i have beening staring at mark for a long time

Till I See You Again (part 3)


Summary: Jace Wayland was 4 years old when he first fell in love. When he was 9 years old he lost the little girl he loved and he’s been blaming himself ever since. Seventeen years later a mundane girl with an identifying necklace walks into his life and changes him forever.

Jace Wayland X Reader

Words: 2000+

part 1 

part 2

Author’s notes: Guys this one is so long! Sorry it’s a bit of a doozy. Thanks so much for reading! I appreciate all the positive feedback. It really makes my day.

Originally posted by claraschinman

The noise of chattering woke me up. My mind woke up first, so I keep my eyes closed as I try to analyze my surroundings. I’m lying down on a bed and there are people close by, talking in whispers. The pain on my hands and my neck is gone, but there is a warm burn on my left forearm, it feels like someone put a hot cup of tea against my skin. A large whooshing sound forces my eyes open and I jump out of bed, ready to defend myself from the strangers around me. I trip over a pair of legs but strong arms grab me before I fall on the floor. I look up to see the same people from the shipyard looking at me with curiosity and the man that sits on my bed smiles. He is of Asian descent but his eyes were yellow, like a cat, and blue fog is coming out of his fingertips. He must have noticed my gawking because he laughed and shook his head towards me.

“If those big eyes become any bigger, I swear they will swallow us all. My name is Mangus Bane, I’m here to help you remember your past. Now sit, before you trip and hurt yourself again.” The man extends his hands and I take them willingly, his eyes seem trustworthy enough.

“Where am I?” I ask as I look down at myself, I’m wearing new clothes and they certainly aren’t mine, I don’t wear this much black. My attention is drawn to the burning sensation on my forearm and I look at it, someone had tattooed my forearm without my consent.

“What the hell?” I yell angrily while trying to rub the mark off my skin. “You tattooed me? Is this some kind of cult?”

“Relax biscuit. This is…sort of a cult, but a very interesting one.” The man smirks and winks at me as he traces his index finger along my forearm. I feel a tingling sensation in my blood and my veins start to glow white. Then everything happened at once.

I was suddenly standing in the middle of a flower field, there was a young woman in front of me, holding a baby and rocking it back and forth as she hums a lullaby. I recognize the song as being Lavender Blue, my fathers used to sing it to me when I was little. I am then pulled backwards and I am now standing in the same field, but this time a little boy with blonde hair was carrying a toddler on his back, they were running through the flower fields. The scene changes again, the two children were a bit older now, and they were sitting under a tree. The boy was holding a long-chained necklace and was placing around the girls’ neck. I recognize the necklace instantly, the amber was unmistakable, it’s my necklace, the one currently in my purse. I fell back on the bed and stared at the mark on my forearm.

“Are you alright?” The girl with long black hair looks at me.

“Ever since I was a child I’ve been seeing strange things. People with other faces, flying creatures. My parents took me to see a psychologist and they diagnosed me of a delusional disorder when I was 8 years old. All my life I’ve been thinking I was crazy.”

“You’re not crazy. You just have the sight. You’re one of us.”

“I….This is all too much.Take me home please. I want to go home.”

Keep reading

Who I Was. (MarkxReader) Pt.5

Originally posted by jack777

Pt.1, Pt.2, Pt.3, Pt.4

A couple of months have passed, and we were on the plane, headed to America. Sora was unable to make it, due to her schedule for Twice. Harper was sitting next to me on the plane. She nudged me, making me look at her.

“You and Mark are getting kinda close. YOu two would be so cute.” She said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Have you forgotten that he has a girlfriend?” I say, raising my eyebrow at her.

“I know he has a girlfriend, I wa just saying.” She shrugged, leaning back in her seat.

“Jinyoung is nice.” I mention.

“How many times have you talked to him? Like three times?” Harper said, giving me a look.

When we landed, there were fans everywhere. They crowded around us, screaming and taking pictures. Everyone was so calm, but I started to panic.

“There’s a lot of people here.” I say, hanging onto Jackson.

“Are you going to have a panic attack?” He asked, concerned.

“What? Me? I’m not panicking, are you panicking? Is it getting a little hot in here? Wow, there’s a lot of people here.” I say, panicking. Jackson pushed through the crowd, trying to get away from everyone.

“Here, shut up and eat this.” He said, handing me a chip from the chip bag he was holding. I took it, and ate it. he kept handing me more, until I calmed down.

“Good job, Jackson.” Mark said, impressed that that actually worked.

“What? Do you think this hasn’t happened before? I know what to do, she is my sister after all.” Jackson said, cockily.

“We still aren’t related.” I say, making Mark laugh.

“And how do you know that?” Jackson asked, helping me into the car that was waiting for us.

“Jackson, how many times are we going to have this conversation?” I asked, as the car started moving to the direction of the hotel.

“What if I told you, you were my half sister?” Jackson said, trying to convince me otherwise.

“I would tell you, you’re insane.” I say, making everyone laugh.

We arrived at the hotel, and checked in, making our way up to our rooms. Harper and I were sharing a room.

“You can stay in Jackson’s room, I don’t mind.” I say, as we get settled in.

“I might tonight… I’ll keep him occupied if you find a cute guy.” She laughed.

“Ha ha, very funny. But thanks. I’ll never get a boyfriend with him always saying he’s my brother and stuff.” I said, making her laugh more. “I think I’m going to go walk around the hotel for a bit, wanna come?” I asked, hoping off the bed, and started to make my way out of the room.

“Nah, I think I’m gonna take a power nap. Traveling makes me extremely tired.” She says, already crawling into the bed.

I left the room, and shut the door quietly, starting to walk down the hall.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later, beautiful.” Mark says, into his phone, before hanging up. When he looked up from his phone, his eyes met mine, and he smiled. “What’re you doing out here?” He asked.

“Just walking around the hotel.” I say, starting to walk again.

“Oh, I’m walking too. Let’s walk together.” He said, joining me on my walk down the hallway.

“So, how’s Sora?” I asked, breaking the silence between us.

“She’s good. She’s really busy and stuff.” Mark says, simply.

“Sounds fun.” I said, crossing my arms as we walked.

“You having fun? Now that we’re away from the crowd and all?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, I’ve calmed down a lot since the airport… Sorry you had to see me freak out.” I said, embarrassed that he had to that.

“It’s okay. I’m glad Jackson knew what to do. He said it’s happened before?” He asks.

“Yeah, it happens a lot, sometimes over small things, like being late to an event or something. It’s whatever.” I said, shrugging it off.

“That doesn’t sound like whatever.” Mark pauses for a second. “Hey, since tonight is our free night, me and you should probably go over some Korean.” He suggested, making me groan.

“Oh come on, can’t we do that when we get back?” I asked, not wanting to learn anymore.

“How long has it been since you’ve studied it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Like a month.” I mumble.

“Exactly, no backing out this time, c’mon.” He took my wrist, and dragged me back to his room. He dug through his suitcase, and dumped out the flashcards we made a while back.

“You even packed them!?” I say, looking at the cards on the ground.

“Yep, let’s get to learning.” He said, sitting on the ground.

We started to go through the words. Mark would hold up a card, and I had to read from it, saying the word in Korean, then translating it to English.  We got one that read ‘키스’.

“Okay, what does this one say?” Mark asked, holding the card up.

“Kiseu.” I say, proud of myself for reading it so well, even though it was a simple word.

“And it means?” Mark questioned.

“Kiss.” I answer, smiling.

“Hm.. What’s that?” He asked, teasingly.

“Next time we come back to the card, I’ll give you a demonstration.” I joked, laughing a little.

Mark laughed as well, and continued to flash different cards. After a few, he went back to the kiss card.

“I think you need to remind me. What is this again?” He asked, leaning a little closer. I laughed, thinking he was joking, turns out he was quite serious.

“You’re serious?” I asked, surprised.

He bit his bottom lip, and smiled. “It’s not like we haven’t kissed before.” He says, innocently, puckering his lips dramatically.  

“Fine.” I said, giving him a peck on the lips.

He chuckled, and pulled me in for a more passionate kiss. That kiss led to making out, and making out led to Mark’s hands traveling around my body. Every part of me was telling me this was a bad idea,  but my body wasn’t listening, I didn’t care.

Mark pulled my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss only for a second, before going right back in. He moved from my lips, down to my neck, his hand squeezing my breasts, soon unhooking my bra. I took his shirt off next, feeling his chest, and abs.

“Is this okay?” He asked, looking me in the eyes.

“Probably not.” I say, bringing him back to my lips.

Let’s just say, thing escalated quickly that night.


“We shouldn’t tell anybody about that.” I said, leaving Mark’s room the next morning.

He tugged at my shirt, and smirked. “Mhm.” is all he said.

He gave me another kiss, before playfully pushing me out into the hall. I laugh, and happily walked back to my room. I lean on the door, smiling like an idiot.

“Hey, where’d you go last night? You never came back to the room.” Harper said, watching as I plopped down on the bed.

“I was with Mark.” I said, regretting it as soon as it left my mouth, due to the look on her face.

She looked me up and down, and her face lit up with realization. “You and Mark had sex didn’t you!?” She practically yelled.

“What!? No!!” I said, almost as loud as her.

“You’re wearing his shirt.” She said, pointing at the oversized shirt I was wearing.

“So?” I said, trying to shrug it off.

“And no pants.” She said, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay that’s-”

“And you have that hair, and that stupid smile everyone gets.” She pointed out.

“Look, I smile a lot.” I started, but she wasn’t having it.

“You’ve been smiling since you got here.” She said. “You’re still doing it!”

“Stop!” I yelled, covering my face with a pillow.

“What happened to ‘Mark has a girlfriend.’ and ‘Jinyoung’s nice.’? Because it seems like you forgot.” Harper said, being a little serious now.

“I mean, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. It’s just a hook up, a one time thing.” I said, trying to wipe the stupid smile off of my face.

“I would be mad, if you two weren’t so freaking cute.” She sighs. “Ugh, if Sora finds out about you two, I didn’t know about the whole thing, got it?” She said, pointing a finger at me.

