i have absolutely no clue what i want his face to look like

I’ve been seeing a man in my backyard for the past two nights

Story by reddit user Opinionson

To start I need to give some background:

I am a male who lives in relatively nice neighborhood

It’s your average small town run of the mill suburbs area with not a lot of people.

I am a college kid who’s home on break while my parents have gone away which doesn’t help at all.

I have a two story house

I do not have gun nor do I have any real weapons other than kitchen knives

I am not on any medication and I have no record of schizophrenia or any other mental illnesses

I barely have any relationships with my neighbors most of whom are elderly and the rest I have minimal contact with

I do not have any people in my neighborhood (that I know of) who have reasons to attack or harm me

Now, let’s get into what has been happening. About two nights ago I woke up very late in the night and I went to the bathroom to go take a shit. Now, my second story bathroom has a window that can see the entirety of my backyard. Directly behind it is a cul de sac which you can see directly into. There is a group of trees and pile of rocks and mulch that divides it. Usually I can see everything in my backroom without turning on my because lights from my neighbor’s house dimly lights the room.

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Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
Lockers - Peter Parker

request -  hey, welcome to tumblr ! great username XD i was wondering if you could do a scenario where the reader was in the elevator then as spiderman pulls her up, she recognizes his voice then the next day, she confronts peter in at school, in an empty classroom and says she knows who he is and then hugs him out of nowhere and so much fluff ugh. thank you and i wish you the best with the blog !

a/n - i went through many different plots/settings with this fic so it took a while but, writing this was really fun. it sort of become rly super duper long so i apologize for that LOL and hopefully the fluff isn’t a flop like me but don’t forget to request a peter parker/spider-man fic if you’d like and follow!

The elevator began to shake even more, dropping one more time before I felt as if our fate was waiting for us down at the bottom floor. The broken glass made it hard to stand up, but what was even worse was that I was the only one left in the doomed elevator.

“Grab onto my hand!” The officer shouted at me, extending his arm to be the best way he could. I tried to desperately to reach it, but I couldn’t. The mix of adrenaline and fear had struck my body to the max.

“Sir, I-I can’t.” I cried, my heart breaking even more. Just then, the elevator went down another foot, and I felt my back press up against the tarnished wall. All I could hear was the harsh beat of my heart and the yells for help from the people up top.

“(Y/N) please! Try again!” I heard Liz yell from above. The situation had become to surreal to me that I almost became numb to it, with what could happen in a matter of seconds not scaring me as much as it should be.

Before I could register anything else, the sound of glass breaking snapped me back into reality. But surprisingly, it wasn’t from the elevator.

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The day I apparently broke the internet! From Dallascon16

So I have come to learn that quite a lot of people have seen this photo and only about half know the amazing story behind it. So I thought I would finally tell it here on tumblr!

I had bought a mishalecki photo op ticket on the Thursday before the convention but had absolutely no clue what pose to do, until it hit me. I am a hug Misha fan, and every time I have gotten to talk to him I am usually sarcastic and try to match his wit. I also love Jared, he is like an actually giant puppy. Anyway way the whole fandom knows that Misha had bragged about how flexible he is, well I am quite flexible too. Just as flexible as Misha actually,lol! So then this pose came to mind. I knew it would crack Jared up and it would give me a chance to show off some skill. I didn’t want to many people knowing what pose I was going to do because I was afraid volunteers might not be keen on the idea or I just wanted it to be a surprise.

So I was third or so in line for the photo and Misha and Jared set the tone pretty quickly with their entrance that screamed fun and sexy. Half the people in the room knew what pose I was gonna do and the other half didn’t. When it came my turn I walked up to Jared and Misha, I had to repeat it twice but for the sake of just retyping the same things I will write once.

I stood between Jared and Misha, looking at Jared while I kept Misha in my sights. I said this, “ Hey guys so I am going to do a pose you have never done before. (They began to smile; I then gently put my hand on Misha’s chest to direct Jared’s attention) See I am more flexible than Misha is, (Jared chuckled, Misha looked curious) so I am going to do a reverse table top yoga pose and I want you two to arm wrestle on my stomach. Look as extreme as possible, got it!?” I had to repeat this twice, but both were smiling and went ok, I have a feeling they were still confused, that was until I hit the ground. I heard half the room gasp,slightly, and the other half sorta whispering. From above I heard Jared and Misha go at the same time, “OH”, they had finally understood. Jared actually signaled for Chris to do another picture because he realized they both were not ready when the photo was taken, I am so glad he did cause it turned out amazing.

