i have begun the thing

anti: joy of creation - a theory

(**before reading any further, this theory contains spoilers for the ending of the fnaf fan game ‘joy of creation’.)

so i was talking with @lum1natrix before and we discussed about the correlation between the game and jack/anti. but i just wanted add a few more things into the mix. 

jack recently changed his twitter bio to this, and i’m under the impression that jack finished his playthrough of joy of creation. why? well, in the last level of the game, (spoilers below) you play as scott, the creator of fnaf, in the attic. and the further you play that level, the more you see the house getting set on fire.

but the last cut scene, you see scott trying to escape out of his burning attic, talking to a radio, sobbing and begging, “promise me you won’t hurt them!”, meaning his family. this is where ‘emotional’ and ‘arsonist’ come into play. then, scott gets taken by a mysterious man/animatronic.

could this be a possibility that this is just some big reference, like jack is scott and anti is whatever that is after him? and jack saying “promise me you won’t hurt them”, with ‘them’ being a reference to us?

in the last cut scene, ‘scott’ repeats himself, saying to his family, “you’re safe now, that’s all that matters.”, but his voice becomes more and more robotic with each time he repeats. this could possibly be anti having taken over jack, posing as him, and telling us that everything is fine.

but it’s the last quote of the game that tripped @lum1natrix and i up. in the game, the voice says “see, they’re safe now. just as you wanted… thank you for your cooperation, scott cawthon.” theory? that’s something anti would say to jack after having taken over him, saying that the community is ‘safe’ and he thanks jack for allowing for him to take over.

also, just another little coincidence (which might not be anything idk but), jack reblogged this post and added ‘a storm is coming’ in the tags. coincidentally enough, joy of creation takes place during a rain storm.

not to mention, jack started using red lights?

i dunno about you, but i typically correlate red with fire. so… could the burning of jack’s channel already have begun?

Announcing the ‘You and I Have Begun to Knit’ Competition!

(Or, as I have begun secretly to call it, the ‘Ultimate Hannigram Knit-Off Grudge Match of Destiny.’  Don’t ask.)

Hello, all!  Because @oftempestsandteacups and I have been having difficulties with writer’s block for a little while, we decided to try something else– and because we both happen to be knitters and utterly ridiculous people, this is what resulted.

The premise is this:  Beginning on the 17th, we will both be knitting something

  • small enough to knit in a week’s time
  • functional
  • that we think Will would give Hannibal, or vice versa
  • based on an existing picture or pattern, and altered in some way to reflect the aesthetic of the show
  • (or as close to that as we can get– who can tell with knitters?  We’re insane.)

On the 24th we will each present our finished products to the Fannibal community at large, and our lovely impartial judges shall decide which one of us is superior in every way.

The loser shall be led in chains through the streets of Rome in a triumphal parade, immortalised in their humiliation… and will write a short fic for the winner incorporating the winning piece.

We haven’t quite got the parameters by which we will be judged hammered out, but one of our judges will be the wonderful @sofancydancy, whose impeccable taste and infallible wisdom is well-established.

Vae victis!  [Woe to the vanquished!]

anonymous asked:

What if Bri proposes too Dom????

He’d probably freak out and have to say no, which Bri understands and respects. 


Prompt: Hmm…what about something where one of the sides is afraid of something and they go to Virgil because he understands fear and actually helps them work through it? @randomslasher

Pairings: (pre)Analogical

Genres: Hurt/comfort, fluff, problem-solving,

Warnings: Sass, potential feels, cursing (swear word)

Word Count: 1160

Author’s Note: So…this is a little longer than originally intended, but I had so much fun writing this! Hope you enjoy.

The situation was intolerable and Logan had reached the end of his considerable patience.  It was illogical and emotionally charged.  Logan had tried to deal with it himself, but he was uncharacteristically unable to think and process this… whatever it was.  His fear was preventing him from functioning properly.

There was only one thing to do, and he was not pleased about it.  He would have to solicit input from Virgil.

Logan knocked on the anxious side’s door, which slowly and ominously creaked open. Virgil must not have closed it tightly, he thought. Stepping across the threshold, Logan took a minute to let his eyes adjust to the relative darkness of the room. He didn’t see the desired trait, which was a bit inconvenient; but then again, he did have a way of appearing.

“Virgil?  Are you here?”

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Let's Make A Mental Illness Inclusive Witchcraft Community

I know I’m not the only one. There are other witches who hide their mental illness on their witchcraft blog. I’ve never personally seen hostility towards the mentally ill in the witchcraft community here, but I still made a whole separate blog for my craft out of fear of judgment.

I have seen other witches vaguely mention their mental health, so I know I am not alone here. I don’t want my personal blog and my witchcraft blog to be separate anymore. My practice IS personal, and keeping them separate takes too much energy. I have already begun posting witchcraft related things on this blog, but I still hesitate reaching out to other witches from this blog.

PLEASE REBLOG if you are a witch who has or is supportive of serious mental illnesses (including but not limited to Dissociative Identity Disorder, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bi-polar Disorder, etc.) I want to know who I can safely reach out to.



