i have been out all day

Thoughts on the madness

I know absolutely everyone and their mothers have done this, but I also wanted to write what I enjoyed the most about WTTM

  • Hey yes I’m an otayuri shipper and I will focus this onIS YUURI’S MOM PRAYING TO VICCHAN AFTER YUURI MEDALED?!?!?!!?!??!!?!?!? AND MAKKACHIN IS THERE TOO THIS IS SUCH A TENDER MOMENT I’M SO GLAD THEY INCLUDED THIS
  • Yuri leaning on his right hand when talking to Yakov and Lilia is one of the most aesthetically pleasing things I’ve seen in a while
    • LILIA BARANOVSKAYA WITH HER HAIR DOWN AND BEING THE PROUDEST OF YURI!!!!! I love Yuri and Lilia’s relationship so much! I wish they’d expand more on them next!!
  • OKAY, lemme start on the otayuri. You see, when you *don’t* care about things, your brain tends to not look up for them, right? And when you *want* or *like* something, you start seeing it everywhere, right? Well, there were so many people at the hotel lounge and it was a big distance, YET, Yuri saw Otabek walking as if he was subconsciouly looking out for him.
  • MASUMI SAN MADE AN APPEARANCE
  • “You are only 18 yourself!!” YURI PLISETSKY, 15-ALMOST-16, UNDERSTANDS THAT PEOPLE OF 18 AREN’T REALLY ADULTS
  • Otabek is such a kid lmao, running away from Yuri after he said his age seems like a responsible choice, but for me that’s so childish haha, like, “oh no, he’s a child™” rotfl honestly
  • Yuri screaming they are done and then remembering he needs someone to bitch it’s best friends forever behavior right there AND IT’S BEEN 3 DAYS
  • I LOVE FRIEND GANGS AND NOW I NEED 764985745 FICS OF MILA, SARA, MICKEY AND EMIL PARTYING
    • Sara Crispino doesn’t have time for your bullshit and will set a Czech guy to lift you if you mess up with her crew
  • “Maybe Otabek feels bad because he lost to you”, “Who cares, I’m his friend” the contract has been sealed, Otabek should have read the finer print tbh
  • LEO DE LA IGLESIA AND OTABEK ALTIN ARE FRIENDS CONFIRMED I’D LIKE TO THANK LIFE AND JESUS
    • Leo is a stalker confirmed
  • Yuri “I hate you all and will destroy you with my knife shoes“ Plisetsky accepted talking and interacting to people he’s not friends with only to find Otabek. Imma be real, I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t want to get into someone else’s pants AND YET
    • I’m sorry but it’s confirmed that ALL skaters stalk Otabek on a daily basis, 100% canon, confirmed, don’t touch me
  • My heart got broken because Chris’ heart is broken
  • Georgi doesn’t have Yuri’s number I CACKLED
  • YURI PLISETSKY WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL TO PUT ON CLOTHES THAT HELD MEANING TO OTABEK, THEN TEASINGLY SHOWED THEM YES SURE KID, THAT’S FRIENDLY BEHAVIOUR, SURE
  • it’s been 3 days and they have already mastered the ‘talking through the eyes’ bff thing, do you see the chemistry or do I need to pull out the periodic table and slap your face with it
  • Otabek’s smirk™
  • Yuri opening up to Otabek and talking to him about his skating. This is again what I love about them the most, that Yuri knows Otabek respects him above all and can confide him with what he treasures the most, his skating.
    • Yuri never asks for advice and he’s asking Otabek for advice.
  • Yuri‘s body language. He’s already very intimate with Otabek and leans on him when talking. Otabek doesn’t seem to mind.
  • Otabek’s second smirk™
  • “I didn’t want things to end awkwardly between us” the fact Otabek thinks this could have happened breaks my heart, he is so desperate for Yuri’s friendship but doubts himself a lot.
  • “That’s the Yuri I most want to see” take this platonically or romantically, I don’t care, but sometimes you love someone SO MUCH, you only want them to succeed, be their best and let them inspire you as well. Otabek’s feelings for Yuri are so pure and ask for nothing in return but to let him see.
  • “I realize that this is probably just one moment. One brief moment in my long life to come. But like hell I’m gonna let this one moment control me. And… If I can just trust… That what I love is the key to my salvation… Then I can be reborn as many times I like on the ice.”
    • FUCK
    • HOLD ME
    • The last part is so beautiful and sweet and appeals to my poetic needs like you guys can’t even imagine. I don’t care about the rest of the manga, this is what I’m treasuring and remembering♥♥♥ About the first part, Yuri is not only passionate about skating, he loves it, he belongs to the ice, he wants to devote himself to the ice as long as he can. This reminded me of episode 4 when he said he only had a short time frame to make history and how could you not love and respect such a passionate person like him♥♥♥ This is why Yuri Plisetsky is my favorite character.
  • Am I the only one who when saw the bad scanned manga thought Yuuri was trembling when lifting Victor and cackled loudly? No? Just me? ok
  • Intensely eyefucking your best friend of 3 days:  ✔️
  • Not having any damn idea what I’m getting myself into but I can’t let you down because I set the bar way too high after that soldier’s eyes line: ✔️
  • This needed more JJ am I the only one with JJ needs after this?
  • They didn’t plan to pair skate in advance. The glove was not planned. I shall repeat myself: Taking the glove off with his teeth was not planned.
    • WHAT DID YURI HAVE IN MIND WHEN HE STUCK HIS FINGERS THERE, THEN
    • HOW DOES OTABEK KNOW HOW TO TAKE CLOTHES WITH HIS TEETH AND NOT BITE IN THE PROCESS
      • CAN HE DO THAT WITH CONDOMS
  • Please read this post with what little I wrote after because this is what I thought of the presentation in general. More or less, I believe WTTM portrays their future relationship in an interesting way.

