i have absolutely no interest in this movie aside from his scenes

Batman vs Superman was over two hours of two men bickering over who has the biggest brooding cock-I mean, who has the better method of "saving" people and whether or not it's ok for Batman to beat and brand criminals without regarding the fact that not everyone's as wealthy and privileged as his morally upright ass and for Superman to ignore the fact that not everyone's as indestructible as him, meanwhile Wonder Woman over here...


Wonder Woman was vastly superior to bvs for two reasons.

-Wonder Woman is actually a likable lady and an idealistic believable super hero who doesn’t spend her entire moving thinking about how she COULD help people.

She charges in, headfirst, wanting to help people she doesn’t even KNOW because she wants to protect the people who’re dying.

-and Wonder Woman was just so much more subtle and less pretentious about its message.


Let’s talk.

Wonder Woman’s CHARACTER is not that she’s cold and heartless and…well, masculine.

She doesn’t EMULATE men.

She doesn’t need to act like a man to be strong.

She coos at a baby and kisses Chris Pine and doesn’t spend the entire movie ragging on women.

She dresses and acts feminine, and embodies kindness, grace, beauty, everything “feminine.”

And she’s also strong as fucking hell.

That is Wonder Woman.

She’s a good person.

She’s not some cold warrior goddess, an untouchable female shaped ideal.


She sees people suffering in the trenches and her first thought it, stop what we’re doing, we gotta help.

Chris pine and all of his men?

They’ve seen all of this.

They’ve hardened themselves to the horrors of war and accepted them as inevitable.

But Diana, new to the cruelty of the human world, is disgusted and she asks what’s wrong with you?

What is wrong with us?

We have accepted casualties. We have accepted pain.

We have excused suffering because we told ourselves long ago that we couldn’t do anything about it.

But Diana?

She does not accept that.

She fights, yes. She’s ferocious and she, unlike Batman, doesn’t have a compulsion against killing.

She was raised by warrior women, I mean come on.

But who does she fight for?

The women and children who did nothing wrong.

The injured, hopeless men fighting a war to end all wars.

The entire movie was lovely because all of Diana’s bewilderment at the way humans live was incredible.

She’s shocked at how dirty London is.

She’s not impressed by sex and she’s not impressed by war.

She thinks sexism is strange.

But she doesn’t like, rag on it, because Diana is literally so above it that she just wryly questions it at times.

Like I don’t care what all the whiny fanboys say.

There’s not an overt feminist message in this movie.

There’s no “men are so weak.”

There’s “men are corruptible” but as we see, Diana sees them as worth saving in the end, if only to fulfill her own ideals…

Which is feminist as fuck, I guess, because Diana doesn’t defend men because it’s her job.

She defends them because it’s her decision. Her morality. Her duty.

But the feminism in the movie comes from the fact that she’s so kind.

She breaks down when realizing that Ares isn’t behind it all, that MEN are the ones who are cruel to one another.

She sees the war and it’s only senseless violence to her.

All of the people she wants to help are the victims, and it’s clear cut, to her, who’s bad and who’s not.

But Chris Pine helps her realize that humans aren’t so clear cut.

And so even though she was disgusted by human actions, she still wanted to help the people in need.

I absolutely adore the scene where she’s charging across a battle field to pave the way to the town.

First off, it was so badass watching her knock aside artillery like it was nothing as the men cowered in the pits.


She didn’t do a Batman, where she looked at the risks vs the benefits vs the needs of the many and the few.

She just charged in and did what she could.

Chris Pine told her she couldn’t do anything except help him with his plan, in order to stop the war and save them indirectly.

But Diana is a true warrior with the heart of a lion, man.

She helped them directly, with no nonsense, no politicizing, no planning, just action.

At the end she says love will save humanity?

That’s the kind of feminism Wonder Woman was embodying.

Wonder Woman wasn’t this lone independent operator who sneers at men who try to involve themselves in her business.

She was helped and supported by men, but it was clear that she was the star, the true hero who brought them and their plans together but also gave them a new hope, a new heart.

They were jaded by helplessness and mortal frustration, forced to fight to stand stills and accept human deaths.

She came and showed them something miraculous and wonderful: her power.

But not used to beat someone’s head in with a fucking sink.

Used to do good.

To fight for her morals, which aren’t corrupted by the human world’s greyness, not yet.

I loved this movie.

I loved this movie so much.

DC finally did good and we can stop pretending suicide squad and Batman vs superman were good.

Wonder Woman is the good DC movie.

Don’t even try to tell me BVS was better than Wonder Woman because if you genuinely believe that, either out of pride and obstinacy from all your bickering with marvel fans or out of delusional worshipping of anything DC, then I think you just like watching people beat people in slow motion and uncomfortably lofty , corporate-cut and stylized plots as interesting as watching a landscape time lapse.

Suicide squad was cut to bits by its editors, BVS suffered from some severe Snyder wanking, and justice league, I don’t know, we’ll see.

But Wonder Woman?

Best DC movie since dark knight.

God bless Patty.

I knew we needed a woman in charge to get the job done.

Now direct all sexist comments and sneering remarks about feminazis destroying your precious super hero genre with their “love” themes to my inbox where they’ll be lovingly deleted.

Imagine Jared and Misha teasing Jensen because you, his favorite actress and celebrity crush, got a part in Supernatural and he acts like a fanboy.

“So how’s it going guys? It’s been quite some time since I last saw you and so much has changed!” the interviewer said with a smile as the three men nodded their heads.

“Oh yeah definitely! I mean I- I died, so there’s that.” Misha said with a shrug and Jared and Jensen snickered “You know-” he spoke up again, raising a finger “I think the only sad thing about it is that it wasn’t Jared that did it, it’s sad for him at least.” he looked at the taller man you nodded his head with a grin.

“Agree, absolutely agree! So I am just here and apologizing to you Misha, I will try harder next time to convince the writers to let me do that!” he said and Misha laughed himself.

“Well, glad to know you guys are taking well to that!” she laughed.

“Oh yeah, he’s a Winchester. He’ll be back, we don’t worry about that.” Jensen shook his head and Misha grinned.

“I love just how normal this sounds in the fandom to be honest!” she chuckled “Speaking of which: there has been a new addition to it, right?”

“Uh the Nephilim, right?” Jared spoke up with a smile “Yeah, I am sure this will be so much fun, we have already filmed a couple scenes and I’ve read some of the future scenes too and it’s all so much I honestly didn’t know they could take it this far! I really think he’s one of the most interesting characters we’ve ever had.”

“That’s amazing, try not to kill him to fast boys.” she chuckled an they laughed.

“Well, I’ll- I’ll try to hold Jared back since he wants to turn this into Friday the 13th all of a sudden!” Jensen said with a grin, pointing at his friend.

“Me or you? Dude, we need to avenge our friend’s death even if he is not directly responsible!” Jared shook hs head with a laugh.

“You said you’d like to kill me yourself just a second ago!” Misha exclaimed and Jared shrugged.

“That’s exactly what I mean. Took away the perfect opportunity!” he said so simply that it actually made everybody laugh.

“Glad to see you still love each other just as much as the first day, even after all these years.” she said with a giggle.

“Oh trust me!” Jensen piped in “I still want to off both of them just as much as the first day of meeting them!”

“Seriously?” Misha laughed at him as Jensen grinned “What am I supposed to say then you assholes?” he said in disbelief and Jensen shook his head, laughing wholeheartedly.

“Yes, yes we really are a family here as you can see!” Jared said with a big smile.

“That is great to see then.” she chuckled, flipping through her card for the next question “Other than this one addition to the show, one we’ve really been waiting for actually there was one that has been announced this summer and it really surprised everybody! I’m talking about a new ally that we may not know the actual name of but know is going to be one hell of an appearance since she’s portrayed by an amazing actress as (Y/n)!” she said with a grin and Misha and Jared smiled widely as the glanced at Jensen, whose head hang low.

“Oh there we go.” he mumbled and she raised an eyebrow.

“And that would mean?” she asked as she too a look at the snickering Jared and Misha.

“You know I actually thought I was going to avoid the embarrassment but nope, here comes possibly the worst moments of my life.” Jensen rested his chin on his palm and sighed, a little too dramatically.

“Why so?”

“You’ll see. Oh you’ll see.” Jensen mumbled, glancing at his friends from the corner of his eyes.

“Oh relax, we’re not gonna embarrass you… a lot.” Misha said with a shrug as Jensen scoffed.

“Well, let me explain everything cause you seem confused.” Jared got on a serious face and Jared just hid his face behind his hands at what was coming “Jensen is a fan of (Y/n)’s. Like not the normal kind, if there is that, no. Not the ‘Oh I love your movies, can I have an autograph?’ absolutely not. He’s more like- Do you remember Becky from the show?” he asked and she nodded her head.

“Yeah, yeah I do. That kind of fan?”

“No, no.” he shook his head “Worse! Actually much much worse!” he exclaimed and Misha snickered “He’s seen all of her movies at least ten times each, and his favorites- oh those I can’t even count. He knows the dialogs better than the actors that have actually been in them. And he’s seen every interview she’s ever had, like every one of them I am not kidding you! And- and Chuck forbid if she uploads a photo or video on any of her social media oh dear! The first like will always be his! Always I swear!”

“And he sure as hell won’t stop talking or at least thinking about it all day!” Misha spoke up, looking at Jensen who was shaking his head with a small whine leaving his lips “He hasn’t commented on any of them, not yet but oh Castiel help anyone that dares say they are her biggest fan! Nope, they don’t live to see the next day come!” he shook his head “Absolutely not! And let’s not get started when someone mentions her, he will pop in worse than Castiel himself! He almost gave one of the make up artists a heart attack!”

“So as you expect-” Jared wet on from then “When we found out that she had actually audition for a role in Supernatural, we did our best to avoid him at all costs!”

“Why that?”

“Because he was a mess of nerves and stuttering and awkwardness. Dean around a woman has nothing in common with what he was just at the mere thought she’d be on set with us! He’d ask questions about himself, and what she’d think and then thing of everything that could go wrong and all the ways he could embarrass himself in front of her!” Jared said with a chuckle as the only thing Jensen could do was mumble 'I hate you’s.

“Wow I really think that filming this season is going to be interesting then huh?”

“Oh I’m already sure we’ll have the best gag reel ever!” Misha said proudly and Jared nodded his head.

“We can’t wait for the teasing- er I mean shooting to begin!” he said and Misha snickered.

“I- I don’t really know why I hang out with these guys anymore.” Jensen huffed, shifting in his seat.

“Well, although Jared and Misha made it pretty clear I’d like to ask you Jensen if you have anything to say about (Y/n) being in Supernatural?”

“Well, uhm I’m sorry for a moment I was too caught up planning their deaths.” Jensen cleared his throat, blinking.

“Pff as if. He’s too caught up thinking about her. Cough – celebrity crush for life – cough some more.” Jared said with a smirk and Jensen only rolled his eyes.

“I’m gonna try to ignore the moose and uhm say that, honestly and all jokes aside I was really excited that we were going to have such an amazing actress on the show. It’s not every day an oscars’ winner wants to be part of this. I know she declined several movies to be able to be here with us, at least for this season and if that’s not honoring enough I don’t know what is.” he shrugged “I think- honestly, know she is going to do an amazing job in bringing this character to life and give her the depth and feelings she really needs and yeah maybe it’s the fan in me talking but I really think this is going to be my favorite season so far!”

“Alright, it’s great to hear that from you guys now.” she flipped through her cards, her eyebrows shot up once she read the question.

“Oh wow, alright- so I have a you could say question here that has been sent by the actual authors of the show to me. They told me they wanted the reactions captured on camera and I couldn’t understand then but now I really do understand.” she chuckled, catching their attention.

“They said they wanted to tell it to you when giving out the script for the next episode you have to film but found this as a great opportunity to let you, especially Jensen, know.” she looked at them.

“I’m… kinda scared now.” he mumbled.

“They’re killing you off dude!” Jared said with a snicker “Shame you won’t have a scene with your princess.” he said and only got a hit on the head from him.

“Uh actually quite the opposite.” she spoke up “To Jensen: How does it feel being told that (Y/n)’s character is going to be Dean’s most serious love interest along with everything that comes with that?

It’s come to my attention that amidst the glory that is Wonder Woman many people are saying “This is what a DC movie should be like” and that godforsaken article “the dceu is in trouble everyone liked Wonder Woman” all the while blatantly ignoring the vivid and prominent parallels between Wonder Woman and the other DC movies, specifically Man of Steel and Batman v Superman, because they seem to be at center of all the vitriol. Some of these aren’t parallels necessarily, just things BvS and MoS have been criticized for that magically no one mentioned about Wonder Woman.

Let’s start out with the most obvious, yeah?

1. Wonder Woman was FUN!!!

No. It wasn’t. Let me explain, I had a blast in this movie, it moved me, it made me laugh, it made me cry, it made my blood pump and while I am so blown away by seeing a movie directed with the female gaze and with all these amazing female warriors, this isn’t a FunTM movie. It’s set in World War I for god’s sake. It never shies away from the atrocities experienced by the citizens and soldiers in this war. It shows realistically what PTSD looks like through Charlie. It brings up interesting and complex ideas and hard facts about racism, politics, sexism and the arrogance of mankind. There are light moments for sure, but it isn’t bouncy happy fun all the time. I would say it isn’t humorous or light the majority of the time either. It’s a very serious movie, it expects you to take it seriously and you do. The thing is, Batman v Superman and Man of Steel are the SAME way. There’s humorous moments, light moments, but they are serious movies with complex ideas about heroism and being an immigrant in a strange world and how the darkness can corrupt even the most justice and moral driven of heroes. I had in watching them. I had amazing experiences. So did many others. But none of these movies are “fun” movies. They don’t shy away from sacrifice or darkness. They acknowledge that. You can have fun experiencing the movie, and laugh at its humor, but it isn’t a lighthearted film.

