i have given myself the feels

hello friends

a lot of people seem really upset right now and that’s completely understandable but it might help to keep in mind that it is genuinely not a personal affront if you are not invited to something like this. there are thousands and THOUSANDS of us and it is just physically impossible for us all to be noticed or on taylor’s radar in any meaningful way. the people who are invited to meet taylor are obviously all incredibly deserving but it really at the end of the day it all comes down to sheer dumb LUCK. luck about what posts taylor is able to see, when she’s online, when she’s looking for people to invite, etc. i know it can feel like the most personal thing in the world when someone you love so much just doesn’t see you but i promise it’s not because she isn’t looking or doesn’t care

and i hope this doesn’t come across as condescending because i don’t mean to be at all. the only reason i am even making this post is because i have had my moments of being upset about it too. taylor has lurked my blog before, has replied to a post saying she loved me and generally given other indications that she knew who i was but i was never invited to meet her and when i’m feeling bad about myself it’s easy to become convinced that it’s personal. but it’s really really REALLY not. it’s always valid to be sad about not getting to meet her and i don’t think anyone would begrudge us of that but trying to keep in mind about how much luck plays into it should hopefully make it a little easier to bear

love u all

my marketing assignment is currently wayyy over the maximum word limit, but i can’t help myself bc it just feels so good to write something that not related to science. it’s like constantly eating lasagna for every meal for 3 years–and i freakin love lasagna–and then suddenly given a… oh idk, plate of stir-fried green beans with garlic mmm anyway! my point is, i’ve spent an entire page raving about the marketing genius behind disneyland solely because i’m having entirely way too much fun and i feel like a greyhound in an open field. 

An Apology

Hi everyone! first off hope you’re all having a lovely day today!

Now what’s this about an apology?

Well I want to apologize to you guys.

I feel like my posts haven’t been that good lately and I feel a bit guilty because of that. Because I want to post the very best art for you guys! and I don’t want any of you to be disappointed. so I feel bad because of that…. Also I can’t find the time anymore to make art for tumblr because of my series. I’ve given myself till December to get it done so I’m using all the free time I have on that.

I hope you all understand and this will be over soon.

But I think for the next two months I’ll be posting BTS….

Again I’m really sorry you guys if I had the time I would draw but I don’t.

Thank you for reading. <3 :)

I’ll never forget the most valuable piece of advice I was given, “if you feel like you can’t make it through the day, only focus on the next hour. If you feel like you can’t make it through the next hour, only focus on the next few minutes. If you feel like you can’t make it through the next few minutes, take it one breath at a time.” I have to remind myself that, you’re gonna be okay, try to see through the cloud of doubt that is harboring all of the negative energy. It’s gonna get better. You are not alone. You are loved. So many people care about you, and want to see you happy and smiley. It’s okay to feel like this. Your feelings are valid. It’s okay to feel nothing at all. You’re not going to feel like this forever.

Hayley Kiyoko takes LGBTQ+ positivity to the next level. Like she gets it, she wants to show and be realistic about the feelings that LGBTQ+ people go through. She’s making a music career out of something positive, not what people think growing up LGBTQ+ is, it’s not what the media wants us to see, it’s not covered with a golden cape it’s real. Its believable and that’s why it connects and helps so many LGBT+ people who listen to her music. Without her music I defiantly wouldn’t have accepted myself, I’d never been able to explain how I felt before. Shes given us a voice. Even if no one else is listing it helps us LGBTQ+ girls and women connect. It makes us feel less alone and less down on ourselves. She gives queer women a voice and that’s why she’s so amazing and inspiring. She makes us feel safe in who we are and that’s pretty damn special and unique in an artist.

And I tried. I tried to be beautiful in a way that caught you off guard. I tried to be smart without having to use a calculator. I tried to be funny without having to think of some stupid joke to say. I tried to be sexually experienced for you. I tried to have all my shit together. I tried to figure what I wanted in life. I tried everything just so you could look at me the way I look at you. I tried to be something that wasn’t me and even when I tried all theses things it still wasn’t enough to make you look at me. It still wasn’t enough to make you want me. It still wasn’t enough to make you love me. Never again will I ever be something other than myself for a guy. Never again will I betray the body I was given. The home that I hated for so many years and treated like shit. Never again will I put a mans needs before me because really men ain’t shit. They do not home a person for 9 months just to go through extraordinary measures to bring that tiny human into the world safely. They do not bleed for a week and have extreme pain just because they aren’t pregnant. Women do not open their hearts and hips and birth a child when it feels like every bone in their body breaking and more just so a man can decide if she’s the one he wants for the week. My point is, do not ever settle for a man that does not see you as magic and more. Women are not ordinary. We did not give birth to civilization just so we could be treated like shit.
—  You not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself. // love, heartbreak & everything in between.// deeply feeling series

anonymous asked:

