i have fallen for another tv show and i cannot get up

Excuse Me

Originally posted by xmadxmariax

Request: Could you maybe done one where your a fan of supernatural and you got to a con and meet Jensen and like he really likes you and he’s like trying to find out who you are and idk that’s all I got…

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1,400ish

Warnings: none

A/N: Fluffy flirty Jensen…


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Stockholm Syndrome//H.S. Part. Four

Originally posted by emilyruddlife

Summary: Oral Sex.

Series Warnings: Violence and Sexual Situations, possibly triggering content. 

Word Count: 902

Word Density: “Down” and “Noel”

Part One./Part Two./Part Three.


“Breaking news! A man by the name of Harry Styles has been reported missing. Family and friends have reported his absence, saying he has been M.I.A for almost three weeks now. His wife, Noel Styles, has been obviously distraught by her husband’s absence. She’s only made two statements since she reported her husband missing, stricken with grief and fear. The distraught wife reports that they got into a physical altercation and he left without a trace. Since then, he has been missing. The police are at a standstill due to the lack of evidence and witnesses.That’s all we have for now, all we can do is pray for his family and hope  that Harry returns home.”


HARRY

Somehow I’ve gotten used to being down here. I’m still chained up, but it’s not so bad anymore.

Noel’s visits here become more frequent and she’s been giving me a bit more freedom. The other day she unchained me while I was unconscious.

Somehow this secret level of the house was already modeled to be some kind of livable space. It might as well have been another room in the house. It’s cozy down here, but I’m still terrified. She put a table down here so that we can eat together. She usually handcuffs my legs and one of my hands so I can’t leave. I can’t complain though. I know not to push it.

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Yurikuma Arashi PSA

To all the people shrugging off or downright despising Yurikuma Arashi as disgusting male gaze fetish porn or something: I think you’re entirely missing the point. I think it’s time for me to explain you a thing, gaugau!

Yurikuma is one of the works of the brilliant but notorious Ikuhara, known for anime like Utena and production work on bigshot yuri-approved Sailor Moon. He’s said time and time again that he will write lesbian characters and yuri relationships into his stories, mostly for the reason that it usually does not detract from the story at hand, allowing him to build a great story without just romance to it to create substance.

You see, Ikuhara uses his stories to make points, and it’s up to us to try and figure them out. Sure, they’re cryptic, but it’s a fun and a wild ride for us as viewers, and that’s something I refuse to take for granted. With Utena there was a lot about adolescence and some important points about various other things that I’m too tired to think about right now, and with Sailor Moon it was a little more of proof that lesbians could be incorporated into a show for a relatively younger audience in a healthy relationship that didn’t define them wholly as people, amongst other things.

And in Yurikuma, Ikuhara makes perhaps his most poingant point yet. It’s all about you guys. Yep, all of you. Why? Because it’s a cleverly made criticism of both the anime industry, and society as a whole, and their treatment of lesbianism.

Society tries to stay inconspicuous, or invisible. Society follows trends. Those who break the trends pay the price.

From the beginning, the girls who are excluded are those who choose to love as they wish. Metaphors aside, it’s pretty clear that they exclude girls for loving other girls, causing girls like those that Life Sexy spies on to keep their love under lock and key. Many even confuse friendship for love, or at least mask love under the guise of ‘friendship‘, like Yuriika does.

Not only is exclusion a key factor, but the fact that the Yuri Court is under the supreme control of Life Sexy certainly is no coincidence. Yuri as a genre, and lesbianism as a theme or trend in the media, is governed by the laws of eroticism and sex, much more than is the case for gay males or those of another sexuality or gender. From the beginning, we have been both loved and hated by you.

We are loved in the sense that we are seen as objects of lust in the eyes of men, but hated in the fact that we exist and yet are not willing to become objects of their affection and so break the rules of society.

You see it all the time. When a new yuri anime comes along, the first general reaction is either ‘is it some male gaze bullshit‘ or ‘regardless of the content, it’s gotta be male gaze bullshit. ew.‘ Both attitudes factor into this, as yuri is so often portrayed for the eyes of those that cannot have us and refuse to acknowledge our sexuality that we automatically believe that everything yuri is male gaze and nothing is ‘real‘. That’s how far it’s gone. Don’t believe me?

I was sat in front of the TV with my mum once, flicking mindlessly between two music channels out of boredom. One was your standard near-naked twerking sorta deal, the other was a storytelling sort of music video with two girls falling in love. When the two girls kissed, fully clothed and innocently in love, my mum said that the other video, where girls were writhing nearly-naked around a single guy, was more ‘decent’ and less ‘male-gaze-y’. Now doesn’t that tell you something. Not to say that wearing little clothing and twerking isn’t ok, but to say that one video was clearly meant to be sexual whilst the other was clearly not.

The problem that society has with lesbians but not with gay men so much is one that has arisen out of misogyny. Somewhere along the line somebody thought that lesbians were clearly not lesbians, and in fact were ready to pounce onto the ‘right guy’ when the time came, and unsurprisingly it caught on. I went on omegle once (for shits and giggles) and the first thing the guy said to me was ‘so lesbian means you’re just hard to get, right?‘

A guy liked me once. He was pretty sweet and I didn’t know him well so I tried to turn him down as kindly as possible, explaining that I liked another girl and was 100% gay. He must have misheard ‘gay‘ as ‘i wanna take it slow‘, clearly, and decided to spam me with promises that ‘we can be friends first‘ and ‘it’s ok to start off slow‘. I deleted his number when it became too much. I’m far from alone, and many other people have had it worse.

My own family and people I thought I knew have fallen prey to this ‘invisible storm‘ in real life, and the ‘wall of severance‘ that separates us from the rest of society is built around false eroticism and misogynistic sexual colonialism.

It may sound like I’ve gone off on a tangent here, but everything that I have said and experienced is ultimately relevant. Why? Because Ikuhara is criticising the society that we live in in Yurikuma Arashi, and the extents that the invisible storm of society will go to in order to exclude and harm those who do not ‘follow social cues‘. When we get to a point where even lesbian love in its purest form is considered enough to make us all criminal-bears, then where the hell did we go wrong? If we can’t break down the wall, we are forever fated to destroy ourselves from the inside. 

Red Velvet’s Dumb Dumb MV (Music Video Analysis)

The views presented in this analysis are a part of my own individual interpretation of the video, which means they are subject to error. This post is based off of the Dumb Dumb, Ice Cream Cake, and Automatic videos from SMTown’s official Youtube channel. 

“They all look the same”: It’s a phrase that we’re all familiar with as kpop fans. It’s annoying as hell, but I think we’ve all gotten used to hearing it. I’ve heard it a million times about Red Velvet. I’ve seen people criticize SM for making no effort to make any one of the girls stand out beyond their assigned colors. Happiness Era they sported rainbow colored ombre (different colors, but still), during Be Natural they all had black hair, during Ice Cream Cake they all had shades of blonde, and even now with identical red-dipped bangs for certain Dumb Dumb promotions. Their costuming, similarly, is uniform, with slight differences. They’re intentionally made up not to look the same, but similar. The intention, of course, is to communicate that they are a cohesive unit, complementing each other whilst maintaining individual charm. Efforts to evoke this can be seen within their past videos, paralleling Dumb Dumb. 

The above screenshot is from Automatic, while the second is, of course, from this video. (They’re both at 33 seconds, he he). In both videos, the girls sit at a table, as if in conference. The Knights of the Round Table come to mind. They come together to share ideas, to make plans. The chess set indicates the discussion of strategy. It shows they are all equal, they are all of one mind.  

In Automatic, Ice Cream Cake, and Dumb Dumb all feature the girls in a car together. Irene drives, reflecting her position as leader, but ultimately they’re all in the same car together. Where Irene leads them, they must follow. Their journey is a shared one. They are not only of the same mind, but of the same body. 

It seems a little contrary that a girl group that went through such lengths to communicate their unity would produce a video apparently criticizing the uniformity within the idol industry. I will, of course, seek to reconcile these two concepts. 