2. Colors!!

I mean, we’ve all hear the terms “dark and gritty” and “lacking color” when talking about the DCEU, which is frankly bullshit but I digress. Wonder Woman wasn’t really “colorful” either. Themiscyra was, but I mean it’s a magically hidden island of Amazons from ancient times. But as soon as they leave the island, the world is grey and dark and dismal. Diana calls it hideous. But this didn’t seem to detract anyone from enjoying the movie or following the story. Diana’s suit isn’t even that brightly colored, something Henry Cavill’s Superman has been criticized constantly about. Both movies use color and the lack thereof, shadows, darkness, to help tell the story.

3. Mental health/Triggering

Both Wonder Woman and Batman v Superman tackle PTSD in very real, pointed ways. Each depicts scenes where characters clearly struggle with nightmares, triggers, and outbursts from what they’re experiencing. Both did so in a compelling and realistic way and yet one was mocked relentlessly and one was not. Batman v Superman lingers on the mental health issues the characters are experiencing more, but they are central parts of the story and how it progresses. Bruce’s PTSD is what allows him to be manipulated by Lex’s games. Charlie’s PTSD is real and heartbreaking, but he is surrounded by friends and people who understand, Bruce is largely along besides Alfred who honestly doesn’t now how to help anymore.

4. The name game

So something I heard over and over as a criticism for Man of Steel was
that no one calls him “Superman”. People said Zack Snyder was afraid to use the name, despite the fact this was an origin story and he wasn’t Superman yet. Despite the fact that Captain Ferris calls him Superman by the end of the film(and I agree Ferris, he’s totally hot). Yet Wonder Woman was not called by “Wonder Woman” in the film and no one seemed to have any problem with that.

5. Stories about sacrifice

This one really gets my goat. Man of Steel ended in the destruction of Metropolis, but the hope we could rebuild. Batman v Superman ended with Clark’s death, but the idea that men are still good, justice is coming. Wonder Woman ended with Steve’s death, but that love is the most powerful motivation for heroism. All three of these things are important, and yet BvS was trashed for implying that heroism requires sacrifice and Clark should have just given Diana the spear. Well, as Wonder Woman also expertly showed us, sometimes, you can’t do everything. Diana told Steve whatever it was, she could do it. But she couldn’t. There was no time. He could save the day, but she needed to save the world. In Batman v Superman a similar situation unfolds: a creature from another word. Batman has the gas, but he’s a weak human compared to Doomsday. Diana is strong, but she’s holding Doomsday back with the lasso. And there’s Clark who knows that he has to do something. He has the spear. When you can do something you have the responsibility to. That’s what being a hero means. So he does. In both cases that sacrifice reminded the heroes of what heroism really is about: hope, love, the fact that humanity is deeply flawed but worth fighting for. This lesson is also demonstrated in Man of Steel when Clark has to kill Zod to save a family.

6. The Hero loses faith

When Batman v Superman came out Superman/Clark was heavily criticized about the fact that he has a crisis of faith, right after the bombing and before Doomsday it really looks like Clark is going to give up. That he’s going to hang up the cape and give up the dream of being the people’s guardian. Diana has a similar experience. After fake-Ares is killed and she sees that nothing stopped, she has an absolute breakdown. Her entire worldview, everything she was taught was shaken and uprooted. Steve tries to convince her that people are worth believing in, and when he can’t he goes back to doing what he must do. He must help save people. In both situations, the heroes are put to the test when people they love are put in danger and face real doubts about heroism and themselves. In both cases, each hero makes the choice to continue the battle. Diana saves Doctor Poison, choosing to believe in humanity and and take down Ares. Clark does his best to reason with Bruce, who he considered a violent vigilante, to stand down, and even after the fight goes beyond his control he begs him to save Martha, he doesn’t care if Bruce kills him first, as long as he saves her. He puts his trust in Bruce’s humanity and THAT is why they are able to put their differences aside to help fight Doomsday. In both cases the crisis of faith were important developmental moments, showcasing to the audience how grueling and disheartening being a hero is sometimes. Sometimes people don’t understand, they vilify you, they mistrust you. Sometimes you don’t win, and those failures have a high cost. Do you keep going? Both these movies answer yes.

Listen, I’m really not asking you to like the other DC movies if you liked Wonder Woman. They are different movies and each film had different strengths and weaknesses, but I am saying that as a whole MoS and BvS have gotten some pretty unfair criticism due to largely what I think comes down to Zack Snyder. Some people don’t want to like his films, so they don’t. But in the light of all that Wonder Woman is getting praise for, which it deserves, that both the other films did well along side it is hypocritical. Patty and Allan did an incredible job, but I would like to remind people that Zack casted Gal Gadot, not Patty, and Zack, along with others, helped write the story that Allan adapted into a screenplay. This movie was a team effort in a grand scheme of films that had its own wonderful unique qualities while sharing the ideals and driving force that its predecessors did.

anonymous asked:

what was the trainwreck anime from Bee Train that Clamp refuses to acknowledge?

Ho boy, let me tell you a thing.

But first, I want to mention that the musical score composed by Kujiura Yuki for the anime was boooomb. I still love it even to this day, it’s so beautiful.  

That aside, the anime adaptation for TRC was a bust. It only had two seasons and in that time, they dedicated half of it to prolonged scene-changes and fillers. Seriously, you’d sit there for the last 60 seconds of the episode just staring at a zoom out. Plus, they didn’t even follow the story in chronological order which is so unnecessary and only adds to the overall confusion.

With the exception of a couple entertaining fillers (aka the chibi-fied episode), the rest of them were nonsense and it diverged from the plot so much that someone only watching the anime would be confused and/or bored to death. There was also a very strong sense that they were trying to say no homo by leaving out a lot of stuff that happened in the manga and inserting some stuff for the sake of heteronormativity. Because God forbid that a main character can be integral to the plot, know thousands of ways to kill you, and happens to be attracted to the same sex all at the same time. I know, very mindblowing stuff. 

For example, they dedicated an entire episode to a ‘date’ between Fai and a double of Chii from another world. WHICH. SPOILERS. If you read the manga, you’d know that Fai created Chii in the image of his late mother, not as a potential romantic interest. But of course, someone only watching the episodes is more inclined to think that there’s something between them and it makes the rest of us quite uncomfortable. For obvious reasons. 

In the world of LeCourt (Recourt?), as we all know, a dramatic transition happens when Fai uses his magic in order to get them to teleport into Acid Tokyo. In the anime, they skip over this entirely and put them in several more worlds with sub-par plot ideas (eg. Sakura’s feathers manifesting into a person who’s jealous of Syaoran) before ending season two on a very ambiguous note. There was no sense of closure, they just abruptly ended it with them running gallantly into an open field. No, I’m not kidding. This basically follows the frustrating trend of ‘guess you gotta go read the manga for more ~!’ that a lot of anime adaptations seem to do. But what’s the fucking point of creating the anime if you don’t intend on giving it a good story? It just muddies the reputation of the entire series and it could even turn people away from reading the manga.

The quality of the animation is standard at best and godawful at its laziest. Although to this point, if an anime has poor animation, I’m always at odds because I know for a fact that the anime industry pays their artists squat. They have to work long hours every day for very little pay, but that’s a side-note and I won’t diverge into that can of worms.

And yes, I understand that CLAMP’s style for these characters is supposed to elongate the limbs and torsos, but even in the manga, especially the splash pages, you can at least see Kurogane’s muscles and you’re like: oh yes, that’s definitely a warrior. In the anime though, he just looks like he has sticks for arms and absolutely no core strength. 

Bonus points to the movie for bringing Kurogane’s muscles home from the war.

But, there are some OVAs made by Production I.G. which are better quality and remains true to the story, those being Tokyo Revelations and Spring Thunder Chronicles. I’d definitely recommend watching those if you haven’t yet.

There are probably more things that I’m forgetting so anyone is more than welcome to add to the list!

‘cause when you walked into the room just then

theatre au collab with @alrightpotter. here’s her part.

a/n: lucie, my love!!! happy birthday!!! i’d want to know you if you reached peak gay or became buffy summers dog or could only eat car tires. i love you badly. id probably give up weetbix for you. have the best day in the world.

Godric’s Post                                                                              8th February 2009

Film: The Wind In the Whomping Willows
Director: Bathilda Bagshot
Plot Summary: 4 friends go for a picnic. Boredom ensues.

I’ve never liked Bathilda Bagshot, and yes this may have been because of an incident at one of my parents’ house parties where she literally hissed at me when I reached for another baked potato, but the point still stands. She continues rely on prolonged dialogue scenes that don’t move the plot along and stretch to the point of absurdity, until the viewer is begging for a change in scene, shot, anything, only to presented with (unbelievably) yet more boredom.  

So put aside whatever resentment you’re harbouring that I just name dropped Bathilda Bagshot and that she used to come to my house, and wallow in how wasted my Friday night was watching this garbage. My personal highlight was the closing credits, because it meant I could at last be free from this endless hell of four people sitting in a wood, talking about sandwiches and grass for two hours straight.

Naturally I imagine some people enjoyed the film, (Bagshot does know her way around a camera, I’ll give her that, the cinematography was flawless.) however dear, cherished, hopefully-subscribed-and-not-reading-this-on-the-free-trial-reader, I must ask: who doesn’t like a little during movie commentary? Before Friday I would have said no one, but after Friday I would have to say no one, with the exception of uptight, haughty gingers.

Rather like Penelope Clearwater’s unfortunate character in The Wind in the Whomping Boredom, I too found myself being falsely accused of a crime I did not commit. In Clearwater’s case (she shines in the film, despite Bagshot’s insistence she be holding a mirror in every scene) it was of stealing the picnic sandwiches. Mine was the slightly more serious charge of ‘injuring’ a fellow reviewer.

I want it stated for the record that no such injury occurred, and that as far as I am aware popcorn is rarely classified as an assault weapon, but I am willing to hear argument on the matter. However I could be wrong because the reviewer in question seemed to genuinely enjoy the Wind In the Whomping Waste of Time, so maybe it wasn’t her eye that should be examined, but her brain.

In summary: this film has done the impossible and been even more tedious than Bagshot’s last effort, A History of the Snake Inside Me, which I didn’t think possible. My nine-year-old criticisms rarely stand up to scrutiny but I think my judgement of Ms Bagshot being The Worst has proven correct. Furthermore, I want it noted for no particular reason at all that if at any point I am contacted by a lawyer about paying medical bills for a non-existent injury, I will do something else ‘ridiculous’ and ‘childlike’ like toilet papering a Certain Reviwers house or broadcasting my witty and hilarious movie commentary over a loudspeaker during each and every film I will ever attend from this point on.

(the editor Remus J. Lupin wishes to clarify for legal reasons that comments above are aimed at no particular individual, all wishes views presented are the writer and the writers views alone, and to please not sue the paper)

Godric’s Post                                                                                  3rd March 2009

Film: 101 Fantastic Beasts
Director: Newt Scamander
Plot Summary: CGI animals have a good time. Audience have a good time.

Scamander has always had a talent for animation, even his questionable films like Beasts Which Are Fantastic If Only We Knew Where To Find Them (nonsensical, long-winded title) and The Porpentina Goldstein Story (thought it was going to be about hedgehogs. It was not.) should be seen purely for their onscreen beauty alone.

Thankfully, 101 Fantastic Beats wasn’t a repeat of the Hedgehog Incident but rather exactly what it says on the tin, 101 Fantastic Beasts romping around the city and having a jolly good time, until one of them dies and the entire world becomes a bleak hell-scape that you are desperate to escape because you can’t stop crying.

Unfortunately my screening experience of this charming film was somewhat hindered by the near constant stream of insults and accusations of ‘eye assault’ from a Certain Reviewer which culminated in said reviewer tipping popcorn that Was Not Hers across The Innocent Victims Lap.

The reviewers in question needn’t have ever spoken again but because a Certain Reviewer had slandered another Wholly Blameless Reviewer in her paper, which the Wholly Blameless Reviewer’s Mother reads, some things had to be sorted out. And those things were trying to get the Certain Reviewer to print a retraction so the Wholly Blameless Reviewers Mother would stop bloody going on about it.  

On top of this Wholly Blameless was mocked mercilessly for showing emotion during what ranks as one of the most heart-breaking scenes of all time, next to such movie moments as the ending of Dead Poets Society and the shooting of Bambi’s mother in Bambi. Obviously a Certain Reviewer needs to borrow a heart so she doesn’t have to poke fun at others for having what she does not: feelings. Wholly Blameless would be happy to lend her some of his, as he’s just good like that and not at all the ‘slice of expired a*shole’ he’d previously been accused of being.

101 Beasts has heart (unlike Certain Reviewer’s) and is appropriate for the whole family excluding twelve year olds, because obviously they’re terrible and you’d never want to take them anywhere anyway, so it’s a win-win.

(The editor wishes to clarify that the writers list of saddest movie moments is flawed because it has left off the Jack death scene from Titanic because the writer thinks ‘Cameron clearly emotionally manipulated the audience’ and ‘there was plenty of room for both of them on that door’ because the writer is an imbecile. The editor cannot believe he is the film critic.)

Godric’s Post                                                                                  11th April 2009

Film: The Cupboard Under The Stairs
Director: Gilderoy Lockhart
Summary: You really don’t want to know.

Gilderoy Lockhart has won two Oscars, and yet every time I watch one of his films I have to forcefully remind myself that it wasn’t shot by a nine-year old with a camcorder who uses their dog as a sound assistant. The dullness of the film will stun and bewilder all who see it, as it defies reason why such a thing should be made.

True Hairy Chins Shouldn’t Be Seen By The Public was wildly funny (despite meaning to be a serious documentary), but aside from that I can’t think of a Lockhart film I’ve ever enjoyed aside from classics like Gadding With Ghouls and Travels With Trolls which hardly look like Lockhart films at all, despite him having directed them.

Cupboard Under The Stairs is so mind-blowing ridiculous, from the wooden dialogue to the extended shots of director and star Lockhart doing mind-numbingly boring tasks while smiling garishly, that when I found myself sitting next to a Certain Reviewer I didn’t even bother to move but rather stayed if only to have something to do. A slight physical fight broke out, and by fight I mean a Certain Reviewer hit me for a comment I made about the twenty second long director credit, so obviously I pinched her, and then before I knew what was happening we had been thrown out.