if u read this u deserve a kiss

Sam's heaven

(A/N): So I really miss writing supernatural and I had just watched the dark side of the moon and I wanted to write a lil something about it 

Summary: Sam and Dean are trapped in heaven, forced to relive their memories but what they both see is not what they expected 

 Warnings: angst? Swearing, that’s it :) 


Originally posted by adaav

   Dean and Sam were trapped in heaven; no big deal, they just had to avoid any and all angels, traverse through their best moments, and make it back home. That wasn’t too hard, was it?


    Dean’s memories had all been of family, of a time much happier than the one now. Even Sam couldn’t help the small smile that remained on his face as he watched Dean interact with people from his past; Like their own mother Watching Dean with his mom pulled at Sam’s heart strings; he wondered if they had lived a normal life if maybe he would’ve been dressed up in small flannel and horrendously ugly t-shirts, maybe he’d have had the crusts cut off of his pb&j, maybe he would have actually had a nice, functioning family. But that’s not the way it played out and he was stupid to hope for such a thing anyways. 


   Everything had been smooth until they reached sam’s memories; his best moments. There was one with his dog, only weeks after he left John and Dean, there was another on thanksgiving with a family that had been much kinder to him than his own, but the ones that really stuck with him were the ones with (Y/N). They had been his significant other since the day he left John, not really, but that was the day he met them. He’d gone to a diner, plopped down and ordered himself the most expensive burger he could, he deserved to celebrate after all. 

    “Looks like something’s got Mr. Sasquatch down,” His waiter- (Y/N)- smiled at him softly. “You okay?” Sam’s nose crinkled a bit as he looked at the menu. Did they- had they just asked if he was okay? No one ever cared enough about him to ask if he was okay. This person had even noticed that he wasn’t feeling okay and they asked him about it.

    “Uh yeah- just a bit of a hard day really,” (Y/N) smiled as they set their little notepad down, instead taking a seat right across from Sam. 

   "Wanna tell me about it? I’ll even buy your food for you,“ No one had ever been that kind to Sam, no one but (Y/N). It felt nice to finally have someone care, even if it was just a stranger. So that day Sam poured his heart and soul into his conversation with (Y/N), telling them all about his shitty childhood, about his father, about dean. For hours he talked with them and during some point the conversation had drifted from his past to other things, things like law school, art, nature, even animals. Not once in his life had Sam felt so comfortable around someone, (Y/N) was different like that and Sam absolutely loved it. But for now that wasn’t the memory he was reliving, in fact, it was a memory from months after they first met. 