As I started to come out of the pose Jared helped me up, which was basically pulling me 3ft into the air, I am 5′2! He went, “Damn girl that was kick ass!” and gave me a high five. I told both of them thank you and started to walk away when Misha decided he was not done with me yet. Misha gently grabbed my arm and pulled me back. He leaned in so close to my face I could feel his scruff and he whispered, “ Your not more flexible than me.” As I turned to look at him he gave me the Casifer grin and winked. And to put the cherry on top of me walking away I started smiling and wagging my finger going, “No no no no no”, and the damn music stopped. Misha and Jared chuckled and I left. Later that day I showed Jared the photo, he cracked up laughing and decided to sign it, even though I already had his auto. I was like Jared stop and he went, nope I am signing this. He also signed it with AKF.

There you have it, my crazy story!

“Is this 03 or Brotherhood?”, the definitive guide

I know a lot of people have trouble telling the two FMA anime apart, and I’ve noticed an increase in confusion lately, so I thought I’d make a post to help clear it up! I’ll go over some telltale differences between the two styles, in order of ease. For images, Brotherhood will be on the left, and 03 on the right.

1. Al’s armor

If Al is present in an image, he’s the quickest way to tell the difference between the two series. 03 Al is fairly greenish in hue, and his face looks similar to the early stages of the manga, with a very rectangular chin. Brotherhood Al is much greyer, a little shinier, perhaps a bit bulkier, and his face is more angular with a curvier chin, giving him something of a permanent >:( face. His toes curve up in Brotherhood, but not in 03. Also, since the fight with Buccaneer never happened in 03, if Al’s ponytail is short, it’s definitely Brotherhood!

2. Characters who appear in one series but not the other

This is something of a no-brainer, but it’s worth mentioning. Look at what characters are present in the image. Anyone who appears after the Dublith arc in the manga/Brotherhood would not be in 03. Conversely, characters such as Dante, Lujon, Archer, the Tringham brothers, and Leo don’t appear in Brotherhood.

3. The women

While this doesn’t necessarily apply to every screencap, women in 03 tend to have somewhat defined lips, while they don’t usually in Brotherhood (with the exception of Olivier, who wouldn’t be in 03 anyway). This is especially true of promotional art, as opposed to screencaps.

4. The chain

(Running in the shadooooows~)

On every Amestrian military uniform, there’s a rope chain on the right shoulder, which also attaches to the front of the breast. In 03, the bit connecting the chain to the front of the uniform is braided, while in Brotherhood, that portion is a single cord.

5. Colors + general vague feeling

Colors can sometimes be used to tell the difference, if the lighting is standard. Colors in Brotherhood are fairly muted, but not too dark, and generally stick to shades of red, blue, yellow, black, white, and brown. They might almost be described as pastel, at least compared to 03. While colors in 03 are usually more saturated than Brotherhood, they’re also a lot darker, and not nearly as coordinated in hue. Also, 03 characters in general tend to have something of a youthful look to them, compared to Brotherhood, and noses are usually longer and pointier than in Brotherhood.

6. Specific character differences

Certain characters have notably different looks between series. If these characters appear in a screencap, you can look to them for clues. Some examples:

  • Ed: His hair is darker and more orange in 03. He also wears the same outfit throughout most of it, while his alternate outfits from Brotherhood don’t appear. His face shape also pretty much stays the same in 03, while in Brotherhood he matures physically towards the end of the series.
  • Al: His human form in 03 has noticeably darker, more brown hair than Ed, whereas in Brotherhood there’s really very little difference between the two. Shamballa Al is also very distinct: Long hair in a ponytail, basically dresses like Ed. Post-Promised Day Brotherhood Al looks older than Shamballa Al, and has short hair.
  • Winry: Her “work outfit” in 03 had a pink bandana and light purple pants. In Brotherhood, the bandana is green, and her pants are tan.
  • Rose: Had dark skin and pink bangs in 03, while in Brotherhood, her skin is light and her bangs are more of an auburn color. She also appeared much more in 03.
  • Scar: 03 Scar looked way younger, and had no cheekbones. Brotherhood Scar has cheekbones and could crush 03 Scar’s teen vogue looking ass with his bare hands.
  • Bradley: Brotherhood Bradley has wrinkles on his forehead, and a very defined nose. 03 Bradley has a more empty face, and also usually a darker skin tone. Brotherhood Bradley also looks a lot more pissed off compared to 03 Bradley, most of the time.
  • Greed: In 03, Greed’s shield form is dark blue with red eyes. In Brotherhood, it’s grey with black eyes. His undershirt is also dark blue in 03, while it’s dark red in Brotherhood. Also, obviously, Greeling does not appear in 03.
  • Kimblee: Brotherhood Kimblee is a suave ass motherfucker with the best fashion sense in the entire series. 03 Kimblee has this absolutely terrible circa 1980s Rachel Summers-esque braid/buzz cut combo that makes me want to cry every time I look at it.
Say That Again

Summary: Soulmate AU. Everyone hears a key word or phrase in their head from their soulmate, something only heard in person when the moment is right.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: language, self-consciousness, fluff, that’s basically it

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely wonderful talented @bladebarnes’ 2k Celebration Challenge. My prompt was 35. quote: “Say that again.” I saw Baby Driver recently and couldn’t get the diner thing out of my head.