I don’t want you to think, dear reader who has clicked on this review and therefore pays my rent, that I might have acted unprofessionally by getting thrown out a movie twenty minutes in. I want to clarify: I absolutely acted unprofessionally. There is no ‘might’ about it. But my point still stands: the film was garbage, and that fact that I could tell this from only the first twenty minutes is further evidence of its garbagery.

Now I know at this point you’re all clambering to hear more about the two hours I spent alone with a Certain Reviewer, as for some bizarre reason, you’re all incredibly interested in our relationship built off pure loathing and irritation. Well, prepare yourselves readers, because a Certain Reviewer’s favorite filmmaker is not only Wes Anderson (!! There should be a limit to the amount of pastel on a screen at one point). But she also hasn’t read the best novel of all time, The Great Gatsby, and then told me that that ‘wasn’t that weird’ and asked me to ‘close my mouth’ because ‘its been two minutes’ and its ‘getting weird’.

However she did earn points back by liking Star Wars (if she hadn’t, I may have committed a crime worse than Cupboard Under the Stairs’ acting) and she also noted that Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet was her sexual awakening, and I to felt a deep attraction to DiCaprio and still do despite his insistence on growing a beard every few years. She laughed at this, but I think it was a laugh of agreement, so therefore it wasn’t bad.

Cupboard Under the Stairs was one of the worst atrocities committed to film, but a Certain Reviewer agreed that Han shooting first was an important part of his character, so all is not wrong with the world.

Text from James Potter to Sirius Black: do u think i look like leonardo dicaprio

Sirius Black: no

Sirius Black: is this bc evans said she liked him

James Potter: absolutely not

Text from James Potter to Remus Lupin: do i look like leo dicaprio

Remus Lupin: firstly, dont call him leo

Remus Lupin: and secondly, obvsly not

Remus Lupin: no two people have ever looked more different

James Potter: fuck u

Text from James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: do i look like leo dicaprio

Peter Pettigrew: no u look like u have a thing for evans

Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me to say that

Peter Pettigrew: whos evans

James Potter: do u not even read my fuckin column pete

Peter Pettigrew: it costs four pounds a week to subscribe to ur shitty paper i don’t have that kind of money

Godric’s Post                                                                                     3rd May 2009


The Godric’s own Sirius Black, gossip columnist extraordinaire, was sent to the Red Carpet premiere of A Streetcar Named the Knightbus and reported back to us on all the hot gossip and glamour of the night.

In what may have been my favorite red-carpet to date, not in the least because Rita Skeeter was thrown out for badgering guests only ten minutes in, but because the greatest thing in the world happened. It was so great in fact, that I managed to look past the colossal injustice of me not being invited to walk the carpet myself, which was clearly a mistake (the editor Remus J Lupin would like to clarify it was not) and have a roaring good night.

May I just clarify that by roaring good night I mean I got absolutely plastered (The editor wishes to state that The Godric does not promote drinking) so the night comes back to me in bits, and from what I can remember everyone looked great. I can’t remember what the film was about, or even if they let me in (editor: they did not.) but even if it wasn’t I’m sure the film was good too. (editor: it was average)

But as I mentioned above, the best thing in the world happened, and that was that The Godric’s very own film critic James Potter got to walk the red carpet. He will tell you this is because his insightful and poignant columns are finally getting the attention they deserve. Any sane person would then loudly talk over him and say the real reason is because he’s become rapidly more popular with the introduction of a Miss Lily Evans, also a film critic, into his weekly reviews. Or, as James calls her, A Certain Reviewer. (editor: for legal reasons the editor must assert that A Certain Reviewer could be any individual and to please not sue the paper for defamation.)

Turns out Miss Evans had a popularity boost as well, because she was also on the red carpet, looking ravishing in a backless teal ballgown, and honestly, readers, it was a sight to see Evans in that dress. Potter obviously thought so to, as he spent the entire night staring. And not subtle staring. Obvious, in-awe, I-can’t-believe-a-person-can-look this-good, staring.

Now, once I’d gotten over the fact that not once in our ten-year friendship had James ever given me that look, I was absolutely thrilled. I had a thirty pound bet going that they’d be together by May and I’d just won, if that look was any indication. (the editor: it was twenty pounds.)

Furthermore, Evans and Potter spent the entire night talking, not even noticing how the cameras had utterly latched on to them despite having no idea who they were, purely based on the looks they were giving each other. It was a sight to behold, seeing two utterly oblivious people in formalwear hold a conversation probably about the merits of dressing gowns (they talk about weird stuff like that) while what felt like the entire world took photos.

Now I’m aware I’m meant to be discussing the gossip and glamour from the whole night and not just two D-list celebrities who happen to both be my friends. But consider this: I do not care. These photos are modern art. Both so clearly have a crush on each other it’s embarrassing. Even Moony would have to agree (the editor: I do.). Anyway, in summary of the night: I bet everyone reading this that they’ll be screwing in a month. Mark my words.

[image: a man in a suit and a woman in a dress, against a while backdrop with A Street Car Named the Knightbus film logo printed across it. Her head is turned towards him, laughing, holding a delicate purse. He is looking at her, mouth parted, like she is the first girl he has ever seen. Something to be looked at just to make sure she didn’t disappear, blown by the wind, like in a dream. A dream girl- except not. A real girl, in a real dress, in a real place. He can’t quite believe it. A hundred camera flashes go in the background.]

Text from Sirius Black to James Potter: so whens the wedding

James Potter: i fuckin hate u

Sirius Black renamed the group james’ got the hots for evans

James Potter: this is cyber bullying

James Potter: im calling netsafe

Remus Lupin renamed the group netsafe cant help the fact that ur in love with evans

James Potter renamed the group stop now

Sirius Black renamed the group not a chance mate

Sirius Black created the Facebook Page Lily Evans and James Potter should get it on

This page received 17,798 likes.

Text from Lily Evans to Sirius Black: im going to fucking maim u. take it down.

Sirius Black: sent a link

Lily Evans: if that’s a link to the fucking page i will cut your balls off

Sirius Black: its not

Sirius Black: on an unrelated note do not click on that link it is a virus I just remembered

Remus Lupin created the Facebook Page Lily Evans and James Potter should get it on part two because lily made us delete the last one

This page received: 21,104 likes.

(don’t forget to check out ellie’s part here)

Heartache on the Big Screen (Asa x reader)

Anonymous said: Hiya! First off I love this blog SO much. And, I was wondering if you could do an imagine/reader insert thing where the reader is playing the love interest of Asa’s character in a movie and Asa and the reader actually develop a relationship? Thanks!

Aww! Thank you so much! Let’s go!

Originally posted by worldundermyskinn

Keep reading

Well, that was unexpected.

I know we’ve all had over a year to get used to this kid’s take on the character, and two to wrap our heads around the concept of Homecoming in the first place, but it really is worth reflecting again for a moment on how this movie is impossible. This movie can not be. Spider-Man’s over there, and the X-Men are over there, and the Avengers are over here, and we all knew from day one of Feige & companies’ grand experiment that never the twain would meet. Hell, it wasn’t even just box office failure or negotiations that led to this, but the franchises’ sheer freak incidental connection to The Interview via Sony and therefore the North Korean hack a few years back, with the humiliating scope of how little Sony knew what they were doing with Spidey spilling out into the public eye and forcing them into a corner where they had to take the only realistic way out that everyone was also now yelling at them to do.

But, well, it happened, and in getting the biggest character they could under their umbrella, Marvel Studios had to take on what must have been an almost unthinkable degree of pressure with this flick. Because with this, they had to:

1. Do a movie with an exponentially more popular character than they’d ever handled before.

2. Do the sixth movie in this characters’ series and make it distinct, without moving him into wildly new narrative territory because they want to bank on the preexisting affection for him.

3. Handle this characters’ second reboot in a decade, when the last one was already getting reboot fatigue complaints.

4. Establish this character not just as a successful new franchise like Doctor Strange or Ant-Man, but as the guy who they’ve all but publicly announced they’ll be positioning as the central figure of their $11 billion and counting cinematic universe once Evans and Downey leave.

5. Do all this knowing that if they fuck it up out of the gate they might not necessarily have a second chance to get it right, Sony might just take their ball and go home.

So…it’s fair that I wasn’t expecting too much here, right? Not that I thought it would be bad by any means, but the trailers weren’t exactly blowing me away, they weren’t going to address Uncle Ben which meant the arguable biggest underlying idea of Spider-Man - his overwhelming guilt - wasn’t going to be in here, they were shortchanged a lot of Spider-Man’s biggest stories between wanting to avoid the previous ones and Sony wanting to play hardball with the villains (whether in the hopes of prodding Marvel to fork over a billion or two to buy Spider-Man back outright, or because they’re genuinely dumb enough to think that after all this they can really make a successful solo Venom/Kraven/Mysterio/Black Cat/Silver Sable movie series), and it had an untested director and like six writers. By all indications, this was going to be a very conservative, standard-issue, focus-tested-to-hell-and-back MCU flick where they’d play it fairly safe while integrating him into the larger universe and giving Tom Holland a chance to charm audiences into accepting him, and hopefully all involved would try something a little ballsier for the sequel. No crime, understandable given the circumstances, but they’d have a lot of work to do later on.

This is the first great Spider-Man movie.

Some obvious caveats there: yes, the first two Raimi films are great superhero movies, but as far as I’m concerned that the dude in there is named Peter Parker and wears Spider-Man’s costume is a complete coincidence. They’re the endpoint of a very particular, masochistic strain of thought on the character as defined by pain and isolation - rather than being a dumb teen who thinks the world is constantly shitting on him, because he’s a dumb teen and of course he thinks that - losing in the process most of his charm and energy in favor of framing him as sainted, suffering martyr to New York’s sins. The Amazing movies on the other hand had a basically perfect Spidey in Andrew Garfield, the embodiment of the frustrated, funny, cocky, eventually decent Parker of the original Lee/Ditko years, but he and Emma Watson’s great Gwen Stacy were embedded in some overall crappy movies, which had the unfortunate side-effect of rendering that interpretation of the character radioactive for the time being.

This, on the other hand?

Not to too dramatically oversell what happened here - this isn’t an all-timer hall of fame entry to stand alongside your Dark Knights or Logans. They didn’t take any bold, outlandish risks with it either; this isn’t any more of a deviation from the tonal norm for these movies than, say, Winter Soldier. It’s got flaws to be sure: a couple characters don’t get the time and development they probably deserve (especially Zendaya’s Michelle, who it feels like the writers wanted to invest with a little more of a sense of character development by the end than she’d been given), the plot definitely isn’t as tight as it could be, and the music’s nowhere near as good as the trailers and early parts of the movie would have you think. But it’s a damn fun and funny movie with a lot of heart and palpable stakes, anchored by a take on its hero that, rather than going for a more generic “goofy savior” cartoon-style version I was expecting, ends up pretty heavily and thankfully indebted to Brian Bendis’ original run on Ultimate Spider-Man. It’s a Spider-Man who really does always want to do the right thing and doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but at the same time he’s shortsighted as hell and driven by a boundless need to prove himself for the sake of both spite and a hope of acceptance, mixed with low-grade resentment of his circumstances that gives him just enough of an edge to feel like an actual teenager. Left without the option of talking about his sense of responsibility in terms of guilt, the filmmakers wisely chose to instead blur the line between where his sense of heroism ends and his self-interest begins and ask how far he’s really willing to go in favor of the former, and what kind of strength there actually is in him when it truly comes down to it after a whole movie’s worth of him essentially treating superheroism as an after-school gig.

Speaking of him as a teenager, boy all the high school stuff was great in this one. Maguire and Garfield both paid lip-service to that material as a necessary component of his youth, but speaking as someone only a few years out of those days, this absolutely felt authentic. The crappy announcements, the deliberately weird kids who clearly think they’re better than everyone else, the assholes, no one really knowing yet how to keep themselves in check emotionally, the low stakes that are still at that point the most important thing in your world - even the physical classrooms felt real (I got some serious nostalgia seeing those stacked chairs in the visibly repurposed music room, or the gigantic hall pass). It’s as petty and small-scale as Peter’s time as Spider-Man largely is, and therefore can integrate into the plot as an important part of what’s going on far more easily than ever before, even aside from being the source of a ton of excellent bit players like the teacher in charge of the debate team. The larger characters by and large do just fine too; Tomei’s warm and funny as May, Harrier does a solid job as Liz Allen (especially considering that while she’s the love interest and ends up pretty important plot-wise, they never cheap out try and position her as some true love figure when she and Peter barely know each other), Batalon is fun as hell as Not Technically Ganke, Zendaya steals her scenes even if I get the impression there might have been some meatier work left on the cutting-room floor, Downey is Downey, Favreau as Happy Hogan does a great job essentially taking Jolly Jonah Jameson’s place as the dickish, unreasonable authority figure in Peter’s life, and Keaton is scary as hell with just enough screwed-over “how dare you take what I’ve earned” resentment in the vein of many of USM’s better villains to make him feel like a real guy. And you saw Civil War, you already know Holland’s basically perfect.

There’s a dozen other bits I’d love to go into - like how much mileage they pull out of him not operating in Manhattan proper, or how well the seemingly out-of-place tech actually ends up working, or any number of great moments - but I’d prefer to keep this largely spoiler-free. Suffice it to say that the trailers, which already indicated a pretty decent time at the theater, were misleading: as much as they showed they really did leave a lot of the best out, and what they kept generally works far better in context. To be sure there’s room for improvement in the next one, but this was a far better reintroduction and recontextualization of the character than anyone had any right to expect, and it absolutely does the heavy legwork of setting him up as an engaging figure for the MCU to believably end up pivoting around in years and movies to come. Upper-tier Marvel to be sure; somehow they did the impossible and managed to actually earn a title that brazenly cheeky as hell. Sony, for once you made the right call with Spider-Man: stop thinking you have good ideas and let the grown-ups handle things from here.

