i have an obsession with clouds

i just want to choose something small every day to fall in love with. how often do i really just like… study the heck out of a sunbeam. learn a new word and find out how to use it, teach it to others. watch birds because birds are nice. find a new favorite color. to find out something about each person in my life to compliment them on that’s genuine and better than “you’re pretty,” i mean realizing they always get water for other people before they sit down at lunch or how neat their notes are or how they always have a good pun. i want to listen harder and talk a little less and say more important stuff. and i want to watch out for stuff to just obsess over like a cool cloud or a tree and just. learn stuff from people. ask more questions about how her hair is so silky and just. fall in love with everybody.

💜A Tarot Spread For Gaining Closure and Letting Go 💜

I made this spread the other night, I’ve recently been pondering a friendship that I never really let go of. This spread is intended to help you gain closure; it could be a relationship, an event, situation, or person. Whatever you need help letting go of and healing from. I hope this is able to help others the way it helped me. As always, I love you and wish you the best.

First Card: This card represents something you may already know but it can help you gain a clear view on why you’re still thinking about the person/situation. Why is this something I’m still thinking about?

Second Card: This card should help you understand why everything played out the way it did, it can be hard to gain closure when you don’t understand why something happened. This helps you understand the point of the relationship, situation, etc. (I.e. did they use you, was it a learning experience, poor communication, etc.) What was the point of this happening?

Third Card: One difficult thing about closure is not understanding what you were supposed to learn. It can be heard to look back and reflect without emotions clouding our judgment. What can you take away from this experience to make you stronger? What have I learned from this?

Fourth Card: Cards four through six will all be self-care and healing cards albeit for different things. This card represents what you can or should do to heal emotionally. What can I do to heal emotionally?

Fifth Card: It can be hard on you mentally in situations that need closure, I personally loose sleep and start to obsess over it in unhealthy ways. Try to find ways to remind yourself to take care of yourself, drink enough water, take a nap, etc. What can I do to heal mentally?

Sixth Card: It can also take a toll on you spiritually. We’re all affected in different ways and that’s okay. What can I do to heal spiritually?

Seventh Card: This is the final card in the reading, this can represent the final outcome of you following this advice or perhaps it’s another piece of advice. It’s what you need to hear most. Is there anything else that can help me gain closure, if not what is the outcome??

You can see some of my readings and spreads here and you can get your own reading by me here.

Advice on Getting to Know INFPs (like, REALLY getting to know them, like on a deeply platonic or romantic level) Part One

from the perspective of an INFP: yours truly, Anika Ashbourne.

-INFPs are “idea people”. We’d much rather not talk about the football game or bland politics or it is what it is. No, let’s talk about art and potential and possibilities and theories of the universe and favorite books and why this and how that and why not and what if. Stereotypically, we’re wide-eyed innocent children in the bodies of adults who have our head too far in the clouds to ever come down. While that’s quite an exaggeration, we are very imaginative and abstract in our thinking. We love love love new ideas, new concepts, new things to be obsessed with. Because INFPs are constantly on the lookout for, as I like to call them, “things that click”. A puzzle piece falls into place. A door unlocks, and you’re the key, and suddenly you’re our new favorite person in the world and please don’t go away because you mean very much to me for helping me develop myself or my ambitions further. Advice: to connect with an INFP, don’t be a dull-ass, ordinary, out-of-all-the-things-we-could-talk-about-you-choose-to-talk-about-this?! kind of people.

-We can tell what you’re trying to do. Just saying. If you’re trying to impress an INFP, they know. If you’re trying to bring down an INFP, they know. If you’re lying to an INFP, they know. If you’re pushing down your emotions in front of an INFP… Oh god, they know. The thing is, we won’t usually let you know that we know, but we know. We can sense it. We have a way of reading people subconsciously. The thing is, we’re so conscious of how we do things and how different our ways of doing things are from other people’s ways, we start to pick up on exactly how each kind of person tends to do things and what the signs are that they’re doing the thing. We do all this without realizing we’re analyzing you, and it gives us a grip on what we think of you. Advice: be real and as honest as you can to INFPs. Don’t try to trick us, because we’re hard to deceive and you’ll lose all our trust and respect at once. Instead, be sincere and show us you’re worth getting to know, too– which isn’t that hard if you’re being genuine, because we like to really know people, too.

-INFPs are reserved. Yes, we’re the quiet ones in the corner with our notebooks or the kid that never shuts up when they’re talking to friends but never opens their mouth around other people, but it’s more than that. We’re reserved. It takes a while to really get to know an INFP. Some say we’re even more reserved than the INFJs or INTs. This is because we’re open to pain, we let it sting us when it comes and let our emotions flood us so we can taste the tides, but we’d rather avoid it when we can. An INFP that’s been hurt a lot in the past- and, warning, most INFPs have been- is less likely to want to get hurt in the future unless they really believe is worth it. Yes, we’re afraid to get hurt. We are not afraid you’ll hurt us, we are just afraid of the flood that, you have to admit, is sure to come again if you really deeply connect with someone. So we defend ourselves with layers. Hundreds and hundreds of layers, and the longer you stay with us, the more time you spend with us, the more we begin to trust you… those layers peel off. And you’ll know because that’s when we’re incredibly silly around you and fearless in expressing our ideas and we will defend you from every evil thing that comes your way at whatever the personal cost. Until then, we tend to appear as the shy butterfly flittering around on its own, a little ways away from the others. Advice: be patient and be persistent, and earn our trust by being a person we can feel comfortable and happy around.

-INFPs feel everything at an overwhelmingly deep level… or almost not at all. If you hurt us, you’ve either destroyed us for a while or you’ve only chipped a crack in the layered walls of our castle. If you make us happy, we’re basically either tempted to kiss you and be close to you forever and all eternity and return the favor, or we simply appreciate it and move on. In the overwhelming sense, we will remember it for the rest of our lives and we’ll write about it and sing about it and make art about it and let it fuel is in our quests, or we’ve already forgotten it. Advice: I just hope you realize what you’re doing will either have a very long-term affect or no affect at all. If you’re not sure, you can always ask. INFPs are very willing to help you out, especially if it means further developing our own self or yourself, and you can always always just ask them if what you’ve done is good or bad or nothing. And if it’s bad, apologize ASAP and talk to them about it. If it’s good, well done and keep it up!

the hosts aesthetics

i was just thinking about this while looking through weheartit and i wanted to elaborate on their aesthetics. i based most of these on personal headcanons (i have one about kyoya having an obsession with berries, its weird) and things that are canon. i made the instagrams using this template. these are short but sweet, and i hope you like them :))

-admin liv


tamaki: gardens with a lot of roses, landscapes, castles, dogs, sheet music, and antique pianos.

kyoya: leather bound books, expensive ass cars, city skylines, smoke, berries, and dark violets.

hikaru: neon lights, lillies of the valley, rain, decorative pillows, and wreck this journals.

kaoru: paint mixing videos, lavender, blue skies with a few clouds, record players, and snapbacks.

haruhi: daffodils, freshly cut grass, “old school” books, fjallraven kanken book bags, and fancy sushi.

honey: classy pastries, carnivals, lace, cotton candy, stuffed animals, and pink tulips.

mori: tea, sakura trees, autumn leaves, minimalist poetry, and the american horror story title. 

Killing Stalking: Portraying Abuse is not Glorifying Abuse

NOTE: If you don’t like Killing Stalking, that is absolutely fine. This post is not to tell people that they are wrong, or that their opinions are wrong. I am simply throwing my own thoughts into the ring as I’ve been mulling it over for a while. Don’t like the manga? You are well within your right to do so and I respect your opinion.

Anti Claim: Killing Stalking glorifies abuse.

I’m going to go all King Onion on your asses and pull up the definition of glorify.

Let’s ignore the first definition here as that does not really apply to what we’re talking about here. Let’s examine the second one: describe or present as admirable, especially unjustifiably.

Killing Stalking is very fresh in my mind, having binge read it all this week, and nowhere-and I mean nowhere-do I recall ever reading Sangwoo’s abuse or Yoon Bum’s stalking ever being glorified by anyone or anything.

Not even Yoon Bum, who was infatuated with Sangwoo to the point of breaking into his house and stalking him, ever sat down and went, “Isn’t it amazing how Sangwoo beats me around the house like a dog? Isn’t he awesome? I just love it so much! He’s such a great guy, everyone should totally look up to him and follow by his example!” 

