↪ “What should one do, when what they want to be isn’t what they’re best at? Everyone fights, searching for the correct way to live their lives. What do they seek by fighting? How ought they live? No one can say. All we have is the right to waver. Like stray dogs that have hit rock bottom.”
My first photo ever of Annie + my most recent photo of her. It has been a long, one-year journey of raising this pup. She has brought me tears of frustration and anxiety, but also countless laughs and extreme joy. My life has 200% changed since getting her.
She’s afraid of loud noises and leans on my legs while I vacuum the endless amount of hair she sheds (as she asks for reassuring butt pets from her multi-tasking mom). She cannot resist putting every leaf and stick and pinecone and rock she encounters on our walks into her mouth. She’s a big cry-baby and a huge Miss Sassy Pants. She always manages to wake me up at 5:30 am, on the dot. Raising a high-energy dog breed puppy is tough work, to say the least. I have to constantly think of ways to keep her occupied and happy within my time constraints and my budget. Some days, I feel like somebody else could give her so much more and I end up feeling hopelessly inadequate.
But then I look into her eyes and I see the love she has for me and, I want to try harder.
She’s my child and I love her with my whole heart. Happy 1st birthday Annie!!!!!!! 🍂🎂🎾💗
Holt Family Reunion (because I have a lot of feelings)
When they finally find Pidge’s family it’s very heartwarming and it honestly makes everyone feel so much better? Like they get to actually see how Voltron is helping the universe and each of them kinda files that memory away as something that will get them through the hard time. It’s messy full of tears and laughter because one of the first things her dad says is “am I seeing double, why are there two matts? Wait, katie? KATIE? Oh my god katie” and then they just all collapse in a pile of hugs and tears. It takes them almost twenty minutes to stop crying and over an hour to separate from their hug on the floor. This mission resulted in a lot of aliens being rescued and most of them were injured in some way, but because there were so many aliens they couldn’t put them all in the healing pods. But almost all the aliens who saw the reunion insist on allowing matt and sam to go first so they can be strong enough to be with pidge. So the first set of healing pods contains pidge’s family. During this time, the remaining aliens and paladins try to organize how they will get everyone home. Some aliens planets have been destroyed and allura updates them on what planets have been rescued. Then they start talking about the people in the pods about where they come from, other aliens tell the home planets of the ones currently healing. But then they get to matt and sam holt. Allura says, oh earth okay, they’ll need their own pod because no one is near them. And pidge is like. What? You want to send them home in a pod? A POD?!? Hell no, I am taking them home Myself, you are not just sending them in a pod. And allura is like, “be rational, voltron is needed you can’t just take time off from being a paladin”. And pidge just Snaps. They’re like “What?! How dare you! You of all people should know! I have MY family back just because you can’t get yours doesn’t mean you will stop me from reuniting mine. My mom thinks all of us are Dead!!” “please pidge calm down” “NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, and if you don’t swear that you will open up a wormhole for me and the green lion to take my family back to earth, I will destroy this entire castle with the touch of a button. You think I won’t do it? I am doing you a FAVOR by promising to come back, if you try stop me, I will ruin you forever.” Allura looks over at the other paladins, like a little help here, but the Pidge Protection Squad is out in full force, and all she gets are hard stares. She agrees to send the green lion to earth, but when she says she’s doubling the patrols of the other paladins everyone else is like ??? no???? We’re going back to Earth. We don’t know what the hell the garrison told our families, but they most likely think we are dead, THEY THINK WE ARE DEAD. We are going and seeing them and there’s nothing you can do to stop us. Finally Allura turns to Coran like, help me please. And he just calmly takes her to the side and says, “I know what you’re just trying to do what is best, and you are not the bad guy in this situation, but it would be best to let them see their families one last time. You know as well as I do that they could die up here. You know we would have given anything to say goodbye to Altea, at least they have the chance to say goodbye to Earth.” Finally Allura gives in and says, okay you’ll all go in the green lion because it has the cloaking device and is the smallest, I’ll keep the castle near your moon so it stays