i write to you as the sun splits the clouds for the first time this week. i’ve finally changed those nets on the window in the study that were covered in mold.
i began this month as many did, drunk, with two-faced optimism. gave up cigarettes for scratch cards, stopped drinking, started jogging. me. jogging. funny right?
lately, though, the shadow that stalks my bedroom has reared its head from beneath the floorboards again and reminded me i miss you as ever.
this is tough. i don’t know if you’ll receive this but…i hope you’re well. it’s been so long. did you finally cut your hair short?
Darling, my hair runs past my waist now. It’s been months since I last held anything sharp. In fact, everything’s softer these days. Even the words that come out of my mouth have grown kinder. They’ve grown wings and I watch as they circle about the single bulb above my head. It’s only a matter of time before they grow tired and start hitting the windowpane with their soft, frail bodies because there is no light bulb.
It’s been a while. I hope you’d write me more often. It gets lonely here.
jesus. i’ve read your letter more times than i feel comfortable admitting to…my little soldier. i’m so glad you’re okay. i’m so sorry i didn’t write sooner.
i feel like i’ve been going a little crazy the past few days, and i’m paranoid it’s getting obvious. to emma. she moved in just before christmas. she works nights so it’s been so damn tough. really tough. it’s so much fucking darker when you’re on your own, you know? the phone rang at 3AM the other night and i sprang down the stairs and expected to hear your voice on the other end. now i’m not even sure if it really happened. i guess it’s kind of funny, really. it’s just i’ve barely stopped thinking about you since…i’ve even started reading your horoscopes after mine in the paper again.
jesus. it was so good to hear from you. so damn good.
i’m glad you kept your hair long.
Emma. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it? Unlike my name. Anyway, I bet she’s lovely as ever. I bet she still has that pretty face of hers. You never really introduced us properly, you know. I’ve always thought that maybe we would have gotten along just fine. Maybe. Well, I bet Christmas was great for you. I bet you’d do just fine with a little time. I mean, I’d bet on a lot of things but I don’t have that much now, do I? But you know what? I bet you know nothing about being on your own. I mean, really being on your own. You’ve always had it easy for you. Right from the beginning. Spoilt kid. Mommy and daddy always giving you whatever you wanted. Excellent marks. All the girls loved you. But what did you do? You fucked it up. You always do. If you had just been, I don’t know, grateful to you folks and maybe went to uni and I don’t know, maybe if you never set your sights on me? I mean, I thought we were happy. For a while, I guess. But oh, I almost forgot, you always find a way to fuck things up. Congratulations and good luck with the baby. Here’s to hoping all the poor, little thing gets from you is your pretty face.
i wrote this the other night over 18 cigarettes and a bottle of cornershop whiskey. its fucking nasty stuff. what you said hit home. you’re right. happy fucking valentines. i once longed for the sun,
for the moon no longer pleased me
now i long for the moon again,
burnt and in the dark.
You really haven’t changed that much, have you? You still think that a bit of time and - and poetry could fix everything. Well, you’re half right, I’ll admit. I’ve been thinking and I guess I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have written all those nasty things to you. I was just angry and upset and it felt like a bubble just burst and everything’s louder again. Remember those winged creatures I told you about a month ago? Well, they’re all dead now.
But anyway, thanks for the poem. I miss this. I really do. You’re a great writer, you know. Do you still write? I hope you do. I hope you get published or something. I’d love to see your name on my shelf. That would be a nice thing to wake up to every morning, I think. I really do.
One of my Friends went missing so I will be posting a lot to take my mind off of everything. Inspired by the path of Demon Dean.
Dean glared at you with those sparkling eyes that for once in his life, held black dull voids.
“You think I loved you…You tHInk I WOULD POSSIBLY LOVE YOU?!” He screamed with laughter.
“You are nothing compared to what I could have…Don’t for one second think I wouldn’t trade you in to save my own skin, because darling I would in a heartbeat. Hell, I would try you for a cold beer.” He kept chuckling as you fled the scene. It was too late though and you barely made it out the door before falling to your knees. Tears ran down your face as Sammy picked you up and took you to your room in the bunker; that night he allowed you to cling onto him as every piece of you shattered.
That was months ago… Dean was cured yesterday. And that brought you a bitter sweet mix of joy and sadness which sifted into you through the bottle of scotch you were just about to finish..
“Y/n?” He asked questioningly. You didn’t dare look up, but hid your face in the glass you were downing. Another. Another. Another. Five. Ten. By the time you were done you had forgotten how many drinks had gone by; that among other things lost in the alcohol. Yet, he stayed, staring at you from across the table that sat in the middle of the library. Silently watching your every move.
“Y/n Stop..” He pleaded. You slammed the next one back and looked him dead in the eye while doing it. If this was your knife, then you sure as hell were going to twist it right into where it would hurt.
“Y/N STOP NOW!!” He slammed his fist on the table and you flinched. His eyes held so much hurt, but then again so did yours and Dean was always the type to kick while someone was down.
“WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME ANYTHING?! YOU LOST THAT RIGHT THE DAY YOU BROKE ME DOWN!” At this point all was lost and you were screaming. Tears streamed down your face and dean threw his chair aside taking two steps towards you. In one swift motion his hand was under your chin gently guiding your mouth towards his. At this moment you picked up your arm and socked him square in the jaw.
