i have clearly thought way too much about this

A Way to You Again: Part 2

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Mild Violence, Language

Word Count: 1570

Part One

Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.

Author’s Notes: 500 follower celebration! Thanks to the lovely @melconnor2007 for requesting it! I hope you enjoy it. Sorry it’s coming out in multiple parts – I seriously can’t write anything short! 

Tags are at the bottom. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged/removed.

Originally posted by spiderliliez

Originally posted by natpekis

Originally posted by themarvelnerd

I woke up the following morning and stretched lazily. When my fingers didn’t find Bucky’s body beside mine I peaked through my lashes – a sudden surge of disappointment running through my body. I spied a note on the nightstand and stretched my arm out to grab it. It was written in Bucky’s hand – and hastily. “Y/N – Have a mission with Steve and Sam. Will take a few days at least. Didn’t want to wake you – B” I laid back down with a huff. I wished he had woken me up, but it didn’t matter now.

I rolled out of bed and headed to the shower where I quickly rinsed off. As I pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt I wondered to myself if Nat would be up for a workout this early in the morning. I decided that it was worth a shot and made my way out of my room and down the hallway as I pulled my wet hair into a messy bun. Once I reached Nat’s door I knocked and waited for an answer. When she opened the door she seemed surprised – I was obviously not the person she was expecting which seemed odd since we were close friends. “I was wondering if you wanted to go to the gym with me?” I asked casually. For some reason her reaction was really rubbing me the wrong way.

“Um… yeah… sure. Let me just grab my things really quick,” she had a hard time faking her enthusiasm as she answered but quickly grabbed her things and followed me down the hallway to the elevator. I sighed to myself internally – I was already regretting asking her to come with me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was wrong with our interactions, but they made me feel uneasy.

We entered the gym and headed towards the mat. Nat and I were about neck-in-neck on our hand-to-hand combat and only ever trained with each other because of it. As we started sparring she broke from me and danced around the mat. “So you and Barnes?” She tried to ask it casually, but I could immediately tell it was forced.

I sighed heavily. “Listen Nat, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it. We agreed to not tell anyone – Steve didn’t even know. We wanted to test it out, before… well you know…” I shrugged awkwardly. This was definitely not what I had in mind when I had asked her to come with me.

We lapsed into silence as we continued our sparring. I noticed that Nat wasn’t pulling her punches like usual. “How long have you?” She asked – cocking an eyebrow is question.

“How long have we what? Been whatever we are or been sleeping with each other?” I asked as I placed my hands on my hips. I was getting more than annoyed with her sudden interrogation with each passing second. “We’ve been spending time together for the last five months. We slept together for the first time last night,” I answered bluntly.

“Interesting,” she responded before jumping out of the way of one of my kicks and returning a roundhouse kick that connected squarely with my stomach – knocking the air from my lungs.

“What the fuck, Nat?” I asked angrily as I remained bent over – trying to catch my breath.

“I guess I’m just surprised is all – seeing as we were supposed to be friends,” she added angrily as she placed her hands on her hips and glared at me.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” I shouted. I had finally caught my breath and I was angry as hell at the way she was acting.

“You know… I mean I never told you that Bucky and I had a thing, but I assumed when he told you that you wouldn’t have pursued it any further without talking to me. I guess I thought too much of you.” I was completely caught off guard. I had never known about them. Nat must have read my reaction pretty clearly. “Ah,” she smirked. “It’s because he didn’t tell you. Let me guess – you both agreed you weren’t going to tell anyone because you didn’t want to mess up the group dynamic so you kept it a secret, and he never really indicated when you would actually tell any of us? He’d wait until we were all asleep before sneaking into your room, and he’d leave before any of us woke up? Sound familiar?” she asked angrily. I had never seen this side of her before – she was being cruel and she was enjoying it. When I didn’t answer she smirked to herself again. “I wondered why he had stopped visiting me late at night…. Now that I think about it… it stopped about five months ago. He would never explain himself when I asked… I guess it makes perfect sense now. I’m sure he regretted not being able to have sex for five months though.”

She had finally gone too far. Her initial comments had thrown me off balance, but now her hostility and cruelty had caused something to snap inside of me. I had always been the calm, and silent one – never to raise her voice in a time of stress. I think that is what caused her look of surprise when my fist connected squarely with her nose causing a sickening crack which signaled the gushing of blood from it.

“Fuck you,” I mumbled as I turned on my heel and stormed to the elevator.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, but I knew for certain that I needed to get the fuck out of the tower…. And it needed to happen as soon as possible.


I wiped the tears from my face as I hastily packed my bags. Why hadn’t he told me? Probably because he knew I would wonder if the same thing that happened to Nat would happen to me. Or was he still seeing her when he started pursuing me? My heart sank at the thought. I had been so happy last night – so relieved that the truth was finally in the open and we didn’t have to hide it. In reality, Bucky and I had never said that we were in a relationship… It had just been implied to me. “You fucking idiot,” I muttered to myself. Why had I thought that this would work? I was just the shiny new girl on the team – eventually he would get bored with me and find someone new or go back to Nat – I couldn’t compete with her in a million years. I felt sick to my stomach. I had realized I was falling in love with Bucky months ago, but I didn’t really admit it to myself openly until last night when I thought it had been safe to do so. I grabbed my bags angrily from my bed, and left my room – slamming the door behind me.

As the elevator opened to the parking garage I knew exactly where I was going. My parents had had a small cottage on the edge of a tiny coastal town in Maine. They had left it to me when they had died. For years before I had joined the Avengers I had found solace in my visits there. It would put distance between Bucky, and I – giving me time to think. No one in the group really knew about it so I wouldn’t have to worry about someone from the team knocking at my door. As I pulled out of the parking garage and onto the busy New York streets I was desperate to get as many miles as I could between me and the people I thought were my new family.


My phone buzzed in the passenger seat as I drove out of New York City. I picked it up hastily to see “STARK” illuminating the screen. My immediate impulse was to ignore it – I really didn’t want to talk to anyone, but I knew if I didn’t answer Tony would be persistent in tracking me down and showing up unannounced and unwelcome. It was the Stark way. I slid my finger across the screen and held the phone to my ear.

“What Stark?” I tried to ask it casually, but it came out too forced. It was obvious that I was upset. I had never been great at hiding my emotions when I actually managed to get angry.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked casually.

“Driving,” I answered curtly.

“Where ya going?”

“Tony… I just need a few days to myself. I promise I will keep a low profile and stay out of trouble,” I felt like a kid trying to plead with my parents again. Part of me was annoyed, but part of me was relieved that someone cared enough to ask.

Tony let out an exasperated sigh on the other end. “Fine… Fine… just let me know if you need anything kid. We’ll see you in a few days,” he replied before hanging up.

I sighed completely relieved. It would buy me some time to be away without the constant barrage of Tony Stark’s questions. It left one last phone conversation to have before turning off my phone. I dialed the number and waited patiently until I heard the familiar voice.

“I need you – can you meet me at the cottage?” I asked nervously.


Tags:

@bless-my-demons @lillian-paige @pleasefixthepain @nikkitia7 @kittthekat @ailynalonso15 @themistsofmyavalon @coffeeismylife28 @melconnor2007 @harleyqueen7 @sebbys-girl @marvel-lucy @lbouvet @totallygroovyllama @stickthinbarbie @avengers-bucky-fanfic @buckybarnesbestbabe @irepeldirt @glitterintheairblog @mizzzpink @barnesandnoble13 @themercurialmadhatter @bringmetheemobands @theloveablesociopath @selfdestructivefangirl @bellenuit45

booty call pt. 2 (m) // park jimin

Characters: Jimin x Reader ft. Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon

Genre: fuck buddies!au ; friends with benefits

Word Count: 3, 026 words

part 1

Mature Content. [daddy kink ; spanking ; dom!jimin]

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So, part of me always wondered why Mic didn’t ask All Might to be his co-moderator (I don’t know, I just picture them being the loudest, funniest pair of moderators ever) before I remembered that Toshinori had no chance to do that job because of his time limit. The Sports Festival clearly lasted longer than an hour, and All Might would never have been able to keep his quirk up for that long.

And then I thought – what if Toshinori really would have liked to be the moderator, cheering for his students loudly? The way it is, he could only sit it in the audience, trying to draw not too much attention while he cheers at least a bit.

I mean, imagine that – Mic being all enthusiastic about it, goes over to Toshinori, clapping his shoulder while asking him if he would do him the honor of being his co-moderator for the day.

Toshinori brightens, really liking that thought, before he remembers about his limits. It’s obvious in the way he deflates, smile falling and eyes vanishing in the shadows as he declines with a half-laugh. He would have really liked to, to cheer for his students, he assures as he declines, but he really can’t sadly.

Perhaps Mic notices how disappointed the other is. Perhaps he just wants to annoy his good friend. All in all, Mic quickly recovers from the rejection and is all like, “Then the other teacher will have to do some cheering – Shouta, come on, join me!”

And Aizawa answers flatly, “No.”

“Aww, come on, it’s gonna be fun!”