Originally posted by coporolight

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Top 9 Most Fight-Able Characters in Mystic Messenger

(ranked by the likelihood of winning from least to most likely)

9. “Mary” Vanderwood, Secret Agent Murdermonster

Result: A swift and painful death

Are you shitting me? You’ll be goddamn eviscerated on the spot. Not to mention nobody will ever find your body. This is completely fucking unadvisable. DO NOT DO THIS unless you have a DEATH WISH and want to disappear from the world completely. Vanderwood is not to be messed with. They’ve killed many a worthy foe, and you will not be one of them. There’s not much else to say here. I don’t care who you are, you should not challenge Vanderwood. Say your prayers, fucker

8. Unknown/Saeran Choi, Total Edgelord

Result: Utter defeat, probably followed by torture + imprisonment

I don’t think you need me to tell you that this kid is fucking off his rocker. Let’s be real, he’s probably killed a few people, and he enjoyed every minute of it. You can bet your ass he’ll likely torture you after defeating you, too. And you know, some of you sick fucks will probably enjoy the whole damn ordeal. You’re probably the only ones who’d WANT to fight him just to have him fucking step on you. Well congratu-fucking-lations, you got what you wanted. He still beats your ass. The only reason Vanderwood beats him in this ranking is because it’s possible he’d keep you alive for fun, and some of you would enjoy that, so at least it’s a fuckin victory for somebody. Fuck.

7. Jaehee Kang, Smarter than the CEO

Result: Total annihilation + jail time

Do you see this face? This is the face of someone who has been repressing violent urges for fucking years for the sake of keeping her job. If she could snap Jumin’s neck, she would in a heartbeat. You do not want to give her a justifiable reason to unleash that utter fucking rage on your sorry ass. Did you forget she has a black belt in judo? She could beat my ass. She could beat your ass. She could beat anyone’s ass. I don’t care WHO you think you are. And after the fight? She’ll report you to the proper authorities, pick up a cup of coffee, and finish her daily tasks like nothing fucking happened. What a wild bitch. I fucking love her to death, tbh. And you know what? How dare you challenge her. She deals with enough shit in her life. I hope she beats your ass with a righteous fucking fury. Have fun in jail, dipshit.

6. God 707, Meme Lord Supreme

Result: Depends on your approach, but probably a failure

Honestly Seven’s about as fucking predictable as a lunch box full of wasps. What am I even supposed to say here? He’d probably imitate that shitty ass vine meme the first time you punch him and say “I can’t believe you’ve done this”, complete with a British accent, but when you keep hitting, it’ll confuse him. The element of surprise is probably your best bet, but you also have no fucking clue what he’ll do. He might beat the shit out of you. He might scamper away on his scrawny ass legs and proceed to hack into everything you once loved or held dear. He might lay down on the ground and let you kick the shit out of him. In the end, it depends on his mood. Is that reliable at all? Absolutely fucking not. So go for it, but I literally have no idea how it’s gonna turn out for you.

5. Zen/Hyun Ryu, A God Among Men

Result: You have a good chance of winning, but at what cost?

OK BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND LISTEN THE FUCK UP. Why is Zen higher up on the list, Nani??? you ask me, pouting, clutching your Zen body pillow(s) in agony. Zen had a bad past!! He’s not easy to fight, he was such a bad boy!! v//w//v He’s so tough and strong and he’s our knight in shining armor! Hey!! Good for you! But GUESS FUCKING WHAT!! If you’re female, he’ll probably forfeit to you immediately, unlike the barbarians before him on this list, so technically he’s easier to fight! He’d probably LET you beat the shit out of him if it made you feel better. It’s not even a fucking question of who would win if a woman challenged him, so we’re gonna move on.
Now, if you’re a GUY, he’d be more willing to square up, and my advice is go for his face. Pretty boy doesn’t like messing up his pretty mug, and if you play dirty, he’ll get scared real quick. His ponytail is a disadvantage for him, so yank it real hard. You have a better chance of beating him with perseverance, but if you let him get the upper hand, you’re deceased because he’s probably a heavy hitter. Also, you will incur the wrath of all his fangirls, and probably the angels above, and you will spend the rest of your life MISERABLE AND CURSED, so proceed with caution. If you can get away with it without anyone knowing your identity, you’re golden. Good luck, but also, why? do you even want to??