No. Most of the time he’s terrified. He tries to poison Sangwoo; he attempts to escape multiple times; he is constantly afraid of the possibility of what could be done to him next; he is mortified by Sangwoo’s body count; he outright REJECTS Sangwoo’s advances in chapter 27; he spends most of the manga scared shitless.

Nor does any other character in the manga look at Yoon Bum and think, “God, isn’t it admirable how persistent he is in chasing that Sangwoo fellow? You know what they say, determination equals success! So what if he broke into the house, how else is he supposed to get what he wants?”

No. Nearly every character who encounters Yoon Bum finds him strange. He makes them uncomfortable because of how he acts. The girl who befriended him in school, for example, didn’t think he was cute or endearing for how he treated her, she ignored him and eventually lashed out at him. 

But wait! Yoon Bum constantly seeks out intimacy with Sangwoo, doesn’t that mean he doesn’t care about the abuse?

One of the major themes in Killing Stalking is Stockholm Syndrome. Yoon Bum already has a great deal of unhinged emotions for Sangwoo before he is even captured and a lot of his behaviour could be linked to that. I do not believe for a second that Yoon Bum is of sound mind and I do believe that a lot of his actions are related to that and his ever growing case of Stockholm Syndrome, coupled with the twisted obsession he already had before his capture. But, despite this, he still does not glorify the abuse either.

For example, in chapter eight, he uses sexuality as a means of hopefully distracting Sangwoo from the question of whether to torture him with a knife or a fish hook. It is a tactic. A means of trying to persevere himself because sex is definitely a lesser evil in comparison to torture with a sharp object. Of course, it doesn’t work, and Yoon Bum ends up hanging from the ceiling in a noose while Sangwoo gets sexual gratification from hearing him gasp his name. This situation is not portrayed as enjoyable for the victim, nor is it viewed as such in Yoon Bum’s eyes. Yoon Bum is terrified to the point of begging his captor for help; to let him down; to just stop because he’s in pain and he’s scared and he’s suffocating. Despite having an unhinged obsession with Sangwoo, never does it cloud Yoon Bum’s judgement on the abuse he is receiving. 

His view on Sangwoo, I believe, is a question for another day as that opens up the conversation on Stockholm syndrome and this post is already getting long enough without that.

Portraying abuse is not glorifying abuse!

Killing Stalking is very detailed in the abuse that it portrays, yes. Does that mean it’s glorifying it? No. It is a psychological horror with gory elements throughout. It is advertised as a psychological horror with gory elements throughout. And yet people are still shocked when they read the manga and *le gasp!* the story contains psychological horror with gory elements throughout.

Do all horror narratives glorify abuse now? Do horror movies rated R glorify murder and rape and abuse? No, it is simply part of the story they are telling. (Mind I’m referring to decent horror movies, not torture porn stories and budget B movies).

But wait! The antis might cry! We’ve caught you out then! Is Killing Stalking not torture porn, then?

Uhhhhh, no. On the surface, Killing Stalking is a story about an unhinged serial killer who holds his equally unhinged stalker captive in his home. 

But it is more than that. 

Beyond the unavoidable torture Sangwoo places upon Bum-yes, I say unavoidable, he’s a serial killer for Christ’s sake they weren’t going to be playing Patty Cake this whole time-the complex psychological elements run deep. Bum’s torture, which is growing lesser and lesser as the chapters progress (NOT that that excuses anything that Sangwoo has done up until now, it must be noted) has always been a side plot to the much more intriguing and complex themes of mental illness, morale; and dependency. Especially as the story has moved forward, it is becoming less about Sangwoo throwing Bum about the house and more about what is going on inside their heads.

I think I know what the antis are upset about and they don’t even realise it, and it’s most definitely not Killing Stalking as a piece of media. It is a lot of fans’ reaction to Killing Stalking. People ship Sangwoo and Bum together; make art; and probably write smutty fics for them despite the abuse Bum is put through at Sangwoo’s hands. Some-please note that I am saying SOME here, not all, in fact not even the majority do this-bypass the complex themes and just read it for the torture. Which they are well within their rights to do. But these fans don’t write Killing Stalking, Koogi does. And Koogi has worked as hard as she can to make sure that the abuse is not glorified or justified by any character in the work. She even places trigger warnings on her sensitive chapters. Would someone who wants to make abuse look great do that?

But I have never even seen any of the people who want to read it for the torture say, “Isn’t abuse awesome? Isn’t Sangwoo’s treatment of Bum just swell? Isn’t Bum’s stalking so endearing?” Nor has such thoughts ever been expressed in the manga. Most, if not all, of the Killing Stalking fandom know full well that the character’s behaviour is fucked up. A lot of us aren’t even here for that. We’re here for the psychological elements that make us think and spark debates and posts just like this one.

Koogi’s work, from her art style, to her story, to her determination to continue working for her fans even when she’s in poor health, is what’s admiring. Koogi has produced a thought provoking manga and it is not her that is glorifying the abuse in Killing Stalking. I will not deny the existence of KS fans who probably have glorified the abuse, but Koogi’s work should not be judged due to the reaction of some fans. We are of our own minds, and cannot control the actions of others. 

Killing Stalking is an amazing psychological horror and I can’t wait to see where it goes. It in no way glorifies abuse. At least as far as I can see. Koogi is a genius and I’m really looking forward to seeing more of her work.

I’m up for debating anyone on this, as long as you’re respectful and decent about it. Opening dialogue between both sides of the argument, I think, is really important, and is the only true way of getting different thoughts; opinions; and ideas out there. So please feel free to PM me! ^_^

Okay, I’m done now xP

His Cinderella

Summary: On the run from a crazy ex, Y/N runs up and kisses this random yet handsome guy. Oblivious to the fact that she’s capturing her greatest hero, The Flash’s mind, she goes on with her life. Though what happens on their next meet? Will Prince charming finally find his Cinderella?

Category: Falling in love
030: “Can I kiss you?”

Pairing: Barry Allen x doctor!reader
Words: 3155
Warning: none that I’m aware of… I used the word hell?

A/N: So just found out I’m gonna do my English exam next Friday. For both practice and pleasing you lovelies, I thought I’d try to write even more this upcoming week – though I’m not sure how this brilliant win/win idea will work out IRL, so don’t hold your breaths…:/

ϟϟϟϟϟ

Can I kiss you?!” A girl popped up in front of Barry. She was out of breath, her forehead shining from the sweat after a what-seemed-like-a long run. Just when Barry was about to answer, her lips met his. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she had taken him by surprise, he would have noticed so much more about her. Like the way her eyes sparkled when their gazes met, the way her hair seemed to perfectly frame her head, the way her chapped lips glowed in the daylight.

But she did take him by surprise, and all he could think of, were how those chapped, yet soft lips felt against his. It wasn’t an ordinary setting for Barry (to have random girls coming up kissing him). Though for some reason, it felt natural. So he closed his eyes and started kissing back – a very un-Barry and bold move, that he instantly regretted when the warm feeling disappeared not long after.

“Thanks! You’re a real hero!” It was just by pure luck, that Barry managed to get a slightly better look at her before she ran. The last thing he saw being a pair of red cheeks and Y/E/C eyes. It certainly was a way to brighten up his day – who wouldn’t have liked to get kissed by a girl? Though at the same time, Barry still felt something fishy about what had just happened, and he was dying to know why the sudden urge for the beautiful girl to kiss him: it wasn’t like that happened on a daily basis in Central City.

Keep reading

Updated index of all stories, series, and poems (September 16, 2016)

Transfigurations: A small, self-published collection of my favorite short stories from 2015.

