i have many experiences from bad decisions

Is your OTP really your OTP?

Before you read on, this is NOT and attack and I’m NOT starting a war. You can of course, freely state your opinion like I stated mine if you wish.

I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while now and I finally got the chance.

Is your otp really your otp? that’s a weird question, right? 

Let’s look at the definition of ‘otp’ first: One True Pairing. Meaning your favorite combination of characters in a fandom.

Or something like that anyway. 

I realise that in my fandom (Naruto) most people have watched it from a very young age. Most of us including myself grew up shipping the standard ships a.k.a SasuSaku and NaruHina. 

And there’s nothing wrong with that really.

But I feel like for some of us, they were forced to, or should I say, scared of considering other pairs. And you know what, they have every right to because it’s known for a fact that there are many assholes and disrespectful people in this fandom (unfortunately). 

The canon ships are SasuSaku, NaruHina, SaiIno and ShikaTema

But I think you all need to be reminded that just because it’s canon, you don’t need to approve of it. or follow it. or like it (as you can follow it, ship it or like it. it’s your choice).

Allow yourself to criticise these ships (and any other ship for the matter), to see their weaknesses and imperfections.

This might sound silly because doesn’t everyone know this already? That you can ship whichever pairing?

No, actually, not everyone does. How do I know? I was one of them.

I grew up ‘shipping’ the canon ships because everyone ships those right?!! Because they’re the actual thing! Because fairy-tales and whatnot. (note the sarcasm)

I remember when I first stumbled upon KakaSaku and was like, holy shit I never considered this, this is amazing (same thing happened to me with NaruSasu and GenIno but lets stick to KS as an example). It took a few months to become a hardcore KS shipper. To be honest, I was scared, like don’t fall for this ship, they’re not canon, just stick with SasuSaku they’re cute.

I think it’s safe to assume there’s at least one person like me out there thus why this post exists.

And here’s the thing! That’s not how it should be, you don’t need to stick with canon.

Don’t ignore the imperfects of the canon ship, allow yourself to spot them and think about them.

I always said SasuSaku were perfect and turned a blind eye onto all their imperfects because they’re canon but that’s the farthest away possible from the truth. In reality, I think it’s a really fucked up ship.

If you think about it, at first, yes they were cute, because even though he’s a bit of an asshole, he cared for his team and for Sakura. But when he left it all went downhill. He tried to kill her multiple times, he rejected her feelings multiple times (and even tho he did it harshly, he does have the right to speak of his feelings, he doesn’t love her and he shouldn’t have to, she can’t force him.) He was absent from her life for years and particularly between the ages of 13 and 17, this a period where you change the most. This is when you grow a personality. There’s no way you could actually ignore everything he did and go back straight away to being best friends. Actually, if we use it as a real life example, you can’t have barely any interaction with someone and have them constantly hurt you and still be in love with them. I know this because I’ve been in a similar situation as Sakura where my childhood crush and first love was harsh and mean and dare I say abusive to me. I did love him for years after that but he left and I didn’t see him for long. I moved on. I started to think seriously about how shitty he is. This is how feelings work. I began to hate him for all the shit he did to me.

How will you ever feel safe living with someone who once tried to kill you? it makes zero sense to me.

Besides, it wasn’t like Sakura actually had any thoughts behind loving Sasuke, she was a child who one day decided to make Sasuke their crush. Mostly because he’s cool. There is nothing wrong with that really, but it leaves many plot holes and unexplained things.

I allowed myself to question these things. How is my ship ‘perfect’ when all they did is hurt each other? How is being a single mother to a little girl whose father is always absent and doesn’t recognise her perfect?

And before someone jumps and says he’s away to protect them, whatever his reason is, it doesn’t change the reality of the situation. He doesn’t recognise his daughter. He doesn’t visit them or keep in touch with them. If he truly loved them he’d find a way to communicate the way he found a way to keep Naruto updated. Or at least found out from Naruto if they’re doing okay. Showed in any way that he cared.