Doll Factory, Idol Factory: In Dumb Dumb, we see our heroines cast as both the dolls and employees of a doll factory. They are both the product and the productive. Their purpose is to create yet they were created–a paradox that points to their careers as idols. As idols, they were “manufactured,” or trained, by a company and presented to the public as artists, meant to create music. The kpop industry has long been criticized for this “manufacturing” of talent, as members of groups are often replaceable. The video indeed criticizes this commercial side of kpop, but Red Velvet is exempt from this criticism. Here we see that when assigned the role of dolls, simple clones, they cannot function as group. If they were truly idol clones as they have been accused, the factory would have continued its productions smoothly. They are not compatible with one another. In fact, when placed within such a system, their mere presence creates a sort of revolution–and not just in relation to the cloning criticism, but in kpop as a whole.  

The very first image we see is a table set with five chairs in a room without windows or doors. This room is representative of the kpop industry–inescapable. Even before Red Velvet’s arrival into this room, it was furnished and waiting for them, just as these criticisms of the industry existed before their debut. They are placed within a room, trapped, within this preconceived notion that they adhere to the kpop cliche of mass produced idols. 

The inclusion of recording equipment doesn’t fit the doll factory theme. It’s included as a reference to music, as a tip off that this doll factory is actually a metaphor for an idol factory. 

These dials are marked with seemingly obscure Latin phrases. However, anyone familiar with publishing, graphic design, or even just Microsoft Office will recognize this as the filler text included in templates in order to avoid distracting from the layout and design. If it’s in Latin, you can’t read it. You’re forced to pay closer attention to layout. This makes for an interesting comparison to the kpop music. Kpop has a global audience, the most of which doesn’t speak Korean. The language isn’t what’s important, it’s the music. In light of all the debate about whether or not the industry has become too commercialized, it’s a reminder of what it’s all really supposed to be about.

They sit at the table, hands in. They wear matching red nail polish. In the center of the table is a chess set with orange and blue pieces. Both the blue and orange sides have one knight and two pawns moved. The chess sets mirror one another. And then the chess pieces begin to float. 

The chess pieces, as before mentioned, indicate strategy–something wholly linked with business. And in this kpop business, the pieces all copy one another. Under Red Velvet’s influence, the pieces begin to float. They’re disrupted. They cannot copy one another if they are not even touching the board. In this way, they are shown to revolutionize how idols are conceived. I say that this happens under their influence because of their placement of their hands toward the chess board, as if their collectively power is going toward this goal of disrupting the chess pieces. Think of it like a ouija board. In order for it to move, all participants must place their hands on the piece. 

There’s a birdcage positioned between silverware as if the cage itself is the plate, the meal–or rather, what goes inside the cage. The cover of Ice Cream Cake shows each member with a bird perched on their shoulder. They are the birds that would be eaten. This industry is one that would eat them alive. 

In the windowless, doorless room, the girls look upward toward the camera above them. This indicates that they’re aware of the system they’re in, that they realize they are trapped, that perhaps the only way out is up. In order to break the preconceptions people have about them, they must succeed. 

Here, we see them in glasses with painted-over lenses. I believe this is a play on the idiom ‘rose-colored glasses,’ as these glasses are blue and yellow. ‘Rose-colored glasses’ tends to refer to someone who has an optimistic–too optimistic–view of something, perceiving the situation as better than it really is. In this way, they’re not really seeing the truth of the matter. These colored glasses literally prevent them from seeing what’s in front of them, an inversion of the rose-colored glasses idiom. 

Inside the school bus, Red Velvet and their doubles sport pig tails, oversized bows, freckles, and oversized striped shirts. The oversized shirts hide their mature figures, making them look boyish, younger. Here they are made into children. Not only does this childlike concept appeal to the doll theme, but it speaks volumes of how idols are treated: every moment of their life scheduled, driven around by their managers like children in a school bus. 

These scenes where the girls dance and pose are references to the performance aspect of their careers. 

We see Seulgi leaning on an outdated television. On the screen we see Red Velvet performing. This insinuates that the way they’re viewed is outdated. To try to put them in such a small box would be as logical as using such an old piece of technology in modern day. 

She’s wearing a boater hat, which were fashionable in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century.  The other members follow this fashion in other shots of the video. This is as well a reference to outdated modes of fashion. Contrast the old prejudices that have been applied to them to the new reputation they want to build with their success, just as these old costumes are contrasted with the later more modern clothing they wear in the end of the video. 

This falling doll is the embodiment of the conception that they are just another set of kpop clones, or dolls. It’s falling, and later we see it break as they shatter this conception. 

The inclusion of the rising pressure gauges are a clear allusion to the high pressure they’re under. 

On a conveyor belt, we see a purse, a shoe, and tubes of lipgloss. This is a reference to the fashion side of kpop, where they must maintain a flawless appearance. Yeri looks disillusioned with these items before her, tired of the expectation placed on her appearance. 

The cassette tapes are another reference to outdated technology, this time musical technology. The tapes have writing on them: French copyright warnings, Canta U Populu Corsu, Renucci, Seru Giran, Barbara, Mozart. Canta U Populu Corsu was a Corsican music group. They spurred a revival in traditional Corsican language songs. Renucci was a French film director. Seru Giran was an Argentine rock group. Barbara was a French opera singer. Mozart was a Viennese composer. Like these artists came to represent their language and culture, Red Velvet will do the same with Korean. 

In the first screenshot, the ‘FM’ is most likely a reference to radio. Unlike the cassette tape, radio has remained relevant in the music industry. In the second, we see a more modern stereo system. The technology being presented is progressing toward the enduring, the more advanced. This progression is, of course, spurred by Red Velvet. Even if the way they’re viewed is outdated, they’re still progressing, working to change how they’re viewed. 


They’re seen in the car. There’s a nighttime city skyline behind them. It’s a strong contrast from the image of them in the school bus. Here they are presented as mature adults. They drive their own car. Their are no clones. This is a more accurate representation of who they are as artists than the school bus scenes. 

Eggs, in the traditional Easter sense, represent rebirth, resurrection, and growth. Even as this egg is shattered by a hammer, there isn’t a baby chick as maybe expected, but bright pink liquid. With each rebirth, or comeback, they will continuously present the unexpected. 

Wendy and Yeri read the results presented by this machine. Though they keep moving the paper as if they’re reading the results, they’re not actually looking at the paper. The actual results are irrelevant. Public opinion is irrelevant to them. It takes a back seat to their growth as artists.  

The old rotary dial phone, viewed for the second time in this video, is another reference to outdated technology. 

The miniature globe in the mannequin hand shows that while some are criticizing them for being “mannequins,” they’re meanwhile spreading their influence throughout the world. 

And finally the doll hits the ground, shattering. 

Throughout the video, Joy is presented as a sort of lookout. She’s seen looking into the machine where the dolls are produced, looking through the blinds. Here, she wears a worried, shocked expression on her face. She foresees difficulty in what they’re trying to accomplish, and hints at the malfunction of the machine system. The malfunction is made only clearer through the many clones running around the factory. 

Irene’s rap references Michael Jackson and his songs. The choreography, with the hand placed over the crotch, is another reference to Michael Jackson. As the “king of pop,” as he was called, he of course influences the careers of all pop artists. It gives the impression that just as Michael Jackson influences them, they’ll one day become such important influences. 

In case you didn’t know, people thought that bees were the tiniest birds for, like, 2000 years. This ‘bees are birds’ idea ties into Red Velvet’s representation as birds. Bees were considered by Greeks and Romans to be the birds of the Muses, enabling poets to write great poems and lyrics with their honey. This elevates the level of music Red Velvet is capable of putting out. Bees are also industrious, an entire hive unified with one goal. Their message of unity is also strengthened by the bee analogy. 

Like Joy, the other members can foresee difficulty. With the malfunction of the machinery around them, they face hardship. 

However, they manage to overcome this difficulty. And when they dance, the machinery dances with them. The factory that produced them now looks to them for guidance. 