Individual Stories

2016

A Life Worth Living: Big changes lead to bigger results.
An Artist’s Canvas: The beauty of symmetry.
Allison’s Loss: My daughter is devastated by the death of her friend.
All Thumbs: My embarrassing habit.
A Very Bad Place to Hide: Maybe even the worst.
Amy’s Wish: Blow away the eyelash and make a wish!
An Unlucky Samaritan: Think twice before stopping to help.
Assisted Suicide: He begged me to help him die.
Attempts to Repair the Irreparable: How do you move on?
Bad Sex: Has this ever happened to you and your partner?
Bluebirds: Possibly the most reprehensible thing I’ve ever written.
Bluefin: Use caution when poaching an endangered species.
Body Hair Removal: I learned a valuable lesson.
Butt Stuff: The activity - not the other thing.
Charles Robert Olevsky: Ever Google yourself?
Coping Mechanisms: Life after losing a husband and a daughter.
Cracks in the Foundation: A relationship on the edge.
Dial Tone: What’s going on with my phone?
Dilation and Evacuation: A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Double Dare: The long-lost episode never seen in the US.
Elective Surgery: I just want him to be happy.
ExpressionCaptioner.com: This website is seriously weird.
Family Tree: A unique family tradition is revealed.
Farm to Table: Fucking hipsters.
For Lena and Clair: Trapped after an earthquake.
He Went Ahead: My friends and I were into urban exploration.
House Sounds: What do we keep hearing?
I Dream of Names and Cancer: My eternal nightmare.
If Anyone Asks: An old farmer notices something about his scarecrow.
I’ll Never Wear a Condom Again: No way, no how.
In Praise of Our God: A helpful neighbor.
Jim Jameson’s Pumpkins: A dead farmer’s secrets.
Little Cows: Meet the milkmaid.
Making Their Dad Proud: A family that plays together…
Malique, part 1: An older couple adopts a troubled boy.
Medical Issue: What’s the stuff I found on a rock?
My Brother’s Fall: Horror deep below the Iraqi desert.
My Sister Found the Coolest Thing!: You’ve gotta hear about it.
My Trouble With Fairies: They’re so mischievous and unpredictable!
Nests: Ah, the great outdoors.
Otter: I’ve always wanted to be one.
Phone Sex: It all started when I realized my iPhone was self-lubricating.
Pool Cover: I almost drowned when I was 13.
Pray Away: Conversion therapy for deviant behavior.
Prosopagnosia: After an accident, my husband couldn’t recognize us.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice: What can be better?
Quarry: Trying to beat the heat on a summer day.
Rats in the Barn: An exterminator’s apprentice.
Recycling: Parents try to understand their depressed daughter.
Regarding Danny and Micah Stevenson: Two brothers rely on one another.
Roo: An old man watches a girl grow up.
Ropes: Be careful what you eat.
Safety: Our grandfather was obsessed with it.
Seed of Man, Pollen of Angels: A family tradition.
Skincare Diary: My acne was getting out of hand.
Soft Teeth: A man used to sneak into my room at night.
Still a Family: Two sisters have lunch while waiting for their parents.
Stop Being Such Babies: The woods aren’t scary, for fuck’s sake.
The Bleakness Before Our Old Eyes: The Universe tasted us that night.
The Blissful Insensate: An experiment goes terribly wrong.
The Cotard Delusion: A new drug has a frightening side-effect.
The Day I Started Believing In Ghosts: I’m still in shock.
The Face in the Clouds: A meteorological anomaly? Or something else?
The Floor is Lava: We all used to play that game, right?
The Least Satisfying Explanation: And the biggest understatement I’ve made.
The Little Ghost: That nagging voice inside your head.
The Lord of Hosts: Lice
The Old Mine Outside Town: Everyone was too scared to go in. I wasn’t.
The Only Thing That Matters: Zombies attack a supermarket.
The Tomb of the Builders: Divers looking for treasure find something evil.
The Wisdom of Moms: Mother knows best.
To Adore: Our beautiful baby girl.
To the Kind Folks at WebMD: Just a couple questions.
Tunnel Rat: My grandfather told us the worst story I’ve ever heard. Seriously.
Uncle Liam: I never told the real story about how he died.
Walnuts: A true story from a few years ago.
What’s Wrong With My Sister?: Anyone know?
Whistleblower: I can’t keep this secret anymore.
Why I Don’t Hike Anymore: Not what you might think.

2015

A Curious Dog: My dog won’t stop pawing at a wall in the basement.
Alternative Medicine: A wife treats her husband with an old remedy.
Bitumen: A man who loves dinosaurs.
Body Cast: The worst thing that can happen when you’re immobilized.
Centipedes: The other worst thing.
Christmas Morning With Danny and His New Puppy: Danny gets a puppy.
Comfort Food: Anything to help fill that void.
Diary of a Woman in New Hampshire: Found a diary. Wtf.
Division: Nothing is right.
Dumbwaiter: A family learns something about their house.
Fertility Treatments: Some people are desperate to have a baby.
Fluids, part 1: Monique: Just gross.
Great Potential: A lady who loves children.
Instantiations: An AI gets powerful and utilitarianism rears its head.
Licks From a Bear: Skull + electric drill = story.
Malcolm: You know those floaty things in your eyes?
My Constellation: Want to be sad? This will make you sad.
My Sweet Boy: A mom who loves her son.
My Wife, the Artist: A couple who loves Halloween.
Network Security: Two friends get a glimpse of a Russian science lab.
Ouroboros: Why cut when you can cut off?
Pretty Little Bugs: A new job as a cameraman.
Round Faces: My daughter keeps complaining about monsters.
Snapshot of a New Man: Evil (Inspiration for The Coronation Cycles series.)
Teeny-Tiny: Katie wants to lose weight.
The Chernobyl Abomination: My father saw something he shouldn’t have.
The Gray in Girl: A man finds a girl on the side of the road.
Under My Teeth: My mouth is screaming.
Uplift: A brilliant scientist works to improve the human condition.
What He Told Me: Evil (Inspiration for The Coronation Cycles series.)
Wiggle: Claustrophobia, maybe?
Windows to the Soul: A child burns.

Story Series

Tales from Social Media (in progress)

Something horrible is happening to me on Tumblr
Something horrible is happening to me on Facebook
Something horrible is happening to me on Reddit
Something horrible is happening to me on Grindr
Something horrible is happening to me on Google+
Something horrible is happening to me on Myspace
Something horrible is happening to me on Pokemon Go

Runners (in progress)

Prelude, 2/2

Slough: part 1
Slough: part 2

Before, 6/6

Far Too Little Progress
Far Too Little Air
Far Too Little Pleasure
Far Too Little Autonomy
Far Too Little Courage
Far Too Little Sanity

Interlude, 1/1

3D Printing

During, 6/6

Far Too Much Blood
Far Too Many Flies
Far Too Many Mushrooms
Far Too Much Distortion
Far Too Many Steps
Far Too Much Sex

After, 4/6

Just Enough Illumination
Barely Enough Contraception
Not Enough Interrogation
Never Enough Bones

Related Evidence, 1/

The Exquisite Pleasure of Physical Degeneration

The Abyssal Plain (in progress)
In our quest to drill for more and more oil, we finally went too deep.

Part 1

Tiny Wet Footprints (in progress)

Part 1     Part 2

Fairfield County (on hold)

Part 1: Lake Mohegan and the Cascades

What I’ve Seen (in progress)
I was diagnosed with childhood schizophrenia after experiencing a series of traumatic events. I was told they never really happened. But I know they did.

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4    
Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8
Part 9

The Coronation Cycles (in progress)
Hers were strategies of disintegration.

Cycle One: The Purpose of Joy
Cycle Two: The First Steps Toward Ascension
Cycle Three: The Christmas Party
Cycle Four: Dashcam Audio Evidence, 01022016
Cycle Five: The Wet Nurse
Cycle Six: The Drooling Womb of the Sky


Sockets (on hold)
Craigslist allows one to meeting interesting people.

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3

Poetry

A Wandering Stream
Benefactors
Colossus
Extinguish the Stars
Glissando
Sirius
Validation

Unsettling Stories is on Facebook.

Mystic Mountain
April 7, 2017

Somehow the tiniest canvases still take me just as long to paint. This is a 2x2 incher and I spent over an hour on this. Probably because I was obsessing about the clouds for waaay too long. I got some more tiny brushes but none as tiny as I want them to be, sigh. I do love Bob’s colorful bushes though. I could spend hours on those alone. But I didn’t because I had to leave my house so this is it.

Bob’s Wisdom: Everybody should have a friend. Friends are so important.
Hold my Hand Dammit- Bucky Barnes X Reader

Prompt: Bucky is timid about touching you because he is still unsure about his strength and his arm.

Word Count: 2009

Warnings: None (:

Young love in the twenty first century was something quite new to Bucky. You had liked Bucky forever, but it had never occurred to you that he could ever feel the same way, so you just let your heart ache for the man with the gleaming metal arm. But after months of longing looks, blushed cheeks, and soft smiles, Bucky had made the first move, surprising the both of you. Of course you agreed, falling harder than ever before, pouring your whole being into this relationship. You had only officially been dating for about two weeks now, and Bucky was still on the fringe with the whole “PDA” lovey dovey thing, preferring to take it rather slow. And plus he was still unsure of his strength and was very cautious not to hurt you, his self consciousness was both endearing and frustrating. His metal arm was the subject of his utmost caution around you, hardly even letting you touch it, afraid of what it could do.

