i haven’t written wlw in so long so forgive me but….. dan/renee fluff for @jesperfaehey. i hope you enjoy!! and congrats again <3
Dan uses her exaggeratedly tired sigh as an excuse to rest her head in Renee’s lap. Gamely, with her characteristic gentle smile, Renee puts aside her book and starts to run her fingers through Dan’s hair. “You’re having a good day, then?”
“Why did Wymack have to wait until my final year to introduce all the problem children?” Dan says, in a drawn-out whine.
“Because last year was so wonderful. And… all of the years previous,” Renee moves her eyebrows into a confused expression, still smiling.
“Okay, yeah, I get you, Neil and Andrew and… the whole team are problem children. We’re problem children. But we started working together last year!”
“That was lovely,” Renee agrees.
“And then we just, you know, double the line up, and everyone hates each other again. We’re not even in practice and Jack was trying to fuck me over. I think I’m finally ready to leave Palmetto,” Dan says, knowing she’s not.
“Sure you are, Dan,” Renee says, and her tone makes the name sound sweeter than any pet name.
“Yeah, they’re Neil’s problem, not mine,” Dan replies, closing her eyes and relaxing further into Renee’s lap.
Let’s talk about mental illness in Killing Stalking
As someone who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, I’m pleasantly surprised by the depiction of the mental illness in Killing Stalking. (Although there is some debate about whether “borderline personality disorder” is meant to apply to Yoonbum or Sangwoo, I’m fully confident that Yoon is the one with the mental illness, something I’ll explore in this post.)
I’ve noticed that Yoon experiences many of the same symptoms I do, and (while I’ve never broken into someone’s house) I find a lot of his behaviors relatable. I believe his characterization to be very true to someone who struggles with borderline personality disorder, for the following reasons:
He acts impulsively.
BPD is often characterized by having trouble controlling one’s emotions, leading to impulsive actions and sometimes inappropriate emotional responses. We’ll go with the obvious: Yoon breaks into Sangwoo’s house after stalking him. Whether or not he planned it, it’s an action taken without much thought as to the consequences, and he acts completely on his emotions for Sangwoo.
He has a history of unstable relationships.
People with BPD tend to have trouble with relationships, particularly maintaining them. This is not because of a lack of emotional attachment; rather, (in my case) it’s because of overly strong attachments to others, sometimes swinging between feelings of intense love and extreme hatred. People with BPD can form very close bonds with other people and have a persistent fear of rejection or abandonment. Yoon is an interesting case, as he feels a deep attachment to Sangwoo despite the obvious abuse, and he even fears not being “good enough” for Sangwoo. These types of thoughts are at the root of my mental illness, and I resonate strongly with Yoon’s need to be “special” to Sangwoo. We also know that Yoon’s relationship with his uncle is…strained, at best, yet he decides in one moment that even that is better than living with Sangwoo.
It’s very typical of those struggling with BPD to self-harm, have suicidal tendencies, or engage in self-destructive behavior. Sangwoo points out Yoon’s self-harm scars and even taunts him for it, to which Yoon responds that he did it because he was “lonely.” This feeling is often the trigger for my self-harm episodes as well.
He has hallucinations/delusions.
In my experience, borderline personality disorder is sometimes confused with schizophrenia because of this symptom. (In fact, I was once misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and received the wrong kind of treatment for a time.) One difference between BPD and schizophrenia, for me, is that, while the images I see or the voices I hear are startling and sometimes terrifying, I can usually differentiate between “fantasy” and “reality.” People with BPD may, when under extreme stress, hear voices or have horrific hallucinations, like the body parts Yoon sees in Sangwoo’s washing machine.
This is all based on my experiences alone, but from what I’ve seen, Yoon is definitely a relatable case, and I’m actually really happy for the representation in Yoon. I’ll be looking forward to future chapters to see if there are any instances in which Yoon dissociates or if we get more history on his previous relationships. Overall, 10/10 character representation.