i have lost all hope for humanity

Undertale Au Motivation


Starting off with a big one all the main Sans I Voice all in audio here to life your spirits up!

Featuring! (in Order of Appearance)

Ink Sans by @comyet

Blueberry by  Popcornpr1nce

Fell Sans (Au Comunity)

Gaster Sans by @borurou 

Reaper Sans by @renrink

Cross Sans by @jakei95

Error Sans by @loverofpiggies


Sans by Toby Fox

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SNK Character Song Series 07: Erwin Smith (Image song & monologue translations)

Thanks for your patience! 

Here is the second half of my translation, this time featuring Erwin’s image song & monologue! 

(You can read Levi’s song & monologue translations here.)

Similar to the Levi post, I included the original Japanese and romaji versions of the song, and I also made a transcript of Erwin’s monologue in the original Japanese. You can read that one here.

Again, spoiler warning for details of Erwin’s entire character song CD, as well as one more plug for the official release :)


“Hope Of Mankind” (Vocals by Daisuke Ono)

Side Note: the melody for Erwin’s song is based on the previously released SNK single, theDOGS.

Japanese Version

惨状だけが 現状そのもの

先へ進む 道を死守

繋ぎ止めるHope Of Mankind



それだけがHope Of Mankind



※ Repeat


Romaji version

Misekake no kibō wo toite
Yume wo chiratsukase wa shinai
Sanjō dake ga genjō sono mono

Toki ni saizen no saku wa
Tōtoi inochi kirisutete
Saki e susumu michi wo shishu
Senjō no seorī

Owari naki crisis no naka
Hei wo michibiki tsuzuke
Nani wo sutesatta toshite mo
Tsunagi tomeru Hope Of Mankind

Akiru hodo mitsumete kita
Jinrui no oyobanasa wo
Soredemo mada hirobite wa inai

Gisei harawanu jakusha ni
Donna shōki ga aru to iu?
Mukiaubeki aite to wa
Hyaku nen no kyōi

*Owari naki crisis no naka
Nando demo tobikonde
Kakushin no danpen sagasu
Sore dake ga Hope Of Mankind

Owari naki crisis no naka
Hei wo michibiki tsuzuke
Yuru ganu shinnen tsuranuku
Tsukiru sono hi made

Muzan ni chitta ejiki to natta
Yūshi ni itsuka tsugunaeru nara
Inochi hitotsu ja fuzoku darō ga
Jigoku ni ochita sono ato de nara…
Kagiri aru ima kudasu ketsudan ga
Asu wo tsukuru to shinjite iru


Suteta mono wa kagiri naku
Eta mono wa wazuka demo
Idomu kagiri zero ja nai
Kanōsei wa mada

English Translation

I do not offer false hopes
By dangling dreams in front
It is nothing but bleak, but that is the way things are

Sometimes the best policy is
To sacrifice precious lives
Defending until the end the path forward
It is the theory of the battlefield

Into the midst of this endless crisis
I will continue to guide the soldiers
Even if I have to abandon everything
I will hold onto the hope of mankind

I have stared myself sick gazing upon
Humanity’s inferiority
Nevertheless we have not yet perished

For the weak ones who have not paid with sacrifice
What sort of chances of winning are there?
The opponents we must face
Have been a menace for 100 years

Into the midst of this endless crisis
I will dive over and over again
To search for fragments of the truth
That is simply the hope of mankind

Into the midst of this endless crisis
I will continue to lead the soldiers
I will cling to my unwavering faith
Until my days come to an end

It is cruel how the victims have fallen
If I were to atone for these volunteers
One life is not enough, but
Perhaps it would after I have fallen into hell
There is a limit to the decisions I make now but
I believe we can build a tomorrow

There’s no end to the things I’ve thrown away
Even though the things I’ve gotten in return were few
The ability to challenge is not down to zero
There is still a possibility


Monologue English Translation

My father was a teacher. The course of my life was set in the classroom one day where my father was giving a history lesson.

Having doubts about the story of how humanity had been driven into these walls, I asked my father a naive question.

At the time, my father stayed silent, but after we returned home, he answered my question.

There were a great number of inconsistencies in the history book distributed by the monarchy.

Moreover, he had a theory that they were hiding an astounding truth.

I spread my father’s theory around to the neighborhood children.

There was no ill intention, it was an innocent act.

However, on the day in which those details were investigated by Military Police, my father died in an accident in a faraway town he had left for.

Of course, it was only ostensibly an accident. My father was killed at the hands of someone who disapproved of his theory.

Inside the walls, there are a portion of humans who indulge in a privileged life– their desires, as well as a foolish son tempted by innocent questions killed my father.

And then my father’s theory became my truth. Proving my father’s theory became my life’s mission.

Humans become titans, and titans become the walls.

In this world full of harsh paths, answering the question I put forth on that day is the meaning of my life, the reason why I was born.

It is for that reason that I came to lead the Survey Corps, giving commands to numerous subordinates: “Give up your life.”

Almost all humans who join the Survey Corps will die.

On their first expedition outside the walls, the probability that new recruits will become food for the titans is roughly 50 percent.

1 in 2 people will lose their life.

Just in the last 4 years, the Survey Corps lost the majority of its soldiers, and with the fall of Wall Maria, all of the results we had gained crumbled in an instant.

There is no guarantee that Survey Corps soldiers who dedicate their hearts for the sake of humanity will live tomorrow. The current condition is bleak.

However much we try to discuss our hopes and dreams, all of them will be easily crushed.

No matter how much we champion some great cause or become a sacrifice for someone else’s sake, the pay off is almost nothing.

And yet I have been ordering many soldiers to die.

I have been using gamble-like military strategies in order to fight against this cruel world.

A comrade who formerly aspired to join the Survey Corps with me fell in love with a girl from the bar we frequented, and he chose to protect her.

I too thought I could perhaps walk along that same kind of path.

But I chose the path of fighting titans over a girl I loved.

Even a person who chose a peaceful life and could spend their life happily will eventually die.

Hope? Or despair? When this small world is about to change, I am the only one who will choose my own path.

I am the only one who will choose the path I believe in.

Who is the enemy of this world?

The key that will save humanity from this despair is none other than humanity’s determination.

This firm determination is, above all, mankind’s hope.

Therefore, I have no choice but to go see the answers I want to know.

Even though I have lost my arm as well as many of my subordinates while carrying the wings of freedom on my back¹, I must continue to advance beyond the walls by fighting against this cruel world.

If we can manage to reach the basement of Eren Yeager’s home, surely we will be able to seize the key to freeing ourselves from control by titans which has lasted for 100 years.

The answer to the question I brought forth on that day is at a place right before my eyes, a place I can reach my hand toward and grab.

Everything is for the sake of my dream– my very own dream. For that purpose I have guided many soldiers, and have ordered them to die.