As of now you two were laying on the couch, your legs were draped over his lap, his hand was lying flat on your thigh, his metal fingers a cool heavy weight on your thigh. You paid minimal attention to the episode of Grey’s Anatomy playing on the screen, meanwhile Bucky was entranced, following every character’s plot, gasping every few minutes. You were scrolling through your phone, putting funny snapchat filters on your unaware boyfriend. You put the dog filter on him, a quiet giggle leaving your lips. He turned toward you, raising his eyebrows at you as you took a video of him looking confused, the filter moving along with him.

“What’s so funny, let me see,” He inquired. You sat up, scooting closer to him to show him the video, as you leaned on him you could feel him tense up slightly. You ignore this, leaning closer so he could see better. You played the video of him on your phone, a wide smile played on his lips.

“See, your a dog,” you clarified. You sent him the snap and posted it to your story. After that was done you leaned your head on him, and intertwined your fingers in his metal ones. He tore his hand away from yours, bringing it into his lap.

“Uh, do you want some snacks?” He asked, not wanting any time for you to ask about his odd behavior. He got up, making his way toward the kitchen.

“Uh, sure,” you agreed, getting up to follow him into the kitchen, a pang of doubt about this relationship hitting you in the stomach, you shoved it down, telling yourself you were only overthinking it. You caught up to him, this time intertwining your flesh hands, his palm was warm and calloused against yours. Again, he flinched as though he had been shocked, the current running through his muscles, his hand ripping from yours. Ok now this was NOT normal, even for over cautious Bucky. You continued your walk to the kitchen in silence, not knowing what to say or think. A throb of doubt once again pulsed through you, was this not going to work out after all? Did he just go out with you in the first place to be nice? Was he getting bored after only two weeks? All these questions raced through your head, each one worse than the last. Your speed thinking was interrupted by Bucky’s voice.
“Do you want popcorn or chips, or we could have candy?” he asked, rummaging around in the pantry for a snack.

“Um, I don’t care, whatever you want,” You replied. Tension hung in the air between your words, you wanted to, needed to fill the empty space with words, but nothing was coming out, you had nothing to say. You could not put into words your feelings about him, or how much you wanted to ask him why he was pulling away. You couldn’t find the words to say how much you hoped this wasn’t because something was wrong with you, or that he finally got to really know you and wanted out. So the silence hung there, driving a deeper and deeper wedge between the two of you with each passing second. He wanted to say something, to fill the void, but he just couldn’t express what he needed to, he didn’t know how. How does he tell the love of his life that he is afraid to touch her, not because he doesn’t love her, but because he loves her too much and is afraid to even lay a finger on her. Because the fear of hurting her overwhelms him, so much so that when she touches him he flinches like he has been slapped. But he can’t just leave you to wonder, he has to say something, anything, something to explain himself. Because he can see the confusion and doubt clouding your bright eyes, flooding your irises with uncertainty. Before either of you could decide on how to express yourselves, Tony’s voice rang loud and clear through your heads.

“Hey can you two lovebirds go out and get dinner tonight? Nobody feels like cooking. I don’t really care what you get, just anything but sushi, I can’t possibly do another night of Sushi, just because Thor is obsessed with it doesn’t mean we all have to suffer,” Tony murmured, throwing a fifty dollar bill on the counter and leaving with an orange in hand.  You glanced over at Bucky, he was already looking at you, something flickered in his eyes that you didn’t catch, he looked away. You grabbed the fifty off the counter.

“Alright, I’ll go, what do we want?” You offered. Bucky looked at you, his arms hanging limply by his sides, defeat written all over his face. Why was he acting so weird, oh how you would’ve liked to know. You debated asking, but decided to go get dinner first, maybe he needed some time to himself

“Chinese it is,” You decided for yourself, turning to leave.

“I’ll come with you,” Bucky announced. You nodded curtly, letting him follow you out of the building. You decided to walk the few blocks to the restaurant in the shadows of the setting sun. It was the end of a nice day outside, and the last few rays of warm sun were sinking down behind the skyscrapers. You and Bucky walked side by side, your arms occasionally brushing, your hips bumping in the rhythm of your steps. He didn’t flinch this time when yours hand grazed his, you grabbed his hand when your arm swung forward again, he didn’t pull away at first, but rather contemplated it. His face scrunched up, as if he were making some big decision, his sighed and let his hand fall out of yours. Your heart fell into your feet, a pit sat heavy in your stomach. You took a few long strides so you were ahead of him, not wanting your rejected gesture to hang between the two of you. He looked at you as you walked past, regret filling his thoughts, he shouldn’t’ve let you go.

You got to the chinese resturant, going along the line of hot trays and picking out a sweet, sticky, warm chinese feast for everyone back at the tower. As you paid and got change, you handed one of the bags to Bucky, your hand grazing his once more, he again flinched like he had been electrocuted. Despair and confusion was now replaced by rage. You paced out of the restaurant and out onto the street turning to face Bucky abruptly, almost running smack into his broad chest because he was following you so closely.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You snapped, setting the bags down on a table outside the restaurant. Bucky stammered for a minute, floundering over the words he wanted to say as they stuck to his throat.

“Why won’t you touch me? In fact you won’t even barely come within five feet of me without looking like you’re going to throw up! Why won’t you hold my hand? Are you done with me already? Do you already want to call it quits? Because if so you could just tell me instead of acting repulsed by me until I leave!” You shouted, everything you wanted so badly to know spewing from your lips in a desperate rage in an attempt to understand him. Angry tears began to drip down your cheeks, leaving wet, hot trails. People were beginning to stare as you flailed your arms wildly, crying, and shouting with all your might at the man with the gleaming metal arm holding a rather large bag of take out. Bucky finally got ahold of what he wanted to say, flinging the words at you like insults.

“You don’t think I love you [Y/n]! You don’t think that I love you so much that the fear of hurting you with my arm overwhelms me to the point that I can’t even touch you without this crippling fear that I will kill you?! Is that what you think, that I’m repulsed by you? You really think I could ever do anything other than love you with all my being? Because if you really don’t trust me to love you, maybe this isn’t going to work out.” Bucky yelled back, still holding the take out bag to his chest. Now more people were staring…

“Maybe it won’t work out,” You whispered, more tears rolling down your cheeks, finally coming to the realization that this might not be right. You looked at Bucky, his eyes hard and pensive.

“I want this to work,” he finally replied, after what seemed like years.

“Well when you flinch or pull away everytime we touch, that doesn’t really scream infatuation now does it,” you snapped. Bucky looked down at you, all tear stained cheeks and swollen red eyes. He noticed how beautiful your eyes looked after you cried, like the calm of water after a nasty storm, peaceful and still, but so full of life.

“I guess not,” Bucky admitted.

“I was just so afraid of hurting you. This arm had killed hundreds of people without any problem, I don’t even want to imagine what it could do to you if I got out of control. I guess I don’t trust myself,” he admitted, his shoulder slumping, as if they were just relieved of heavy weight.

“I trust you,” You reassured softly, stepping closer to him on the sidewalk.

“Bucky, I’d trust you with my life. You are the love of my life, and that arm is one of my favorite things about you. I never even thought for a moment from the second I met you that you would ever hurt me. Bucky, what you did all those years wasn’t you, it’s not your fault. You’re not a villain, you are just a man, and a damn fine one at that,” You continued, stepping even closer to him, grabbing the bag from him and setting it on the table next to the other one so you could lean in and kiss him. You lips met his, he was hesitant at first, but eventually sank into this kiss, letting his arms come around you. The city around you came to a standstill, there was nobody but you two in the whole city. You pulled away.

“We should get this home before it gets cold,” you suggested, Bucky nodded, pecking your lips one more time before picking up one of the bags. You grabbed the other one, setting off back toward the tower in the shadow of twilight.

“Hold my hand dammit,” you commanded as you walked, intertwining your fingers with his cool metal ones, letting his ridged palm come flush against yours, your heart swelling at the contact. This was going to work out after all, and while he was still getting used to love in the twenty first century, this was something he could definitely get used to very quick.

Masterlist


@tiffany-lester72​

@derpycp

2

The movie is so very much about the work, and the toll that it can take, especially if you’re not somebody who can personally relate to what it feels like to give so much of yourself. But she admires it in this actress. There is compassion, but there’s an acknowledgement that she will forever be isolated. She looks up to her, like, “You have genius. There’s something about you that’s just magical and absolutely undeniable and sort of untouchable, and I’m enthralled by it; I want to get as close to it as I can.” But there’s a distance between them that they’re obsessed with, but they can’t close. One is a fan of art and one is the artist. There’s this desperate need to understand one other—that’s the attraction—but at the same time, I think the reason they’re so attracted is they won’t understand each other.  


