If all this is happening now, does that mean an anti pop up is coming sooner than October?
I just gave my overly rambly/ too long thoughts on a similar anon ask- personally, I can’t see us waiting 3 months for whatever has been hinted at in very, very recent times.
(To me) it feels like it would go on too long, would drop (and lose all the current momentum we have now) and be picked up closer to Halloween, or something will happen sooner than October ever arrives.
I'm just so happy that throughout the pain of waiting for stydia to become canon, we now don't have to deal with a random fight that writers usually put in for drama in a tv series. The amount of times that ships are put together too early and then the writers don't really know what to do so they make them fight to spice things up frustrates me. I'm so happy this didn't happen because stydia wouldn't have a huge fight over something small after all they've been through, (obvs still banter tho)
Okay that’s SO TRUE. I really love the fact that we don’t have to see them breaking up and getting back together again. The reason would have been either incredibly contrived, enormously ridiculous, or reflected badly on the characters in a way that would damage the way we saw them. This was MUCH better for my poor shipper heart.
I’ve wanted to talk for So Long about the portrayal of anxiety in YOI but I’ve been having so much trouble putting together what I want to say in the most effective manner. I kept trying to come at this in a more analytical fashion, but considering that this is such a personally important topic to me, I’m going to try a more emotional approach. Something I don’t normally do.
So really, to start off, I wanna say that I’m so damn thankful for the way Yuuri is written. Really, seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had the ability to relate more to character; Yuuri is close to a mirror of my own experiences with anxiety and it’s so fantastic to have a model of development and growth for me and people like me. I found the portrayal to be frighteningly accurate, from types of thoughts, behaviors, mannerisms…
I think the episode that stood out to me the most in terms of Yuuri’s anxiety was ep7, aka Yuuri’s on-screen panic attack episode.
The first thing I noticed was this:
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in that exact position. I bounce my legs when I panic, just like Yuuri is doing here. Head in his hands, breathing heavily, bouncing and jostling limbs. This isn’t the Mary-Sue cutesy portrayal of anxiety–this is a real anxiety disorder. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. It can’t be fixed with a single word or a touch or a person. Quite frankly, it’s ugly and you lose control of your body.
This is the first half of a Zimbits soulmate AU, where you can feel the pull of your soulmate like a compass. This is a first draft, so no corrections have been made so far. I just wanted to throw it out there. There will be a second and final part to this- and I’ll do my best to write it soon.
Dear Mama and Coach,
I’m sorry to leave with only a note, but this is something I have to do. I left for my pilgrimage. I know I’m way too young, but I couldn’t wait. … I think my soulmate is dying. I felt the pull stop for a full minute. It never happened before. I can’t wait another four years before seeking them! I hope you understand.
Also, I didn’t tell y’all because… I think my soulmate may be a man.
I hope you’re not too mad at me. I’ll call.
I love you both,
North. The pull had always pointed North. Sometimes, when Eric changed cities, he tried to triangulate the feel, but there was never enough difference in what he felt to pinpoint a precise location on a map. His soulmate could be in any of the states above Georgia, or- well, they could live further North. He wondered what would be worse for his parents, that his soulmate was a man, or that he was a Yankee.
He’d stressed about it for years but, now that he was stuck on a bus for who knew how long, he couldn’t stop worrying. He fidgeted with the cheap pilgrimage kit he’d bought at Atlanta. A map of the United States, a plastic ruler, a tiny pencil and a miserable looking compass that didn’t seem to point in the same direction if he shook it a bit. It was all he could afford, since the bus ticket from Madison to Atlanta, then Atlanta to… wherever, took most of his “borrowed” money.
That was another thing. His parents would be so mad when they noticed he took from his savings account. That money was supposed to go to his skating class- or more recently, his hockey equipment.
Maybe he could have asked. Maybe they’d understood, and offered more, and Coach would have lent him his own brass compass, the one inherited from his own father, the one he used to follow the pull until he found his own soulmate. Maybe his mother would have kissed him on the forehead and maybe she’d have offered to ride with him wherever the pull led him- North, North, always North…
But maybe not.
It wasn’t something Eric wanted to risk. The steadiness of the pull had stopped, for just a minute, maybe more, but that was enough to change Eric’s own life. He had someone, somewhere, whose soul was compatible with his- who was maybe a lover, a friend- and that someone’s life had blinked.
He held back his nervous tears, fidgeted with the compass once more.
The show is — a bit weirdly — playing Sansa and Jon’s scenes as if they’re a romantic couple waiting to happen. (People keep doubting me on this, but seriously, compare their scenes to the way the season two scenes between Talisa and Robb were shot.)
A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO
The motel door opens quietly and you hear Dean shuffle in, his footsteps easy to recognize. You don’t move, body too exhausted to even roll over in bed and say hi.
Sam has to know that Dean comes to your room every night now. Actually, Dean just goes straight in with you now more often than not, leaving Sam to himself. You’ve never discussed it, but you suspect that Sam’s silence on the matter of you and Dean is his thank you for finally having some privacy on a regular basis.
Either way, you aren’t remotely surprised that Dean is here. You listen to boots being kicked off, a gun being placed on the night stand, and clothes being shuffled off. He’s down to his boxers when he slides beneath the covers.
Plot:Maybe asking your Korean teacher for help wasn’t such a bad idea. Good grades weren’t the only thing you were going to achieve from that.
Pairing: Teacher! Jung Hoseok x Student! reader
Warnings:Oral (receiving), Moaning denial, just full-on hardcore Jung Hoseok the sexy beast
Note: This is probably the first time I’m actually posting smut. It took me quite a while to write, considering it was very long, and I need to be in a certain mood for it. Thank you to my friend for giving me this idea. Please forgive me if there are any errors, english isn’t my first language. 3657 Words
P.S.You are 19 in this, and Hoseok is 25. I do not support all that underage sex stuff. Everything here is legal (wrong – please don’t fuck your teacher no matter how hot he is – but legal).
Korean Literature was probably your least favorite subject. You hated just everything about it – well – excluding the teacher. He always greeted you with a smile, asked you if you wanted help. You were the only foreigner in the class, after all. He gave you so much special attention, and you wouldn’t mind it at all. Unfortunately, that didn’t change your view on the subject. No matter how hard you tried, you always got a low grade.
“Okay students, remember we have a test on the new poem this Friday,” His voice echoed through your ears, breaking you out of your trance.