hidden. Now first they go to the Holt family’s house because duh, out of everyone they deserve to be reunited first. But when they get there, there’s no sign of Mama Holt? And the house is a mess? Like someone went through it? And all the electronics are missing? What the heck, where is mom? Their neighbor almost has a heart attack when they see Katie, why is she here, didn’t she know? The neighbor very shakily tells them that their mother was arrested for treason. Apparently she had been caught sneaking around on a military base of some kind. Pidge has to be physically restrained to stop them from killing the neighbor yelling that they were a liar. When she finally calms down, they thank the neighbor and go back to the green lion, contacting allura… “we need Voltron”. On the way back to the castle pidge can’t stop talking, they keep saying “She knew, she knew something was wrong, she knew the garrison was lying but she didn’t want to believe me, why does she believe me now, why did she do that. Iverson didn’t arrest me because he would then have to admit that a little girl managed to hack in, but mom, mom is an adult, she could be executed, oh my god, what if she’s dead, what if she’s dead! How, I just, I just got my family back, how can they do this. We are going to obliterate the garrison, I don’t care if you think that’s excessive. They are corrupt and lying and dicks (language) I DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT LANGUAGE SHIRO I WILL CUT YOU” Finally they get back to the castle and everyone gets their lions, it’s show time.
It was a normal day at this government facility, hidden, calm, no one was expecting a HUGE FREAKING ROBOT WITH A SWORD TO DROP FROM THE SKY AND TEAR OFF THE ROOF SCREAMING GIVE ME MRS. HOLT OR WE WILL DESTROY YOU. Everyone is frozen in fear, what the actual crap, someone finally snaps out of it when the robot throws some of the roof a mile down the road. Everyone is frantically looking for a Mrs. Holt, who the hell is Mrs. Holt where is she SOMEONE FIND HER IMMEDIATELY! But they are too late. The sword rips through the guard shack in it’s search to find Mrs. Holt. Suddenly, a middle age woman, wearing ripped prison clothes, stands up on the rubble and says “Katie? Katie is that you?” The paladins are ripped apart by the storms of emotions that come from the green lion. Everyone is crying and they can hear the Holts just saying mom over and over again. One second they’re voltron the next, the green lion is on the ground near her and three people are tumbling out of the mouth, running to meet Mama Holt. “Oh my god, my baby, my beautiful baby, you’re alive, you’re alive I knew they were lying, I’m so sorry, I thought I’d never see you again–oh my god Sam?! Matt! OH MYGOD YOU’RE ALIVE, YOU’RE ALIVE. Don’t you ever leave me again, I love you so much, where have you been, you’re alive, you’re alive, am I dreaming, oh my god” The other lions start to fly to other sides of the world, the yellow one goes to Hawaii, the black one heads to japan, the blue one starts to head to cuba when he realizes that the red one, is just staying there. Red and Blue head to Cuba together.
Each reunion is filled with screams and tears and hugs. Almost everyone doesn’t believe the paladins story, until they show the lions and the bayards. For the first time in what feels like years, they get to eat real food: manapua, saimin, nachos, yuca fingers, sushi, PIZZA, spam, rice. A shock comes to them a few hours later when Allura calls to them and says, Okay, get ready to say goodbye. Almost immediately she has 4 very angry mothers yelling at her over the coms “I JUST GOT THEM BACK -what? You want them back? I HAVENT SEEN MY SON IN OVER A YEAR - auwe, no. you one lolo if you think I’m gonna let him leave, half of the family is still stuck in traffic trying to get here! No, a’ole pilikia no no - bsolutely not! Showing up here with a lion and a boyfriend (he’s not my boyfriend) be quiet lance, I am talking . I swear you go to space and now you have no manners, no he is staying here for at least a few days - Have you even been feeding them? They are so skinny. (we have to eat this weird green goo) YOU’VE BEEN FEEDING MY FAMILY GOO? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU-why don’t you come down here and try rip my child from my cold dead hands, I don’t care if she can throw shiro who’s shiro- SHE THREW MY BABY? NOPE I DON’T CARE IF YOU ARE A GROWN MAN, YOU ARE NOT LEAVING, YOU ARE GROUNDED MISTER, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!-” this goes on for almost 20 minutes of different moms and dads and uncles and aunties yelling over one another about how they need at least a few days with their family. Finally allura and coran agree to 4 days on earth as long as the paladins are always ready to leave immediately if there is a distress call and Allura and Coran get to spend a day with each family.