Kristen Stewart

Before Flowers Bloom || Chan || Oneshot

Word Count: 974

Genre: comfort, oneshot

Summary: Chan wasn’t the best with words but he hoped his little analogy would help you feel better.


You sat on his bed, watching as he aggressively played his video game. His frustrated grunts filled the room and his back was turned to you. He was expecting you to be on your phone or reading or maybe studying like you normally did when you invited yourself over to his house. Instead, you were watching him with a pair of sad eyes, unsure of what to say or how to interrupt his intense gaming session. After he finished the round, you unknowingly let out a loud sigh.

Keep reading

I have a colorful #throwbackthursday this week! 🌈✨ This painting was a total homage to one of my first cartoon obsessions! 📺 My Little Ponies! 🐎❤ I adored these ponies and had a huge collection of them growing up. 😁 I even had the pony bubble bath that was a cloud with a rainbow, omg it was amazing. ☁🌈🛀This painting used up a lot of paints and I think I used about 30 different colors to make up her rainbow hair. 🎨💁 Totally worth it though.😜 I would give up all the paint in the world if I could go back for one day to play with my pony toys as a kid. 🤓

anonymous asked:

Which is your fav Lexa and Clexa fanart? I know there are a lot to choose from but which one stands out for you or you're emotionally attached to?

My favorite Lexa fan art hands down this one (it’s been my phone background for almost a year now) it is by @papurrcat :

As for Clexa…this is so hard, but the one that stands out the most to me that gives me feels is this one by @sheep-in-clouds  : 

But like there are SO MANY I love in this fandom. This fandom is full of so many incredible artists that bless us. Like @immochiball with their Lexacoon/LionClarke that gives me ALL SORTS of feels. Then we have the incredible @critter-of-habit that is so talented and has created amazing scenes with her artwork, like Raven giving Clarke a necklace for the Flame. Then we have @waitingforshow whose comics crack me up and I’m still laughing about Lexa’s obsession with the Pokemon candle. @terra-7 has also created beautiful fan art of Clexa hugging and comforting one another. And I already mentioned papurrcat and sheep-in-clouds, who are beyond talented and have created so many masterpieces. And I KNOW I have forgotten a lot of people. I think we all know how blessed we are to have such talented people in our fandom that create beautiful, funny, moving artwork of Lexa and Clexa.

Basically, I love going into my ‘the 100 fan art’ tag because there are such talented people in this fandom that create incredible artwork. 

I need Harry to have his own show. Just him sitting on a bright pink sofa talking about his day, what’s on his mind, the cute chinchilla he saw in the window of a pet store earlier that day, and there would be segments where he’d teach us a baking recipe he’s obsessed with at the moment, how to make an amazing health smoothie, the best ways to sauté sprouts, etc.

And guest appearances by friends and family and they share funny and embarrassing stories of H, and Robin just drilling him the whole time.

There would be the Random Fact of the Day, like, “I once walked in on Niall having a wank,” or, “I saw a cloud in the shape of a penis once.”

And lastly, a segment where he’s forced to sit down and read all of the good things said about him because he needs to know how much he’s respected and loved all over the world.

Where can I fund this?

10

ACen 2017 Merch Masterpost! I’d say the major themes for this year were Yuri on Ice, Digimon, and farm animals. Also, I bought a LOT of charms, eheheh ^^;

The YOI rollerskating bag and the postcard-sized animal prints are from @kayshasiemens, and me coming away with a bit of bighorn sheep swag from @coanimefest is basically a yearly tradition now. Also, this was totally unintentional since nearly half were blind bags, but I got enough Digimon straps to represent each of the Digimon Adventure boys and their partners (assuming a baby seal can represent Joe/Gomamon, but in my mind it totally does) and with only a SLIGHT preference for mah boy Taichi. Woohoo!

“How Yurio Feeling,” the pig!Yuuri crepe charm, and the haggard hen are from @hasuyawwn and her Artist’s Alley table-mate (I’m SO sorry I didn’t get her name and Tumblr won’t let me tag here for some reason, aagh!). Their entire table was incredible and I spent literally three days agonizing over everything (Opallene stamped a notecard for me so I can have physical evidence of that WOW! AMAZING! stamp)!

Speaking of @opallene, yes we split the cloud straps, she gave me that lil’ Swinub figure, AND she ordered a copy of an actual English language YOI doujin on my behalf–thanks for making such a beautiful book, @eryen-art! Also, I er… MAY have developed a bit of an obsession with pig!Yuuri and decided I needed lots of adorable pigs in my life, but I blame that problem on what I was wearing on Friday… more on that later!

Thoughts on current(ish) dramas

Blow Breeze (Korea): Checked it out because the premise sounded intriguing, dumped it two episodes in. Despite the premise, it seems like a typical weekend family drama, where I have problems keeping who is who straight. I also had zero interest or investment in these people. Combine with the fact that I am not a fangirl for anyone in the show, and you get DROPPED.

Cinderella and Four Knights (Korea): I wanted to like it, I did. The heroine was spunky and I am a big fan of Jung Il Woo (less a fan of his ability to pick up projects. The only drama of his I unabashedly loved was his debut Return of Iljimae.) But it’s too slapsticky and cheaply filmed, not to mentioned old-fashioned. It feels like it could have come out a decade ago and, while I love decade-old dramas, I only like them when they were made back then! So DROPPED.

Fantastic (Korea): Fan of the leads (Park Si Yeon needs more recognition. Joo Sang Wook stole my heart forever in Giant.) But the fact that the vibe didn’t click with me (a little too goofy) and the fact that I tend to avoid terminal illness dramas like the plague (pun intended) resulted in this one being DROPPED.

Ice Fantasy (China): High fantasy is where it’s at, baby! I am obsessively in love with this one, almost as much as I would have been if it came out when I was 14 (the reams of bad fanfic I would have written!) Sure, it has plot holes and is a bit too much in love with CGI, but it has a cool plot, pretty visuals, a ton of awesome ladies, a great sibling relationship, an OTP to die for, and a hero that makes my biggest Legolas dreams come true. Definitely a KEEPER. 

Love 020 (China): cute and I like the leads, but ultimately I have yet to find a contemporary cdrama to hook me. I am watching this, but in a desultory fashion. Ultimately, I prefer angst to fluff so this continues a MAYBE.

Moon Covered by Clouds (Korea): started out as fluffiest fluff and I thought I’d drop it, but it suddenly ratcheted in intensity - keeping the comic beats while discovering heart and conflict and making me get so very obsessed and becoming a KEEPER.

Moon Lovers (Korea): after episode 1, it was, at most a maybe. Now, after ep 3, it’s an obsession. Ostensibly remake of the Chinese smash hit Bu Bu Jing Xin, it’s pretty clearly its own thing that has veered off deliciously. I am there for the pretty and the future romance…oh, hell, who am I kidding? I am in it for gorgeous Lee Jun Ki, long hair blowing in the wind, bloodily angsting and longing for love. Pretty much a Yuu Watase manga come to life (TAMAHOOOOOOME!!! :P) So yes,a  KEEPER.

Novoland: Castle in the Sky (China): OK, I know it technically already ended, but I am still catching up. Speaking of manga come to life - this has it all, a special heroine, a tortured smirky hottie who is devoted to her, lots of tasty angst, wings! This is pretty much perfect and a KEEPER.

Our Gab Soon (Korea): OK, I admit I am sort of hate watching it because I don’t want Gab Soon to stick with her loser boyfriend and I am watching a 50 ep weekend drama (!!!!) in hopes of an event that will clearly won’t happen. BUT! I adore Gab Soon (and her actress, Kim So Eun, I will pretty watch in anything). Her loser boyfriend is hot, despite the loseriness, I like observing dysfunctional relationships, and I hope he will grow up and it will be painful. And rage at him is quite entertaining. So surprising even myself, this one is a KEEPER.

Uncontrollably Fond (Korea): despite the terminal illness, I was on board (cautiously.) But then the writer separated the couple for the bulk of the drama and heaped misery upon misery on them for no discernible reason. Only a masochist would have stayed the course of contstant misery, zero OTP times and a guaranteed tragic ending, and I don’t qualify. Sorry,  Kim Woo Bin, I adore you, but your drama finally got DROPPED.

