never knew home had a scent (until I stole your sweater)
aka First time moving in together
IS PART OF A SERIES. IT WILL MOST LIKELY MAKE SENSE BY ITSELF BUT JUST A
Cassian x Reader
Series Summary: Cassian and Reader Firsts – from meeting each other to the first time, first kiss, first fight, first “I love you”, to their (first) last breaths (maybe…that might be too depressing)
Time Cassian and Reader have known each other: 1 year
Prompt: Anonymous- “firsts” for cassian x reader please?!? (like first date, first kiss, first fight etc) :-))
Author’s notes: I am sorry this is so late! I got home from work and had to finish editing to make sure it was perfect. So yes. Here you go. Also I LOVE MENS CLOTHING IT’S
SO COMFY AND BIG AND WONDERFUL ESPECIALLY WHEN IT SMELLS LIKE THEM. Hope you enjoy!
You and Cassian were best friends again. Well best friends who were secretly in love with each other, but best friends nevertheless. Your lives were back to normal. It had been a few months since your fall out and you were stronger than ever.
Everything was going relatively well between the two of you until Kay decided to blow up part of the base, by accident he claimed.
It all began with a sweater. Cassian’s sweater to be exact.
A tiny explosion on base (which was totally Kay’s fault) caused everyone to be thrown out of their respective rooms at three in the morning.
Everyone arrived in the hangar in various states of undress.
Many were wearing robes, some were actually dressed, and a few were in just boxers.
You shuffled out of your room wearing one of Cassian’s sweaters you had “confiscated” a few months ago. It was big on you and hung down below your knees. You had the sleeves rolled numerous times yet they were still long enough to fall over your hands.
“…Is that my sweater?” You heard a soft voice behind you.
Lazily looking down at your outfit you chuckled, “That it is.”
You turned around to face Cassian, “Are those my slippers?”
“Yes. Can I ask why you’re wearing it?”
You tilted your head confused at his statement, “What?”
“The sweater. My sweater. Why are you wearing it?”
You definitely blame your sleepy brain for your next response, “It makes me feel safe.”
After a beat of silence and a slight quirk of Cassian’s mouth, you realized what you had said. Stumbling over your words you frantically spit out, “Nope I didn’t say that. Ignore that.”
Cassian smile took up his whole face. He looked you up and down before his eyes widened, “Wait. Isn’t that the sweater I was looking for months ago?”
“Y/N!” Cassian exclaimed, “I asked you for weeks what
happened to it! I can’t believe you had it all this time. Have you taken
anything else I’ve been looking for?!”
You scoffed, lightly blushing, “What no of course not why would I ever do that….?”
Lies. You always wore his clothes. His shirts to bed. His pants during cold days. His sweatshirts. You loved his shirts and sweaters the best. They smelled like him. They made you feel safe. You loved being able to cuddle up at night tucked in something that reminded you of him. You loved falling asleep surrounded by his scent. Especially if you were feeling particularly down or sad, his scent would wrap you in a cocoon of safety until you relaxed.
Before Cassian could comment at your clearly ridiculous response you heard your name screamed.
“Y/N! Cassian! Did you hear me? You’re rooming together. Alright everyone get to bed you have jobs to do in the morning.”
You looked at Cassian in confusion, “Wait rooming together?”
It turns out that the explosion, the one Kay had definitely caused, had knocked out the heat and power in half the rooms on base. Thus General Draven had to assign everybody rooms to double up on.
who did you end up with? Cassian. Because
of course you did.
You weren’t as freaked as you thought you were going to be. You and Cassian had practically shared each other’s rooms for the past year, just not officially. Both of your closets were filled with each other’s clothes. Your books were on his nightstand. His mission reports were on your desk. You would have to run to his room early in the morning when you realized you had left something there. And Cassian would come knocking late at night asking for something as he left on a mission.
As you straightened up your room making space for Cassian, your heart was beating out of your chest. You laid on the bed your brain racing. You weren’t sure if this was going to end well, but you really didn’t have a choice in the matter. Would you be able to live with Cassian feeling the way you were feeling? Cassian and you still hadn’t had that dreaded conversation about your kiss all those months ago. You had both been putting it off for obvious reasons.
You didn’t want to fuck up your friendship.