Recently I have been reading a lot of fanfiction and the one thing I have begun to do and will never stop is LEAVE COMMENTS. It helps the writer so much and keeps them motivated. You could write one word or could write a whole freaking novel, i don’t care. That person has spent time writing a fanfiction for you to enjoy so please show them you enjoyed it, (or if u disliked it, show them how to improve but in a good way.


I’m Conceited. Honestly, I Haven’t Got a Reason

I am a newbie returning to the bowl for the third time. I have turned down 2 arrangements and talked myself out of another. I thought I could do better. I have not yet. I thought I was better than all of that. I thought that I deserved $3,000 off the bat. I thought there were so many men in my city with that type of money just willing to hand it over to a pretty black girl in drug store lipstick. My bank account says otherwise. My absolutely barren inbox says otherwise. 

I have walked into sugar dating with the advice of established sb’s in my head. Know your worth! Girl, don’t you take some little allowance from him! These men are idiots! Take EVERYTHING! These words of advice have hindered me more than they’ve helped me. 

SA, SD4M, sugardaddie, they have all been disappointments for me. SD4M less so than the others. The fact remains however that while I’ve gotten offers and dates from that site, they haven’t led to anything substantial. The fact remains that this is largely my fault. 

It is time for me to admit that things aren’t working. However, unlike my previous experiences in the bowl, it is not time for me to give up. I focused on the glitz and glamour. I focused on the pretty pictures of Cartier, Chanel, and Louboutins. I ignored the advice to focus on what prompted me to enter the bowl and get that need taken care of first before pursuing any other superficial goals. I started this journey because I hate the humdrum of a 9-5. I want to be able to pursue my passions without having the hindrance of financial responsibility. What is the best way to do that? Find a man (or woman) that’s willing to cover my basic bills and focus on getting my business up and running as quickly as possible. If I had focused on that I could have accepted an allowance of $1,500 or less and accomplished my first goal. I could have gotten a second SD who may have been offering a smaller allowance and deposited that money directly into a savings account. Hindsight is 20/20 and one of my cardinal sins is greed. It is brought on by a lust for things I don’t really need. It is brought on by a lust for the instantaneous, the easy path to success. 

It is time for me to admit that things aren’t working. Sugar websites are not leading me to arrangements with sugar daddies. This is mostly my fault. I have been pursuing an excessive allowance instead of a necessary one. I have lacked consistency with the men that have shown interest and I haven’t been nearly as aggressive as I could be. 

It is time for me to admit that things aren’t working. I am not experienced enough to command the type of allowance I would ultimately desire. I have not yet been lucky enough to find a man to blindly hand me the allowance that I would ultimately like. And I have not done anything to put myself in the path of such a man. 

Certain things however are working. I have finally begun to pay attention not just to the pretty pictures and the success stories but the stories of hard work, confusion, and sometimes depression that preceded them. I have determined what I need vs what I want. I have unplugged myself from the fantasy of this life and focused on what I want my reality to be. I have looked at my failures and my losses and instead of making excuses and giving up I am looking forward. I’ve built a loose business plan that I’ll continue to refine. I have found the sites and methods that work for me and I’m going to expand upon them. I’m going to go on dates. I’m going to keep an open mind. I’m going to kick ass.

Stress Reliever

Summary: Negan catches you in a cat fight with one of his wives and decides to screw your uptight personality out of you (consensually, of course!). 

Warnings: Swearing, smut, sex, a little bit of alcohol

Note: Two things – 1) I have begun tagging people in my fics! Let me know if you would like to be tagged in future fics! 2) If there is anything any of you are really uncomfortable with me writing about, please let me know, anon or not! I will make sure not to cover those things!

Originally posted by fallenhuntersx

Your uptight, stickler-for-rules, judgmental personality did not fade in the least after the world ended. In fact, those traits were merely enhanced by all the chaos. You didn’t get along with most people. Even after living at the sanctuary for four months, you did not find one person you even remotely liked. 

You hated the people you worked with; they were all morons. You hated the Saviors; they were mindless savages who followed Negan around like puppies. You hated Negan; he was a violent and arrogant asshole, although maybe deep down you could admit that he was good-looking. But most of all, you hated Negan’s wives. You always struggled to get along with other women, especially women who sat around on their ass all day and merely enjoyed “looking pretty”.

Unfortunately, you were forced to interact with his wives almost on a daily basis. You were in charge of doing their laundry and bringing it to their room. And every time you came into contact with them, there was always a verbal brawl. Between you calling them ditzy, lazy, and slutty, and them calling you a plain Jane, bland, and a bitch, there was never a dull moment when you interacted with them. 

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anonymous asked:

Hey, sorry, this is kind of a weird question, but you're the only person I can think of to come with this to. I've also been a big time fan of Peter Pan ever since I was a kid, but I'm about to graduate high school this Saturday. So I just wanted to ask - from one Pan fan to another... how did you deal with growing up?

Okay first of all, please accept my apology for this delayed response. I’m so sorry that it has taken me so long to reply, but growing up has been hard, so it’s a major reflection to talk about.