W Two Worlds (Korea): My drug, my tasty drug! Has Lee Jung Suk ever made a drama I didn’t love (nope - loved, I Hear Your Voice, School 2013, Doctor Stranger, and Pinocchio). This one hurts my brain and makes me ship and claw at my chair. ILY show and you are  a KEEPER.

anonymous asked:

I was really hoping when they have to team up together that would end their war, because if Gotham doesn't get renewed I think everyone would like to see them at least get back on friend terms before the season ends. But that TV Guide article for finales said that the finale would be their finale showdown, so obviously they're still fighting until that point. And what does that mean *final* showdown? A truce? Them making up? One of them actually killing the other? *final*? What does that mean.

Ah man, I’ve been trying to find the article you’re referring to for the last half hour but I can’t seem to find it. If anyone has a link, I would really appreciate it! I’m definitely skeptical of like 99% of the information we get regarding Gotham because we have been misled in so many ways. 

Like take this “war” for example, we have been hearing about it FOREVER. And yet, there hasn’t been any war in the actual storyline so far. We had a revenge plot, but I would not characterize that as a war. The fact that Oswald is assembling an army might make it seem like a war is inevitable. But is that war really going to be between Ed and Oswald? My personal theory is that the writers wanted Oswald to have an “army” so it can eventually be used in a fight against the Court of Owls. This kind of makes sense when we see that clip of Fish talking to Oswald and Ed, who are standing side by side. The Court announced last episode that “Gotham must fall”, so i can totally see everyone having to team up to go against them. Not just in 3x19, but as something that lasts several episodes.  

Above was what I think is going to happen, but now I’ll try to answer your question under the assumption that the TV guide article is correct about a final showdown. The news that Oswald and Ed will have to work together made my nygmobblepot shipper heart SO HAPPY. Obviously I want this to be an opportunity for them to get back together. But if I step away from my emotional cloud of nygmobblepot obsession for a second and try to look at things more objectively, I remember that so much has happened between them. Oswald betrayed Ed’s trust and killed his girlfriend. Ed dug up Oswald’s fathers remains and shot him. So we can understand if, one day of working together is not enough to heal these deep wounds. But it’s still a step in that direction isn’t it? If they’re working together, they have to interact and communicate. And i think that will be a great opportunity for Oswald to discover how much his “death” affected Ed. Right now he probably thinks Ed is having the time of his life. He has no clue that he’s been taking drugs because of how desperately he missed him. He doesn’t know that Ed’s mental health has been taking a nose dive as a consequence of his guilt. And from Ed’s perspective, he’s wanted to see Oswald SO BADLY. And now to see the REAL him and not just an imitation conjured up by his own lonely mind. Being in Oswald’s presence again and remembering what that was like. So yes, I am VERY excited about the team up. Even if their war continues afterward …

As for their final showdown, I doubt either of them are going to die. The Riddler has just been born. It would make no sense to kill him off. And Penguin is the main villain in this show … he’s not dying any time soon. So that leaves us with some of the more pleasant outcomes. The two of them calling a truce or making up. 

But hey, so many of our predictions have been wrong in the past. For now, the best thing to do is just to look forward to 3x19, knowing that it will be a good episode for Nygmobblepot. 

(OH AND IF SOMEONE FINDS THAT ARTICLE, SEND IT MY WAY PLEASE)

Movie Affair

Chapter VI

Current obsession; Aaron Taylor-Johnson.

Summary: Life as a young actress was hard, but when you get a part in a promising movie and reunite with the man you’ve fantasized about since you were 15 things get harder. At first it’s like every dream you ever had is coming true. But reality pulls you down from cloud nine as you start to fall for the one guy you weren’t supposed to.

WARNINGS: Language & harrasment.

A/N: I still don’t know how to place gifs in the middle of a text correctly. So you might have to go down mid-reading to check out Ross at dinner. Sorry lads!

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

- Christine Lee’s at 7:00, should I send Ross to pick you up? ;) -

I quickly typed back - Sure, what are you wearing? -

- Sparkly dress but w a jacket, I’m hitting Club Fate after. OPEN BAR! You’re welcome to join me. 😘 -

- K, see you there. -

- See ya sexy -

I chuckle and drop the phone on my bed, next to two different outfits. My body was wrapped around a white towel and my hair was dripping wet. I washed it and combed through it, after applying every single hair product I found on my suitcase so it could look decent. Since it was going to stay (wavy/curly) until I went back on set. Because I had no plans to straighten it myself.

I sigh, I couldn’t decide what to wear and it was 6:30 already. “At least my hair is done” I tell myself. Deciding to put on my underwear already I drop the towel and walk to my suitcase. I pick black lacy panties. Cuz you can never go wrong with black underwear.

“Total lie” I think to myself but still put them on. I gaze at the bed again. One outfit consisted of a long sleeve, black blouse and a ‘sparkly’ short skirt. The other was an off-the-shoulder peach tight dress.

After what felt like hours of trying to decide I chose to send Kelly a picture of the outfits. She new better when it came to fashion. I wrote; - Need help, dinner w cast & crew, then nightclub. What do you think? -

I decided to continue to start my makeup as I waited for an answer. And after the basics are done my phone buzzes with an incoming message. - SPARKLES n blouse! Leave the dress for a date ;) -.

I chuckle and decide it’s not a bad idea. - Thanks, you saved my life, again. 😂 -

- Good luck, bet you’re looking hot af. Need to know Aaron’s reaction. 😏 -

I cringe at the mention of Aaron, recalling the events earlier that day. Trying to put them to the back of my head I quickly dress myself and continue to finish my makeup. Nude eyeshadow, black eyeliner, contour and a peach -ish matte lipstick.

My phone buzzes as I sit on the bed, I pick it and it reads Unknown. I frown and answer, waiting for the other person to talk.

“Y/N? It’s Ross”

“Oh hey, didn’t realize you had my number” I talk relieved. Ross was better than a crazy fan… or hater.

“I didn’t, Liz gave it.” he pauses for a moment, “I’m outside your hotel” he says.

“Oh, I’m almost ready. I’ll be right there.” I say rushing over to grab some black high heels.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait” he says and I hear him kill the engine.

“Thank you Ross” I say a little breathless as I standing on one feet, strapping the heels on. I hang up and grab a hand purse, stuffing shit in it. I splash perfume all over me and literally run out of the room.

As I get in the elevator I take a deep breath. “I’m not about to sweat my makeup off” I think to myself. After I’m a few floors down I a picture of my outfit and send it to Kelly - Ready to break some hearts. -. I walk out the elevator and head outside. After looking around I see Ross deep on his phone inside a black jeep.

I cross the street and open the passenger door, getting in. “Hi” I say smiling when he looks up. His eyes roam my body and he smirks, stopping at my hair.

“Looking wild tonight,” he says and I chuckle. “You’re going to break hearts.” he starts the engine.

“Hopefully yours is one of them” I joke winking at him and he gives me a dry laugh.

“I don’t doubt it” and with that he drives off, speeding down the street.

He looks nice, I loved the way he styled his hair. And the button up shirt he was wearing fitted his body well. Seeing him drive reminded me of that day Aaron took me to the mall and I roll my eyes to myself. Reaching for the radio and putting some music on.

“Am I underdressed? I feel underdressed” he asks and then states. I frown, he had jeans but he looked fine.

“Ofcourse not. You look nice” I say giving him a smile.

“Thanks” he says “Are you joining us at Club Fate?” I give him a poker face.

“What do you think I’m wearing this skirt for?” I ask putting my hands up like that emoji, he shrugs exageratedly.

“Women are unpredictable y/n, one’s gotta ask” Ross says and I start laughing.

“Yup, you seem like the kind of guy that doesn’t know a lot a about women” I nod pressing my lips in a fine line. He chuckles and tilts his head, frowning.

“Is that the impression I give?” before I can answer he continues “I mean, who understands women?” He asks to himself and I huff.

“Who understands men?” I ask and shrugg “You people are just as complicated” I say high pitched and now Ross rolls his eyes.

“Na ah”

“Uh huh”

His lips part to let out a sigh and he eyes me, smiling just enough for me to notice. He looks annoyed, and that simple gesture seemed pretty hot to me. Damn it! I needed to control myself. This dude was not someone to have a crush in. Definitely not. I didn’t even like him that much. He acted like some kind of fuckboy, and he was 27.

“I’ve had many girlfriends” he says and I kick an eyebrow up. “Never been able to understand them, what do they want? What is their purpose? Why are they so clingy? Why do they get so bitchy?” I throw my head back on the seat letting out an “UGH”.