In the end, we see the factory in absolute chaos. There’s paper everywhere. Yeri is throwing cheesepuffs. An alarm clock, a fan, a typewriter, a record player are flying around. And despite this chaos, there’s obvious joy. The factory can no longer function and that is how it should be. They’ve broken free of the system it tried to impose on them. They’re unified, but it doesn’t mean they’re mass produced. This unity is not a weakness or a cause for criticism. They are not dolls, or clones, or mannequins. They each have a vital role, their own color. Their unity is not anything except a force to be reckoned with. 

Caged [14]

Characters: NamjoonxReader
Length: 2497 words
Genre: Mafia AU
Warnings: Violence

Part 13  Part 15

There was a knock on the door before it flew open and only stopped when it hit the rubber stopper on the floor. The noise tore you from a dreamless sleep and your eyes darted around as you were trying to orient yourself. The covers were pulled to your chin and on top of them next to you was Namjoon, his arm resting heavily on your stomach and his forehead pressed against you shoulder. You had fallen asleep before he had come back from his phone call so you had no idea when he had come back to bed, but you smiled and turned your head to nuzzle into his disheveled hair.

At the other end of the room, Jin inhaled sharply.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

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anonymous asked:

What are your favourite quotes or thoughts from HTTYD series?

Yas! Quotes!!! I will admit I absolutely adore quotes. I have the opening to the first How to Train Your Dragon book completely memorized, and the first two HTTYD movies are so quotable you’ll frequently catch me irl making some quotation from them. I’ll plop in some of my all-time favorite quotes from the HTTYD DreamWorks franchise, including quotes from the television series.

Previous favorite quotes posts:

Favorite funny quotes:

  • “Excuse me, barmaid! I’m afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms, extra guts, and glory on the side.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD)
  • “Now, you’re thinking about this all wrong. It’s not so much what you look like, it’s what’s inside that he can’t stand.” - Gobber (HTTYD)
  • “Thank you for summing that up.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD)
  • “Pain. Love it.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD)
  • “Thanks for nothing, you useless reptile.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD)
  • “Gobber, take off your pants!” - Hiccup III (LOTBD)
  • “But you can raise us a ‘spank his skinny ass’.” - Ruffnut (ROB: Dragon Down)
  • “Better stop him – last time the Changewing hypnotized Hiccup, we found him nesting in the rafters of the Great Hall.” “My favorite was when he kissed Tuffnut. I dined on that story for a week!” - Fishlegs and Ruffnut (ROB: The Legend of Ragnarok)
  • “He’s looked angry since the day I was born. But I’m sure there’s no connection.” - Hiccup III (ROB: Animal House)
  • “Oh yeah? Well you know what this is? The size of your brain! Oh wait… that’s better.” - Hiccup III (ROB: Thawfest)
  • “That’s it. Keep talking, Snotlout, as your winning streak goes up in flames… just like your Rings of Deadly Fire.” - Hiccup III (ROB: Thawfest)
  • “Hey Fishlegs! You need some help getting your nose out of Hiccup’s -“ - Snotlout (DOB: Worst in Show)
  • "SLARBLURG! SLARBLURG! NORK NORK NORK!” - Snotlout (DOB: A View to a Skrill Part 1)
  • “When am I not safe? Uhhh… don’t answer that.” - Hiccup III (DOB: The Eel Effect)
  • “We were so close uniting our people. We could have had it all, you and me. We could have been kings among men… and dragons! And now look at us. What have we got, huh? Nothing. Nothing!” - Snotlout (DOB: The Eel Effect)
  • “You broke my heart, Thor. You broke it right in two.” - Snotlout (RTTE: Big Man on Berk)
  • “And finally, the letter ‘s’ has been officially removed from the alphabet. So you’re going to want to avoid words like sword… Severed leg… severed head… cyclone!” - Ruffnut and Tuffnut (RTTE: Reign of Fireworms)
  • “Toothle! Plama blat!” - Hiccup III (RTTE: Reign of Fireworms)
  • “The chicken is not amused.” - Tuffnut (RTTE: Reign of Fireworms)
  • “You’re harder to get rid of than life.” - Ruffnut (HTTYD 2 deleted scene)

Favorite serious quotes:

  • “I know what it’s like to miss someone you love this time of year. But what do we do when they can’t be here for the holiday? We celebrate them.” - Stoick (GOTNF)
  • “No! You wish I was your sister. You think I’d be dragging you all over the jungle if my brother weren’t the most important thing to me?” - Ruffnut (RTTE: Full Moon Rising)
  • “That’s my sister out there, Astrid. And if this goes wrong and we don’t save her… I couldn’t live with myself.” - Tuffnut (RTTE: Edge of Disaster)
  • “They say there’s two ways to be fooled: one is to believe what isn’t true, the other is to refuse to believe what is. Maces and Talons. I began playing with my grandfather when I was just a boy. I always insisted upon being the honorable Viking chief. I could never understand how he bested me time and time again. For years I assumed his skill transcended mine. I believed what wasn’t true. But you see, in Maces and Talons, as in life, the line between good and evil is often unclear. Black and white can become gray so easily. What one soul considers evil another might consider righteous. The honorable chief who fails to see this is found to be the fool.” - Viggo Grimborn (RTTE: Maces and Talons)
  • “Unreasonable men cannot be reasoned with.” - Stoick (HTTYD 2)
  • The lyrics of “For the Dancing and the Dreaming.” (HTTYD 2)
  • “STOP!” “Son!” “Dad, NO!” - Hiccup III and Stoick (HTTYD 2)
  • “No, get away from him! Go on, get out of here! Get away!” - Hiccup III (HTTYD 2)
  • “May the Valkyries welcome you and lead you through Odin’s great battlefield. May they sing your name with love and fury so that we may hear it rise from the depths of Valhalla and know that you have taken your rightful place at the table of kings. For a great man has fallen, a warrior, a chieftain, a father, a friend.” - Gobber (HTTYD 2)    
  • “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m not the chief that you wanted me to be, and I’m not the peace keeper I thought I was. I don’t know…I - I was so afraid of becoming my dad, mostly because I thought I never could. How do you become someone that great, that brave, that selfless? I guess you can only try. A chief protects his own. We’re going back.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD 2)
  • “It wasn’t your fault, bud. They made you do it. You’d never hurt him. You’d never hurt me. Please, you are my best friend, bud. My best friend.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD 2)
  • “I won’t leave you. I won’t let you go.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD 2 deleted scene)
  • “Now do you get it? This is what it is to earn a dragon’s loyalty. Let this end. Now.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD 2) 
  • “We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pit against us. We are the voice of peace, and bit by by, we will change this world.” - Hiccup III (HTTYD 2)
beyond I love you

Hi I’m a big fan of both TID and Mortal instruments series. There are two characters which are my favourite. Isabelle and Jem. Jem has been the character to get me through a time in my life when it wasn’t the easiest. He gave me hope. As for Isabelle she was the person I look up to be. The endings for these two characters for me felt heart breaking. I also was a little annoyed that everyone within Mortal instruments got a happy ending besides Isabelle. I was just wondering why these characters didn’t have a happy ending? These books are one of my must favourites to read if I have connections with each character. You are an amazing writer and I hope you continue in the future.… — jasington

So here’s the thing about having favorite characters that I have discovered due to being both a reader and then a writer: you always feel like your favorite character (or ship, but that’s another post) got done down, didn’t get written about as much as everyone else, didn’t get a happy ending, etc. I get written to constantly about how Jem got the happy ending and Will didn’t. Or how Gabriel didn’t get a happy enough ending, or Gideon, or Charlotte even, or Henry (who did get handed a crap sandwich at the end of Princess, though he leads a long and happy life after.)

It’s not that bad things have happened to them randomly, it is that they are your favorite and you want them to have All The Things. I get letters about how Jace and Clary didn’t get as happy an ending as Magnus and Alec because they are not as committed to their relationship being forever. I get messages about Magnus and Alec being done down because Alec, like every other person on the planet, will die someday. And messages about how Maia gets the fuzzy lollipop because her boyfriend didn’t just lose his memory, he died in front of her and her and Bat aren’t officially dating. Also, quite a volume about how Sebastian didn’t get a fair deal.