Søndag 18.6.17 kl 13.11 [Penetrator Chris]

Title: A Little Less Than a Thousand Miles [1.2K]
Requested by: @outofclutterfindsimplicity
Little fluff where Eva and Chris are watching movies or netflix in her bed and she just asks him if he wants to go to the Eid pre-party with her. :)

It was approximately three hours later after their rather…awkward encounter with the bewildered Miss Anne-Marit. Eva was pretty sure her mom looked absolutely everywhere except in their general direction before she muttered out a strange excuse about needing to go to work even though it was Sunday and nearly knocked the lamp right off the table in her hurry to grab her keys.

Eva wasn’t sure why he mom was so jittery, it wasn’t like she’d never had a boyfriend before. There was Jonas, who, sure, she didn’t get to meet, but this was just Chris

Eva studies the boy sitting beside her up and down to see if there was anything in particular that would have scared her off. It might have been the nakedness part, though, Eva’s confident it was definitely that.

They’re sitting on the couch in the living room, way too cramped together for a couple of people inhabiting such a large and spacious couch. Chris has his legs on the coffee table, crossed at the ankles and leaning back casually into the cushion behind him. Eva is curled up in his side, her head resting on his shoulder and her fingers tracing indistinct pattern on the exposed part of his stomach.

They were channel surfing the television in silence; Chris once in a while reaching up with his free hand that was curled around Eva’s shoulders to run his fingers through her hair.

The keyword here being: were. As in past tense. As in they had at one point during their co-inhabitation of the living room been channel surfing, until Chris had come across the pinnacle of modern day entertainment, as he’d put it, and put away the remote despite Eva’s many protests.

Yes, they were watching White Chicks on TV, and it wasn’t under any sort of duress.

“Chris, seriously,” she complains, as she’d been complaining consistently for the past twenty minutes or so.

Eva, seriously,” he mimics the usual cheeky grin on his face and the sparkle in his eye that Eva usually ended up getting absolutely mesmerized by. But definitely not today! “Come on, Eva. How can you not like this movie? It’s a masterpiece!” he motions to the TV with an indignant gesture.

“Besides the fact that I’m not a fan of the Wayans brother in general? What is actually the point of this movie?”

Chris looks genuinely bewildered by her statement. “It’s a couple of black guys, pretending to be Paris Hilton type white girls to infiltrate a ring of white collar criminals. That’s the point, Eva. It’s genius!”

“For a fuckboy whose call sign is Penetrator Chris, you really are such a nerd,” she says, but she has a small endeared smile on her face.

“But I’m your nerd,” he says teasingly in reply, grinning widely.

Keep reading

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #199 - The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) According to IMDb:

New Line Cinema wanted Peter Jackson to start the film with a prologue done by Cate Blanchett, something that Jackson didn’t want to do. Ironically, a year earlier, New Line Cinema had been opposed to opening the first film with a prologue narrated by Blanchett, something, of which, Jackson was in favor.

2) Beginning this film by revisiting such an iconic moment from the first (The Bridge of Khazad Dum) and continuing to push said moment past where it ended in Fellowship helps to make the film unique. It won’t just be a retread of familiar material but instead something which continues to push the story forward as all the best sequels do. It also sets the bar high for all ensuing action, as this was one of the (if not the) best moments from the original.

3) This film really doubles down on deepening the relationships introduced in Fellowship, with the romance kinship between Sam and Frodo. It is their relationship which the audience invests in, it’s something personal we can attach to. Sure Frodo losing his life or soul to the ring would be awful, but seeing how it effects Sam just ups the pain.

Originally posted by tlotrgifs

4) Andy Serkis as Gollum.

Originally posted by coquillages-crustaces-et-moi

Holy shit, Andy Serkis as Gollum. Don’t let the fact that this is a CG role fool you, this is pretty much ALL Andy Serkis. Gollum’s facial features were based on his performance by the animator. All the physicality, all the vocals, the emotion, the heart, the character is Andy Serkis. He is so freaking otherworldly as the iconic character, blending completely into the role in a way only the best actors can. You don’t SEE Serkis in the part because he casts anything that is him aside to embrace the devious Gollum. And while I cannot possible undersell the importance and absolutely stellar work Serkis put into the part, a motion capture role is either limited or supported by the animators behind it. The character of Gollum is a perfect marriage between animation and performance, making you not doubt for one second that this is a real living character. Stealing pretty much every scene he’s in if not the entire film, Serkis should have been nominated for an Oscar because of his role in these films but wasn’t because it was motion capture. But this does not undermine the fact that Serkis by far gives the best performance in the entire trilogy.

5) The fact that the Fellowship was broken up in the last film allows for much more character development in this one. The heroes are not fitting for screen time or development in a scene with eight other characters. By separating them into the groups of Frodo and Sam; Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli; and Merry and Pippin, all the characters get more room to shine and be developed.

6) Karl Urban may not have a lot of room to shine but that doesn’t mean he’s not as good in this movie as he is in others. Urban is a wonderfully gifted character actor, able to blend into any role which comes his way and Éomer is no different. You don’t see Urban so much as you just see the character.

Originally posted by middleearthandjourneys

7) One of my favorite things in the entire trilogy really begins to take form in this film and that is the bromance between Legolas and Gimli.

Legolas [after Éomer threatens to cut off Gimli’s head, pointing an arrow at him]: “You would die before your stroke fell.”

8) There’s this wonderful scene in the movie where Aragorn and company are at the site of the orc fight (where Merry and Pippin last were). What makes it work is that we briefly got a glimpse of this moment earlier. The orcs began fighting attackers and it looked like Pippin was going to be crushed by a horse when it just cut away. But by flashing back to what really happened while Aragorn figures it out for himself does two things well. First of all, it follows the rule of show don’t tell. Secondly: it doesn’t waste the audience’s time by showing us what happened THEN having Aragorn realize it himself. By combining it the film’s pacing improves.

9) Treebeard.

Originally posted by akhaste

I really like Treebeard, he’s a wonderfully multifaceted character. He is able to be slow, paced, patient, but also has some deep anger sometimes. Voiced by John Rhys Davies (who also plays Gimli), the actor does a good job of making Treebeard sympathetic and interesting when (in lesser hands) he could’ve come off as boring. I dig it.

10) As with many parts of the trilogy, the Dead Marshes scene has a wonderful sense of place to it. It’s viscerally creepy and eerie, making your skin crawl and your stomach turn. Peter Jackson’s roots as a horror director really come in handy in these scene as it’s a place you know the characters should leave ASAP.

Originally posted by pendragonness

11) Can I just so: Gandalf is really freaking dramatic.

Originally posted by aivim

When he’s revealing to Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas that he’s been RESURRECTED (dramatic enough on its own) he even disguises his voice to make it sounds like he’s Saruman just to screw with them. And then we have this wonderful moment after Aragorn calls him Gandalf:

Gandalf: “Gandalf? Yes, that is what they used to call me.”

Dude! You did NOT forget your name! You remember literally EVERYTHING ELSE! You remember Aragorn and Merry and Pippin and everything. Take a chill pill, Gandalf.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

12) I really like the whole Merry, Pippin and Treebeard subplot. It’s largely conversation but it brings up a lot of really interesting ideas about why the trees should participate in the war. Not only that, but it very organically develops Merry QUITE well. He and Pippin both started out as pretty immature in the first film, but by the end of this movie (through the subplot with Treebeard) he’s accepted his responsibility and is ready to fight for what’s right.

13) Miranda Otto as Éowyn.

Originally posted by makebeliever

Although Éowyn really gets her shining moment of glory in Return of the King (and the best damn moment in the entire trilogy), I love her from the first moment we meet her in this film. She’s my favorite character in the entire trilogy. I love that she can cry/grieve but still comes off as incredibly strong. She always has the best for her people and king in mind, always looking to fight against those who threaten those she loves and constantly frustrated when others try to get in her way. She is a great leader and a great fighter, as no moment fills me with such joy as seeing this badass royal practicing how to fight with a sword. I just…gah! I fucking love Éowyn.

14) This is one of those lines in a movie which has stuck with me my entire life.

Théoden: “No parent should have to bury their child.”

It really speaks to the grief Théoden is going through and an honest truth. Children are meant to outlive their parents, not the other way around. According to IMDb:

One time while Bernard Hill was in England, a woman came up to him and told him about how one of her children had died shortly before then, and that parents shouldn’t have to bury their child. His confrontation with this woman affected him so much, that he asked to have a line put in about it.

15) Cutting between the three groups in the film could have easily dogged down the pacing, but the film knows when to make their cuts. The tension continues to build organically and the structure is never disrupted.

16) The conversations between Gollum and Sméagol.

Mostly I talk about how scenes like this work from a storytelling aspect as opposed to a technical aspect. And while these moments clearly illustrate the conflict and layers within Gollum/Sméagol, I am actually more impressed with the technical aspect of it. The scene works very well with two basic rules of filmmaking: Eye line and the 180 degree rule.

You can probably gleam what eye line means just from the name of it, but it’s making sure that when you cut between two characters looking at each other between shots the eyes match. Not only is that done very well here, but so is the 180 degree rule. The 180 degree rule is very simple: it means that when two character are in the same scene they should always be on the same side of the frame. Whether the shot is a wide, over the shoulder, or whatever, unless there is movement going on in the scene they should be on the same side of the frame so the continuity matches. In this scene, Gollum is always on the left while Sméagol is always on the right. Even though they’re the same physical person sitting in the same spot, the way the scene is framed just drives home the idea that they’re talking to each other because it follows the 180 degree rule. I just really dig that.

17) One of the most tragic things about Sméagol/Gollum is that for like MOST of this film he’s actually trying to redeem himself. He’s trying to be the good buy, he’s trying to help Frodo and Sam, but it is the harm done to him by fearful men which results in his regression back to a greedy backstabber. The more you sympathize with a villain, the more powerful they are.

18) I like the little update we get on Arwen and Aragorn’s relationship via flashback, but the later extended sequence with her, Elrond, and Galadriel is always something I zone out during. I like that she’s not forgotten but also the 15 minute segment where her arc is developed can feel a little pointless TO ME at times.

19) The Wild Riders attack.

While a little long, the set piece is very well done. It has interesting, well choreographed action which takes advantage of the wide space its in and a wonderful sense of tension. And it has some very real consequences, with Aragorn not being the untouchable hero trope but instead taking a fall off a cliff and being presumed dead. Also, Legolas and Gimli have their first of many competitions of who can kill the most bad guys in it and I love that.

20) A film is a story told in cuts.

Wormtongue [after talking about how it’ll take tens of thousands to take Helm’s Deep]: “But my lord, there is no such force.”

[Saruman shows Wormtongue such a force.]

21) I get that Elrond is Arwen’s dad and he’s worried about her, but she’s an adult who is living her life. Can’t he just respect the choice she’s made to live for Aragorn instead of pressuring her out of it? Please?

22) David Wenham as Faramir.

Originally posted by elvenking

There’s a lot more patience with Faramir than his brother Boromir had. You can see a far amount of grief in Wenham’s performance. He’s wiser than his brother but not as favored (as we will get a better peek into in Return of the King), which causes a conflict in him. He wants to please his father and make him proud, but he also understands that his father is not always the best decision maker. This conflict shows greatly in Wenham and he’s able to make the character very interesting because of that.

Faramir: “A chance for Faramir, captain of Gondor, to show his quality.”

23) Get friends who react to you not being dead like Gimli and Legolas do with Aragorn.

Gimli: “I’m going to kill him! [Not 30 seconds later] Bless you!”

Legolas [after thinking Aragorn died]: “You look terrible.”

24) I know the source material dates back to 1954, but I HATE the, “get the women and children to safety,” trope. Like, Éowyn proves that women are capable of defending themselves just as well as men can. But they’re constantly infantilized, LITERALLY thought the equivalent of children, needing to be protected and hidden away from danger. If they trusted women to fight in the battle of Helm’s Deep there wouldn’t be all this talk about, “Oh, we don’t have enough men to fight for us.” THEN FIND SOME WOMEN WHO ARE GOOD WITH A SWORD! YOU’RE LITERALLY HAVING TEENAGERS FIGHT, YOU DON’T THINK YOU CAN FIND A WOMAN WHO IS AS SKILLED WITH A SWORD AS TEENAGERS!?

25) Aragorn really gets to go on a great journey throughout the three films. I mean in the first film he’s a loner, a ranger who doesn’t lead men. But in this film he begins to accept his responsibility as a king and lead the fight in the Battle of Helm’s Deep. It’ll only grow in the third film and I appreciate that.

26) One thing that these films do really well is they don’t let situations get too dire. This is a story largely about hope and fighting because of that hope, so to have a battle be too depressing goes against that idea. Legolas and Gimli are great of keeping the human heart of a scene.

Gimli: “What’s happening out there?”

Legolas: “Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?”

[Gimli laughs.]

27) Battle of Helm’s Deep

Originally posted by gotlembas

This is an absolutely incredible climax to the film in the truest sense of the word. While the battle is INCREDIBLY long the filmmakers do a great job of carrying the action and pacing so that it never loses your interest. Legolas and Gimil help with that, but so do the character choices. Théoden gives up, Aragorn is ready to fight. The battle has tides, it changes favor, and it really just does a great job of holding your interest the whole time.


Théoden: “Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?”

[Battle starts to get worse]

(GIF originally posted by @welcometoyouredoom)

29) I love this exchange.

Treebeard: “This is not our war.”

Merry: “But you’re part of this world!”

30) While this film does feature a tone of development for Merry, it is Pippin who knows what to do so Treebeard will get invested in the war. So he’ll fight. He’s a tricky one, that hobbit.


Théoden: “What can men doe against such reckless hate?”

Honestly (and Aragorn’s actions prove this): unite. Stand up against hatred and bigotry together and show the world that you will not stand for it.

32) One thing I haven’t talked much about for this film which also plays a much larger factor in Return of the King is Frodo’s continued corruption. The ring is getting to him, it’s darkening him, tempting him, causing him to doubt and fear. Wood plays this VERY well, this development. It feels organic, it makes sense even if it is brought upon by an outward force. It just really works.