    "Who the hell is that?” Dean whispered as he watched the memory unfold. 

   It dark outside, but the stars above seemed to illuminate everything splendidly. It was a large field, much like the one from Dean’s memory and in the middle of it was (Y/N). Sam’s throat choked up a bit as he looked at them, at their curious eyes, and beautiful smile. 

   "Sam, the hell is this?“ But Sam wasn’t listening, he was too focused on (Y/N). "Sam- Sammy, the hell are you doing?” Dean whispered as Sam walked forward, completely ignoring his brother. He was almost dazed really to see (Y/N) after all this time, even if it was just his own memory. 

   "Sorry I’m late,“ Sam breathes out as he sits down beside (Y/N), still in awe over how beautiful they looked. "I got lost on the way here,” (Y/N) smiled and laughed softly, their nose crinkling in a way that had his heart aching. 

   "It’s okay, you’re actually right on time,“ (Y/N) pointed to the sky, directing Sam’s gaze upwards. Above them millions of stars shined brightly, creating a sight too beautiful for words.

    It was their annual date night (every Friday to be exact) but rather than stay inside and watch some shitty tv shows (as per they usually did. They were poor college students after all) (Y/N) had hauled Sam along to watch the stars; They had always been a bit of an astronomy geek so they were more than excited to show Sam the starry sky.

    "Isn’t it beautiful?” (Y/N) asked softly as they looked to the sky in awe, their eyes twinkling so brightly that Sam wanted to cry. 

   "Yeah,“ Sam nodded as he stared at them. "It sure is," 


    "Who the hell was that?” Dean asked as they traveled along, coming to Sam’s next memory. 

   "I dated them in college,“ Sam Shrugs a bit. "Just a fling really," 

   "That sure as hell didn’t look like a fling,” Dean scrutinized as he glared at Sam, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. “We’re you in love?" 

   "Dean-” Sam sighed as he smiled just a bit. “I’m telling you, it was nothing," 

   "Uh huh,” Dean clicked his tongue as they walked along. “I’m sure," 

  "I promise you, it was nothing-" 

   "Sam!” Sam was interrupted by yet another memory and by no surprise it was another one involving (Y/N). 

   They pounced upon him like cat, pulling him into a nearly bonecrushing hug. 

   "I was so worried, where have you been?“ Sam had gone away for a day or two, just for a little getaway from Stamford. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going and he stupidly left his phone at home. He wouldn’t need to contact anyone, he knew how to fend for himself after all. It was such a peaceful trip that Sam honestly didn’t even think about the consequences that was until (Y/N) was cupping his cheeks and staring at him with tear filled eyes. 

   "I’m sorry (Y/N),” Sam whispers, his heart clenching as he stared at (Y/N). Even after all these years seeing their expression still hurt him, seeing their worried face and pained eyes still had the same reaction as it did years ago. “I was jus out on a trip, I didn’t think to tell anyone,”

    “You fucking idiot,” (Y/N) chides although their watery chuckled completely betrayed their words. “I was so fucking scared, I was damn near close to calling the police. God- fuck you you fucking prick.” Without any warning (Y/N) leaned in, connecting their lips to Sam’s. It was their first kiss and god it had been amazing. (Y/N)’s lips felt absolutely perfect against Sam’s and if he could he’d have let them linger there all day but there was something pulling him away, forcing their lips apart. 

   "I love you (Y/N),“ Sam spews, like word vomit that he simply could not control. "I love you so much,” It was the first time he’d ever admitted to loving someone. He hadn’t even ever told his father or brother that he directly loved them, (Y/N) was a first. Sam’s breath was shaky as he looked at (Y/N), his heart pounding wildly just as it had the day he said those three words to them for real.