“I swear, your name won’t even come out of my mouth.” I say, holding one hand to my heart and the other in the air.

“I’m a terrible person.” She sighed.

There was a knock on the door, and Harper got up to get it, letting in Jackson.

“Hey.” He said, sitting on my bed next to me. “What’s up with the look on your face?” Jackson asks, studying me closely. I put my face in my hands, trying to cover my never ending smile. “(Y/N)… Are you okay?” He asked, getting closer to my face.

“We were just talking about girl stuff.” Harper covers for me. “We need to keep talking about it too, so come back later okay?” She said, tugging Jackson out of the room.

~Third person P.O.V~

Jackson walked into Mark’s room, and sighed. “Harper and (Y/N) are acting weird.” He said, sitting on the bed.

Mark looked at him for a second, before answering. “What do you mean?” He asked, sitting down as well.

“Well, when I walked into the girl’s room, (Y/N) had this stupid smile on her face, and when I asked what was up, Harper said they were talking about ‘girl stuff’ and kicked me out of the room… I wonder what’s-” Jackson stopped mid sentence, staring at the ground. “Hey… Isn’t that the shirt (Y/N) wore yesterday?” He asked, holding up the shirt. He looked around the room again. “And those are her pants-” He started, reaching for the clothing, but Mark quickly got up and knocked the pants out of his hands.

“Jackson, we’ve been really good friends for a long time, and I want to say thank you.” Mark said, making Jackson look him in the eyes.

“What?” Jackson raised an eyebrow, in confusion.

“I might have… Cheated on Sora… With (Y/N)…” Mark confessed, after taking a deep breath.

“You what!?” Jackson yelled, ready to hit the boy in front of him.

“But!” Mark said, making Jackson stop mid-slap. “I wanna say thank you.” Mark said, holding his hands up in defense.

“For what? What do you wanna say thank you for, Mark!?” Jackson asked, hands on hips.

“For being there for me.”


“For being my best friend.”


“And for having my back with this.”

“No! I am not being there for you, I don’t have your back, so just stop talking.” Jackson said, shaking his head.

“Just, get it off your chest, you know, tell somebody.” Mark said, staying calm.

“Like who? Who would I tell?” Jackson asked, growing annoyed.

“Well, not Harper.” Mark said. “Definitely not Harper.”

“Oh god.”

“Anyone but Harper.”

“This is too much.” Jackson said, putting his head in his hands.

“I knew I could trust you.” Mark said, putting a hand on Jackson’s shoulder.

“Can I say something, since you’re getting under my skin a little bit?” Jackson asked, running his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah, anything.” Mark said.

Jackson started hitting him, and Mark did the same. The two just stood there, hitting each other like two little girls.

“Give me one shot at that big head, I’m gonna knock you out.” Jackson said, holding up a fist. Mark backed away, and held his hands up.

“Look, I’m sorry! But it was something I needed.” Mark said, giving up on trying to be calm. “It’s been a whole year!” He whined.

“That’s your problem. You need to figure this out.” Jackson said, before storming out of the room.


You both kept this up for a whole week. You and Mark always doing things in his hotel room, and Jackson acting weird around Harper, not knowing she knew about the situation.

One day, you and Mark were trying to go over Korean, but like every time you guys tried to study, one thing lead to another, and you two were making out, when there was a knock at the door. Mark stood up, and went over to the door, fixing his clothes a bit before he actually opened it.

He froze when he saw who was standing in front of him. “Oh, uh, hey Sora…” He trailed off, overly surprised to see her.

“Hey Mark!” She sighed, smiling brightly.

“Hey… What are you doing here?” Mark asks, as he motions for you to leave behind his back.

“Well, Twice got done with promotions early, so they said I could come on tour with you now.” She said, leaning up to kiss him, but Mark moved his face away, and hugged her awkwardly. “Oh, okay, I figured you would want a kiss, but I guess not.” She said, kinda suspicious.

“I’m sick.” He said, quickly. As the two talked, you hid in the bathroom, and shut the door quietly.

“So, can I come in? Or are you gonna make me stand out here for the rest of the tour?” Sora asked.

“Oh, yeah, totally, sure, of course.” Mark said, awkwardly. He looked over his shoulder, to see where you were. When he didn’t see you, he opened the door fully, so Sora could come in.

Once she walked fully in, and her back was turned to the door, you bolted out of the hotel room into the hallway, without being seen.

“Are you okay? You’re acting kinda weird?” Sora asked, eyeing him.

“Me? I’m great, I’m just so surprised and happy you’re here.” Mark said, trying to put on a genuine smile.

He sat on the bed, and Sora sat next to him. She made a weird face, as she felt something under the bed. She bent down, and picked it up, scrunching her eyebrows when she saw the bra that was hiding in the room. Mark cleared his throat, as he stared at it as well.

Realization hit Sora’s face, and she stood up angrily. “Okay, I see.” She said, starting to walk out.

“Dammit Jackson.” Mark practically yells, stopping Sora from leaving. She turned around, and gave him a weird look. “It’s Harper’s, I caught Jackson and Harper doing stuff in here last night, I guess she left it.” Mark says. He grabbed the bra, and threw it somewhere in the room. “He can be a bit much, you know.” He said, shrugging. “Let’s go for a walk, and catch up, K?” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of her head, and leading her out of the room.

anonymous asked:

First time with Seungcheol?

Uhm I got quite into this so I hope you’re fine with a slightly longer scenario! 

Seungcheol’s apartment was located at the end of his apartment building and you were a common guest, day and night alike. You had been going out for around four months after being close friends for equally long, and closer to the present, his apartment started having little traces of you. You had your own toothbrush and towels there, and mixed with his clothes were a few of your own, some left there on purpose and some forgotten by accident.

As much as you had talked about it with each other as well as your closest friends, there was one thing you had yet to do - sex. You had never done it before, and Seungcheol was very understanding of the fact that it would take you some time to become comfortable with the thought; he would wait for as long as you needed him to.

One night, as you were lying on his bed and he was partially on top of you with your lips locked in a passionate kiss like they had been for the previous thirty minutes, though, you realized that it was your own patience that was starting to wear thin. With his hands roaming around your body, touching your breasts through your clothes and cupping your ass, you were getting turned on. Seungcheol’s tongue teasing yours relentlessly did little to calm down the burning flame within you, nor did his knee between your legs.

You shifted around and pulled him as close as you could, and with your thigh pressing against his crotch, you heard Seungcheol moan against your lips and felt his erection against your leg. You gasped into the kiss, the thought of him being as turned on as you were arousing you to no end.

Seungcheol broke your kiss and sat up on his knees, dazedly trying to get up. His cheeks were flushed and he avoided your eyes as he mumbled embarrassedly. “I’m so sorry, uh, I’ll just go take care of it real quick, okay?”

Before you were able to regret, you took a firm hold of his wrist and effectively brought his eyes back on you. You bit your lip, hardly even able to believe you were about to say what you were. “Can’t we take care of it together?”

A nervous giggle escaped you when you saw just how fast blood was rushing to his ears, neck and cheeks, and he stammered a little as he spoke. “Like– you mean–”

You smiled warmly at him and began slowly pulling him closer. “Yes. See, you’ve been waiting for a long time, and–”

Seungcheol let out the breath he had unconsciously been holding, laughed nervously and shook his head. “Honey, we’re not going to do it just because you feel like I’ve waited for a long time. I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to–”

“–and I’m dying to have sex with you.”

The smile on his face died down at your words and his mouth hung open as he stared at you - you could practically see the question marks flying around his head. “Did I hear correctly?”

One of the corners of your mouth tugged upwards at his reaction, and you got up on your knees, just like he was, and ran your fingertips down his chest. “I don’t think you know how irresistible you are.”

Seungcheol swallowed hard both at the new tone of your voice and the faint touch of yours that he could feel through his T-shirt. You moved closer to him and looked up at his dark eyes, a small smile tugging at your lips even though your heart was beating awfully fast, and for a second you thought you’d end up taking your words back.

He placed his hands on your hips and leaned down to kiss you softly before only resting your foreheads together. “Are you sure about this? Honestly, if you’re not ready, we don’t–”

You shut him up with a kiss and chuckled a little when you pulled away. “I’m sure, but you questioning it is making me doubt it.”

Seungcheol fell silent and broke into a smile, whispering a quiet “Okay” before kissing you again, this time more passionately, and slowly laid you back on the bed with your arms around his neck. The kisses grew hungrier with each passing second on both ends, and his hands were moving around your body more freely than before, just like yours were moving on his.

You had easily slipped your hands underneath his loose T-shirt, and being able to touch all those tensing, moving muscles of his back and stomach sent tingles down your spine. He nibbled on your lower lip while his hand slowly slid underneath your shirt, making you shiver. Letting your lip go, he chuckled quietly.

“Relax, baby,” he said against your lips, voice husky yet comforting. You nodded and tried to relax, as difficult as it was with his hand continuing its journey up to your chest and slowly slipping underneath your bra. With his hand coming into contact with your bare breast, you moaned into the kiss, arching into his touch when he teased your nipple.

His breathing was heavy and in all honesty he wasn’t sure of how to proceed - he wanted to make it as pleasant for you as possible and the fear of something going wrong was slowly taking over him. You noticed that his thoughts were drifting elsewhere and caressed his back.

“Everything okay, Seungcheol?” you asked, slightly out of breath, and got a huff back from him. With a nod, he grinned, and it only got wider when you tugged at the hem of his shirt as a plea for him to remove it, which was exactly what he did.

You swallowed hard at the sight of him shirtless; while it wasn’t the first time you saw him like that, it was the first time in a situation of that kind, and… shit, he was hot, and the room was getting unbearably hot, as well.

He smirked at the way you were practically eating him with your eyes, but you saw his jaw tighten when you sat up and unhooked your bra before lifting both your shirt and it off, barely able to resist the urge to cover your chest as soon as it was revealed. Seungcheol’s mouth went slack at the sight, and as much as he wanted to hide how much it was affecting him, he was already painfully hard in his pants and your beautiful, tempting chest didn’t improve the situation, although your shyness did make him melt in a whole different way.