Second of all, congratulations! I hope the end of your time in high school went smoothly and that you’re excited about whatever may come next!

As for your question.

Dang, I’ve started to tear up already and I haven’t even started typing.

I’ve said before that the reader is meant to identify with Wendy’s role in the story - ultimately, she realizes that growing up is important and a natural part of life, and she allows herself to be excited about her potential for her future. But I get where Peter is coming from too. The future is scary. Psychological studies have shown that most people are optimistic about the future - we tend to believe things will get better rather than worse. We think the future holds a better job, a happier home, a full family, and so on. But I think many of us are left with the question: what if it doesn’t get better?

In high school, I was a pretty quiet person. I got straight As, I was a model student. I shown most brightly in choir and definitely in theatre. I went through many different ideas of what I wanted to do - author, actor, elementary teacher, even a dentist at one point. But I was the theatre kid. I loved theatre, I’ve done it consistently since I was seven years old, I’ve done dozens and dozens of shows. It was, in a way, the path of least resistance.

In college, as is often the case, others were lit more brightly than I was. It wasn’t a shock, I expected to receive smaller roles and understudies in my first year, but other freshmen were playing John Proctor and Abigail in The Crucible while I was sitting quietly in the back as Ezekiel Cheever, who has maybe ten lines in the whole show. I got my share of leading roles as my time progressed and I was cast every semester - but I just wasn’t ever the gem of the department. My friends were.

I went to school thirty minutes away from my hometown. It was just far enough to get away while still having that safety net. Around my sophomore year, a friend of mine did the Disney College Program and I started getting it in my head that I wanted to go work at Disney too. I’m sure my closely-guarded secret crush on him was related to this, but I also love Disney and it seemed like a natural step. Again, the path of least resistance. I’ve always had a connection to Florida anyway because I was born here, and I also needed the distance from my hometown that Orlando provided to allow me to - pardon the horrible cliche - “find myself.” Let’s say, I needed to… figure some things out.

I’ve learned the most about myself and life in general in my time down here in Florida. I still have a hard time thinking of myself as an adult. I’ve lived with many different roommates, with both positive and negative results. I’ve taken on a lot more responsibility financially, but my dad still covers my phone bill and we all share my sister’s Netflix account. I now live in a house - a real house! - but we rent it from a guy in the Netherlands and it takes a total of five roommates to cover the rent and we have almost zero furniture in the shared spaces because we all came from apartments where the other people owned the couches and tables and chairs.

There’s a lot of yucky things about growing up. Bills are the worst part. I hate cleaning dishes. I don’t mind putting the laundry in but taking it out and folding and hanging everything is a drag. I made spaghetti for the first time a month ago and my first ever grilled cheese two weeks ago. I always put off vacuuming as long as possible. Maintenance for my car is beyond annoying.

But responsibility means freedom. Growing up ties you down in many ways but it releases you in others. Don’t want to make the bed? You don’t have to. As long as you’re happy with an unmade bed, you’re allowed to do that. (I love having a made bed, which is probably shocking to absolutely no one.) Want to eat ice cream for dinner? You can. It’s not great for you, but sometimes you just need some ice cream and now there’s no one to tell you no. And the sucky parts of growing up often yield positive results. That grilled cheese I made? I NAILED it on the first shot, it turns out I make a FANTASTIC grilled cheese, and now I think I’m a gourmet chef every time I butter up a couple pieces of toast and put some Kraft slices between them. Keeping up with the car is rough, especially because I don’t know a thing about cars - but I have a car. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. I often don’t. But if I wanted to, I could. I probably don’t exercise the freedom that growing up allows as much as I could, honestly.

Growing up is always on my mind. I’m 27. I thought I’d be married by 25 but I am very single with no potential suitor in sight. My dad was my age when I was born. I still text him every time I have a question about student loans or any money thing, really. I feel like I should know all this stuff by now, but every day I learn a little bit more and get a little closer to total responsibility. I hate that I’m this age and can’t afford my own place or even a couch for the place I do have. It’s like the lovely lady says in Finding Neverland about the crocodile’s role in the play. Time is chasing all of us.

The roughest part has been this year. Receiving a Stage III C colon cancer diagnosis at the age of 27 was surreal. When the doctor said the word “cancer,” I had a Hermione Granger response. I was very matter-of-fact, very clinical. When I told a friend that night and said the word “cancer” out loud with my own lips, I broke down in tears. I’m a fully grown man with a job and a house and a beard and I felt like a child inside. I was terrified. I still am. It’s not done, and it’s never going to be. This is something I’ll have to keep checking in on for the rest of my life.

This is a pattern I have begun to notice about being a grown up. Things don’t go away. You fix the car and something else breaks. You empty the dishwasher and fill it right back up. You go to the doctor and find out a diagnosis and now you have to monitor that continuously. You come out to your close friends, you finally come out to your family, you think it’s done, I’m out, I’m free - but you just escape from a tiny cage and found out that that cage was inside another one that is only marginally bigger than the first, and every time you meet someone new, you have to come out again and again and who knows how they’re going to react. I know there’s another Neverland-related simile here but I can’t think of what it is.