You really give real trans people a bad name. Like you went 0-100 full blown lesbian to demanding masculine pronouns in less than a year and you wonder why people think gender identity is a fad of the times? Get it together girl.

people don’t always come out of the womb knowing exactly who they are. especially in a society catered to cisgender heterosexuality.
It takes time.

I’ve also demanded nothing. I’ve answered questions to the best of my ability and shared my life w strangers online for the prospect of someone’s benefit. While I do enjoy making people laugh, I’m naturally reserved when it comes to personal matters and I don’t actually enjoy sharing details about my private life most of the time. Which is why this all may seem out of the blue for you but it’s been a process that I’ve been carefully going through for more than a few months. But when I realized that watching me find myself this publicly could potentially help a lot of people through just plain and simple representation, I chose to include my followers on this road to self discovery. I would have given anything when I younger to be able to see someone I looked up to go through finding themselves. Had I had that, I might have figured out myself earlier. That’s why this is even public to begin with.

Now, I’m curious as to why you feel so upset by my truth. I’d encourage you to look within and re-evaluate why someone else’s identity might make you feel so personally attacked. Remember that we are not bound by our labels they are merely there for community and self awareness. I want you to remind yourself that, so you can live freely in whatever label you choose to hang on to. We all deserve to find peace.

I looked through our conversations when we used to be on cloud nine and in love, these were the times you told me how lucky you are to have a girl like me, how thankful you are because you never received such love I was giving to you and whatever happens, you will never let me go. The words you said mean everything to me and it stabs my heart, realizing that these words mean nothing anymore. I can’t help myself but to cry my heart out till the sun has set. The pain is too heavy to bear, the love I believed to be true and different was gone. We used to be over the moon, but the present tells the opposite. This is stupid of me to say but, I won’t deny the fact that I miss you so much. I love you, I still do. But somehow, I’ve come with the thought that I can’t do anything anymore, I need to let you go because it’s the right thing to do. I’ve decided to finally move on and this would be the last time I would cry over you because there was nothing left to hold on to and I can’t hold on to something that doesn’t want to be held.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I was the reason why you let things end. I’m sorry for the terrible mistake I made, I never blamed you for deciding to end this because you were hurt and I understand. I only have myself to blame. But, I was hoping you would’ve understood, that I did it for us. I always feared the day would come, the day you will finally won’t take back the words you’ve said. I’m sorry for the other things that have hurt you, for the things that made you cry, jealous and mad. 


Thank you. I’m thankful that I met you because you have given me a temporary bliss. I laughed and smiled because of you. Somehow, you made me feel loved and beautiful in a short period of time. Thank you for the good days: the days we felt unstoppable like we’re flying high, when holding your hand felt like home, leaning on your shoulders made me feel secure and hearing your voice sound like the angels are singing. It was worth it, being loved and loving you. Thank you for making me realize how capable I am to love someone. You proved forever within a number of days. You were the greatest and worst thing ever happen to me. 


Goodbye. This will be the last time that I will write you a message, I’ll accept the fact that some things are meant to end, even though I used to believe that you won’t let that happen. I did everything I could to make you stay, but I guess your life no longer includes me because, you’re happy now and I can see that clearly. You already found a love that’s all the things ours couldn’t be. I hope you find overwhelming joy by her side, I hope she won’t hurt you and make you cry. I hope for the best for the both of you. It hurts but I’ve accepted the painful truth that I am just a distant memory now. I don’t regret loving you, but what I regret is that I let myself believe that this would last.


I won’t forget you and the memories, I will always keep you alive in my heart. I’ll just get used to not having you in my life anymore. Deep within my heart knows getting over you won’t be simple. I need to stop loving you so I can start loving myself again. You were a painful blessing, but you were also a great lesson. I guess you’re just another chapter of my life needed to end. I still and will pray for your safety and happiness even though I’m in pain right now, I still believe you deserve the best. I hope you find everything in her that you couldn’t find in me. You will always be my greatest love.