After he had managed to collect himself again, he leaned down to kiss you, cupping one of your breasts and grunting as you moaned at his touch, desperate for more. Slowly, he slid both of his hands down your sides, stopping them at the waistband of your pajama shorts and continuing only when you lifted your hips, signaling that it was okay.

With your shorts went your underwear and you were left naked under his eyes, him sitting on his knees between your slightly parted legs. He inhaled sharply as he ran his fingertips lightly over your soft skin as you shivered beneath it, and he was unable to hold in the instinctual ‘Wow’. “Shit, baby, you’re perfect.”

You let out a nervous laugh, gasping when his fingertips slid all the way to your core. Seungcheol ran his fingers through your wet folds, which caused your hips to buck against his hand. He bit his lip, moving his fingers around a little, ghosting past your entrance before moving to your clit. “This wet for me already?”

You wanted to either hide under a rock or throw a pillow at your boyfriend - both options felt equally appealing. “I think that’s a given.”

Seungcheol merely shook his head before gingerly leaning down and running his tongue on the sensitive skin of your breast, circling your nipple before flicking it with his tongue and eliciting a whine from you. His fingers that had never left your heat continued rubbing your clit slowly, until he moved them lower and began teasing your entrance with one of those fingers.

“I-I’ve… before…” you mumbled with a sharp intake of air, trying to strongly hint at the finger nearly entering you, and got a grin from Seungcheol.

“It’ll still feel different, so just let me go slow, okay,” he said and took your nipple into his mouth at the same time as he began easing the digit in slowly. You were tight around him, like he had thought; after all, the difference in the thickness of your fingers was noticeable. You got your hands in his hair and clenched your teeth as he pumped his digit in and out of you with his thumb starting to massage your clit in slow circles again, which nearly immediately caused your hips to jerk and your mouth to open in a moan.

“I’ll add another one,” he mumbled, mesmerized as he looked at your face that had started to show clear signs of pleasure. The signs went away momentarily as his middle finger began pushing in, but with the increased pace of his thumb on your clit and teasing both of your nipples with his tongue in turns and leaving them damp with his saliva, your expression softened again. Your slightly scrunched eyebrows and open mouth were one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen, with your chest rising and falling rapidly underneath him and your moans filling his ears.

“It feels good,” you admitted quietly, slowly starting to chase his fingers with your hips and tightening your hand in Seungcheol’s hair when he curled his fingers after pushing them deep into you, the light brush against your spot making you jolt.

When he moved a little, however, you were reminded of something and opened your eyes, pushing Seungcheol up. “Your pants.”

He grinned, knowing exactly what you meant but unable to hold his teasing nature back as he kissed you. “What about them?”

You kissed him back, moving your hands hastily to the waistband of the joggers he was wearing. You wanted to smack him, but decided against it once again. “They need to come off.”

Seungcheol laughed and stood up to remove his pants and underwear, standing still for a while, embarrassment washing over him again at the realization that he was naked in front of you for the first time. While you had given him a couple of quick handjobs in the past, they had never exactly included him taking his pants off, so to say you were curious and excited would’ve been an understatement. You were propped on your elbows and your mouth hung at least as open as his had when the last pieces of your clothing had come off, and you could barely tear your eyes off his cock, hard against his abdomen.

The sight was quite something, and after taking in all of it - his toned muscles, broad shoulders and, indeed, his length - you felt your stomach twist a little and your core clench around nothing as you let out an involuntary moan.

Seungcheol smiled at that and was quick to fetch a condom from his drawer, muttering a “I had to be prepared, this was bound to happen sooner or later…” when you quirked an eyebrow at that. He got back on the bed and started ripping the package of the condom, which gave you a moment to adore him, now up close. You swallowed; the proximity of his cock was making you nervous, but at the same time you couldn’t wait to have him inside of you, as scary as the thought, on the other hand, was.

He put the condom on as you allowed your eyes to wander up the trail of dark hair to his stomach and from there to his smooth chest, until you ended up staring at his face, or more precisely, his eyes. Seungcheol gave you a quick smile before he leaned down again, easily sliding two of his fingers into your wet core while his mouth found your neck and he began sucking on the skin.

A strangled moan left your lips at that, and your breath hitched in your throat momentarily when Seungcheol started easing a third finger into you, his thumb now rubbing circles into your clit like he had done earlier to both distract you from the stretch and give him more lubrication to work with. With all three digits pushing into you slowly and your whimpers getting regular, he moved from your neck to your lips and kissed all of the sounds away.

When he was sure you were accustomed to three fingers inside of you, he began moving them, first agonizingly slowly, but when you loosened a little around them, he picked up his pace, all the while making sure you showed no signs of discomfort. And indeed, a while later you were a quietly moaning mess underneath him, your hips chasing his fingers a little and your fingertips digging into his skin. He grinned and bit his lip, excitement bubbling inside of him.

He pulled his fingers out of you and licked them clean, the sight of which made you hide your face in embarrassment. Seungcheol laughed a little, eagerly lapping your arousal off his fingers and caressing your side gently with his free hand. “It’s okay, baby, you taste amazing. I love each and every bit of you, and this is no exception.”

You moved your hands away from your face and sighed shakily, nodding and whispering similar words barely audibly. Seungcheol was biting his lip, his hands now resting on your thighs, between which he was sitting on his knees, and instinctively you got up enough to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down with you, smashing your lips against his. He kissed you passionately, both of you gasping into the kiss when his length was rubbing against your swollen, dripping folds and equally sensitive clit.

You felt shaky and only tightened your arms around him, trying to find support of some kind from the kiss you were sharing. He began purposely grinding against you, but eventually, when you were starting to whimper words that sounded a lot like “Please” and “I need you”, Seungcheol leaned away again, his hands gentle as they ran up and down your sides.

“Are you ready?” he asked, concern evident in his eyes, and you replied with a quick nod. As soon as he had aligned himself with your entrance, you wrapped your legs around his waist and let your eyes fall shut when you felt the head of his cock push in. He grunted at the tightness, his mouth opening with how good it felt. When he heard your breath hitch, he wasted no time in bringing his thumb to your clit again and leaned down to kiss your neck, from where he soon moved to your lips, all the while trying to remain as still as he could.

“Just say when it’s good, baby,” he mumbled against your lips and you nodded, holding his shoulders tight enough to leave bruises.

It didn’t take too long for you to tighten your legs around him and pull him closer, though, and Seungcheol almost lost it when you spoke again, your voice foreignly low and luscious. “I need more of you, Seungcheol.”

Without a word, he continued pushing in, and when he was all the way in he stayed in place, his mouth open against your neck while he tried to get over how tight and hot you were around him. It was so, so much more better than he had ever imagined, and he had imagined that very moment quite a few times.

After a while you you began moving your hips tentatively, gasping into Seungcheol’s ear at the feeling. He bit his lip and continued his movements on your clit that he had stilled when he had been overwhelmed of being inside of you, and a few seconds later you could feel him pulling nearly completely out of you before slowly sliding back in, eliciting a whine from you.

Some thrusts later he increased the pace a little, grunting at the tightness that seemed to never cease. You were unable to hold your moans in as he moved inside of you, his breath hot against your neck.

He was counting inside of his head, trying to keep himself under control and to keep his thrusts fairly slow and gentle, but it proved to be quite a challenging task with the way you were clawing at his back, mewling and whimpering his name right by his ear and slowly bucking against him. He groaned and bit the skin of your neck lightly, all of the sensations going straight to his cock, aching to come. “Oh my God, Y/N, do you have any idea what that does to me?”

“What does it do?”

“This,” he grunted and gave you a surprisingly deep thrust, hitting your spot and making you moan loudly as your core clenched around him, which in turn made Seungcheol groan again. He continued with thrusts like that, hitting your spot and increasing his pace a little when he was sure you were comfortable enough - from the way you were whimpering and bucking your hips against him, he figured you were alright.

“I think I’m close,” you gasped, and Seungcheol began rolling his hips before slamming into you with a bit more force, your name slipping from his lips as he chased his orgasm as well as yours. Of course, you were his main priority, but he couldn’t deny the aching need of his own. As your moans got louder, Seungcheol kissed you sweetly, swallowing every single beautiful sound of yours, even the unbelievably high one that you let out when you finally reached your peak, your nails dragging along the skin of his back and the heels of your feet digging into his lower back.

A few thrusts later Seungcheol released as well, and this time it was you swallowing his sounds, your tongue playing with his.

Moments later, you were panting next to each other, his condom lying in the bin between Seungcheol’s bed and desk, and his hand holding yours. You were sore but utterly satisfied, the only regret being that you hadn’t done it sooner. But you knew it was better to wait until it felt as right as it had that night; if you had done it before you were absolutely sure of what you wanted or had built absolute trust with Seungcheol, the experience most likely wouldn’t have been as pleasant.

He turned his face to yours and you did the same, frowning at the worried pout he had on. “Was I too rough? Please tell me if I was, I’m really sorry, it just– you turned me on so much and I just–”

You laughed lightly and pressed your forefinger against his lips, shushing him. “It was perfect, Cheol. I never thought it would be that good.”

He grinned widely and leaned over you to kiss you, his hand caressing your cheek. “You know I love you, right?”

You chuckled as you kissed him back, bubbling with joy at the words that you in all honesty heard fairly often, although you never grew tired of them. “I love you, too.”

Admin Scooter

Stubborn (Adam Driver x Reader) Part 1

A/N: Adam isn’t an actor in this. Just a normal guy. Still cute as ever though! This story also builds up slowly, just FYI. 

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Swearing.


“I have this guy who I think you’ll really like.”

You look up from your laptop and stare blankly at your friend, Hanna. “Don’t tell me, he’s one of your boyfriend’s friends and he’s been single for a long time. And you and Mark just decided ‘Hey! We both have a loser friend right now so let’s set them up together!’

Hanna narrows her eyes at you slightly as she gets off your sofa after a glance at her phone, “It’s at a fancy Japanese restaurant so wear something nice and be at my apartment by 6pm.”