    “I love you too Sammy,” (Y/N) sobbed happily as they threw their arms around his neck (or at least the best they could). “I love you so fucking much,” Sam sighed again as he wrapped his arms around their waist, tugging them impossibly closer to him. His scruffy face nuzzled into their neck and he couldn’t help it when his own soft little cry fell from his lips. God- he missed (Y/N) so much, more than anyone ever; he’d give anything to be back there, back in their arms, safe and happy, oblivious to the evil around him- 

    “Sam.” Sean’s voice is softer now than it was the first time. “Sam c'mon on, we gotta go,” Sam didnt want to leave, he couldn’t leave (Y/N) a second time but he knew he had to. So with the utmost reluctancy Sam let go, letting Dean drag him away from the best thing to ever happen to him. 


   Now they were walking down a lonely stretch of road, different from either one of their memories. The air felt heavy, depressed really, so much so that it was nearly impossible for Sam to breathe, or perhaps those were the tears building behind his eyes that were making functioning so hard. 

   "So what happened to them?“ Dean asks softly, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Sam sighs as he walks on, heart heavier than it had been in a long time.

    "After a run in with a ghost I decided that it was too dangerous, the whole together thing." 

   "So you left them?" 

   "Yep, left them heartbroken too.”

   "I’d imagine so, seems like you two were really close.“

    "Yeah,” Sam sighs as he looks behind him, back at his happiest memories, or at least where they used to be, for now it was just the same never ending stretch of road. 

   "So- did you really love them?“ Dean knew he was treading on thin ice but he was curious, mighty curious.

    "Yes,” Sam nods, looking down at the water covered asphalt to avoid looking at anything else. “More than anything in this world," 

    "Y'know…if we ever get out of here you should give them call, get some closure.” Sam chuckles dryly, a harsh sound that hurt his throat.

    “They probably hate me now or some shit.”

    “Never too late to try,” Dean smiled softly as he walked on, down the endless stretch of highway that only seemed to get longer as they walked. Yeah…maybe Sam would give them a call if he ever got out. That was his motivation now, a phone call to (Y/N) if he survived.


    Sam sighed as he picked up his phone, eyeing the small thing warily.

    “Come on man,” Dean said trough a mouth of food. “You promised yourself," 

   "Yeah, yeah,” Sam dials in their number, or the number they had previously used years ago. “I know,” He stared at the numbers hesitantly, his heart racing uncontrollably. This was it. If no one answered that would be it, that’s the last time he’d ever try to contact (Y/N). 

  So with a shaking hand Sam pressed call, waiting for some message stating that the number was now disconnected or something but to Sam’s surprise the thing actually began to ring. The number was still up and running, that meant either (Y/N) hadn’t ever changed their number or someone else was now using it. 

   Sam gulped as it continued to ring again and again and again, it was almost to the last ring when it suddenly stopped, meaning that someone had finally picked up.

    “Hello?”

    “Hi, uh (Y/N)? This is Sam Winchester-”

Listen Julie. 

I love Evak. I adore them! I loved all the little things we saw in this clip! It’s the stuff fan fic is made of. (literally I have read 50 fics this month and everything in that clip was in them) Will I reblog every post about 30 times? SURE WILL! So, no question. Me? Evak trash for life. Number 1 ship to end all ships. 

BUT

This was episode 6. That is episode 6 out of 10. The main is Sana. What I want, what I have wanted all season, was to see her be HER. WHAT I WANT, RIGHT NOW, IS TO SEE HER RESOLVE HER CONFLICTS! WHAT I WANT!!! IS TO SEE!!! HER !!!! HAVE!!! SOMEONE!!! REACH!!! OUT!!!! 

and I want answers. oh, BOY. DO I WANT SOME FUCKING ANSWERS. 6 episodes in and I’m still asking:

  • What really happened between Mikael and Even?
  • Why don’t Chris and Sana hang out?????????
  • Why does Sana know about Even’s attempted suicide but NOT about what caused it or Even’s episode?
  • Who punched Isak?
  • Why did her and Jamilla end their friendship on bad terms?
  • Who bullied Sana at her old school?
  • Did her parents know?
  • Did Elias?
  • Is that why he’s so overprotective?
  • When will Sana confront Yousef? Noora? Vilde? Sara?
  • Is Noora’s password being said out loud like that even relevant? 
  • What the fuck with the carrots?
  • Why isn’t Sana practicing her faith more? (why aren’t we seeing it???)
  • Who told Noora about Willhelm?
  • Why did Vilde completely turn her back on Sana?
  • What the fuck happened to Kossegruppa?
  • Where the fuck are Jonas and Mahdi???? 

