i have an eye disorder that makes my eyes do something similar to this when i eat or open my mouth wide

Goomar (Pt. 3)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Mafia AU, Smut (Heavy), Angst (Heavy), Fluff (Barely) *No smut in the 3rd chapter…it’ll just have angst and fluff*
Chapter Length: Medium


1 2 3 4 5

*Warning- Strong Language, Explicit Sex, Explicit Sex Talk/References, Gang Violence, Talk of Gang Violence*

*Update Warning- Eating Disorder*

Originally posted by mvssmedia

A week after the ‘incident’ with Yoongi has passed, and it’s been a week since you’ve actually seen him. It’s not that you were avoiding him, rather, he was avoiding you.

“You know, you really piss me off.”

“You know I don’t care, right?”

Days pass slowly when you’re missing someone.

That’s what your heart tells you, but your mind tells you that there is no way in hell that you missed him.

It has been a week since you’ve seen Yoongi. Since you’ve seen his face, heard his voice.

It was exactly a week ago that he kissed you for the first time.

You rolled your eyes at the way you thought about him. If your brain was so worked up just because you and him made out, then how will you react when you two eventually-

You shuddered at the thought. You couldn’t do it. It just doesn’t seem right.

You laid in bed, your hands gently touching the ends of your hair as you thought to yourself. After not seeing Yoongi for three days, you gave up asking questions, or trying to find a way to contact him. And because you have no friends at the estate, you’ve stayed locked in your room. That’s how it’s been since it became a week since you’ve seen him.

You heard a knock on your door and you sat up quickly, smoothing your hair down so it wasn’t sticking out in unnecessary places. You watched anxiously as the door opened, only to be disappointed when you saw one of the Min’s family walk in and set a tray of food in front of you. He looked at you with no expression, which you’ve learned to realize is them actually smiling, and then watched as he grabbed the breakfast tray you barely ate from the floor next to the door.

You slouched against the bed frame as he closed the door behind him. Even though you’ve given up searching for him, you never failed to get anxious or excited at the chance for his appearance. The constant disappointment when he doesn’t appear only makes you more and more upset, and this has caused you to barely eat, and sleep all day. It was as if you were sick.

You hated to admit it, but you liked Yoongi. You liked him a lot. But again, you hate to admit it, and you never will admit to yourself that you actually liked him. He was a rude pervert, and when he actually was being somewhat ‘normal’ he was confusing. He would say things that you didn’t understand.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me, Princess.”

What the hell does that even mean?

You felt stupid for not understanding him, but you can’t seem to understand what he was talking about. You just wished he would appear, so that you could talk to him. Ask him what he meant. The longer you thought about it, the more it drove you crazy. 

You grabbed the tray, looking at the fish and vegetables that was in front of you. You were too worked up to have an appetite, and you slowly got up and placed the tray onto your floor before going back into the bed. You laid your head against the pillow, deciding that the days could possible go by faster if you just rested longer. You closed your eyes, slowly falling into a light sleep.


Everything feels warm.

You opened your eyes slowly, your room pitch black from it being night time. You turned over in your bed, your head bumping into something. Or someone. Your eyes opened wide, your mouth open from almost screaming. 

Calm down, (Y/N), there’s no way it could be an enemy waiting to kill you. Not from the way they were snoring softly. You slowly got out of the bed, standing next to the nightstand that had a lamp on top of it. You hesitantly turned it on, the yellow light illuminating the large bed space, and on it, a sleeping Yoongi. 

You jolted back a little in surprise, not expecting to see him, and definitely not next to you in your bed. You watched him with curious eyes as his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes slowly opening from the sudden light in his eyes. He looked at the lamp, confused, before his eyes flashed over to you.

He only laid there, staring at you before raising an eyebrow. “Why are you in my room?” His voice was slightly deeper and more raspy from being asleep. You looked at him in disbelief. “Really? That’s what you’re going to say to me after being gone for a week? And for your information, this is my room.” Your tone had a hint of annoyance.

He sat up, the blanket falling to expose his bare chest. You quickly covered your eyes, your heart having too many mixed emotions about the man in front of you, and his bare, chiseled, smooth-looking chest was not going to help in the slightest. You heard him chuckle and you peaked through your fingers to see him looking at you, amused by your reaction.