As well as every other soldier who has tragically fallen.

My one life is not enough, but eventually I will make up for it. After I have fallen into hell, certainly I will have the privilege to atone.

Certainly, without fail. But now is not the time.

No matter what it takes, I have to be present to witness the moment that the truth about this world becomes clear.

Even if I have to abandon everything.

My conviction is unwavering.

Translation note:

¹ Here the phrase 自由の翼を背負い/jiyū no tsubasa wo seoi (“carrying the wings of freedom on my back”) has a connotation of it being a heavy burden to bear. It looks similar to another phrase in Japanese, 十字架を背負う/jyūjika wo seō, which means “to have a cross to bear” or more figuratively, “to carry a heavy burden”.

Light You Up
look i love him i
Light You Up

Another Boku no Hero Academia mini song! This one about Katsuki Bakugou, my extra human explosion who I love but who also needs to fIND HIS CHILL. This is the first one I wrote, actually. Hope you like if you listen!

I have lost sight of the ground
so I refuse to look down.
If I keep chasing the sky
maybe I won’t notice all that’s left me behind.

The pity clouding your eyes
is what keeps the beast alive.
Under the smoke and mirrors
I want to know somebody still sees a hero.

I’ll light you up ‘till the world is blinded.
Running on air, a prisoner in my head.
If I fall,
if lose it all,
will I shatter with my illusory walls?

I won’t be forgotten.
I’ll beat you to the end.

An Elucien Epilogue (ACOTAR fanfic)

This is an epilogue-esque ending to “A Court of Wings and Ruin”, so obviously SPOILER ALERT!

Summary: Lucien returns to Velaris after the events of ACOWAR, determined to be a better male than Tamlin and put aside his mating bond if that’s what Elain wants.

Thank you THANK YOU thank you to the wonderful, talented, and overall amazing @feyre-archerons-scrapbook // @the-other-sam for being my Beta reader and pointing out that somehow my brain decided Azriel was a “Shadowslinger” XD  She’s seriously the best- everyone follow her!

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Scars || Steve Rogers x Reader [[soulmate au]]

[prompt: soulmate au where the only way you can get rid of your scars is if your soulmate kisses them away.]

{summary: you are known as Steve Roger’s shadow, and you only have one purpose in your life, and that is to protect the man from any unknown dangers all while hiding your presence from him. one fateful day, when an assassination attempt goes wrong, leaving you injured in the process, Steve finally sees you for the first time and slowly helps with treating your wounds [[au]]}

yooooooo this is saeran–choi, i just changed my username to my new favorite character, momo sakaki (i also wanted to get a username that only has a single dash in it instead of two for purely //aesthetic// purposes)

I’ll work on updating and fixing my masterlist once my computer is fixed, so i hope you all will forgive me for changing my url!!!

permanent tags: @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53

dedication tags: @rvnclawss , for being an awesome friend in general.

warnings: none

**don’t repost/plagiarize this story. reblogs are fine!!**


Sometimes, you absolutely despised how fragile you were as a human being.

You worked for a secret agency who’s main purpose was to act as a personal guard for superheroes. Now, it may seem like having bodyguards for superheroes would be a lost cause, since their duty was to protect the world and save innocent lives with their superpowers. One would like to believe that such heroes would be able to protect themselves, but they didn’t know the half of it.

There’s always some type of danger hidden from their sights, and if the world was to remain safe, then there had to be a group of people that could act as a shield for these superheroes without them knowing about it.

The moment you had completed your training, you were given the name and files pertaining to the hero you were assigned to protect-

And that hero was named Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America.

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shady-swan-jones  asked:

i have just the thing for to wake your fluff muse up: cs + You just woke up from surgery and you don’t remember me or that we’re married or have a kid because you’re so high but you flirt with me anyway au

okay, so, wanna hear something hilarious? sophie sent this prompt to me     A G E S  ago, and i started writing it, and then it got lost in the abyss. i’m so glad you sent it to me again. so…take two! i hope you like it!

also, to @killiansdevotedheart! surprise! i’m your CSSV! consider this your pre-gift because i’m still working on your actual gift but i want you to still have something. enjoy for now!


Emma knows she shouldn’t be so worried. It’s a simple appendectomy, after all—the removal of an organ human biology deemed no longer very useful years ago. She shouldn’t be so worried, especially after the doctors assured her she brought him in just in time.

(“A few more days and we would have had a mess on our hands. You did good, Emma, even if it meant dragging him here against his will.”)

Doctors assurances don’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, because it’s Killian, after all—

Killian, who spent two weeks in pain because he didn’t want to trouble her.

Killian, who sat through Henry’s ceremony in utter pain because he didn’t want to miss it.

Killian, who let his appendix almost burst because he didn’t want to be a burden.

— And yet she’d murder him herself if he didn’t make it out of this, adding a whole new meaning to the whole “til death do us part” portion of their vows.

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anonymous asked:

Why was Dean acting like an ass to Cas in season 6?

Don’t worry about it, though. We’ve all been there, and especially me. 

So, I won’t get into this a lot because season 6 has been discussed so much - some meta bloggers, like @elizabethrobertajones, even have weirdly specific tags for it (hers is ‘we don’t talk about season six’, which I always assumed was a veiled threat and, as it turns out, she thinks it was a very romantic season and we don’t discuss it nearly enough). 

There are various theories about how this season was built, and one of them is that it was supposed to turn Cas for good - to make him into an enemy and then eliminate him from the show, if I remember correctly, so the general consensus seems to be, Why wasn’t Dean more of an ass to Cas in season 6? This was a narrative centered on misunderstanding and miscommunication, and from Dean’s point of view, Cas was acting like a demented Callahan type for no reason, which, given angels were (they still are, but back then it was particularly noticeable) the most powerful creatures Dean’d ever encountered, was incredibly dangerous, not to mention unpredictable. Dean should have wanted to take Cas out just to be on the safe side, and if it had been anyone else, he would have done it. But, of course, deep bond and stuff. Even after Cas’ done the unforgivable and hurt Sam, possibly for good (protect Sam: remember that’s Dean’s genetic imprinting, and he steamrolls over both friends and enemies to get that done), Dean still has enough empathy and affection for Cas to come clean about his own feelings, and to try and help Cas, or even save him, if he can. That, I think, is unprecedented?