“You probably haven’t taken the time to actually try and ask; Do you need something? What do you want? Have I done something wrong?” I say looking away and crossing my arms.

“ She can ask what do I want to! And why am I the one who did something wrong? She could’ve too for all you know.” He says making gestures. “You are very stereotypical”. I snort.

“So are you!”

“Am not!” He says looking offended and I lay my forehead on my hand.

“Dude, not every woman is complicated. Not all of us want to be clingy. Some of us don’t even want you around at all. Sex and that’s it. Not everything is about you people with dicks.” I say lifting my face and moitoning my hands to him. We stopped at a red light and I realized I was completely turned towards him.

He’d gotten on my nerve with that caveman thinking. But it all resulted very funny really. He stared at me for a few seconds and started laughing. I, defeated, started laughing as well. I couldn’t change his way of thinking, why even try?.

“I can’t argue with you” he says mid laugh and starts to drive again at the green light. I seat back correctly and chuckle, feeling more relaxed than a few seconds ago. “Damn that was hot” he says and I laugh more, I knew I could get really stubborn sometimes. I also was aware that some men found that attractive.

“You are really stubborn tho” I say and he hums yes. He was focused on the traffic, I looked out the window and see the big restaurant.

“Two stubborn people in a car. Seems to me this jeep could explode at any moment,” he says laughing and I laugh as well. I take a hand to my stomach that had started to hurt from all the laughing. And then I notice some paparazzi outside the place. Either they knew we were coming or there was another celebrity here today. “Oh my dear friends” Ross says regarding the people with cameras and I chuckle.

“Those people are nobody’s friends” I say covering my face from them. I truly didn’t like the attention, but I suppose it was a price to pay for a little fame. I sink deeper on the sit, leaning a little towards Ross’s side. He notices that I’m uncomfortable and pulls my hand down. I lock eyes with him making a pout and he smiles, shaking his head as he reaches for the sun visor and puts it down. Making me less visible to them. I smile looking at him still sunken on my seat. “Thanks”.

One of his hands grabs my chin and he gently makes me sit straight again “You’re welcome”. He doesn’t break the contact right away so I do, getting on my phone until we reached the valet parking. Once we did he turns to me and says “Don’t get down yet” I frown but he gets down from the car without further explanation.

I see him jog around it and head towards my door, I slowly shake my head with an amused smile. He opens my door and extends me a hand, making his eyebrows dance and we laugh. Oh paparazzi were so getting this.

My hand meets his and he helps me get down the car. I smile at him once we are down and he closes the door behind me. “A complete gentleman for the camera huh?” I say and he turns to me again.

He winks at me “A complete gentleman for you, little heartbreaker” I laugh and he extends an arm for me to walk alongside him, making me notice a few too many unbuttoned buttons. Instead of taking his arm I take a step closer and start buttoning them. His eyebrows kicks up at me from his height and I avoid eye contact.

“There, you look much more dressed now.” I put a hand on his chest ironing the shirt with my hands. He smiles amused and I start walking without him. After a few seconds he catches up, paparazzi following us with their cameras. “Thanks” he says.

“Welcome” says a guy at the restaurant door. “Do the lovely couple have a reservation?” He asks nicely and my eyebrows kick up. Ross chuckles nervously, he whistles looking to the other side saying “Like I’d ever get that lucky” I roll my eyes. “We are not a couple” I say, loud enough for the paparazzi to hear too. Ross looks at the man again “We are here for the, uh, Summer Productions cast and crew dinner.” He pulls put some kind of ticket and hands it to him./p>

“Oh but ofcourse, my apologies.” He says and makes for us to walk inside. “Second floor Mr.Butler.” We thank him quietly and walk inside side by side. There are immediately stairs to our left and we follow them. He clears his throat “For the record, we would make a cute couple.” I eye him.

“Not really cute babies tho” I say and he gasps.

“I’d make beautiful babies Y/N!” He acts offended and I chuckle. ‘Not with Me’ I say to myself as we reach the second floor.

“Besides…” I trail off “We would probably kill each other” I say looking around for the rest of us. The floor has a dim light and only a few quiet couples, I frown then open my mouth. “Don’t tell me Liz…” But my thoughts are cut off by a lot of noise coming from the other side of the floor.

“That’s them” Ross says and grabs my wrist, pulling me with him as he walks. I let out a breath of relief. I was already thinking she had set something up for Ross and I. Since she was such a ‘shipper’.

“And you are right about that” that’s the last thing we say as we approach the table. Liz is the first one to see us and she claps excitedly. Making the other cast members to see us, I smile and wave at them. Freeing myself from Ross’s grip.

“Here, here com sit!” Liz tells us, there are a few free chairs so I sit in front of her while Ross takes one next to her. “Hi everyone” Ross says and everyone greats back cheerfully.

There was a girl next to Liz I recognized from costume too. Liz had a very red drink on her hand, with ice, but the other girl had what looked like a cocktail… it was very red too. “Uh I want one of those” I say to Liz and she smirks. “Try mine first” with that she hands me the drink and I smell it before taking a sip.

I scrunch my face making her and Ross laugh. “No idea how to describe that but I don’t want it” I say laughing. “Tequila, lime and a looot of sugar.” Liz says taking a sip herself.

“Try mine, it’s called Berry Berry Crazy Cosmo” the girl next to Liz says and hands me her cocktail. I take a sip right away. Now that was more like it. “This has vodka” I say handing it back and she nods “I want” Ross chuckles at this and calls over a waitress.

“She’s going to get one of those” he points at the cocktail “And I’m getting a chocolate martini.” She nods and walks away.

“Mmm, I wanna try that” Liz says. Ross smirks “You both have to try it” he points at each and we nod. Chocolate man, couldn’t say no.

“Hello everyone, sorry if I’m late” Aaron’s voice says from behind me. The girl next to Liz smiles up “Not at all, we’re just starting to drink” she says. “Come, sit here” she motions to the seat next to her.

He walks over, kisses her cheek and sits. My eyes can’t help but to stare as his roam through the table. When they place on me they linger on mine for a little longer, then he looks back at the girl next to him when she talks. Not a smile, not a flinch on his face. Damn I’d fucked up good… the friendship ofcourse.

And no friendship. Less of a chance of me screwing him. IF there ever was one at all.

I finally look away from him when my drink is place in front of me. I smile at the girl. “One Berry Berry Crazy Cosmo, that’s Ciroc Red Beryy vodka, Voli raspberry vodka and cranberry juice. Very strong,” she pauses putting Ross drink in front of him “And a chocolate martini here, that’s Dorda and Chopin Rye vodka, garnished with chocolate. Strong too.” she finishes and Ross smiles at her as well.

When the waitress leaves Liz takes Ross’s drink and sips from it. Ross, who was checking the girl’s ass out, barely noticed. I take a quick sip too and place in front of him again. He turned to face me again “She’s got a nice ass” I chuckle and he does too.

“You girls gonna try it?” “Yeah” Liz nods and grabs it again, my eyes go wide and I laugh. She stares as she sips, again. “You’re an alcoholic” I joke and she gets red and laughs. “Hush your mouth” I shake my head slightly and chuckle as she hands it to me again.

I look at the glass “It’s got syrup and everything” I say and drink, liking a bit of the syrup. “Hey!” Liz complains and I snort, putting it down. “Better than yours” I say and she rolls her eyes.

“You don’t know how to drink” she says and I raise my eyebrows smiling.

“Oh I know how to drink alright?” I assure her and lick my upper lip.

“Shit Liz” Ross elbows her teasingly “We gotta test her tonight at the club.” he says and she nods, drinking from her own drink.

I chuckle, feeling a heavy stare on me. Unconsciously my eyes go up to Aaron. And there he was, looking at me. I frown and look away at Ross. He was doing a little dance annoying Liz, - gif - but his eyes were deep in mine, a smirk spread on his lips. I breathe out taking a gulp of my drink.

Fuck

•••••••••••••• 12:30 ••••••••••••••••

“Keep em comiiing!” I yell over the music euphorically. Taking two glasses from Ross and handing one to Liz. Who danced agaisnt my body out of rhythm. She takes it and starts gulping it. Oh my God she needed a break. I needed a break.

We dance to a couple more songs when some other cast members join us. It was like we were having our own private party in the middle of the dancing floor. We were all dancing at nothing, or maybe at how drunk Liz and her friend were.