Lance and Hunk almost immediately volunteer to bring the alteans down from the castle… it is very suspicious. However when they show up a few hours later with their lions full of nonperishable earth food it makes sense. No seriously, Hunk brought almost 70 pounds of rice with him and like 100 cans of spam and Lance brought almost every spice you could think of, their families were horrified when they realized they had had the same exact thing for almost every meal for months. All the paladins make frequent trips up to the castle, to bring family members to see it and to bring more food and clothes. They don’t know how long they’ll be paladins, but there is no way in hell they are leaving without some very essential items this time. Like their super soft blanket, another pair of shoes, a bucket filled with face cream, pictures of their family. In fact, by the second day, almost everyone has moved their entire room up into the castle. It’s like moving in for college, with the parents helping to decorate their child’s room and making sure they have everything. All this time pidge is working almost non stop to try create at least 4 long range communicators so the paladins can keep in touch with their family because she refuses to let them believe they are dead again. Shiro is enjoying tea with his mother and for the first time in a long time actually feels relaxed. Keith on the other hand is kinda overwhelmed by how many people there are in Lance’s house, but now he understands why Lance is loud and uncomfortable with the silence of space. Also Keith might fall in love with Mama Lance’s hugs, he’s never felt this warm and loved. Lance is so happy that he cries, multiple times, and is almost always in the middle of group hugs, and he easily falls back into the role of brother, uncle, and mama’s boy, he never wants to leave. Hunk spends almost all the time at the beach with his family. The sand beneath his feet, the tradewinds playing with his hair, the salty breeze, the sun warm on his skin, and the soothing sounds of a improv jam sesh with his uncles is everything he’s wanted.
The alteans are very surprised at how different each paladins’ family is. Hunk’s is large but relaxed. Shiro’s is small and peaceful. Lance’s is loud and chaotic. Pidge’s is quiet and silly. But the one thing that each family has is it exudes love and caring and accepting of the alteans.
Nothing is harder than the last day when everyone has to say goodbye. Allura and Coran go up to the castle first, giving the paladins their privacy. It hurts because everyone over age 13 knows that this might be the last time they see their family member. The parents hold onto their children softly crying because they are just kids, why do they have to fight in a war. Keith goes back next, visiting his desert home to pack everything up with him… and also possibly breaking into the garrison to steal back the stuff from Lance, pidge, and Hunk’s old room. His lion is actually filled by the time he’s flying up to the castle. Lance’s family insisted on giving him tons of food. Shiro heads back next. He and his mom go to a temple to pray and there is a tearful goodbye, especially when she says she is proud of him. His lion is filled with rice, seaweed, tea, noodles, fresh vegetables, plus small sprouts so he can grow them on the ship, and some family heirlooms his mom insisted on him taking to keep him safe. Pidge goes next, they managed to make a device that will allow the paladins to keep in touch with their family as long as they are in a nearby galaxy, it isn’t perfect, but it’s better than nothing. The last hug is long and warm and when pidge goes into their lion she let’s out a half sob because it’s filled to the brim with peanut butter and spare electrical parts. They have to stop themselves from running back out to her family. They make quick pit stops to each of the paladins families giving them the communicators and instructions on how to use them. The sleepless nights were totally worth it when all the parents give her thankful hugs with tears in their eyes. Hunk and Lance leave at the same time, they both know that if they don’t go together, neither of them will leave. Hunk’s last day is a huge luau with his entire extended family, most of his old classmates, and the whole neighborhood. His lion is filled with all the leftovers, more rice and spam, tons of fresh and dried fruits, and an 8 string ukulele so he can have the sound of home with him. His whole family sings Aloha ‘Oe to him as he walks into his lion and he cries freely. Lance’s spends his last day hugging every family member as much as possible. He takes tons of selfies with everyone, including all the pets. He has a long talk with his war vet grandpa about how he’s scared of not being good enough, but is reassured when his badass of grandpa says he was the same way. It’s a tearful goodbye and everyone hugs Blue together as he walks in. His lion is filled with tons of family pictures, a disk with a video from each family member and of course hella food and spices. He’s able to fly off with a smile on his face because he knows his family won’t forget him and he won’t forget his family.