I still think grown-up me is someone that exists in the future, not in the present. I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. It’s changing all the time. For now, I have enough battles to get through, the job is the least of my concerns. And when I think about my future, if someone were to ask me what I want in the coming years, the job doesn’t even come to mind. I think about my relationships and what I want those to look like. That’s not the case for everyone, but it’s something important I’ve realized about myself.

Here’s a thought: Peter Pan loves being a child because he thinks it brings him freedom. But Wendy sees how trapped Peter is, physically and mentally and emotionally, and realizes that she must return to the responsibilities that await her in adulthood in order to grow and earn that ability to make your own choices. That’s what growing up is. Making your own choices.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve answered your question. I have to tell you though, you’re not alone in this feeling. I’m probably almost a decade older than you and I feel the same way. Growing up is an awfully big adventure. It’s daunting. But if we don’t keep moving forward, we will trap ourselves even further.

I hope this helps, and I hope you’re doing well. I’d love to hear from you about how you’re feeling as we hit halfway through your first summer post-graduation. If I remember right, it doesn’t entirely feel like everything is changing yet because the first summer just feels like part of the school cycle that you’re used to. Autumn is when it feels like the next stage has begun.

I think that’s all I have to say for now. I poured more of my heart out than I expected to. I’m sending faith and trust your way - I’m sure we both need them right now.

Just some RyderxLiam fluff

or read it on AO3, if you like

Ryder’s gender is unspecified

“So, a land claim? Something with a view?”

They were on the couch in Ryder’s quarters, getting ready to watch a vid, pocorn and sodas and all. Ryder almost gave Liam the old fist-bump on the shoulder, feeling uncomfortable even considering such an adult concept.

It’s not that I don’t want to get more serious, really.

Liam just seemed so confident and nonchalant, even when mentioning things like marriage, or kids. Ryder didn’t feel nearly as composed when it came to anything concerning Liam Kosta.

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Studyblr Introduction Post!

Hello, I am Line! I feel like introducing myself today, so heeeeeyyyyy thereeee,,, here is some information about me

  • I’m a senior in high school (finally)
  • I’m starting to apply to college (yaaayyy, also, aaaaaahhh)
  • I’m a musician! (bassoon and piano are my babes <3) & I love to discuss music
  • Some of the classes I’m taking this year are 
    • AP Physics
    • AP Calculus
    • AP Music Theory
    • BAND
  • I am not very ~aesthetic~ 
    • All of my notes are just in class notes, because I think if I can read them, then they are good enough
      • but I think everyone’s re-written notes and bullet journals are TOP NOTCH and BEAUTIFUL
    • As of now I have very limited drawing skills, especially like computer drawings, so any drawings I post are little doodles
      • i.e the drawing up above is composed of the two things I very much like to doodle, trees & triangles. Also, I love graph paper & felt that this post needed an accompanying image
    • I use my desk more as a place-that-keeps-things-off-the-floor
      • buutttt I have slowly begun to use it more & keep it cleaner
  • I use this studyblr mostly to store information for #futureme
  • I love plants, but I have killed almost every plant I have ever owned
  • This is a side-blog btws
    • A sideblog mostly run on mobile, which makes it 2127 times better than any other blog on this whole website
  • Also, I overuse the word ‘also’ and parentheses (like this) 

So yeah, that is me. Here’s some studyblrs whomst I follow and very much enjoy their content

@gloomstudy @markiveelle @studyoon @procrastilate @noodledesk 

‘You say that it is important to have courage and sincerity. Therefore I will drop my fear and ask you the questions deepest and most honestly within me, and I hope you will answer.
How can there be any generalizations about the qualities of man and woman? We are each and every one of us fifty percent man and fifty percent woman, then we must each possess varying degrees of male or female characteristics not dependent entirely on if our physical bodies in this lifetime are born male or female.
I am female but I have always written poetry and I have never been so good at shopping lists. I am female but I have not been suspicious or jealous of man’s love affair with his art. In fact I have more often been in the role of choosing to be with my writing, than choosing to be in relationship leading to home and family. I am female but I feel my creativity and ideas come from strongly within me, and do not look to a man for them.
If I have been uncertain about my wholeness within, I have looked outside but never specifically to someone because of the sex they happen to be.
And I have loved women as well as men—not when no man was available to me, but because I was not looking at the outer illusion of this being man or woman, but feeling the essence of that person within.
I feel these generalizations reinforce our already strong preoccupation with the world of illusion and belief in the physical universe.
You can see you’ve made me angry, so I suppose you have begun to reach me.’