33) According to IMDb:

When Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) are in Osgiliath, Sam says, “By rights, we shouldn’t even be here.” This was a nod to the deviation the screenplay had taken from the book’s storyline. In the book, Sam and Frodo never passed through Osgiliath.

34) I freaking love this. I forgot about this exchange and honestly it gives me hope.

35) Deciding to end the film on Gollum/Sméagol deciding to betray the hobbits in Return of the King I think works really well. It resolves his crisis of identity that has been featured in this film. He tried to be good and it didn’t work so now he’s going to be bad. I think even when a film ends on a cliffhanger there needs to be some form of resolution to it.

There’s really not a weak link in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. The Two Towers continues the excellence which began in Fellowship by giving each character more room to shine, continuing the battle of Middle Earth in an epic and investing way, while making sure these films still have a beating human heart to them. It’s just really great.

The Emoji Movie review


This is it. The Emoji Movie. A film I and the rest of the world have been dreading. Today I have finally seen this film, and… it has drained me of all will to live. This is it; I can’t live in this world any longer after having seen this movie. This has to be my last review, because I can no longer live in a world where this movie exists.

 Is it because it’s so abysmally bad as all the reviews said? Is it truly the worst animated film ever made, an utterly soulless cash grab of a movie? What could drive me to my death like this?

 The fact that… I just… even after seeing it, I just can’t muster up the absolutely vitriolic hatred everyone else seems to have for it. It’s not even bad. It’s not even good. It’s just… meh. This movie is meh. And after getting so hyped up to see the worst animated film ever, this is… disappointing. Heart-breakingly, soul-crushingly disappointing.

So, what is the story here? Well, Ralph is a villain who feels out of pl- uh, sorry, Emmet is a LEGO man who wants to conform but ju- oh, um, pardon. Joy is an emotion who… okay, you get the idea. This film is nothing but a bald-faced, shameless ripoff of the plots of a dozen better films. The “Be yourself” message, the hero who wants to conform but learns to love being expressive, the journey to find oneself… it has been done to death, and done a billion times better. This movie is just every animated cliché ever. Fuck, the whole trailer revealed the entire plot and story arc in two minutes.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can you share some favorite larry fics? sorry if youve answered this before xx

I have answered this before but I literally never ever get tired of talking about my favorite stories!!!! Here are some of them in no particular order. 

1. My all time favorite story ever is Wild and Unruly by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy, though literally every single thing they write, together or apart, is amazing and on my favorites list. I love Wild and Unruly most though probably because I’ve worked on dances before and am a massive horse person and Dolly Parton fan and can’t believe a story exists where Harry serenades his cow named Jolene with Beyonce because like…that’s what the inside of my heart looks like all the time??? Also it’s just so real and romantic and I fucking love every second of it. 

2. Hush. by @wankerville is one of my favorite works of all time and space, too. It was one of the first fics I read in the fandom, and it stuck with me so intensely and so powerfully, like…I really feel this story so close to my heart, on such a profound level. I remember the first time read it at work and I just wept and got choked up the whole time, eyes just burning for hours. Once I finished it I felt this insane comforting warmth wash over me, like all the trauma I experienced in high school being in love with a girl who suffered from debilitating internalized homophobia had somehow been soothed or dislodged. There’s something so intimate and tender and soft about her characters, but also about just the way she writes, and it really moves me in a way I can’t accurately describe? I don’t know I just love it. I love the way she choose not to write technically perfect, and instead invents words of breaks rules to convey a feeing or tone which exists  beyond the constraints of technicality. It’s so inspired. Like, I often talk about how fan fiction as a genre is inherently reparative and restorative for queer individuals, and when I talk about that, the careful love with which @wankerville writes is exactly what I mean. 

3. My heart is breathing for this moment in time  by usedtothebeach, otherwise known as the Time Travellers Wife AU is another favorite of mine…it’s so fucking gut-wrenching and painful and REAL, and it’s SUCH a clever play on canon that I legit almost forget Louis isn’t a time traveler sometimes?! As a canon writer I just really admire how she wove the real story into her universe, it’s absolutely masterful and aside from it being well-crafted, it’s just so emotional and evocative and makes me FEEL SO MUCH. Like wow Harry pines so hard for so long and it’s so aching and ugh. I just love it, even though I hardly ever reread it because it fucking devastates me. 

4. we can take the long way home by @eleadore is one of my all time favorite stories, which is crazy because it’s literally about fertility kink and I hate mpreg and ABO as a general rule? It is seriously one of the sexiest, most intimate, most intense reads off my fucking life though, and I don’t say that lightly. I reread it ALL the time. I actually had a really really hard time choosing one of @eleadore‘s fics because every single one of them is scorchingly hot and very high on my rereading list, but the fact that this is one of the hottest stories ever and it specifically deals with a kink I usually won’t touch with a ten foot pole is a huge testament to how amazing it is. so. Honestly though, read everything she’s ever written though…her TXF fic is fucking remarkable and so is her cabin in the woods fic and the one where they play truth or dare by the pool? Help. 

5. Fuck, so @mediaville is another author I love every single thing from, but again I’m gonna pick a favorite based on the fact it has things I usually don’t dig but I’m still obsessed with it and say One Day to Believe In You. As you all know I lOVE canon fic but I tend to have a pretty strict window in the timeline where I can believably imagine them getting together….like basically anything after week two of TXF I’m like “this is canon compliant but not CANON” and have so suspend disbelief lmao. This story features a SUPER late tension break, and it still manages to be so fucking amazingly hot and believable and the confession scene leading up to the sex? Holy shit it’s hot. Like too hot to think about in public. Anyway I know you asked for larry fic but @mediaville also cowrote an AMAZING bressie fic with balefully that’s FIRE if you’re into that sort of thing. 

6. I also absolutely love To the Ends of the Earth by  @alienproof, it was one of the first canon fics I read where everything seemed really real? I also love the remote cabin love confession trope and I think it cab be a hard one to pull off. I love the tension in this story and the masturbation scene and that Harry has a cat named Neon and spends time making food for his middle aged neighbors…it just seems like a very true and tender hiatus characterization of them. And the sex scenes? Damn. 

7. I sort of feel like @mizzwilde personally wrote Young and Beautiful for me, even though she has no idea who I am, lol. I am just such a sucker for bratty private school boys doing drugs until they fall apart, and Velvet Goldmine is my all time favorite movie…fuck. it’s just so tailored to my interests that I don’t even mind that it’s 100k build with no smut lmao. It’s just a beautifully written dramatic luxurious story and everything about it is absurd and wonderful in the best way. 

8. I adore everything @loadedgunn has written (her sex scenes changed my life?) but my favorite is May We Stay Lost on Our Way Home, otherwise known as the fairy fic. Again…as a general rule, I hATE fantasy fic or stuff with magic/supernatural elements in it, but this story is so unbelievably sweet and hot and funny and real that it transcends it’s genre. I love every second of it and Louis LITERALLY HAS WINGS? Like it’s just such a gloriously written fairytale, but still manages to be distinctly Harry and Louis, which is one of my favorite things about this author: her AUs manage to be SO true to their canon characterizations that it almost feels like reading canon fic. There are parts of this story it that really touch and move me, and then it also has one of my all time favorite sex scenes in it, and then this fucking scene where like…Louis uses root bondage to hold down Harry while he magically tattoos him and the sadist/tattoo artist in me LIVES FOR IT. Basically, this fic has everything and I fucking love it. 

God this was so hard, I keep thinking of more I love! I’m gonna leave it at this though, since most of my other favorite stories are by these authors, who are all phenomenal. 

My Thoughts on “The Jewel of Maru”

OMG guys! This episode! I loved everything about it! But you probably already know that since I haven’t shut up about it since about 2am on Saturday morning. You may be thinking “Oh, she’s only excited about the Eleteo moments.” NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! Well, ok, I’ll be honest— the Eleteo moments were beautiful and made my year and I’m definitely going to gush about Eleteo later in this review, but there is SO.MUCH.MORE. to this episode! The animation has improved big time— it was beautiful before but now…wow! I mean did you see how hair moved? And how fluid the dancing was? The dancing animation has made a huge improvement since Prince Too Charming and My Fair Naomi. The story is intriguing and we see some serious character development! I’m going to warn you now, this is going to be a long post (longer than usual, anyways) so please forgive me in advance–– there were just so many things I wanted to talk about about and I couldn’t narrow it down! So grab some snacks and a tasty beverage and settle in for my crazy ramblings, yeah?


Ok, so we’re starting season 2 now (yay!) and with that the series is becoming much more serialized. Craig Gerber confirmed on twitter that the better part of the next 15 episodes are part of the story arc we saw the beginning of in ROTJ (10 episodes, I believe). “The Jewel of Maru” is the direct continuation of the story thread started in ROTJ and is only a small piece of the bigger picture. So, if it felt a little odd compared to previous episodes as far as the structure of the story, well, that’s because it is! It’s not supposed to feel episodic because it’s part of the serialized story arc. The bits of information we received will most likely be important to the story at a later time— i.e. what’s up with Shuriki and the Delgados, how is Elena handling the pressures of the crown with the looming threat, the bond between Elena and Mateo, the scepter of light, her magic, etc… so when you watch this episode, keep in mind that it’s just a small part of bigger things to come.


How is it Affecting Elena

So we can see early in the episode, that the pressures of ruling are really starting to weigh on Elena’s shoulders. She’s worried about the prophecy and stressed out about the Delgados being loose in Avalor in addition to the daily duties and problems that come along with the title of “Crown Princess” (like her grandfather’s inability to control his sweet tooth, LOL!). I wouldn’t say she’s about to crack, but it’s absolutely taking a toll on her mentally.

I am glad to see that Elena has confided in Mateo and Zuzo about the prophecy and is allowing them to shoulder at least a little of the burden. I also love seeing Elena as a real person with real worries and fears. Early in the series she was so happy and brave all the time that I always wondered if I was writing her out of character whenever I tried to give her some of that human response to big problems in my fanfics. I find her to be a much more relatable character this way. She demonstrated some serious trust when she allowed herself what I like to call a “freak out moment” where she just vented about everything that had been bothering her to Mateo and Zuzo, and that she gave them the opportunity to come alongside her and help however they could.

I’m not going to lie, I totally squealed when Mateo put his hand on her shoulder and told her there was nothing she couldn’t handle. And I squealed again at the smile she gave him in reply. It was so sweet to have that little echo of Mateo’s promise from ROTJ, “I’ll always be there for you, Elena. No matter what.”

Preparing for the Unknown

We see from the very beginning of this episode that Elena is taking the prophecy seriously and is doing the best she can to prepare for whatever is to come. She seems to be throwing herself into mastering her powers and trains regularly with Mateo and Zuzo. From the opening scene it really looks like they are truly a “magical dream team”. I was interested to see that Mateo had created a magical obstacle course much like the one he’d conjured up for the jacquin’s guardian test.

I was impressed that when Elena was knocked down, Mateo didn’t lose his head. You could see his initial reaction was to try and take care of her–– he reaches for her and cries out her name–– but he seems to realize that the best thing he can do to care for her in the moment is neutralize the threat, and that’s what he does.

Also, did anyone else notice that it seems that Mateo has taught our princess a few of his signature moves? Yes! I don’t think we’ve ever seen her do a roll even once in the whole series. She’ll leap over a yawning crevice, swing on a vine and dive from a fifty foot cliff but we’ve never seen her do a dive roll. That’s always kind of been Mateo’s thing. Anyways, just sort of a fun observation that I’ve turned into a whole headcanon, haha!

Shuriki–– Is she really the impending darkness?

We see that Shuriki is trying to create a new wand and she’s sending Victor and Carla to do the legwork for her. That made me wonder if the pieces of her wand hidden within the royal treasury were going to come into play later this season. I also can’t help but wonder if she isn’t stringing Victor and Carla along. We know that wizards have to LEARN magic so the fact that she is insisting that she needs a wand before she can “turn them into malvagos” makes me wonder if she’s going to betray them at the last second like she did to Victor so many years before. I’m also getting the feeling that Carla may be thinking the same thing and she might surprise us by betraying Shuriki first before Shuriki can make her move. Just a theory.

Speaking of Carla, was anyone else surprised at how ruthless she was in this episode? After Realm of the Jacquins and her barrage of questions the first half of the movie, I thought she followed her dad because she had nothing better to do, but wasn’t necessarily evil. I’m starting to rethink that conclusion now. Like did you hear her when she was fighting against the tempest around the jewel, “Nothing– Is– Going– To– Stop– Me–”  Yeah, I’m starting to get the feeling that there’s more to her than initially meets the eyes and my gut feeling is that Carla Delgado won’t be content to serve under Shuriki.

I also have another theory after watching this episode. I’m wondering if Shuriki is really the darkness spoken of in the prophecy. I’m wondering if she’s a.) a red herring— a distraction preparing us for a huge plot twist; b.) in her quest for dark powers, she accidentally triggers a greater darkness; or c.) there’s something worse than her on its way and we’re all in for one wild ride. Honestly, I’m wondering if the shadows of the night responsible for the fall of Maru are going to make an appearance— you know, the whole history repeating itself thing.


The Last Royal Wizard of Maru

I loved Amalay’s character. She was the ghost of the last royal wizard of Maru who built the “Scepter of Light” and had the task of guarding the Jewel of Maru. That demonstrates a lot about the character of the Maruvian people. Their civilization had been wiped out, so why should they care if the same thing happens to future civilizations? But they do! They’ve done their best to protect their homeland even if it’s not really theirs any longer.