Breaking you out of your thoughts, Cassian came stumbling through the door. He was lugging only one bag.
“I think the rest of my stuff is already here?”
You smiled pointing toward the closet.
To say Cassian was ecstatic to be moving into your room was an understatement. He had been waiting for a moment like this. He had been sitting on his feelings for so long he was ready to do something about them. He just didn’t know how. But now that he was here in your room, a room that was the closest thing to home he had ever known. He knew he was ready. Moving into your room had given him the chance he needed to tell you how he really felt.
The second he entered your room he felt a sweeping warmth of love. You lay, still wearing his shirt, curled up on your bed. The second your eyes met his, your face lit up into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Dropping his bag, he quickly joined you on the bed, snuggling into your covers and breathing in your scent.
you clearly always wear my clothes to bed.” Cassian said. Your eyes were
closed, but you could just hear the
smirk on his face.
You propped yourself up on one arm and rolled over to face him. “What would make you think that?”
“Oh I don’t know. Maybe it’s my rebel spy skills. Maybe I’m a genius. Or maybe it’s because there’s a huge pile of my clothes in your laundry bin. So you’re going to wear my sweater tonight?”
“Nope. No problem. Good night Y/N.” Cassian said reaching out to brush your hair back from your face.
You smiled leaning into his hand, “Goodnight Cassian.”
Living with Cassian was easy. You complimented each other perfectly. You showered at night. He would shower in the morning. He would leave the book he was reading open on the table. And you would make sure to mark his page so he wouldn’t lose his place. You would fall asleep at your desk working late at night on mission reports. And Cassian would make sure to carry and tuck you into bed.
You thought it would be weird. But it wasn’t. You were fine with sharing a bed, because you had done it so frequently over the past year.
There was the tiny problem that you were head over heels in love with him. But you set a rule for yourself to curb that issue.
That rule prohibited you from cuddling with him.
However, clearly your subconscious had different ideas. You made sure not to act on your feelings when you were awake, but somehow you subconscious thought that was stupid.
Every morning you would wake up tangled with Cassian. Sometimes on top of him. Sometimes facing him. Sometimes facing away from him with his arm over your waist. And it was the best sleep you ever had. Nothing was better than having someone you loved sleeping next to you.
Because of this you would try to move yourself as far away from possible from Cassian. But it seemed the further you moved away, the closer you would end up to him.
Cassian noticed the day after he moved in that you had stopped wearing his clothes. He tried to get you to wear something, but you would ignore him. He would even purposefully leave out a shirt that you could wear, but you never touched it. As the days passed you still refused to wear anything of his.
He could tell you missed wearing them.
However, he didn’t plan on saying anything until one night he came home late to find you sleeping restlessly in bed. You tossed and turned and pulled at your shirt.
So the next night when he came home, he handed you one of his shirts and got into bed.
However, instead of putting it on, you dropped it and climbed into bed right next to him.
You decided that fighting yourself wasn’t the right thing to do. So you gave in.
You turned to face him and snuggled into his side, breathing him in.
His arm fell around your body and pulled you in closer.
He slowly stroked your back and you were asleep within a few minutes.
You had something better than Cassian’s clothes. You had Cassian himself.
You would wake up every morning before him. You would lie there just staring at him for a few seconds before having to forcefully drag yourself away from his body. Sometimes if you were brave enough you would run your hand across his face or through his hair. However, you always gave him a kiss on the forehead before you quickly scurried out of the room.
Little did you know that Cassian was awake every morning. The second you left he would open his eyes and smile.
Though rooming together was perfect, along with all the wonderful memories came the more… unusual ones.
Cassian and you quickly made a pact to never tell anybody what crazy things happened in your room.
Unusual occurrence #1:
You had a strange habit of going out of your way to do things.
when you approached the problem of getting something off the top of the shelf
in your bedroom you didn’t do it the normal way.
You decided to do something you had only ever done once in your life.
After stomping over to the training room, you entered the air vent on the far side. A short climb later and the vent dropped you off right into your room, above your shelf.
Hanging halfway out of the vent to grab what you needed from the top of your shelf, you flinched when the door to your room opened.
You slipped slightly, “Fuck.”