People who truly love each other would go lengths to show it, to be there, to care and if you don’t think so then I don’t think you’ve ever experienced true love.

That said, this is NOT a post to convince you that SasuSaku sucks, this is my experience with it. I’m using them as an example, NOT to attack their shippers.

You don’t have to agree with me and I don’t need to agree with you. We’re all entitled to our own opinion.

As someone who claimed to be a hardcore SasuSaku shipper, it was difficult and scary for me to acknowledge these things. My Tumblr started as an SS blog after all. 

And I made this post to let you know not to be so, that when you do acknowledge a ship’s flaws and imperfections next to their good aspects, you begin to realise truly if you like them or not. I repeat, this applies to every canon ship, SasuSaku is JUST an example.

I still ship SasuSaku, but the fan fiction SasuSaku, the one with plot and feelings. Canon SasuSaku makes me feel sick to my stomach. I think it makes Sasuke a bigger asshole and Sakura a pathetic person and I hate it. (I’m not saying you should too, this is just MY opinion. The canon ship makes me feel bad and leaves a bad taste.)

So maybe be brave and give yourself the chance to think about this. Even if you personally believe there’s no way you’ll ever stop shipping your ship, don’t be scared of allowing yourself to think and criticise and like new things. Do take the time to think about it; this will either help you discover you don’t in fact like this ship as much as you thought or confirm that they’re indeed your otp. So no harm done,  really.

Don’t be scared of the assholes of this fandom who’d try to bully you or make you feel bad. You’ll most probably have your ship’s fandom, they will be there for you.

Lastly, from my experience, KakaSaku pair aside, I can truly say that their fandom has the nicest, most genuine people I’ve ever met in my life and I swear joining this fandom has been the best decision I’ve ever made. Not only are they super sweet but also super talented and chill. They’re a creative bunch who make the best art and write the best fan fiction. I’m blessed there are so many talented people who create amazing content featuring my favorite ship.

whoa, that was long man, if you read the entire thing cheers to your patience. If you’re new in the KS fandom, message me we can fangirl together. If you’re a SasuSaku shipper and were by any chance offended by this, sorry, but this is my opinion. By all means, keep doing you and shipping this pair.

anonymous asked:

phil's liveshow was so cute, he really is very good at making people relax and smile ! loved all the opinions, the funny stories + i felt like he was a bit more open with the dan/"we" mentions (overall he's just so precious bless phil )

it was really lovely. there wasn’t much to analyze in a lot of depth, but there were a lot of insights into domestic life and a good number of cute anecdotes like you mentioned. as i’ve said before, phil is great at establishing a very serene atmosphere in these live shows, and making us feel as though he’s really inviting us into his lounge to chill while he talks about his last few days. but interestingly, today we caught a glimpse of what’s behind his computer when he held up the golden play button, and it looked like he actually had his filming light set up? 

i thought that was fascinating, at least as a reminder that no matter how comfortable the live show feels, it really is still somewhat a production on phil’s end. in that vein, just like last week, he had some props ready to show us, he had a few items prepared that he seemed like he definitely wanted to discuss (promo’ing their vids, & the dapg video they’re releasing tmrw, doing the unboxing of the plaque, talking about the anime-face app, merch shop sale, etc.) and in traditional phil fashion, he rounded out the rest with lovely little stories that were sweet and funny and generally uplifting. 

we learned a few things about phil himself: his voice has a very high range when talking about dogs (girl, we know). he wants nothing more than a red velvet cake for his birthday (i loved when someone in the chat said he couldn’t have one and he said ‘whYY?’ in such a funny voice). HIS BRAIN IS CREATIVELY WIRED AT THE MOMENT AND HE HAS ‘IDEAS IDEAS IDEAS’ to the point that he can’t sleep well. interesting. someone called him an angel and he immediately tried to contradict that ( “do angels snore? i probably snore.”) end the angel trope ffs he has the same or similar photo anxiety as dan i think. but instead of doing peace signs, he does that horrifying deer-in-headlights face. but of course hardly anyone gives him shit for it bc it’s phil and he could probs kill someone on camera and everyone would still call him an angel. his whole face lit up when someone asked him to give uni advice. he genuinely loves feeling helpful. my soul was warm at that part. 