—  S.L // unsent last message
Diary Entries of the Moon Signs

Aries: No matter what I do, I can’t control the way I feel and I can’t stop myself from expressing it. I act like I don’t care what comes out of my mouth, but I do deep down. And that’s why I get so angry, that’s why I blow things out of proportion and jump to conclusions. I feel too much and I feel nothing all at once. 

Taurus: I just want to feel safe and comfortable. That’s all. I don’t want to change my habits! I refuse to.  Why can’t people understand that? Why do they have to make fun of my ‘weird’ habits and indulgent activities? I just want to be able to enjoy myself.

Gemini: My mind is constant chaos, never shutting down. It doesn’t matter if I’m dreaming or awake. It doesn’t matter if I’m content or anxious. Away it races and I wish I could make it stop. I wish I could allow myself to really feel for more than a moment. But the moment I start feeling, it’s so overwhelming that I can’t help but breakdown. I feel like two different people sometimes..

Cancer: I can’t bring myself to be stable in my feelings. There’s so much beauty yet so much pain in having such intense emotions. I can love deeply and I can hate even deeper. My feelings are nothing to mess with because I’m not afraid to lash out but at the same time, I wish I wasn’t so vulnerable. Some people don’t deserve my sympathy, yet I keep giving.

Leo: For some reason, I just don’t feel complete unless I’m given praise and attention. Sometimes, I don’t even care if it’s bad attention, so long as all eyes are on me. If I don’t get my way, I just lose all control and get so dramatic that it’s almost like I’m in a play. I just want people to listen to me, to watch me, to like me..

Virgo: Hmm, where do I begin? People say that I’m analytical and clever, but I just can’t figure myself out and I can’t bare for anyone else to do it for me. I guard my emotions so well, I don’t express them. You’ll never catch me in tears and if for some reason you do, you can bet you’ll be crying, too.

Libra: I just don’t feel complete unless I’m with someone. Is this why I end up with all the wrong people? I want so badly to be with someone who can make me feel beautiful, someone I can depend on to keep the peace and have in depth conversations with me but I guess I’m too obsessed with romance to wait around for the right one. It leaves me feeling so empty and so lost. But I don’t really know.. I just feel like such a burden.

Scorpio: I understand others more than I understand myself.. In fact, I don’t understand myself at all. My emotions are too intense for me to focus on my mind. I have to maintain my feelings to function or I will completely lose it. I’ve definitely never felt normal and judging by the reactions others give me, I’ve definitely never been normal.

Sagittarius: I’m constantly running from my feelings but I embrace my thoughts and express them with an open mind. I mean, I definitely do feel but they come on so passionately that the more negative emotions can make me become destructive and careless. When I’m at my worst, I’m fearless. I won’t be afraid to hurt myself as well as others. And that scares me.

Capricorn: It’s just all too much but I don’t want to explain how I feel. I don’t want anyone to look at me as weak or a burden. I know I can be snappy, ruthless, and overbearing but I can’t help it. I have to be able to control everything in my life to feel content. If I’m having a bad day, everyone around me has to have one too..

Aquarius: I just want to be free. Let me feel as I please even if it’s just a little. Let me think all I want, even if I think too much. I will never be the person everyone wants me to be and that’s what I love most about myself but it’s also what I hate most about myself. I know I can be unpredictable but that’s what makes me unique. I just want to be myself.

Pisces: My fantasy world is where I find solace, though I know deep down it’s my downfall. When I’m sad, I’m depressed. When I’m angry, I’m furious. When I’m happy, I’m ecstatic. I’m so in touch with my feelings, that I think I feel more than others do. Some people think I’m too nice and too sensitive. I know this to be true. I know I give too much of myself and my time to the wrong people sometimes.. I can’t help that I see what I want to see. It’s how I feel comfortable in a world of chaos.

*full birth chart readings for $5 / message me if interested / paypal payments only*

2

Still doesn’t feel real sometimes. May 2015 vs today, May 2017. 120 lbs I’ll never have again. Have been keeping it off since August of 2016, growing stronger each and every day.

Take it from me, you can do anything you want.

If you need help, ask me. Helping other people evolve into the best versions of themselves is what I live for. Everything has aligned perfectly since I started my journey- I have given myself so much life that I am able to help others gain their own back.

I have a confession... I don’t belong here.

I’m not usually one to to say how she feels, let alone write down how she feels, but recent events have made it hard to hide where I’m at, so I thought I’d take a page from my good friend’s book and lay it all out here. To see if it helps.