The first thing: generalizations are generalizations. They are not applicable to every single particular human being, that’s why they are called generalizations. The average man does not exist, you cannot find the average man anywhere. But the idea is good, it helps clarity. You cannot find, absolutely corresponding to the generalized idea, a single human being. Human beings come in all sizes and shapes and colours, they are unique. But still, generalization has its own point…

For example, only one single woman has asked the question—there are thousands of women here. Secondly, the very question shows me that Deborah must be very good at making shopping lists. And I am afraid about her poetry too. You can write a shopping list in poetry form. I would have to have a look at her poetry, only then can I say anything. My own experience is that out of a hundred poetries ninety-nine are shopping lists. It does not matter whether they are written by men or women. It is very rare to find poetry.
It is said of a great Zen master, Lin Chi… He had ten thousand monks, disciples, in his monastery. The king had come to see the monastery, he was very much impressed, and Lin Chi was taking him around. And the king asked, ‘How many disciples do you have?’ He said, ‘One in a hundred.’
A strange answer—one in a hundred? But that’s how it has always been. When you have a hundred disciples only one is really a disciple. Ninety-nine are just hangers-around.
Even a great poet, when he writes poetry, ninety-nine times writes only shopping lists. Only once in a while the poetry happens—all poetries are not poetic. And sometimes this too happens, that a shopping list may have great poetry. All shopping lists are not necessarily unpoetic.

But Deborah must belong to the new kind of woman that is arising in the world, the lib woman.
One thing has to be understood: the liberation movement that is going on in the world is a man-created phenomenon, a male-created phenomenon. You will be surprised about it, that it is again a male conspiracy. Now man wants to get rid of women. He wants to have no responsibility. He wants to enjoy women but only as fun; he does not want to take all the other responsibilities that come with it. Now, this is a subtle conspiracy: the man is trying to persuade women all over the world that the woman has to become independent. It is a subtle trick. And the male mind is cunning and the male mind is succeeding. And now many women have become poisoned by this idea.
Do you know? The first persons who started talking about equality between man and woman were men, not women. The first persons who started talking about it, that they should have equal freedom, were men, not women. The seed comes from the male mind. And it has always been so—whenever a man feels what is in his favour, he manages it. His cunning is very subtle. And sometimes he manages it in such a way that the woman thinks she is doing it on her own. In the past also it has been so.
Man has persuaded women in the past that they are pure beings, angels. Man is dirty, boys are boys—but the woman? She is divine. Man has put woman on a high pedestal; that was his trick to control woman. Man has worshipped, and through worship he has controlled. And naturally, when the woman was on the pedestal she thought that she was something divine—she could not do those things that men are doing, she could not, because that was going against her ego. That high pedestal was very ego-satisfying. She was the mother, she was divine; she had more divine qualities than man. Man is ugly, immoral, and all that. Man has to be forgiven for that. So man, down the ages, started remaining in his ways. And the woman was high. But this was a trick, the ego was persuaded. And once your ego is persuaded, you are caught. Then you cannot move from your position. To ask for equality will be a kind of fall—you will have to come down to become equal. It was a strategy, and the woman followed it. She remained pure, she remained virgin up to the marriage. It was not so for the man.
If the woman died, the man was allowed to marry again—because boys are boys, they cannot live without the woman. If the man died, the woman had to remain a widow for her whole life. Or, in this country particularly—which did this strategy to the very logical end—she had to commit suicide. She had to burn herself alive with the husband. And millions of women did it. How were they persuaded? And do you think they were forced? No, nobody was forcing them. There was no visible coercion, just a very deep seduction. By becoming SATIS, by going into the fire with the husband, their egos were fulfilled. Greatly fulfilled—people worshipped them. When they entered into the fire, thousands of people would gather together and sing songs in praise of the purity of woman. And if a woman did not go with the husband into the fire, did not commit suicide, she was condemned, utterly condemned. She was a bad woman. Just by trying to be alive, she was a bad woman. She was disrespected; she would fall immediately in the eyes of others, she would lose all respect. Her life would become a hell. She would be condemned everywhere, she would not be welcomed anywhere. She would be thought of as a bad omen. In no marriage would she be able to participate. If a child was born and people were celebrating, she would not be able to participate. She would not be allowed to decorate her body, to use beautiful clothes or ornaments or have long hair—no, she had to live in an ugliness, and condemned from everywhere. It was worse than death. So it was better to jump into the fire once and for all, and have the respect. And temples were raised in the memory of those women. And those women were thinking that they were doing it.
What I am making clear is that those women down the ages were thinking that they were doing it, on their own. And it was not so. Now again the same is happening, in the reverse order. In the West, man has persuaded women that ‘Now you have to be free, you have to be equal.’ Because now things have changed, times have changed—a man would like to enjoy more women than just his wife. Now he wants absolute freedom. And the only way to have absolute freedom is to give absolute freedom to the woman. And he has persuaded her again. And now the woman protesters and libbers, they are shouting with their whole heart for liberty and equality. And they don’t know they are again in the same grip: again man is persuading them. Now man wants to use them and throw them, with no responsibility attached to it. If you look deeply into the whole matter of it, you will be surprised. The male mind is a cunning mind. The woman is more innocent; she cannot be so strategic, so political, she has always believed the man. And you will be surprised: these lib women are again believing in the man! Nothing has changed. Now THIS is in favour of the man that you should be free and you should not ask for any commitment. He does not want to commit himself, he wants to have all freedom. He does not want to take the responsibility of your children. He does not want to live with you forever, he wants to change his woman every day. But now again he is creating beautiful words: ‘One should live in no commitment. One should live without involvement. One should not be possessive, one should not be jealous.’ Now again he is creating beautiful philosophy. He has done it before too—and then too women were deceived, and again they are going to be deceived.
Women trust. Trust is easy for them; love comes easier to them than logic. And they are very much concerned with the immediate. The man always thinks of strategies, tactics, what will happen, how it will happen—he thinks of the future, he plans for the future.