i want to do justice to all of phil’s quirky little phil™ moments like naming a cactus fergus and stabbing himself with said cactus, or “corn on the cob is wild,” or “i don’t just want a tiddly (thought he made this word up. he didn’t) little bag [of popcorn] which is flavored with tarragon or whatever.” bc phil is so funny and his personality is lovely. but today i was really fucking enchanted by the domestic anecdotes, because i felt like there were more than usual and they were all nauseatingly sweet. so i’m gonna discuss them. 

  • first we got to hear about a netflix and chil(i) night gone wrong. fill in the gaps of what he shared with us a little and it’s just such a cute story–phil trying to cook them a meal he wouldn’t normally make, leaving the kitchen to set up netflix (which sounds like he was just getting everything ready for dan which is cute af), coming back to the kitchen to find a disaster (bc of course that would happen to phil), panicking and trying to mop everything up but making it worse by throwing chili sauce everywhere, dan walking in at that exact moment to check on him. it sounds a lot like a situation in which they would just be reduced to uncontrollable giggles, much like the terrarium smashing. i love the idea of phil trying to create this lovely evening for them and making a huge mess instead. 
  • then the story of them trying to buy cupcakes (or cookies? he said both and it was unclear what the actual intent was) at the bakery was also just some soft and fluffy and adorably awkward shit that i would probably scoff at in a fic for being too cliche. but this is actually their lives. they go to buy little sweets together and are too awkward and courteous to say no to the extra ones that the lady behind the counter is trying to give them. love that dan somehow ended up w a pot of jam. what the fuck. love that, once again, they probably left and immediately started laughing at each other. they’re constantly navigating the trials of basic human interaction, but at least they generally do so together. so fucking cute. 
  • phil later mentioned tidying his room to the la la land soundtrack, which, interestingly, dan also mentioned doing in his live show. and then phil started humming the exact song dan has been working on playing on the piano. can’t help but imagine that they clean their rooms together or at the very least, each do their own room at the same time w their doors open, playing music from speakers so they can feel like they’re doing it together. and phil humming the specific song that dan’s been practicing made me imagine him just lounging on dan’s bed (à la that little clip from the making of tabinof vid) and scrolling on his computer or reading, while dan plays. it seems like, in general, this january has been so warm and relaxing for them. they’re nestling into this domestic cocoon that they had to leave behind so frequently in 2016 and they’re only venturing out for little cute dates like cupcakes at a bakery or dinner+movie nights. it makes me so happy. 
  • phil’s passing mention that he (probably meant “we” there) has been watching the tatinof documentary “out of nostalgia” was also so lovely, bc the thought of them watching that (either together or alone) to reflect on the last year, to reflect on everything they made together, the places they traveled, the things they accomplished, and the amount of work it took. that is like. unbearable. jfc. they must be so proud of themselves and all of their success. i hope they are. 
  • and then i really loved hearing phil’s side, however brief, of the terrarium story. the way his face lit up when he was talking about it and the soft way that he said it was the “saddest smash he’d ever heard because [dan] was so into making it.” fuck. my heart. i just love how despite the tragedy of it, it sort of became this funny, happy memory for both of them. they’re so good for each other. 

other casual dan mentions that weren’t full anecdotes: he loved dan’s yandere selfie and called it amazing; he said “our house” a fair few times; he “absolutely loved” watching dan’s memes vid and the way he described it was so funny and so phil (“it’s so nice how he just reminisces on the entire year”) bc of course he would make it sound like some sort of lovely and wholesome reflection that’s perfectly paired with a mug of tea. it made me wonder if he really thinks that dan reflecting in this fashion is a good exercise for him? like what does phil actually think about dan intentionally opening himself up to tens of thousands of submissions from fans and then proceeding to make fun of himself for 45 minutes? there’s no way he thinks it’s good for dan’s mental health, so i wonder whether he is protective or defensive of dan, if he tries to discourage him from doing things that could be bad for him, or if, at this point, he respects dan enough to let him make these decisions for himself, but is there for the aftermath, with smiles and laughs and gentle suggestions for him to take a day off and do the things that will bring him peace and calm. probably that. my heart aches. 