Over the last few months really exciting things have been happening. Some things you know about, some you don’t. Suffice it to say life is good. And I’m terrified. I am utterly a fish out of water. I am lost and confused. And no one knows it. My life used to be small. I was a sun flower in a small garden. I thrived on what water I had and was fine. Fine. ish. I wanted more. I pretended that I knew more than I did so that I wouldn’t seem like such and outsider to my peers. Fake it till you make it, right? I knocked down doors that were locked and found opportunities that were hidden away form me. I was succeeding at the unimaginable. And then I pushed. And I pushed. And I pushed. Until I found myself weeping from a broken back because I had been pushing at brick walls that wouldn’t budge. I’d pushed too hard. And I became so terrified that I would be discovered as a fraud that I became selfish and insensitive. All to conceal a devastating fact. I don’t belong here.

I grew up on a small farm. We as kids worked the farm to help out. My mother moved us around where she could find work when my father lost his eyesight. we struggled always but we survived. This isn’t meant to be a pity party. My folks are strong as fuck. My point is, none of this is supposed to happen to girls like me. I was just a girl who loved to make people laugh, who loved the theatre and was terrified of being invisible. But recent events have put me in a position where lack of anonymity is making my screw ups more prevalent to some. And its an awful feeling. I try really hard to appear to be a person that is supposed to live in this kind of situation I’m in, because I love it here. But the secret is, I have no idea what I’m doing. So I fuck up. And I perhaps come across as self-absorbed and opportunistic as a sad attempt to look mightier than the small town girl that I really am. This is my way of keeping people far enough away that they wont see the cracks in my armour.

Here’s my other big secret. I love a lot. Like A LOT. I cant help it. My attraction to good humans can not be harboured and I am not ashamed. You look at my phone and I generally have 7 text threads going on any given day. I want to know everything about you at all times. I want you to share your deepest passions and griefs with me. I wanna know you inside and out! Here’s the thing, I don’t like to let people love me. Fucked up right? I want to love you but I don’t want you to need me. Cause I’ll disappoint you and you’ll go away and then it’ll all be for nothing. If I’m really scared of your love i’ll be unemotional, or distant, or if you’re really lucky- I might even be mean. 

Anyway this is my point: This exact life I’m living right now is a combination of my greatest dream and my most terrifying nightmare. I am not invisible and I can’t escape the love and the loving needs of others. I’m living a life that many including myself have only dreamed of. And I’m terrified that I’m just going to screw it all up.

So I’m writing this to let you know I’m going to work really really hard and do my absolute best to not fuck this up. Any of it. This is the steepest learning curve I’ve ever had in my life and I can no longer hide the fact that I feel in over my head. But stick with me, K? I’ll figure it all out really soon. 

Thank you for everything that you’ve given me and the patience you continue to give me. I’m sorry if it seems like I’ve taken your love for granted. It’s actually just the opposite. I just didn’t want you to know ;)


Dear Chairman.
I am disappointed by your decision to press charges, but I am not surprised. My only hope is that the courts will see the matters differently than you have. You see, I never had the chance to serve in battle, nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question, if the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? The memory of her, has haunted me my entire life, and moreso in these last few years than I could ever have imagined. But given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself. Had I only the chance.
I know that you disagreed with my methods, and that others will as well. This is beyond my control. However, I cannot imagine that any court, would be able to convict me, no matter how low their opinion of my actions might be. You must understand one basic fact for all this to make sense my dear Chairman. These A.I., they all come from somewhere; they are all based on a person. Our Alpha, was no exception. And while the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves. So you send your men. They won’t find themselves a fight. They’ll only find an old man. An old man tired, but satisfied he did his duty. An old man weary from a mind more filled with memory, than it is with hope.
Sincerely yours, the former director of Project Freelancer, Doctor Leonard Church.

i feel faded from my own life. i haven’t gone to bed yet and it’s 5:48 in the morning. i want to touch you or an open fire or whatever will hurt me. i want you to crush my throat or crush my dreams. i feel like i’m living in a loop where the end is coming, where the road to ruin is something i swallow, where i’m running out of time while i’m just sitting here. barely feeling anything. watching days tick by and tuck into autumn leaves. i feel like i’m wasting my god-given talents but what’s worse is i don’t know how not to waste them. like i could have been handled drugs sex and money and i’d still be here, doing nothing. just waiting to die or for something to kill me or for you to come home and finish the deed. is it possible to be terrified of death and at the same time a ghost girl who doesn’t care if she’s drowning. asking for a friend. no really. i want to kiss you or cut you or kill myself. and isn’t that all just the same goddamn thing.