This is a bit of a random bunny trail, but I was a little disappointed that Mateo couldn’t have met Amalay. If he has a spell that lets him see chanuls then I’m sure he has a spell that would let him see ghosts. I think he would have been excited to meet the last royal wizard of Maru, the last Maruvian most likely to use or write in his codex, and the person who built the scepter. But there’s only so much you can squeeze into 22 minutes and it’s not important to the story…I just think it would have been fun to watch my wizard son geek out over meeting a Maruvian wizard. :-p

The Jewel of Maru

So we finally learned that the jewel is the cause of the fall of Maru.  This is really cool that Elena stumbled across the discovery of the answer to a millennia old mystery. I’m also very interested in these shadows of the night, which BTW it has been confirmed by Craig Gerber that they are not the same as the shadow spirits mentioned in Spirit Monkey Business. Since Avalor and Maru are so closely related, I wonder if the shadows of the night are going to make a comeback? It would make sense for the darkness coming for Elena to be a literal darkness. But as of now I have no evidence to support the theory aside from a gut feeling, so we’ll just have to keep watching to find out!



We learned so much about Elena this episode! We saw how the pressures of ruling are affecting her mentally. I also think she really learned her lesson about overconfidence from ROTJ. Remember how she thought that she had this ruling thing down after a “whole year of ruling”? Now she’s concerned about knowing when to move forward and when to stop and wait. She’s desperate for advice from her parents. It was so appropriate that this all went down on Dia de los Muertos, the day when she’d actually have a chance to speak to them.

I absolutely adored the flashbacks to Elena’s childhood. They were so beautiful and I’m not gonna lie, I cry everytime I see that sequence! You can see the deep connection she shared with both of her parents and that they had a very happy home life. The thought of losing parents is sad, but seeing this beautiful life with them that Elena lost just rips my heart to shreds! Also a quick note about Isabel, because some may wonder why she wasn’t featured in the flashbacks, but I expect that she wasn’t even born in the first two. And the last one? Well, I think it makes sense that as Elena’s biggest concerns in the moment are needing her parents help with ruling, she would be focused on memories of the three of them together.

King Raul and Queen Lucia

It’s pretty impressive when a show takes the time to develop characters that have been deceased for over forty years in the show. It was amazing to meet Elena’s parents, and totally worth the wait from last year! I loved both of their personalities. Lucia’s care for her daughter and her way of seeing straight to the heart of a matter was beautiful–– I bet she and Elena talked a lot. While it’s clear that Elena was close to her mother, I could see the special father/daughter daughter bond between Elena and Raul. It seriously reminded me of the song “Cinderella” by Stephen Curtis Chapman or “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle. Except Raul is missing out on the third verse of Elena’s life. You know, the part where the daddy sees his little girl grow up and spreads her wings to fly on her own … excuse me a moment while I go cry some more.

Their advice to Elena was so simple, yet profound. “I just did what I thought was best for the kingdom.” “And so should you.” And it seemed to really click in her. Early in the episode she was almost obsessed with catching the Delgados. So much so that she rushed after them when she would have probably been better served to send the royal guard. And then, in the temple, she was so worried about catching them that she insisted on splitting up, even though all of hers and Mateo’s training had been together— as a team. That impulsive decision resulted in Mateo having to face the criminals alone and getting hurt.

But in the end, she had the Delgados within her grasp— they were right there and it would have been four on two and an easy win. But, she decided to take care of the jewel because protecting the kingdom from its power was more important than catching two thieves. It was such a wise move! I was so proud of her :)

Before I move on, I also wanted to mention that the action sequence where Elena went after the jewel while Mateo went after his tamborita was spectacular! It reminded me a little of Spellbound when Mateo sends Elena to go unfreeze their friends while he takes on Fiero, only the opposite! Elena takes on the bad guys this time! And she was so badass, blasting that pillar from Skylar’s back! And the way she leapt into that huge, gaping chasm to catch the jewel with nothing but a prayer that Skylar would catch her? Just wow!

A Quick Side Note…

I would put forward that it would have been possible for her to do both–– catch the Delgados and then return the jewel to the temple. First, the reason Elena can only see ghosts in Dia de los Muertos because that’s the only day the spirits of the dead are closest to the earth, right? Amalay is always guarding that jewel, she doesn’t return to the spirit world when the holiday has ended. So if Elena can see spirit animals anytime, why shouldn’t she be able to see any other spirits lingering in the human realm? Plus, even if she wouldn’t have been able to see Amalay once Dia de los Muertos was over, she forgot that while she can’t read Maruvian, Mateo can. What language do you think his ancient Maruvian spell book was written in? He could have taught the incantation to her or even spoke it himself.

Regardless, I am happy to see our princess slowing down a bit and thinking through her decisions a bit more— and not just because everything had already blow up in her face this time.

Skylar and Luna

It was nice to see a bit of Skylar and Luna in this episode. I really think that Skylar is maturing in each episode that we see him in. I have to say though, I really enjoyed seeing more of Luna’s personality. She was hilarious! Plus, I loved that she was willing to overcome her fear of ghosts to at least try and run to Elena and Mateo’s rescue.

Sorry guys, but I can’t help it! Prepare yourselves!!!


This episode highlighted a lot of great story elements and really shed a lot of light on what’s going on in Elena’s head–– which is what I live for when I’m emotionally involved in a story! I especially love learning about growing bonds between people–– familial, friendly, or romantic. I should clarify that when I say “romantic” I DO NOT mean sexual, but that emotional connection that has the potential to become so much more. Just in case you didn’t already know this about me, I live for the friends to lovers trope. So just watching them develop this deep, meaningful friendship in the show seriously brings joy to my heart because in my mind, that is the best foundation for a lasting marriage. Among all of the strong emotional bonds in this series, I personally see none deeper and more meaningful than the growing bond between Elena and Mateo.

The thing that I’ve always loved about Elena and Mateo’s bond is that they are equals in the way they care for each other. There is nothing lopsided about their friendship. Elena has come to Mateo’s rescue just as many times as Mateo has come to hers. Plus, they’ve both encouraged each other on a rather deep level.

For example, in Spellbound, we see Elena encouraging Mateo when he’s doubting his abilities or his worthiness to be the royal wizard–– she believes that he has the talent and inner strength to be a great royal wizard, that he has what it takes to be a hero to them all and insists that she needs him by her side. In Realm of the Jacquins we see Mateo promise to be there for her, no matter what and in Jewel of Maru, when Elena is worrying about the test and doubting if she’ll be ready for it, Mateo tells her that there is nothing that she can’t handle. It’s like they’ve come full circle in their support for one another.

One thing I absolutely loved seeing in this episode was how Elena and Mateo are training as a team–– once again as equals–– to defeat whatever comes their way. Mateo isn’t just standing there, telling her what to do as an advisor or a mentor would. No, he’s right there in the thick of things, training by her side. And the best part is that they are a good team. Neither one of them tries to compete with the other and they complement each other perfectly. For example, when they faced the duendes, Mateo knew to duck as Elena took her shot and she immediately ducked to allow Mateo to take his shot. It was a lot like how they played olaball in Blockheads, they just sort of naturally fell into sync to make those combo shots and they did it well!

The fact that Elena invited Mateo to meet her at her parent’s altar early the next morning just about sent me into fangirl squeal mode. At first I thought she was offering to speak to his grandfather on his behalf, but then she never mentioned talking to Alakazar, instead she confided in him about her worries and how she wished she could get her parent’s advice. She was so sweet and nervously playing with her hair while she did it. Now I’ve never celebrated Dia de los Muertos myself, so I can’t be sure exactly, but it seems to me that inviting someone outside your family to visit your parent’s altar with you is kind of a serious/intimate thing–– especially if you are hoping to have your first conversation with them in over forty years.

It was so adorable when Mateo got all excited about Elena having the power to see ghosts. Most people would probably be freaked out by the knowledge that she can see ghosts, but he was amazed by the fact. And I can’t help but think that Zuzo mentioned it on purpose, not to help Mateo figure out which tamborita was his grandfather’s favorite, but I totally headcanon that Zuzo was playing the matchmaker here and I seriously think he’s looking a little smug when Elena’s acting all modest and Mateo says “Still that’s pretty amazing!”

Can we talk about Mateo’s Dia de los Muertos costume for a minute? It was so adorable! I just love it! It actually looks like they took his adventure outfit that we love so much and re-colored it for the occasion, which I don’t mind one bit! And the hat! I love the sombrero! He’s so cute in all these funny hats! And, just for fun, something kind of random but adorable that I noticed–– Elena and Mateo’s costumes complete each other!!! Elena’s has the rib cage and spine and Mateo’s has the arms and legs!!! Coincidence? Perhaps, but it’s still so freaking cute!!!  Also, did y’all see how Mateo conquered his fear of horses since “Scepter of Light”? He rode up on his steed in the sunrise, just at the end of Elena’s song— it was so sweet! @lovelyrugbee said it reminder her of a scene from a telenovela, hahaha!

If you’ve read this far, WOW! Thank you! Because I know this is ridiculously long, haha! What’s even worse is that I could go on! But I’ll spare you the rambling. If you have anything you’d like me to expand on, please feel free to drop me an ask! Overall, I think this was a very strong start to season 2! I am excited to see what comes next!

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #205 - Hocus Pocus

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: More or less.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

1) Let’s start off this post with a little blasphemy: I actually don’t have a ton of nostalgia for this movie. I watched it like maybe three times growing up. I’d always catch bits and pieces on Disney Channel or ABC Family Freeform, but I just never got into it like so many other people did. And (prepare to be outright offended now) the last time I watched it all the way through (I couldn’t have been older than 13) I thought it was kinda boring. BUT I was going through a bit of a “too cool for this shit” phase then. Spoiler alert: I enjoyed it A LOT more this time around and do understand the hype now.

2) Fun fact: Human Thackery Binx is played by Sean Murray but is dubbed over by the actor who performs him (Jason Marsden) for consistency.

Originally posted by everythingstarstuff

3) Despite being largely a comedy, there is a wonderful sense of creepiness to this film which I think helps to give it its unique flavor. I mean, this is a Disney movie which starts with a child being killed so witches can drain off its life force. Then these same witches - who explicitly say they’re loyal to satan and have been to hell - get hanged. There’s this sense of edge (or the Disney version of edge) which helps elevate it above a lot of Halloween family fare. I think it’s what makes the film so endearing.

Originally posted by thespookshaveamidnightjamboree

4) Ah, our first encounter with Winifred Sanderson.

Originally posted by i-alwayslikedstrangecharacters

5) The Sanderson Sisters

Originally posted by tatianagmaslany

So the way I’m going to structure this note is each sister will be like 5.1, 5.2, and 5.3. That’s how long the note is. The Sanderson Sisters ARE the movie. They’re the reason it holds up so well, they’re the reason people keep coming back to it, is because this trio is so absolutely wonderful. Each sister is written and performed in a way where you get a clear sense of who they are as individuals (instead of just being clones of each other), yet they chemistry between the actresses works so wonderfully that the trio is strong as well. They are the heart and fun of the film, with each actress being brilliantly comedic but also able to turn on a villainous dime when necessary. They’re just incredible.

5.1) Bette Midler as Winifred Sanderson.

Originally posted by animations-daily

The leader of the group in both writing and performance, Midler commands the sisters in a natural way. The actress is the most unrecognizable in the part, so much so it took me YEARS to even realize this was Bette Midler. By putting aside any and all ego, Midler gives a performance which embraces its cartoonish fun to totally wrap you in. She pulls focus, commanding every scene she’s in to the point where you can’t/don’t want to take her eyes off of her. She’s just incredible. According to IMDb, this is Midler’s favorite performance of her own. That fun just shows through.

5.2) Kathy Najimy as Mary Sanderson.

Originally posted by halloweenmagick

Najimy is an absolutely amazing character actress who totally blends into every role she’s given. Mary is no different. Much like Midler, she is able to work with the cartoonish silliness of the part (with a character who is maybe more so that than her sisters) to just make you laugh. There are so many great moments Najimy has, often times while other things are going on, that you have to watch multiple times if you even hope to catch them all. She’s just really great.

5.3) Sarah Jessica Parker as Sarah Sanderson.

Originally posted by haidaspicciare

The youngest (I believe youngest) Sanderson sister proves that there is no weak link in this chain. Much like Middler, this role is so different from anything else Parker is known for doing (“Sexy in the City”) that I have to remind myself it’s here. She is able to be charmingly dimwitted and absent minded in a way which is absolutely gut busting. There is this wonderful physical and almost airy quality she brings to the part which pulls you in, the way she moves and plays with her beloved boys. But Parker - like the other Sandersons - can turn on a dime to an intimidating baddie. She’s - like the others - is incredible.

6) Max Dennison.

Originally posted by spidey-man

This may be blasphemous (I don’t know all the things people love about Hocus Pocus), but does anyone REALLY watch this movie for Max Dennison as a protagonist? I will admit the place where the character ends is something I appreciate a lot (more on that later), but for most of the film? He starts off as kind of a douche bag who acts all macho, thinks he’s too cool for his new town, and is mean to his sister. Almost every other character in the movie is a more interesting potential protagonist than Max to me, which I will say is not the fault of Omri Katz. He actually does the best he can to make Max seem interesting, because I’m aware that he could’ve been a much bigger pain the butt during the movie. But the writing is just not there as we get to know him, even if he does develop nicely by the film’s end.

7) It was at this moment I realized Alison was a much more interesting protagonist than Max.

Max: “But everyone here knows that Halloween was invented by the candy companies it’s a conspiracy!”

Allison: It just so happens that Halloween is based on the ancient feast called All Hallows Eve.”

Originally posted by thepumpkinqueenn

Allison is actually a bit of a missed opportunity, development wise. She has a good understanding of not only the tradition of Halloween but also the Sanderson Sisters, showing a creepy side to a character who does not appear as a stereotypical goth. She’s rich, doesn’t seem to really care for her parent’s fancy Halloween ball, is kind, brave, but we never really explore her that much. I’d love to get to know a bit more about Allison.

8) The inclusion of buttheads Jay and Ice add a nice bit of humor to the film. Yeah they’re jerks, but their idiocy is definitely funny to watch. Don’t take them seriously as bullies or threats and you’ll enjoy their presence.

Originally posted by lndeterminate

8.1) So I was looking up the actors who played Jay and Ice and…AH! ICE IS THE SAME ACTOR AS LARRY FROM “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”!