Something that doesn’t come up a lot as a reason why Dean was so awful to Cas during this season (and therefore, what I’ll focus on here) is how Dean constantly refuses to see Cas for what he is - not a human being, but an unknowable, alien, otherwordly creature

Now, from Dean’s perspective (at the beginning of season 4), angels are not monsters, or things he hunts, or things that exist in the real world; they are, instead much more close and personal than that. They are a cherished memory of his mother, and they are, therefore, an emotional concept which symbolizes peace and being safe and thinking that things could, one day, be alright. This is thrown into particular sharp contrast if we compare Dean’s religious beliefs to Sam’s - we know that Dean doesn’t believe in God, and therefore angels, and that he doesn’t pray. So, for him, angels really are this intimate, childish thing he’s allowed himself to cling to all these years: his mother’s voice, full of love, biding him goodnight. And when Cas shows up, it’s painfully clear that Dean takes his very existence personally, and he’s not at all happy with any part of it. Cas is important in the narrative because he sort of ‘pushes’ Dean out of his comfort zone; he challenges him, and makes him feel out of control in a life where Dean’s fought so hard to be in control at all times (because someone had to be). In a way, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cas’ overt sexual aggressiveness was planned for exactly this reason - because Dean’s been written as bi from the start, and yet this is a part of himself he keep a tight rein over, and Cas’ behaviour very nearly shatters all that. We’ve seen Dean’s uncomfortable with being flirted at, and he’s uncomfortable with anyone being too close to him (in every sense) and Cas, in this sense, is a nuclear reaction. All those secrets Dean’s fought so hard to protect from his brother and Bobby and everyone else - now there’s someone who knows them. All of them, including what he really thinks about himself and the shameful things he did in Hell and how they made him feel. And the fact Cas was always in Dean’s personal space was partly meant, I think, to symbolize this intrusion into Dean’s mind and soul. 

(It must have been terrifying, really.)

And the thing is, out of all the possible responses Dean could have to this gobsmacking, life-changing revelation (that God exists and angels exist and one of them saved him from Hell and is now following him around), what Dean chooses to do is extremely revealing: he starts treating Cas like a human

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For those who don’t know, the term Yandere means your sick with love. Now it’s not just a normal amount of love. No, Yandere is when the first person has so much love for their crush that they will do anything for them, even if it is unwanted. Now with the posts going around how humans pack bond like crazy and are extremely loyal, I don’t believe the term Yandere will mean much to them. Or if it does they will view it as a positive thing after all their crush will be safe from anything harmful. That is, until someone’s gaze focuses on one specific alien. Suddenly it’s not a good thing anymore.They lose privacy, they can no longer talk to anyone else, and worst of all, people have gone missing that they had talked too only a day before. They go to their Captain and tell them what’s wrong. They get laughed off because ‘Yandere is a good thing’. All hope is lost. They suffer, slowly going insane as their Yandere slowly tears them apart piece by piece to make their alien loyal to them and only them.

anonymous asked:

oh hey its me crazy monthly anon again (i guess i send u a bunch of stupid mesages these days) i came here to deeply apologize, i am so sorry its just things in my life r gettin me so hard i am not even eating i am so hopeless even tho the bolotie x gravat eruri make me happy, i just hate when people say shit like "lev0 will find a ne wliege" this is so bs and not true and yet people keep annoying with this i just ugh cant ~ the ackerbond is unique and especial is for one person only

and Erw0n IS LEVI’S liege, and dare I say true love, eruri has been more canon than ever and yet why do i feel so … dead idk? because eruri is the only good thing in my freaking life they r legit the only reason why i didnt… took my life away. I guess it’s my sadness taking over even my only happy thing, I am really sad over the new chapter I guess i will only rest my mind when i see Lev0 being like kenny and dying with erwin in his heart a good closure. But i am so sad this is on me.            

with everything i never have doubts about eruri being canon THEY ARE CANON, but idk i guess i feel fragile about it because its the only good thing in my freakin life and i tend to be… very scared about everything, i wanna see this closure that i’ve talked about i am pretty sure thats not such a thing as “moving on” because Lev0 have chosen Erw0n personally and i am pretty sure super sure they loved each other, I just want closure and it hurts cant explain and i am sorry for bothering rlly      

hello, nice to hear from you!

I admit the first time I read the editor’s comment I was a little confused by it too, but since then it’s actually made me pretty happy! I’ve spoken to four different people who all speak Japanese (and they have read the original Japanese) and they all say the exact same thing: their interpretation of the comment is more along the lines of “Levi has lost Erwin, what will he do now?” Like, the actual description the editor gives of Levi is someone who lost Erwin. I’m not even kidding when I say i’m screaming about that lmao.

My hope is that we’ll see a darker Levi who will fulfill his vow (or die trying). For me, the editor is saying will Levi fight for his vow or for “humanity”/paradis, because let’s be honest, the decision to let Erwin die was because of his own personal feelings and we’ve all wondered where that would leave the SC/Paradis. Even Hans seemed pissed about that.

I’m actually feeling pretty positive about where the manga is going right now, and along with the news that the original ending is planned (albeit with a different approach) and further hints from the editor of an Erwin flashback, I am feeling really hopeful again about the end of the series.

But yeah, there is no way Levi will bond with anyone else. Kenny is canon proof of that. Levi bonding with someone else would void all of this:

He doesn’t look like a guy ready to move on and find a new liege.

Sometimes I cry at all the wasted potential that is Kirigakure

They likely have the highest missing nin rate among all the villages. Top ranking ninja leave because they lost hope. They leave because they want change. Imagine your colleagues just defecting left and right. Imagine yourself loyal to the system but so so conflicted because your friends are fleeing.

They even have a subdivision of Anbu where they hunt their old comrades. Friends killing friends over orders. We already know Kiri discourages bonds but c’mon they’re humans living and breathing together.

Genocide is rooted in their culture. They are ninja that fear ninja abilities. Just look how erratic their society is. The 5th Mizukage has TWO kekkei genkai. That sort of acceptance doesn’t come overnight. Let me see that progress.

Their villages are in shambles. Give me the daily struggle of a ninja from a civilian family. They join a system equally in shambles looking to the future but find betrayal, death, and heartache.

Zabuza slaughtering the entire graduating class was the last straw. So tell me, what was the first? The second? How many awful things had to happen before Kiri decided to change tradition? The system needs Ninjas because so many are defecting. Kiri is struggling to stay on it’s feet and remain a powerhouse.

Kisame is so conflicted over killing his comrades for the mission that he defected. He’s a top ranking ninja that’s valued for his skill and yet…he has no value to his superiors. This Post while it’s funny, really tells how desperate Kisame is for change. Some guy just has to appear talking shit and he’s all in. He has nothing to lose because it’s already all lost.

Zabuza still believes that hope can be found within his country. He tries to lead a coup and fails because of betrayal. He takes work from scumbags to fund his dreams. And in the end he fucking dies. Zabuza tried so hard but died a criminal outcast. He wanted change and died the enemy.

Give me stories where someone worked so hard for their dreams but in the end failed. Give me conflict without resolution. Give me aching heartbreak and split decisions. Give me war fought over ideals and money. Give me friends betraying friends. Kiri has so much damn potential in every corner of it’s existence.

Moonlight Sonata

pairing: Thranduil x Reader

fandom: the hobbit

@nekodemon73 @kumpmk

The moon had risen high, a bright shining light in the dark of the night that led me through the forest.  