You changed my life in so many ways; You gave me a reason to live, you filled my emptiness and replaced it with so many good things that no one else could’ve wished for. I cannot wish myself anyone better than you. You have made the previous things in my life mean nothing compared to what you have given me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I still feel that way every single day even if we are arguing with each other from time to time, because I know the truth deep down in my heart. I will always take care of you, look after you and always be there for you through everything.
—  Poets Love Her

I came out to my parents when I was 18 years old. I left a letter under my mother’s pillow, gave her a kiss goodbye and then embarked on my first tour ever. I remember sitting in the back of a van headed to the abyss of the open road, fearing for my life. Ever since, my time has been swept up by life on the road performing with my band as an openly gay front woman. At the time, I never realized how impactful something as simple as being my authentic self and true to my heart would be for thousands of others out there.

Over the past few years it’s been the most powerful and humbling experience to watch the PVRIS fanbase become such a safe place for people of the LGBTQ community. We have witnessed countless proposals, been a part of coming-outs, read hundreds of letters and have heard so many incredible stories. Thank you for all the love, support and courage you have all given to me to be myself on this journey thus far, and thank you for the love, support and courage you have given yourselves and others around you. I want nothing more than for you all to feel the utmost love and freedom in being yourselves. You are all exceptionally magic.

—  For Gay Pride Month, Billboard asked numerous pop culture luminaries to write ‘love letters’ to the LGBTQ community. Above, PVRIS’ lead singer Lynn Gunn shares hers.
The Three Keys of Magic

The Keys of Magic are a core principle shared by many different schools. While they may seem simple, the truth is that they can be challenging to master. Dedicate time to honing these foundational skills, and you’re sure to see results in your craft. 

I’ve included here an explanation of each key, along with some of my personal tips and tricks for success.

Relaxation

It’s difficult to concentrate when you’re not comfortable. Minimizing distractions and developing an ability to focus through them will be essential. I’ve repeatedly insisted that meditation is the number one skill any witch or magician needs to master. This is one of the many reasons why. The importance of mental control seems like a no-brainer, but I’m always surprised by how often people neglect their meditation.

To begin, find a quiet and comfortable place to work where you are unlikely to be interrupted. Ground yourself, and clear your mind. Gradually allow all the tension to leave your body. From this empty, neutral position, begin to focus your will on your work.

As you gain experience, you should train by increasing your level of distraction. Practice relaxation and focus in places that aren’t ideal, so that you’re equipped to do even better. Cultivating your skills here will allow you to successfully work magic in less and less ideal situations, giving you an edge and the discipline necessary to be successful when it truly matters.

Visualization/Concentration

During your ritual, adopt a single minded focus. It’s not enough to express your desire, you need to see the thing you want as though it’s already come to pass. Instead of “I want a promotion at work”, think “I have been promoted”. See yourself receiving the promotion, feel the joy and satisfaction of your new role. Bask in your boss’ praise. To help make the thing real, try to engage all your senses. Imagine the way the place smells, what it tastes like, how it feels. What’s the quality of the light? What’s the soundscape like?

You must truly cement the thing as real in your mind. This key goes back to the Principle of Correspondence, if you’ve ever studied Hermetics. Even if you haven’t, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “as above, so below”. The continuation of that is, “as within, so without”. Make the thing real inside of you, so that in the next step it can become real outside of you. Take the time to sink into it. The solidness of this visualization will directly relate to the strength of the outcome.

Projection

This is easily the most difficult of the keys to master. In order for your magic to do any work, you first have to send it out into the world. All that energy, focus and desire you built up during your ritual needs to be released. For this to happen, you’ll have to relinquish all attachment to your spell, along with any desire for a result.

To help with this, I keep a journal of my workings. Following each ritual, I record what I’ve done in a dedicated book, along with any details I consider significant. Depending on your craft, those details may include things like the moon phase and the position of certain stars, or they could be the entities you worked with and any offerings given. I also make a point of recording significant occurrences, such as candles that wouldn’t light, strange sounds, or a personal mistake (these happen). Because I trust the integrity of my recordings, I feel secure releasing my work. Transferring the memory from myself into the book is a symbolic activity that helps me detach from it.

My personal rule is not to return to that writing for three months. At that point, I’ll review the ritual and assess its effectiveness.