Originally posted by marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer

9) According to IMDb:

Charles Rocket [Max and Dani’s dad] acquired a certain notoriety for swearing on live television during the final moments of the 21 February 1981 episode of Saturday Night Live (1975). There’s an in-joke in connection to this, where he says to Max, “Watch your language!”.

10) Thora Birch as Dani.

Originally posted by homolagniappe

Can I just say, Dani is so much more interesting to me than Max. I kinda wish we saw this movie through her eyes. She just brings a smile to my face whenever she’s on screen. Birch plays Dani with such honest enthusiasm and intelligence (not every kid in movies is played as smart, sadly) that it’s intoxicating. She stands up to the bullies and later her first instinct upon the Sanderson Sister’s resurrection is to LIE HER BUTT OFF in an attempt to make them think she’s a witch! HER FIRST INSTINCT! And then later when she finds out this freaky zombie is nice she’s immediately like, “Hi Billy!” so sweetly. I dig that.

11) Ah great, toxic masculinity infecting an eight year old girl.

Dani [after Max says fighting the bullies would’ve gotten him killed]: “At least you would’ve died like a man.”

Originally posted by arieloverfansite

Sorry, that’s just a personal thing.

12) Um, maybe some fans of the movie know this, but why exactly the Dennison family move to Salem? I don’t remember it ever being mentioned. I’m assuming job opportunity but what job takes you from LA to Salem?

13) Um Max, you’ve know Allison for like a week (maybe a week and a half). Isn’t this a little much?

Max [about Allison]: “Dani, this is the girl of my dreams.”

Originally posted by thegifsshop

14) The Sanderson house has this wickedly creepy sense of place to it. You know these guys aren’t supposed to be there, you know that this is a place of evil, so when things start getting weird it’s not much of a stretch to see it happening.

Originally posted by diablito666


Originally posted by therepublicofstephanie

16) So at one point in the movie Allison hits Mary with a frying pan and all I can think of is this:

Originally posted by totallytangled

17) The most fun this movie has is watching the Sanderson Sisters adapt to 1993. Reacting to things like the, “burning rain of death,” (sprinkler system) the, “black river,” (a pavement road) and even the way they run from approaching firetrucks because of the sirens is all a hoot. Like I said, each actress is amazing and they play it so well. It’s a wonderful source of comedy.

18) Thackery Binx.

Originally posted by gif-weenus

Jason Marsden is an excellent voice over actor (perhaps best known as Max in A Goofy Movie and Impulse in “Young Justice”) who helps give Thackery a lot of life. This immortal black cat is wonderfully charming, with a compelling wit and sarcastic sense of humor which helps flesh him out as a character. But he also has a lot of tragedy in his life, a real loneliness. Thackery is a unique and fun addition to the film which just works really well.

19) That’s Doug Jones as Billy Butcherson.

Originally posted by thisisaterriblewaytostartastory

Jones is currently one of the most well regarded character/makeup actors in showbiz, with such famous roles under his belt as both Fauno and The Pale Man in Pan’s Labyrinth, Abe Sapein in the Hellboy films, and the creature in the upcoming The Shape of Water. Just thought I’d share.

20) I gotta say, the Sanderson Sisters are a lot more funny to me in my 20s than my teens. The whole bit with the calming circle specifically had me in stitches.

Originally posted by thepumpkinqueenn

Also this is great.

Girl Dressed as Angel: “Bless you.”

Sanderson Sisters: [Freak out.]

21) This whole bit with the fake cop is kinda clever, but this bugs me.

Cop [after Dani tells him Max is a virgin] Are you a virgin?

Max: Yeah.

Cop: Really?

Originally posted by mulder-scully-gifs

22) Garry Marshall’s devilish cameo.

Originally posted by thepumpkinqueenn

While largely (if not exclusively) serving as a distraction from the plot, it just continues the fun of the Sanderson Sisters adjusting to the new world. Garry Marshall’s presence in any film is a welcome treat, especially when he brings along sister Penny. There’s just a great sense of fun here born from the audience being in on a joke the witches are clearly unaware of.

23) Okay, this always bugged me: couldn’t the kids get A LOT of people to believe them if the talking cat explained what was going on?

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

24) “I Put A Spell On You”

This may be the most iconic moment from the film, working primarily because it’s just so freaking fun! The tune is infectious, it carries a delightful Halloween sense to it, and Midler’s vocals are top notch. It’s just FUN and that’s what works.


Winnie [upon seeing a high school]: “It is a prison for children.”

Well she’s not wrong.

26) As a fan of old school Universal Monster movies, I dig this line.

Max [over the high school PA]: “I’m your host, Boris Karloff Jr.”

27) Honestly I think this film’s biggest issue is a structural one. Some gags, while fun, don’t add much to the overall plot. Also the moment of quiet/peace after the heroes think the Sanderson Sisters are dead just messes with the overall flow. The tension never got high enough for it to be effective or earned. It just throws off the momentum I think.

28) Winifred’s Book.

Originally posted by diablito666

It’s not often that I discuss prop pieces in these posts but Winnie’s book is in a lot of ways a character unto itself. The art design on the piece is absolutely wonderful and just really interesting. You understand it’s not a possession but (largely because of that eye) something a little more intelligent than that. A little more alive than that.

29) As soon as Allison opens the book this is all I can think of.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know]

30) Sarah’s song to lure the children (written by James Horner, not composer John Debny) is wonderfully creepy while also being sweet. It makes sense that it would draw in a bunch of kids but as the audience we can hear the sense of doom it has.

31) So this is a classic case of Villain Stupidity™. Winnie HAS her victory! All she needs to do is give her death potion to one of the countless kids which just appeared on her front lawn but she needs to have her revenge so risks it all (needlessly) to go after Dani.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

32) Okay, how does Winnie know enough about modern life to make this joke?

Winnie [pulling up next to Max’s car on her broom]: “Pull over! Let me see your driver’s permit!”

33) The film’s climax actually is pretty well done. There is a nice sense of stakes and tension to it. THIS is earned, unlike the school scene. And Max’s decision to drink the potion so he can save Dani is a great character choice, showing how strong his relationship with his sister is and what he’ll do to ensure her safety.

34) Okay, when the sun rises at the end all I can think of is…

Originally posted by seokx2

35) It may be a little cheesy, but I do really like that this film ends with Thackery being reunited with his lost sister Emily after 300 years. Also his goodbye to Dani is really nice.

Originally posted by lorahohday

Hocus Pocus has become a cult classic for a reason. With three absolutely phenomenal actresses acting as the heart of the film, it has a wonderfully wicked sense of fun to it that works at Halloween. But either you’ll like it or you won’t. There are some problems with structure, focus, and some character development. But honestly I don’t care about those so much because it’s just so freaking fun. It more than makes up for its flaws with a sense of humor and cartoonish mayhem which carries the 90 minute run time well. It’s just a fun Halloween movie which everyone should watch once just to see if they like.

A Review of Netflix’s Death Note

Netflix’s Death Note adaptation is bad. The film has been panned by critics, diehard fans of the show, and even casual Netflix browsers. Death Note (2017), to be blunt, has absolutely nothing to offer that is new or interesting. It is a film embarrassed of its source material, while simultaneously relying on it as a crutch for when it fails to create anything original. It’s worst crime isn’t that it just fails to be a Death Note adaptation, but that it fails to stand on its own.

Keep reading

backtothestart02  asked:

Tell us your thoughts on the sizzle reel!!! I must know. ESP of Iris stroking Savitar's face & him BEING AFFECTED BY IT. Omg. He's so far gone, but Iris is still his weakness in some capacity. I cannot.

My thoughts!  I brought the clip because I want you to be able to see what I mean for yourself, if you’d like, and just because I love this promo so much.  Without further adieu:

“Now finally I am free of you.” – Savitar.  A motive!  Savitar wants to kill Iris because he wants to be free of his identity as Barry and Iris is the very last straw he has.

Keep reading

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #152 - The Mask of Zorro

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) The prologue for the film establishes a lot of things well right off the bat.

  • The two brothers of Alejandro and Joaquin/their admiration of Zorro.
  • The conflict of the community.
  • Diego’s conflict with Don Rafael
  • Pacing, fun, and swashbuckling adventure.

It’s always good to have a solid start to your film under your belt and The Mask of Zorro does just that.

2) Governor Rafael Montero - as portrayed by Stuart Wilson - is a surprisingly compelling villain.

He is definitely a man who sees himself as the hero of his own story, which (unless you’re The Joker) always makes for the most interesting types of villains. He has a sense of honor and etiquette to him, but more than that pride and desire for stature. These two contrasting lines explain who he is perfectly:

Rafael [before he is about to hang three men and has the children escorted away]: “Children should never have to see the things we do.”

Rafael [after being asked who the men being hanged are]: “No idea. Three peasants pulled at random from a crowd.”

He sees himself as moral but is willing to murder three innocent men just to get at Zorro. It is a clear and early way of establishing just how villainous Rafael is.

3) Anthony Hopkins as Diego de la Vega, the first Zorro.

Originally posted by iseetheworldinframes

My biggest problem with this film is how it white washes certain characters. I’m grateful that Antonio Banderas is the main Zorro, but Hopkins Welsh heritage always distracted me a little from his portrayal of Zorro.

That’s not to say he’s not good in the role, because he’s damn good. The sense of adventure and fun Hopkins is able to establish at the start of the film, the willingness to do what’s right for the people of California, just creates a sadder juxtaposition later in the film when Diego has lost that. Hopkins is able to play all theses facets of de la Vega well. Nothing ever seems one hundred percent separated from the rest; he’s able to show off the former Zorro’s development masterfully. Later he’ll show off a different kind of emotion, but more on that once we meet Catherine Zeta Jones.

4) Diego and his wife Esperanza are given a strong relationship that the audience is invested in within a minute of meeting them.

Too bad they almost immediately fridged her.

5) Antonio Banderas as Alejandro Murrieta.

Originally posted by manueluv

In most Zorro stories, it is Diego de la Vega who is the main Zorro. This film went against tradition, having an aged de la Vega train newbie Alejandro Murrieta. And I have to say I think that is a decision which works amazingly. Almost as a precursor to Batman Begins (I’m going to be making a fair amount of Batman comparisons, and I’ll say why later), we get to see this rugged and defeated man become the icon the world knows and loves. Banderas brings a roguish/devilish charm to the part which is there from beginning to end. He’s a scoundrel! We get to see him go from someone who is proud and arrogant (and fucking fun to watch) to a more humble servant of the people. He starts his mission in a desire to avenge his murdered brother (who we met in the beginning of the film), and he wasn’t even the favored of the two when Zorro met them as children (Diego having given a token to Joaquin Murrieta) but it is the transformation PAST vengeance which makes him so interesting. And I just LOVE Banderas in the part. He is just perfectly cast as the title character and services the film as well as the film services him.

6) I love this.

Cpt. Love [before killing Joaquin]: “I want you to know I consider this an honor.”

[Joaquin spits at Cpt. Love and shoots himself, depriving him of that “honor”.]

That is like the biggest, “fuck you,” Joaquin can give the guy and I think it’s great.

7) So after one of Rafael’s guards accidentally shoots de la Vega’s wife (and after Rafael kills the guard because he “loved” Esperanza), Rafael kidnaps Zorro’s baby girl Elena and raises her as his own. When we first see Elena with Rafael as an adult, treating him like her real dad only with Diego looking on in secret… 

Originally posted by dailyczj

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

8) The relationship with Alejandro and Diego is established almost immediately upon their encounter in the present day, serving as one of the best parts of the film.

Originally posted by tedywestside

(GIFs originally posted by @tedywestside)

I think - asides from Diego’s devotion for his daughter Elena - it is the strongest relationship in the film. There is a fun banter between the two, and while it’s obvious Alejandro learns from Diego it is Diego who finds some of his humanity/old ways because of Alejandro. I love of a good bromance and I’ll be damned if this ain’t one.

9) The chemistry between Elena and Alejandro (and by extension, Zeta Jones and Banderas) is apparent from the moment they meet and absolutely oozing! There is a very specific scene later on which I’ll analyze which shows this better than any other.

10) Alejandro’s whole first outing as Zorro - where he gets his own horse and has to fight off the guards, letting the world know Zorro is back - is absolutely amazing. It’s well choreographed, features enticing action, and is just plain out fun!

11) So it is right after this scene that I realized this film and Ant-Man have the same plot: A former masked hero trains a thief to take on his mantle for the greater good. The thief falls in love with the man’s daughter, who the man has grown apart from after his wife’s death and wishes to grow closer to.

Originally posted by comicbookfilms

12) Catherine Zeta Jones as Elena.

Originally posted by laurensbacall

If you want to figure out Elena’s character and journey throughout this film, look no further than this line:

Elena: “I try to behave properly, the way my father would like me to, but I’m afraid my heart is wild.”

There is this incredible disassociation of identity between who Elena is and who she has been told she is: she is not the daughter of some proper governor and his equally proper wife, she’s the daughter of Zorro and the woman who loved him greatly and was as wild as her. As the film goes on, she learns that she can be fiercer. That she can give into her wildness and have it be okay. The more she does that, the more interesting she becomes. So throughout the film you start with a proper governor’s daughter and by the end you have a swashbuckling heroine who helps saves dozens of people. And Zeta Jones portrays this development and all facets of Elena’s character marvelously.

13) It is amazing seeing Alejandro as a gentlemen. Banderas is able to portray this new false-side of Alejandro while still keeping it the roguish devil we’ve come to love in the first half of the film. There’s no divide here, Banderas marries the two well.

Originally posted by antonio-banderas

14) Bernardo - the alias Diego takes while pretending to be Alejandro’s servant - is the traditional name of Zorro’s servant in most of the stories he’s featured in and (in a lot of ways) the inspiration to Batman’s Alfred. In fact, Batman was pretty much totally inspired by Zorro. Without Zorro there would be no Batman. Batman - you might say - started out as Zorro fan fiction. A rich man who is sick of injustice and so disguises himself in black with the aid of his servant to fight for the people of his city. That’s both Batman and Zorro.