“No, Mic, I’m still injured – Mic! Let go of me!”

And Toshinori is left behind, still a bit disappointed but already smiling again as Aizawa gets dragged off by Mic who chatters animatedly about how much fun this is going to be and that Shouta won’t have to do much, don’t worry… 

I just really want to know how Mic managed to drag Aizawa with him, alright.

How I would have wrapped up season 6

Alright, everybody bust out those imaginations because I’m about to share how I would have handled things, if I’d been given the reins…

Okay, so in my version, the final battle is set to go down before the wedding, so everyone is still in Storybrooke, and there’s no Black Fairy Curse to contend with, meaning no side-story with everyone in the slowly-crumbling-Enchanted-Forest, the Black Fairy isn’t the Mayor, Emma’s not in a psych ward, there’s no book-burning, etc….

So, when and where are we?
Storybrooke, “Final Battle” Time, Emma vs. the Black Fairy & Gideon.
Well, this go-around, Rumpel is tempted by his inner-Dark-One to just let the Black Fairy’s last command (to kill Emma) stay in Gideon’s heart, and let him kill Emma. He fights against his temptation, and kills the Black Fairy in attempt to break her command on Gideon, but it doesn’t break it, it just makes the Black Fairy dead. (Haha.) This being the case, Rumpel and Belle kidnap Gideon and tie him up in the shop, hoping to be able to keep him from his fate through sheer restraint. Gideon says it won’t work, he’ll find a way, because it must be so, as fate wills it. In sorrow, Rumpel and Belle grieve over Gideon’s dark fate being sealed, no matter what they do, and profess their love to him. Both embrace him, and Belle kisses his forehead. *BOOM* True Love’s Kiss breaks the Black Fairy’s command that’s tied to Gideon’s heart, so he no longer has to kill Emma. There doesn’t have to be a Final Battle.

In an crisis of conscience, Rumpel laments all the bad he has done, and how he almost gave in to temptation. Belle tells him he did the right thing, for himself, and for his family, and they kiss.
*BOOM* True Love’s Kiss turns Gideon back into their pure infant son, and Rumpel lets go, finally allowing the power of True Love to break his dark curse. He is no longer The Dark One.
Belle’s wedding ring appears on her finger in one last touch of magic/destiny, and she and Rumpel kiss, embracing their unity as a family.

The Captain Swan wedding is not a musical–not hating on musicals at all, because I freaking LOVE musicals, and actually really enjoyed the songs in that episode. I just didn’t feel it fit the formality of the occasion, or match the epicness that is Captain Swan.
The wedding is also no longer spurred by urgency (to get married and live what time they have left before the curse hits) as much as it is about Emma and Killian wanting to and getting to start a new life together. Emma’s wedding dress doesn’t look like it did in the show–a (never stated in show) nod to Grace of Monaco. Instead, it is a long, silver-white silk sheath dress, modern and elegant–very Emma–with touches of sparkle and lace befitting a fairytale princess. Her hair is half-pinned up, gently curled akin to season 1. A long veil trails to the ground behind her. Killian is attired in a dark tux with tails.

Their wedding takes place on top of the library, much like it did in the show, along with the same gorgeous vows, but when they kiss, *BOOM* Captain Swan finally gets their True Love’s Kiss.

It is a truly epic kiss, and the rainbow-light explodes, bursting across Storybrooke. In its wake, the whole town cracks, peels, and melts away (think the intro to The 10th Kingdom, guys), and suddenly, they’re no longer atop the library and Clock Tower–EVERYONE FROM STORYBROOKE IS BACK IN THE ENCHANTED FOREST. Emma and Killian pull back out of their kiss to find they are standing in the Charming’s palace, in the gazebo where her parents were wed so many years ago, and the entire kingdom surrounds them–Henry, Snow & Charming, the Dwarves, Rumpel, Belle, Gideon, Granny, Ruby & Dorothy, Aurora & Phillip, Ella & Thomas, Ariel & Eric…Wilby!!!…Aladdin & Jasmine are in Agrabah, so they’re not there, but the point is, pretty much everyone we’ve ever seen in the series is there (metaphorically speaking–to reunite everyone would be pretty impossible). Cut to shots in the crowd, cameos of actors who were available to step back into their roles for this special occasion…You get it.

After the wedding, Regina meets up with the Evil Queen, and they reunite, both accepting they’re not whole without each other. With Regina finally embracing both sides of herself, they become one person again.

The Merry Men are there, Mulan among them, and Roland runs to Regina.
When she hugs her would-be-step-son, he kisses her cheek, and *BOOM* Wish!Robin appears. He and Regina embrace and he, sensing his True Love in her, on a whim, kisses her. *BOOM* Much like Graham was awoken to his memories in Season 1 when Emma kissed him, Wish!Robin gets all of real!Robin’s memories, feelings, and love for Regina and his son. He essentially absorbs all that his former-self was, all that was “obliterated” by Hades. Regina gets her happy ending, and Roland gets his father back and a family again.

We get shots of the other realms, as happened in the show, but we get more in-depth looks–Merida with her brothers in DunBroch, Anna, Kristoff & Elsa in Arendelle, etc. There is balance between Light Magic and Dark Magic. The kingdom is at peace. And the happy beginning finally begins…

Aaaand Season 7 could still happen, with Henry, Lucy, and the mystery of how their problems began, essentially answering how Henry got back to the Enchanted Forest in the first place. I’m actually interested to see how the show does explain it.

But yeah, that’s generally what I would have done…Clearly, I’ve thought about this way too much!

The definition of home (1/2)

AN: Like I said - part one (and the smaller part) of this two-shot for Mari’s birthday. Probably going to finish this tomorrow.
Also, no beta - there might be some mistakes.

Pairing: KanaMari (Were you really expecting anything else?)


„Mari.“

Mari wakes up to someone gently calling her name and poking her cheek. But she isn’t ready to leave dreamland just yet, so Mari turns around, dragging the sheets with her to hide under them.

“Come on, Mari.” The person giggles. Mari feels a tug on her blanket. Gripping it tight, Mari tries to fight off the attack. But once her ‘opponent’ decides to play unfair by tickling her, she has no chance of winning.

“No! St- Stop it!” She rolls over onto her back to escape. The second she feels the mattress dip though, she knows that that strategy is bound to be a failure. “Kanan!”

The tickling stops and two strong hands wrap around her wrists, effectively pinning her down and holding her in place.

“Kanan, please!”

Mari is still laughing but stops when a pair of lips touch hers ever so gently. But as sudden as the kiss happened it ends again.

Opening her eyes, Mari is met with the most beautiful purple eyes she can imagine, looking down at her with so much love that she thinks she might still be dreaming. The shy smile that accompanies them makes the picture even more perfect and for a second Mari forgets how to breathe.

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Emotional (D.L.)

I didn’t even know what time it was when we decided we’d go inside and make ourselves comfortable to go to sleep. This house party at Dereks place had been going on for hours, and let’s just say, we were pretty wasted. I wasn’t drunk to the point where I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was drunk enough to be talkative and fun and just giggly. 

When we, and by we I mean Derek, KDL, Tyler and his girlfriend, reached the living room, the couple immediately took the couch and made themselves at home, clearly ready to call it a day. Me on the other hand, I wasn’t really in the mood for sleeping yet. We were having so much fun and I just didn’t want the night to end too soon. I just kind of got to know them all, over Derek, I may add. Derek, who I have been seeing and talking to for about two weeks. By seeing I mean that we only had one sort of date yet; we went to Venice spontaneously and got food afterwards. You could say we were intrigued with each other, we talked and texted a lot and it was obvious that we had some sort of connection. 

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Ease My Mind - Part 5

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes is your best friend and, of course, you’re in love with him. But apparently Bucky is just fine with your platonic relationship - you’re going to have to do something about that.

A/N: so….. plot twist?? aha let me know what you think when you get to the end. also i think i might have fixed my tagging issue but im not sure, let me know if your tag doesn’t work/also if you want to be tagged!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Most of the team is out on a mission - a mission you could be on if Bucky hadn’t decided to stick his giant foot into something that doesn’t concern him. That thought produces another vicious punch to the punching bag, and you shift around to the other side in order to give it a swift high-kick to it’s make believe guts. The impact jars all the way up your body, twinging your scarred over bullet wound, but you ignore it completely.

Nat, Clint, and Bucky are still in the Compound somewhere. You hadn’t seem them all day. While they took being left off a mission as a day to relax, you had secluded yourself in the gym to train. If Bucky was going to be an A Grade Shithead and Steve was going to believe him, then you just had to prove that you were fit and healthy enough to be taking down entire cities all by yourself. It hurt, but it would be worth it.

You launched yourself at the punching bag, wrapping your legs around it and swinging yourself around and up until you’re face to face with the chains attaching the bag to the ceiling. You pull a throwing knife from your utility belt and bring it down repeatedly to the top of the punching bag, until stuffing starts to fly out everywhere and the fabric holding you up begins to sag.