Now, Deborah repeats at least five times in this question: ‘I am a female’. Is there some worry? Is there some doubt? There must be. One thing has to be told to you: just by being in a female body one need not be a woman. Just by being in a male body one need not be a man. Man and woman are more states of the mind.
There are men who are psychologically not male but female, and there are women who are psychologically not women but men. These are the people who create many problems, because they cannot be heterosexual. Heterosexuality has no appeal for them, they have to be homosexuals or lesbians. Their psychology is different from their physiology; their biology and their psychology have a gap in them, unbridged. And there is going to remain a problem with them. In fact in a better world, in the future world—soon, I think by the end of this century—things will be easier. Because if a man is deep down psychologically feeling himself a woman, it is better to go through an operation and become biologically also a woman. Or if a woman is feeling deep down a male, it is better to go through an operation, plastic surgery, and become a man, so it can be bridged. Once this becomes possible, homosexuality and lesbianism will disappear from the world. Otherwise it cannot disappear, because it has a certain reason in it. The man looks a man from the outside; deep down he is not a man, he is a woman. His deeper woman wants a man—hence the homosexual.
And there is a third category also: confused people, who don’t know who they are. In the morning they are women, by the evening they are men. The difference is so small that they shrink; they become bisexuals. One moment they are loving a woman, another moment they are falling in love with a man. Their psychology and biology is in a state of mess; they will live a very confused life. Science can now help these people too, to make things clear.
Now, repeating again and again that ‘I am a female’ creates suspicion. Why so much concern about being a female? Once would have been enough. Even once was not needed—your question would have said that you are a female. And not an ordinary female, a libber.

Let me read the question: ‘You say that it is important to have courage and sincerity. Therefore I will drop my fear and ask you the questions deepest and most honestly within me…’ Now, what kind of questions are deepest and honest in you? Just think of the whole crap of it. These are the deepest questions? I am talking about Ikkyu and Buddha, and these are the deepest questions. And to ask these questions you needed great courage and sincerity!

‘How can there be any generalizations about the qualities of man and woman?’ Generalizations are not possible about ANYTHING, because no individual will fit them. But still, generalizations are meaningful; they simply indicate.
When I say a woman is more concerned with the immediate, I am not saying anything about a particular woman—Deborah, or anybody else. I am simply saying it about WOMANNESS, that womanness is concerned with the immediate. And if you are not concerned with the immediate then something somewhere in your womanhood is missing. That is very essential to femininity: the concern for the immediate, the imminent. But generalizations are generalizations, remember it. And there will be differences between individuals. But the meaning of a generalization is just to indicate a certain quality. It doesn’t say anything about particular individuals, it simply says the quality of being a woman is immediateness.
I would like to see Deborah’s poetry, because there is a possibility there may be that immediateness in the poetry itself. The poetry may be concerned with the imminent, the herenow; it may not be concerned with the ultimate. And the question also shows it—her whole concern is her womanhood. She says, ‘This is my deepest and the most honest question arising in me.’ Buddhahood, God, they are faraway questions. Her whole concern is with her body, her womanhood. It is not just an accident that women are standing before the mirror for hours. Their concern is immediate; they are more concerned with the body than with the soul. They are more materialistic than spiritualistic. They are more factual than fictitious.

‘I am a female but I have always written poetry and I have never been so good at shopping lists. I am female but I have not been suspicious or jealous of man’s love affair with his art. In fact, I have more often been in the role of choosing to be with my writing, than choosing to be in relationship leading to home and family.’