To me, Isabelle got what everyone got at the end of CoHF: she got a human ending. She lost Max, which was her biggest loss, and she experienced losing Simon, though by the end of CoHF is it clear he is back and they’re going to give it another try whether he remembers her or not. (And if you read Tales from Shadowhunter Academy, which I know you said you have not, you can read all about how that plays about and Isabelle and Simon’s happy ending.) But she also experienced victory, saving people and being saved, experienced being loved and loving, loss and losing, gaining friends and cementing family ties. Isabelle is a brave young woman, with great friends and a complicated but loving family; even if a piano had fallen on Simon, I would not consider her to have had an unhappy ending. If you feel differently, your feelings are totally valid, but it’s definitely worth asking yourself: Do I feel this way because this is actually an unhappy ending, or because I perceive other characters/ships as having gotten more? Maybe worth asking that about Jem, too, who I consider one of the happiest and luckiest characters I’ve ever written?

Hey Cassie! I loved Born to Endless Night so much I cannot even use words. Thank you and Sarah for such an amazing story- it is one of the best e-books ever! When Simon tells Izzy he loves her I squealed so much because oh my god! However I have noticed something about Izzy- she has never directly said it back! In CoHF she said that she has never told anyone she loves them (who is not in her family) and when Simon said he loved her but didn’t want her to say it back unless she meant it, she said- ‘I mean it’. And then in BtEN she said ‘I know’!!! Will Izzy ever just say it?! I doubt you will answer this but if you do it will mean the world to me. Thank you so much for the shadow world! (So hyped for LM, Angels Twice Descending and the TV show!) Thank you! — asgreenasfire

This might not seem like the same question as the above question, but to me they are actually related! Ok, here’s a thing: I am not actually a huge fan of the words “I love you.” Obviously I like them fine  in real life, or used casually in books, but as the apotheosis of a literary relationship, phrased that way, it does not work for me or interest me. And if I’m in a critique group, in someone else’s work, I’ll ding it with a comment: “Can’t you find another way to say this? Something that’s less generic and more about these people and this relationship?”

I do think of this as related to the above question, because sometimes this is less about the significance of the “I love you” and more about scorekeeping. There was a lot of arguing about whether and when Tessa said I love you to Jem and/or Will, and whether Jem had ever said it to Tessa and whether Will had, etc. I also got a lot of emails about Clary not saying it to Jace, and about Alec not saying it to Magnus, with neither the Clace people or the Malec people willing to acknowledge this might also be the case in other relationships in the books. :)  Here’s one about whether Jem ever said it to Tessa. (He did, just in Mandarin.) It happens with literally every ship, but every ship thinks it’s just them.

Going back to me not liking “I love you” — it isn’t because there’s anything wrong with the words, and my characters do say it all the time. It’s about the way they say it. Will saying “I am catastrophically in love with you” is to me enormously more interesting and more relevant to Will and Tessa than him saying “I love you, Tessa.” As is Jace saying, “I love you and I will love you until I die, and if there’s a life after that, I will love you then.” As is Alec saying to Magnus, “I would never want a less strange love.” (I have even seen the argument that Alec saying “I love you” to Magnus in BTEN does not “count” because it is in the middle of a sentence about his family, rather than a pronouncement he makes from the top of a tree or accompanied by Jace on the flute or whatever.)

As for Isabelle, when Simon says “I love you”, she says “I know” — which echoes him saying that that’s what he’s always wanted, back in City of Ashes. A girl who when he said “I love you,” said I know. It’s the best “I love you” she could give him, and much better than the three words “I love you” because it’s about Simon and Isabelle, it wouldn’t work for any other couple, but it works for them. As does Alec saying, Even if it were just days, I would want to spend them all with you to Magnus, because part of the core issue of their relationship has always been time, and the amount both of them have, and this is Alec saying: I don’t care about time, I only care about being with you. It’s about conquering that issue. Will saying he catastrophically loves Tessa is about him saying he understands that  it’s a terrible time, a terrible moment, but he loves her so much he can’t not say it. When Clary says "When I die and they burn my body and I become ashes that mix with the air, and part of the ground and the trees and the stars, everyone who breathes that air or sees the flowers that grow out of the ground or looks up at the stars will remember you and love you, because I love you that much” it’s her way of reassuring Jace, who has always believed love is destruction, that love is good things like the growing world and the natural beauty of the stars.

All these ways of saying I love you are about making the characters richer, deeper, more interesting and resonant. I have no recollection of anyone ever saying “I love you” to someone in a book, but I do remember Juliet saying and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine, and Cathy saying, Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same, or Wentworth writing I am half agony, half hope, or Jack’s I wish I knew how to quit you.

Obviously one does not spend all one’s time beating oneself up because one is not Shakespeare, but I, and every writer I know, do try to make the pronouncements of love in our books as memorable and character-specific as possible. It took days of tearing up paper to get I am catastrophically in love with you, and years of waiting for the right moment for Isabelle to say I know to Simon. In fact, I know, obviously, is a Star Wars reference, and the rumor is that the original version was “I love you, too.” Harrison Ford ad-libbed it into “I know,” and changed a forgettable line into something we all remember and look to — I have friends who have “I know” carved on the inside of their wedding bands. To turn the forgettable “I love you” into something people will remember is what we as writers are constantly striving for.

Greatest love triangle of all time.

Sec. 1 of ?

I am totally fascinated with the Sam-Dean-Cas dynamic. I love it. I can’t get enough of it. I, personally, view it very much as a love triangle, with Sam-Dean being platonic brotherly love, and Dean-Cas being romantic. It’s painful, it’s dramatic, and I LOVE IT. I know I’m in the minority (although @elizabethrobertajones​ and I had a lovely mutual venting session about some of these issues). I seriously see these three as one of the greatest fictional love triangles ever. 

For weeks I’ve been trying to find a way to explain the triangle, and I’m slowly realizing that I’m not going to be able to do it all in one sitting. I’ll just try to get it out one semi-cohesive section at a time. Today, I’m focusing on the way romance has been portrayed in the show thus far, along with the codependency in season 8. (Most of this section will focus on Sam and Dean.)

The entire Carver era finally shoved a spotlight on the codependency and showed it for what it was. Instead of just poking fun at it like the show has done before, the audience was shown just how isolating and destructive codependent relationships can be. Season 8 showed us the isolation brought on by the relationship itself, rather than outside forces. Seasons 9 and 10 showed us the destruction, and season 11 showed us the consequences and, finally, the realization that something has to change. (This is why I kinda love the Carver era, even with all of it’s plot holes and missteps.)

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|Norman Reedus imagine| requested

“Yeah … yeah okay that’s fine, so Starbucks at 12 right? Cool, I’ll meet you there, bye.” I said hanging up on my friend and began getting my stuff together. I grabbed my coat and bag whilst adjusting my glasses, I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my house keys and started to leave my 2 bedroom flat; of course not forgetting my current book I was reading. 

I opened the door and felt a chilly gust of wind breeze through my hair. I zipped up my coat and began walking to my local Starbucks to meet my friend, I opened the page I was on in my book and started to read whilst walking. I was a huge book person, I could never go a day without reading a book or anything of some sort and that makes me sound like such a bookworm but I absolutely love reading, kind of my getaway from reality.

Turning the corner I saw the local Starbucks and suddenly became excited for getting a hot chocolate. I kept reading my book, getting lost among the meaningful words until my book came crashing into my face and the feeling of me falling down, I awaited the impact from the floor but I never felt it but I felt a pair of strong, muscly arms grip tightly round my waist. I looked up to come face to face with the most handsome man I’d ever seen.

The man was smiling down at me, probably from how scared I looked or maybe the fact my hair was flying in all different directions. “Are you alright?” He asked, a little concern seeping into his voice. I nodded and smiled. The man began picking up my things from the floor that had fallen down. I started straightening my hair with my fingers until I was satisfied, the man put my glasses back on for me and chuckled. “Thank god they ain’t broken huh?” He smiled as he grabbed my book. “ ‘All The Light We Cannot See’, great book tha’ is.” He said handing it back to me. “Yeah I love it, thank you by the way, I’m Y/N.” I said sticking out my hand for him to shake it. “I’m Norman.” He smiled taking my hand. 