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anonymous asked:

Would you like to elaborate the "robert was off in the bath scene". I love to see other peoples perspectives

Oh, nonnie, I am not sure, I haven’t watched the scene again, so this is just from one time screening.

First of all the “Tell me you still love me” line felt way off for Robert. In my opinion he wouldn’t ask that of Aaron in that situation. He was coming on a bit too strong for me, I think, basically begging Aaron to reaffirm what he said yesterday, when clearly the situation is much different now. I think it would have been more in character for him, and especially after yesterday, to let Aaron breathe a bit, give him time, maybe ask him gently if they could talk about this.

Yeah, just my rumbling thoughts right now…

2

“H…how can I be here? With all of you?”

“You really thought you’d go to Hell?” Mike laughed. A beat. 

Erwin looked slowly at each one of them.

“I’m sorry. Please, forgive –”

Nanaba shushed him before he could finish. “There’s no need for that. We all did what we had to do.”

“I…” He saw each of them, smiling — no hate in their eyes. Was this possible? 

“…thank you.”

For the first time for as long as he could remember, Erwin felt…he could be human again. He wasn’t tired anymore. Of being the demon. He’d heard that word several times, and knew inevitably it was in reference to him, but he wasn’t sure where.

But yet…there was unfinished business. Wasn’t there?

Moblit approached him, apprehensive.

“Those two…?” He couldn’t say their names. He was too scared to know.

Erwin slowly looked over his shoulder, but saw nothing.

“They’ll have to hold on a bit longer.”

(AHA CLEARLY I’M NOT OVER THIS I’M SO SORRY…this is the only way I can imagine Erwin has his peace. I had a bunch of ideas about Farlan, Isabel, Kuchel, and his father (who may or may not still be alive, but that’s another can of worms) but I thought maybe that was a bit too much. Old friends welcoming Erwin home comforts my shattered heart. ❤️)

Dear fellow K-pop Fans,..

Read this first and keep that in the back of your mind please: When I started to wirte this I was kinda pissed. And I still am but this is important and we all (myself included) should think about this. Yes. I know not everyone is like that but sadly a huge amount of people is. I don’t mean to hurt anyones feelings or to be mean. I’m just simply saying what goes through my mind. See this as an unpopular opinion if you want to.  (Ignore mistakes.)

Y’all can bitch around as much as you like to but this is soemthing that has to be said. And some said it already.

I’m an army myself, and a carat, starlight etc. So I know things about other fandoms too. BUT things keep happening and I’m almost ashamed to say that I’m an army. No don’t get me wrong but come one.

Those Hastags with #cutfor… are hella stupid. Not just because you cut your own body for some Idol (yea I know a couple of them just take pictures from the internet and edit them) but also because it’s just stupid. Think about it, What happens when you start cutting? What will change? Let me tell you: Nothing. The boys get so many tweets and messages, they won’t see the ones with the cutting, because even if this is the internet, they will be reported. 

I have so many things to say, things that I bottled up over months and months. You guys have to now that even if I have a reactions blog, I’m not the biggest fangirl in the world. I know that especially younger fangirls tent to forget that Idols are just human too. 

Let’s look back to the day when Jungkook was MCing. After that day I read tweets like “Jungkook oppa, you hurt my feelings.” “Jungkook oppa I feel betrayed.” “Jungkook oppa you can’t cheat on *insert ship name*” “Junkook oppa is flirting with her.” Really now? He was just MCing. Let me remind you, He was just doing his job. Please think about it. I have to be honest I was doing nothing but cringing all the time because he clearly didn’t feel comfortable. And I really thought that people thought the same way like I did. But no. They were complaining about him being next to a female MC?? Bro that’s too much. 

Same with Jimin. People were using the same hashtag for him because they saw pictures with him and his old girlfriend? Or they saw pictures of random couples and thought that the boy was Jimin. Listen. First of all, they had lives before they debuted. So yes, they probably had girlfriends, Rapmon even talked about it on a show. Secondly, they are human, they can date whoever and whenever they want to. They will surely fall in love and date at some point off their lives. And the news of them dating shoulnd’t be shocking anyone. 

(Let’s think about EXO’s Kai and Krystal. I saw hate/Anti-Kaistal pages, they edited Krystals Pics, bashed about Kai and so on. Some had those cutting pictures up) When I see things like that I don’t now if I should be mad, or concerned about someones health. Cutting is dangerous guys, and it’s a really serious topic, don’t make a joke out of it. 

You call yourselves fans but, I’ve seene Fans hating on Members of their groups. I’ve seen armys who said things like “Namjoon is too ugly for Bts.” “Jin has no talent at all.” “Suga is too lazy, and has nothing to do with BTS” “Jhope is ugly, he’s just a good dancer.” BTS is not the same without them come on. BTS woulnd’t be like that without them, And if you call yourself ugly, you should appreciate every member individually. The hashtag for Kookie had thousands of tweets, but the Jin one barely reached 200. Same goes for Starlights. “N is too dark he doesn’t look good.” “Leo is so quite and aggressive” “Ravi can’t rap.”  Or seventeen. The thing with Wonwoo. Yes he was hating but  ???? “Oppa how can you.” “Oppa I lost my respect for you.” HE WAS TEN FFS. And he apologized, but there were still people who hated on him. He was down for days, I never saw him that sad during that one year.

Look I’m not saying that you should accept every single mistake they make. But doing a Job (MCing) shoulnd’t be a Problem for anyone. And mistakes they made in the past… Well that’s different. It depends on their Age and what they said. No one can tell me that they didn’t hate on bands and singers as 10 or 13 year olds. I still see lots of hate agains Bands and singers (JB, Ariana Grande, Miley etc. the language doesen’t really matter.) Everyone hated at some point. But we only have one difference to them, and that’s also the reason why no one bashes us. 

We are not Idols. That’s why I’m saying it again. Yea, please treat them with respect, but don’t treat like they are Kings and Queens or smth. 

Don’t harm yourself because of them. Yes they are Idols, yes you can have feelings for them. But they also have feelings. Do you really think that Kookie or Jimin are going to be happy when they see those cutting pictures? And the tags? 

I could say “Actions cause reactions” But that’s exactly what some people want.Yes they cause reactions, but I’ve never seen a positive reactions or things like that. Please think before you do anything. Think about your actions. Thank you. 

Yours Sincerely,

            -  A Kpop fan, who thinks that a part of the fandom is out of control


(No I don’t talk about everyone here. Not all fans are like that. I know. But still. Too many things could happen. And it’s not fun to watch anymore.) 

I just came to a realization that makes me more satisfied with how Harry named his children

He named them after the people in his life whose deaths he witnessed and could not save them. People might argue that Remus, Tonks, or Fred or another person that had died could be a name, but those three already have legacies to be carried out through Teddy and through George. People also argue that Harry could’ve named them after other important people in his life, but here’s the thing, they aren’t dead and Harry doesn’t carry that guilt on his shoulders. Those people can carry their own legacies, and Harry can still see their faces and talk to them.

Harry probably felt a duty to carry on the too short lives of Lily and James. Harry watched Sirius die right in front of him and believes it’s his fault, that he could’ve saved him. Dumbledore was killed and fell off of a tower while Harry was literally unable to move or help in any way, so he couldn’t save another person that did not deserve to die. And Severus. Well, I understand how people feel about him, and I feel the same way. But, I don’t believe he deserved to die, and Harry clearly thought so too. Snape was another person that died in front of Harry’s very eyes that he failed to save.

None of these people had children (excluding Harry’s parents, but that’s why he named his kids after them). Sirius’s closest only living family is Harry also. Dumbledore and Snape died while Harry failed to save them and they also didn’t have children or much in the way of a family. Harry wanted to make sure these people were remembered, especially since he feels responsible that they no longer live.

Part of me believes that Harry was oversimplifying, when he told Albus Severus that he was named after the bravest men he knew, for his young child’s sake.

Maybe Harry meant that these people gave everything at the end of their lives for the hope that maybe their deaths could mean at least one person would be saved. They all gave their lives for at least someone which all happened to include Harry. So, Harry wanted to make sure that sacrifice was for more lives than his own. Harry could give them a legacy and a namesake to continue a life that was cut too short in a world that has more hope.

For Luna: personally, I don’t think there were anymore women that sacrificed themselves that Harry directly could’ve saved and that didn’t have other people to take up their legacy.

(Edit: Luna is Ginny’s best friend and one of Harry’s too. So it makes sense to me that she would be included)

gayknvckles  asked:

Yo! Is it cool if I suggest RinRei and "Can we pretend I didn't just say that?"?! I really love your drabbles, especially your RinRei ones!!! They always put a smile on my face!!! (And I never get enough from this pairing OTL) Thank you for being awesome and writing lovely stuff!!! Sorry for the bother ;A;

(You’re not a bother! I LOVE writing from prompts! ☆*・゜゚・*\(^O^)/*・゜゚・*☆)

Oh my god, oh my GOD, OH MY GOD.

Rin can’t believe he just said that. He can’t believe it. He blames it on the sake they’ve been drinking (and he really doesn’t want to think about how the heck Haru, of all people, got his hands on it), but man, drunk or not, Rin really shouldn’t have said that!