There was a solemn look on your face, while you stared out the window. Your eyes stayed on the uniformed kids flooding out of the school gates, while your nail dug under the staple holding your latest spelling test together.
5 out of 10. It was better than the last one.
No matter how bad it got, you always had this urge to try. You always wanted to keep studying for a higher score, but you just never seemed to understand everything that was thrown at you. It was like everything registered into your brain, but it never stayed – it disappeared, unlike your determination to do well.
As your eyes flickered over to the teacher, a nervous feeling settled in your chest. You now stayed after school for that exact reason. A few days ago, Hoseok had offered to help tutor you for an hour everyday until the test. It had been at least a week since he started, and you could safely say that you were getting better.
I’ve been thinking about professor!magnus and soldier!alec since yesterday and idk if I want to commit myself to writing something like that when I know nothing about the army but I feel like there could be something very heartbreaking about it.
Like maybe Alec is about to be deployed and it’s his what… 2nd? 3rd? tour and he’s happy to be unattached, despite what his siblings always say, because he knows how hard it is to be separated from the ones he loves but also to be left behind and he doesn’t want to do that to someone. So he doesn’t date and he doesn’t have a lot of close friends apart from his family and it’s ok, hes doing something important, serving his country and following his family’s footsteps (ofc they’d be a big military family) but then he meets Magnus … Idk where, somewhere random like a bookstore or grocery store or the outdoor market Izzy dragged him to and sparks f l y. And Alec is confused/overwhelmed and reluctant despite Magnus flirting 110% with him. Maybe they exchange numbers maybe not, maybe they randomly meet again and Magnus is like uh funny twist of fate *flirty grin* and Alec is just…. abort mission holy shit help ???Because even though he’s had flings and hooks up, he’s never had a crush or somebody that made him go w o w like this and it’s new? But he kinda wants to break his rule and say yes when the hot college professor asks him out and that’s new and kinda scary but he blurts out yes before he can fully think about it or change his mind. Of course, he has a nervous breakdown afterward and Izzy is like pls find your chill but he can’t find his chill cause he’s going away to get shot at in less than 3 months and the timing couldn’t more off and that’s not fair to Magnus to get him involved like that… Because, of course, Alec is the type of person to worry too much before anything even happens. Anyway, so they go on a date maybe a walk at dusk and some ice cream?? Idk why but I’m imagining this is set in a small coastal town? They can walk near the water while talking about everything and nothing?? I’m seeing a make out session on top of a lighthouse? Anyway, when Alec tells Magnus what he does and where he’s going he’s all sorry about that I should have told you straight away when you asked me out but Magnus is all its ok lets just see where this goes, it doesn’t have to be serious since you’re leaving so soon and they agree to have a fling… but feelings happen and it’s inconvenient!!!
I like imagining Alec walking Magnus to his classes when he’s stayed over the night before (Magnus teaches history in this, I feel it). And maybe on mornings he wasn’t at Magnus’ he does a little detour on his morning run to buy him breakfast and he leaves it in his office during the 8am lecture that Magnus hates so that he’ll have something nice after that hardship, a little muffin and a coffee with a cute note on the cup ‘cause Alec is sappy af even though he tries very hard to hide it. And maybe he buys Magnus peonies at some point, just because they’re pretty and Magnus is pretty and he’s never bought flowers for anyone before and he wanted to… And Magnus keeps teasing him flowers are not casual Mister!! because it’s easier to flirt and tease than to acknowledge the fact that Alec is leaving really soon and he might not come back, and Magnus isn’t even important enough to be considered someone he’s leaving behind (or at least that’s how he feels). Magnus tries not to think about it but he’s obsessing over the idea that he doesn’t even know Alec’s family and friends, doesn’t know anyone who would tell him if something happened??? But he doesn’t want to bring it up because it’s supposed to be casual and meaningless, something that ends when the semester ends. So they keep going on dates and Alec cooks for him and Magnus tries to ignore the uneasy feeling growing in his chest as time flies too fast. Until there aren’t any time left and Alec is leaving. So they take a walk just like their first date and they have ice cream and they make love and they definitely don’t talk about it even though they both know that they should and Alec just… leaves.
And Magnus tries not to have a hard time about it but it’s tough and he’s grateful it’s the end of the semester ‘cause at least he’s busy between marking terrible essays and correcting exams. He goes out with his friends from the history department once they’re all done and he tries to have a fun time, but truth is… he’s worried. He starts watching the news a little too obsessively and his friends don’t like it but he can’t help himself.
Alec has been gone three weeks when the first letter comes. It takes Magnus by surprise at first because in all the times they’ve been together Alec has always been a man of little words. That’s not to say he was emotionally unavailable or unwilling to discuss things and his feelings, but this is new, the way the words flow easily on the page like it was no hardship at all to put it all down, descriptions of his unit and where he is, a full paragraph about how much he misses Magnus’ cat and nothing about them at all. But Magnus gets it, he sees it for what it is, a peace offering maybe or a stubborn unwillingness to let go, so he writes back. He talks about his students, their successes and their struggles, and his friends, little things that have reminded him of Alec since he’s been gone. Soft stories for a soft boy in a hard place. And they keep going back and forth, sending each other little pieces of their respective lives and it should be enough, it’s more than Magnus expected, but it’s tough and he misses Alec like a limb, misses him in his bed and in his kitchen, misses him when summer classes start and he has no one to hold his hand on his way to work, no callused fingers to wrap around his… But every new letter is a blessing. It says many things but underneath it all, the most important message is I’m still here, I’m alive and I’m thinking about you.