You watch as she packs her laptop away too, and pulls out her car keys. 

Pausing at the front door, Hanna says to you, “Oh, and actually, wear that bondage bra of yours with that nice black dress. And some pumps or something.”

You roll your eyes with a heavy sigh, “Like I don’t know how to dress.”

“I just want you to try and look nice for one night.”

You purse your lips to stop a smile tugging at your mouth. You love Hanna even though she can be annoying sometimes, and you know she’s just trying to help you out. Even when you don’t want the assistance.


After showing up at Hanna’s apartment and the two of you driving to the Japanese restaurant, you begrudgingly follow your friend into the building; clutch in your left hand and the other on your hip.

You scan the room and spot Hanna’s boyfriend, Mark, sitting in a booth at the back of the restaurant. He’s alone and you instantly feel relief fill you. “Thank god,” you mumble.

Hanna hears you and gives you a mild glare, “He could be here. You don’t know that.”

The two of you walk over to the booth and slip in across from Mark. You exchange pleasantries, but grow silent to allow Mark and Hanna to talk.

Great, third wheeling, huh? You think in frustration as you scan the menu and drinks list.

You get lost in the menu as you try and read the Japanese characters instead of the English section of the menu. You had taken some Japanese classes back in secondary school, but most of it has been forgotten.

“Sorry I’m late,” you hear a deep voice apologise.

Not looking up from the menu, someone slips into the booth seat across from you. A whiff of musky cologne enters your nostrils and you finally look up to see a broad-shouldered man sitting across from you.

His raven black hair is loosely held back by gel and his brown eyes catch yours; both giving each others once overs briefly. 

You break eye contact almost immediately and turn to Hanna beside you, “So is this him?”

“(Y/N), he can hear you,” she hisses at you.

You roll your eyes and turn back to the man. You go to say something, when Mark cuts in, “(Y/N), this is my best friend, Adam. Adam, this is Hanna’s friend, (Y/N).”

You both nod at each other and smile – though you don’t know how real the smiles actually are.

Hanna strikes up a conversation with Adam when an awkward silence settles over the table until the waiter comes to take your orders.

When you’re all done and the waiter leaves, Adam asks you, “Two shots and a sex on the beach?”

You snort, sitting back against the leather booth seat; arms crossing across under your bust. You notice Adam’s eyes flicker down to your breasts; the dress low cut enough to display the bra Hanna had advised you to wear, but still classy enough to not be deemed ‘slutty’ as some would call it.

“So?” you shoot back, slightly defensive. You’re used to defending yourself and this isn’t any different.

He shrugs lightly, “Isn’t that a bit much?”

“I can handle my alcohol, thank you very much,” you quip, almost bristling. You’re sick of men questioning your decisions; dealt with enough of it over the years.

Hanna sees you grind your teeth and places a hand on your shoulder as she explains to Adam, “I’m so sorry, she’s usually not this much of a bitch; she just broke up with her boyfriend two weeks ago and she’s not taking it well.”

‘Not taking it well?’” you echo, frowning at her.

Hanna gives you a look - the one she gives you when she doesn’t want you to fuck up her night.

Biting your tongue, you huff quietly and look away to survey the restaurant again; watching the other loved-up couples chat quietly and eat. You feel a pang of sadness in your chest, however, it soon morphs into bitterness the longer you watch them.

Eventually, the food arrives and while Hanna and you use the chopsticks provided, both Adam and Mark are forced to use forks. You had quirked a half smile when watching the two of them struggle with the chopsticks before giving in and picking up their forks.

Mark and Hanna keep up a steady flow of conversation with Adam’s input occasionally, but you keep quiet for majority of the night; chucking back the shots and taking your time with the cocktail as the others converse.

When it’s finally time to leave the restaurant, you can’t be any happier. It’s late and the awkward ‘double date’ – if it can even be called that – has been a disaster.

Mark pays the bill and you protest, trying to hand him a fifty dollar note to cover all your food and the drinks. Hanna watches silently as she knew you’d protest. 

“You don’t need to do that,” Adam says as you snatch Mark’s wallet from his hands and shove the note into it. You know he’s too much of a gentleman and always tries to treat women as best he can, but you feel guilty letting any man pay for you.

You grit your teeth as you hand the wallet back, “I did. I don’t like others paying for me; it’s not fair.”

“How’s it not fair?” Adam presses as he strides past you and holds the door open for you and the others. The action irritates you minutely. 

You shake your head, “He’s not my partner – and even if my partner took the bill, how is that equal?”

“But it’s the nice thing to do,” he argues as the four of you walk down the street. Apparently you’ve all parked in the same parking lot nearby – much to your annoyance.

“Let me guess, you pay for all the bills when you’re in a relationship?” you sneer.

Adam gives you a serious look as he replies, “Yes, of course.”

You groan in disgust, quickly getting ahead of Adam and walking backwards so you can face him as you start to argue. You have to look up at his 6”3 frame, which is refreshing as your ex was much shorter – but it doesn’t distract you from the budding argument.

“Don’t tell me; you got together with your girlfriend in junior year, doted on her and bought her nice things all the time – even flowers and chocolate when she was feeling down – because that’s how your mommy raised you. Then, six years down the track, she starts to seem distant and is always working ‘late’ but you quell your doubts and tell yourself that you love her unconditionally and that’s enough for you.” You point at him then, with raised eyebrows and voice, “Then, she comes home one night and decides that she wants to see other people – but, the catch is – she’s been doing that for months already!”

You watch Adam’s expressionless face to see if you’ve hit a nerve. Nothing changes however, as he says calmly, “Actually, it was seven and a half years.”

Your brain stutters for a moment before you spin around to catch up to Hanna. Grabbing the car keys from her hand as the four of you reach the carpark, you speed up your pace to Hanna’s car. You berate yourself internally as you try and put as much distance between yourself and Adam as you can. You can’t believe what you’ve just said and how shitty it makes you feel to know you were correct in your assumption.

When you reach the car, you get into the passenger seat and wait for Hanna like a scolded child. You watch as the three of them stand beside a large silver SUV about 70 feet away; Hanna then hugging Adam. Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip with pressure, you watch Hanna rub his arm and talk to him for a bit. You have a feeling she’s apologising for your behaviour and sink lower into the seat, wishing you had never left the house in the first place.

You continue to check him out from the car however; his large biceps and long legs. Fuck, you think, I seriously fucked that up.

While zoning out, you don’t instantly realise Adam is looking your way. When it clicks however, you blush and turn quickly to look in the other direction, your heart beating a little faster. 

Oh my god, you think to yourself, mortified. I’m an asshole to him, then go back to checking him out! What the hell am I thinking? 

When the driver’s door eventually opens, you don’t look at Hanna, but hand over the car keys.

She doesn’t say anything to you either, as she pulls out of the parking spot and drives you back to her apartment complex. She doesn’t need to however; you already feel shit enough about it all without her input too.

To be continued…


hands jittering, i try to keep them in place
they have a mind of their own,
they move as they please
i ask them to stop,
they never listen, i no longer notice
scratch marks are left on my collarbone
from the last time i was asked to speak when I didn’t want to
my cuticles are ripped and bleeding
from the last time someone looked at me for too long
markings of my nails have been left in my thigh
from the last time i was left waiting somewhere alone
i crack my knuckles whenever i get nervous
and when they’ve had enough popping for one day
my hands just dance in a way that makes people stare
what’s wrong with your hands?, they ask
i could explain to them they have a mind of their own
and that i find comfort in the movement of my hands
they remind me that I am alive, they tell me I am inside my own body
they remind me of the control I sometimes feel like I lack
but, I don’t say anything like that
instead I just fold my hands in my lap,
or force them underneath my thighs
and act as if they weren’t trembling,
as if my fingers weren’t craving for something to pick or scratch
as if they weren’t pleading for a way to get out of these restraints
so they can start moving again

Come Back Home With Me

Imagine being Dean’s girlfriend while he has the Mark of Cain.

You were tired of it, even though you know it’s not totally him and it’s the mark of Cain acting. You actually don’t even recognize him by who he is. You simply see a stranger when you look at him, his green eyes doesn’t show the same love for you.

You helped Sam to search for a cure, but you ended up being in the way of Charlie and Rowena, so you decided to stay with Dean to be sure he didn’t do anything stupid. Though, now you were the one scared, it took a while, but now you are scared to stay with him. You didn’t say anything to Sam, though, because you don’t want him to worry about you. You want him to worry about how to get the Mark of Cain off of his brother.  

“Hey, Dean” you slip your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder “I thought we could go somewhere tonight, we could go eat something together. We’ve been in this bunker for too long without going out”.

“(Y/N)” Dean sighed “don’t you see I’m working on a case? We’ll go eat together another time, this is more important right now”.

You take a step away, braking the embracement and watch as he reads a newspaper and taking notes about it.

“Dean, you should relax” you said, a little scared of the reaction “I mean, you should take some time off, I just want to be with you”.

“Well I don’t care!” Dean shouted getting up “I need to work on this (Y/N), I told you, it’s important”.

You keep the tears inside “but-“

This word was the word that made it too much, this word made Dean go mad.

You don’t have any time to understand what is happening, you are on the ground, a hand to your cheek which stings badly and is going to leave a scar.

“Dean” you cried.

“I told you to leave me alone” he said calmly and sits back down at the table.

You’ve been staring at the wall for too long, not daring to get out of this room. You think about the fact that he is influence by the mark, and it is not him. You focus on the fact that he will be better, one day.

You try to remember how he was before, so gentle, cracking jokes and impatient to watch a horror movie with you, because this is what you like to do.

Now, he just researches again and again on cases. Leaving with Sam and leaving you alone in the bunker.

“(Y/N)” Sam knocks on the door “can I come in?”

“Yeah” you whispered.

He comes in, and the second he sees your bruised cheek, he frowns and sit beside you.

“What happened to you?” He asked worried.

“The mark” you simple answered.

“Dean hit you?” Sam asked, not believing his words.

“No, the mark did. You know better than me that Dean would never hurt me”.