When I finally emerged from deep within I noticed one of the elves that were known to live here. He was leaning against a tree, his attention focused on something else. He would have heard me coming miles ago if he hadn’t been distracted.  

By nature, elves weren’t violent. They lived in piece, away from the rest of the world, unfazed by its troubles. You still had to be cautious around them. They did not like intruders in their domain and could be very cunning if it suited them.  

I slowly pull out my sword, not to use it but to be prepared. Moving forward as quietly as I can I stop when a twig cracks under my weight. A human like me wouldn’t have heard the sound this far away but the elf turns his head in my direction and raises a bow, directly aimed at my head. His brows furrow in confusion when he looks at me. Did he expect someone else?  

He moves over to my side so gracefully and quick that I am shocked when his hand tightens around my arm and he slams me against a tree painfully rough. For someone who looked so innocent and beautiful he had way too much strength.  

“What are you doing here, human?” He hisses at me, malice laced in his voice. It was obvious that he did not like my presence here.  

“I…I was passing by…just passing by.” His harsh words caught me off guard and all I can get out is a mix of stuttered words.  

“Be quiet.”  

“But you asked!”  

“Human! Shut your mouth this instant if you don’t want to die a painful death.”  

At first I thought he was threatening me but then I heard it. Drums banging in the dark of night. The sound of war and destruction coming closer. I had heard it before. Orcs where on their way. It was a dreadful noise, one I had hoped never to hear in my life time but here it was again.  

“What are they doing here?”  

“I was about to find out when you stumbled in here with the gracefulness only humans posses, like a drunk troll trying to catch it’s pray.”

 "Excuse me?!“ 

“No, you are not excused human.”  

I began to wonder if they truly lived out here in the woods on their own decision or if everyone else had just been fed up with them. This guy made me furious. How could one person be so breathtakingly annoying in such a short amount of time? He was rude, plain and simple rude.  

“My name’s Y/N.” I say stubbornly.

“I do not care for your name.”  

“Fine. What’s your name then? I could call you rude elf but I have a feeling you wouldn’t like that.”  

“Thranduil and now be…”  

There was a loud growl behind us and I saw myself face to face with one of the biggest orcs I had ever seen. The will to fight quickly left my body and was replaced by fear as my sword slipped from my grip and landed on the floor.  

“Move!” I finally stop staring at the thing and look over to Thranduil who is frantically pulling at my wrist in an attempt to get me to move. I didn’t even notice until now.  

My feet finally start to move and he pulls me away with him just as the orc’s sword hits the spot where I stood only seconds ago.  

We’re dashing through the woods and I have troubles to keep up. I can hardly make anything out. It’s dark and cold. I spot a bush or tree stump from time to time but that’s it. Everything looks the same, trees all around me. I hope he knows where we are going because I certainly don’t.

I’m completely out of breath when we finally stop. Looking around, I can make out the outlines of a small cave.  

“Do you…” Two deep breaths to calm my racing heart and pump some air into my lungs, “Do you know where we are?”  


“No? But you’re an elf, you know everything about your forest!”  

“We’re not in my realm anymore, human.”  

“Y/N.” I mumble, knowing full well he won’t use it anyway, “What should we do now?” I ask in a whiney tone, having lost all strength and determination on the way.  

“We stay until the sun rises, the orcs should be gone by then. Do us all a favour and don’t speak until then.”  

How is it possible that I find the most cranky elf in all of history on my first visit here and manage to get stuck with him for the night? Was my luck really as bad as everyone always told me?

I feel kinda sorry for bitter kcers who hated Cami right off the bat and dismissed her as a replacement for Caroline.

You missed out on an amazing, strong female character. Adorable, smart, funny and brave. She never lost sight of who she was.

And you missed out on seeing what Klaus actually looks like when he’s in love. His love for Cami made me like him after years and years of hating him. She makes him gentle, soft, human. Well, Cami and Hope and Hayley have all done that. But Cami was a very important part.

So, yeah, your loss, stubborn shippers. Cami and Klamille were amazing.

About Time // Prologue

| Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 8.5 |

Type/Genre: Alternate Universe, (Time Travel!au? idk)

Ratings: undefined

Warnings: Implied violence scene

Prompts: “What if you find your soulmate… at the wrong time?” - Lauren Kate, Passion

Summary: Be careful for what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true. What would you do when your wish for a second chance actually came true? But was it really a fulfilled wish? Too many questions lie when it actually happened. Were they real memories? Or perhaps a part of a past life? Was it only a dream all along? Will everything be different this time?

a/n: This is one of the oldest fic I wrote but I took it down because I was highly unhappy about it so I rewrite the whole thing. It might be confusing at first, but I hope it will clear up on the next chapters.

Originally posted by won-der-land89

= Prologue =

Each and every single human being in this world always wants something. We always have our wishes for our own selfishness.

We wish for a good life.

We wish for love.

We wish for happiness.

We wish for second chances.

Second chance.

That was what I wished for.

The one thing I prayed for every night before I sleep. The one thing I prayed for, at the very night before I woke up in an entirely different life.

A new life.

My second chance.

I dreaded my life.

I was 30 years old. I have lost all kinds of connection to my parents. I have lost everything, my love, my hope and my dreams. And I could feel my whole life slipping away, taking pieces of my soul as it withered to ashes. I cried constantly until I reached to a point where I could no longer find any will to release the pain burning inside of me.

I was 30 years old when I felt numb. When I lost the love that I used to have towards life. When all I could feel was exhaustion.

I was 30 years old when I closed my eyes that night with a loud cry of ‘I don’t want this life anymore’.

I was 30 years old when I fell asleep.

I was 15 years old when I opened my eyes the next day.

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Clarke’s Journey, a Rough Meta

I wanted to write a quick and rough meta now that I’ve had time to let the events of 4x09 and 4x10 sink in, and now that I’ve finally come to realize that Clarke’s Journey not only makes sense, but it has also been consistent. 

No, Clarke is not acting out of character. No, Clarke is not regressing; she’s progressing, but her progression isn’t what we, as a fandom overall, thought it was.  

When we first met Clarke, she was your classic heroine: smart, empathetic, caring, stubborn, cunning, idealistic, and strong, but she was also naive. How does a perfect and relatively good character progress in a survivalist series? Does she become a more good and a more idealistic heroine? Ha, of course not, she becomes gray and, while learning to become gray, she had to be dark first. And, a good person has to become very dark at times to learn to be gray. Thus, her worst and best tendencies have been magnified in a world as ruthless as The 100, and she’s learned to harness her darker tendencies to survive, and yes, that’s progression. But, it’s not one that we’re use to seeing in a classic hero’s journey, and it’s not one that an audience can typically empathize with. So, here we are, with fans frustrated at Clarke’s current season 4 arc. 