4. Jumin Han, Mistah Trussfund Kid (The CEO)

Result: Instant win, but your life will be RUINED

Honestly, I think certain RFA members would actually be very glad if someone handed Jumin’s ass to him, but good fucking luck accomplishing that without having your entire life destroyed. On a purely physical level, Jumin is no competition. He may be the tallest motherfucker around, but he’s never fought anyone before in his LIFE. You’d probably only have an issue here if you were short as shit, and even then, go for the knees, amirite? He’ll fall like a fucking oak tree, and then you can rip him a new one while he’s down. Easy peasy, right? WRONG. He’s got a horde of like 50 bodyguards that you have to sneak past or defeat first or something. And if you somehow make it to Jumin first, they’ll swarm your ass after you first start swinging and have you incapacitated in a few seconds. Are those first few swings worth it? Maybe. But he’s gonna sue your ass for everything you own. The whole world will know your name. If you don’t get jail time, you’ll wish you had. It will be an easier life than trying to live in the public. Zen and Jaehee might love you forever, though, so maybe they can pull a few favors for ya. You better pray they do. Good fuckin luck out there, champ.

3. Yoosung Kim, Small Child

Result: Victory, but with a catch

Look into this child’s eyes. Look me in the eyes. Tell me that Yoosung isn’t a fucking pansy. You can’t, can you? It’s because Yoosung is a fucking pansy. This kid would be down for the count after exactly one (1) punch. He might enjoy it a little too, which’ll be awkward as shit for both of you. HOWEVER. If you trigger his Yandere side, which is bullshit but whatever, he might put up more of a fight. How do you do this, you may ask? Insult Rika. or MC. (Probably Rika tho). Something inside him will snap, and then he’ll be trickier to handle. He’ll probably play dirty when he’s like this, so expect to get shanked or bitten or something. It doesn’t change the fact that his scrawny ass can’t fight for shit, so you’ll still probably win, but not without a few injuries yourself. Hurting Yoosung is probably the moral equivalent to kicking a puppy. If you can be ok with yourself after that, then I mean, go for it.

2. Rika, the Antichrist

Result: Certain victory, but extremely dangerous

Look, maybe I should’ve put her lower on the list considering she’s got an entire cult following her every order. But, honest to God, you would be morally obligated to fight her. Please beat the shit out of her. Physically, her scrawny ass could do nothing to stop you. She’s ruined the lives of her friends, as well as countless other people, because of her deranged and, quite frankly, selfish desires. Basically, she’s a little bitch. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but god damn, you’ll be everyone’s hero. The downside to this is that she might sick Saeran on you, which is gonna be a pain in your ass, and Yoosung might hate you forever, but I think you can live with that, right? Do us all a favor. Fight Rika.

1. Jihyun Kim/V, aka Flower Angel Sunshine Man

Result: Total Victory, but you’re basically Satan

BEFORE YOU SEND ME ANON HATE, REMEMBER: this is a list based on how likely you are to win. And V? V would let anyone beat him. He probably thinks he deserves it. He might defend himself a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. Your victory would be almost immediate. There is no catch to V. You’d just win. But you’re a fucking monster for it. And you know what? I’ll beat the shit out of you if you hurt this man. So don’t even think about it, asshole.

Vodka

This is sorta lame and cheesy, but it’s basically just a fluffy Imagine about Tom being a cute boyfriend and taking care of his drunk girlfriend💗
Author’s Note: This is a oneshot inspired by sorta me? My mom had a party and made a ton of mixed drinks, and because I’m a dumb baby that never drinks, I forgot that vodka literally punches you in a face when you drink too much of it? Anyways, I got drunk and ended up crying to one of my cousins for about 40 minutes about all the reasons why I love Tom? Apparently, I’m even more cheesy and sentimental drunk than I am sober, who knew lol?