Okay so maybe it all comes to a halt one day when his phone rings and it’s Alec on the line, after all those weeks, all those months, and he sounds like h e l l and he’s there on the phone, apologizing to Magnus because his phone bill is gonna be awful but I …. I just… I needed to hear your voice Magnus, I’m sorry. You… you c-can send me the bill if you want, I just… and it takes everything Magnus has for him not to break down and cry right there and then because Alec really doesn’t sound okay and he has no idea what happened and he has no idea what they are but that’s his boy there on the phone who’s hurting and he hasn’t heard his voice in weeks… So Magnus is like Please shut up about my phone bill, I don’t give a fuck about that. How are you? Are you okay? What happened? And Alec is reluctant to talk about it, doesn’t want to give any details, just keeps saying rough day, Magnus, rough day in this small voice and Magnus hates it more than he’s ever hated anything in his life. He doesn’t want to push Alec too hard so he just asks what can I do? and he hates the way his voice shakes, he wishes he could be stronger than this but Alec doesn’t seem to mind, he just sighs like he’s tired deep in his bones, deep in his soul, and says: just talk to me. So Magnus does, he rambles on nervously about what he had for breakfast and what he taught today, his lecture plan for tomorrow, his neighbor’s hatred for his cat and his favorite designer on the new season of Project Runway. He just babbles on, hoping it can help. All he wants to do is help. Alec hums here and there, asks a few questions, especially about Magnus’ work and at some point he runs out of things to say. There’s a beat of silence before he whispers I love you and he knows that won’t help but he can’t keep it inside anymore, he can’t live with this trapped inside of him, fighting to break free. Alec sighs again. I.. I w-wish… You… you shouldn’t say that. Don’t say that, please. It shouldn’t take Magnus by surprise but it does and it hurts. Me not saying it won’t make it untrue Alexander. Alec groans in frustration and Magnus can picture it perfectly, the way he’s probably bent over, head between his knees, one hand harshly buried in his hair. I didn’t want to put you through that. I didn’t want to put anyone through that but especially not you. He’s so noble and he’s so caring and Magnus knew that already but it hits him again, hard, that this is a man who puts others before himself every single time and who will fight tooth and nail anyone who dares try taking care of him. So Magnus does his best to sound as stern as he can: Well just too bad because I’m here and you’re there and I love you. And you wishing it hadn’t happened won’t change anything and if you like me even the tiniest bit you’ll call me again because I have been worried sick.
Alec calls every week after that. There’s a new kind of anxiety that comes with waiting for the phone call, waiting for the confirmation that Alec is okay, but Magnus is happy to live with it when it means he can hear Alec’s voice once a week, warm and soft when he asks Magnus what he’s been up to and insists to be put on the phone with the cat. I don’t want him to forget me!
They don’t talk about what they are again and it takes until Alec is back on American soil, his head buried in Magnus’ neck so no one can see him cry, for him to say I love you back, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t need it. For now, Magnus cherishes every time his phone rings and he gets connected to Alec, he cherishes every time he can make him laugh, he cherishes every single plan they start making, every single hint that they can have a future together.
Summary: You and Bucky are friends for a long time, but lately you start to develop romantic feelings for him. One day one of Tony’s parties everything changes but maybe not the way you wanted or expected.
Paring: Bucky x Reader
Thank you @amrita31199 you are the best and thank you for correcting so fast,
You look at the giant compound in front of you, with all your courage you ring the doorbell. Bruce answers the door asking gently “What are you doing here? There is nobody home, didn’t you hear about what happened?”
“What happened, Bruce?” Your heart hurts, youare already preparing for the worst “I don’t know all the details, but Hydra wants to make another super soldier. Apparently, they are kidnapping civilians to make the experiments.”
This is so horrible, you feel sorry for all these people that are having their life destroyed but at the same time you are relieved that Bucky is alright and thatit is just another mission “Shouldn’t you be there with them?”
You imagined that the Hulk would be helpful in these situations “I wouldn’t be very useful in that situation, they need to be discrete and the Hulk is nothing like that.” You should go home, it seems like the Universe doesn’t want you two to be together. It is the only explanation.
“Oh I see, I am so sorry to bother you so late. “ You check your phone it is way past midnight “Can you let me know when they get home? I really need to talk to, Bucky.” Bruce opens the front door for you “Why don’t you sleep here tonight? It’s pretty late and Bucky will kill me if something happens to you.”
Would you look at that ? In the mood for a somewhat angsty story. Also, I promised more Batsis so…boom, here we are. Written in ten minutes (almost exactly) at 4 am so…UHUH. I hope you will still like it :
You didn’t intend for any of that to happen. It just…somehow did.
If you had waited for him, you know it would have been too late.
Damian was there with you but…there was no way you would have let him do this. Oh no. Not your precious little brother.
You couldn’t bear it. Nor could you bear for your dad to do it really…
You know…You know it’s selfish.
You can’t help but think that, at least, you wouldn’t be the one to suffer. You wouldn’t be the one with a bleeding heart…Yes. It’s totally selfish.
“Somehow every time I have a dentist appointment you do too and you always sit next to me in the waiting room and ask me ‘what are you in for’ as if we are in prison and this has been happening for almost two years who are you” AU
Magnus looks up from the old book he’s been reading for the past few hours and at the clock on the wall as it strikes twelve. Alec was supposed to be home by now, but Magnus hadn’t heard from him for hours - on Alec’s ‘paperwork nights’, it was rare for even half an hour to pass without him getting a text from Alec.
With a sigh, Magnus puts down the book and reaches for his phone instead. He doesn’t really know what he’s expecting. Maybe a text telling him that Alec is on his way, or maybe a heads up that he’ll be late. But the only thing on Magnus’ screen is the two texts he and Alec exchanged a few hours earlier.
I only have a handful of reports left to go through - I should be done in an hour. I can’t wait to get home to you. I love you.
Okay, I’ll wait up. I love you too ❤️
It’s not like Alec to be late without letting Magnus know. In fact, it has only happened once or twice in the time they’ve been together, and it’s always meant that either Alec or one of his siblings had gotten themselves into a life threatening situation.
After a few unanswered texts and a call that went straight to voicemail, Magnus gets up from his chair. He’s not going to let himself worry too much before actually checking if everything is alright, but he can’t stop the knot that’s building in his stomach.
He pauses for a moment, checking his wards to make sure he hasn’t somehow missed Alec’s presence before waving his hand to create a portal.
You tried to understand that your
boyfriend was busy being in an idol group and all. Tours, recordings, music
broadcasts, and promotions were tiring. Therefore, you always tried to stay out
of his way and cope with the loneliness. It was hard, but you didn’t want to be
in his way. You saw your friends more than your own boyfriend. You envied them.
Their boyfriends were always texting them or there for them. Yoongi, on the
other hand, was always busy. Even when your grandmother passed away, he wasn’t
there to comfort you. You never told him. It was hard for you, but you tried to
always put on a strong front and smile in front of Yoongi. You didn’t want to
be a burden to him.