Now, these are complex things.
The atmosphere is such that a woman has to be equal with man. She has not to be interested in the home, family, children, motherhood. She has to become interested in poetry, in literature, in painting, in science, in technology, this and that. Now women’s groups gather together around the world to raise their consciousness. And all their consciousness-raising sessions consist of only one thing, that they have to destroy something deep in their womanhood. Only then can they compete with men. They are soft, naturally soft. They cannot compete with men. If they want to compete with men they will have to become hard. So whenever you come across a lib woman you can see the face loses softness. It is very difficult to say to a lib woman, ‘Baby’—very difficult. And she will be angry too, she will not like it. Why ‘Baby’?—she is equal to you. Hardness arises. All kinds of struggle give hardness.
And you may be trying not to be interested in the home, because if you become interested in the home then you cannot compete in the world. If you become interested in children you cannot compete in the world; then that becomes a distraction. And if you have to compete in the world and prove that you are as strong as men, you have to somehow become more like men. And this will be a loss. This is a loss—because the only hope for humanity is the softness of woman, not the hardness of man. We have suffered enough from the hardness of man. What is needed is that man should become more like woman, rather than woman becoming more like man.
Nietzsche is right when he says that Buddha and Christ were a little womanish. I agree. And this is how it should be—because Buddha is the hope. Men should become a little more womanish, more soft, more waterlike. But what is happening is very unfortunate, women are trying to become like men. Naturally, with whomsoever you compete, you try to become like that. If you are antagonistic against men, sooner or later you will become more like men.
Women are pulling against themselves, trying hard to manage. But that is not natural. The natural is the womb in the woman—that womb hankers for a child, that womb hankers for a home. The home is the visible womb outside the woman, it is a projection of the inner womb. Once a woman is no more interested in the home, she is no more interested in her womb. And that womb is there.
Men and women are NOT equal, because man is missing that womb. How can they be equal? I am not saying they are unequal, but I am certainly saying they are not equal. They are so different—how can they be equal? They are polar opposites. They are so different, they cannot be compared in terms of equality or inequality.
A woman is a woman, a man is a man. And they SHOULD remain man and woman. A woman should remain interested in the home, because once she stops being interested in the home she will stop being interested in the womb, in the child. And then naturally she turns into a lesbian. It is not accidental that libbers become lesbians. Because if you are not interested in the womb and not interested in the child, then for what to be interested in men? Then it is good to be interested in women. This is a very strange phenomenon that is happening in the world.
My own understanding is this, that man has to become a little more feminine. He has gone too far away in becoming a man, he has lost track of all humanity. Don’t follow him, don’t compete with him—otherwise you will be going on in the same rut, in the same routine. You will become warlike. And the libbers screaming and shouting and protesting on the streets are just ugly. They are showing the worst traits of the male mind.

And the last thing: ‘You can see you have made me angry, so I suppose you have begun to reach me.’ Now I must have made you even more angry. Fall in love with me!

—  Osho

SCANDAL; in “GiGS” magazine, Mar 2017 issue - TOMOMI Interview

── When SCANDAL was formed, did you choose to play the bass yourself?

TOMOMI: “When we were recommended to play instruments at the start, honestly, anything was fine. The first thing that came to mind was the guitar, which I tried playing, but it was difficult after all (laughs). When we went to the instruments shop to take a look, I was told that there was something that bore a similar shape (to the guitar), but had 2 fewer strings, so I picked it simply. People at the dance school also told me that I’ll do well with the bass, so that’s how I started off.”

── Did you not ever feel that it is more difficult than the guitar?

TOMOMI: “Doesn’t playing the guitar begin by remembering guitar chords? However, I started off on the bass by remembering single notes, and it wasn’t actually hard to produce a sound. If you pluck it, there’s sound. In such a sense, I didn’t feel it was hard or that I was poor when I first held onto the bass.”

── Did you feel how interesting the bass and being in a band was, being in a world you had not known of before?

TOMOMI: “We’re split 2 and 2 between those who lives in Nagoya, and those who lived in the Kansai region. The only times the 4 of us would meet and play together were during weekends. So when the 4 of us finally get to play together, we’re also finally able to finish up our songs. ‘Ah, so this is how it feels like’. This is true for anyone, but since we really started from zero, I felt that we’ll be able to do more and more by each day, and that was really fun.”

── In that process, you guys got to do more and more original songs, were you also getting more inspired by the members?

TOMOMI: “On the bass? At the start, I’d sing as I play, and the first song that had a completely different vocal melody and bass melody was "Kagerou”, I think. Ah no, I thought that “Kagerou” might be a more troubling song for when I sing as I play. The one that has a different rhythm is “SAKURA Goodbye”. We only just started making our own original songs; There were a lot of bass roots, and the phrases weren’t that difficult. It was a level for someone like myself, who’ve just started playing the bass and whom had to sing as I play. But after that, we had even more of our own songs, and after listening to other songs, I got to know the amount of bass riffs that were in them. It’s not only a rhythmic instrument, but also a melodic instrument, and it’s actually quite deep. I realised that the bass isn’t such a simple instrument after all (laughs).“

── With the bass play in your original songs, the hurdle has gone up.

TOMOMI: "Yes, yes (laughs). But as there’s no short cut, I practiced earnestly. By playing the bass, I also got to gradually know the system that I like. I would want to play a certain phrase of a song, so I’ll copy that. That’s how it went, but I think my awareness for bass play increased through it.”

── As your favourite bassist, did you often devote yourself to (learning from) the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Flea?

TOMOMI: “When I had zero idea about the bass at the start, the first thing I watched was Flea’s playing. If you’ll pluck the bass, there’ll be sound, but mine would sound like a cry (laughs). All these ways of playing were shocking. I did have plenty of phrases that I liked, but I didn’t feel like they provided any direct influence. A bass play that I really liked all the way, since I started out on the bass, was TRICERATOPS’ Hayashi Koji’s play. It wasn’t super complicated, but he would play a different rhythm on the bass, while singing another during the chorus, and all of that is very technical. His phrases not only left an impression, but they also brought out a lot. As a bassist myself, I thought of wanting to know more of all kinds of phrases.”

── Surely, as a bassist for 10 years, you’ve met with many challenges right?