Sometimes, even after documenting the work and trying to release, I’ll come back to a spell and discover that it didn’t have the desired effect. At this point, I’ll concede failure and begin a retrospective. Shockingly, this final admission that the work did nothing sometimes has the power to complete the third step, causing your results to manifest. If you find your rituals aren’t resulting in an outcome you’re happy with, consider the possibility that you haven’t truly let go of them.

What if…

What if Damien really does just want everyone safe? What if he truly is struggling to come to terms with it all?

What if the detective does really grief over his lost partners? And now has trust issues and wants us safe?

What if the Colonel can’t handle the death of a friend and is slowly going crazy in denial and anger?

What if the Butler truly liked having Mark as a boss and only wanted him to be happy? And now is relentlessly keeping things tidy, because that’s the way Mark liked it ?

What if the Chef truly does just love cooking and was happy to finally be someplace where he can cook? And now is just in another place of chaos and can only trust his little buddy?

What if Selene just can’t accept Mark is gone? What if she is right, in that there is something bigger going on, and now she has fallen to it?

What if Mark just wanted his friends to be friends again? And now it might have cost him his life?

What if they are all innocent?




(I may have just given myself to many feels)


Bonus!

What if Jim is actually Jim?!

Edit)

For my own future reference, I wrote this between the 3rd and 4th ep. (I believe) but was thinking about this since the 2nd.

@markiplier

Pennywise headcannons (fluff)

I’ve been feeling a bit down recently so I figured I’d try and do some fluff ones this time as a way of cheering myself up. I did NSFW ones last time if you wanna check them out. Forgive me if these seem a bit flat. Emotionally the past few days haven’t been the best for me and I feel like that might come off as gloominess in my writing. •Given he’s at least a foot taller than your average human. He would always have to bend down to kiss you. •Sometimes you’d wake up to see a creepy little smiley face drawn into the frost on your window. Meaning he’d dropped by last night to check on you. Just his little way of reminding you he’s always watching out for you.

• On days where you feel nervous or anxious you’d notice a familiar looking off-white and red bird following you around.

•If you’d had a bad day you would head straight to the Neibolt house. You’d always want to be near him when you’re feeling depressed but not really wanting to talk a lot. Hearing you so quiet would worry him and he would always try to make you crack a smile or laugh.

•You’d explain different Halloween traditions to him excitedly because it’s the one day of the year you could go out as a couple in public.  And his first reaction is “So you’re telling me kiddies just walk right up to your door, looking for a scare. Well, thats fucking great. Easy feed right there.”  “Umm, I think you’re missing the point.”

•You’d get a very dramatic eye roll when you did show up on Halloween wearing your best attempt at his costume and makeup with a pile of red balloons.

•sassing him and him glaring at you when you do do that.

•“I can’t believe that stupid fucking kid called my house a crack house”. “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry tho, I like your crack house.”

•Both of you sitting on the porch of the Neibolt house when a storm is rolling in. Talking about whatever was on your mind. You’d have your legs splayed out underneath you and an arm outstretched into the rain, enjoying the familiar smell it brings.

•You’d tell him you don’t mind the sewers at all. Its the people up top that scare you more.

•Telling him you want to spend the whole summer with him.

•Carrying one of his little bells around as a good luck charm.

•Doing your best to copy his maniacal clown laugh.

•Because you keep tripping or walking into things down in the dark sewers, you decide to set up some candles down there so you can see better. Pennywise isn’t too impressed now that his liar os scented and has mood lighting.

•Because your starting to spend more and more time down in the Neibolt house with him you end up moving some go your belongings there. Books, cassette tapes, maybe a favorite pillow. You accidentally left your sketchbook there once, only for him to find a few drawings of him inside. You, of course, would be embarrassed. But he would find it endearing and make you beg him to give the book back while he held it above you, just out of your reach.

•He’d pick you up and spin you around at random moments.

•When you were younger you got beat up a lot, Derry isn’t a very open-minded place. You eventually gain the reputation of being the girl you do not fuck with. Even before you knew Pennywise had his eye on you, bad things always seemed to happen to the people who mess with you. It was only later you figured out it was him. Your his precious, little human and no one is allowed to hurt you.