You don’t know where it went wrong. He
was so caring and affectionate toward you in the beginning. After 3 years of
dating, however, he stopped texting you every morning, afternoon, and night.
Soon, the texts disappeared and so did Yoongi. He stayed at the dorm all the time
now. You haven’t seen him for months and he didn’t bother to text or call you.
“You need to be selfish for once noona.”
You were hanging out with Bangtan’s
maknae line and Jimin was starting to worry about your relationship with his
hyung. You brought lunch over for them knowing they would probably skip it,
like always. They were too engrossed in practice to know that their bodies were
“Yeah, Jimin is right. We’ve never seen
Yoongi hyung act affectionate with you. You’re always texting us to check up on
hyung. That’s not right.”
You thought Jimin and Taehyung were
right, but you just couldn’t. You knew if this kept going, one of you will
start to fall out of love. This relationship would become toxic.
“Why don’t you go and take the lunches
to the hyungs. We’ll continue to practice after eating.”
“Okay Kookie. Remember to rest before
going back to practice. You’ll get stomach cramps.”
They nodded and you left to find the
other 4. You found them all in the recording studio talking and laughing.
Hoseok was the first to jump up and hug you.
He hugged you and you laughed. You were
always close to Hobi cause you and him were closest in age.
“Hey Hobi! Hey Namjoon, Seokjin oppa.”
They all hugged you, except for your own
boyfriend. You were kind of disappointed, but you quickly got rid of the
disappointment in your eyes and held out the lunches you had made for the boys.
“I know you guys would probably skip lunch
like always, so I bought you guys something to eat. It may not be as good as
Seokjin oppa’s, but it’s edible. The other 3 already tried it.”
“Ey, your food is delicious. But you
know, if you need any help with anything, I’m here to help!”
“Thank you oppa.”
Everyone except Yoongi grabbed a lunch
box from the bag. The other 3 quickly sensed the tension between the 2 of you
and left the 2 of you to talk. You stood there awkwardly as Yoongi went back to
work. After a few minutes of just standing, you grabbed a lunchbox and opened
it. You set it down in front of Yoongi and turned his chair around.
“Please, take a break and eat.”
“I’m busy if you can’t sense that
Your heart cracked. His harsh tone was
enough to cause tears to form.
“I know, but you should at least eat a
little. Just a bite?”
You were practically pleading at this
point. He could be as cold as he wanted to you, but you wanted him to at least
take care of himself. You pushed the lunchbox closer to him only to have it
knocked out of your hands and onto his lyric notebook. Your eyes widened and
you quickly grabbed his notebook from under the food. You knew how important it
was to him. It was his life.
“(Y/N)! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”
“DO YOU THINK A SORRY IS ENOUGH? YOU
COULD’VE RUINED EVERYTHING. You are so lucky it was closed.”
“I said I was sorry. If you just
“Are you blaming me now? Why can’t you
just leave me alone?”
Another crack in your heart.
That was your last straw. It hit some
nerve that you never knew even existed. And neither did he.
“LEAVE YOU ALONE? I’VE LEFT YOU ALONE
FOR MONTHS NOW! NOT A SINGLE TEXT OR CALL FOR 4 MONTHS AND YOU STILL WANT ME TO
LEAVE YOU ALONE? Sometimes I wonder if we’re even in a relationship. You could
at least send a text. I’m just asking for one simple, ‘hey’. Is that too much
to ask for?”
He was taken aback from your sudden
outburst. You were always a quiet person and you always kept calm even in the
most frustrating situations.
“I was busy. What’s up with you? You
“Maybe if you bothered to care, you
would understand why all this is happening.”
“I don’t have time. I wish you would
just understand me sometimes. I’m an idol. I can’t be there to comfort you through
everything. If you waited a little more, I would’ve been home. Stop being so
You were speechless. Everyone around you
were right. You have been too nice to Yoongi. He has taken your love for him
for granted. The tears you have been holding fell and now all your anger has
“Maybe I don’t want to wait anymore.
Maybe…maybe, I can’t wait anymore.”
With that, you left. You left him
standing there still taken aback from not only your words, but also your tears.
You left him to think about where this relationship went wrong. It took him a
while to finally figure out that you didn’t just throw a tantrum and leave to
cool off. You left him and your relationship with him.
“Hyung, how could you say that to noona?”
“Guys, I’m not in the mood.”
“How could you still say that?! You
haven’t talken to her in 4 months. She has to check on her stupid boyfriend
through us. She texted us to make sure you were eating, sleeping, and taking
care of yourself. She’s texted all of us because she didn’t want to bother you.
She’s been understanding. She has been waiting for you and here you are.
Namjoon scoffed. Jimin shoved 6 phones
onto the desk Yoongi was working at. There were endless conversations with you.
You telling them to make sure he was alright and healthy. There was even a
group chat he wasn’t a part of. And then there was his phone. Empty. Not a
single text since 4 months ago. As he finished reading, a sound from everyone’s
(Y/N) : You won’t be hearing from me for a while. Good luck on your
comeback. Please don’t tell Yoongi. I’m just a burden.
Hoseok quickly snatched his phone and
texted back. After getting another text, he turned to Yoongi and held his phone
out for him to see the conversation he just had with you.
Hobi: Where are you going? Please tell me you aren’t leaving.
(Y/N): Remember that offer I got at work to work on a fashion show in Paris. I decided to accept. I’m going to be gone for at least a year or maybe I’ll
just stay there.
Yoongi froze. You were leaving. You were
leaving him and never coming back. He looked up quickly when he heard another
text come in.
(Y/N): Guys, I’m leaving in 2 weeks to Paris. Please don’t tell
Yoongi. Tell him I met some other guy or you guys make up some excuse.
You still thought of him even though he
didn’t even glance at you for 4 months. Yoongi started to cry. He just ruined a
great relationship. He just ruined what could’ve been his wife and the mother
to his children. He made the woman he loved the most leave.
do u think Raven (in the shower biz fic),once she saw Clarke stroll towards the shower w Bellamy in it, that she opened up the groupchat: Raven-it's happened!!- Raven-i'm @ bellamy n clarkes apt & theyre literally showering together!!!!!!!111!!!!!- Raven-who bet on 4 months- Jasper-IUFESJDKXNOUJFKXVCIHOFDLB- Jasper-FINALLY- Miller-yea that was me pay up *sunglasses emoji*-
Cho’s was not that kind of grief. Hers was the grief of the living. She was flying and learning and loving and, yes, crying. Cedric was not. Her pretty world, at fifteen, had been shattered. It was darker than anyone had ever warned her of, but she was growing into it. She was growing up. Sometimes that takes tears.