Let’s rewind things here and look at Clarke’s “progression,” shall we? Perhaps it’ll help to gain perspective on Clarke’s journey. 

In season 1, Clarke overall kept her notions that she was good and that people were overall good, but we started to see cracks in that idealism in season 1. Cracks that started in 1x04 when her moment of righteous anger fueled the mob lynching of John Murphy. It was at this moment that Clarke realized that humans could be terrifying and they could be dark, something Bellamy understood all to well because of his first-hand experience of suffering that evil on the Ark…something Clarke had not really experienced for herself, which made her realize she needed someone like Bellamy, someone who had already experienced the darkness and had harnessed it himself at the beginning of season 1. And so, Clarke’s world started to change in “Murphy’s Law,” and it only progressed from there as she became more ruthless that season in order to survive, but still, she overall maintained her belief that she was the good guy and that her people were the good guys.  

Season 2, on the other hand, was a slow progression and a cutting away of the Clarke we first met. Each action she took to ensure the survival of her people made her into a darker and darker person, a the-ends-justify-the-means person. However, she still attempted to maintain her belief that she was good and that others could be good, and so she stood up to L.xa in 2x14 and told Lexa that her feelings about Bellamy and Octavia showed Clarke that she couldn’t become a leader as cold and uncaring as L.xa, she couldn’t be a person who felt that the ends justified the means. In that moment, Clarke had technically “regressed” to the idealistic Clarke we knew in season 1, gone back to who she once was, but then L.xa betrayed her and Clarke (in her desperation and pain) amplified her ruthless nature and got herself into a place in which she committed genocide to survive. Therefore, idealistic Clarke died in 2x16. The girl who once believed people could be good, the girl who once believed that SHE could be good, and the girl who once believed that life should be about more than just surviving. That girl. That girl died. 

and we haven’t truly seen her since, not in season 3 and not in season 4. We’ve seen bits and pieces, but only just bits and pieces. 

I saw several CL blogs state that Clarke was regressing when Clarke said in 4x01 that she was all about survival, and then in 4x05 when Clarke said to Roan that her people didn’t need to be happy, they just needed to survive. Some people seem to have this notion that Clarke somehow regained her 2x14 beliefs that life could be about more than just surviving when she fell in love with L.xa in season 3, but I don’t think she ever believed that again, not while she was with L.xa anyway. Nope, it was L.xa who believed it in season 3, not Clarke, not anymore, not after Mt. Weather, and Clarke STILL has not come to truly believe that life can be about more than just surviving. Everything, for her, continues to be about survival, no matter the costs… and yes, for Clarke, the ends do justify the means. 

and, as we’ve seen, she STILL believes this. 

The Clarke we see now is the result of an entire series worth of progression, and it is VERY consistent and it HAS progressed into what we saw of her in 4x09 and 4x10. 

But, we’re finally seeing THAT Clarke crack, the Clarke that has been all about survival and only survival, a character trait that’s been there from the beginning and hasn’t gone away, but has instead evolved into pure ruthlessness, pure betrayal, and pure dishonor. 

We thought Clarke’s ruthlessness was at its highest when she was willing to let her mother die in 3x15, BUT 3x15 hinted that Clarke had one more obstacle to overcome before she became her darkest self. What was that obstacle? It was whether or not she’d be willing to kill Bellamy (the person whose been a guiding light for her, the person who centers her and believes in her, the person she herself believes in and has faith in more than anyone else) to save everyone. Yup, that question and answer was being saved for THIS season. 

Now, we are seeing a culmination of Clarke’s series-long arc. This is her truly hitting rock bottom in a way she has never hit rock bottom before. I think this is her greatest test she has to overcome before she can believe in life again and to believe that the ends don’t justify the means. To kill Bellamy Blake for (what she believes) to be the greater good or not to kill him? If she kills him, she’ll have truly lost her humanity, and there would be no going back for Clarke Griffin. 

So, of course, she isn’t going to kill Bellamy Blake in the next episode. How will it all turn out though? Is she really ready to overcome that last obstacle? Will we begin honestly to see a Clarke who makes the first BIG step towards turning away from her the-ends-justify-the-means and her survival-is-more-important-than-living beliefs? I hope so, and I think so, because even though Clarke has progressed into the Clarke we see in 4x09, 4x10, and in 4x11, she’s also had moments sprinkled throughout season 4 that showed she IS working on living, not just surviving (examples, 4x07 when she relaxed in Becca’s mansion), and that the ends do NOT justify the means (4x08 when she refused to experiment on Emori and experimented on herself instead). Yup, those were meant to be road signs for us (I think) that she was beginning to truly step away from her own darkness. 

Or, that’s how I see it, and this interpretation definitely seems to be aligned with what we’re seeing on our screens. 

So yes, Clarke’s journey has culminated to this next episode. Will Clarke embrace her darkness fully in 4x11 or will she finally, TRUELY, break from it? 

We’ll find out on Wednesday, I think. 

ohdanielsmith  asked:

Okay so 112: why are you bleeding? with James and Thomas back in London

aaaaaaaaa i love them. i’m sorry this took so long. pre-relationship london flinthamilton fliclet. can you believe they’re in love already !!! 

It’s a quiet night. Miranda has gone out for the evening and so Thomas has sequestered himself in his study, pouring over a proposal. It is mind numbing work but he refuses to be defeated by it, even though he is at this point painfully aware of the fact that the words on the page have long ceased to register in his head. The clock in the hallway chimes midnight and Thomas presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, pushing on undeterred by trifling necessities such as sleep. 

It’s a quiet night, until James stumbles in through the door. 

