i have just ruined my life again by making this

Writing prompts

This is my first go at these, hope they can inspire you


“You dare to look me in the eye and tell me I’m beautiful? Why couldn’t you have just beat me down like everybody else?”

“You don’t need my help. You’re perfectly capable of ruining it on your own.”

“I’m not crying.”

“You lied to me!”

“That’s rather impressive. Now look me in the face and tell me again.”

“I don’t make promises anymore. I can’t let people down that way.”

“Life’s too short to be wasting my time on people like you.”

“And to think I once loved you.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

“This is the last time I will be walked over.”

ok anyone with tinnitus listen up

so i’ve been having tinnitus for about a month (or more) known this is just my way of coping with it and actually making it stop a bit

so for starters i had the same thoughts as anyone else with tinnitus 

“i’m never gonna hear silence again”

“it’s gonna ruin my life”

“it will get worst” etc.

but please don’t think that way AT ALL. the thing i do is basically trick my brain i guess you can say hehe. what i do is i tell my self “yeah i may never hear silence again but that’s ok, it might even get better” think positive things don’t panic or have anxiety attacks (like i have done) because you have to remember tinnitus is your nerves that is messed up and it’s already in overdrive so panicking, feeling nervous, having anxiety will only make it worst because the nerves will act up even more

another thing is (and i want you to do) is just walk around your house for a moment and listen to the noises you hear coming form electronics, machines, nature sounds, etc. notice how everyday those are noises that’s naturally tuned out, that you don’t even notice? treat your tinnitus like that. now I’m not saying it will happen in a day because It will take time but pretend your tinnitus is the refrigerator  sound or a sound from your laptop etc, i pretend my tinnitus is the air conditioner it it helps! my tinnitus is tuned out and even before bed it’s like nothing to me so now I’m catching up on sleep :) just don’t think of it as tinnitus think of it as “that noise i hear in the background everyday that i never notice”

another thing is distracting yourself! try everything you absolutely can to distract yourself from it. at night i use  often read or will just think about the most random things or i would close my eyes and imagine things. i would even pinch my arm and think like “no, don’t think about tinnitus!” lol i would scold myself. mostly i would listen to music, get on the laptop, dance, sing, beat box (I’m so horrible at it XD) whatever just to take my mind off of it. 

so i do that and noticed it’s like i forget my tinnitus for DAYS. always remember that you have a life, don’t let tinnitus control it or hold it make. overcome it

if you guys have any questions about tinnitus or questions about my tinnitus please just inbox 

MANIA- SIDEMEN FANFIC PART 4

“After what happened with Mike?” Simon scoffs and I shake my head.

“I was seventeen. We were young and it was a one time thing. I’m not trying to date your best friend, he’s the one who was making a move at me.” I explain as he tries to walk away from me.

“I told him he’d have to ask you so he did and you said no, but I wanted you to know that my first response was, not because I got scared. I just don’t wanna fuck up again.” I admit and he turns around.

“I don’t wanna ruin your life or mums or dads. I don’t wanna be the problem child. They sent me to live with you because Johnny and Nick said no. You barely even said yes. I mean I’m just a big hassle for everyone so maybe when Harry seemed to not care I got excited. He didn’t see me as a burden like everyone else does.”

“I mean Johnny and Nick said no.” I clench my hand into a fist as I try not to cry even more, but it gets very hard to stay sober.

“And they’re my big brothers. They’d walk us home from school everyday and watch me while mum and dad were at work. And they didn’t want to deal with me. You were the last hope Si and you almost gave up. I don’t want everyone to give up on me.” I break down as I get all of these feelings off my chest.

“Im not giving up on you okay? I’m not going anywhere. You’re not leaving anytime soon, but I think anything between you and Harry has to wait.”

“I wanna go lie down.” I wipe my eyes with my sleeves as I walk from the kitchen to his room. I pull the covers over my body and I keep a pillow close to my face.

“Steph should I call the doctor?” He asks.

“No I’m just upset. I’m not gonna do anything. I just wanna sleep.”

“Okay go to bed it’s late.”

“You ready to go? Mum and dad are waiting for us.” Simon asks and I shrug while pulling my hood over my head and turning to face the wall .

“Silent treatment?” He asks and I try not to answer but I look over and shake my head.

“What’s wrong Steph? It’s almost Christmas, smile.” He looks at me with a cheery face and I shrug.

“I don’t wanna see them Simon. I wanna stay home. They don’t want me to be there. I wanna stay home. Vik can watch and make sure I take my medication. I just don’t wanna see them. I can’t do it.”

“It’s family Steph.”

“No I can’t do it. I’m scared and I can’t look them in the eyes and let them see the marks on my arms. I can’t do it Simon. I don’t wanna mess up and it’s too soon.” I admit and he paces back and forth.

“Vik is going home and so are the others. The only person I know is staying is Freezy.” He sighs and I nod.

“Can you ask if he’ll let me stay with him?”

“He’s gonna say yes so yes but don’t give him a hard time or I’ll have him drive you to me.” He threatens and I open up my arms signaling for him to come close. He sits down next to me and pulls me into a hug.

“I’m gonna go head out can I trust you to wait until Cal gets here and actually do what you have to do?” He asks and I nod.

“Love you.” He grabs his bag and leaves me sitting under the covers all comfy. I scroll through my phone in silence for a while until I hear the door open.

“Okay so Freezy sent me here because he knows I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” I look over and I see Harry with his arms up while a smile plastered over his face.