people have sent me a not insignificant number of asks about the way that phil uses “i” and “me” phrasing so much and never talks about sharing experiences with dan, and, relatedly, too many people have this twisted idea that dan depends on phil far more than phil depends on dan. but dan is written into every story phil tells, into the very fabric of his life at this point, and the amount of care and concern and respect and pride he demonstrates for dan every time he talks about him literally overwhelms me. dan is his whole world and i’m so emotional about it. this live show felt like a perfect testament to that. 

(live show: giant youtube gift unboxing (live) - 01.19.17)

anonymous asked:

Hello! I never written any of these before so sorry it's weird but I love your art style and you are really good with colors, I fell in love with your "Gathering flowers for a funeral." I also enjoy drawing but I am terrible with colors, I know this sounds silly to ask but how do you work with your colors?

hi there! thanks so much for saying so! i answered a similar question here, but i’d like to expand on it. (also your question is definitely not silly!)

i think the first thing you should ask yourself is why you think you’re terrible with color. take a look at some work you’ve done and identify what you’re unsatisfied with. speaking from experience, it’s not a lack of technical ability or just being inherently “bad” with color, but rather a lack of goal. 99% of the work i see where people struggle with color, they’re just using way too many colors. if you jump into a piece without having a goal in mind, you’re probably going to just throw colors around because nothing is influencing your decisions. and the goal can be anything! but it helps if there is a narrative reason. in the early stages of this piece, i wanted the pink roses to be the focal point (first goal: just draw pretty roses), then the piece got creepier on accident, and i wanted to turn pink into a dangerous color (second goal: show the viewer that the statue is evil and the statue’s color is pink, therefore pink is a color coded to mean evil in this context). this influenced my decisions, like having the possessed boy flooded with pink light while it doesn’t hit his friends at all. since pink is the focal point, all other colors should be subordinate to pink. i picked shades of greyish blue for the rest of the image because the human eye is not very sensitive to dark blue, so it will stimulate the eye less and give a calm/still sort of mood to the piece. the viewer sort of glosses over it and focuses more on the pink.

using color narratively is super fun because you can basically “teach” the viewer what colors mean. this was the basis for how i approached my little shop of horrors color script. i gave myself very specific constraints on what colors represented what, and when i could use them. for instance, i decided gold would be a color that represented desire, whatever that meant for the different characters. for instance:

gold light is hitting both seymour and mushnik. for seymour it means a desire to have a father figure. but for mushnik, it’s a desire for some sweet ¥ ¥ ¥  by keeping seymour around.

i also made green audrey II’s (the plant) color, and it basically means “something bad is happening or going to happen.” another example combining this and gold:

on the left, audrey II is using seymour’s desires to manipulate him. in the middle, the gold light is cast on orin (an obstacle to seymour’s desire) and audrey (part of seymour’s desire). however, they also have green rim light on the opposite side, to hint that orin’s actions will have consequences. and on the right, seymour’s desires (love, fame, etc) are now swallowed up by the will of audrey II (hence why everything is green), and very bad things transpire.

i dont have much advice for the practical side of color. as i’ve mentioned, i’m not rly good at color theory and i can’t tell you which colors to pick or where to put them, beyond the basic rule of opposites (saturation vs desaturation, light vs dark, etc). but, giving color a job, a goal, a task, putting it to work, helps me keep it in check. it’s much easier to solve problems when you have a reason for why you picked a color, rather than “well i guess i’ll make this flower purple.” and the goal can be simple! the goal can be “i saw a really nice purple flower today, so i want to paint a purple flower”, but if you’re not sure what color you should make the sky behind the flower, then that’s a problem to solve and not a decision to be arbitrarily made. you have to force yourself to edit and simplify. dont forget to study photographs or art with colors you like, to build up a personal taste profile for color! i tend to like warm, saturated colors, so they find their way into my art a lot.