Vodka
She giggled to herself, ankles knocking into each other as she braced herself on the door of her apartment. She was absolutely, completely, and undeniably smashed. Truly, she couldn’t even remember how she’d gotten this way, but then again, she could barely recall her uber ride home.
Her hands kept shaking and she couldn’t find the correct key to fit itself into the doorknob. At this rate, she’d be out all night.
Tom paused the film he was watching and glanced back towards the front door. He was pretty sure that he could hear someone out there, but it was probably just their neighbor’s being noisy. Allowing the film to regain his full attention, he did his best to ignore the strange sounds outside, until he heard something that replicated her giggle.
His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She was supposed to be at a sleepover with her best friends, not coming home at one in the morning? Tom got up and made his way over to the window by the door. Peeking out, he saw that the giggle outside indeed belonged to her, and she appeared to be struggling hugely with the task of opening the door.
Quickly crossing to help her inside, Tom yanked open the door and barely had time to catch her as she crashed in on top of him.
“Tom!” She yelped excitedly, making no effort to move off of him, instead cuddling further into him, while he laid sprawled across the floor with her lying on his chest. “Do you wanna hear a joke? It’s so dirty and I know how you love dirty things!” She explained innocently, her eyelashes tickling his neck.
Tom chuckled, “Darling, come on up here. We’ve gotta close the door.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you!” She leaned over him, “What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?”
“You’re absolutely wrecked.” Tom laughed, taking in her mussed up appearance. She still looked good, how could she not? Her skirt was just shorter, her breasts were more exposed than she’d be comfortable with sober, and her eyemakeup was slightly smudged. Her hair tumbled down her back in messy waves and she teetered on her high heels.
If she had come home sober, Tom would’ve dragged her off to bed with him, but alas, she was drunk and needed to be taken care of.
“She gagged!” His girlfriend giggled, finishing up the butt of her joke. “Do you get it?”
Tom burst out laughing and cradled the back of her head as he rolled her onto her side so that he could get up to lock the door. “Yes, baby, I do. Where’d you hear that one?”
She didn’t even seem to have registered what he asked her because, in response, she said, “I don’t think I’d be Cinderella if I was a disney princess. She gags, but not me. I don’t gag, unless you make me.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re going to be so embarrassed in the morning.” Tom said, slipping his hands beneath her arms to pick her up. Helping her down the hallway to their bedroom, he asked, “Darling, how come you’re not with your friends right now?”
She blinked her eyes slowly and licked her lips. “We were all talking, and drinking. So, so, so much drinking. Did you know that vodka is strong? Like, it’s so strong, because, I’m not sure if you can tell, but,” She leaned closer to his chest and pressed herself up onto her tippy toes to whisper in his ear, “I’m kinda drunk right now.”
Turning his head towards her, he decided to play along, “Are you serious? I’d had no clue.”
“Well, yes! Anywho,” She dragged out the last letter of anywho before she tripped over herself again.
Tom caught her and slipped a firmer hand around her waist. “Anywho?” He pressed.
“We were all talking about our boyfriends, and how much we love them, because, I love you so much. And then, we started talking about the stuff we do with our boyfriends.” She paused in the hallway to poke Tom’s chest, “That’s my favorite shirt on you.”
“Darling, I’m not wearing a shirt?” Tom said, cocking his head to the side.
“I know,” She smiled, “That’s why it’s my favorite.” She gestured to Tom’s exposed midriff, “This is all great. Like, you look so good. The best.”
Tom dissolved into laughter and shook his head, “My silly, drunk girl. What are we going to do with you?”
“Well, you see, what I’d like you to do with me is make-out. That’s really why I came home. We started talking about some things,” She cupped her hand around Tom’s ear and whispered, “Sexy time things. And we all agreed that I should come home to you so that we could do the sexy time things. Because, I wanna do them, with you.”
Finally crossing the threshold of their bedroom, Tom placed her gently onto the bed and tried to ignore her last statement. Yes, she was his girlfriend. Yes, she’d just told him that she wanted him, and yes, he obviously wanted her too. But, she was drunk, much too drunk to consent to sex with him.
Tonight, Tom would be a good boyfriend and take care of her, but, in the morning, Tom would be a good boyfriend and he’d give her at least 2 orgasms with 2 advil pills to chase away her headache before breakfast.
“Sweet girl, we can’t right now. You’ve been drinking too much, you’re absolutely wasted.” Tom tried to reason with her.
“No, no I’m not. If I was drunk, could I do this?” She took a deep breath, “‘May I feel said he/ (I’ll squeal said she/ just once said he) It’s fun said she/ (May I touch said he/ How much said she/ A lot said he) Why not said she.”
Tom cut her off, “Sweetheart, nothing you say matters right now, you’re too drunk. Now just let me help you out of that dress.” Shaking his head, Tom laughed as he walked over to her with an oversized sweatshirt of his in his hand. Only she would be able to quote E.E. Cummings completely inebriated.
Kneeling in front of her, Tom lifted one of her feet onto his lap to unbuckled her high heeled shoe. Undoing the clasp and carefully removing the heel, he pressed a tender kiss to the top of her foot.
“You know, I like it a lot better when you’re on your knees for a different reason.” She pouted, sitting up to watch him.
Tom chuckled again as he began to remove her other shoe, “Trust me darling, so do I. Roll over-” He didn’t even get to finish his sentence when she interjected.
“Are you gonna spank me?” She asked, rolling over. Her tiny dress had ridden up even more and Tom had to bite down on his lower lip and clasp his hands together to prevent himself from doing just that.
“You’re making this really difficult.” Tom muttered.
“Then do something about it. I thought bad girls got spankings?” She teased him, eyeing the hardness growing within his pajama bottoms.
“Stop it, I’m trying to take care of you and you’re making it really hard.” Tom groaned.
“I can tell,” She giggled.
“For fucks sake,” Tom rolled his eyes, “I’m going to help you out of the dress, and that’s all the touching I’m going to do tonight. Then, I’m going to take off your makeup, and you’re going to go to sleep.”
“Tom,” She whined, wriggling around on the bed, “I don’t wanna. I want you to do me.”
Tom laughed, “You’re going to die in the morning, oh my gosh. You’re such a child.”
“Ugh!” She whined and flattened out onto the mattress.
Sitting down behind her on the bed, Tom rolled her over and unzipped the back of her dress. He did his best to not look, but the zipper kept getting caught in her hair, and he couldn’t ignore the soft skin of her back. He saw that she’d chosen to wear the pretty, light pink, lace bra that she’d been wearing the first time they’d had sex. Groaning over the memories, he helped her rid her body of the confining fabric of her dress and had slid his sweatshirt over her body.
She turned to lay on her back, “Will you at least kiss me?”
“Yes,” Tom placed a soft kiss on her mouth, “Do you wanna get up to go to the bathroom to take off your makeup, or do you want me to do it for you here?”
“Hmmm, here.” She sat up and stuck her hands inside of the sweatshirt, only to toss her bra off seconds later.
Tom’s eye lingered on her chest as he got up to retrieve her makeup wipes.
“I love youuuuu.” She said, hugging herself to his chest after Tom had successfully cleansed her face of all traces of makeup. “You’re my favorite, even though you refuse to fuck me.”
Tom tucked the duvet under her chin and crawled in behind her. He kissed her temple and curled an arm around her, “I love you too darling.”
He prayed to the high heavens above that she wouldn’t feel his excitement poking her in the back while she drifted off and into dreamland.