Sam sighs heavily, passing his hands in his hair “you should leave the bunker for a while, the girls almost cracked the Codex. I remember you talked to me about a friend you knew that lives nearby?”

“Yeah, Emily” you nodded “I think it’s for the best. But, Dean is in the main room, he’ll see me leave and I don’t know if he’ll be happy”.

“We’re leaving for a hunt in an hour, you’ll leave there, okay? I’ll tell him that you went to a friend for a couple days, because you miss her”.


A week had passed, you and Emily are besties since high school and she wasn’t asking questions why she was here and where she was for two years. You can’t tell her that you have a boyfriend, hunter, and he has the mark of Cain making him abusive. So you say ‘don’t ask’.

“(Y/N)! Someone is at the door for you” Emily called out.

You let your book on the coffee table and join her, but you freeze.

“Dean?” You choked out.

“(Y/N)” he sighs relieved and gives you a small smile.

You look in his green eyes, the love and sparkle you always loved is there, it is back.


“I’m so sorry” he takes you in his arms, squeezing you and whispers “the mark is gone, I am so sorry about what I did to you. I love you so much. Come back home, with me”.


Another Ride - Chapter 13: Yes

Omg! I just realized I forgot to post this this morning! The title is a total spoiler, but you won’t realize it until the end. ;)

Chapter 12 - Quick reminder: Chapter 12 ended with them at Sharna’s place after going out for dinner, then falling asleep on her couch. They woke up and James went home to change then was going back to pick up Sharna. They decided they weren’t going to keep their relationship a secret anymore. Time check: This is the week 3 live show. 

They were late and everyone else was already too busy getting ready for live show day to notice them arriving together. Sharna felt a bit of relief, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. She had told James just last night that she didn’t care anymore if everyone knew. And she meant it, though she was a little nervous about everyone making a big deal of it all because she didn’t want it to scare James.

“I’m a big boy,” James said when Sharna brought this up during their drive. “I can handle them. I promise. Besides, it’s not going to come as a surprise to anyone. I’m sure it’ll be totally anticlimactic.”

“Well, that’s a little disappointing.”

“You’re complicated.”

Sharna laughed. “I just meant that I’m excited about this. And I want them to be excited, too.”

“Then how about I just grab you and we start making out in the middle of the floor? Will that be exciting enough?”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant,” Sharna joked sarcastically.

They found several couples already out on the floor when they arrived. Some were just watching the dress rehearsals or hanging out. Others were waiting their turn to dance or waiting on their partners who were busy elsewhere.

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Dating Mark Would Be Like...

[first off, thank you for showing so much love on the yugyeom one, y'all are the best]
• him being shy at first in your relationship but don’t worry just give him a few days and he’ll be annoying as hell.

•"mark do you ever shut up?“

•"if you kiss me then I will”

•getting jealous when jackson has mark’s attention most of the time.

•"ugh, why don’t you just fuck him already jackson!“

•"you’re just saying that because you wanna watch it happen!”

•but then him getting jealous over the fact coco spends more time with you than him.

•"you stole coco from me!“

•"no I didn’t mark, coco just loves me more!”

•getting to meet his family literally all the time.

•having his parents love your presence at all times.

•"I’m so happy you and mark are together! He picked the right girl.“

•getting to see uncle mark in action.

•mark and his little nieces is literally so fucking cute you’ll be sobbing.

•literally getting no personal space at the got7 dorm.

•"you guys are so cute together O-M-G GOALS!!”

•"jackson shut up and go suck bambam’s dick or something.“

•you would be hella savage at their dorm tbh.

•him knocking at you door really early to make breakfast, preferably ramen.

•you would tell him you don’t have ramen but he would be okay with it because he brought a spare.

•you would get up to help him at first but he would just let you rest and he would do it.

•"no no! y/n it’s okay, I got this, I want you to rest baby girl.”

•once he’s done he would bring two bowls to your room so you two could eat together.

•lots and lots of kisses, forehead, hand, nose, cheek, neck, lips, just lots and lots of kisses.

•slapping his ass out of nowhere just to see his reaction.

•that one spank turning into an ass spanking war between you two.



•during the first time you both have sex together he would always be gentle and ask if you’re okay.

•but after that he’ll be more comfortable with it and he’ll take more control.

•on some occasions he would get passionate and gentle about it and even call it “making love” instead of “fucking”.

•of course he loved it when he fucked you senselessly but multiple times, he would drop that and just go slow with it to make sure you feel good.

•lots of photos of him with coffee or food when he’s on tour.

•a lot of “I miss you” & “I love you” texts all the time.

•way too long goodbyes at the airport.

•but even longer welcomes when he gets back.

•him scared to meet your family.

•"w-what if you Dad doesn’t like me?? what a-about your brother? Will he like me??!“

•"mark calm down, they have been wanting to meet you in person ever since you said hi to them on skype, they’ll love you.”

•cuddling. cuddling with him would be so lovely.

•just having his arms wrapped around you tightly and his deep voice is so chilling.

•sometimes he would just stare into your eyes and smile before going back to hugging you tightly.

•and this is where you both ask yourself “when did I get this lucky?”

•once he gets really tired he would kiss your forehead before saying goodnight in his deep sleepy voice.

•"sweet dreams baby girl, I love you so much princess.“

hi everyone! once again thank you for showing so much love on my first dating _______ would be like… post. I’m pretty sure this one was longer than the yugyeom one btw. I think it’s because mark is my bias and yes I know it’s confusing because my bias is mark but my user is yugyeom lol. but other than that I think this might be my last post for 2016! so expect a jaebum or jackson one in 2017 or maybe tomorrow! okay I love you all.


You were young, for an Angel anyways. You had been created as a protector- to keep humanity safe. Well, more specifically to keep one particular human safe. 

That human was Dean Winchester. 

You had been told, at a very young age, (still just a child at the time, really) that you were to protect one of the single most important humans on all of Earth. You were told that he was going to grow to do great things, that he was going to be the Righteous Man.

And so, when he was finally born, (and you were still so young) you were sent off into duty. 

But there were some things, you were told, that you could not interfere with. 

You could not interfere as his house went up in flames, his mother plastered to the ceiling. 

You could not interfere when his father sacrificed himself to make sure he lived. 

You could not interfere the night that Sam had died, watching with tears in your eyes as Dean clutched his little brothers lifeless corpse closely to him, screaming his name. 

And you could not interfere when Dean sold his soul to bring him back, nor could you interfere while those hellhounds ripped him apart. 

Then what, you thought, was the point of you?

It pained you to your very core, every fiber of your being screaming for you to fly in and save him. Smite every demon in your path, holding him close and heal his wounds. 

But you couldn’t 

Obviously, though, you were put in charge of his rescue mission. 

You led your team through the darkest depths of hell like a warrior, none fighting quite as hard as you to save him. Your second in command, Castiel the Angel who you trusted more than any other by your side the entire way. 

And finally, when you reached your destination, Angel blade alight with the blood of the hundreds of fallen Demons left in your wake, you froze.

You had never seen a soul so bright. 

You remember the first time you had gotten to meet him- actually meet him- like it was only yesterday. 

He had been guarded at first, wary of any Angels that crossed his path, not having made any particularly good relationships with the ones he had earlier encountered. But he had quickly realized you were different. 

Dean was running, running as fast as his legs would carry. He was out of ammo, without the demon knife, and already injured. There was a pack of about twelve or more Demons hot on his tail, and he was running out of options.

He rounded a corner, realizing he had just reach a dead end. An empty room, with no windows or doors- not even something for him to grab and swing at them. 

Hearing the sound of approaching footsteps behind him, he spun around to see over a dozen Demons approaching triumphantly. 

The main Demon chuckled. 

“Would you look at this.” he said, smirking over his shoulder at his underlings. “tsk, tsk, tsk, Dean-o. I thought you were supposed to be some sort of legend. I really thought this would be more interesting. What a disappointment.” He shook his head condescendingly, grinning sinisterly. 

“At least it’ll be fun tearing out your insides.” He added, and Dean swallowed, stumbling back, desperately searching for a way to defend himself. 

The Demon began to approach him, smirking as he pulled a knife from his belt. 

This was it. There was nothing Dean could do- but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to go down swinging. 

Just as Dean was about to put up the fight of his life, someone appeared in front of him, blocking the demons path. 

“You will not harm Dean Winchester.” The woman said, squaring her shoulders and dropping her angel blade from the sleeve of her leather jacket. 

The demon stopped in his tracks, glaring at her. 

“Oh yeah?” He asked, before noticing the glinting weapon in her hand. His eyes widened. “Dammit.” He grumbled, beginning to step back behind his minions. “Kill her!” He commanded, too afraid to fight himself. 

The Demons charged foreword, not knowing what they were walking into. You raised your arms, smiting over half of them with amazing speed. They fell to the ground, eyes sizzling in their empty sockets. 

The others stared, terrified, but followed their orders nonetheless. You fought more manually this time- Punching one demon in the face before plunging your blade through his throat. 

Another approached you from behind, and you elbowed him in the nose, wrapping your arms around his neck in a headlock. Another approached you from your front, and with your arms still locked around your previous attackers neck, you bent your knees, jumping into the air and wrapping your legs around his neck. In one swift motion you spun through the air, twisting them with you and sending them tumbling to the ground. 

Deans eyes widened, watching in awe as you tore through the herd of Demons. 

“What the hell?” He mumbled, and just as you tore your knife from the most recent Demons chest, you turned, watching as their leader glanced around in fear, stumbling backwards, trying to escape. 

He spun around, only to come face to face with the one person he was trying to escape. 

“Running will not save you.” You said, and a second later, the Demon was sputtering blood, a knife plunged into his stomach. 

You wiped the blood off your blade, putting it away and glancing up to Dean.

“Hello, Dean Winchester.” You said, and unable to contain yourself any longer, you grinned widely, giggling. “I’ve always wanted to say that.” You said, and he frowned at you, confused.

“Who… Who are you?” He asked, and you smiled softly at him, walking forward. 

“My name is Y/N.” You said. “I am your guardian Angel.” you finished, and Deans eyes widened. “I’m sorry- you’re my what?” He sputtered, and you smiled, ducking your head. 