I’m sure I have more questions but you get the point. There are only 4 episodes left in the FINAL season of Skam.

Get 👏 Yo 👏 Shit 👏 Together  👏 👏 👏

5

Robb x Reader

Requested By Anon

Warnings: sex, smut


“I heard (Y/N) rode up and arrived in the evening?” Catelyn said as she and Robb walked together through the camp.

“Yes apparently she insisted even when Bran requested she stay for safety.” He said through a sigh before chuckling when he spotted you up ahead.

Keep reading

You may be as strong as Superman
But even you have weaknesses.
I love every single bit of you,
Even the parts that you find hideous.
You hide your insecurities
In hopes that they’ll disappear but
I want you to know that I will
Love them until you finally learn to
Fully love yourself.
You’ll always be safe with me
So don’t carry the weight of the world.
I’m here to lift some of those burdens
Off of your shoulders and
I hope you’ll let me.
We’re in this together like
We have been since the day we met.
You don’t have to pretend to be strong
Because showing your weaknesses
And fears is what true strength is.
Trust takes time to develop
But I promise you that I’ll be here
When you’re ready to break down
All of your walls.
I will be here through it all.
Don’t be afraid of yourself because
You’re beautiful inside out.
I hope that one day you’ll be able to
See what I see.
—  Fears can kill #13 // S.T
Perfect - Min Yoongi

So this little imagine was a request by an anon, and she wanted it based on Perfect by Ed Sheeran. I love the song and I tried to do my best to kinda fit into it. I hope y’all like it.

-Bea


Originally posted by younas

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader 

Type: Fluff

Word Count: 881 


Right after getting out of the restaurant, you and Yoongi were talking about what happened this week. You would always go out on the weekends; sometimes just to chill at each other houses, or to go to the movies. Some days, like today, you would have dinner. You two used to call it your “little dates”, having been good friends for years, but no one never leveled up the relationship to something bigger. You were to shy to say anything. You knew he was your best friend and you liked him a lot, possibly love him, but you never had the guts to actually say anything to him. You were too afraid to open up, and confess your feelings to him and end up alone, making your awesome friendship turn into dust. One day, maybe, you could try to give him a hint or something, but not today.

Keep reading

6

The caption on the memorial above reads:

“Near this stone rest the remains of 889 UNION SOLDIERS, gathered from the Battle Fields of MECHANICSVILLE, SAVAGE-STATION, GAINES-MILLS, and the vicinity of COLD-HARBOR.”

Every Memorial Day weekend for the past seven years I’ve headed out to one of our local National Battlefield Cemeteries and taken photos. It is a sobering reminder of all that has been sacrificed to protect our freedom.

So have a great weekend. Party on the beach. Watch the Indy 500. Grill some steaks and drink some beer. Enjoy the freedoms we all share.

Then take just a few moments to reflect. It’s the least we can do.

anonymous asked:

Why doesn't it seem as if they are lovers?? 😂 not that i was hoping for a blatant show but i somehow i dont get the feeling that they are . . . Somehow more intimate? 🤣

Hahaha, well, i mean… being lovers doesn’t mean that they will carry you on their back all day and hold your hand every minute and kiss you until you can’t breathe, I think they’re still learning how to be lovers? this is Kaneki’s first.. girlfriend? *dies* it sounds so cute when I say it agskhdasdgasd, and it’s the same way for Touka, I like the whole idea of them being a bit dorky at the beginning with being mushy with each other, besides like the anon pointed out, maybe it’s been a couple weeks since they returned? so they can chill around each other without having to hold hands all the time or something, but I still want to see their cute moments, especially in front of others 😂  i’m just very glad in general that Kaneki looks happy, that’s all i ever wanted, even more if it’s thanks to Touka 

2

9/100 Days of Productivity

Blah caught a cold on tuesday so dop has been on hold! Unfortunate because now my weekend is very very busy, i have a deadline on monday and tuesday! Would much rather be reading the new Lord of Shadows!! So excited to read late into the nights woooh! Feel free to come and blabble about it to me bc i need someone to let all my feels out too!!!! 