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Happy Birthday BTS

Today, the boys are celebrating 4 years since they’ve debuted and I just want to say congratulations to them. I want to tell the story of how I became a BTS fan and how they have affected me. It might be quite long, so read at your own risk. I was relatively new to Kpop, so I became a fan of BTS in 2015, a little after HYYH pt.1. When I first got into Kpop, BTS was not my first group. I had only heard of EXO and I had learned so much about EXO and became familiar with them, that when my friend recommended that I listen to BTS, I was reluctant to do so. I didn’t think I would like BTS as much as I liked EXO at the time, but I thought, “why not?” and gave them a listen. The first music video and song I’ve ever watched of BTS was Dope. And this is gonna sound hella cheesy but that’s exactly what I thought of the video: it was DOPE! But even after deciding that I liked the video, my ignorance of Kpop still pulled me towards EXO. As I became more accustomed to the genre, I began to listen to different groups and songs outside of EXO. I remember watching an EXO vine that featured a song I have never heard before, but I was so intrigued by the song that I went and looked it up. The song ended up being Cypher pt.3 by BTS and that’s when a shifted happened. I am a huge fan of rap and hip-hop and this song had the type of beat the type of hype that I love and I was feeling it 100%. I had never heard anything like this from EXO and it made me want to listen to BTS a lot more. And so I did. Pretty soon I learned a lot about each member and I began to love them just as much as I loved EXO.
When BTS came back with Run, I was extremely excited because this was the first comeback that I was able to be a part of as a fan of BTS. It meant so much to me that I was able to experience the teasers, the promotion period, and the release of the album. As 2015 came to an end and 2016 emerged, my love for BTS had outgrown my love for EXO.
Fast forward to now, BTS is still my number one, even compared to the many Western Artist that I love.
BTS bring out so many emotions within me and there are no amount of words that could describe how I feel about them, or how they make me feel. I have never experienced such strong emotions for a group of people I have never even met or seen in person. BTS work so hard and I can’t help but admire them. I admire their music and their personalities and I have so much respect for them, not as a fan, but as a human being respecting other human beings. I am so glad that I was able to witness their success from when I became a fan, til now because they have accomplished so much. They truly came from nothing, and now they are one of the biggest artists in the world. And during it all, they never lost hope, and they never lost sight of who they are, and where they came from and to me, that is the most amazing thing about them. I love BTS and I pray that they reach an even bigger goal and accomplish more than they already have. I may not have been here from the beginning, but I will be here until the end. Happy 4 year anniversary Bangtan.

It’s Love, Not Gratefulness (Soldier!Shownu x Reader)

Rating: M

(A/N) This was requested by @yoongi-oppa, and boy was a psyched to write this bad boy! (BTW, sorry for taking so long, I was having a really hard time figuring out plot since this is mostly story driven.) I really, really loved writing the plot for this one, I took all my prior and very minimal knowledge of playing Halo and CoD to write this one lmao! Pardon if any terminology is wrong in here, this is probably not how one properly cleans a bullet wound tbh I hope you’ll enjoy this though! 

Originally posted by jooneh

When Shownu was drafted for the war, he didn’t realize it would also be the moment he lost most of his humanity, his compassion.

During boot camp he had been notoriously stoic and quiet, but that was just his personality. He was a man of few words and his superiors saw him as something to conquer, to break. For them he was one of those rare challenges that only come every few years and they tried there hardest to make him suffer. Shownu lasted through those three months of hell only because of his pride and sheer will to defy expectations. He couldn’t say he didn’t have his moments where he caved in on himself, what man didn’t have a few though?

They were only humans, not machines.

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anonymous asked:

What made you ship dazushi? :3 It's a great pairing but yeah only a few ship it T_T

Anon. Anon. Are you sure you want me to answer this question? Because this is going to a never-ending stream of word vomit.

Honestly though, there’s a reason I’m an artist and not a writer, so coherency and eloquence will be null. Also note that I only feel things without knowing why I feel it, and thus have an even tougher time presenting my thoughts. This struggle is going to be evident.

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A threatening kiss

You and Harry are arguing after pictures of him making out with a girl are published online. He claims he’s innocent, but fed up and hurt you make him sleep at a hotel for the night. 

Warning: Hints on mature content

This is a One Shot I have had saved in my drafts for a very long time now and since I haven’t posted in a while, I tried to go over it one more time and then publish it. Please pardon any mistakes, I finished it in one sitting. Thank you for reading and I hope you like it!

Gif is not mine, as I have never gotten this close to the beautiful human that is Harry Styles. 

His hair was a mess after having his ringed fingers furiously pulling on the newly short locks. Harry’s eyes were desperate and reflected his distraught emotions. After having argued for over two hours now, he felt like all hope I might believe his words was lost. He didn’t find it in him to blame me though, there was enough evidence to be held against him. I didn’t look much better myself as I had adapted Harry’s habit of stressed hair pulling. Additional to that came the redness on my cheeks and the stickiness the tears had left on them. My mind and heart raced as I stared at the man standing in front of me. He looked so strange to me now. 

I’d always expected something like this to happen, he was the famous Harry Styles after all. People loved him, wanted to be like or with him and as his girlfriend, I was aware that at some point, I’d be pulled into the mess as well. Some day, someone would try to jeopardize our relationship. However, I had always thought that should it happen, it wouldn’t be real. Maybe a PR stunt his management forced onto him without him knowing or something.
I had never believed that he would come home and tell me that the pictures of him pressed against and kissing a girl, who clearly wasn’t me, were real. The pink lips I was so familiar with had just been tasted by someone else and that was something I could not accept.

“Why can’t you just listen to me?” Harry cried, his voice breaking after being raised for too long.

“Because this is exactly what everyone warned me about when I first started going out with you!”

Sitting down on the couch I buried my face in my hands as I allowed more tears to fall. My entire body jerked as sobs wrecked through me and I shook my head in disbelief.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asked, disappointment evident in his voice.

“It’s what you always do, right? You’re going out with one girl and once you’re sick of her you pick the next in line. I always figured that was a PR thing and that it wouldn’t happen once you were in a serious relationship, but I guess I was wrong.”

“Seriously, Y/N? You can’t just hold what I did before I was with you against me now, that would make you no better than all those damn magazines talking bullshit about me. And besides, that’s not what happened at all! This girl just came on to me!

"Yeah? Well maybe none of this would’ve happened if you’d told your precious fans about us! Maybe you wouldn’t have to fight girls off if they knew that you’re already with someone!”

I knew I was being unfair as we had actually gotten to an agreement on that topic already, but I continued anyway. “But you like that don’t you? That’s why you’re keeping me as your dirty, little secret at home! You love how every girl would throw herself at your feet and kiss them should you ask!”

He shook his head. Harry’s breathing was hectic and he looked as exhausted as I felt. His usually intimidating appearance was shadowed by the glossiness of his green eyes and the hollowness of his cheeks. I felt sick. I knew what my words did to him, but to finally have voiced my darkest fears felt like a weigh being lifted off my chest.

“Look, Harry, I think we’ve argued enough for tonight. I’m done.”

He stared at me silently before nodding. “Alright. We should just talk about it tomorrow.”

“No,” I breathed, repetitively clenching and unclenching my fists. “I’m done with this mess. I want- I need a break.”

Harry’s eyes followed my movements as I got up and brushed past him on my way to the kitchen. When my shoulder brushed against his arm I felt as if the contact burned my skin. The meal I had prepared before the yelling had begun was now a mess and littered all over. The pieces of his plate lay still shattered on the floor while my food rested untouched and I quickly decided that I would only clean the worst of it tonight and leave the rest for tomorrow.

“What are you saying? You- You’re breaking up with me?” Harry’s voice sounded small from behind me and my heart broke at the noise.