“I’m your guardian angel.” You repeated, and he still looked lost. You sighed. “I’m also the one who…” You stepped foreword, raising your arm, and he flinched back. 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” You assured, staring into his eyes. Dean swallowed nervously, before nodding, watching the movements of your hand.

You rested it soothingly on his shoulder, right where you knew the mark would be. Deans eyes widened, and he turned to you. 

“You were the one who pulled my out of hell?” He asked, and you smiled, nodding. 

“I have been protecting you for a very long time, Dean.”

That had been four years ago, and you had been dating Dean for the past two. 

Dean would never admit it, but the second you placed your hand on him that night, he had felt electricity shoot through his body, and in some way, he knew you were connected to him in some way.

And with that in mind, looking past the fact that you were an Angel, he began to realize that you were not like the others. You were kinder, more understanding and caring. You were somehow more… Human than them. 

But it was in this moment that Dean realized however humanely you acted, you were not a human. Well, you hadn’t been before, at least.

But frankly, he didn’t mind one bit. 

Dean couldn’t contain his laughter, he had walked into the kitchen to see not only a complete mess, but you, standing in the middle of it with your arms crossed and a pout on your lips. 

You had inevitably been trying to make some sort of food- what kind? He had no idea, but that was probably because he was too busy laughing.

You had lost your grace about a month ago, practically carving it out with a butter knife, all because you had received orders to kill Dean. They had informed you that he was no longer of use, and that he was becoming more trouble than he was worth. They had told you that you were to follow these orders or be put to death. 

You had only one choice. You had to protect him. 

When you had fallen, Castiel had been the first to find you. He had carried you to the Winchesters- and Dean swears his heart nearly stopped when he opened the door to see you, limp, bloody and broken in the arms of Castiel. 

But you were getting better now. Your physical wounds were healing, but you were going to take much longer to get used to the fact that you were now, wholly, undeniably human

“What?” You asked, glaring at him. Dean only continued to laugh at your perpetually disheveled state, shaking his head. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry it’s just- what were you trying to do?” He asked, and you pouted slightly, glancing away from him. 

“I was…” You trailed off inaudibly, and he raised his eyebrows at you, unable to hear. 

“I’m sorry what?” He asked, and you sighed. 

“I was trying…” You trailed off, mumbling again. 

“What was that-?”

“I was trying to make a sandwich!” You exclaimed finally, embarrassed. Deans eyes widened in understanding, and he began to laugh again, glancing at the mess along the counter. 

“That’s it? How did you manage to mess it up so bad then?” He laughed, and you rolled your eyes, corners of your lips beginning to turn up. 

“And is that… Is that chocolate?” He asked, confused. “Why the hell would you put chocolate in a sandwich?” He asked, and your eyes widened, mouth opening into an ‘o’ shape. 

“So thats what that was…” You mumbled, and he shook his head at you, pulling you into his chest. 

“You’re adorable, you know that? You’re so clueless- like a baby. It’s adorable.” He said, and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“I’m not that clueless.” You argued, and Dean raised his eyebrows at you, chuckling. 

“Oh yeah?” He challenged. “Because you just tried to put chocolate, mayonnaise, and bologna all in the same meal.” He said, and you pouted at him. An idea dawned on you suddenly, and you smirked, grabbing the lapels of his jacket. 

“Could someone so completely clueless do… this?” You asked, pulling his lips down to yours and kissing him passionately. 

You pulled back, grinning at his state of disheveledness- his lips were plump from your kissing, his cheeks tinged with pink, his eyes lightly shut, relishing in the feeling of you. 

“Well…” He began, slightly star struck. “You are pretty damn good at that” he said, before opening his eyes. “But I think I’m going to have to try one more time, just to be sure.” He said cheekily, and you laughed, shaking you head. 

Dean Winchester was going to be the death of you. 

Requested by: lachicadelamanzana

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Mayday ➳


Member: Mark Tuan

A/N: INSPIRED BY Got7′s “MAYDAY” written by Jinyoung. 

                               I want you to find me and save me. 

I stared down at the rippling waters, my reflection staring right back at me. A woman, her hair just cut above the curve of her chest, her eyes swollen with hot tears running down her face. 

I had always known that a meet up with my family would only lead to a very negative effect, and yet here I was. Millions of words and voices rang throughout my head, almost making nostalgic, a suffocating presence about, the pain increasingly disturbing in my chest as I breathed heavily and shakily. 

I watched my hands tremble, trying to stop it, but to no prevail, letting out a scream of frustration at this. I hit my chest roughly, the pain almost unbearable as the voices, sobbing as I whimpered, ‘Please stop … Please stop!’ 

“Your worthless, your no daughter of mine.”

A sob left my lips heartily as the words rang out, making squeeze my eyes shut, shaking my head around and hitting it roughly as I screamed, ‘SHUT UP! JUST STOP!’

“Your a disgrace to our family, to be honest you were nothing but a mistake.”

I screamed, my throat raw and hoarse as I pulled at my hair painfully, to the point that with one more tug, I could have ripped them right from the roots. My mouth was open in a silent scream now, unable to inhabit any type of sound that could represent the pain that resided in me. 

I turned my eyes back towards the water, a pool of serenity, of peace, of freedom right before my eyes. Anything that would lead to the gentleness I saw in the pool was right in front of me, a world where I could just be free and be who I could be without ones hate. I stripped my coat, stepping up onto the ledge quickly. 

I stared down at the water, the light hitting it perfectly and rippling upon the silhouette of my being. I smiled lightly before letting myself fall into the deepest pool, the splash deafening the ringtone of my boyfriend’s number roared throughout the empty centre.

Mark sighed as he heard his girlfriend’s voicemail play, cutting off without a moments notice. He and the boys had been waiting for some time for Y/N to return from her visit with her family to go out together for dinner. The whole band had been close to her for a very long time as she had worked at JYP Entertainment, and how Y/N had met Mark in the first place. 

‘Hey Mark, where is Y/N? She’s taking forever, the boys and I are STARVING!’ Jackson whined as he walked from the rest of the boys over to his Hyung who now stared out the window, a worried expression ridden his face. He looked towards him, sighing, ‘I have no idea … She said she would be back early-’ 

He was cut off by the bursting of his ringtone, shocking him before he answered it, ‘Y/N?’

‘No, wrong person,’ Mark sighed in discontent as he registered it as her older sister’s voice, ‘Sorry about that, have you seen Y/N around recently? I’m trying to get through to her but she won’t answer …’ 

‘Thats the thing … I wanted to warn you that we had a massive fight with the parents today, and there was some pretty nasty stuff that had been said. I just wanted to tell you before she got back from her journey home, you know how she can get in these cases. She overreacts.’

Mark’s mouth was agape at this as it hit him like a ton of bricks, of how many times Y/N had warned him about her family’s manipulative ways and how much it had damaged her throughout her whole entire life, but hadn’t explained to how much of an extent it had on her. He cut the call instantly as he remembered what had occurred earlier that morning.  

‘But Mark I don’t want to go!’ I said as he pulled out a dress, a simple blue one from the closet for me to wear for todays family event, smiling as he did. 

‘Oh come! Its been ten years since you last saw them Y/N, they may have changed!’ Mark said with a smile as he placed the dress beside me on the bed, my eyes instantly moving to look away from his in dismay, ‘Please Mark, I can’t do this … After all thats happened and how much it killed me inside to be in their presence, I-I don’t think I can do it …’

‘Hey look at me,’ He said as he got on his knees in front of me, making me sigh and look into his eyes, ‘They may have degraded you all those years ago, but you have proved them wrong on so many levels. You are stronger than you think you are.’ 

‘I wish I felt that way ..’ I said softly, pouting as he just chuckled, ‘Trust me, I see it. And I am so proud of you.’ I looked up at this as he smiled, caressing my cheek, ‘Just this once is all I ask.’ 

I sighed, giving him a smile and a nod as he also returned it, pulling me down into his arms and holding me tightly, but as he looked over my shoulder I frowned, only praying that I was strong enough for this. 

‘Fuck what have I done …’ He whispered under his breath. 

Mark ran in the dead of night. He never knew he could run this fast before in his life, but he did. He ran, pushing and shoving past people, ignoring as they cursed at him and not caring if they recognised him or not, the boys screaming after him and running to keep up with him.

He ran up the slope hills towards a large building, pushing the glass doors out of his way and sprinted towards the ends of the pools, the boys trailing along behind. 

Mark ran through the lanes of pools, searching hastily alongside the boys in the waters for a sign of a body, his eyes roaming everywhere and almost nowhere all at once. Suddenly Bam Bam cried out in horror, Mark looking to where he was to see a black coat in his hands, a very familiar one too. 

Instantly his eyes drifted towards the deeper ends of the pool they were closest to, and sure enough, a body caught his eye near the bottom of the pool, face down and floating almost dead like. 

‘Y/N!’ He screamed out, before throwing his own coat off and jumping into the pools without another moments thought, ignoring as his body screamed as the coldness enveloped him.

It almost as if I was in some kind of void, the water wrapping me in its beautiful arms, the silence drumming against my ears like a soothing lullaby. I allowed my eyes to open slowly and watch as the lights twinkled above me a million dazzling stars. I found myself smiling almost, my sight becoming dazed and almost dream like as I stared up into the bright lights. 

It was as if I could see all my memories like a broken movie, when I first met the boys and Mark when arriving at JYP, when Mark was forced into asking me out on a date by Jackson and Jinyoung. When we had our first kiss and held hands for the first time, when I had my first time with him, when he confessed that he had fallen in love with me and didn’t want to let me go.

I began to feel my body become heavier and heavier as time went by, sight almost rippling and the light now blinding me more than ever. And I knew that my body was giving into the fight that I knew I could never win. The only solution would lead to the only possible option, death. I was so consumed in my deafening thoughts that I didn’t take in the crying out of my name or the splashing of water. 