TOMOMI: “In "Koe”, which MAMI is the main vocalist for, I played a bass phrase actively at the bridge. That was extremely new then for me. Up till that time, I’d be singing along either on the chorus or as the main singer, but in “Koe”, I practically didn’t sing at all, and so, I was able to move as I like, without thinking about having to sing. It was the first time that I was able to play the bass in a bassist-like way (laughs).“

── Other than that song, there was other songs with lines in which you had to move furiously. You’re good at that, aren’t you?

TOMOMI: "Nah, I don’t know about that myself (laughs). If our arranger, Kawaguchi-san arranges it, it does tend to turn out pretty intense on the bass. In the past, I had to practice on that aspect (laughs). When MAMI took to composing songs, and when Kawaguchi-san came in for the arrangement, the rhythmic team would be very intense, as according to MAMI’s wishes, and it’ll be even harsher on the bass (laughs). There’d be more complicated, technical phrases. Even if they might be hard in the beginning, but it was fun slowly getting used to it.”

── As a songwriter, it seems that you gone through a slump about 2 and a half years back. As a bassist, did you not ever go through that?

TOMOMI: “Compared to producing, I never had a point where I felt that terrible about myself. However, I did hit walls too. When I was appearing on "Domoto Brothers” (year 2014), I’d be given the score 2 days before the taping. Whenever I see tough scores, although all the musical notes were written down, I’ll be stumped (laughs). Plus, before the taping, Domoto (Tsuyoshi), Shishido Kavka and myself would meet with the audience as the 'Tsuyoshi Man Sisters Band’, where we would do a bit of a funk session. I never did a session before then, so at the beginning, I wasn’t able to play anything besides the same phrase from start to finish. I was rather down then (laughs). So I went back to listen to Flea’s playing once again, and studied the rock phrases by Tower of Power.“

── After such intense learning, did you feel a sense of release afterwards?

TOMOMI: "Well, rather than feeling released, I felt it was more like I got stronger mentally (laughs). I would enter the venue feeling like they were pretty much family, plus, I was alone and didn’t have all the members of SCANDAL with me. In the beginning, I was very careful, but after half a year passed, I was able to better read the scores gradually, and for our last episode, we did about 17 songs in the style of a live (concert). Still, when I got the score 2 days before, I did think it was insane (laughs), but I also felt that I’ll just do the best I can and my heart felt stronger. From then on, whatever happened, I was no longer as scared. Although I don’t remember if it was my playing that got better or what it was.”

── In these 10 years, you’ve also gotten much attention as a lyricist. You performed shockingly during the earlier days, and was praised for your lyrics just overflowing with personality.

TOMOMI: “Thank you very much. However, I’ve been writing lyrics since SCANDAL was formed. I was really happy when I wrote "Switch”. Last time, be it when it was sadness or happiness, I’ll just write these simple feelings down, simply as they are. But for “Switch”, although it was very flat, it obviously moved hearts in its words. Since I wrote this song’s lyrics, I also got to gradually understand the system I like to work with. But when I want to turn more delicate feelings into lyrics, they aren’t exactly write-able material. Be it sadness or fun, aren’t people usually able to tell their feelings at that moment and just write? But whenever I want to record that and turn them into words, my emotions would get all worked up. I’ll say that it’s nothing, but not write them down as notes, and it’s just iffy. That’s why, it’s easier to give birth to flat lyrics naturally.“

── Do you start off your writing by determining a message you’ll like to convey first?

TOMOMI: "That’ll be something recent. During the earlier days, I’ll listen to the tune and just come up with a single word that comes to mind with that sound or melody, then expand from it, as if it were a puzzle, but it wasn’t like the song is being pulled by a certain theme we wished to convey from the start. For the ones who’ve seen the band grow, they’ll know this, so I feel a bit responsible (laughs). I begun to think that we definitely do have things to convey to such people too, so then I’ll write notes and jot down certain things that the members talked about, and make lyrics out of them. It rings true for "HARUKAZE” too. There was another girls band that was formed at the school, around the same period as us, and that was written for those people. Although we talked about standing on the stage together, but it didn’t go as we planned. In the end, the only one that’s still persuing his/her music dream is the vocalist. It’s not just that person, but there are also people who formed bands after looking at us, and towards those who said they look up to us, I thought that I might have things I want to convey to them too, so I turned those thoughts into lyrics.“

Photos and translation by fyscandalband. I’ll be translating the personal setlist portions next~

One Shot of Whiskey by TDKeh16

  • teen and up audiences
  • no archive warnings apply
  • 3 002 words
  • completed
  • gen, whiskey-centric

Whiskey took a deep breath. “You’re really, um, close with Jack Zimmermann, right? Like, more than just from being teammates?”

Bitty tensed. His mind immediately scattered in a dozen different directions, trying to anticipate where this converation was about to lead. “Yes,” he paused to clear his throat. “Jack and I became very good friends when he attended Samwell.”

“Okay.” Whiskey paused to contemplate his next words, but the silence was too long for Bitty’s comfort. Whiskey spoke again just before his upperclassman would have begun to physically squirm. “I… I heard some things… about him… Um, rumours probably, but…”

*** Whiskey and Bitty have a heart-to-heart during a kegster ***