It’s way too soon for a real, honest-to-god confession of love! Even if it’s really how he feels, even if it’s something he’s thought about saying plenty of times, it’s way too soon! He and Rei have only been dating for a couple of weeks, and they’re not exactly alone at the moment—sure, they’re in Haru’s kitchen and the others are in the living room, but…

“…can we…pretend I didn’t just say that?” he manages, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously, his eyes glued to the floor.

“Why?”

His eyes shoot up to meet Rei’s. It’s true that Rei hasn’t had as much to drink as Rin. Maybe he’s thinking more clearly than Rin is at the moment. Or maybe Rin didn’t actually say what he thinks he said.

“…well…it’s a little soon, isn’t it?” Rin asks, swallowing thickly. He suddenly wishes he was either much drunker or far more sober. “Besides, I’m drunk. I don’t really know what I’m saying half the time.”

“My understanding is that alcohol lowers one’s inhibitions, thus making one more honest,” Rei says, adjusting his glasses—or attempting to. He manages to smudge the right lens with his fingers, indicating that he is, in fact, inebriated as well. “That would indicate that you do know what you’re saying and are likely more inclined to admit your true feelings because you’re less likely to censor yourself.”

"Oh, my god, could you be less of a dork right now?” Rin mutters. “Getting drunk is supposed to loosen you up, not make you even more pretentious! I can’t believe I even told you I’m in love with you!”

Rin claps a hand over his mouth. He just said it again! What is wrong with him?! He knows it’s because his inhibitions are lowered, and because he’s not thinking before he speaks; he knows Rei’s right about all of that. But god, does he have to keep making an idiot of himself?

"You’ve said it twice, now,” Rei says, a stupid grin plastered on his face. “You must mean it, right?”

The last shot of sake Rei drank must have sent him over the edge, Rin realizes, because a moment later tears are rolling down Rei’s cheeks while he’s smiling that stupid smile. He practically collapses into Rin’s arms sobbing and blubbering about how happy he is and how he was hoping Rin would say something like that soon, but of course his words are slurred and he’s only half making sense at this point.

Rin half-drags Rei back out to the living room, where all the others are seated around the table, and sits down with Rei leaning on him and clinging to him. It amazes Rin a bit how Rei went from dorkily logical and pretentious to complete, emotional, blubbering idiot in seconds flat. It seems to amaze the others, too, because they’re staring at the two of them.

“Is Rei-chan okay?” Nagisa asks, genuinely worried but also grinning for some reason.

“I-I’m so happy, Nagisa-kun!” Rei says, sitting up a bit and smiling wider than Rin is sure he’s ever seen him smile. “Rin said—”

Rin covers his mouth quickly. Heck, none of the others need to know what he said! He’s embarrassed enough about saying it to Rei!

“C’mon, Rin, just let him talk,” Makoto urges him. “He’s adorable like this.”

“You guys got him this drunk on purpose, didn’t you?” Rin grumbles, eyeing his childhood friends warily.

Even Haru is smiling at this point, which tells him that, yes, they got Rei this drunk on purpose. Sighing, Rin moves his hand away from Rei’s mouth and takes another shot of sake himself. He’ll need it in order to handle the embarrassment.

“Rin said he’s in love with me!” Rei exclaims, starting to cry again. “Isn’t that so nice? It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me!” He grins, and it looks so dorky with the river of tears crawling down his face. “You know what would be even better, though? If he told me I was beautiful!”

He looks at Rin expectantly. At the moment, he looks like an eager little puppy dog, and Rin isn’t sure if it’s adorable or just sad at this point.

“I’m not nearly drunk enough for that,” he mutters. “But I’m definitely drunk enough for this.”

He pulls Rei into a kiss. He doesn’t care that his childhood friends are there watching them. In his drunken state, all he cares about is himself, and Rei, and their lips pressed against each other.

He does his best not to think about the hangovers he knows they’ll both have in the morning.

anonymous asked:

GOM + Hanamiya + Himuro + Imayoshi reaction when their s/o goes to classes in clothes they (s/o) stole from them? I'm sorry if it's too much characters :)

Generation of Miracles

Akashi Seijurou: Akashi knew from the start that you’d taken his shirt, but when he saw you in it he felt it suited you much better than he expected. He would tell you that you looked lovely, and hand cupping your cheek as he brought your attention to him.

“Hopefully you’ll give me the honor of removing it later.”

Aomine Daiki: Aomine can’t help but feel a little excited at the sight of you, since it was his shirt that he couldn’t find last night after your escapades had ended. Seeing you in it causes all the memories of the previous night to come back, which only gets him fired up and ready to tear it off.

“You can keep it… But only if we can re-enact some of last night right now.”

Kise Ryouta: Kise would be thrilled to see you in his clothing, squeezing you and telling you ow you are, drawing as much attention to it as he could. He would tell everyone you were wearing his clothes proudly, with you getting embarrassed at the people assuming something sexual had been involved in getting his clothes. 

”(Name)cchi is wearing my clothes! It’s like we’re finally an official couple!”

Kuroko Tetsuya: Kuroko blushes pink initially but hides it well, complimenting you and saying it looks better on you than it does on him. He humbly requests that you give it back the next day, which in actuality was just an excuse to have his piece of clothing that now had your scent on it back.

“It looks better on you than me, you’re good at making anything look good, (Name)-chan.”

Midorima Shintarou: Midorima would be caught off guard, as he’d been wondering where that particular shirt had went. He gets you alone as soon as he can, asking you what you think you’re doing, embarrassed to see you in his clothes and worried about something recognizing they’re his. You tease him, telling him its your lucky item, which he calls you out on since he knows it’s not.

"It’s not your lucky item for the day- What do you mean how do I know? I just do!”

Murasakibara Atsushi: Murasakibara never really thought much about fashion or the way he dressed, and didn’t tend to keep track of all his clothes, so he didn’t notice his shirt went missing until he sees you in it. He knows it’s his from it’s clearly large size, getting embarrassed at how cute you look, thinking about he wants to get cute noises out of you now, too. 

”(Name)-chin… I have more clothes for you to wear.”

Others

Hanamiya Makoto: Hanamiya would have noticed his shirt gone immediately, unsurprised when you walk in wearing it, smirking to himself about how it was perfect because it marked you as being all his. You considered it more of a trophy proving you owned him since he clearly wasn’t objecting to you wearing it (until he corners you later, telling you it needed to go, showing that it had clearly frustrated him more than he originally let on). 

“I prefer you without clothes, but wearing mine is good, too, if I don’t have a choice in the matter.”

Himuro Tatsuya: Himuro would have given you the shirt to wear home when you requested it, as you had said it’s what boyfriends do for their significant others. He wouldn’t mind, seeing you in his clothes making his heart warm immediately; he would pull you close as he whispers that you look stunning, offering to give you more of his clothes if you wanted.

“Seeing you in my clothes makes me happy, if you ever want to borrow more… don’t be afraid to ask.”

Imayoshi Shoichi: Imayoshi would see you first in his attire when you run into gym, calling out to him and pointing out his shirt on you and asking if it looks good on you. He’s a little surprised at first but leans down and nuzzles your neck, calling you a tease and accusing you of trying to provoke inappropriate thoughts during practice. 

“You should know better than to tease me… but you’ll learn your lesson when we’re home.”

anonymous asked:

Knowing Cait's backstory whilst w former bf Dave M, do u think she would've felt uncomfortable w Sam being promoted w Cody or another wannabe starlet? Doesn't seem like either's style. But that was so early in their relash & the launching of the show. (I heard a recording of a woman alleging a verbal altercation between Cait & another woman at the 2014 event from which SC ended up leaving together.)

I have no idea if that Dave backstory is true so I don’t really wanna speculate too much but I’m of the belief that whatever Sam and Cody “had” was either set up by someone’s PR or it was Sam’s lame attempt at forgetting about Cait by hooking up with some random chick. I’d rather go with the first. I’m sure Cait wasn’t thrilled either way but it clearly wasn’t enough for them to not get back together. 

I fucking love that story. Even if it’s not true, I like to pretend it is because the thought of Cait getting into it with another woman over Sam and then winning makes me scream. That was this night supposedly ;)

Bleach characters, Renji’s hair is now buzzed! Your reactions?


As requested by anon. :)


Richiki: Whelp. Time to go buzz my head.


Ikkaku: Clearly this is my influence! 


Ikkaku: Renji is moving toward completely shaving his head in a totally voluntary and deliberate way, just like me!


Yumichika: Ikkaku, what have I said about protesting too much?


Ikkaku: I don’t know what you’re talking about. 


Byakuya: Renji…what is this?


Byakuya: Are you trying to cover up the evidence of a terrible hair cut?


Byakuya: You should have come to me first, before doing something so drastic.


Renji: No Captain! I just wanted to try this new look!


Byakuya: Renji…I thought you loved yourself. 


Kira: Two new haircuts, huh?


Kira: That’s you, Abarai. Always pushing the envelope.