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear suddenly becoming nervous. I’m not too good around men, especially one as attractive as Norman. “Hey um … why don’t ya let me buy you a drink since I ran into you and all?” He stuttered out, I nodded and half smiled at him. I told Norman what I wanted and found a table for us to sit at, I didn’t have to meet my friend for at least another half an hour so I was fine with talking to Norman. Norman came back with my hot chocolate and his coffee. 

“So tell me about your wonderful self, Y/N.” Norman said sipping his coffee. “I um … I like to read.” I stuttered. Norman began laughing and he nodded. 

“Yeah I err got that one.” He chuckled and looked at me, he had the most beautiful pair of blue eyes ever. I adjusted my glasses and looked down becoming self conscious for no reason. “You’re cute when you’re nervous.” Norman said, I looked up to see him smiling down at me, I blushed 50 shades of red and chuckled nervously. “What do you do for a living?” I asked changing the subject. “I’m an actor and do a bit of modelling here and there.” He said tightening up his black tie and straightening his grey shirt. 

It had been about an hour and my friend still hadn’t turned up so Norman and I were talking away for ages. We got to know each other pretty well and I think hes an absolutely great guy. I found out he has a son and hes also starring in a new TV show called The Walking Dead which sounded good, I’m not that into TV shows but I’ll watch it if Norman’s in it. 

I heard the door open and my friend stepped in, she caught my eye and waved at me. “I’m sorry Norman, I have to go now, It was great meeting you I had a lovely time.” I said standing up and smiling. He shook my hand and leaned in to kiss my cheek. “Lovely meeting you too Y/N. I hope I see you again, although I hope I don’t knock you over next time.” He chuckled making me smile. 

I went over to my friend and we left Starbucks deciding to just go to her house. Half way down the road I heard a voice call my name. “Y/N!” I turned round to see Norman running towards me, holding out a piece of paper. “You left something behind.” He panted giving me the paper. It had his phone number on it. “Wow was this meant to be some pick up line or something?” I chuckled, seeing my friend behind me bite her lip excitedly. “Did it work?” Norman said looking at me as he scratched the back of his neck. “Maybe” I smiled, “Then yeah it was. Call me sometime and I’ll take you out for dinner?” He said putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. I nodded and smiled. 

“Wow you two are the perfect dork couple.” My friend burst out laughing and I punched her arm playfully. 

Boy I couldn’t wait to see Norman again.

Always my savior // Part 5

PAIRINGS: Theo Raeken x Reader

WORD COUNT: 2, 370

WARNINGS: smut

A/N: So here is part 5 of my story :) I hope you enjoy it and i promise part 6 will be up soon ♥ Tell me what your opinion is and if you want to be tagged when i upload a new part :) 

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Originally posted by bysamoylova

One month later

I was sleeping so sweetly until the freaking sunlight coming from the window decided to wake me up. Rubbing my eyes I drove away the sleep. When I opened my eyes I turned toward the half naked body next to me. Seeing Theo’s muscles moving slightly due to the inhaling and the exhaling I smiled. Slowly I drew my hand along his back. But the light was still annoying me, so I went and closed the curtains. The room became darker and so my eyes started shutting due to the lack of sleep. Having all the energy left I returned to the bed before I had fallen asleep standing and laying head on the window.

Minutes later I was still awake.

“Fuck it!”, I murmured in order not to wake the sleeping boy. Watching him made me think of all the moments we had after our first date.

“I cannot believe you!”, Stiles shouted, “Theo freaking Raeken is your boyfriend ?!”

“Deal it Stiles!”, I rolled my eyes, “I like him, he likes me, I do not see why not dating him!”, that boy was getting on my nerves.

“But he is bad! He only wants you to join the dark side with him.”

“If you tell me one more time that Theo is the devil, I’m gonna slice you!”, I threatened him, “Haven’t you heard that friends are supposed to support you !? I thought you could be happy about me at least…”

“Of course I’m happy (Y/N)! I just think he is not the guy for you! And that he will break your heart and hurt you.”

That was enough!

“You are an indeed good friend, Stiles.”, with a hurt expression I left school. Thank goodness I didn’t have more classes. When I was outside I saw Theo waiting for me. The bad mood vanished and a big smile appeared on my face.

“Hey, babe!”, I greeted him with a kiss and a hug.

“Hello, sweetheart.”, Theo smiled back and leaned for another kiss.

“Do you have plans for tonight?”, I pried as we got in the car.

“Of course, I’m going to hand out with a really pretty and sweet girl from my History class.”

“What !?”, I kind of shouted and looked at him with wide eyes. The only girl popping in my head was the new classmate Tracy.

“I’m talking about you, Dopy.”, he chuckled.

“Ooh…I’m glad to hear it.”, I kissed him in the cheek and returned on my seat. Theo’s hand was lying on my hip as always. Soon we were in front of my house. We got out of the car and went inside.

“What about a movie night ?”, I suggested. The boy nodded and ensconced himself on the sofa turning on the TV while I went in the kitchen. Opening the fridge I searched for something to eat but where that luck from. I felt arms on my tights and although I knew who it was I still flinched.

“Is my baby doll hungry, huh ?”, wrapping hands around me, Theo began placing kisses behind my ear, down my neck and then on my shoulder. I moaned in response which caused him to form a smile. “I’m a really good cook. Would you want me to cook you something, princess?”

“Only if I help you, my knight in shining armor.”

We put all the needed ingredients on the table and got to work. Theo was telling me what to do and I was listening like a good child. I mixed the eggs, sugar and the flour.

“Now leave the work for the professional.”, grabbing the bowl from me he continued adding more things.

“I just want to help!”, I stated.

“I’m aware, sweetheart but you can sit and watch.”, being kind of offended, I sat angrily on a chair. The eggs were before me and Theo was with his back to me. A mischievous smile appeared on my face. Taking one egg I approached Theo and broke the egg on his head. He turned around slowly and looked at me wrathfully.

“You are declaring a war!”, he started walking towards me, while I was backing, “You are gonna pay for this.”, grabbing some flour he threw it at me. Not so long afterwards the whole kitchen was decorated with eggs, some caramel, chocolate, and everything you can think of. I grasped the nearest bowl and poured in on Theo. It turned out to be the last chocolate spread left.

“I must admit it. You look damn delicious.”, licking and biting my lips I looked at him.

“Wanna take a bite?”, he came and hugged me unexpectedly covering me in chocolate. I tried to pull away but that only cause us to fall on the ground laughing. Then suddenly Theo licked my jaw.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning my dirty, dirty princess.”, I smirked and licked a line from his collar bone to his ear

“Then you can continue working.”, I whispered.

Well, I can tell you that the kitchen wasn’t the only filthy room.

As I was chuckling happily at the thought I felt a movement n the bed. Turning around I perceived that Theo had turned around and now was facing me. I smiled seeing his peaceful expression. I turned aside to face him. He looked like an angel to me. How can Stiles think he is vicious? He was the best boyfriend I could have had and I liked everything in him.

For example how he had gotten excessively jealous when he’d seen a boy asking me for a pen. The way he had clenched his fist, grinded his teeth and was about to kick the hell out of that poor student but with one touch I could stop him. Honestly, I adored when he wanted to show I was his. The hickeys he left on places I couldn’t hide later, the hugs on every break at school, when he put his arm on my shoulders, the death glares towards every male creature.

My favorite moments were when he made me breakfast in the bed, or when we cooked together and although it always ended in a big mess, we had a lot of fun. And something I never thought he would do was the unusual dates but sometimes I preferred when he was cocky and full of confidence. In those days he was able to piss me off so easily and was provoking me like 24/7.

I adored how frustrated he became when I was playing with his hair and then how he tickled me in revenge. But what I loved most where his eyes. Those blue eyes making me feel loved, showing me how much he cared about me. The way I made them became darker with my nasty teases or when the sparkled due to laugh at my stupid jokes. Ah, and those tight hugs! He was holding me tenderly yet firmly as though he would lose me. His touch could send me on cloud nine, knowing what it felt like to be in heaven, yet the passion and desire I had for him were the sin locking me a place in hell forever.