It was only when my arm was gripped and I felt myself being pulled towards the surface is when I began to snap out of it. I felt two arms wrap around me tightly, the beating and movement of water drumming on my ears. I gasped heartily as we broke the surface, chlorine water spilling from my lips, gasps of relief echoing throughout the pool from others who I could not recognise. 

‘Baby?! Y/N?!’ I turned to face Mark, now drenched. His clothes sticking to his skin and his hair mat also stuck to his face, his eyes wide and full of pain as he stared into my own, pushing my hair out of my eyes and face to look at me properly. ‘Are you okay? Oh my God! Just breathe, please just breathe!’ 

He said as he cradled my head, leaning it against his shoulder as he pulled me into his embrace, holding me tightly like as if I would disappear if he didn’t do so. Suddenly it hit me as he pulled away to look into my eyes. 

I would’ve lost him. Mark Tuan. The man who somehow had come into my life and brightened it to the fullest. He had picked me up and made me whole, had accepted me for the woman I had taught myself to be. If there was anything in this world that I needed, it was him. 

I sobbed softly as I raised my shaking hands to his face, ‘Mark I-I-I’m so sorry! I-’ The tears plummeted down my face as I held his face gently, but he shook his head instantly kissing the palm of my hand before pulling me into his embrace, ‘Its okay baby, its okay. I’m here …’ I cried into his neck as he placed kisses to the top of my head, allowing me to grip his shirt as let the warmth of his body seep into mine, bringing me back into the moment of reality. 

I sat on the bed, wrapped in three towels as well as a robe. The boys had helped Mark and I out of a pool, an ambulance also on sight thanks to Jaebum who had called during all the hustle. They had taken us both back to the dorms, suggesting that it would be good for them to be around me and help me through the next couple of days as the doctor said he didn’t want to risk me being alone until he could provide a full check up. 

I looked up as the bedroom door opened to find Mark entering, shutting the door right behind him. Jackson had hailed that he would sleep in the lounge to give us some space. He silently walked over, sitting beside me as he passed over a hot mug of tea. I gave him a very small smile in return as he just watched on, allowing us to sit in the silence as I drank my tea, and gave me the opportunity to speak. 

‘I’ve had depression for a very long time … since I was younger. I had handled it, and I didn’t label myself as depressed otherwise it would be a trigger. I was fine until today … My family I guess, they became one of my triggers, and a really bad one too,’ I said softly, staring at the opposite wall ahead of us. I didn’t know how Mark was going to take this, or if he would even stay with me after todays events, but either way I needed to tell him the truth. 

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I looked up at Mark at this as he stared down at me sadly, taking my hand into his. The tears welled at this as I just shook my head, ‘I didn’t-I didn’t want you to leave like everyone else had.’ 

His eyes widened at this as I just sobbed softly. ‘You don’t know what its like, to feel like your such a worthless piece of shit to the point where you don’t even who you are anymore. You don’t know where you belong, or who you can trust or who actually loves and respects you. I mean who wants to be with someone as damaged as me. All my life its been rejection. And I didn’t know if I could handle that again by losing you.’ I said as I turned to him, my tears falling fast. 

Mark just shook his head, taking my face into his hands, shaking me slightly, gazing down at me with a hard, serious expression. ‘I’m going to be right here with you, I promise you. I’m not going anywhere.’ 

‘But … I’m damaged goods, you don’t deserve someone like me …’ I said softly as he just chuckled shaking his head yet again, ‘I love you for who you are and for whats in your heart. We all are damaged goods, thats why we all end up finding someone who will be able to keep us as one. I promise to stand by you and protect you in all ways enabled to me, and I promise to love you unconditionally with all my heart. To hold you when needed and to be by your side always.’ He pulled me in and kissed my head, holding me tightly as he rubbed my arms. 

‘Your beautiful in every possible way. Inside and out … and you need to be told that all the time …’ he spoke these words as he kissed the crook of my neck, making me gasp, tears falling down my face slowly.

He placed his forehead against mine slowly, his nose grazing against my own gently as he stared into my eyes, caressing my cheeks gently before kissing me softly. I shut my eyes tightly as the tears fell and let my hand run through his hair and the other on his torso as he cupped my face in his hands before slipping them behind my neck. Finally we both pulled away, gasping slightly as I stared at up him, teary eyed as he wiped away from my cheeks and smiled, ‘I love you Y/N.’

Those words sent a chill up my spine, I smiled brokenly at him before slowly letting myself into fall his embrace as he wrapped his arms around me tightly, one of his hands running through my hair, tucking my face into his neck as I cried softly.

Fast Forward - 10 months later

The melody of rain hitting the windows awoke me from my sleep, light pooling into the room as I opened your eyes to meet the beautiful clouded view of the city. I groaned slightly, only to realise that a hand was running through my hair already, threading it through their fingers. I smiled gently before looking up to see Mark with a smile as he looked down at me. ‘Morning …’

‘Good morning beautiful …’ He replies in his deep morning voice, leaving a brief kiss to my lips before looking out the window again. ‘What are you thinking about?’ I say softly, watching him curiously, as he just rubs my back gently. ‘The future. When we get married, and when we start our own family.’ 

‘What about it?’ I say softly as he takes my hand into his, kissing it gently, ‘Just how much I can’t wait to start my family with you. And how much I want to have a daughter just like you. So when I look down into her eyes and feel my heart break, its because she will remind me so much of her beautiful, strong mother.’ 

I groan at this before looking up at him with my eyebrow raised, ‘What if we have a boy?’ He just smirks. ‘Then we’ll try again and again, and again until we do!’ 

I laugh at this, my lips in a wide toothy smile as I look up at him in content at his words. He smiles at this too, pulling me close to him with a chuckle, squeezing my frame towards his own as I nuzzle my face into his neck, ‘There, thats the beautiful laugh that I’ve missed.’ 

His chest heaves as he holds me securely, and then he speaks hesitantly, ‘How are you baby? Feeling less of the weight … that darkness?’ At this a flash of the last few months came before me. The weeks that followed my attempted suicide were long and hard. Mark and the boys would take me out and do everything in their power to make me smile. Visiting every month to a counsellor alongside Mark who would be there for support. Now in California, in this beautiful apartment for our holiday while we both were on break and got to just be with each other. 

I smiled against his skin gently, drawing circles just above his collarbone, ‘Yes. I’m feeling more .. like me. And I feel like yours again,’ I looked up quickly at him, turning his face to face me. He smiles at this, allowing me to place a kiss to his lips gently, caressing my cheek before we both settled back into place as I just whispered, ‘I’m happy to be me again.’

Please be respectful of anyone with anxiety or depression or even both, and look after them just like you would for anyone in your life who was endangering themselves to harm or abuse in anyway. I am writing this from personal experiences (not the story but the primary basis of how it feels) and know how it feels to be in a position of loneliness and worthlessness. If you need to talk to someone please message me or speak to an adult or someone you trust, better late than never.

I’m Yours, Ya Goof

From the outside, the place probably looked daunting to some people. The outside was covered in street art, which is probably why senior citizens eyed it wearily if they happened to walk past it. Hand-in-hand with Calum, I came to halt on the sidewalk and stared at the tattoo shop. Calum stumbled backwards towards me, still holding onto my hand. On the inside, it was much better than what the outside gave it credit for—I was certain because I got both of my tattoos there.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Calum asked.

At first, I didn’t answer. As I continued looking at the tattoo shop, a smirk flashed across my face. I bit my lap and thought of what I wanted. Calum looked ahead and noticed what I had rested my gaze on. I still hadn’t spoken a word, so I knew Calum was growing impatient.

Keep reading

It’s two am in the morning and I’m wide awake.
And I’m tapping to the keyboard my life away.
I guess it was the caffeine or the chocolates I ate.
But I know I would be lying. I know I would be denying.
Tonight, it isn’t the coffee nor the sweets.
It was you. Yes, it’s you. Fuck you.
I’m afraid that this would happen. I’ve always been afraid.
That there comes the night that you would be bugging my mind.
And that time I dreaded long enough has come.
And I know, for sure, I lost. I’m lost.
I’ll be lost until I break. Until I get hurt.
Until the pain etches it’s mark in my mind.
I can’t have you looking at me, the way I look at you.
I can’t have you staring while I walk by.
I can’t have you getting curious about how I feel for you.
Not now. Not when I’m trying to forget about you.
Not when I’m getting over this silly infatuation.
I don’t want to. I can’t fall in love with you.
Don’t make me feel like this. It’s not worth the risk.
I’ve stopped staring at you. Even the urge is too strong.
I’ve stopped saying your name. Even I like how your name rolls off my tongue.
I’ve stopped looking for you. In the sea of faces in the crowd.
Even If you were the  reasons of the poems I wrote.
Of the phrases I quote. Of the stories inked in my dog eared journals.
In the pieces of papers, in the scattered tissues, everywhere.
I have to stop. I got to stop this feelings growing. Lurking, waiting to burst.
Waiting for you.  
Because if not, I’ll fall. I’ll fall hard in the kitchen floor.
And I assume you won’t be able to catch me.
Because somehow, you’ll see all the secrets. All my demons.
All flaws, all my imperfections, all my scars.
And you’ll just leave me hanging like they do.
Leave me in the middle of a page, being the book always left  half unread.
Like always. Like every single time.
And I don’t want that. Not again.
Because I’m afraid I’ll lose every love I have for myself.
Because I’m not the girl  worth fighting for.
I’m as swift as the coursing waters.
I have the force of a great typhoon.
With the strength of the raging fire.
As mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
Do you want a girl who’s man enough?
Do you?