Listening to - Barcelona (George Ezra)

Honestly I just wanna give a huge shout out to all the people, friends and family, bands and songs, strangers, books, movies, fandoms, sites, amazing sunsets and sun rises, for keeping me alive. I can’t thank each of you/thing enough. These last couple years have been hell and I really don’t know where I would be if it hadn’t been for all those people I made friends with ( @kaitiez464 @emilyyyyyyy-0 and a ton of other people :D ), or all those stories I read, or all those songs I listened to. Y'all have made such a huge impact on me (yes, every single on of you) and I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for keeping me going.

2

That coconut, courgette and red lentil dahl was an absolute revelation.
I eat so much better lately. I thought cutting out meat could make the impromptu picnic days of grab and go food more difficult but it doesnt seem to. Any other time I’d have just bought a cheap sandwich that wouldn’t have filled me up and god knows what kind of processed meat would’ve been in it.
And I may have bought the children cakes so that actually I can eat all those tarts because they’re a dream.

Okay, so theatres around my area have decided to close down King Athur, although it’s been only ten days from the release, due to its poor performance and, I don’t know, pirates? So it is clear that there won’t be any more increase in the no. of people who’s seen it and liked it, –which seems to be not many, sadly- until the DVD comes out.


And that leaves me… where? Fallen for a movie that has a small fandom and furthermore, a character that is not the main one? Great. I’m loving it.

anonymous asked:

Louis was in London yesterday tho no? 🤔 or did we have pics of him in la and I haven't seen them? Sorry I've been out all day!

Rumors of LA today, no pics that I’ve seen yet!

Masterlist

Here’s a masterlist of all my stories in one giant place for your convenience. IMPORTANT: if it doesn’t have a link, it means I’m currently working on it and I’ll let you know when it’s updated!

Big Cass/Colin Cassidy:

  • So You’ve Been Naughty, Huh? - when Cass finally returns home to his injured girlfriend after a nonstop 80 day tour, he finds out that she’s been naughty while he was away so punishment ensues. smut 
  • Forget the Towel - the reader forgets to grab a towel and asks Cass bring one, but when he walks into the bathroom to see the reader standing there naked and dripping wet, he cant help himself. smut
  • Definitely Not Sober - reader comes home from a night out with the girls and Cass takes care of her. fluff

Finn Balor

  • Let’s Take A Dip -  the reader and Finn decide to relax in the hot tub at the hotel after a stressful day at work and one thing leads to another. smut
  • NSFW Alphabet - smut

Sami Zayn:

  • Well, Since You Begged - the reader suffers an injury and her best friend Sami cares for her. Afterwards, Sami mentions feelings he has, leading up to domineering Sami plowing her into next week. smut
  • I Don’t Cheat - the reader and Sami are play fighting and it leads to some steamy bedroom playing instead. smut

Seth Rollins:

  • Car Naps and Feelings - the reader rides along to the next location for WWE RAW show with Finn Balor, Sami Zayn, and Seth Rollins. Things get a little cozy and personal in the car with the reader and Seth, causing some feelings to get exposed. fluff
  • NSFW Alphabet - smut
  • Early Morning Tease - the reader is home with her boyfriend Seth for the holidays. Seth goes out with his friends for a few drinks, but not before being teased before he leaves. fluff/smut

Threesomes:

  • Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns/Reader - Seth and Roman lose a tag team match and punish the reader with some dominating sex. smut
  • Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns/Reader - (Part 2 to “Tag Teamed") what happens after the three get to the hotel. smut
PSA: IMPORTANT

Would you guys like me to continue with characters weeks but have them reblogged since we’ve done most of the characters and there’s little to none left OR do all the remaining characters and stop the whole character’s week until a new profile comes out OR do a special day for their birthdays and reblog all their pictures on their birthday?