Originally posted by kane52630

15) Elena’s fierceness is already starting to shine through when she argues how Zorro is a hero for the people. Of course her father has to ruin it with a sexist shit of a remark.

Rafael: “A woman’s grasp of politics, what can I say?”

(GIF originally posted by @fitzsimmonsies)


Originally posted by dailyczj

There is such INTENSE chemistry between Alejandro and Elena in this scene. The passion, the choreography, the energy, it even gets me hot and bothered. They’re both letting out their wild side and showing off just how attracted they are too each other. I fucking love it.

17) The scene at the gold mine…

This is such a heartbreaking and sad scene of abuse and heartache, and the Dons just laugh it off as nothing. Just like buying a crane or something. Their things, not people to them. Alejandro’s former gang member - Jack - sums it up perfectly.

Jack: “I steal gold, I steal money, but you! You steal people’s lives!”

And then after they kill him for this all the Dons laugh as if it’s nothing. It just turns my stomach and makes my skin crawl, which is exactly what it’s supposed to do.

18) The scene where Diego and Elena meet and talk is so sad and so telling. Diego gets to be a father to Elena for a moment, to help her in her moments of doubt and insecurity, even if she doesn’t know it. And it’s the fact she doesn’t know it which makes it so sad but also - by the end of the film - you’re glad that they had this moment together.

19) This makes me want to vomit.

Elena [about her mother, according to her father]: “She was very proper, my mother. Always appropriate.”

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

And it’s not Elena that disgusts me, it’s Rafael. Rafael, the man who claimed to love Esperanza so much he did not really accept her as who she was and insults her memory by lying about who she is to her own daughter. Just so she can fit some macho bullshit sexist image of her he has in his mind. Just so she can be a “proper woman” after death when she wasn’t in live. I’m getting sick just thinking about it.

20) Were you wondering what Cpt. Love did with Joaquin’s dead body? No? Too bad!

(GIF originally posted by @petitetiaras)

He drinks water held in the same jar as Joaquin’s head and hand because he thinks it gives him the strength of his enemy.

Originally posted by sirhumphreyappleby

21) It is after these pair of scenes - the gold mine and the meeting with Cpt. Love - that Alejandro expresses deep feelings of guilt to Diego. He saw unimaginable sorrow and all he can think of is getting revenge for his brother. But it is this guilt, this pain which will propel him to be the true Zorro.

22) Once Banderas get to be the “real” Zorro so to speak, once he gets to put on the mask and after having had the proper training, he has a lot of fun with it. This is one of the greatest swashbuckling heroes of all time and he is LOVING it. And we love watching him because of it. Nowhere is this better seen in the two-on-one sword fight.

Well, maybe the fight with Elena gives a better look at that.

23) The fight with Elena and Zorro is freaking awesome (if at times problematic).

This is comparable to their tango earlier in the film. It’s the passion between the two, their incredible chemistry matching each other. Mixed in with Elena’s growing ferocity and you have an amazing scene. There are just two things that bother: one is that Zorro kisses Elena without asking. I mean the chemistry is obviously incredible there, but I like it when people get asked first. Second is this:

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

This makes me a little uncomfortable, it feels creepy and like an invasion. It’s the one moment in the movie I think has maybe aged the worst.

24) The following horse chase/thief scene always felt a little bit extra to me. We don’t really need it I feel and it could have easily been cut without any issue to the rest of the story. I just…don’t need it.

25) Rafael is smart. He doesn’t underestimate any man who takes up the mantle of Zorro, unlike Cpt. Love. I love a villain who doesn’t underestimate the hero and vice versa.

26) Elena is smarter than Rafael gives her credit for, primarily because he gives her such little credit as a woman. When Diego comes to tell her that he’s her father, Rafael thinks he can just lie to her. But Elena has been putting together small things since her arrival in California: the familiarity she has with Diego, the familiar smell of flowers which only grow there, the woman in the market saying she knew her. Elena is able to figure it out all she needed was Diego to give her the last piece of the puzzle. I love that. And then it doesn’t take long for Elena to accept this truth as she saves Diego from Rafael’s jail.

27) In the climax of the film it is clear: Alejandro is Zorro and Diego is just a father trying to make things right. They’re both seeking revenge, but Alejandro’s revenge puts him on the path to saving the miners while Diego’s revenge (while aiding Alejandro) is more about himself. That’s not to say Diego has become a bad man, quite the contrary. But it is a clear distinction to make at the end of the film. There is no more question as to who Zorro is.

28) This climax is also not only well choreographed, but also is able to move seamlessly between Diego and Alejandro. It is a testament to the editing, direction, choreography again, and screenwriting that it doesn’t feel hacked together. It is just a great scene.

29) According to IMDb:

In Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio’s original draft of the screenplay, Don Diego was not killed, and lived to tell the story of Zorro’s adventures to his granddaughter.

I almost feel like that would have been too safe. I mean killing Diego is like killing Bruce Wayne to anyone who is a fan of the Zorro stories. It carries a lot of weight and ends his story well. It’s not sad. He got his daughter back, if only for a while. And he got to help her (even if just a little) become the woman she was in her heart. The fierce one. The wild one. The brave one.

30) Also according to IMDb:

During the post-production phase, Steven Spielberg and Martin Campbell decided that Diego de la Vega’s death in the arms of his daughter was too depressing. The ending, where Alejandro and Eléna are happily married with their infant son, was added three months after filming had ended.

I think that is a smart choice. It not only provides a nice parallel to the start of the film, but also ends the adventure on a high note.

Alejandro [to Elena about Zorro]: “He has been many different men, but he has loved you as all of them.”

The Mask of Zorro is a fun adventure film in it’s most basic and exciting form. It was mentioned briefly above that Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio (Pirates of the Caribbean, The Road to El Dorado, Shrek, Treasure Planet) wrote the script, and their signature sense of fun and (again) adventure infects every minute of the film. Antonio Banderas is an amazing Zorro and the cast which supports him - with particular shout outs to Anthony Hopkins and Catherine Zeta Jones - is just as good. If you’re a fan of adventure films or any of the actors involved, I suggest you give The Mask of Zorro a watch.

anonymous asked:

If Rxylos love Rxy as they claim to do, why do they minimize her pain and hatred during the interrogation scene and her battle with Kxlo? Did they not see Daxsy's facial expressions? Or did they just skim through the canon books for what "supports" their ship?

They don’t see the interrogation scene as a torture scene. Rey isn’t viewed as a victim because she defended herself against his manipulations. Which is odd thinking, because it is exactly how an abuse apologist would view their dynamic in that moment. They don’t have to be abusers to stand with that kind of perspective, but they certainly don’t bother themselves to accept that there is another way to see it. This other way, which is how many “ants” are seeing it, doesn’t mean that we are smarter or morally superior. 

It means we are not excusing his actions, regardless how much we personally like or dislike Kylo. 

When you separate every official comment made about these two characters and how they are feeling about each other, you only have their actions to judge.

When this happens, then we have to understand the intentions by the director responsible for the vision of this scene. When it comes to it, you will find one:

It was supposed to represent a rape parallel. It has been referred as a torture scene. That place is a torture chamber. Many people died at the hands of Kylo Ren in there. How the fuck do you think he has his collection of ash? Poe was going to be another victim of Kylo. He was going to die had Finn never interfered. This implication is scary, because it was very possible that if Rey was really “just a scavenger”, she was going to be magnificently screwed as well. Kylo used different tactics with Poe and Rey, yet the same intentions exists in both situations. Poe is a resistance pilot, Rey is a civilian at that point. Of course Kylo is going to let his guard down for Rey; he was reducing her to worthlessness yet tried to appear human to make her go off-guard, especially after she said that he was a “creature in a mask”. They can try and sympathize with Kylo’s wording in the books, but Kylo in the movie is no where near as (slightly) sympathetic. That characterization was changed and as such, still consequently invalid when used as “evidence” to present Kylo as “unwilling” to hurt Rey.

Book:  “I would have preferred to avoid this. Despite what you may believe, it gives me no pleasure. I will go as easily as possible—but I will take what I need.”

Movie: “You know I can take whatever I want.”

Then both characterizations of Kylo proceed to enter Rey’s mind. Both are only sympathetic to succeed in their own mission; Rey’s emotions and pain were second to no priority to him. It’s a fact on both scenarios. This isn’t happening because they are on opposite sides of a war, because that statement is simply bullshit. Remember, Rey is a civilian. She had zero connections to the Resistance. He is a fictional example of a war criminal. 

There is a huge difference in his character. The book version pretends to demostrate pity for Rey (because remember, he is still trying to show himself as human and vulnerable to guard her down), the movie version shows how straightforward his intentions are. He is an unstable young man who enjoys perceiving himself as a victim and a fearsome presence at the same time. He is a character with severe inferiority complex, and Rey calls him on it. 

Simply put, Kylo Ren is not a character who is emotionally ready to develop a sane relationship with someone else, romantic or not. If someone else that bears no responsibility to him (ahem, Rey) comes to his rescue, to bring him back to the light, he is continuing on his game of being a victim. 

The only people that are responsible to do something about him are Luke, Han and Leia. Kylo betrayed Luke. Kylo killed Han, his father. And Kylo did not moved a bone in his body to pull his mother out of the planet she was in, and was threatened to blow up by Starkiller Base. 

He is cutting all ties of his family in cold-blood. This guy is not Vader. Unfortunately, it seems likely that he is going to be officially woobified because of his poor, tragic past; as if Rey, Finn, Rose and Poe lived less harsher and less justifiable lives. We’ll see how it develops in the upcoming episodes. 

A violation is not exclusive to your body. It can also be mental and emotional. Rey felt pain in all three regards. The books they love to preach in our faces expresses her emotions when he enters in mind. The official novelization. Rey’s Story. Not one book reveals a positive reciprocation from Rey to Kylo. 

From the novelization:

She knew that trying to resist him physically would not only be useless but would likely result in unpleasantness of a kind she preferred not to imagine. So she remained motionless and silent, her arms at her sides, as his hand rose toward her face. He touched her again, as he had in the forest on Takodana.”  — His violation begins by entering her mind without consent, and briefly touches her again. He had previously caressed her face before this scene in the novelization.

“And hesitated. What was that? Something there. Something unexpected.” — The Force is beginning to awake in her. If this is about their connection, this information is currently ambiguous and does not strictly support a romantic potential between them. 

“As she strained to resist the probe, he pushed into her, brushing aside her awkward attempts to keep him out. While he investigated her mind, he spoke softly. “You’ve been so lonely,” he murmured as he searched for what he needed. “So afraid to leave.” A thin smile crossed his face. “At night, desperate to sleep, you’d imagine an ocean. I can see it…I can see the island.”   — He is finding pleasure in her misery, in her loneliness. 

Tears were streaming down her face from the effort she was making to withstand him. Increasingly desperate, she did try to strike out. But just as on Takodana, her body refused to respond. — Kylo was physically restraining her, through his mind probe. How is this not a rape parallel? 

“And Han Solo,” Ren continued relentlessly. “He feels like the father you never had. A dead end, that vision. Let it go. I can tell you for a fact he would have disappointed you.”

All the rage and terror bottled up inside her came out as she turned to meet his stare. “Get—out—of—my—head.”

It only made him lean in closer, enhancing her feeling of complete helplessness. “Rey—you’ve seen the map. It’s in there. And I am going to take it. Don’t be afraid.” — Just fucking CREEPY.

Where the strength to defy him came from she did not know, but if anything, her voice grew a little stronger. “I’m not giving you anything.”

His response reflected his unconcern. “We’ll see.” — WHOOPS, there it is. Absolutely no sympathetic regard towards her. He doesn’t need to show vulnerability anymore to his victim. He has her where he needs her.

Narrowing his gaze and his focus, he locked eyes with her. She met his stare without trying to look away. She should have looked away. It would have been the rational thing to do. The sane thing to do. Instead, she just glared, trying not to flinch, not to blink.

Ah, he thought to himself. Something there, of interest. Not the image of the map. That would take another moment. But definitely something worth investigating. He shifted his perception toward it, seeking to identify, to analyze, to—

The barrier he encountered stopped him cold. And it was he, Kylo Ren, who blinked. It made no sense. He pushed, hard, with his mind—and the probe went nowhere. — At this point, Rey had already begun to defend herself from his mind probing. 

A look of amazement replaced the fear on Rey’s face as she discovered herself inside his mind. Stunned at the realization, she found herself inexorably drawn to—to… “You,” she heard herself saying clearly, “you’re afraid. That you will never be as strong as—Darth Vader!”

Then you have them wondering why this video rubs off the wrong way. For me, the ship is a popular wishful thinking by fanon. There is no solid evidence that supports them in a potential romance in the sole context of the movie, which IS THE FINAL CUT of the episode. 

You would have to dig in deep to find some context (outside and inside of Star Wars) and then use your intellect to twist it in favor of the ship. Or in other, more positive wording, make some sense into it. It doesn’t, and you find the supporters constantly exhausting themselves finding validation for it. None of their essays that speaks of mythology, religion, sexuality and tropes that supports r*ylo are helping them remain firmly confident that their ship is going to happen. That is of course, if you don’t count the vocal bloggers, which tend to be very few of them. They are constantly changing goalposts. It doesn’t have a stable core. I don’t even know where they are standing at as a majority at the moment! I remember that a while ago they suddenly started to enjoy the trope of friends-to-lovers, something that FinnRey has remained constant since its inception. 

I would be like “ship and let ship” in a fandom, but when you see the constant erasure of Finn, passing his characterization to Kylo, the reduction of Rey and other characters (especially Leia) to benefit Kylo’s arc in a glamorous manner, I believe we are witnessing a very problematic ship that simply cannot be allowed to float without questioning it. If they find it bothersome that people that are against it are as vocal as they are, it worries me that they already know the truth but they simply don’t care. That’s why you would have a few bad apples on their side making up ideas to “troll” at “antis”, like responding with porn links. 

They simply don’t know what to do anymore. The “ants” aren’t going to stay quiet, especially if they are people of color. 

 Source: JJ Abrams reveals new information to Kylo Ren’s interrogation scene