IN SUMMARY: edit your color choices and simplify them, focus on opposites, think of how to use color to push a narrative, be cognizant of your own tastes and preferences. hope this helped, and thanks again for your ask :)

tips for high-schoolers

idk there are a lot of these around but most of this is my experience. I go to a huge school with a pretty good reputation so again, this is based on my school experience. hopefully it helps some of you though!

  1. sleep may be for the weak but make sure you get AT LEAST 4 hours a night. a lot of people will tell you to sleep more than 8 hours a night or some bs like that but it’s honestly super difficult esp if you procrastinate as badly as i do
  2. if you procrastinate, don’t blame your teachers/parents/the forces of nature. hopefully failing a project due to procrastination will convince you to stop. if it doesn’t, accept the consequences and move on.
  3. you don’t HAVE TO have a private counselor or an after school or tutors but it sure doesn’t hurt. if you are able to get one of these, convince your parents to do so. it definitely helped me A TON.
  4. you will get bad teachers at some point in your high school career. just do your best to push through it. if it’s an AP/IB class where you can get prep books, DO SO, and not 2 weeks before the exam. do it asap. then study like hell for the exam because doing it four days before like i did will not make you feel good about yourself when the scores come in.
  5. treat your teachers well even if you hate them. when in school, they have the power over you. it sucks, but it’s the truth. you’ll regret giving them that side-eye in freshman year when you’re thinking about asking them for a letter of rec in your senior year. 
  6. freshman don’t be afraid to ask for help getting around. a lot of people in my year (senior) are still getting lost at my school so it’s not embarrassing to ask for directions. most people are willing to help. if you feel like there’s no one ask-worthy available in the hallways, walk into a classroom with an open door and ask the teacher. chances are they’ve helped plenty of wayward freshman around and will be happy to help.
  7. DRINK LOTS OF WATER and passing period if DEFINITELY enough time to pee. use the restroom during this time instead of at lunch where the restrooms will probably be super crowded. 
  8. when it comes to studying, do what other people do UNTIL you discover a way that works for you. color-coded highlighting may LOOK impressive until you’re reading your notes and trying to remember which color was for which type or term.
  9. use a planner. or don’t. depends on how you prefer to organize. I like planners for daily homework but for long term projects i tend to use my phone’s calendar/google calendar. figure out what works for you.
  10. use your free time wisely. and judge it yourself. you may feel like browsing tumblr for 4 hours straight is a good use of your time, and that’s your prerogative. just don’t go complaining to your friends about not having time to study. remember, everything is YOUR decision. 
  11. join as many clubs as you can, and don’t feel bad for ditching them if you find them boring. I joined 10 clubs in freshman year. now as a senior, i’m only in 2 and one of the two i joined in junior year. it’s also a good idea to join at least one service club even if you find it boring because you’ll need some kind of volunteer experience for college and these clubs are the easiest to get that.
  12. academic or sports teams are cool too!! sometimes you’ll experience a lot from being part of a competitive team. also teammates are awesome. you’ll learn a lot of new things that you wouldn’t be able to just by living through high school alone. 
  13. grab any opportunity that comes your way. officer position openings? go for it!!!! officer teams in clubs are a great way to make friends especially if you’re a freshman. a lot of clubs are always looking for freshman applicants because they need people to keep running the club when they eventually graduate. 
  14. don’t believe everything you hear in the hallways. that teacher they claim picks favorites may very well choose you as his favorite. it all depends on perspective. if he gives you a few extra points, then count yourself lucky and move on.
  15. if your friends are destructive, you’re better off ditching them. whether it’s if they make bad decisions (such as underaged drinking/taking drugs) or if it’s that they insult you and subtly bully you as a ‘sign of their love,’ you’ll be gone in a few years. you won’t have to see them again. their opinion won’t matter as much as your own ten years down the road.
  16. dress well but don’t worry about dressing down. once the week before finals i wore the same pair of sweatpants every single day that week. people understand. most people don’t care if you dress well or dress badly. even if they do they’re not worth your time/effort. 
  17. start early!! if you’re a freshman, start prepping for the SAT/ACT. take practice exams for both to see which you like better! a lot of people say the ACT is easier, but I prefer the SAT because I’m good at vocab. try to finish it as soon as you can instead of putting it off. you’ll be grateful for finishing early when you’re watching your fellow classmates slaving away at SAT prep classes during junior year summer if you’re done by sophomore year!
  18. if you’re good at a subject, or if you really like it, go take an SAT II for it! even if it’s not under what you want to major in, it can’t hurt to show the colleges that you’re willing to try new things, or that you’re good at things besides what you WANT to be good at. that didn’t make perfectly good sense, but hopefully you get the gist of it. 
  19. take AP/IB exams if you want, but don’t take it if you don’t want to. most private schools don’t give a lot of credit for them anyway. case in point, my dream school will only take 2 exam scores as credit, but by the end of high school i’ll have taken 9 AP exams. if that doesn’t prove how dumb I am, idk what does honestly
  20. when choosing colleges (do this early too!) don’t completely ignore your parents but don’t follow them 100%. find your middle ground, compromise. you may be the one going to college but most likely your parents will be holding the money that is the MEANS to go to college. find out exactly what your parents expect before you rush into things. try to figure out your college list BEFORE application season starts (AKA IN THE SUMMER) because school will be hell while trying to negotiate schools with your parents.
  21. talk to your parents about finances. i’ve heard too many stories of how someone gets into an high class private school but can’t go because they can’t afford it but their parents never told them/they never asked their parents. 
  22. take any opportunity you have to travel. those experiences can make up an interesting essay for when you apply to college. 
  23. ESSAYS! everyone says this, but if you’ve procrastinated your entire life and high school career up to this point THIS IS THE ONE THING YOU DO NOT WANT TO PROCRASTINATE ON
  24. learn to step out of your comfort zone. even if you’re nervous talking to new people, connections if one of the most important things in the world today. think of high school as practice for when you’re making connections outside of school.
  25. a private college is not the be all end all of education. there are other options. vocational school. community college. etc. research your options. find what fits you best.
  26. last of all, try to be at least partially satisfied with your high school life. take a step back and see if you’re unhappy or disappointed; do something spontaneous (LIKE JOINING A CLUB) or try something new (like taking a cooking class or learning how to knit). even running a blog on tumblr can be something you put on your college apps. 