“Why am I catching you looking at me so often?”, Theo murmured in his sleepy voice which was incredibly hot.

“Maybe because I like the view.”, I said and neared him. Opening his eyes, Theo smiled. His hand landed on my tights he drew me closer to him.

“Not as much as me.”, his lips slowly connected with mine.

“You narcissistic donut!”

“You perfectly know that I was talking about you.”, he laughed and continue kissing my lips, jaw, then the neck.

“Oh, really?” but the only response I got was a murmur between the kisses. I pulled away and looked at him. “I don’t think I can believe you.” He flipped us over so now he was on top of me.

“I like seeing you when I wake up, sweetheart. Knowing that you are here with me makes me the happiest person alive.”, he looked me directly in the eyes showing that the words were coming from his heart. “I like seeing your hair scattered on the pillow, your cutie face when you sleep.”, he took a lock of hair and played with it. “I don’t know if you realize it but you drool when you sleep.”

“And I thought you would say something romantic.”, I giggled. “Wait…did you- did you just tried to quote one of my favorite books?”

“Maybe.”, leaning closer he crashed his lips in mine again. This time it wasn’t just a good morning kiss, it became passionate and rough. His hands roamed on my body – squeezing my ass, playing with my panties, gripping my tights.

“As much as I like you wearing my clothes…”, not giving him the chance to talk, I finished his sentence.

“You’ll prefer them on the floor. Am I right?”

“You know me like nobody else does.”, his fingers find the edging of the blouse and removed it slowly, revealing my almost naked body. He bit his lips and smirked while admiring the view. Taking his hand in mine I ran it through the valley between my breasts, my stomach and stopped on my panties. The whole time I wasn’t breaking an eye contact with him.

“You are driving me crazy, baby doll.”, tearing my bikini he threw them away.

“You didn’t have to be that rough.”, Theo spread my legs.

“You like it.”, then he licked a long line on the inner part of my hips.

“Yeah, but because of that I’m running out of underwear.”, knotting my fingers in his hair I guided him towards my core. “And you know I hate you teasing me so do you job Raeken!”, I stated kind of frustrated. I was craving for his touch, his mouth and that hell of a tongue.

Tightly grapping my hips he kissed my cunt causing me to moan. Then he started moving his tongue – driving circles, the number eight, eating me out. Soon he added his middle finger slow-moving it.

“Oh, god! Right there! Ah, yes!”, he turned me into a mess yet we were only in the beginning of our game. I needed to come and Theo’s actions were only teasing me. “I need to come, honey! Please!”

I felt the smirk appearing on his face as he moved his fingers fast driving me on the edge. Holding the sheets tightly I was relishing on the indescribable pleasure Theo was giving to me. Seconds later I felt warmth in my stomach. With my boyfriend’s name on my lips I screamed in delight as I came around his finger.

Regaining my breath I opened my eyes. Theo came into view and I saw him licking his fingers. Watching him like that caused me think about some impure things I wanted to do with that boy. Crawling back to me, he stood just inches away from my lips. When I tried to cut the distance, he moved slightly away still leaving a small gap between us.

“Just kiss me already!”, I demanded.

“Why are you so eager?”

“Because you are a freaking bastard and I need you. Now!”

Finally I managed to kiss him. Biting his lower lip I begged for him to let me in. Our tongues were fighting an endless war. We were both stubborn to let the other win but I surrendered. I had to – the blood in my veins was boiling and only because of him. He explored my mouth, while his hands were playing with my boobs. Scratching his back and drawing them down I soon felt the fabric of his boxers, who were quite smaller due to his erection. Smiling I pulled them down. Theo tried to stand and removed them from his body but I stopped him.

“No time, honey.”, I wrapped my legs around Theo to get him closer.

“Tell me what you want!”

“I want you big cock inside me. I want you to fuck me hard as though there is no tomo-Ah yes!”

Without warning he entered me. I dug my nails in his back and closed my eyes trying to accustom to his length. Seconds later he began moving. Each trust became faster and faster. Placing my right leg on his shoulder, he fucked me in a whole new angle which gave him the opportunity to get deeper and hit my g-spot. The trusts were so intense and due to his supernatural strength the bed was slightly hitting the wall. My body was on fire, lightened from the smallest spark. The whole room was filled with our groans and moans, the sound of skin slapping skin. Theo’s mouth found my breasts and paid attention to each of them. Not long after I felt a familiar sensation in my stomach.

“Oh, god! T-Theo…I-I’m clo-close.”, I stammered.

“Come around me, you dirty princess.”, those words were the only thing I needed – I came with Theo’s name on my lips. As soon as I finished, my boyfriend’s substance filled me. After he pulled out, Theo laid next to me trying to catch his breath as I did.

“I like having se-”, but I got cut due to Theo’s phone ringing.

“Hold on a second, sweetheart.”, he looked at the device and within seconds he was out of bed dressing.

“What’s going on ?”, I asked surprised.

“I have some work to do.”, leaning on, he kissed me on the cheek and grabbed a shirt from the wardrobe.

“But we usually cuddle after sex.”

“Maybe the next time. See you later, honey.”, with those words he left the room leaving me lying naked on the bed with a confused expression.  Lately he was leaving me behind because of some non important things as he had told me without explaining me where he was going. He would just vanish in seconds when his phone rang. I was getting suspicions.

‘What if he has another girlfriend?’, but as soon as that thought appeared in my mind I wanted to slap myself for even thinking that. But something was going on and I had to find out what it was.

To be continue…

Legend of Korra spoilers below

The thing about the whole “it’s out of nowhere!” argument against Korrasami is that it highlights how disconnected TV romances are from reality.

I don’t see the final moments of The Legend of Korra as Korra and Asami’s definitive declaration of lifelong companionship; I see it as two people who have loved each other as friends for a long time realizing that they are actually in love, and taking those first steps that people who have just fallen in love do. And that’s kind of beautiful. It’s so rare to see that aspect of humanity portrayed on a show.

There is so much pressure to avoid depicting the first steps of life after characters fall in love. Shows generally follow the Love Actually rules of romance, in which a) saying the words “I love you” sign, seal, and deliver a promise of a lifetime together and b) up to the point where characters say “I love you”, they will go to comic and absurd lengths to avoid acting like they like one another.

There seems to be this unspoken rule on TV that quiet contentment between two characters actively in love with one another is boring; that romantic tension is demanded: the “will they or won’t they hook up” game before they get together, the “will they or won’t they break up” game after; that two characters cannot love each other as friends, realize they are in love, and just quietly proceed from there.

And that is why I liked the last few minutes of Korra so much. There was no need to embellish the relationship between Korra and Asami any more than we already knew of them for a romance to be believable. I bought it far more than Korra and Mako, whose relationship consisted almost entirely of the TV romance cliches we apparently demand. And if you break it down, it was no more out of left field than Varrick and Zhu Li’s romance, which went from Varrick being an oblivious ass to her to wedded bliss in about three scenes. Before this episode, we already knew Korra and Asami loved each other dearly. Do you want to add the “as friends” qualifier? Fine. Friends can and do fall in love. And not always with fireworks. Sometimes, romance quietly blossoms from friendship, and it’s a gentle sort of joy, one that is all too often ignored by television.

“Now you wait just a second,” Iris West says as the door swings shut behind her. She’s drenched from the downpour, and she knows her waterlogged hair is going to be a problem as soon as it dries. She doesn’t care.

The Flash hesitates, lightning already cracking around him.

“You’re just going to save me and run?” she demands, her hands firmly planted on her hips. “Is that it? Not even say a word to me?”

She sees him vibrate for a second, his whole body fading in and out of her line of sight, but then he sighs and comes back to her. He’s a vision in crimson, as always; tall, imposing, magnificent.

Iris can hear sirens in the distance, and Barry holds his hand against his ear as if he’s waiting for some word to release him, to give him a way out, but he doesn’t move. She hopes that Cisco heard her yell, that even if there is a criminal roaming the streets of the city, he chooses to give them a minute to themselves.