“Sammy I’m staying with you tonight,” You yelled before leaving a confused Dean with a purpling jaw to clean up the mess.
Alright, so a momentous occasion occurred last week. I cracked 100 followers! This is a big deal to me, as I sometimes feel like a very small fish in a really big pond. I’m thrilled that over 100 people think of me as someone who is worth following, and I so appreciate that all of you have stuck around. Here’s to the next 100!
I'm just really sad, I miss my old friends so much but I know they don't care about me, I know as soon as I start my new school they will never talk or think about me again because that's what happens when kids switch schools. and it's just the most depressing thing bc I'll go through their Instagram and look at their pictures and selfies of the two of us and I hate it because it was months ago and why do I miss them when they don't even miss me back.
I know how you feel but change is good darling. You have a chance to make new friends. You said they don’t care, so why should you care about them? You’ll miss the memories but you can make new ones with new friends. Try to see the new school as a new start. It’s not easy but be open to what will happen at the first day. Just be yourself and don’t worry too much. :) Good luck darling!
HELLO DARLINGS !!! i am so excited to see so many of you here. after just over two weeks of having this blog, i am ALREADY over 200 followers which is such a huge honour and i am so appreciative. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ i want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for standing by me, even when i’m not as active as i used to be on my previous blogs. i can’t wait to make more friends & get more threads started with you ANGELS. i love you all.
Piaaa! I just wanted to get a moment to tell you how awesome this story is and how you're like the best driver in the feels train (i was devastated, cried for like 20 minutes) and ask you a little something that I might have missed or simply forgot: we know that Augus has the 'dear heart', 'sweetness', and 'my wild creature' pet names. Did Gwyn have anyone for Augus? Also do other characters have pet names for each other? Keep up being as awesome as you already are, love!
Gwyn has no unique pet names for Augus*, and whenever he’s tried to use endearments, he’s always used Augus’ - like, he’s called Augus sweetness and my dear heart in return.
Endearments don’t come easily to Gwyn. He almost only ever heard them phrased or couched in cruelty as a child (like ‘darling’), and ones that he heard from Mafydd (like ‘baby’) were to him generic, and not the kind of thing he was likely to say in turn. Gwyn is touchy with open acts of affection, particularly those that are emotionally declarative, and it will take him a while to learn how to use Augus’ endearments himself, and from there, it will take him longer to come up with his own and feel brave enough to use them.
I’m sure the other characters have endearments they use with each other, like Ash and Gulvi, and Fenwrel and Gulvi, but nothing I’ve got pinned down in my research. That’s the kind of thing that I like to happen organically when I’m writing it. If a character feels compelled to say something, then they’ll say it and I’ll realise they have their own endearments for someone (like Mikkel and ‘cupcake.’) But until then, I don’t like to force it. For example, I didn’t know that Augus would enjoy using endearments for a long time. If you’d asked me if Augus would use them two or three years ago, I would have said ‘no’ or ‘only when sarcastic’ or something similar. I can’t always tell until I’m writing them more intimately.
* The exception is that Gwyn considered Augus his anam cara. But Gwyn hasn’t yet used this as an endearment. He may though, one day.
(Also, woot for the feels train! *passes you blankets and tissues and chocolate*)
This is a short oneshot for imaginingsupernatural based on number 16 of the drabble game (fight me). This gets vaguely (!) smutty so if that’s not your kind of thing then just give it a miss. Enjoy, darlings! :)
You stormed into the flat, Sherlock close on your heels, and threw your keys down onto the table. You were angry, furious, and you were actually, physically seeing red. You sensed the detective behind you, and turned around to face him.
‘How could you do that to me Sherlock? How dare you?’ you screamed at him angrily.
‘I had no other choice! I had to do it!’ He yelled back, just as angry as you were.
Sooo, I started to ship Calladashi, and my biggest muse is amazing miyajimamizy, she draws them so lovely ;-; And also I was really inspired by fics from little-miss-darling, I want to thank them all for everything that they are doing for this cutest ship! Love you! <3 (Click for full resolution! ^^)
I'm not going to talk you out of deleting your blog because I honestly don't know what's been happening in your life. But I do want you to know that you will be dearly missed and so will your animals. Your blog is one of my favorites and it sparked my love for reptile keeping all over again. So if you do delete, know that you will always have people who will welcome you back with open arms. I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
Ohh darling this is SO sweet but please don’t worry! The anon is just getting butthurt that about a year ago I deleted my original blog (Sarah-Scales) because I was getting lots of nasty anons and it was beginning to leach into my actual life outside of this website. I had simply had enough of it and took a break for 6 months or so.
Now I am back and don’t you worry, the scaly kids and I are here to stay! I’ve made too many amazing friends (you know who you are!) since I have come back and I am really enjoying taking a more relaxed approach to blogging now :) I just post when I feel like it, and when I don’t, I don’t. It’s a blog, not a part time job! (Unfortunately) I don’t get paid for this shit so I don’t know why that Anon thinks they are entitled to my content…
Anywho! I am here, I am happy and all the little whiny babies can go suck it.