PLL ENDGAME FINAL THEORY

Okay guys, so here is my theory. It’s long so bear with me. I hope you’re convinced with this one

In this theory, I will tell you who Uber A is. Who killed Charlotte. Who killed Jessica. How every character is involved in the story. What the initials A.D. stand for. Everything that we are yet to know at this point. 

Who is Uber A? There are two people. A twin of a character we know and her helper. We have an identical twin among us that has been behind everything that we are yet to know. Bethany Young is the twin and she is Uber A. The show is coming in full circle. She killed Jessica, Charlotte, Sara Harvey, etc. Uber A and Charlotte’s killer ARE the same person. She is not here to avenge anyone’s death like they want us to believe. She’s here for revenge for having her life ruined. 

They promoted this new A as the deadliest and most twisted A of all the As (and the one who loves the game the most). That description doesn’t fit with someone who is avenging someone’s death. 

It all starts with Bethany and Charles. The night Marion Cavanaugh died. According to Charlotte, Bethany pushed Marion Cavanaugh and blamed her. This isn’t true. Charlotte killed Marion, Bethany witnessed it, and Jessica covered it. Charlotte blamed Bethany but Jessica paid Wilden to rule it out as a suicide. Flashbacks aren’t always true. It’s visualized on what the person is saying. Jessica wouldn’t cover up the murder if Bethany did it. That’s why in Bethany’s recordings we would hear her saying to someone “she’s a bitch, she’s an evil bitch!” It’s not clear as to who was she talking about but it was definitely Charlotte or Jessica. Bethany drew pictures of Jessica with horns and the word ‘liar’ all over it

Charlotte lied in her story so Alison and the rest of the liars would feel bad for her. This is why some of the things don’t make sense. A big part of her story was a damn lie. Charlotte is the biggest liar on the show. Everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. Bethany got payback after the time jump by murdering Charlotte and throwing her off the bell tower, just like Charlotte pushed Marion from Radley. What I love about this is that Uber ‘A’ is putting the girls through hell to find Charlotte’s killer when she is the one behind it.

Who’s Bethany’s twin? Spencer Hastings. Mary Drake had Spencer and Bethany. Both are identical twins. One was adopted by The Hastings and the other one was put into family services and was adopted by the Young family and was sent to Radley later on. Before you all say “Bethany was two years older than Spencer and the rest of the girls” Charles was supposedly older than Jason but in reality they were the same age. Jessica and Kenneth came up with that lie to keep the adoption a secret from everyone else as it was revealed in 6x20. Bethany’s information was made up to keep her a secret from everyone

Peter Hastings was responsible for this and this is why he wanted Toby to stop investigating his mom’s death and sign the papers to close Radley back in season 4. The more he was investigating the more got to the truth. 

This is why we never saw her face when she escaped Radley. She has Spencer’s face. And this is going to be the ultimate final twist the writers already talked about. Lets be real, if she was a random girl we would see her face. They could’ve casted literally any blonde for this scene and they would show us her face. We still have yet to see her face as a teenager

One of the biggest mysteries on the show are Bethany’s drawings. There is a drawing of a woman falling (Marion), the picture of a demon (Jessica) taking a kid (Charles) away. We also see pictures of her but they’re all distorted. We can’t see her face

This makes me believe that she has part of her face disfigured or doesn’t want to show her face AND this is why Uber A wears masks

I will show you proof that Mary had a third child (which is the twin) In 7x08, Spencer and Aria go visit Dr. Cochran and he tells the girls that he helped Mary delivered “Two OF her babies” as opposed to her “two babies” hinting about another child. One was adopted and the other was put in family services. Mary was giving Spencer hints about a twin in the premiere telling her how much she and Melissa looked alike. 