Barry stands up straight, his shoulders pushed back, his body rigid. She sees the set of his jaw and the way he chooses a point, just above her head on which to fix his gaze. “I’m glad you’re safe, Miss West,” he says. 

His response, so calm, calculated, and detached, makes her nostrils flare with anger. So they’ve fallen back into the territory of Miss West, have they? Like he can’t even say her name out loud? The nerve of him. 

“Seriously? That’s all?” Iris takes a step forward, then two, her line of sight centered on the vibrating mask of Barry’s face. He doesn’t move, which is a relief in and of itself. Every time she’d tried to approach him in the past two weeks, he’d run away from her faster than she could even blink. 

He shimmers, like the energy inside of him can’t wait to get out. “I don’t know what you mean,” he says, his voice still polite and detached. Iris clicks her tongue and thinks, this sonofabitch

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The Light in the Dark

TITLE: The Light in the Dark

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Fourteen


AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine being blinded in an accident while helping S.H.I.E.L.D., you live in the Tower with everyone but dread the way they treat you like a helpless child. When Loki arrives on Midgard to carry out the rest of his sentence he becomes curious with your condition and how you manage to read and such. Over the months the two of you grow closer than the others thought possible. You come to love him without ever seeing him. 

RATING: Teen and Up

With the capture of Johnson and his unit, SHIELD and in turn the Avengers, were busy trying to find those who had hired the agents to commander both the weapons and formula that could impede, or worse, destroy the Avengers; meaning that for the vast majority of the time, it was simply you, Beauty and Loki in Stark Tower. 

“What are you doing?” Loki watched you fearfully as he came into the common area.

“I am going to see if I can figure out cooking again, well some shred of it. I think I will be a long time getting back to actually making anything of any substance. By the way, have you eggs on Asgard?” You asked as you beat a few eggs in a bowl.

“No, there are no fowl of any manner there.” Loki rolled his eyes as his voice dripped sarcasm. “Of course there is.”

“Then could you see if I put any eggshell in this please.”

Loki rolled his eyes again before coming over to check. “Is there supposed to be?”

“Oh, there is, I am just asking because I wanted to make myself seem like an idiot.” You snarked back before sticking out your tongue.

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"I'm Not Like Those Other Girls", or "How Striving To Be The Low-Maintenance Perfect Woman Has Actually Harmed My Relationships"

Warning: the language used in this post is going to be fairly heteronormative-sounding due to the usual types of relationships and interactions that seem to bring on this toxic issue. However non-hetero people can and do fall into the same traps.

We’ve all heard it when we’re starting up a relationship. “You’re amazing,” he says, in awe of you. “You’re so laid back, you’re into all the stuff I’m into, you’re not dramatic or high-maintenance… you’re not like other girls.”

It sounds so nice, doesn’t it? It sounds like a compliment. Like you’ve risen above your basic evolutionary failings as a girl and you’ve grown into a confident emotionally mature (and therefore attractive) woman. You don’t stoop to those low levels of backstabbing catty jealous girlhood, which is something everyone seems to quietly agree is “the norm”. You’re not like those other girls - you’re better.

It works for a while, doesn’t it? After all, your relationship is going well. You have so many things in common, you feel confident in his devotion to you. You’re in love and when you’re in love there’s no need for drama, no need for insecurity, no need for arguments and demands (all of which are clearly failings on the Other Girls’ end). He goes on and on about how this all makes you the Perfect Woman.

But it doesn’t last, does it? Suddenly you start noticing little things here and there. Logically you know it probably means that New Relationship Smell is fading away. Which isn’t a bad thing, you’ve become established as a couple. But it means you’re suddenly needing more. You aren’t as comfortable with him blowing off important things in favor of his own hobbies and interests. You aren’t okay with the way he teases your shortcomings. You aren’t as easy-going when he forgets to call or text when he’s out late drinking or partying with his friends to make sure he’s safe. All seemingly easy things to work on, right? Unless you’re still striving to be his Perfect Woman.

It’s not easy, is it? You have to make a choice. Do you sacrifice your status as The Perfect Woman and bring up these issues? Do you ask him to make changes to improve your relationship? Or do you stay silent, because his insistence on your attractiveness being rooted in your lack of “Other Girl”-ness seems vital to your relationship.

So now what? You have a choice. You either smile and nod and pretend these things still don’t bother you the same way they didn’t bother you in the beginning (which, despite what he might say, is not hypocritical… people change)… or you fight for your relationship to evolve and grow and demand the same level of respect and compromise from him that he demands from you. In the first scenario, he stays comfortable. He stays happy. He still sees you as this paragon of girl-ness, this amazing hero of femininity that doesn’t come with the awful complications thousands of movies and books and TV shows and comedians insist exists in every woman… but you sacrifice your own happiness in pursuit of this ideal of “perfection” he’s encouraged. In the second scenario you stand your ground and insist on your own happiness’s importance, and you strive for an adult and equal relationship… while running the risk of losing the person you love because his illusion is shattered. In an ideal scenario he’ll appreciate your candor and independence of his vision of you. He grows to love you as the individual and not as the dream. But that’s not always how that ends - you know this. And loneliness is a powerful fear. Is it worth the risk?

I personally struggle with this constantly (even more so in poly when his other relationships might be a bit heavier on “drama” - it’s easy to want to be the stable thing he can count on). In every relationship I’ve started with a man, he’s fallen head over heels in love with the idea that I’m Not Like Other Girls. I match his interests and hobbies, I’m patient and relaxed, I’m confident, I’m selfless. Everything is drama-free and upfront, everything is good and wonderful and “perfect”.

Which has put me in a bind every time. Because when a problem does arise, suddenly I’m not sure if me fighting it is going to be seen as being an independent individual (with the confidence he claims he loves) or I’m going to be seem as Just Another Dramatic Girl.

The easy solution here is to stop seeing these Girls and Women as a hive mind. Every woman has a different heart and mind, every woman will be bothered by things another woman won’t, every woman will find some things fun and others frustrating. There is no “Other Girls” (In fact, I prefer not to be called a “girl” at all but that’s not the issue at hand here). I’m a grown woman, an individual. I’m not unique in this. I AM “like other girls”. I will have flaws and perks, I will have strengths and weaknesses, I will like one thing and hate another and it will be just as unique and different as every single other woman out there.

This is a flaw in everyone’s logic, men and women alike. Some women like to brag that “they’re not like those other girls” - I’ve been guilty of this same thing. This is, we think, a compliment. Girls are backstabbing, girls are shallow, girls are catty, girls don’t like “boy things” like cars and sports and geek culture, girls are fake, girls are over-emotional. Some girls backstab, sure. Some are shallow. Some are catty. But all of these traits, good and bad, are gender-neutral. But the assumption that women are the “other” whereas male is the assumed dominant gender means that it’s easy to lump them all into one category. It’s why stereotypes are assumed to be truth - the “default” needs to categorize and limit in order to, in their minds, “understand”. There is no understanding women, same as there is no understanding men. You can understand on an individual level only. Seeing an individual and limiting them to the stereotypes of their group is unfair… it limits them, it limits you, and it limits your relationship.

So yes, this has harmed my relationships, over and over. Because over and over I find myself not liking something a partner has said or done, and I stop myself before speaking. Will I be seem as too confrontational? Is this a legitimate problem, or “just drama”? Am I being unreasonable? All of these things are questions the “Perfect Woman” has to keep asking herself. Everyone has a limit, everyone has something they won’t be happy with when interacting with another human being. That’s not “drama”, that’s not “over-emotional”. It’s conflict, sure. But some conflict is healthy. Without conflict and individual cannot grow, and without conflict (from both outside and inside) a couple cannot grow either. I don’t mean constant fighting or anything, but a relationship should be between two individual personalities and people with individual wants and needs, and conflict is necessary and normal. It’s not easy, but it’s healthy.