Bonus: When they all get back to the castle they realize that the food storage room can’t fit all the food they have and have to clear out one of the extra bedrooms to store the food there. They literally have enough food for years. And everyone realizes how much they needed this. The things that were holding them back from fully devoting themselves to Voltron had been solved and the alteans now understand the paladins so much more.
Bonus Bonus: It was at this time that the alteans realize how freaking young the paladins are because now pidge has set up a clock/calendar that is synced up to earth time. Each of them say when their birthdays are so they can celebrate and Allura almost faints when pidge says their 16th birthday is coming up. Like what is this infant doing here what. This leads to a very interesting conversation where they realize that Shiro is still considered a baby by altean standards. Coran has to sit down when they explain that the oldest human to ever live only lived to 128 years, which is still child years for alteans.
I have too many other fics Im working on right now to really write this but:
. Real talk, Kara must feel so alone and isolated right now.
. With all this shit between finding out James is Gaurdian, Winn keeping secrets, and Mon-El’s manipulative behavior she must feel kind of betrayed
. Shes THRILLED for Alex but also really missing the more frequent one on one sister nights
. And theres only so much ice cream you can eat by yourself
. So she reaches out to Lena
. Lena’s basically felt this way her ENTIRE life so shes really good at making Kara feel better
. Then they get “closer”
. Suddenly its Valentines day and Lena does this huge gesture to show Kara how much she cares about her
. But only “in a friend way” because she will actually die if Kara rejects her
. Kara sees right through her
. Shes scared at first, but without realizing it, she fell in love with Lena Luthor, her beautiful best friend
. After a ridiculous amount of potstickers and contemplation Kara decides she just has to lay it all on the line
. So she shows up on Lena’s balcony (in the rain for effect)
. Rambling on about how she feels terrible she didnt get Lena anything for Valentines day until Lena interrupts “so whats my present?!”
. And Kara just sticks a big ass bow on her head with this stupid goofy grin on her face
. “Me, silly”
. Then they kiss on the balcony in the pouring rain and fly off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
Ahh! this is the fastest illustration I finish! The boys in green and stuff. White is almost proud of the past 6 years he’s trying to pose and smile and stuff. Such a stiff baby haha!
So, for real now, thank you so much for your endless support, all the kind messages, your trust in my work and ever encouraging love you show these boys! I truly appreciate it all and let’s hope for another good year of all the blacks and white and greys in this life.