This is one of my favorite scenes from 7A because Mary was indirectly telling Spencer her relationship with her parents and how they met a long time ago leaving Spencer confused

What does Sara Harvey have to do with everything? Sara was killed for knowing too much. She was a girl from another town involved in all this mess. Sara ran way from her home and Charlotte kidnapped and forced her to be her accomplice. She used her as a decoy in all the stuff that she was planning to do like “The Lodge Fire”. She knew stuff about Charlotte and was going to tell the girls and run away but Uber A was outside her room waiting to kill her. Never ever underestimate “A”. It happened with Jessica, Mona and finally to Sara. 

I hate to say this but Sara wasn’t the real Black Widow. The real Black Widow is the twin Bethany. She is the ENDGAME. I have proof of this. The first time we were introduced to the Black Widow was in the season 4 premiere titled “A is for A-L-I-V-E” (the title is a clue). Her introduction was really creepy and weird. It felt like a new character that was VERY connected to the story. Whoever this person was did NOT want to be seen in public because either they’re supposed to be dead, they are secret twin of someone or they are looking for them and that’s why she was wearing a mask and we can see this at the end of the episode

In 7x01 when the girls see the fake Hanna hanging in the bell tower. There was a clue that leads back to 4x01. Caleb looks at this phone and it’s 4:01 a.m. The writers tend to use numbers as clues. The episode where we are introduced to Black Widow

Black Widow had the girls as dolls at the lair. Sara may have been bad but having the girls as their dolls is completely twisted and it doesn’t fit her with character. Sara wasn’t wearing a mask when she lifted up her veil. I’m pretty sure the writers did this on purpose so we could catch the fakeness of Charlotte’s story.

Another thing that doesn’t make sense about her story. She shot Wilden twice. Lets be real here. She would know if he was really dead after shooting him. Why would she need Sara to go and check if he was really dead? This makes absolutely no sense. Here is more proof that Bethany is the real Black Widow. Toby was getting messages to take the RV and he would know what really happened to his mom. Who would know what happened to his mom? The witness. -A was helping Toby solve his mom’s mysterious death

What I’m about to say I believe no one has said it before. Bethany was working with Mona but Mona didn’t know who she was working for. Mona created the A game so Bethany could finish it. This has always been Bethany’s game. Mona loved playing the game and the last thing she would do was to reveal herself. Someone KNEW what Mona had done that night Alison disappeared and Mona was being blackmailed about it. She had no other choice than to reveal herself. How do I know this? Easy, Mona saying to Spencer “Either you join the A-Team, or you disappear” 

And of course Mona’s monologue when she’s admitted for evaluation: “I know they’re watching me, I don’t look bad considering… I like this lipstick, what’s it called? Toffee tango? (voice changes) They think it’s over, Loser Mona is going to the nuthouse and those precious liars are going home to sleep with their windows open and their doors unlocked. Don’t they know that’s what WE want?”

Okay there’s been theories that it was Charlotte talking after Mona but it’s impossible because Charlotte was a patient at Radley and met Mona later during her stay. Whoever was talking was helping Mona all along and she was present in the season 2 finale. She was at the masquerade party. She was right in front of us wearing a red dress with a full mask. The camera focuses on her. She has been watching them all along

Now. I will talk about her helper. Her helper is Dr. Wren Kingston. Wren has been an A-team member since the beginning. Mary sent him to Rosewood check on The Hastings and the only way to continue reporting her what the Hastings were doing was to get engaged to Melissa Hastings but he fell for Spencer and everything was ruined

I will give you the biggest clue that Wren is AD’s main accomplice

In 7x01, we see Mary talking to someone on the phone and according to Mona, “It’s definitely a man. I think he has an accent. Maybe Aussie, maybe British. Note: This can’t be Rollins because Mary and Rollins were not in touch for a couple of days

This is going to sound really twisted but I don’t think Mary cared about Charlotte at all. Charlotte was looking for her and she was spending time in other countries. 

Something that hasn’t been explained is why Wren suddenly decided to volunteer in Radley when Mona was admitted there. He volunteered to continue the A game but with a new leader (Charlotte DiLaurentis). Eddie Lamb suspected and knew all along that Wren was bad news

The infamous visitor’s pass. Wren didn’t make the pass for Charlotte. it was for Bethany but under the name CeCe Drake. She used Charlotte’s “alias” when she had her out privileges. She was sneaking into Radley under that name to visit Mona wearing a Red Coat. That pass couldn’t have been for Charlotte because she was already a patient there. All she needed was to get out of her room and visit her. Why would she need a visitor’s pass?