“Sorry, I got here so late and I’m so tired. Your room looks similar to mine so I just assumed.” He got out of your bed and grabbed his shirt that was on the floor. He put it on, not bothering to button it up. You kept your hands to your face as you watched him make his way towards your door.

“Wait.” Your heart was having mixed emotions, but your mind was still fully capable to handle him and you had a lot to ask him. “Where were you?” Your hands falling from your face and now your arms were crossed over your chest, your silk pajamas softly rubbing against your exposed skin.

“Working.” He turned back around to look at you. “Doing what?” You asked. Yoongi only looked away, not meeting your gaze. “I don’t really think that’s any of your business.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him. “None of my business? You’re so full of shit. You were avoiding me.” Yoongi looked back at you, his tongue poking his cheek as his irritation rose. “I have no reason to avoid you.” He leaned against your door, his shirt moving back to expose his thin waist.

“You were avoiding me. You kissed me, in fact, you did more than kiss me. You kissed me on my lips, and my neck, and you touched me in ways no man has ever, and now you’re regretting it, so you’re avoiding contact with me, and avoiding my gaze, and now, you’re upset because I’m right. You’re avoiding me, because you don’t like me.” You blew up more than you thought you would, and to be honest, your own words hurt you. 

The thought of Yoongi avoiding you because he kissed you only to regret it, made your heart burn. And by the look on Yoongi’s face, you knew that you struck a nerve.

He walked over to you quickly before you could process anything and you were quick to back yourself onto the bed, falling back onto the soft mattress and you watched as Yoongi hovered over you, his arms above your head as his face was only inches from yours.

“Y-Yoongi…” You looked up at him, not knowing what to expect. You didn’t know if you could handle his lips on yours again, but at the same time, it was all you wanted. You watched him get closer to you, and your eyes fluttered closed, expecting to feel his soft, plump lips against yours, but you once again felt that feeling of disappointment when you felt the pressure of the bed release, and you opened your eyes to see him backing away from you. 

“You’re right.” He looked at you with no expression. “You’re absolutely right.” He turned around, quickly leaving your room and you sat on your bed, staring at the door as if you were hoping he’d open the door again, but he never did.

You thought to yourself what he said.

You’re right. You’re absolutely right.

The fact that you were right, that he did in fact have no feelings for you, hurt.

It shouldn’t since you’ve only been here for a week and a half, but you’re supposed to get married in a month, and the fact that you’ve have to marry a man who didn’t feel the same feelings you had for him, only hurt you more.

You hated that you had feelings for him, but you know that your heart is the strongest thing about you, and if your heart knew that you liked him, then it must be true,

You had been laying in your bed since then and it’s already 5pm of the next day. You sulked to yourself, your blanket over your face. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave your room. Not when there was the possibility to see him. You held the blanket tighter over you as you heard a knock on your door and your door opened.

“I have lunch for you, (Y/N).” You heard the familiar voice of the man who always brought your meals, but you didn’t uncover your face to look at him. “I’m not hungry,” You said, loud enough for him to hear and you were silent as you heard his footsteps pause before starting again. The sound ending with him closing your door.

He was used to you barely to not eating your food, and you wondered why he even bothered to bring you anything, since you’d just tell him to take it back, or you’d annoy him by taking the tray of food only to take a single bite and leave it by the door for him to take.

You heard the door open again and you expected it to be the same man but you were surprised to hear a woman’s voice. More specifically, Mrs. Min’s voice. “(Y/N)?” Her voice was soft, a surprise to you since all you’ve been able to hear was Yoongi’s loud voice ringing repeatedly in your ears.

You slowly uncovered your face from your blanket and you watched her face slowly twist to a look of fear and concern. “Oh my…what happened to you?” She asked, quickly sitting on the bed to rest her warm palm against your forehead. “You’re freezing…” She said as her hand slowly caressed your cheek. “Your face looks sickly pale and thin…” She looked at you, watching your eyes as they closed at her warmth.

“I was told that you haven’t been eating, is something wrong?” She asked, her hand still resting against your cheek. You opened your eyes to look back at her. “No.”

She only stared back at you, not saying another word. “Is Yoongi not treating you nicely?” She finally asked, watching as the sound of her son’s name from her lips made you frown, his words once again ringing in your head.

You’re right. You’re absolutely right.