I want to take a moment to thank specific names for making this journey easier, especially at the very very beginning. Our paths might have drifted apart but I always think of you when I look back at those dear relationships I made with and through this story.
aries // “sometime I wish it would just stop. the aching I feel constantly over things I’ve done, and things people have done to me. it’s something I’ll never be able to get over. I’m so angry and I feel so confined in my own little head. I just want it to fucking stop.”
taurus // “I feel happy a lot, but then I get angry at myself. my life is a constant battle between hate and love. my heart aches because I love so much, but one does not trust me. I break people without meaning to, and it ends up backfiring on me in the end. I wish time could reverse and I could make things okay again.”
gemini // “lately, I don’t know what to feel. it’s all about him/her, I fear, that’s making my head spin. he’s the reason I’m staying up late and constantly finding guys to talk to because he won’t talk to me. he’s gone then he’s back in .2 seconds, and I can’t take it. I feel so sick without him but so amazing when he’s here. I hate depending on someone as stupid as him.”
cancer // “I want people to accept me as I am. I’m emotional in all kinds of ways, but you can’t blame me. I’m a sensitive emo who doesn’t know to cope when people yell and disagree with me. I’m often though of as annoying because of it. If I could toughen up, maybe I would hate myself so much.”
leo // “my household makes me want to get out, now. I’m constantly banging my head against walls and writing endlessly about the people I love and the things I fucked up. or the things I can’t change that have happened. it’s a battle between happiness and giving up everything, it feels like I’ve lost everything. I don’t want to feel that again.”
virgo // “life’s going pretty okay. I just kind of feel confused. I’m smart, but I’m insecure. I just want someone to love me in ways I’ll never be able to love myself. it’s such a childish thing to say off of my bitter tongue, but I can’t help it. it’s a want that will forever be hard to get rid of.”
libra // “I want to be happy but I’m too concerned about making other people happy. why should I make other people happy?? everyone throws me around like a rag doll. I always give fifty chances or more when people decide hurting me was stupid, but they repeat the cycle. I’m just so fucking done but I’m really never going to be done because I’ll never say no.”
scorpio // “I’m still recovering from the hurt that happened. nobody knows it but a few, and him. I wish I could have him in my bed one more time as we confessed our love to one another while sneaking a kiss and a possible touch. I gave the most precious gift a woman could give to him, and he left. I just wish I could feel all those chemicals soon. now.”
sagittarius // “I love dogs more than people and I’ve discovered that. they won’t hurt me, they’ll only cuddle with me with the occasional sneeze. it’s a literal beautiful thing when you see them excited to see you, running up to you when you arrive home from school. it helps me forget about the pain. I love dogs.”
capricorn // “music gets me through this hell like world. it helps me forget about all the pain and sorrow that has been occurring day by day. everything I ever wanted seems to be slipping out from beneath my arms. I just wish that they would’ve stayed. but want and need are different, and I know I need you.”
aquarius // “I just want to be alone. I feel depressed and sad most nights and it fucks me up. it’s like I can’t do shit right. it fucking bothers me. I get so angry because of it. I’m so sick of people treating me like I’m nothing more than a rag doll. I still wonder why.”
picses // “I’m a fragile flower that got set on fire some time ago. I’m still burning and can feel the fire dancing around my heart, burning up into flames while all the people who hurt me laugh. apologies can’t even save or put this fire out. when will I ever be okay?”
I gotta go okay?” Sunghwa call me while putting on his shoes ready to go. I’m
still in my bathrobe and rush out from bathroom to say goodbye. I hug him from
behind and he chuckle without looking back to me. I snuggle deeper to get his
attention so he turns back and hug me after done with his shoes.
wrong baby girl? Isn’t it too early to be this clingy?” He put my chin between
his fingers and pulls it up. Make me looks straight into his eyes.
I know I’ll miss you until we meet tonight.” Sunghwa smile at my answer and
cupped my cheeks.
make me change my mind to skip today’s meeting and cuddling with you all day.
You know how much I want to spend my time with you, but I have to make money to
you’re actually afraid that Kiseok oppa will hunt you down if you don’t coming
right?” He’s smile at my joke and caressed my cheek softly.