hope this helped at least a little bit. it’s kinda text heavy OTL.

Whatever we focus on is bound to expand.

I have learned from experience that happiness is an acquired skill. There is always something to complain about, even in the best of times. Happiness is not an objective reality so much as a subjective decision. Chronic complainers miss the boat.

Many people are addicted to suffering and have a mental habit of pointing out the worst in people or situations. Not only are they robbing themselves of joy, but their failure to appreciate all the goodness that life has to offer actually diminishes all that good. Both our blessing and our condemnation have power. Thinking that something is bad has the power to make it so in our experience.

Children are one of the greatest lessons in happiness, constantly challenging us to enjoy the moment, as the next one will not be the same.

I have lived large parts of my life in wonderful circumstances that I utterly failed to appreciate. Reasons to be happy were everywhere, but somehow I didn’t connect with them. It was as though I was eating but couldn’t taste the food. Finally, I’ve learned to celebrate the good while it’s happening. I feel gratitude and praise today for what are sometimes such simple pleasures. I have learned that happiness is not determined by circumstances. Happiness is not what happens when everything goes the way you think it should go; happiness is what happens when you decide to be happy.

Gratitude is essential to happiness. Developing a grateful attitude–knowing that every time we arrive somewhere safely, we have something to be happy about; every time our children rush up to us and smile, we have something to be happy about; every time we get out of bed and can take a deep breath and go out for a walk, we have something to be happy about–that is the essence of a happy existence. Happiness is a muscle we must use, or it will wither away.

Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet.

Positive Thoughts

—  From my partner marseelee