Mrs. Min left you alone after that, her final request was to try to eat more, and you simply nodded. You looked up at the ceiling, watching as the designs started to become fuzzy before you only saw black.

You slowly opened your eyes, seeing only a white ceiling. This wasn’t your bedroom. You turned your head to see a doctor looking at your heart rate and blood pressure monitor before glancing down to see that you were awake.

“Good morning.” She smiled down at you, your returning expression was only a confused face. “Where am I?” You tried to sit up but the doctor was quick to push you back down again softly. “Don’t try to sit up. You’re just going to end up passing out again and we don’t want that.”

You acknowledged what she said, nodding before turning your head away from her. “Where am I” You asked again. “You’re in the Min’s personal clinic.” You looked back at the lady with a confused expression.”They have their own clinic?” You watched as she nodded slowly and you could only sigh.

You couldn’t think straight. It was as if your mind was only half on. “I’ll tell your fiance that you’re awake.” You heard the doctor say and you snapped your head back to look at her. “What?” You looked at her as if she spoke a different language. “I’m going to tell him that you’re awake. He’s been waiting outside since you got here.” She explained before disappearing out the door.

You looked back up at the ceiling, your eyes squinting from the bright lights. You heard the door open and close before the lights changed, the bright lights were now off and it was just small lights that dimly lit the room. “You shouldn’t have bright lights in here…it hurts your eyes and you’ll have a hard time thinking straight.”

You looked down to see Yoongi staring at you with a blanket in one hand and a bag in the other. He walked over to you, placing the bag down and gently placing the blanket over your body and you noticed that you stopped shivering. “I hate the blankets here…they’re so thin that you feel like you’re somehow colder.” He said, his eyes never leaving yours.

You said nothing, your eyes just staring back at his. He grabbed one of the cushioned chairs and sat down next to you so you could look at him. He opened the bag and pulled out some water, milk, and juice, before pulling out some soup.

You heard your stomach growl and you wrapped your hands around yourself. Yoongi said nothing, his frown only getting deeper. You watched as he opened the water bottle and looked at you. “Are you able to sit up?” You thought about what the nurse said and you hesitated before shaking your head. 

He sighed. “You can sit up, just don’t move so fast.” You looked at him a second more before slowly sitting up. Yoongi lifted the water bottle to your lips and you carefully and slowly drank from it, careful to not let any drip down your chin.

“Even as an eighteen year old, you’re just like a baby.” His words were almost teasing but you knew from looking at his face that he didn’t mean it in a way to insult you. He set the water bottle down on the desk next to the bed and then lifted the lid of the soup, the smell filling your nostrils and your stomach grumbled again.

Yoongi looked up at you, his eyebrow twitching slightly. You could tell he was upset with you, but you didn’t dare open your mouth, which just upset him more. You watched as he grabbed a spoon from the bag and removed the napkin that was wrapped around it. He dipped the spoon into the soup, lifting it up to show that it was chicken noodle soup, which was your favorite. You opened your mouth quickly as he fed you, quickly eating to soothe your stomach which was hurting from not eating for days.

“I don’t know why you did this to yourself. If this is because of me, that is the dumbest thing you could ever do. All you’re doing is making my life more difficult because I have to take care of you. Do me a favor and stay healthy okay? I hate worrying about you. It’s all I’ve done since you got here.” You listened to him scold you in silence. 

You didn’t want to say anything. Hearing his voice made you feel better. You didn’t realize how much you missed his strangely kind words until he was right in front of you, saying them to you as he fed you soup in his personal clinic. He watched as you ate before setting the soup down and you pouted slightly before seeing that he was only grabbing the juice and opening that and putting it to your lips so you could drink.

“You know, you really piss me off.” He looked at you, pulling the juice from your lips as you swallowed, a little drop falling from your lips and slowly going down your chin. “You know I don’t care, right?” You finally said, and he rolled his eyes, grabbing the napkin that was once wrapped around the spoon and wiping the juice from your chin.

He smirked slightly, lifting his hand to move your hair from your face and run his fingers through your long strands. You closed your eyes at the gently feeling, your spine shivering at how good it feels to have him touch you as his hand slowly brushed against your cheek.

You couldn’t help but lean against his slight touch. Yoongi watched, his eyes softening as he looked at your features. He slowly caressed your cheek, your cheek resting in his palm. Your eyes opened slowly to see him looking at you.