Mourning is not selfless. We do not weep for the dead. We weep for the living–what could have been and the tragedy that is. We weep because our hearts are breaking. It is not selfless but neither are we. We are selves.
Hannah went out every few nights to breathe in green and work on her own projects. Sometimes Neville was there and sometimes he was away running defense lessons in the Room or, god forbid, sleeping. Sometimes they worked in companionable silence. Sometimes they talked about the DA, or wondered where Harry was. Neville told her about his disastrous early attempts with every non herbological magic. Hannah told him about her mother.
“This is where everything starts,” Professor Sprout had told them, back when Hogwarts was still a place of light, smiling under that frizzing grey hair. Professor Sprout had buried her hands in dirt and said, “This is what everything grows from. The ground up.”
Life is something you bury. Life is something you bury your hands in.
The Auror opened his mouth to speak, but Parvati kept going, calm, dismissive: “I don’t mean in training, in a nice padded room with an instructor who will take you for beers after. I don’t even mean by some criminal in a dark alley when you don’t know if you’re going to make it to the end of the day. I mean have you ever been Crucioed in a classroom, in front of your sister and a bunch of terrified children. Have you ever been Crucioed by someone who enjoyed it, when you were expendable? Have you ever gasped yourself back to life when they were done and known the next morning you were going to walk right back in and sit at your desk, and wait, and hope it happened to you and not some kid half your size?”
The Auror had gone silent.
Parvati looked him over slowly. “I have been an object lesson in disobedience from people I couldn’t get away from. I have watched children scream, and done nothing, because I was in a war and it wasn’t strategic and they were soldiers too. They would survive. And most of us did. But we are not the same as we were. You will respect our war.”
She and Harry had both done what Voldemort could not—died and come back. Harry sacrificed, a lion’s death giving him a lamb’s rebirth. Ginny was risen in the Chamber of Secrets at the strike of a fang to a poisoned diary but she was not reborn then. Leaving the Chamber, she was as much a shade as Tom Riddle’s desperate ghost.
It was not Harry’s heroism, Ron’s desperation, her mother’s love, or her brothers’ toilet seat humor that brought her back (though the toilet seat helped). Ginny breathed deep at night. She wept. She remembered how to rage. She snuck out at night and stole each of her brothers’ brooms in turn. She took to the skies and brought herself back to life.
“Why are you here?” Parvati asked Pansy once. People asked her a lot, when they found her in Flourish and Blotts, or at work on the Prophet. Their eyes raked her, looking for green, for silver, for venom. Sometimes she’d smile back and let them see the danger.
“Because I’m not fifteen anymore,” said Pansy. “God, do you know what precious Potter Sr. got up to at school, the bully? But boys get to grow up to be men, you see, and us girls just grow up to be bitches.”
When Andromeda got married, it was in a dress that was silver, not white. The guests called her luminescent, but her cousin Sirius, who spun her with comical and affectionate abandon across the dance floor later that night, smiled, and said, “You thought green would be too obvious?”
“A snake changes it’s skin, but it’s still—”
“I’m not going to pretend I’m anything I’m not, cuz,” she said.
You have to make things your own, laying out new earth or filling your too-small kitchen with song. You have to live in your skin. It’s worth living in.
Susie learned the lines of scar tissue on her arm, like cracks in a ceiling, like the specific pattern of fissures and gouges that made a place its own. She traced her fingers over the raised scars while she studied obscure legal texts in her first little office, and felt like she was flicking her wand, casting ward circles, like she was circling this and claiming this, calling it her own.
In the spare bedroom at Shell Cottage, Ollivander made Luna a new wand. They hiked, slowly, through windswept bluffs until he found a tree he approved of.
“Willow?” Dean asked. “Or reed? I mean, it’s Luna, she’s kinda bendy, isn’t she?”
Ollivander went on Transfiguring his toolset out of bits of driftwood and sea glass. Luna smiled back, wide.
Bend and bend and never break. She could almost touch the tip of the wand to its hilt, when he was done. Ollivander gave her some oil to rub into it to keep it supple and one day, after the war, Luna curved it into a perfect circle. She held it up to her eye and thought about the last riddle she had ever used to open up Ravenclaw’s tower. A circle has no end.
summary:Bucky x reader College AU. You and Bucky have been dating for a while, but things aren’t going so great. You love Bucky and want to make the relationship work, but does he?
warnings: light angst, fluff
a/n: This is my entry for @jurassicbarnes writing challenge! Happy Blog-Birthday💕 Based on the song Now or Never by Halsey. Btw this is my first fic ever! Also english isn’t my mother tongue, sorry for (m)any typos! Also, why am I doing this to myself?
“I love you.”, you say, exhaling softly and closing your eyes. You wait to hear if he says it back. He doesn’t.
Long after you have fallen asleep Bucky wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you close. “I love you, too.”, he whispers. But you can’t hear him.
Two days later:
You’re in your apartment, which you share with your best friend Natasha, working on your assignment. Or that’s what you should be doing. But really you are just waiting for Bucky to call you back. Which he hasn’t so far. You are used to it though. An hour truly isn’t much. For his standards that is.
It’s been two days since you have last seen Bucky and you made plans two have dinner tonight.
After another hour it happens. Your phone finally rings. As you hear the beginning tunes of ‘Viva la Vida’ your head immediatly perks up and a smile makes it’s way onto your lips. Nat sighs and shoots you a pityful glance.
But when you look down at your cell, it’s not Bucky calling. It’s Steve, his best friend.
You already know what is coming. Bucky has done this a thousand times, using Steve to cancel his plans with you. You really don’t know why Steve still puts up with this. But then again, so do you.
“Heey Steve.” You pick up the phone, your mood audible in your voice. On the other end you hear Steve sigh.
“I am sorry, Y/N. I really am.”, he says.
“You don’t need to be.” You swallow hard. You meant it. It’s not Steve’s fault.
“It’s just-”, Steve starts to explain, but you cut him off. “No need to make up excuses. I get it.”
“I don’t think you do.” You laugh. Now it is your fault, or what?
“Look, today is not a good day for Bucky.”
