and get under the covers when I hear the boys racing upstairs and
hooping on the bed, getting comfortable next to me.
are sooooo spoiled” I whisper to them and they just look at me like they own
the place. They probably do.
I turn to
my side, this girl still stuck in my head as I drift to sleep.
could you do another AU bad boy Matthew where he tries to comfort steph because she's crying about something (p.s you tell awesome stories)
If it hadn’t been for the fact that Matthew currently had an armful of crying Stephanie, he’d probably be out there cracking skulls. How fucking dare some asshole break her heart? Matt had spent days, weeks, months dreaming and hoping and praying that one day Steph might love him as deeply and entirely as he loved her. He could only fantasize of her giving him her heart. He’d spent so much time thinking of everything he’d do for her, how important she was to him, and how he would never, ever hurt her.
He’d always ached on her behalf, Steph was cut from a different fabric than him. Pain and hurt had toughened him into who he was. It made him guarded, and yet Stephanie would toss herself into the meat grinder over and over and over again because she was just that determined to keep her heart open and love others. It made him love her all the more, and seeth with fury when things like this happened, when some fuckboy got the god damn privilege to walk around and know Stephanie Cordato would give him his heart, he would take it and step on it.
“I can hear you fuming.” He heard her hiccup, her face still buried in his chest. Somehow, Matthew managed to swallow his rage and gently smoothed her hair. “Damn right. You should be too, if he can’t see what a treasure you are then he’s an idiot.” She laughed wetly against his chest and hearing that beautiful laugh he loved so much broken and tear stained made Matt’s blood boil. “You thought I was a freak when we met.” Steph pointed out. “And, as you’ve told me before, I’m an idiot.” He replied.
A pair of wet brown eyes peeked up at Matthew and the sharp pain he felt in his heart almost took his breath away. “No one should ever make you look that sad, Steph. You of all people don’t deserve someone who’d break your heart like that jackass.” He whispered. “Hard to take that advice from Mr. Heartbreak himself. I’ve seen your notches, Matthew.” Matt couldn’t help the small feeling of guilt in his stomach. She was right. Those other girls he’d toyed with and left were someone else’s Stephanie. They hadn’t deserved how he treated them anymore than she deserved this and for once, Matt felt ashamed.
“Well, again, I’m an idiot. But still, Stephanie. You’re so wonderful, that guy must have been a fool to hurt you.” Matthew sighed and hugged her tighter. ‘Like you’d be any better.’ That awful voice hissed in his ear. No matter how often he beat it back, it would always return to whisper how he ruined everything he touched and he’d do the same to the beautiful, brilliant girl in his arms. Matt closed his eyes and tried to ignore it.
“You’re not an idiot. An idiot wouldn’t hug me and tell me it’s okay.” Stephanie countered and wrapped her arms around Matt. “You’re the wonderful one.” And even though the words felt like acid on his tongue, Matthew knew it was better for both of them that he replied, “You’re my best friend, you deserve wonderful.” instead of saying “Please stop giving your heart to people who don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you either, but I promise I won’t ever hurt you. It would be like breaking my own heart.” like he wanted to.
Currently obsessed with the song “Keep Me Crazy” by Sheppard, and despite listening to it a ridiculous number of times over the past couple of days, I can’t get over how Perc’ahlia it is.
I can hear a voice from the other side of the room It says, “Yeah, I live a lie ‘cause I like it more than the truth” I made my peace, I’m one with the war But here you are without any warning
Darling, lately I’ve been walking blind in the dark, never see the sun You could save me Give a little heat to the heart that was born to run It was love in a minute, God, I admit it Let’s make a break for the door
And I just really wanna write another Modern AU with these two (ahhhhh) <3
In 2015, I had joined xhamster. I quickly became a popular member, talking to men of all ages, races, and dick sizes. I had just gotten out of my long term relationship, so I didn’t mind letting loose a little. I had started talking to this guy named Peter.
He was nasty. He would degrade me and we’d video chat and he’d put me in my place so good over cam. He lived a few hours away from me, so he demanded that I drive down there to a sleazy motel to get fucked.
I agreed without hesitation. I mean, shit, I was single and horny as bitch in heat. He told me to get off birth control. I did, because I wasn’t sure how serious he was about meeting up. He had me on a pretty rigorous schedule. I was to wake up every hour throughout the night and send him a video of me sucking my tits for a half hour. It was training for when I had a baby he said. My alarm was a baby crying on full volume. It was awful. I was tired every damn day, but whenever I’d miss a session, he would add another 10 minutes I’d have to be up.
He said that until we met, I was to fuck somebody at least once a week. Some nights he’d tell me to go to a bar and pick up a random drunk or a trucker or whomever else. And I would. I’d tell him everything, and he loved how obedient I was.
Months later, he rented a room for us. He told me to drive down and to go in and be blindfolded on all fours on the bed with my ass in the air. When I got there, it was this nasty, rundown motel. The kind of shit you’d never touch unless your life depended on it. I texted Peter that I was there and ready for him. I stripped down to my bare ass, tied a blindfold, and got on all fours at the edge of the bed.
I waited about 10 minutes when I heard the door creak open. Suddenly my ass tightened. My pussy got soaked. My nipples hardened. I was SO excited. I felt a hand caress my ass followed by a hard SLAM. I jolted, never having been spanked that hard in my life. Nothing was said. Just a lot of touching, grinning, and “shut ups” or “you dirty whore”.