And now, it’s three am in the morning. And I lie in the bed, eyes closed, I pray to God
Mumbling my wishes, dreams and hopes as I hear my heartbeat racing.
My breath hitching. The clock ticking, the wind passing by.
And before sleep shuts me down.
I admit.
I like you. Heck, I love you. I think I really do

—  from my dog-eared journal about you
That one bench press post

It’s normal, a normal day with a normal person known as Matt Holt at the gym in the garrison. To him, adding the additional leisure gym was an all around bad idea. It was helpful to keep himself in shape, but Matt Holt was anything but out of shape, it was just one small factor that got in the way quite frequently, he was gay as f u c k.
The equipment was in a good quality and it was open for 24 hours, and had a bigger range of sports for pleasure. It was expected that as soon as it opened cadets would be pouring in to get more physical training or just some time to enjoy the sports that they don’t get to play much. So Matt had naturally wanted to try out the new running machinery. But he had no idea how stupid he was to not mentally prepare himself, because a gay in an all-male division of a gym with l o t s of muscles and l o t s of attractive people does not mix without an outcome that would probably get him into trouble. So, not even making it to the equipment he sees a GREEK GOD™.
God is real. God is good. But God does not have good timing, God wants to kill Matt with his cause of death being sending Apollo to run on a treadmill in all his toned glory and give him a heart attack. He does not know where to start. First of g o d d a m n those legs. The man has LEGGINGS that cut off just after the knee so Matt can appreciate those gorgeous (and he means gorgeous) calves. He wanted to praise the holy sight. Jesus Christ. This man has thighs for d a y s. He bets they are comfortable enough to rest his head on, to sit on, to-ok we are going too far, get yourself together Holt. He wants the man to strangle him with his thighs. (Matt Holt is not kinky, he just- you get it.) his chest, that chest should be ILLEGAL because Matt feels warm to just look at it even if it is under a shirt that is too tight why is he wearing, ok. And holy fuck. H o l y f u c k. God decided to tell Apollo to double arm day. God. Damn. The last of his concerns is that one is a prosthetic, because why have two when you an have an arm that could make someone faint. That someone being a very, very flustered Matt.
His face is just heaven sent, with a jawline that could c u t and cheekbones that are perfect and warm, inviting hazel eyes that are just so beautiful and-
o h.
And staring right at him.
If Matt wasn’t red already, he was sure of it now as the man winked as he slowed down and got off the treadmill to go do bench presses. He knows Matt has been suffering, and he’s using it against him, the little fucker.
The entire time Matt uses the vast selection of running equipment he stares at that gorgeous person currently working just a little too slowly and suggestively than normal, just to frustrate Matt even further. Even when he reads his textbooks whilst going on the treadmill, (a habit he always seemed to have) he sneaks a few glances under his over sized reading glasses and bangs.
Matt Holt was never a smooth talker. Sure, he dirty talks and sound flirtatious when he wants to be, but in a situation like this, he’s a stuttering mess. So that’s why he is completely unprepared when hot Greek god guy™ walks his way and stops in front of where he is taking a break on a bench at the side of the oversized gym. Realizing that he is yet to even breathe, he decides first impressions are everything so he wants to look good in front of this hot stranger and he thinks he does well, but he only manages a sharp inhale and a squeak before trying to bury his embarrassment by hiding his face and, forgetting he was still wearing his reading glasses, presses them harder into the bridge of his nose and leaves a faint red mark. He dared to look up and blushes furiously at the realization that the stranger watched the whole ordeal with his full attention and amusement in his eyes.
It just occurred to Matt that maybe this stranger was disturbed by how obviously Matt has been staring at him for a very long time, and perhaps he hated Matt now, he’ll never have a shot, maybe he’s already in a relationship oh god, he’ll call Matt a creep and-

“uh.. Before you say anything I swear I’m not a creep. Well at least I know I’m not a few people have called me that before but I- ugh I mean that you..um..you..”

“Ah.. Um I’m takashi shirogane, or Shiro.” ‘Shiro’ coughed and looked away, and Matt must have been imagining the faint red to his Cheeks.

“Just fucking bench press me" Matt breathed, not thinking.

W h a t.

“What,” Shiro said, trailing off.


“NO! Uh…no. It’s ok, I mean what you said, if you really meant it, I would say you’re cute yourself.”

Oh my god. Hot stranger thinks he’s cute. Shiro thinks he’s cute. Takashi thinks he’s cute.

“Thanks, kashi!” He said, still on a high of being complimented by Takashi fucking shirogane.


“..kashi?” Shiro said, an amused lilt to his voice

“Do you not like it?”

“I like it, actually. I never got your name?” It sounded like a question, a clear social clue Matt congratulated himself on smoothly following.
“Matt Holt. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Matt Holt.”

After only coming to check out the new leisure centre, he came out with a new phone number in his contacts, rosy cheeks and the dumbest, silliest and biggest smile in the world.

anonymous asked:

How canon do you consider Drowley? And do you consider it all subtext or do you think there's anything that could be considered maintext about it being a thing that happened? I've seen some posts elsewhere implying that people who didn't see Destiel did see Drowley and it has me curious about how the GA views it.

Hi there! I saw this ask the other day, and I finally got over my internal cringing and have had enough coffee to answer it… :D

@elizabethrobertajones has A LOT of crack in her “worst ship on the show” tag, but there’s also a lot of serious meta in there. (I know I’m always pointing people toward lizbob for answers, but that’s because I can reliably find her tags for stuff…)

I think (and I haven’t specifically asked Mr. Mittens about this, because it veers too close to interfering with my destiel experiment with him) the GA may likely see it as having been played for a laugh, at least at first.

I think even the absolute most casual “i watch an episode now and again” kind of viewer will at least get that Crowley is portrayed largely as using sex and seduction to achieve his ends. He’s a demon, and was King of the Crossroads before he was ever King of Hell. His Best Thing has always been closing the deal (a deal that’s sealed with a kiss), and convincing someone to deal away their SOUL inherently involves a level of seduction, no? At least it’s FREQUENTLY been portrayed that was on Supernatural.

Remember 10.07? Demons using women to literally seduce men via dating apps, then getting them to sell their souls for A SINGLE NIGHT in the woman’s bed? WOW. OKAY. Talk about a sexual encounter that leaves you feeling empty afterward. Granted, that was not a Crowley-approved scheme, that happened during his “days of pining” after Dean was cured of being a demon.

Yes, it was Crowley in the end who returned Dean to Sam to be cured, who took the First Blade AWAY from Dean, then stole another angel’s grace to recharge Cas so he could help cure Dean. Because he KNEW Cas could help cure Dean, even if Crowley himself couldn’t.

But Crowley’s pretty much responsible for Dean taking on the Mark in the first place, and he’s the one who knew Dean would rise again as a demon after he was killed. Why would he turn around three episodes later and want him CURED?

He said it was because Dean was “out of control,” and his efforts to “take care of Dean” and convince him to come rule Hell together with him had sort of failed. They’d spent weeks together “howling at the moon,” filling their Flickr albums with incredible things they did with triplets. It seemed to me that while Dean seemed to be having fun, he was still a demon and didn’t have the same kind of emotional attachment that Crowley developed toward him.

Like Cas said in 10.03 about Dean not having any feelings as a demon, it’s probably easier that way, because while he can’t feel the good stuff (like love), he also can’t be hurt by the bad (like heartbreak). But Crowley seems to have done so, HE seems to me to be the one who let his newly rediscovered (since 8.23) humanity and need to be loved consume him for a while, and unfortunately for him, he settled his sights on Dean…

Once Dean was cured, Crowley spent most of the rest of the season LOSING HIS GRIP ON HELL because he was too busy pining over Dean to really care. He was sitting on his throne staring longingly at pictures of fun stuff they did together. His pining was so OTT that MULTIPLE OTHER DEMONS either offered to fill Dean’s role as his drinking buddy, or made fun of him for his continued attachment to Dean. They began questioning his ability to lead BASED ON HOW HARD HE WAS PINING FOR DEAN. One demon POURED HOLY OIL ALL OVER HIMSELF AND LIT HIMSELF ON FIRE IN PROTEST OVER THIS.

It may have started out, as Lizbob said in one post, as a game of gay chicken in the writer’s room, but other than having nearly become human in 8.23, the whole Drowley thing had the biggest effect on Crowley as a character in the last four seasons. And he’s STILL a little bitter about it all, and brings it up to Dean on the regular. Even in 11.23. It used to get a WTF paranoid glance from Dean, but now Dean’s completely over it. He doesn’t even react anymore.

At first, Dean was “embarrassed” about what he’d done with Crowley. He said that exact word to Sam back in s10 when he was still fighting the influence of the Mark of Cain, but as he’s worked through his own internal issues (again pointing at 10.11 for an explanation of how the external mirrors the internal in this specific context of light vs dark), and eventually was able to reunite those broken halves of Chuck and Amara, he’s finally accepted those parts of himself, too. He’s not “embarrassed” anymore. He accepts it and has moved on.

I think part of Crowley’s “Uncle Crowley” relationship with young Amara was written specifically to CONTRAST how different his relationship with Dean really was. He wasn’t trying to be “Uncle Crowley” or a parental figure to Dean. We know what Parent Crowley looks like, and it looks NOTHING like how he behaved with Dean.

Beginning in 10.01, we only saw the downfall of his relationship with Crowley, after six weeks of howling at the moon. We saw the relationship beginning to break down and fall apart. But we’ve ALL see this:

And seen Crowley staring heartbroken at his phone. They’d been having a good time for a while, until it all went sour.

So while it was likely EMOTIONALLY more significant for Crowley, and seems to have left him with some baggage he’s likely still working through, I think for Dean he’s moved well past it. He did, granted, have the excuse of the Mark of Cain and being a demon at the time, but I think he’s finally accepted the things he did as a demon were still things he did, and he’s long past being embarrassed about them. He’s just not pining away for Crowley like Crowley is for him. Dean’s busy pining for something else.

And since we got the s10/s11 Crowley-as-lover vs Crowley-as-parent compare/contrast lines, I think we’re going to see a similar parallel run in s12 regarding all the open-ended “who do you love?” themes from s11. Dean had to finish repairing that rift within himself (symbolized by finding another way to heal the rift between Chuck and Amara) before he could really begin seriously considering it.

So, yeah. That’s what I think about Drowley. Worst ship on the show. But it did kinda act like a narrative crowbar to start prying off Dean’s “Performing Dean” Mask. In a lot of ways *shudders* we have to thank it for helping Dean get over himself a little bit *cringes* because I’d rather have him go through all that regret/humiliation/negative baggage stuff over CROWLEY than over CAS, you know?

Yeah. Worst ship.