“And he can’t tell me that himself?”, you snap.
“Like I said, not a good day.”, Steve explains.
“I GET IT.”, you yell. You immediatly feel sorry for screaming at Steve like that. He definitely did not deserve it.
“Sorry.” You take a deep breath. “Just…, tell Bucky…” You swallow. “Tell him it’s fine. And-” Hesitantly you finish. “Tell him I am here if he needs me.”
“Bucky, you need to stop avoiding Y/N. She doesn’t deserve it.”, Steve says, his eyes piercing through Bucky.
“I am not avoiding her.”, Bucky growels, his stare just as intense as Steve’s.
Steve snorts. “You’re not? Then why did I just call your girlfriend to tell her that you don’t have time for her?”
Sighing Bucky breaks his stare. “You know it’s not like that.”
Steve gets up from to couch to grab another beer from the fridge. “I know that, but does she?” He opens the fridge door, to realize that there is no beer left. Using slightly too much force he shuts the door and turns around to face Bucky again, leaning against the fridge. “You cannot keep pulling shit like this and expect her to stay.”
Bucky inhales deeply. “I am not sure I want her to stay.”
“You should break up with him.”, Nat says, as soon as you end the call.
“What?!” You just stare at her. She can’t honestly mean that. She knows how you feel about Bucky and how much he means to you.
“I know you love him, but you need to brace yourself for the possibility that he doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore.” She carefully meets your gaze.
But you are not ready for this. So you go back to working on your assignment that you couldn’t care about less.
What Natasha said doesn’t leave your thoughts the rest of the day. Even now, lying in your bed that’s awfully empty without Bucky there.
For a while you just stare at the white ceiling.
Maybe he doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. You close your eyes, but you can’t stop the tears from falling. A sob escapes from your lips. You quickly cover your mouth with one hand, not wanting Nat to hear you cry.
You really don’t want her to be right, but can’t stop yourself from think ‘what if she is?’.
Were two years all you would get with Bucky?
There was a time where you actually thought he was the one. And you still do.
But being with someone does not fully commit to you, hell, who does not even make time to see you, is not the way to live.
How foolish of you to think that you could have it all. An apartment close to your dream college with your best friend, the perfect guy and a great relationship with him.
And Bucky was the perfect guy.
Handsome with gorgeos blue eyes that you could stare at for hours, if he would actually spend time with you. The right amount smart and funny, you could joke with him just as well as you could have a serious conversation. If he would actually talk to you. He was just… a little damaged. Which was probably why he was ignoring you right now.
It wouldn’t be fair for you to leave him now, just because he was going through a hard time. After all he had been there for you. And that’s what you want. You want to be there for him. But he doesn’t let you.
All of a sudden you are pulled out of sleep, your face and pillow drenched in water.
Confused you look around for the reason you awoke and find Nat standing next to your bed with an empty glass in her hand. She freaking poured cold water on you.
Nat smiles apologetically and shrugs.
“Get your ass out of bed. Now. We’re late.”
And with that she leaves.
Groaning you hoist yourself out of bed.
You roll your head to stretch your neck and lightly massage your shoulders.
You hadn’t slept well and now your whole body ached. ‘Good.’, you think. At least now your body matches your soul.
You don’t want to go to class today. You don’t feel well. ‘Not a good day.’, you think and laugh at yourself. But opposed to Bucky you really want to talk to him or just be close to him.
A light sob comes out. You take a deep breath. No time to cry.
After a quick shower and a cup of coffee you already feel a little better. Well enough to tackle a day of college.
You still needed to speak to Professor Coulson about that assignment. Since you hadn’t gotten anything done yesterday, you doubt it would be finished by tomorrow. But maybe you could convince him to give you more time.
When you arrive you and Nat part ways and head to your lectures. You round the corner and find yourself face to face with non other than Bucky Barnes.
Though you had been wanting to see him for the past few days, now that you are standing in front of him you don’t know what to say.
You immediatly start to blush and turn around. You shouldn’t be embarassed. But you are. So you start walking back only to realize that you are late and you have to get to class. Even if that means having to face Bucky.
Apruptly you halt your steps. Inhaling deeply you gather the courage to turn around.
He is still there. Just standing there, staring at you. Why doesn’t he say something.
He just looks at you with those blue eyes, the pain and sorrow visible in his gaze.
He does not look well. His skin pale as ever, dark blue bags under his truly beautiful eyes. Neither one of you moves. You want to. You want to run away. Turn around and never look back. You want to run into his arms. Wrap your arms around him and never let go.
“Aghm.” A cough pulls you out of your mind.
You both break your stare to find Steve, who just emmerged from the men’s bathroom, leaning awkwardly against the door, looking like wants to be anywhere but here.
“Sorry to interrupt your staring contest, but we are all late to Professor Coulson’s class.”
The short walk to the lecture hall was… uncomfortable, to say the least. Neither of you says a word. You wouldn’t know what to say or talk about anyway.
Now you are sitting in the second row, gaze fixed on Bucky’s brown hair in front of you. You can’t help but wonder if it is still as soft as always. You find yourself reaching out to touch it and quickly pull back your hand.
First you are late and now you cannot concentrate on what the Professor is saying. Great way to show Coulson you deserve more time.
“Now remember that essay we talked about is due ‘til tomorrow.” With that Professor Coulson dismisses the class.
You throw your notebook and pen into your bag, straighten out your skirt and make your way to the front.
“Y/N.” You hadn’t heard his voice in too long.
But you continue walking until you reach Professor Coulson’s desk.
“I wanted to- ahm- ask if- ahm- it would be possible to… maybe possibly hand in the essay the day after tomorrow?”, you stuttered, hands sweaty. Great, you couldn’t even form a coherent sentence.
“Are alright, Y/N?” Brows furrowed your professor watches you intently.
“It’s fine.” You brush a stray hair strand out of your face, twirling it as you do so. “I mean I am fine.” You swallow, masking up a smile that is so obviously fake you don’t even know why you tried. Dropping the smile, you knead your hands together, slightly cracking your knuckles.
“You have until Wednesday.”, Professor Coulon says, a small smile on his lips. “I hope you get better.” Leaning forward slightly he whispers: “I think James is waiting for you.”
You look over your shoulder and see Bucky, James, leaning casually against the front row table, hands in the pockets of his jeans, gaze focused on the floor as if he was looking for for something. Right in that moment he looks up and his gaze meets yours. His lips curve up just the tiniest bit.