Matsumoto: I barely recognize you, Renji!!


Matsumoto: I’ve never seen you with short hair!


Matsumoto: Your weird hairline is so much more obvious now.


Bazz-B: Oooh, do I detect the first step toward growing your own mohawk??


Renji: God no.


Bazz-B: You could sound a little less horrified, man!


Hisagi: But, Renji, without your hair long, how will you be dramatic?


Hisagi: You can’t have your hair hanging dramatically around your bloody face with a buzzed head!


Renji: Well I guess I’ll just stop losing then.


Hisagi: You can do that??


Ichigo: I guess you’re not the red pineapple anymore, Renji!


Ichigo: You’re more like a red kiwi….or maybe a red peach…


Ichigo: Hey! I guess now you’re a red peach and Rukia’s a white peach! You guys kinda match!


Renji: …


Ichigo: …


Ichigo: Dude did you shave your head for the sake of ship imagery?


Renji: What?? Ha ha no! That’d be ridiculous!


Ichigo: Then….why? Why did you buzz your head??


Rukia: OH MY GOD RENJI YOUR HEAD IS SO SOFT AND FUZZY NOW


Rukia: I JUST CAN’T STOP PETTING YOU


Rukia: SO FUZZY!!!!!! 


Ichigo: Oh I get it now.

Jesse was bleeding to death in his arms and there was nothing he could do about it.  Kix was braced against the wall of the medbay, trying to keep his husband as still as possible as the flagship fell apart around them.  He could feel the shrapnel slicing deeper into him with every shudder of the ship, but he was numb to it now, all his focus on trying desperately to stem the bleeding.  There was just so much kriffing blood, and it was too much, five liters of blood in the body, at least a liter covering him and the floor, fuck, why had Jesse come to see him?  He could have gotten away, he would be safe if-

“Cyare-”  Jesse’s voice was weak as he forced himself to speak through rapid breaths - too much blood lost, there was too much -  “Hey, look at me, alright?”   It was clearly an effort to speak, but he was fighting to make his voice heard.  “Gonna- gonna be alright.  Together, yeah?  We’re together.”  His hand was shaking and sticky as it finds Kix’s, and he could barely bring it to his lips, brushing a kiss to bloody knuckles.  “Not the worst way I thought about going.”

“You’re not gonna die, Jesse, not if I have anything to kriffing say about it, you hear me?”  Kix coughed, and pain seared through him from the metal embedded deep between his ribs.  He wasn’t sure what blood was his or Jesse’s anymore.  “Got too much to do, still got those kids we were talking about having.  Thought you were gonna open a diner.”  It was easier to focus on that than the way the ship was cracking apart around them, screams filtering through clouds of smoke, shouts and pleas of their brothers as they died and he couldn’t do a thing about it.  He couldn’t breathe, could barely think as he tried to stay awake for Jesse.

Jesse huffed a breathy laugh.  “Yeah, next to your clinic-”  He choked, and pink froth appeared on his lips as he struggled to catch the breath that wouldn’t come.

Tears streaked Kix’s cheeks, dripping down to make clean lines down Jesse’s face.  “Shh, shh, stay still, cyare, don’t try to talk, it’s okay, I know.  I know.  I’m here.  I’m right here.”  He clasped Jesse’s hand in both of his, pressing it to his trembling lips.  “I’ve got you, it’s okay.”  He knew he wasn’t far behind, he wasn’t as bad as Jesse, it wouldn’t be as fast, but whether it was that or the crashing ship, he would be with his husband soon.  Jesse’s eyes closed, and a choking sob ripped from his chest, blinding pain in its wake.  The last sight he recognized before he closed his eyes was white and gray armor and Sinker’s voice shouting for help.


Kix woke up in another medbay, this one whole and clean, sterile white surrounding him.  The soft beeping of his monitor was echoed by a second, and he ignored the dull pain in his chest as he pushed himself up to see Jesse lying in the bed next to him, his eyes still closed, skin unnaturally pale, but alive.  He slumped back on his own bed, reaching out to rest his hand on Jesse’s just before sleep claimed him again.  They were still together.

anonymous asked:

Bbrae graphic making out ?

Beast Boy stared up at his bedroom ceiling as he tried to recall the memory of what had happened the night before. He remember the smell of her hair, the way it felt against his cheek as they moved closer. He could still taste the rum and strawberries on her lips, and hear the soft moans she made when he touched her… er… breast. 

Groaning, he closed his eyes. Jeez, they were drunk

It was a stupid game played at a stupid party, that got wildly out of hand. Wildly. He sighed and threw a hand over his eyes, trying to think of anything but what happened last night. He tried to think of chores he had to do, or games he could play later, or errands to run, but each time he found something to focus on, his mind drifted back to Raven. She was far too interesting to ignore.

“I’m gonna lose my mind.”

“Yeah. You are.”

His eyes snapped open and he sat up, feeling the room spin a little too fast around his ears. He blushed and shook his head, staring at Raven as she stood in his doorway, cradling two mugs of coffee in her hands.

Keep reading

To No Set Gauge They Make Us, Chapter 1

fandom: gravity falls
characters: stanley pines, stanford pines, soos ramirez, mabel pines, dipper pines
words: 4420
chapter: 1/?

Ford comes back through the portal immediately after an encounter that left him in critical condition, and the entire family has to deal with the complicated consequences.

(AU branching off during the ending of NWHS)

[AO3 link]

because when i mentioned some of my unfinished drafts last night the response as to which one i should clean up was near-unanimous

it just. also got away from me

(warnings for blood and major character injury)

Keep reading

can’t you see I’m hurting?

marlee.

My fingers trailed over the delicate lace as my lips curled into a small smile of contentment. Shifting to the side, I eyed my body, appreciating the new angle. The black fabric was wrapped around my frame like a second skin, dancing over my curves sinfully. With my every move the fabric glided along with me. Everything was cinched, lifted and smoothed as it should’ve been, leaving me feeling sexier than ever.

Somewhere in between me exiting the shower and getting dressed I decided to play dress up. My lingerie collection was vast and wildly expensive. Victoria and her secrets were nowhere to be found in this chest. My collection was composed of Agent Provocateur, La Perla, Bordelle and Carine Gilson. I’d nearly lost my balance when I saw the $1300 price tag on an unworn robe from Kiki de Montparnasse. I mean, I’d seen bank statements with me and Larry’s combined income but dammit, that much for a robe?

I ran my hands over my thighs, snapping the garter belt with my thumb for kicks. The steel boned bralet was completely sheer leaving nothing unseen and it made my breasts look perkier than a preteen. My ass was left nearly bare thanks to the lacey cheeksters and a garter belt resting snuggly around my midsection was holding up a pair of delicate thigh highs. Needless to say I looked and felt incredible.

“How you like it daddy?” I sang, swaying in the large mirror. I paused, chuckling at my antics. I didn’t even know what song I was singing.

I turned, eyeing my ass. It was bigger than it was in recent photos of me and I wasn’t quite sure I was bothered by that. Along with my lingerie I’d found a huge amount of athletic gear, signifying that I worked out often. The thought of me working out made me cringe. It just didn’t seem like me. Hell, I hated walking up stairs but then again I had been jogging when the accident occurred. I made a mental note to ask Larry about it.

Running my fingers through my hair, I held it at the top of my head and posed. I couldn’t get over how good I looked. Majority of my clothes were casual and a bit tomboyish. I was a blatant tomboy which explained my affinity for Larry’s clothes. But this was the opposite of my wardrobe, I thought fingering the garter. This was sexy, delicate and seductive. It was the embodiment of feminine. This shit had me feeling like Dita Von Teese and I was left to wonder how often I wore these garments.

My sex life had to be thriving if I owned and wore garments like this around the house. There was no way any man could ignore how good I looked in these pieces. Hell, I looked so good that I was ready to strip out of this shit and give myself a happy ending.

I wasn’t sure when the last time I had sex was but what I was sure of was the fact that I was hornier than a teenage boy. My hormones as of lately were through the roof. I was like a ticking time bomb and boy was I ready to explode. Being around Larry didn’t make it any better. Everything about him turned me on. The sound of his voice, the way he smelled, the way he bit his lips, the way he danced… My God, the way that man danced! I’d nearly lost it when I saw him dancing in the studio the other day. His hips were lethal and moved with such fluidity that I couldn’t help but wonder if he carried those same movements to the bedroom. The way his brows furrowed when he moved had me clenching my thighs. The way he bit his lips had me hot. And the way sweat rained down his skin had my body going through its own type precipitation.

He had come home, as promised, and I found that I wanted him to go back to wherever the hell he’d been all those days. My body couldn’t handle the torture of having him around but not having him. The tension in the house was so thick and I was sure he felt it as much as I did. I avoided him as much as possible by locking myself in my room. However, I did have the unfortunate experience of running into him in the kitchen sans everything but his boxer briefs. I’d nearly died. He had been so nonchalant about it but there was no way in hell I could be chill when my eyes could clearly make out his print in the thin, gray Calvin Klein briefs. He was curved. And something about that seemed so damn familiar. I shook the thought away. It was entirely too much.