You said nothing still, a small smile on your face.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me, Princess.” Yoongi shook his head a little, looking away from you. You looked at him, studying his face. “Show me.” He looked at you, a surprised look on his face. “What?” You stared back at him, your smile widening as your hand went up to grab his wrist. “Yoongi…show me. Show me what I do to you.”

He stared at you as if he didn’t know if you understood what you said to him but you only looked back at him with certainty and he smiled, his white teeth flashing. It disappeared slowly though as he leaned forwards, his other hand on the other side of your face to hold you in place as he placed his lips softly against yours.

You hummed into the kiss, not hesitating to kiss him back and you felt him smile slightly before kissing you a little more passionately, his hand now moving to the back of your neck. You kissed him back just as passionately, your lips almost matching his as he pulled your lips closer into his as if he wanted more.

His actions differed when he quickly pulled away, his hands still on your face as he looked at you. You pouted, wanting more but he shook his head, eliciting a whine from you.

“Spoiled Princess, you’re gonna have to wait until you’re better.” He said, patting your leg. You huffed. “You know, you really piss me off.” You used his words against him. He was quick to retaliate.

“You know I don’t care, right?”

Things have been difficult.

Mrs. Min was stressed that you had an eating disorder, but you reassured her that if Yoongi was always with you, that you’d be fine.

“She’s only worrying because she already bought the venue and entertainment for the wedding.” Yoongi said in your ear as you talked with his mother. You nudged him, glaring at him a little.

“I assure you, Mrs. Min, that I will get better with your son by my side.” You said, looking at Yoongi and you felt his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

Mrs. Min nodded, looking at the two of you. “Well, let’s hope you get better quickly because we need to get your measurements confirmed. Your father gave me some from when he orders your dresses, but I want to go ahead and redo them to make sure they’re accurate.” She looked at her tablet, typing as she spoke. You nodded, feeling Yoongi’s hand squeeze your hip.

“Okay, go get some rest. Yoongi, stay with her and make sure she eats.” Yoongi nodded as he watched his mom walk away from them and down the hall.

“You heard what she said. Time for bed, Princess.” Yoongi watched you scowl at his words and started squirming away from his hold but it only tightened as he pulled you into your room.

“I’m not tired.” You said as you sat on your bed. Yoongi stood in front of you. “Then you don’t have to sleep, but you do need to lay down.” He motioned with his fingers for you to lay down.

You laid down, deciding not to argue with him.You were honestly exhausted. “Yoongi?” You called and he looked at you. “Lay next to me.” His lips curved into a small smile and he nodded as he walked over to the other side of the bed and got under the covers, his arms open as you cuddled up to him. “Now I think I can sleep.”

Yoongi scoffed at your words. “I’m not a pillow or a source of warmth that you can use for your comfort.” He looked down at you as you peered up at him with big eyes. “Whatever…I can’t be mad when you look at me like that.” He reached his hand down to tuck your hair behind your ear.

“I like you a lot, Yoongi.” He shut his mouth quickly at your words. He stared at you, his eyes searching yours before his shoulders relaxed and he pulled you closer to him. “I like you a lot too, Princess.” He quickly pressed his lips against yours and you hummed happily, his lips were like your only source of serenity.

You were the one to pull away this time and you nuzzled your face into his neck, the comfort of his warmth and light cologne quickly putting you to sleep.

Black. That seemed to be the only thing you saw when you dreamed. There really was no explanation for it, nor could anything or anyone help you understand the meaning. That’s just the way your mind worked. Not that you’d complain, since the dreams you’ve heard from other people seemed bothersome.

Sometimes you were glad you couldn’t dream, but sometimes all you wanted was some color. A flash of greens, some reds, or maybe some yellows.

But for the first time in your life, as you dreamed in your deep sleep next to the man you had deep feelings for, you saw color.

The color red.

Author’s Note


I have to apologize, this chapter isn’t as long as I thought it would be, but only because I had to end it at a certain point for Chapter 4 to be probably one of the best chapters i have ever written.

I hope this chapter is good, I know it has fluff but just know that this will be the only chapter that will have fluff.

Every chapter after this will honestly be filled with angst and honestly will have the best, fully detailed smut I’ve ever written in my entire life.

Also, I don’t want Goomar to be the only thing i’m doing, so if you have any scenarios, please don’t hesitate to leave one in my inbox:)