“Thank you, Professor.”, you say, before turning fully.
You start to walk towards Bucky, aware of every single stept you make. It feels like you have forgotten how to walk properly.
Bucky’s gaze never leaves you and that is part of the problem. The 5m from Coulson’s desk to the front row feel like 5km.
Too soon you reach Bucky and look up at him, now standing in his full height, hands leaving his pockets to hang awkwardly at his side.
His right hand slowly begins to lift and you lift yours to meet his in a very odd handshake.
“I was going for a hug, but I guess this is fine as well.”, he mumbles, gaze dropping to the floor again.
A nervous giggle escapes your lips. You let go of his hand, which you hadn’t noticed you were still holding, and wrap your arms around his waist, before you can think twice about it.
It feels so familiar. And good. It feels so good.
You rest your head on Bucky’s chest. You can hear his heart beating. Fast and hard.
He puts one hand on the back of your head, the other on the small of your back and pulls you impossibly closer.
“I missed you.”, he whispers, mouth grazing your ear.
Don’t you dare say something. Don’t you dare ruin this moment. But then you have never been the type to keep your mouth shut.
“You don’t have to.” You say quietly, head still pressed against his chest. “I am here. And will always be.”
Carefully you look up at his face, not sure if you whether you want to see his reaction.
His teeth are clenched together, lips pressed into a fine line, jawline more visible than usual.
When he sees that you are looking at him, his lips form into a tight lipped smile. “I know baby, I know.” He presses his lips to your forehead in a soft kiss.
You move your hands from his waist to the sides of his face and raise to the tips of your toes to place a kiss on Bucky’s lips.
All of a sudden you hear the door shut.
“Oh, you are still here.”, Coulson says, scratching his head. “Sorry to interrupt, but the next class starts in 5 minutes.” He walks over to his desk and sets his bag and a fresh, still steaming cup of coffee on it. “You might want to go somewhere… more private.”
Startled the two of you break apart. Keeping your head down you rush out of the room, mumbling “Sorry.” as you do. Bucky is right behind you, following your every step.
“Soo…” You come to a stop in front of a bank on campus. You sit down and pat the spot next to you, motioning Bucky to sit down, too. “Are we gonna talk about what happened?”
“What do you mean?”
You laugh. “Oh come on!” You stare at him, probably not looking as scary or threatening as you think.
“Don’t pretend you haven’t been avoiding me for the past two days!” Your voice comes out louder than intended. You cover your face with your hands, elbows resting on your knees. “I know you are going through a hard time, but… you could have at least texted.” The last part sounds more like a sob than anything else. At this point you are trying very hard to hold back the tears.
Bucky tears your hands away from your face. He grips your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. “I- I shouldn’t have done that.” He lets go of your face and looks down at his shoes.
Not being able to stop yourself, you brush his hair away from his face and behind his ear.
“It’s fine.” You try to reassure him. And maybe yourself. “Really, it’s fine. I am used to it.” At that you just have to laugh. You are actually used to your boyfriend ignoring you.
Said boyfriend’s head snaps in your direction. Wiggling closer, he puts his hand your thigh.
“You shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t-” He looks down at his hand that’s now drawing small circles. “I shouldn’t treat you like this.” His gaze wanders before settling down on yours.
“I am finally in my right mind. I love you, Y/N, and I need you. I have to stop pushing you away.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I was just so afraid. Still kinda am. It’s been so long since I- since I felt this way for someone.” He smiles. Not a small or tight lipped smile, but a genuine one.
A tear falls from your left eye. And that’s enough to break the damm. All the tears you had been holding back stream down your face and soon you’re leaning against Bucky’s shoulder, sobbing uncontrolably.
“Why are you crying?”, he asks, rubbing your shoulder soothingly. “I just told you I love you.” You can basically hear the giant smile on his face.
As Steve opens the front door to his and Bucky’s apartment he can already hear you giggling. Smiling he steps inside.
You are lying on the couch, head in Bucky’s lap, his hands gently stroking your hair.
“What are you watching?”, Steve asks as he examines the TV.
“Captain America.”, Bucky says, not looking up.
Giggling you point at the TV. “He looks so much like you, Steve!”
a/n: Can u tell I never learned where to put commas. All any of my english teachers ever said was: u don’t have to put as many commas as in German ‘cause there are literally like 10000 comma rules in German. Also I hope someone actually reads this hahaha if you read this pls let me know what you think kay?
❝Without an end, there can be no peace. It gets no easier. Your struggles have only just begun.❞
❝We should stand together, not fight amongst ourselves!❞ ❝Get rid of one threat and another appears. I’m starting to think this city’s in love with crisis.❞ ❝Can’t we talk about this? No?❞ ❝If we kill them, we get their stuff!❞ ❝It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly.❞ ❝I’d make a terrible slave. I talk too much!❞ ❝I will not let you see all Mages be treated like criminals!❞ ❝You are no longer my master.❞ ❝What I know is that I hate being cornered and I can fight harder scared than they can angry.❞ ❝I didn’t ask to be the butt of your jokes!❞ ❝Wait… you’ve been without for four years? You must creak like a rusty hinge.❞ ❝We both put others above ourselves. I just happen to do it while clothed.❞ ❝I wouldn’t dream of mocking your… unconventional courtship.❞ ❝It will be grand having you over me. Above me. In rank, that is.❞
❝We’re a good people, who look out for each other. Just not today, it seems.❞ ❝Even you can be happy once in a while, it won’t kill you.❞ ❝I remember it didn’t take much to make you sing.❞ ❝I suppose a pair of lyrium breasts tattooed on my chest would make things better…❞ ❝It’ll be nice to have the law on my side for a change~!❞ ❝Do you know how much I suffer under your gaze? I am a person, not an object!❞ ❝You have piss-poor aim…Fortunately, you have…other uses~!❞ ❝So I shouldn’t slit my wrists and dance naked under the moonlight just to fit in?❞ ❝Andraste’s flaming knickers!❞ ❝In about ten seconds, I’m just going to smash anything that moves.❞ ❝You’re actually joking. Alert the Chantry! They need to put this on the calendar!❞ ❝If anyone here tries to hire me again, I’m leaving.❞ ❝I swear, I will find that son of a bitch - sorry, Mother - and I will kill him!❞ ❝Is that all you do? Dwell on the negative?❞
❝Andraste’s sanctified tits! Who on earth would make the ground vertical!?❞ ❝Does this stuff have side effects?!❞ ❝I have an excellent sense of dramatic timing. And good hair!❞ ❝I am getting truly sick of looking at stalagmites. Or is it stalactites? Shit, I don’t know.❞ ❝I was looking for someone with your… “special talents…❞ ❝With a name like that, you’re bound to go "mwa-ha-hah!” at some point, I just know it.❞ ❝You have a good heart, and you deserve better.❞
❝What earth-shattering matter requires my attention NOW?❞ ❝I’ve heard many story tellers like you…yet they don’t start their stories with ‘I shit you not’…❞
❝No one should tell you how to mourn. And when someone says ‘move on,’ you take their hand and say, 'my choice.'❞ ❝If there is a future to be had, I will walk into it gladly by your side.❞ ❝Still coming to the rescue after all these years? I’ve got this under control, but thanks.❞ ❝What do you call it when you kill someone and take his property?❞ ❝That’s what you get for spending your last minute monologuing.❞ ❝Someday, I’d like to go one week without meeting an insane mage. Just one week.❞ ❝And the trend of you scaring the piss out of me continues…❞
Or why the Avengers’ relationship to Tony was unhealthy at best, Steve isn’t fit to be a leader, and why I’m Team Iron Man to the end.
