Announcement - Important, please read.
Alright, so, I’m sure that many of you are aware that I’ve not been in a particularly good place lately. I won’t go into detail, in case I trigger anyone, but I’m not in a good place.
I have to take care of myself, first and foremost. I have to focus on getting better above anything else.
Being in this fandom was, at first, a joy. I loved being in this fandom and shipping Newtina with other people who were as passionate as myself, I loved that we got to share stories with each other and talk about them. I loved all of the other writers in this fandom, and I thought of many of them as my friends, if only online.
But it’s come to my attention that there are some who think that they’re better than others in this fandom; they think that their stories are the ultimate best, they think that it’s their god-given right to reblog stories, only to then explain “this is what you could have done better” – and by reblogging it, it was for EVERYONE to see. They think that it’s okay to ignore or feel superior to other people in the fandom – and these are people who I thought were my friends because they helped me on a number of things with my fics. Said people have no unfollowed me, so I’m trusting that they won’t see – and if they do, then I doubt they’ll care. I’ve tried messaging them but no reply, so… I cannot do anything else.
To add, there’s the hate, and while I could simply ignore or delete it, I’ve still seen it and it hurts. It hurts that people think it’s okay to tear me – or ANYONE – down like that; any time that I’ve felt even a little bit happy, something has come along to ruin it.
It’s for this reason that I’m going to be taking a break from this tumblr, and from this fandom, after tonight. I don’t know for how long – it could simply be a day, it could be weeks, it could be months – but I’m at the point where I was crying in the car on the way home from hospital because of it. I simply cannot do this anymore, it’s not healthy for me, and I have to put my health first.
I don’t know if I will continue to write stories. I wanted to – I had the whole universe planned out, as evidenced by my future headcanons – but after a) being ignored by people I was hoping would advise me on certain aspects and b) recieiving hate, I’m done. I’m so fucking done. I hope that one day I can come back to write stories but at the moment it looks unlikely.
If people – either the people who have until now ignored me or people who have supported me – want to send private messages then I may make an exception for that. But I don’t think I’ll be publically posting for a while.
Look, maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and decide “actually, I can do this” – maybe I’ll wake up and still feel awful. I simply don’t know.
Thank you to the people who have been supportive and haven’t abandoned me yet. I’m getting help, I promise, and I love you all for caring so much about me.