This can’t and won’t be fixed overnight with me. Every time a man is excited that I’m not dramatic or jealous or reactionary, I worry that any negative in our relationship is going to shift his perspective and his vision of me will be destroyed and I lose that connection. In an ideal world I’d shrug this off with a “well I can do better - if all he wants is the idea of me and leaves the second I’m not as low-maintenance as he wants, I’m better off”… and as an idea that’s correct. But that risk is always going to be there, that concern and worry in the back of my mind… even if they’ve not really done anything to cause or encourage that concern.

The best way to rid ourselves of this is to accept that there is no “Other Girls”. Because I am like other girls, honey. I am. I am unique, yes, but so are they. There is no universal feminine trait, there is no hive mind. Do not compliment me by putting other women down. Not only do you insult other women, you insult me, and you set our relationship up for failure from the very beginning. Because now everything about me that you end up not liking will be lumped as a “woman” thing and you’ll either ignore it entirely (“Honey it’s just your time of the month, this isn’t a real problem” or “Why do girls always get so upset about this?” - which rids yourself of the responsibility as my partner to engage in this discussion and work on it with me) or you’ll feel betrayed because you thought I was somehow above the pack.

So, yes. In all ways I’m not like other girls, in the exact same ways that I am like other girls. Hell even you, male reader, are both like and unlike these mystical “Other Girls”. There are no feminine traits, there are no masculine traits. Jealousy, shallowness, cattiness, anger, avoidance, passive aggression… all of these and more as seen as “Other Girls” traits, but both men and women have them. Yes even that Perfect Woman that you think is exempt from human flaws.

Stop. Stop saying I’m not like other girls. Stop establishing early on that these flaws and hurt feelings aren’t allowed. I am like other girls. I am like other women. I am like some men, too. And until you realize we’re on the same page emotionally, we’re not going to work. The less pressure out there to be “better” than others in your group, the more we can have an open and honest and healthy relationship where we can BOTH discuss what bothers us and what makes us happy. Even if those things are “stereotypical”.

Luke - Stupid Mistakes Part 9

Here’s the next part of Stupid Mistakes, I never thought that people would request this many parts and I really appreciate it! In this part she finds out some news about Ashton that should make her feel better, but instead it does the opposite… Request if you want the next part, I have two more parts that I have planned.

Masterlist

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

A knocking sound disrupted me from my sleep, but I chose to ignore it as I swiftly closed my eyes shut and rolled away from the irritating sound. Knock. Knock. The sound wouldn’t stop and it was gradually waking me up. I groaned and rolled out of bed, realising that someone was at my door. I could’ve killed them since I was ridiculously tired because I couldn’t fall asleep last night and it had felt like I had only managed to achieve ten minutes of sleep. I rubbed my eyes as I groggily dragged myself to the door and swung it open with a scowl firmly etched onto my face.
‘Wha-’ I began, but I was suddenly interrupted as a bright red haired guy leaped onto me whilst exclaiming my name.
‘Michael! You idiot! You terrified me.’ I scolded, but softened as I tightly hugged him. In response he laughed and squeezed me back.
'I have two questions. A: what bloody time do you call this?’ I asked pulling away. 'And b: why didn’t you tell me you had died your hair red?!’ I said raising my eyebrows and crossing my arms.
'A, it’s about half six in the morning I think and b, I’m sorry.’ He said, pulling a sheepish smile.
'I’ve missed you, you idiot.’ I said, giving him another quick hug. Clearly, I had slept longer than it felt like.
'You’re forgiven and was I not allowed a sleep in?’ I asked, shutting the door and dropping onto my couch.
'Nope, today’s your day off and we’re busy tonight obviously.’ He said smiling as he was doing a show here tonight, which I could tell he was already really pumped for and perched next to me on the couch. 'And the guys want to see you…Luke wants to see you.’ He said wiggling his eyebrows and nudging my side. A sickness returned to my stomach that he had momentarily made me forget. The last phone call I had received from Ashton stampeded into my mind. But I put on a smile to make it seem like I was excited and happy to see Luke, when in reality I was confused and had no idea how to handle it all. 'So, go get ready.’ He said, getting up and throwing some clothes at me from my newly washed clothes pile that I hadn’t had chance to put away yet.
'Well these are pj shorts and that’s a work blouse, so I won’t be putting them on.’ I said laughing and pushed myself up off the couch.
I got ready and we made our way outside my apartment where a car was waiting for us.

'Are you joking?’ I replied to Calum when I found out that the other two members had fallen asleep. 'They cannot be sleeping when I was rudely awoken to come and see you all, which I would have been perfectly fine with if everyone had to suffer through the morning too.’ I grumbled as I collapsed on the couch. Calum sensed that I needed coffee and made me a steaming hot cup, which I really appreciated.
'Shit.’ Michael mumbled as he fumbled in his jacket pockets. 'I left my phone in the car.’ He groaned.
'You idiot.’ I said, rolling my eyes.
'I’ll be right back.’ He said as he headed for the door.
When it closed I got up from the couch to join Calum at the breakfast bar.
'What you got there?’ I asked.
'Jam and toast.’ He said smiling. 'Would you like some?’ He stuffed the rest of the slice into his mouth as he got up from his stool, which all happened before I answered.
'You know me too well Cal.’ I said, giggling.
'Yup I do.’ He shuck his head, but his smile grew as he grabbed a couple of slices of bread and dropped them into the toaster.
He placed my jam covered toast in front of me and we had a catch up about our last month. He told me about all the gigs they had played, the pranks they had pulled on each other and the celebrity gossip he had heard. My stories were definitely way more boring, but he listened and seemed to enjoy it, especially the part when I had tripped over and spilled coffee all over my boss, which he nearly cried with laughter.
'It’s not funny!’ I exclaimed hitting him.
'Yeah it is!’
'Urgh I hate you.’ I said, rolling my eyes.
'No you don’t.’ He said, hugging me.
'Okay, maybe I don’t.’ I admitted, hugging him back.
'Y/N?’ He said, when he pulled away, immediately sobering up.
'What is it Cal?’ I asked, concern and worry filling my mind.
'I know that Ash rang you up the night you flew home, and I know what he said.’ He said, completely serious. No one would have guessed that he had been doubled over with laughter minutes earlier.
'Oh,’ was all I could force myself to say, as I stared at my hands resting on my lap.
'And I don’t think he remembers admitting his feelings.’ He continued to say.
'Oh.’ I said, looking up at him to realise his words were true. It should have made me feel relieved and glad that I didn’t have to deal with it. But I didn’t. Instead a wave of sadness washed over me and I felt an ache of loss in the pit of my stomach, which was stupid because I had lost nothing. But spending that afternoon in the coffee shop with Ashton was really fun. We had gotten along so well and I couldn’t deny that I had felt something stir whilst I was with him, especially the way my heart beat quicker when he gave me his jacket, and the possibility of something more was exciting. But then there was Luke and I felt so conflicted all the time, but at least this way I didn’t have to make a choice. 'That’s good.’ I said, with an unconvincing smile and a crack in my voice.
'Y/N.’ Calum sighed, looking concerned and apologetic that he had made me feel like this.
'No I’m fine.’ I said, trying to convince myself for than him.
'I’m back.’ Michael sung as he opened the front door. 'Did you both miss me?’ He asked with a cheeky grin.
'No.’ I said, sticking my tongue out at him, which he mimicked.
'Where have you been?’ Calum asked suspiciously. 'It definitely didn’t take that long to get downstairs.’
'It didn’t. I craved a meatball sub, so I went to get one.’ He shrugged and jumped on the couch and put the TV on.
Calum rolled his eyes as I laughed. I missed the guys’ dynamic and every time I saw them it was always easy to slip in to.
We went to join him watch how I met your mother. Michael’s humour and the show helped to allow me push down my feelings and temporarily forget about Aston’s drunken-caused amnesia, but there was still an uneasy current that I tried hard to forget about.

Part 10

The Drunkalypse 5.4 “Sons of the Harpy”

6/10 Angry Drogons

First off, thank you to arrestedwesteros for joining me this week in watching the episode, and putting up with me singing Take My Breath Away during the Stonnis scenes from the episode 3 rerun

That being said, we have pirates, foreign exchange students and general confusion, so let’s do it

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