•There was one time on your way home a bunch of girls from school got the jump on you. One of them grabs onto your long hair, yanking it to keep you from running away. The self-proclaimed leader of the group starts kneeing you in the gut, while the rest chant insults at you. You fall to the ground which causes the tension on your scale to only get worst. Out of instinct, you’d try your best to curl up and use your arms to cover your head in order to block some of the blows. Despite your best efforts most of them would still hit their mark. Pennywise would come crawling out of the sewer at lightning speed, fangs fully exposed, causing your attackers to scatter. He managed to grab the girl that was kicking you by her neck, lifting her and making the most inhuman snarling noise. His mouth hanging open, teeth fully splayed and drool flooding past his lips. You’d never seen him look so terrifying. After that, he’d take you straight back down to the sewers. He’d feel bad seeing you sniffling back tears and whipping the blood from your busted lip onto your sleeve. He tries to comfort you by telling you he’d pick them off slowly, one by one so they knew what was coming before hugging you tightly. He wouldn’t let you leave the sewers for the next due to him being overly worried about you.

•He’d really like holding your hand. He thinks its really cute that your hand is so much smaller than his and that he basically wrap your hand up in his.

•If you’re doing something like reading where you sitting still than he’d constantly be sitting you in his lap. Because he’s so much taller than you, he would be able to rest his head on top of yours and just look down at whatever it is you’re doing.

•The first time he saw you cry, he would feel a bit awkward and not really know what to do. Eventually, he gets the hang of it tho. He’d pick you up and pull you on his lap. Wrapping his long arms around your smaller frame, rocking you back and forth and nuzzling his face against the side of yours until you calmed down and started breathing normally again. Pennywise doesn’t have a real physical heart. He would be fascinated by the sound of your heart beating. Similar to how he can smell when someone near him is afraid, he might be able to pick up when someone around him has an erratic, panicked heartbeat ( maybe our adrenaline causes something in him to react ). But he’s never just heard the steady, rhythmic thumping of a regular heartbeat. That small little organ, the thing that he generally eats is the reason you’re his. He would probably try and get either his head or his hand near your chest when you’re asleep so he can feel or hear it beating

Topp dogg’s Hansol coming out as asexual just makes me feel really proud and happy since I’m part of the lgbtq+ community myself being pansexual. It makes me feel awed and amazed that an kpop idol is like me and many others and him coming out is so brave especially when it’s so frowned upon in Korea. I just hope Hansol is happy and continues being happy since he finally got this off his chest and opened up to us fans and even non fans. Especially to those kpop fans who are still struggling with there identity or are in closet because I know if I wasn’t open about my sexuality this would have given me so much courage and hope and the feeling that I’m not alone.

I don’t know, I’m sorry for this rant but I’m just really happy for Hansol and I’m always going to have his and topp dogg’s back and if any haters or antis or any negative people come at him, turn your location on so I can fight you.

101 Writing Prompts

1. “I didn’t know you two were related.” “We didn’t either.”

2. “I’m not saying I’m gay, but I would be if they were asking.”

3. “I’ve tried my hardest to fall for you, but it’ll always be them.”

4. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before.”

5. “I didn’t even want to come to this party. You lied to me about the pinata.”

6. “Spin the bottle is such a cliché. I’m in.”

7. “I have to go in there with you? I didn’t sign up to play 7 minutes in hell .”

8. “That’s not how you pronounce my name and I’m not even sure you tried.”

9. “Are you new here?” “We’ve been in the same math class for six years.”

10. “You really shouldn’t touch that… I told you.”

11. “I recognise you. Do you have a dog.”

12. “ You’ve never seen Harry Potter?

13. “Can’t we just lay here for a minute?”

14. “We have to stop running into each other like this.”

15. “Is it weird if I say that your dad’s really hot?”

16. “I know it’s 2am but can we meet up?”

17. “I don’t know how we ended up sleeping together but I know I’m mad about it.”

18. “Whatever you do, just don’t tell anybody!”

19. “I don’t come here often, it brings back unwanted memories.”

20. “They told me I’d forget about you; that I’d move on but it’s been three years and here I am.”

21. “I’ve waited so long for this moment, but now it’s here I don’t know how to feel.”

22. “You can’t just say that and then disappear!”

23. “I always hear my neighbour playing this beautiful music, but I’ve never actually met them.”

24. “Would it be alright if I pet your dog?”

25. “I’m so sorry to bother you this late but an owl got in my house and I have no idea how to get it out.”

26. “We can’t call the police! They’ll never believe us!”

27. “Why are you buying plane tickets? Are you leaving?”

28. “I swear I’ve seen them before in a dream.”

29. “I don’t want to be your partner either but we have to get this assignment done.”

30. “I never hated you, you just make me feel things I don’t understand.”