He fucked me so good. He finished inside me. I laid there silently, panting and trying to catch my breath. I heard him moving around, but still couldn’t see. Suddenly I heard the door open.
As I lifted my head, I felt the head of a penis tease my clit. Another voice spoke to me. What the fuck was going on. I started to fight back just to be pinned down. As I tried to yell, he shoved my panties in my mouth.
Multiple fucks later, Peter finally came in.
“You know, for a pussy as used as yours, I guess $10 was the right price to charge.”
I fucking kid you not, this asshole sold me out. What was supposed to be a night for us turned into income for him.
It was his turn. He had his way with me. He reminded me that I was worth nothing more than being a cock sleeve. He told me my pussy was so full that multiple men’s cum was overflowing. He abused my cunt. I begged through my panty-filled mouth, but all he’d do is tell me to shut my whore mouth like I should have my legs.
He screamed as he came inside me. I was crying. I couldn’t believe I had just made this man money from my body. I was scared and nervous. After he was done with me, he threw my body down on the bed and gave my ass one more red hand imprint.
I heard the door close minutes later. I untied my blindfold and coughed up my panties. I looked around and no one was there. Shaken up, I got dressed and peeked outside. It was about 3 in the morning, and all I saw was my car plus a few other’s.
I got home and texted Peter. “What the fuck?!” No response.
I would only hear from Peter on occasion. I was almost pissed. Almost scared. Almost intrigued. I didn’t even know, because I didn’t see any of it. A few weeks later, I freaked out realizing my period was late. I immediately ran to the drugstore and bought a pregnancy test.
My jaw dropped. Two solid pink lines.
I immediately texted Peter a picture of it. His response? “I wonder who the father is.”
Something about that suddenly made me okay with it. Why was I pissed? I knew what I was getting into. I was off birth control, what did I expect?
Over the next couple months, Peter and I decided to name our little girl Lexy. He offered for me to move in with him, which I hadn’t decided yet.
Shortly after, I was devastated. I miscarried my baby. My little girl. My everything and more. When I told Peter, he told me he had already moved on. He told me all I was good for is being a breeding machine.
“If you’re ever in town, you know where to find me.
❝ Fuck you! And your eyebrows! ❞ ❝ No one’s looking for you. ❞ ❝ Honestly, I never expected you to amount to much, but _____? I didn’t picture that. ❞ ❝ I do not like it when you don’t talk to me. The worst thing you can do is shut me out. ❞ ❝ After we finish cleaning up this mess, we will go our separate ways. ❞ ❝ Right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my ass. Can you do that? ❞ ❝ I don’t know what you think you’re doing here, but trust me, this line of work doesn’t suit you. ❞ ❝ I don’t want him/her to die at all! That’s the whole point of this! So either help, or leave! ❞ ❝ I don’t imagine I’ll be here very long. ❞ ❝ Where did that come from? And why was it so damn good? ❞ ❝ Are we just gonna grow a magic beanstalk? ❞ ❝ We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you are an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die. ❞ ❝ I don’t even know what to say to you. I don’t even know where to begin. ❞ ❝ What happened to you? Really, what happened? Because this isn’t you. ❞ ❝ I have spent my whole life scared. Frightened of things that could happen; might happen; might not happen. But I came to realize it’s that fear is the worst of it, that’s the real enemy. ❞ ❝ This only works if they’re scared of you. ❞ ❝ Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby? ❞ ❝ You go marching out there, and within an hour, you’ll be dead. ❞ ❝ I wanted to say that — I’m not exactly sure who that was yesterday, but it wasn’t me. ❞ ❝ You either run from things, or you face them. ❞ ❝ We have discussed everything we need to discuss. I thought I made myself very clear. ❞ ❝ I can’t be the bad guy. ❞ ❝ What’s wrong with spicing things up a little bit? ❞ ❝ You know, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to have someone watching your back. ❞ ❝ Facing death changes a person. It has to, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ A man provides. And he does it even when he’s not appreciated, or respected, or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he’s a man. ❞ ❝ This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed! ❞ ❝ I’m not turning down the money, I’m turning down you! ❞ ❝ Ever since I met you, everything I’ve ever cared about is gone. Ruined, turned to shit, dead.. I have never been more alone, I have nothing! No one! ❞ ❝ So that’s your — flysaber? ❞ ❝ Aww, that was so sweet, I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. ❞ ❝ My advice? Never make the same mistake twice. ❞ ❝ If you need assurance, I assure you I can kill you from way over here, if it make you feel any better. ❞ ❝ If I can’t kill you, you’ll sure as shit wish you were dead. ❞ ❝ You aren’t going to kill that dude in there. You know how I know? ‘cause you went to the trouble of putting a blindfold on him. ❞ ❝ How did everything get so screwed up? ❞ ❝ I am not in danger. I am the danger. A man opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks! ❞ ❝ I like to think I see things in people. ❞ ❝ You’ve signed my death warrant. And now you want advice? ❞ ❝ I will kill your wife/husband. I will kill your son/daughter. I will kill your infant son/daughter. ❞ ❝ I alone should suffer the consequences of my choices. No one else. ❞