It was the complete opposite from how he had spoken to me only minutes ago, all quiet and uncertain. I sighed and leaned against the sink.
I knew Harry loved me and god knows I loved him more than anything else, but I couldn’t deny the pain I felt when I first saw the pictures. The disappointment cursing through my veins when he confirmed that they were real. The taste of vomit made its way up my throat by the mere thought of his lips pressed to hers. His hands touched the skin of her waist, the tight crop-top exposing more than I ever wore out of the house, as her own hands fisted in his hair. And no matter how much he swore his faithfulness and devotion to me, he didn’t feel like mine anymore.

“I’ll stay at a hotel for the night.”

Within three strides he reached me and turned me to face him with gentle touches to my cheeks. His green eyes stared intensely into mine, making my knees go weak. I pressed back hard against the cold stone, uncomfortable by his sudden closeness.

“You want away from me that desperately?”

I carefully pried his hands from my face. “Yes. I’m sorry, Harry, but I want some time away from you.”

Tears shot to his eyes, drowning their green in pain. A sob left his mouth and I had to look away. Watching Harry cry hurt more than anything else had tonight. It felt wrong, seeing a person who was usually so confident and had happiness shining from his eyes looking at me with such utter sadness.

“Y/N,” Harry whispered, “Please. I- I know I fucked up badly. But I swear to you I didn’t cheat. I never would. Do you really believe I would ruin us for someone else?” he shook his head forcefully. “You’re the most important person in my life. Please, I beg of you-”

He moved to touch me again but I quickly raised both hands and pushed him away hard, a gesture that wouldn’t have done much given his height and strength, but it was Harry, and Harry reacted to my discomfort. He pulled away instantly and took a few strides back.

“Y/N,” he murmured, defeated. “will you not hear me out? Please.”

“I have and I can’t any longer, Harry,” I exhaled desperately. My hands rubbed the skin beneath my eyes to wipe away any wetness left on the skin. “Even looking at you doesn’t feel the same anymore. You kissed her! I can’t even say it without feeling like I’ll have to vomit! This is too much for me, can’t you see that?”

Harry looked as if I had hit him right across his face. His cheeks were red and his mouth open in shock. He tried to reach me again but seemed to change his mind and he let his hands drop to his sides.

“From the day we met, I have done nothing but love you! I’ve put you first, I sacrificed so much and this is what I get? How is that fair? Tell me ‘cause I’m stumped!”

“Listen to me,” he spoke in an urgent tone. His pleading came unexpected as I had gotten used to him screaming at me with nothing but anger in his voice.

“I’ll leave. Okay? I promise not to come back until you ask me to. I’ll give you time,” his voice cracked and he coughed, “away from me. But please, stay here. I need to know you’re safe.”

His eyes searched my face and widened when I nodded. Sleeping at a hotel somewhere in London wasn’t something I was exactly eager to do and since the entire argument was all his fault in my eyes, it may as well be him who suffers the consequences. Though the whole situation did cause me suffering as well.

“Fine,” I agreed quietly.

“I’ll get a few things and then I’ll be gone.”

He looked like he had hoped I’d say something along the line of a request to make him stay, but I only nodded again and watched as he slowly left the kitchen. I didn’t move, even when I heard him rummaging in our drawers and the zipper of a bag being pulled. The pit of my stomach felt like a vacuum, an empty space that pushed all my organs out its way to fill my body with uneasiness. Soon Harry was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, fully dressed and with his bag over his shoulder.

“I’ll… ehm… I’ll go now. You’ll be alright?”

“I think so,” I croaked.

We stared at each other for a minute. His lips partnered as he bit back so much he had to say, before deciding against it.

“Can I ask one thing from you before I go?”

I hesitated but nodded. Harry sighed and clenched and unclenched his hands.

“Kiss me? I don’t want to leave without one more kiss from you.”

The desperation in his voice caught my attention and kept me from shouting at him for even asking. I understood that he didn’t ask out of lust for me or so that he could prove a point. His eyes pleaded me to let him have one reminder as he feared I would decide to end our relationship while he was absent.

“Just one,” I murmured and forced myself not to step back as he approached me.

Harry carefully touched my cheek and whimpered upon feeling how sore my skin was. I reached my own arms up as he gently nudged my nose with his before leaning in further until his warm mouth met mine. I whined in surprise as he didn’t go slow like he usually did, but pushed his tongue against my lips in order to get me to open them the second they pressed against his. Harry cradled my face in both hands to keep me from moving away as he guided the kiss. Just as I felt myself loosing to him he pulled away.
His eyes stared at me as if he tried to speak through them, but before I could say anything he turned and exited the room.
I jumped when I heard the door slam shut forcefully. My heart ached at the faint sound of his car pulling up on the street as he drove away, leaving me alone in our big and empty home. It took less than ten minutes of him gone before the events of the night came crushing down on me, causing hysterical cries to leave my mouth as I crouched down on the floor. I didn’t bother quieting my sobs and allowed myself to be absorbed in my hurt. At first it surprised me that none of our neighbors came to check up on me, but it soon occurred to me that they had most likely heard Harry and I argue and seen him drive away. A sudden fear crept through me and I jumped to my feet. As it was very late it had got dark outside a long time ago. I knew how crazy the Londoner streets around our house got by this hour and I instantly reached for my phone. How could I have made him drive? My heart ached at the thought of something happening to him; I wouldn’t be able to bare it. Before my fingers could dial the familiar phone number, I stopped. I was acting foolish and simply tried to invent a reason for me to call him back. His presence was already missed dearly.
I made my way up to our bathroom, undressed and stepped into the shower. Hot water touching my skin always washed away any tension, today however, it did little to calm me. At least it killed time. Once dressed I grabbed a blanked and curled up on the couch, but it felt much too big without a second body there. I uncomfortably stretched my limps and after flipping through various channels I switched the TV off. I rested one of my hands against my forehead and momentarily closed my eyes.

Think Y/N. Think. What are the facts?

Harry had kissed a girl that wasn’t me. He had betrayed me in the most hurtful way and had gone against the one promise he’d made me he swore was as sacred to him as it was to me. He cheated. Another cry left my lips and I cursed my eyes for letting more tears fall as an image of him having sex with her shot through my head. My stomach turned. My Harry laying bare on a bed for someone who wasn’t me? I had always hated to as much as imagine him with women before we started dating, but to think of him sleeping with someone else while he had me was something entirely else. Unimaginable almost.

I decided he couldn’t have. Though I had believed him kissing someone else was impossible, too, sex was an entirely different department and I knew he would never cross that line. After all, he did tell me about it. He came home and immediately owned up to everything.
It had hurt just as much as I imagined hearing it through the media would have, but his honesty still meant a lot to me.

His reaction could have been a better one, though. The second I had began questioning him for details about how exactly the girl had gotten to be in a position this close to him, he raised his voice. I understood his anger at my doubts in him, but how could he possibly blame me? There were pictures for god’s sake! And they didn’t exactly show him particularly disgusted to be making out with a fan.
But what if his loud reaction had been his desperation shining through as he tried to show me how scared he was of losing us?