31. “It’s your fault, and I don’t think this is something you can fix.”

32. “This isn’t easy for me either.”

33. “I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that, right?”

34. “Can you at least promise me that?” “I don’t think I can, not this time.”

35. “I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that.”

36. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard to you want me to hit you?”

37. “I’d be scared if I were you.”

38. “You can’t go in there alone .”

39. “This seems like a lot of effort to go to for a mediocre joke.”

40. “Delete that picture right now or Mr.Snuggles gets it!”

41. “You didn’t go through my photos did you?!”

42. “Uhhh, I went through your photos and I have some questions.”

43. “I swear to god, if you tag me in one more bad meme I’ll make you regret it.”

44. “I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more.”

45. “You have individual ringtones for everyone? What’s mine?”

46. “ Why wouldn’t you lock the door?

47. “Did you know kissing burns calories?” “I’m happy with my weight, thanks.”

48. “Your bad pickup lines aren’t cute, they’re just bad.”

49. “I’ll give you fifty bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we’re together. They always ask if I’m dating and I can’t have that conversation again.”

50. “I don’t think you’re ever too old for trick-or-treating.”

51. “We’re dressing up for Halloween this year and that’s final.”

52. “I forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.” “I didn’t.”

53. “Fuck you.” “Not with that attitude.”

54. “90% of people admit to having at least a slight bondage kink, and 10% are lying about it.”

55. “I don’t understand why you won’t just use a map on your phone.”

56. “You know my house has a door? You don’t always have to use the window.”

57. “The truth is, my friends dared me to ask you out, but I’m really glad they did.”

58. “You know, I was joking in that birthday card when I said I’d help you hide a body.”

59. “Can we please turn off this song.” “But it’s a masterpiece .”

60. “I’ve known you for two years and I think I’ve been saying your name wrong the whole time.”

61. “Wow, you really are blind!” “Thanks for the update, can I have my glasses back now?”

62. “It might be petty but you borrowed my pencil three weeks ago and I’m gonna need it back.”

63. “I think they have a crush on you, which sucks because I’m kinda into them.”

64. “Just go and talk to them, they dont bite!” “What if biting turns me on? If they dont do it then what’s the point?”

65. “You can’t say that in front of children!”

67. “Seven years old is practically an adult.”

68. “Dude I ordered this on eBay and you have to see what they sent me.”

69. “I didn’t realise it meant so much to you.”

70. “I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

71. “My friend thinks you’re cute, personally I don’t get it but this isn’t about me right now.”

72. “Not everything is about you!” “Untrue.”

73. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

74. “This is why I hate family dinners! It always gets awkward.”

75. “This can only end two ways and neither of them are pretty.”

76. “Not everything can be butterflies and rainbows! Things get hard sometimes, that’s just how it is!”

77. “My mom told me I shouldn’t talk to strangers, and you’re definitely strange.”

78. “I can’t believe you fell asleep when I was showing you my favourite movie of all time.”

79. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s dangerous.”

80. “I could lie here with you forever. I wish I didnt have to leave.”

81. “Everything’s changing and I hate it! I liked the way things were.”

82. “You look so incredible, if that didn’t look so good on you I’d probably tear it off.”

83. “Do you think they noticed that we left?”

84. “The funny thing is, you could have fixed this and you didn’t even try.”

85. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I’m only asking because it hurt when I did and I thought I might have done it wrong.”

86. “That was super cheesy and I’m lactose intolerant.”

87. “You didn’t tell me you were gay!” “You didn’t tell me you weren’t.”

88. “Your friend told me you had a crush on me, I just wanted to let you know your friend is a snake.”

89. “Are you staring at me or are you staring past me?”

90. “If you we’re a guy/girl would you go out with me?” “I am a guy/girl.”

91. “Sounds stupid. When are we doing it?”

92. “Can we tell my parents that I’m at your house, just incase they get suspicious?”

93. “This is the part in the movie where we kiss or one of us dies. My fingers are crossed for option one.” “Speak for yourself.”

94. “I’m offended that you don’t have more faith in me but, honestly, it’s understandable given past experience.”

95. “Its just a blind date! What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could literally die.”

96. “I would light myself on fire to keep you warm and you wouldn’t even hand me a coat if I were freezing.”

97. “I trusted you, and so I guess I should have seen this coming.”

98. “I had a really weird sex dream about you and I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly.”

99. “Okay, but this is the last time I bail you out!”

100. “All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”

101. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”