“So are you gonna get out of the bed?” He asks and I shake my head.

“No come on let’s not do this. I don’t wanna have to call Simon.” He walks closer and I hold out my phone to him.

“This was my first boyfriend Mike. This is the reason Simon doesn’t want you and I do see each other.” I watch as his eye scan over the picture of me and Mike at a Leeds football match.

“He died of alcohol poisoning. This party got too insane and I fell asleep on the couch and he was on the floor when I woke up and he wasn’t waking up. After he died I stayed in my room most of the time and barely spoke a word. Then I went to Uni and I snapped and apparently it was because of the bipolar but his death didn’t help that.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes and I shake my head while telling him that it wasn’t his fault.

“I’m gonna just grab my bag and shoes.” I explain as I stand up out of the bed.

“Does Simon know?” I ask and he shakes his head.

“Maybe I shouldn’t go with you. He’s gonna get mad if he knows I’m staying with you.” I

“I’ll call him right now and tell him if it makes you feel better.” He puts it on speaker and I feel my stomach churn.

“Hey so I’m at your place right now. Freezy told me to pick up Steph cause she’s staying with us. Steph wants me to check if you’re okay with her staying at my place now that you know I’m gonna be there.”

“Yeah I trust you not to make a move on her considering I told you not to, but if you do, I’ll probably find out because she can’t keep secrets for shit.”

“Steph you get your stuff im gonna go chat with Simon.” He walks onto the balcony and keep quiet so I can hear what’s being said.

“Why Simon?”

“Harry she’s my baby sister. You jump off roofs for fun.”

“So what? I have a little sister too, but I’m not gonna stop her from dating a guy because he’s stupid.”

“Yeah well I’m protective of her.”

“If someone else asked to go out with her who wasn’t me would you say yes? If another guy, who she met at a bar, asked would you say yes?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then why can’t I take her on a date?”

“You’re a pain in the ass. If I say yes will you give up? Fine date her but I’ll never speak to you again if you mess up.”

“Just realize that she needs someone who is there for her. Someone to realize that she may not get out of bed sometimes but it’s just a part of her life at the moment. She’s not gonna be able to always show up to parties or be your date to events. If you can’t do that, you shouldn’t get her hopes up.”

But he did. He already has my hopes up without even knowing.

anonymous asked:

Creek even has nightmares about the babies just appearing in his apartment. And sometimes he's not sure if they will show up. The babies have ruined his life.

Little kids sometimes check for monsters under the bed. Creek, a fully grown man and certified monster, checks for little kids. This is my favourite kind of karma. He’s getting stalked by babies for Christ’s sake. BABIES.

Meanwhile Poppy’s just over here like “Y’know, maybe we should make amends with Creek. Let’s invite him over for coffee.”

“You just want to shove the kids in his face again and get him uncomfortable.”

“You know me so well and I love you.”

Imagine Miles pursuing things that make him happy. Imagine Miles becoming an elementary school teacher because he loves working with children. Imagine him finally feeling fulfilled from giving back.

Additionally, imagine Miles volunteering at an animal shelter and finding a golden retriever puppy that he falls in love with.

Imagine Miles’ existence having meaning again because he’s bringing joy to other people.

ba-doink and I just finished watching Fate/Zero and I have an irresistable THING for these two dear god. I am a sinner. This is my sinful otp. I am going to hell. I don’t think I have ever felt this guilty about liking two characters in my life this show has ruined me goodbye.

We are now watching Fate/Stay Night and I can’t WAIT to see how these two will make me feel like a piece of shit human being AGAIN.

3

9.07 pm

Sybilla: Well? Are we going to go in? Or are we just going to sit here all night freezing our tits off?
Saffron’s shoulders are shaking. Sybilla thought it was from cold, but it seems that it is from emotion.
Saffron: Syb. What if Teddy and his slut are there? It would ruin the whole night for me. No. It would ruin my whole life.
Sybilla: So? You look stunning. Show him what he’s missing out on-
Saffron: I don’t want to risk it, Syb. I can’t go in. If I ever had to see them together again….I’d be so devastated I’d have to lock myself in my room for the next 6 months. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. See? I have actual tears forming in my eyes. Oh God. Now I’m thinking about them kissing. Now I’m thinking about him putting his beautiful lips next to her skanky mouth. Oh God. Now I’m thinking about her putting her scabby, skanky hand on his beautiful-
Sybilla: Oh my God. You are mental, you are. I cannot believe I’m listening to this-
Saffron: I can’t go in, Syb. I can’t. Oh God. Now I’m getting horrible flashbacks from the first time I saw him with her. That fateful day when all my hopes and dreams were cruelly destroyed forever. Let’s just go. Before I start having a panic attack. Please.
Sybilla: Alright, alright. Man, you’re such a goddamn drama queen. Calm your tits. Anyone would think somebody friggin’ died, for Christ’s sake. 

Actually I think I’m “scared” of being in a love relationship because I have no idea how to everything. How to show them I love them, how to kiss, how to cuddle, etc.. I never experienced that so it makes it harder for me to just go ahead and tell them.. :/
And maybe I’m losing a great opportunity to live something new in my life, I know.. I’m just so awkward and shy. How do you love someone .__ .
And what if they don’t like me back, it’ll be so awkward especially if we had a nice friendship and I’d ruin it and we’d never look at each other the same way again ;^ ;
I think I’ll just keep it to myself.. And forget .__ . Don’t want to mess up