Please reply or reblog with your preferred number:

1 - continue with character’s week

2 - stop character’s week after doing all the characters

3 - special day for their birthday

4 - other (please write your suggestion)

I hope this works haha I’ve been in a dilemma for a while now.

Where TF have I been? Let me tell you. Okay. Here is an update about me and life and why I probably won’t be able to reply to your message/ask/etc for a bit, lack of posts and probably no fic updates for a while.

So, most of you probably know that I had to have gall bladder surgery about a month ago and that it went awry and I was in the hospital for a week. After I got out I spent a few miserable days throwing​ together a poster session for my thesis and then went to a major conference in my career field to present it, which went remarkably well considering my mobility issues and the nausea from my pain meds (and that’s probably thanks to @moxieweed and all her help, amazing friend is amazing).

Anyway after getting back home I ended up back in the hospital almost immediately, this time for blood clots. Im still in the hospital, have been​ here since the 12th, may be here another week while the doctors try to get my anticoagulant meds figured out. They had to operate on my leg to get one of the clots out of the artery behind my knee and it went terribly bc apparently I am resistant to the most common anticoagulant. So now I have a bad leg I’m trying to relearn how to walk on and apparently I have an autoimmune disorder.

The bad things that go along with this are one: my thesis is not finished, graduation is on the 9th, so I have to take a credit for summer quarter and defend sometime late June/early July as opposed to, you know, being done. And two: the power cable for my laptop died about five days ago, leaving me with nothing but my phone and shitty hospital TV for entertainment. Some of my classmates are working on getting a new cord to me, hopefully soon.

So, that’s what is happening over here. Just fyi. Will hopefully update once I’m home with my poor lonely cat and not stuck here in this starch white hell of blood draws and mediocre food getting woken up five times a night. Hope y'all are well. Send fic recs.

sorry i cant shut up but im freaking out so im just. gonna keep typing until i calm down, although im pretty sure that’s not how it works lmao.

reasons i feel like shit today:

  • my friend hasnt responded to my text from 2 days ago (during which i cancelled on weekend plans) which is pretty much a guarantee that she’s mad at me
  • i have no energy to do anything at all, including make posts for femslash week, even though that’s literally all i Want to do
  • this is superficial but since i stopped taking birth control my skin has been horrible again and it’s only getting worse and i have another photoshoot next weekend and the thought of being so exposed w/o makeup, even for like. 15 minutes. make me want to cry. i feel so ugly this week and i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate
  • i had an awful dream that me and my sister hated each other and now im so sad and so tense, u know how dream feelings sometimes Linger even tho they’re not true bc they just feel so real?
  • im so stressed about my friend because we keep having these weird not-quite-fights in which she’s disappointed in me and then i try 110% to make her like me again and it’s f&^%ing draining.
  • i still feel physically sick w anxiety & on the verge of a panic attack!!
  • i still feel like crying!!
Tiny Announcement!

(( hey guys! sorry I’ve been inactive for a few days! That thing planned on wednesday turned into a sleepover and all that, and ever since I got back I’ve been working on my dating sim game cause I’ve been neglecting it recently.

So due to this weekend being memorial day and whatnot also, I have no clue if I have any plans and whatevs (I know I got plans Sunday definitely) but I’ll probs not come back on here til around Tuesday or earlier, depending if I have the time. So yeah sorry for those who are waiting on me as far as threads/replies go. Plus Since I’ve decided to use a different game engine for my game I kinda have to rewrite everything (as well as learninG PYTHON //SCREAMS) I’ll use this weekend for that. Anyway thanks for understanding guys!))

i really wish i could have talked my way out of this wedding thing. i mean i feel bad because i haven’t really been doing anything at all and this is Some Social Interaction. but it’s a bunch of people i don’t know or don’t care about and it’s just Anxiety Hell for me.

i just want a quiet room and someone to hug for a day then i’ll be good.