WHY TONY’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE AVENGERS IS UNHEALTHY AT BEST
Tony’s relationship with the Avengers has always made me uncomfortable. For the longest time, I couldn’t put my finger on why exactly, but I’ll try to organize my thoughts in this series.
This post was getting far too long, so I decided to cut it into parts, one per Avenger.
Let’s talk about Wanda.
Wanda, who chooses to join a known terrorist organization to get revenge over Tony in the stupidest plot ever, because, come on. If your parents are killed in a car accident, you’re not going to go kill the car manufacturer in revenge. It’s absurd. It’s insane. It makes no sense whatsoever.
But she makes that choice. God only knows how many people she killed during her and Pietro’s time with HYDRA, but she obviously doesn’t give a damn. In fact, her revenge against Tony doesn’t seem to include actually causing him physical harm, but rather…killing as many innocent people over the world as she can? Otherwise, she could have, you know. Killed him at the beginning of Age of Ultron. Instead, she triggered the creation of Ultron, mentally raped and tortured people who’d already been through a shit-ton of trauma, and let loose a creature known to be uncontrollable and highly destructive on hapless civilians.
And she does. not. care.
Then, she realizes all of a sudden that, wait! Ultron wants to destroy the world I happen to be a part of. Does that mean I’ll die, too? It must! Nope, that won’t do. Let’s switch sides.
Then Clint goes and makes her an Avenger, without any consideration for Natasha, his friend and teammate, who had to relive her blood-drenched past, or Bruce, his teammate and friend, whom Wanda forced to massacre innocent civilians, or Tony, his teammate and supposed friend, who went through a hellish vision. Clint, who has experienced mind-control and its consequences before, just welcomes a proven disloyal, murderous witch into the team all on his own. As if all was forgiven and the lives she’d taken didn’t matter. As if the harm she caused wasn’t a problem and should be forgotten just because she suddenly saw the light and really is “just a kid.”
But she didn’t.
First, she doesn’t give a crap about the lives lost. She doesn’t give a crap about who lives or dies, and about what she did/caused.
Second, she’s not a freaking kid. She’s a grown-ass woman of 26, only a few years younger than Steve, and if she’s old enough to drink, fuck and kill, then she’s damn well old enough to take responsibility for the blood she shed. Willingly.
Third, how come Tony has to take responsibility, get reamed out by everyone and still not be forgiven, and atone over and over again for his mistakes (which afterward get used against him on a regular basis by his supposed team), even though he actually tries to get better and fix things, when Wanda, who doesn’t give a shit, gets a free pass? The double-standards when it comes to that are mind-blowing.
The same thing actually happens after Lagos. Wanda fucks up. And yeah, she was trying to help this time, I won’t deny it. But she did, and people died. And instead of benching her for more training (because while I believe that “lack of control” excuse if absolute bullshit after the mastery of her powers she displayed in Age of Ultron), which should have been Steve’s reaction as “team leader,” Steve gently sits her down and explains that she should forget about those people because “you can’t save everybody.” That the leader of the world’s leading defending force shows such disregard about human life is kinda daunting, don’t you think?
I can guarantee that, had Tony made such a costly mistake, he’d have been benched faster than you can say “hypocrite.”
On to that wonderfully childish “he locked me into my room” affair.
Tony tries to protect Wanda by keeping her in. Granted, he could have explained it better. Except here’s the deal: Tony has a lot on his plate. On top of this Accords mess, he’s still got a company to his name, which means the livelihoods of thousands of people all over the world to worry about, the Avengers’ gear, PR, and battles to deal with, his Iron Man duties, etc. etc. No doubt both the Lagos incident and Steve’s mess in Bulgaria are running him ragged trying to do damage control not only with Ross, but also with, probably, the press and maybe even the UN. Furthermore, he’s already been physically hurt.
He simply doesn’t have the time to sit down with Wanda, take her hand, and then explain everything that’s going down, especially given that she’s hostile towards him to begin with, and would probably not listen anyway.
Vision did try to explain. And she was fine with staying where she was until Clint popped up with his carefully not considered consequences.
Then you’ll never make me believe that dropping 20+ cars on top of a man—a man in armor, sure, but that doesn’t make it any better, the average weight of a car being 1.5 ton—the way she did wasn’t done with the intention to cause severe physical harm, if not outright death. To me, she saw the opportunity to hurt the man she considered responsible for everything wrong in this world, and took it with relish.
So here’s the thing.
Wanda can judge and hate Tony all she wants. But that doesn’t change the fact that were it not for him, she wouldn’t be in America. She wouldn’t have anything to eat, or to wear, or anywhere to sleep. She wouldn’t have a visa (which must have been freaking hard to obtain given that she was a criminal), or shiny toys, or a room bigger than the average family home to be locked in in the first place.
And it doesn’t change the fact that she has no right to that judgement and hatred while she conveniently refuses to acknowledge that, unlike Tony, who had no idea what was going on, shewillingly caused harm to innocent people.