If you still want to see your boyfriend breath after today you should have let
me go to the meeting.” I smile understand what his words mean. He moves his
face closer to me and I begin to close my eyes, expecting a kiss. I can feel
his soft lips on my forehead and then my nose. I keep my eyes shut and pucker
my lips, but nothing comes.
girl, I really have to go now. I’m getting late.” My eyes shoot open when he
said that. He patted my head and disappears behind the closed front door. He’s
doing it again.
I doubt with his feeling towards me. How can he love me without having any
desire to touch me? Does he just pity me? Or he already has his own release
place beside me? For one year dating him, he never touches me like a boyfriend
should do. He’s sweet and all but when it’s come to skin ship, he always has
his own way to run away.
For chocobros, if their gf wants to learn how to defend themselves/to fight. What do they think? Will they become their coach?
You guys are great for waiting and being so encouraging. Thank you so much! Your compassion and understanding are appreciated beyond words.
I finished my exam for this week trying not to think about the exams next week sob and I’ve been dying to take some time to write. I have a few requests mapped out with notes, so hopefully I can get to them this weekend between catching up on sleep and getting over this ridiculous cold.
I’ve missed you all and my FFXV babies so much!
Make a Man Out of You
Initially, Noct would be completely against training his s/o to defend herself. It would take a lot of pleading, and probably some guilt tripping, on her end to get Noct to even begin considering teaching her. He would be so fearful when it came to teaching her - the thought that she would be in the fray, risking her life, scared him beyond all measure. He couldn’t possibly lose her, too.
Eventually, Noct would decide it was for the best that his partner knew how to protect herself if need be. He would insist that Gladio teach her, but she’d make it very clear she wanted him to be her teacher. Although he would be reluctant at first, Noct would agree. The prince would then be glad he had decided to help her learn - seeing her capable of defending herself brought him comfort and getting to spend more time with her gave him so much joy.
Prompto’s lady would end up mentioning defending herself in passing; it wouldn’t be a request or serious conversation. When the idea popped up, Prompto would think about it for half a second before offering to teach her. She would be a bit surprised at first, but Prompto would be so excited to get started. Not only would they spend time together, but, in his eyes, it’s so much better to be safe than sorry.
Being a gunman, Prompto would teach her how to properly use his guns. There would be a lot of the whole standing behind her and putting his arms around her to help her hold and fire the gun correctly. He hoped it would seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but his poor little heart would be racing so fast. Prompto would be deeply hoping the entire time that she never had to use this knowledge in actual combat. Considering his playful nature, he would end up tickling her from behind and the serious session would turn into the two of them making it a time of happiness and laughter. And with Prompto being Prompto, he would of course start a makeout session and training would be long forgotten.
Dear Iggy would be incredibly hesitant at first. When asked if he would train her, there would be a few moments of silence as he contemplated the thought. He would then agree to it - if he couldn’t be there to protect her, then she should know how to protect herself. This wouldn’t stop him from looking after her though. Even though she would then think she was capable of taking care of herself, Ignis would always be keeping a close eye on her, terrified of the thought of her getting hurt or worse.
Ignis would teach her how to attack from afar. He definitely wouldn’t want her mixed in with the fray where she would be in significantly more danger. They would start off with him teaching her magic, especially the intricacies of making sure she didn’t hit any of her allies. Once he felt comfortable enough with the idea of her being in battle, Iggy would give her with one of the daggers from his very first set, which had been a gift from his late uncle.
When his partner asked if Gladio would teach her how to defend herself, his response would be something along to lines of, “Let’s do it! I thought you’d never ask!” Needless to say, Gladdy would be so excited to teach her. He would fall in love with her more and more each day they trained together, her passion for learning and doing her best for him driving him forward to do his best for her.
Gladdy would definitely view this as a time of growing close and falling more in love than anything else. He would hate the idea of her being in combat, and, when the time came, he would stay close to her side to make sure she wasn’t in any trouble. Initially, his partner would be a bit annoyed, thinking Gladdy didn’t trust her, but she would soon realize that he just wanted to protect her because he can’t imagine his life without her.