Her friend. If she was here with us Aaron must’ve been left alone at last. I looked around, my vision blocked by Ross’s chest. “Dude you are unusually tall” I say but ofcourse he doesn’t hear me. Instead grabs my shoulders shakes me until I’m dancing again. I laugh at the way he flips his hair like this was some kind of metalica concert. I felt like I’d been dancing for HOURS. Wich I probably had been. I was sweating between my thighs, a coat of it on my neck and forehead too.

I feel a slap on my ass and spin around. Relieved to see Liz smiling with her tounge out. I keep dancing and Ross gets closer, bracing my hips. It doesn’t bother me, it was just dancing anyway. And I was a bit too drunk to care.

“Refills. You’re up” Liz says. I’m about to answer when Ross’s hands caress the back of my thighs. My eyes go wide and Liz frowns. He starts trailing them up and I turn around, his eyes find mine and I know he’s drunk. I’d known that for hours. He then really sees me and opens his mouth. “Shit I’m sorry” he says putting them up.

There were too many people around us. Feeling suffocated I took the last gulp of my drink and made my way out of the crowd.

I head for the bar to get us more drinks. I stumble with people on the way but I finally get there. The bartender recognizes me and nods, getting started on the drinks. I rest my elbows on the counter and sigh. It maybe was like 1:00 am but I was tired already. All of us came here right after dinner, around 9:00 pm probably. It had been some time since I stayed out so late.

“Sleepy huh?” a man asks next to me and I nod. Maybe it was noticeable on my face. “You’re young! You’re supposed to have the energy to dance all night!” he chuckles and I roll my eyes.

“Not all of us party all the time” I slur and the bartender puts three drinks in front of me. “Get me one of those color shots too please” I ask slurring my words again and she raises an eyebrow with a smirk. She turns her back to me.

“You sure you wanna do that?” the man next to me asks and I roll my eyes again. I turn around and look at him.

“What do you care?” I ask raising an eyebrow and giving him a fake smile. Aaron smiles at me and shrugs. I blink. “Oh you’re talking to me!” I fake cheer and chuckle turning to the bar again. The lady puts a blue curacao shot in front of me and I grab it.

“Isn’t that too strong?” Aaron asks and I roll my eyes. Making sure he is looking when I down it. Uh, it was pretty good, and strong.

I grab the three drinks how I can and walk to the dancing floor again. Aaron walks with me, a drink in hand. I try to find Ross and Liz again, mostly Ross because he was tall as fuck, easy to find. The music got louder the closer we got to the Dj.

“I’m going back to the hotel, wanna ride?” He asks leaning to my ear and I frown. Sure I was tired, but I don’t think I wanted to head back just yet. I eye him, squeezing through the crowd.

“You got a ride?” I yell over the music and look around me again. Where the hell had they gone? I look back at Aaron and he shows me his phone. The Uber app open, I nod and think about it. And finally Ross ends up finding me and taking two of the drinks. Liz right behind him with some other two guys from the cast. I couldn’t leave her alone with three guys. “I think I’ll stay for a little longer” I slur blinking too much and he nods frowning a little. Oh my was I drunk.

“Ok, take care” he says and walks away. Getting lost in the crowd.

And to think he was trying to have some fun with her. Perhaps because he’d grown jealous of her friendship with Ross. He thought he couldn’t lose her friendship to a stupid teenager act. Then there she was, turning him down. But he knew he couldn’t have expected her to ditch the drink and dancing just to be with him…. or, at least he knew it now.

Either Aaron was no fun when he drank, or he hadn’t had alcohol at all. Liz screams when another song comes up, letting her drink slip from her hand and spill on the floor. I groan and look at her, she looked at it for a few seconds like she could cry or something.

“I’ll get it” Ross and I say at the same time. We look at each other. “I’ll go with you” he says and I head back to the bar annoyed.

I sit on a stool and Ross stands next to me. A little close, but I ignore it. “Listen sorry bout that” he says.

“Don’t worry, It’s fine” I say without looking, waiting to catch the bartender’s eye with my back to him.

“S'not, really” he drags the words a little and I chuckle, turning to him.

“Reallyyy” my own words sound dragged now “It’s fine” I slur and try to smile at him. He kicks and eyebrow up. Moving closer.

“Oh is it now?” he asks and a smirk places on his lips “Have I misread you?” he asks again and I frown. The he’ll was he talking about?

I felt his hand on the discovered skin of my thigh, his eyes inspect my reaction and he grips it tight, sliding his hand inside my skirt. “What the fuck?!” I push him away and stand up. “You are a sick…” I don’t finish my sentence and splash my drink on him. He stands there confused and I walk away, my face flushed with anger.

I head towards the bathroom and push the door open. A few girls were there but I ignored them and locked myself in a cubicle. I took deep breaths, repeating to myself that he was just drunk and had misinterpreted what I had said. I sit in the toilet. My face felt hot and it was hotter inside this place, maybe I should just go.

Perhaps I was still able to catch a ride with Aaron. I open the cubicle and walk out of the bathroom. Ross was outside waiting for me. I sigh and walk to him. Preparing to say that I was sorry I’d pushed him and shit. He walks towards me too fast.

I frown when I see how mad he looks and open my mouth but he interrupts me by poking my shoulder. “You didn’t have to be such a bitch!” he says and my eyes go wide.

“Excuse me?” I scoff “I was a what?” I ask daring and he scoffs.

“This is what I mean about you people!” he stresses.

“Us people who? Women?” I ask sassily

“Yesss! you could have just told me that’s not what you meant!!” he stresses with his arms.

“And you could learn the fucking difference between being nice and being flirty you douche!”

“I’m the douche? You fucking poured your drink on me!”

“OH, I’m sorry if I hurt your very fragile ego. But YOU tried touched me in front of everyone too!” I yell.

“Oh don’t act like you didn’t fucking like it!” he yells and I blink repeatedly. My lower lips trembles and we stay in silence. Until I head towards the front door, sprinting out of the place. If I had not I would’ve probably slapped him, and there were too many people around. That wouldn’t have looked good for the press.

Once outside the hot air hits my face and my breathing is uneven. I walk away from the line of people waiting. My heels making that dramatic sound you hear in the movies. I look around, hoping that Aaron wasn’t gone yet.

And just as I saw his figure some feets away he sees me. “Hey” he says and waves but Ross calls my name behind me. Aaron tilts his head and Ross grabbed my arm and spun me around. “What the fuck!?” I yell and slip from his grip “Stay away from me” I push his arm.

“You need to stop being such a bitch and listen” he talks lower, but still angry.

I clench my jaw and slap him hard, and even if his face doesn’t move more than an inch. He was surprised. My voice was low now but very clear when I leaned in and said “And you need to learn how to treat a woman, asshole.”

“Listen you fucking..!!” before I know it Aaron passes by my side and shoves him.

“Hey hey what’s goin on?” He asks standing by my side in a protective manner. But I’m all too pissed to think of it.

“Fucking what?!” I ask walking towards him but Aaron holds an arm against my stomach. I stop and breathe in, my nails digging on my own skin. “No wonder why you’re a bust with women.” I speak and he scoffs.

“Honey I can take better chicks than you to bed” he slurs the words, Aaron mutters a “shit” as I throw myself at Ross, expecting to punch him in the face, but Aaron traps my waist in both his arms and walks away with my feet off the ground. Back pressed agaisnt his side.

I let out a frustated squeal and shake, hoping he’d let me go already. I wanted to run back and beat his fucking pretty face until he bled. I groan and exactly then a car pulls over, Aaron opens the door and almost literally throws me inside. Getting in himself while I sit up.

“What the hell?!” I yell at him and the driver looks at us.

“I’m not kidnapping her, I swear” he says putting his hands up. And I cross my arms angrily. We start driving back to the hotel I imagine and I concentrate on looking out the window for a while.

“You could’ve let me beat him up a little” I slur after a few minutes.

He chuckles “You’ve had too many drinks”. I frown, after this I wasn’t too sure I was that drunk anymore. “What did he do anyways?” I look at him.

He didn’t know how serious this was, at least for me. He’d touched me -intimately- without my consent and then tried to make it seem like I somehow had made him believe he could. That fucking sucked and it wasn’t my fault but I still felt like I could beat his face until I saw blood. I look down, Aaron’s eyes on me.

“He was just a douche” I say, voice breaking. Yeah now I was upset for some goddamn reason instead of being mad. I push my skirt down to cover me more and look out the window again.

Aaron imagined that was not the real reason… or at least not entirely. But seeing how upset he had made her, he decided not to ask. But instead try and cheer her up, so he told the driver to take them to McDonalds. He knew she’d tell him another day.

Originally posted by betty-and-jughead


Originally posted by tropical-latinagirl