“Marlee!” His voice boomed through the bedroom, trickling into the closet. I froze, releasing my hair and as it rained over my shoulders and down my back he appeared in the doorway wearing a scowl. “I text you come do…” His words died on his lips as his eyes took me in.

“I…” I started but clamped my mouth shut. His stare was prohibiting me from forming a complete sentence. His eyes slid over my body in a way that made me sizzle all over. He made no attempts to hide his gaze as his eyes riveted on my nipples, which were clearly visible. My breath hitched when he tugged his lip into his mouth and dropped his eyes down to my ample thighs. Again they held, forcing my womb to shudder. His eyes were narrowed and dark, whispering his deepest thoughts. He wanted me. The realization had me ready to strip on the spot.

I swallowed and pulled air into my lungs as I took a unsteady step forward before freezing. My movement forced his eyes up to mine and I nearly fainted, seeing the raw lust. His tongue moved over his lips as his eyes dropped to my breasts yet again. I was tempted to turn around and give me a back view but frankly I was rendered immobile. I was paralyzed but not numb. I felt everything. His eyes were like little fingers of ecstasy stroking everywhere that caught his attention. I felt like I was on the brink of an orgasm and he hadn’t even so much as breathed on me. My body was purring, my nipples hard and my center throbbing.

My hand moved on his own accord, sweeping over my nipples and I gasped at the sensation. Pleasure flickered through my frame and I almost felt silly for reacting as I did to such a simple touch. My body was crying for attention and was willing to settle for any, including my own. I could hear Larry’s groan in the distance as I closed my eyes, repeating the motion. The sound he made was guttural and melded my bones to my flesh.

“Marlee,” His voice cracked and my eyes flung open. I stared at him wide eyed, noting that he was no longer looking at me but at his phone. Defeat trickled down my spine and I sighed, straightening my back. “I tell you be ready and then I text you say come downstairs. I wait 10 minutes.” He rasped, still avoiding looking at me.

“I, uh, I got distracted.” I murmured, unclipping the garter and sliding the sheers down my legs. I glanced back up to find his gaze riveted on my thighs but he quickly looked away once he’d been caught. “I didn’t know I had so many nice things.” I spoke, placing the thigh-highs on top of the chest I’d extracted them from.

“Yeah,” He cleared his throat. “You… like that stuff.” The garter was next and he watched through narrowed eyes as I unclasped and removed it, leaving me in the bralet and panties.

“Do you like it?” I quizzed, cocking my head to the side. His eyes met mine for a fleeting second and he nodded before going back to his phone. “I have good taste,” I smiled a small smile as I grabbed normal underwear from my drawer. I briefly contemplated wearing the lingerie underneath my clothes but then decided against it. “I mean, I buy nice stuff.”

“I bought it.” He spoke with a smirk that was every bit of smug. “Hurry up and get ready. I don’t want to be late.” And with that he was gone, leaving me to ponder his words. He’d bought it.

“Baby, I need it.” My voice had taken on a husky quality. The rasp weaved it’s way through my words, curling along syllables. 

“Marlee, we can’t… not now.” His hissed, cutting his dark eyes as me. I caught the tick of his jaw and the bob of his throat.

“Why?”

“Do you no see where we at?” I glanced around boredly. My eyes took in the many bodies in the crowd. Everyone was moving and full of energy. The beat was possessive and it was making everyone in this room it’s bitch. Everyone except me. I wasn’t captivated by the bass-line or the battle happening just feet away. I was enthralled by the man standing right beside me. The one who towered several inches above me. The one who wore all black and smelled like heaven on Earth. Larry had my attention and though Waydi was killing it, I couldn’t focus on him.

“So…” I shrugged and he kissed his teeth. 

“I give you what you want when we get home.” He promised. His eyes left the battle and he peered down at me. I saw the promise in his gaze but home was hours away. I needed him now.

Because he was smart and because he knew me well, he looked away, missing my scowl by mere milliseconds. “That’s too far away.” I countered, touching his waist. He shuddered away from my touch and blew out a breath of exasperation.

“Me and Lau battle in like twenty minutes, baby.”

“We only need ten.” I shrugged and he scoffed.

“I need all night. You just get home after be gone for a week.” He was leaning towards me, making it so that his words only reached my ears.

“And that’s why I need you now. You’re wasting time debating me.” I huffed, annoyed.

He chewed his lip, looking over the crowd before drawing his eyes back to the battle. My knees weakened as I realized he was contemplating. I rocked anxiously. From the outside many would think I was entranced by the sounds Nacim had so gloriously woven together but I wasn’t. Instead, I was moving to quell both my excitement and the throbbing that placed itself in my core.

“No.” He replied after several seconds and I kissed my teeth.

With chest quaking sigh, I moved away from him and headed over to where Lau, Reggie and Sgalo were standing. I knew Larry was watching me – he always was.

I half-way listened to what Reggie was saying as I stuffed my hands into the deep pockets of my – Larry's – grey Nike joggers, tugging them down just a bit. I then faced the boys, head on, giving the ongoing battle my back as I crouched down to ‘tie my shoes’. I felt the coolness from the room on the bare skin of my back as well as the gusts of wind the dancers prompted with the fast new style moves. But amongst the coolness I felt a heat. It blazed into my skin, trailed down my spine and danced with the small of my back.I smirked knowingly as I stood, stretching. I then pulled my small white t-shirt down over the candy apple red underwear I’d just exposed.

Something about wearing skimpy lingerie under comfortable, loose fitting clothes always made me feel sexy. And it always got Larry going. I’d just gotten the skimpy set I wore during my recent trip to Paris, sans my husband. I knew he would love it but waiting until after the battle and then the afterparty to show him wasn’t an option.

I was in the midst of an internal countdown when I felt him grip me from behind. My smile was triumphant but it quickly fell as Larry’s teeth sunk into my earlobe. “Why you play so much?” He quizzed, squeezing my hip. His fingertips dipped into the waistband of my pants and my hand instantly went over his, hiding his intentions. He didn’t go far, we were still in an auditorium full of people after all. 

I shuddered when his blunt fingertips stroked the delicate strap of the panties I wore. “Now you can’t talk?” He quizzed as his hand slid from my hip and up my waist. Hollering and whooping surrounded us but none of that mattered. “You still want it, baby?”

“You know I do,” I managed, catching sight of Lau going nuts right before my eyes fluttered shut.

“Come on.” He tugged my hand. “Back all that shit you talk up.”

-

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into driving to Albany to see napath.” Larry grumbled, thirty minutes into our drive.

“Naprapath,” I corrected with a small smile.

“Whatever,” He rolled his eyes and shifted so that his elbow was resting on the armrest. If possible his relaxed posture made him look even more irresistible. “Is still too far.”

“I’d go to Russia if that means I can have my memory back.” I told him candidly. I meant every word. The longer I went without my memory the more I felt like it would never completely come back.

“You hate Russia,” He muttered before turning the music up.

I watched him until he cut his eyes at me. For whatever reason he got annoyed when I stared. With a sigh I looked down at my phone. Larry had gone and got me a new phone since my old one had been damaged in the mugging. I wasted no time putting my iCloud to use and downloaded everything from my contacts to my apps to my purchased music. Sadly, looking at the contacts didn’t spark any memories. Even the text messages I read over didn’t give me much.

I noticed that I didn’t talk to too many people. Most of my contacts were business related. It was weird. Was I not nice or friendly? When I asked Larry he’d shrugged and claimed that I stayed to myself. I didn’t have siblings or close cousins or a bestfriend that I socialized with and that bothered me. I’d gone back and looked at wedding photos, refusing to believe that I had nobody. I’d had a maid of honor and that was pretty much it. Her face was familiar and something told me her name began with an ‘E’ but that was the most that I got. When I quizzed Larry about her he clammed up and quickly changed the subject. I made a note to ask again.

“I need to work.” I told him, growing tired of the music taking the place of our voices.

He looked over at me and his brows shot up before his face eventually relaxed. With a shrug he went back to the road. “Well, work.”

“How did I find work before?”

“Uh, people email you… you have website.”

I frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That I had a whole website! What if clients have been trying to contact me Larry?!” I was suddenly angry. All the days I’d spent mopping around could have been spent being productive – actually working.

“When would you work Marlee? In coma?” He sighed, clearly annoyed. “And stop yelling. I’m right here.”

“Well, if you would turn to damn music down so I can talk to you…”

He pressed the button built into the steering wheel, lowering the volume. “Happy?”

“Ecstatic.” I murmured. “Clearly, I’ve been out of the coma, Larry. I could have been doing something instead of moping all day.”

“Marlee, you don’t even know where your cameras are and you haven’t asked. I tell you that you do photographs and you never ask.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to. You’re so mean all the damn time. You should have just given me the camera out of the kindness of your cold ass heart.” He laughed. “What the fuck is funny?”

“You funny.” His laughter soon died on his lips and he glared at me. “You act like you know everything but you know nothing.”