“Oh, Harry,” I whispered. “What are you doing to me.”

Maybe what I had said earlier was true. This happened because no one knew he had a girlfriend. Girls wouldn’t push themselves at him anymore once they knew, right? Okay, some might, but I knew there were fans who respected the girlfriends. And maybe what he had said was true, too. That he had always been faithful to me and didn’t deserve to be doubted by me. If only I could have collected my emotions and let him explain himself better.
I loved him so much. Too much maybe.
One glance to the clock told me that Harry had now been gone for over three hours already. The ache in my chest increased and I missed my boyfriend’s presence more and more by the second. I unlocked my phone and opened his chat where my fingers quickly flew over the keys.

Come home?

His answer came so quickly it made me smile in relief and picture him sitting beside his phone all night, awaiting a message from me.

You sure?

My phone buzzed again before I could reply.

Never mind. Don’t tell me. I’m on my way.

And again.

I’ll be there in 30. I love you. xx

Warmth spread through my body and I smiled. I patted the pillow I rested my head on and sighed happily, knowing that he’d be back soon. For the first time this evening, I felt at ease.



I felt a hand on my shoulder and then one pressed against my hips. My head felt dizzy and my eyes too heavy to fully open as I was lifted up and scooped into Harry’s arms.

“Why were you sleeping down here, baby? Did you forget our incredibly comfortable bed upstairs?” Harry softly chuckled.

“Mhmm,” I hummed, nuzzling his neck, finding comfort in his warmth. My heart swelled and I felt like I could finally breathe again as my chest pressed against his when he pulled me against himself tightly.

“I can’t believe you fought me to leave you the bed and sleep somewhere else, only for you to take the couch. Makes no sense, love, does it?”

Harry smiled when the only answer he received from me was a whine. He carried me upstairs and gently placed me on our soft mattress. Careful fingers unzipped the thin material I wore over my shirt before he slid off my sweats, leaving me in just the shirt and a pair of knickers. All of a sudden his presence was gone again.

“Harry?” I called out for him as I propped myself up on my elbows.

“I’m gonna sleep in the guest room, my angel” his quiet voice hummed from somewhere in the room.

“Why?” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my voice. I had expected us to be fine now and him to cuddle with me. My mind was too tired to think about any more reasons to argue with him. I longed for this to become one of the quiet and comfortable nights we always had.

“You said you needed space, my love. Wanted away from me, remember?”

I could particularly hear his pout in his voice before a chuckle rumbled through the room when I vigorously shook my head. My shoulders relaxed as I noticed how calm he seemed.

“I changed my mind,” I whined and sat up, reaching both arms out into the direction I believed him standing since the darkness prevented me from actually seeing him. “Come here. Need you to make me warm again.”

Harry didn’t make any noise. I hated not seeing him and sighed as my eyes finally adjusted to the darkness. He stood near the door, an expression of hesitation on his face. There was a small smile playing on his lips, however, and I could see the relief in his eyes upon my request of him staying with me.
He didn’t move fast, as if he was expecting me to change my ming any second, but my breath hitched when I felt the bed dip under the weight of another body. Harry crawled onto his side of the bed, pulling the covers higher over the both of us. He sprawled out beside me and his eyes locked with mine.

“Hi,” he murmured quietly.

I reached out my hand and he entwined our fingers. I smiled when he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my knuckles. A giggle escaped his lips when I pulled at his hand, motioning him to move closer to me. Following my silent request he pushed himself up and laid his body down closer to mine, close enough for me to feel the warmth radiating off of him.

“Hey,” I breathed.

We stared at each other. His green eyes were clear and lightly swollen, telling me that he had cried at least as much as I did.

“I’m so sorry,” he promised in a low whisper.

I shook my head to silence him.

“Harry,” I breathed, brushing his hair from his forehead. “You know you mean the world to me. I want nothing less than to lose you, you must know that.”

“I don’t want to lose you either, Y/N,” Harry spoke and leaned forward to bury his nose against my shoulder and in my hair.

“You’ve proven me often enough that I can trust you,” I continued and reached up one hand so that I could caress his neck.
“Tell me your side of the story,” I suggested, “I’ll listen properly this time and will believe you, whatever it is you tell me.”

“Okay,” Harry agreed and tugged on my hand, followed by giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I was at Sainsbury’s to get your tea like you asked me to, when all of a sudden this girl showed up and she just grabbed my face and began kissing me. She fisted my hair and shirt so I couldn’t get her off of me without hurting her, which I obviously didn’t want to do either. I really had to push her several times before she lessened her grip, but of course that wasn’t until some damn photographer’s took pictures of it. I’m so sorry,” he choked on the last word, “Y/N I never meant for you to get hurt like this. I know what it looks like. But I swear to you, the kiss wasn’t mutual. I didn’t kiss back and I haven’t seen the girl since, nor would I ever want to! I’m so sorry. Please believe me.”

A sob left his lips and I shuddered as wet tears dripped onto my neck.

“Sh, Harry, it’s okay,” I tried to reassure him.

“No it’s not, I mean look at you. You’re hurt and you’ve been crying. And I yelled at you when you aren’t the one who made the mistake. I’m such an asshole. ”

“That’s not true, Harry. You’re nothing like an asshole. At all.”

Harry sniffled and pulled back so he could look at me. The back of my hands moved up to brush over his temples before taking hold of his face.

“I love you so much,” I told him. “You didn’t to anything wrong. I should have believed you in the first place instead of doubting you. You’ve always been faithful to me, a picture shouldn’t have been able to ruin all that.”

I gently stroke over his eyelid with the tip of my finger. The skin felt sore and I sighed sadly.
“I’m sorry I caused you so much pain.”

His hands held my waist and pulled me against him. Harry shuffled further down and pressed his head against my shoulder. I rested my chin on his head and kissed his hair. I felt him breath heavily as if he wanted to say something and couldn’t find the words. Finally all he said was:

“I love you.”

“Love you, too, Harry” I whispered.

Silence settled upon us and I felt like there was nothing more we could say, but we didn’t fall asleep full. Harry didn’t move until the very early morning. It was only then that he allowed me to move my arms from around his shoulders to around his waist as he crawled up to lay closer by the headboard.

“M'gonna tell the world about us tomorrow,” he murmured, “Want everyone to know that m'taken.”

I sighed and nodded. “Please do.”

We stayed cuddled like that for several more hours before he rolled over me. His mouth found mine in a slow kiss and his hands reached down to pull at the hem of my knickers. We didn’t bother taking off my shirt or completely pushing down his boxers, only freeing what was needed.
I kissed him tenderly and blindly reached behind him to pull the covers over both of our heads.

Thank you so much for reading! Feedback is always welcome and so are requests, though I’m quite busy at the moment and it will take me some time to finish anything I start new right now. 

The rest of what I wrote you can find here: