i have failed you

dangerbooze asked:

I love your blog! It never fails to make smile. Also, have you read Tithe or Valiant by Holly Black? They're part of her Modern Faerie Tales series outside of the Spiderwick Chronicles. They're a good read :)

yes she understands

The ultimate way to stop putting men on a pedestal is to talk to them, make them feel safe and secure and have them open up to you. Without fail I have found that every. single. guy. has a sexual history that would put a disgusting taste in your mouth. Not necessarily in number of partners but in sordid depravity.
See if you can still pedestalize these dudes once you’ve heard mr. babyface admit to slobbering his own jizz off of his older girlfriends pussy/getting pissed on/having a threesome with another dude before you.

random as heck aus that i sort of want
  • the ‘why are you staying in my childhood room’ au
  • the ‘both of us are sharing one body somehow and it’s bad’ au
  • the ‘you’ve mistaken me for a far nobler profession than the humble con artist i am’ au
  • the ‘friendly ghost who helps me out’ au
  • the ‘we have to find out who this random child belongs to’ au
  • the ‘competing musical divas’ au
  • the ‘i’m failing math and you have to tutor me’ au
  • the ‘we’re both nerds so let’s pretend to date so we seem more likable and popular’ au

my mum asked me what I want for christmas and I jokingly mumbled “an erwin smith body pillow” and then I heard her slowly repeat it to herself, I look up and she’s fUCKING GOOGLING IT ON HER PHONE AND I LET OUT SOME STRANGLED NERVOUS LAUGH AND SAY I WAS JUST JOKING AND NOT TO BOTHER LOOKING IT UP BUT SHE DID

she just stared at the screen for a moment and then looked back up at me while I’m just sitting there sweating 

I have never seen my mother look so disappointed in me

4

Sterek AU: Stiles has been madly in love with his TA ever since he stood up in Physics 101 and started waxing lyrical about gravity and the theory of relativity. His original plan was to blow Derek away with his mental prowess but after he got his first quiz back it was pretty clear that that wasn’t going to happen any time soon (it’s kinda hard to concentrate on physics when there’s 200 pounds of muscle and eyebrows at the front of class). Now he’s taken to stalking accidentally being in the vicinity of Derek in the hopes that his dashing good looks and charm will attract Derek’s attention. 

This is probably going to go about as well as that physics quiz. 

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positive lady characters meme
catelyn stark + strengths and flaws (asked by holyathenas & anonymous)