You heard a sigh, “I thought we were done with air vents Y/N. Didn’t you learn your lesson last time you got stuck?”
“Bite me.” You growled, grabbing what you needed and climbing back into the vent.
You swore you heard Cassian mumbling, “gladly”, but you had to have been mistaken.
Unusual Occurrence #2:
You usually weren’t in your room during the day. You typically had a shit ton of work to do around the base either in the intelligence center or the hangar.
But somehow you had found yourself going back to your room in the middle of the afternoon.
You were exhausted. You hadn’t slept well last night. You were worried General Draven was keeping something important from you. So you decided to pack up early and go back to your room for a mid afternoon nap.
However, when you opened the door you froze.
There was Cassian. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, playing a guitar and singing to a group of happily beeping droids.
His head shot up and he abruptly stopped playing. The droids beeped angrily and rolled toward you aggressively pushing you out of the door.
“Um….I guess I’ll come back later?”
Unusual occurrence #3:
Cassian was proud to say that he had never been truly surprised by anything you had done. And you had done a lot of weird shit.
That all ended the day he walked in on you dressed in a poofy sleeved princess wedding dress looking positively miserable.
Your arms were crossed and you were scowling at the woman who was flittering around you like an excited chicken.
“Beautiful!” The woman exclaimed in a thick accent. She pulled your arms down, but you quickly crossed them again, “No!” She scolded.
You pouted and the woman turned around, catching sight of Cassian standing frozen in the door, “Husband?”
Cassian saw you freeze and then slowly turn to face him. Your face was devoid of color and your mouth wide open.
“Yes?” Cassian asked, just as you screamed, “No!”
The woman tsked, “I see. I shall leave you.” And then she was gone.
Cassian opened his mouth, but you beat him to it.
“Don’t say a fucking word.”
Cassian nodded and then backed slowly out of the room.
Unusual occurrence #4:
After walking in on Cassian singing to a group of droids you didn’t think it could get any weirder than that.
You were wrong.
Nothing beat the night you came home to find Cassian sitting on the floor wearing one of your shirts. Though that wasn’t even the weirdest part. Kay was blow drying his hair.
The shirt was so tight on him you didn’t know how he could even move.
Before you could even ask, Cassian cut you off.
“All my shirts are wet?” He said shrugging confidently.
“But why is Kay blow drying your hair?”
Cassian looked guilty, “I may have exploded the washing machine?”
Kay began shooing you out the door by blasting you with blow dryer, “But wait! That doesn’t explain why Kay is blowing drying your hair?”
A few weeks later the base was back to normal and everyone began moving back to their own rooms.
but Cassian, that is.
Cassian was nervous. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to continue living with you. So he decided that he would just act like he didn’t know he was supposed to move back. He still hadn’t made a move so he had to stay.
A day passed. Cassian was still there. A week passed. He was still there.
It was weeks later.
Everybody had already moved back into their rooms, but Cassian was still in yours.
He didn’t seem to be going anywhere.
And you didn’t care.
A week later you walked into the room to see Cassian standing next to two packed bags.
“You- um… you don’t have to leave. “ You said.
Cassian smiled, “I know.”
Your brows furrowed glancing down at his bags.
“I’m going on a mission. I’ll be back next week.”
“Oh. Right. I’ll see you soon?”
He nodded and you stepped forward pulling him into a hug. He buried his face in your hair, holding onto you tight.
And then he was gone.
The next few days were torture. Sleeping without Cassian for the first time in weeks was horrible. You had gotten so used to his warmth that your bed felt cold and empty without him.
wearing his shirts wasn’t working.
However, you didn’t have long to deal with it, because a few days later Draven called you in for a new mission.
A big mission.
An undercover mission.
“Five months?!” You exclaimed staring at Draven in disbelief.
Draven nodded, “You have two hours and then you’re gone.”
You left the room in shock. A five-month mission. And Cassian wasn’t even on base. You couldn’t say goodbye. You wouldn’t see him for five months. Five months.
You thought back to your last moment with him. His arms tight around you. Your face buried into his chest. You held onto that moment as you packed up your ship and headed off on your mission, your chest tight with anticipation and longing.
Next up: how
can I live without you (when it makes me feel as if I lost a part of myself) aka First time separated for 5 months