“Well I do know that I would appreciate it if you would show me where my cameras are as soon as we arrive home.”

“Whatever.”

I eyed him in disbelief. He couldn’t just take a simple request and go with it? He couldn’t answer a simple ass question? He had to make everything difficult. “What’s your problem?”

“You my problem!” He sneered and I nearly gasped. But I wasn’t surprised. I was sure this man was bi-polar.

“Well, unfortunately for you I don’t know what I did to become your problem.” I could feel his glower burning through me without even looking his way.

“Well, just because you don’t know don’t make me forget,” He sneered. His words were cold and filled the entire car with ice. My body stung from the frost. “Or forgive.”

“What do you want me to do Larry?” I quizzed weakly. I was tired of fighting him. I was tired of being hated but not knowing why. It was exhausting. I blinked back the tears that wanted to appear and slid down in my seat, gazing out of the window. Maybe this long ride was a bad idea. I could have taken an Amtrak and done this alone, I thought.

“I just need you to remember. Fuck!” He roared and I jumped, reeling back in my seat.

“Yell at me one more time.” I hissed, pushing my hair out of my face.

“Or what?” He bit back viciously.

“I’m gonna knock your fucking head back.” I promised. My stare was menacing and his matched mine. The cold chill that once consumed my skin was now replaced by a raging fire.

A cold smile curved his lips upward but it didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes were still burning with rage. “You not crazy.”

“I don’t remember how crazy I am but I’m ready and willing to find out if you raise your voice at me again.”

The car was drenched in silence and remained that way until we arrived to our destination in Albany, 40 minutes early thanks to Larry’s lead foot. I sighed, watching him park as I mentally prepared myself for this. Larry thought it was silly to see a Naprapath but after hours of research I decided it was something I wanted to try. The suggestion had actually come from Laurent and I was grateful for his help since Larry’s bum ass didn’t seem to want to do anything. His only contribution thus far had been blaming me for forgetting and everything else under the sun.

I sighed, unbuckling my seatbelt and as usual Larry rushed around to my side, opening the door and helping me out of the car. I thanked him with a nod and straightened my black top as I took in the small structure.

Prêt?“ (Ready?) He quizzed.

Quais.” I muttered and took the first step towards the building.

The inside smelled of sage, causing Larry to wrinkle his nose as he recoiled. He hated heady scents. “What is that?” He winced and covered his nose as I’d silently predicted he would.

“It’s sage. They use it to cleanse and rid of negative energy.” I explained as we approached the counter.

Unlike a traditional doctor’s office that was cloaked in cool tones – grays, slates and purples – this office was warm and welcoming. The surfaces were sleek and wood, the seating was buttery soft leather, there were plants everywhere and jazz played lowly from the speakers.

“Fucking voodoo doctor.” He muttered as he casually rested his hand at my lower back. The receptionist beamed as we approached and I returned her smile with one of my own.

“Hi guys,” She chirped, revealing a southern accent. “Let me guess, you’re here for fertility? You two look like you’re ready for a little, bouncing bundle of joy.” She smiled.

I wouldn’t have paid much attention to her mistake had Larry not stiffened as though he’d been shot next to me. “Ouoi?” I quizzed, looking up at him.

His throat bobbed as he swallowed and he shook his head, not bothering to look at me. My brows threaded together in curiosity but before I could dig deeper his voice sounded. “She here for memory lost. Amnesia.” He told the receptionist in a tight voice.

“Oop,” The woman slapped her forehead, offering an apologetic gaze. “I’m hardly ever wrong. Well, if it’s any consolation you two would make a gorgeous baby.”

“It’s not.” Larry muttered and we both looked at him, shocked. His fingers were now curled tightly in my shirt. Lifting my hand behind my back, I pulled his down and laced my fingers with his. I was surprised when he didn’t snatch away. I looked up to find his eyes on me and sighed.

“You’re Marlee, right?” The receptionist spoke, her voice noticeably dimmed.

“Yes.”

“Okay, take this, fill it out and I’ll call you when Dr. Janice is ready. You’re bit early but we’ll see if we can get you on in there.”

“Perfect. Thank you.” I took the clipboard and headed to the seats. I didn’t miss the cautionary look she gave Larry as we walked away.

“What was that about?” I grilled when we were seated in the waiting area.

“What?” He quizzed, twirling his ring between his fingers.

Knowing he wasn’t going to say much I shook my head. “Nothing.” He looked almost relieved that I dropped the subject and I was eager to know why but I’d learned not to push him. When I pushed him he closed up more. “That your wedding ring?” I asked, eying the platinum band he’d been fiddling with. He instantly shoved the ring down on his finger and hid his hand from my view.

“I help you fill out your paper.” He muttered, taking the forgotten clipboard from my grasp. I didn’t put up a fight and watched as he started filling out the questions, not bothering to ask me for confirmation – not that I could give it to him. I watched as he filled in my name, DOB and social never pausing or stopping to think. He checked off a slew of boxes that listed health conditions. The fact that he knew me so well brought both joy and envy.

“The fuck…” He muttered, pausing as he read a question. His brows were knitted together and I instantly assumed he didn’t understand the English well.

“What?” I quizzed, reaching for the paper only to be dodged. “What?”

“This doctor weird. Why they ask question like that?” The confusion on his face would have been comical had I not been so eager to know exactly what the issue was. Finally I proved to be faster than him and gripped the clipboard, snatching it from his grasp. He kissed his teeth but did nothing to obtain it back.

“When was…” I paused and my eyes grew wide at the odd question. “When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?” I finished quietly. Why on Earth did they need to know that? “Well?” I spoke after several seconds of silence.

“Well, what?” Larry quizzed, looking down at me.

“When was the last time we had sex?”

“Just skip the question.” He muttered, chewing his inner lip.

“No. it could be important.”

“Is not.”

I shrugged. “Well, I just want to know.” I need to know exactly why I wanna jump your bones every time you blink, I finished silently.

“A long time ago.”

“When?”

“It’s be a while, Marlee.”

He was in first place when it came to most difficult person in the world. This was something I was sure of. It was his main goal to annoy me. It had to be. There was no other excuse for him to be this infuriating. “Okay, like 3, 4 months?”

“Longer.” He muttered.

“6 months?” I quizzed and he shook his head. “You’re going to make me keep guessing?”

He looked extremely uncomfortable as he fidgeted with his hands. His fingers then went to the ring – the same one that grasped my attention earlier. “10 months.” He whispered and I was sure I’d heard him wrong. I wanted to ask him to repeat it but I decided to withhold the torture. He seemed really bothered by that fact and to be honest I was bothered too. How was I able to be around this beautiful man without spreading them every five seconds?

“That’s a long time.” I murmured because I had nothing else to say.

“That’s what I say.” He was avoiding my gaze.

“Why?” I asked quietly as he took the clipboard from my grasp.

“Why what?” The question was absent, he was busy filling in the details about myself that were still fuzzy to me. I watched him, storing the facts into my blank slate of a memory.

“Why haven’t we had sex?’

Shocked followed by annoyance flashed in his eyes as he stared blankly at me. “Marlee, I tell you we not good.”

“So that means we can’t sex? I don’t seem like the type to do well without sex.” I unabashedly stated, my body was in turmoil each time I was near him. How had I gone ten whole months?

“You don’t.” He muttered, looking away from me and at the paper.

“I don’t… what?”

“You don’t like to go without sex Marlee, damn.” He was irritated now. It was all over his face but I didn’t care. This was a big issue for me. My body was in need and apparently it had been neglected for nearly a year.

“Well, why didn’t you give it to me?” My tone was innocent but the question was anything but.

Again shock crossed his features as he stared at me. “You,” He started, sighed, filled out a question and then looked back up at me. “You didn’t want it from me.” He shrugged nonchalantly but I saw the sorrow and frustration in his eyes.

“I didn’t want it from you?” I quizzed with a frown. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t want it from anyone if I didn’t want it from you, Larry.” I was no cheater – this I knew.  Silence was his reply but his eyes confirmed what I’d just said. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

I chewed my lip, not sure if I should ask the question. Yet, I felt like I needed to know, like it was my right to know. “When was the last time you had sex?”

“I tell you ten months ago.” He sighed. “Stop talking if you ask stuff like this.”

“Don’t tell me to stop talking.” I hissed and then looked over at the receptionist’s desk to insure that she was paying us no mind. “It was a simple question. You never come home – I don’t know what you do.” Even as I said the words carelessly I realized how devastated I would be to find out Larry was dividing his time with another woman.

“Why you worry for what I do, huh?” He hissed, clenching the clipboard. “Why you care? You tell me you don’t care and now suddenly you do?” I could nearly see the battle taking place in his eyes as I gawked blankly at him with no clue of how to respond. “Don’t worry for me.” He muttered, glared and then looked away.

I didn’t know what to say or how to feel about his words. He sounded so bitter, so angry. What had I said to him in the past to make him say those things? That I didn’t care? Had he really believed that? I wanted to explain to him that somethings were said out of spite or to get a reaction but the reality was, I had no clue why and when I’d said such a thing to him. I’m guessing it was during the ten months we weren’t sexing. “I can’t help it.”

“Yes you can.”

“No, I can’t Larry, I can’t. You think I want to be here while you treat me like shit every five minutes? No!” I sighed, schooling my features and lowering my voice. “I can’t help the way I feel.”

“You feel?” He chuckled coldly and leaned back in the chair, glaring at me. “You feel nothing. You don’t know me, remember? You don’t remember.”

“But that doesn’t change how I feel. My brain and my heart are two different organs, Larry.” I didn’t bother to hide my anguish. I needed him to see it. I needed him to know that he was hurting me.

His lips thinned as he pressed them together, staring off into the lobby. I watched as his eyes shifted back and forth. His fingers were busy doing a dance to contain his nerves or anger and his brows were weaved together. His eyes were a storm of emotions and I couldn’t even begin to try and decipher them. His chest heaved as he breathed and his jaw ticked, bouncing wildly under his soft skin. His body was rigid and the only things moving were his shifty eyes and quivering jaw. I wanted so badly to take the turmoil out of his life. I wanted to erase any and everything in the world that gave him ill thoughts but that meant I’d be erasing me.

“I remember what you say to me before. My memory still work – it’s good and vivid.” He rasped. I blinked, wondering where he was going with this. His voice was like gravel and his eyes like granite as he stared at me. “Nothing you say now matters because I remember.” He tapped his temple and I swallowed. “I remember everything.” My heart crumbled, dissolving further with his every word.

“Do you remember how much I loved you?” I quizzed lightly.

Relief fluttered in my belly when his features softened. “I remember you say you don’t no more.” He sighed. “That’s what I remember.”

“Larry…”

“Marlee Bourgeois.” I cringed at the sound of my name and offered Larry a final look before standing and heading to the back with him hot on my trail.

Not too long after, we were in the car. Speaking with the Naprapath hadn’t taken as long as I'd expected but she gave a ton of helpful tips. My sweaty palms clutched a list of ingredients along with instructions. Larry had sat in silence the entire time only chiming in when I couldn’t answer a certain question. When we were done the doctor pulled Larry to the side and they spoke quietly for a few minutes before we eventually made our exit.

Now we sat in the car in route to the city. The silence was deafening. I wanted to talk more about what he’d said earlier but I had a feeling I wouldn’t get far. I wanted to know what led up to me saying such a thing to him. It had to be a lie because I loved this man. Even without memories I felt my love for him. The way my body would heat up and heart would thump told me I loved him. The way he dictated my thoughts and even my dreams told me I loved him. The way my heart fluttered when I heard his name and my eyes lit up when I saw his face told me I loved him.

How could he ever think otherwise?

Because you told him otherwise, my mind screamed and I winced. I fingered the note in my hand, wondering if I’d ever be fully capable of remembering again. The doctors said I was coming along well but it didn’t feel that way. Each day I woke and realized I had been set to factory setting made me feel like a failure. I wished I could go back and rewind time. I wished I had never had my ass in Central Park. I wished I’d listened to Larry.

“We can shop for this stuff another day if you don’t feel like it.” My voice was quiet. I was sure he wanted to drop me off at our home and get far, far away from me. His jaw had been locked and pulsing for the past hour now and his hand was wrapped tightly around the steering wheel.

“It’s fine.” He muttered, not bothering to look my way.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, running my fingertips over my lips. Lau’s words rang in my head ‘you wanted the divorce’. It was repetitious and pure torture and now Larry was telling me that I told him that I didn’t love him anymore. The ache in my heart was powerful and growing with each passing second. I felt extremely low and guilty. Had I broken Larry? Was I the reason he hated me so? Was I the reason our marriage failed?

My chest heaved as the thoughts whirled around in my head. It was pure agony to be in such turmoil and not know why. Every day I was tormented with the facts of my life and every night I went to sleep with unanswered questions. It was hell.

I slammed my eyes shut, realizing that having Larry’s forgiveness was so much more important to me that having my memory. I felt so on edge around him. I was walking over miles of eggshells with no clue of when the road would end. I saw the distress and disgust in his eyes and it killed me. It killed me to know that I had more than likely caused it. His earlier words tormented me. How had I possibly uttered ‘I don’t love you’ to this man? How had I managed to hurt him in that way?

“I’m so sorry.” I whimpered, hating that I didn’t know why I was sorry. His eyes swung over to me as I sniffed. His alarmed expression was a blur through my tear glazed squint. He cursed lowly and looked back at the road as tears streamed down my cheeks.

“Fuck, Marlee,” He called, quickly switching lanes on the expressway. My chest tightened and my hands covered my face. As I shed tears for me, for him, for us.

Everything felt so wrong. My life as of now was a never ending nightmare. Each day I woke up I found myself wanting to go right back to sleep. Anything was better than facing my bleak reality. My memories came in small doses, sometimes in my dreams, most times when I wasn’t even trying. But they were insignificant. They meant nothing. They didn’t explain why my husband couldn’t even look at me.

“Marlee,” He called again, softer this time as he pulled my hands down from my face. His fingers where at my cheeks, wiping away my tears. They continued to fall as he grabbed my chin, forcing my head in his direction. “Look.” He demanded lightly. “Look at me.” He whispered again when I did nothing the first time.

My eyes fluttered open and it was then I realized we were on the shoulder of the expressway. The car waved slightly each time a speeding car passed us. “Why you cry?” He asked. I blinked causing my soaked, clumped lashes to brush my cheek. “Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.” I croaked, not knowing why I was sorry, not knowing why I was crying. I hated having the feelings but not the memory. My heart ached with remorse yet, my brain remained empty.

“Marlee, there no reason for be sorry.” He huffed.

“Yes it is!” I shrieked. I hated when he did this. He pretty much acted like I was the worst person in the world but when I actually owned up to it he denied it. It was infuriating. “You hate me.” My whisper was a harsh one and he winced at the gritty sound of my voice and sharp curl of my lips.

“I don’t hate you.” He insisted, lips thinned, eyes narrowed.

“You do.”

His sigh was so heavy that the gust brushed my lips and nose. “I don’t!”

“You don’t love me.” My words hung in the air as he stared wordlessly at me. When my eyes narrowed he looked away, his jaw was tense and his body was rigid. “Exactly.” My next breath was uneven as my body shuddered in defeat. I lowered my eyes from his form and turned in my seat, facing the window. Oddly enough it had started to rain. The weather resembled my mood.

“Marlee,” He called. His voice was light and full of defeat. It made my heart stall but I didn’t bother looking at him – I couldn’t. The hurt in his eyes was too much. “Chinky?”

“I call you Chinky now.”

My eyes narrowed to thin slits. “Chinky?” He nodded and his fro bounced back and forth prompting my hands to reach for it. I pulled away, relishing on the softness. He offered a closed mouth smile as he looked off into the distance. I raised my camera and snapped a photo, wanting to bask in this moment forever. Our time was almost up. “Why Chinky?” I asked and he looked down at me, oblivious to the fact that I’d snapped a photo of him. His brown eyes appeared lighter due to the sun and I instantly raised my camera to take another photo. He beamed, now used to me snapping random pictures. When I’d captured the image I repeated my question.

“Chinky because you eyes. Your papa Chinaman.” He laughed as soon as the words left his mouth and I frowned.

“My father is Korean, not Chinese. Don’t be a jackass.” I scolded even as the corner of my lips curved into a smile.

He rolled his eyes and twisted his lips. “Is the same, Chinky.”

“It’s not and don’t call me that.”

“I call you it forever.” He smiled and planted a light kiss on my cheek. I wish we could have a forever, I thought before grabbing my camera and taking a picture of the children who played in the distance.

The memory nearly made me smile but my heavy heart weighed my lips down. “You called me Chinky.” I whispered and he looked away uncomfortably.

“I…” He started then clamped his mouth shut. “You stress and cry for nothing.” He muttered as his eyes drifted to my face. “Please stop crying. I can’t,” He huffed. “I can’t deal with you crying.”

I tensed at his words. “Well, I’d hate to add another thing to the list of things you can’t deal with.” I wiped at my tears angrily, wishing they’d stop.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He grabbed my wrist. “It make me sad for you to cry. That’s what I mean.”

“I can’t help it.” I pulled my wrist away ignoring the tingle that went through me as his fingers brushed mine. “You’re hurt.”

“I’m not.” He insisted, shaking his head to add validity to the lie. It didn’t work.

I rolled my eyes and cocked my head to the side as I stared at him. I knew him. I didn’t remember shit but deep down I knew him. I knew when he was lying. “Larry…”

“I say don’t worry for me. Let’s worry about you getting better.” He reached across my lap and grabbed the list that was now damp with my tears. “Let’s go get this stuff.” I huffed but nodded, watching as he put the car in drive and merged into traffic. It bothered me that he wanted to brush our very obvious issues under the rug but I said nothing about it. He would talk when he wanted to talk. Him not talking meant that he was giving up and I refused to even make that a possibility in my mind.

-

you don’t want my love, I swear you don’t want it.