Mona said to the liars in 3x24 “that she made a deal with the devil and she gave me a way in and out of that place”

Charlotte wasn’t giving her a way in and out of Radley because she needed Mona to get out of that place without anyone noticing as she stated in 6x10.

So who was Mona talking to? Uber A. The real Red Coat and Black Widow. 

Only someone who works or was a patient for a long time knows the exits and secret doors. Bethany escaped Radley so she would definitely know the secret exits

Uber A manipulated everyone to do her dirty work. Just like Mona, Charlotte was addicted to the A game so why would she just give herself up? Because someone was telling her what to do. And this is why they introduced us to the board game. This is how Uber A was manipulating everyone. Telling them what to do.

In 6x10, Mona tells the girls that she didn’t tell CeCe about them but somebody at Radley did start sending her riddles and twisted rhymes. More proof that someone else was seeing her. 

The last time we hear about Wren is in 6x17 in a flashback of Hanna and Melissa in a restroom. According to Melissa, he was in contact with Charlotte when she was at Welby. Melissa tells Hanna that Charlotte ruined her relationship with him because he found out that she killed the girl in the grave. Wren was blackmailing Melissa about this throughout 6B. This is why Melissa was terrified if someone else had the tape confession because someone was targeting her.

Now the last question. Who’s in the grave? A stranger that was killed and buried with the outfit. Grunwald rescued Alison and someone with a red sleeve rescued Bethany. There are two different scenes with two people wearing different clothes and rescuing someone. Whoever was identified was killed and buried with the yellow top outfit

You can follow me on twitter @boyfataie if you want to discuss it

Whiteboard. Destiel, canon!verse, 1.3k. 
When you fail to say the words, there’s always the option to write it down.

For a while now, there has been a whiteboard in Dean’s room.

Cas often sees Dean use it; to organize clues for cases that he and Sam can’t quite solve, and to write down reminders, or to simply rearrange his thoughts. And, on rare occasions, to draw silly doodles to help him get his mind off of whatever supernatural disaster is next on the agenda.

Currently, aforementioned board is empty though, and Cas stares a hole in it, sitting on Dean’s bed, arms wrapped around his knees, his chin resting on his hands. Dean is there too, right beside him, lying on the other side of the bed, his back to Castiel, his shoulders tense. There might as well be some sort of invisible wall between them, and Cas absolutely hates it. Hates it whenever they fight like this, and what makes it even worse is that Dean refuses to talk. Whenever they have an argument he’ll snap at Castiel, once maybe twice, but after that, it’s usually the silent treatment.

And it makes Castiel feel powerless every time, because how can you fix something when you don’t even get a chance to plead your case?

Dean isn’t sleeping, Cas can tell from his breathing, harsh and uneven. Which must mean that Dean doesn’t like this either, and just like that, inspiration strikes.

“Dean?” Cas mutters quietly, but not unkindly.

A grunt from the other side of the bed.

“I know you’re angry, I know you’d rather not talk, but I thought that maybe…” Castiel pauses, trying to figure out which words to choose. “I thought that maybe we could write it down.”

There’s a huff from Dean, and Cas doesn’t know what to make of that, but he refuses to give up now. Slowly, he gets up from the bed, shuffling towards the whiteboard. He picks up one of the markers, a blue one, and starts writing.

He hears Dean move on the bed, probably getting up as well, and that’s what Cas had been counting on; Dean’s curiosity getting the best of him.

When Cas is done he puts down the marker, his eyes scanning the message one last time.

‘I apologize for what I did yesterday, I’m sorry I went after those rogue angels by myself without telling you. I didn’t want you to get dragged into my problems, and I feared it wasn’t safe for you to come with me. Which you would have, had I told you before I left.’

He hears a muffled sigh behind him, and he’s surprised to see Dean already standing right there. Dean rolls his eyes as he reads the message, but his face relaxes, and the green of his eyes is softer now. After a long moment, he theatrically picks up a marker as well, the green one, giving Castiel that face that says 'do we really have to do this?’

But Dean does it anyway, and writes a reply, the Dean Winchester way that Cas knows so well.

'I want you to drag me into your problems, you idiot, it’s not like I don’t drag you into mine. PS: you forgot to apologize for the part where you almost got killed. PPS: fine, apology accepted. Don’t ever do that again.’

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Let Me Help

Spencer Reid x Reader (smut)

Requested: Yes. Anon: hey! I really love your blog and I was wondering if you could do a reid x reader where the reader has a wet dream about Spencer and she finally tells him about her dream after he asks her what’s wrong and it ends in smut?? thank you so much

Word Count: 3,589, Warnings: Swearing, NSFW, Oral Sex.

A/N: Oh my God okay so I went a little crazy on this one and it’s a full fledged long fic. I was writing this and I actually needed to take a break my palms were sweating because Reid is so fucking hot. Anyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know if you want a Part 2 ;)

- M xo

(Gif not mine, credit to owner)

Originally posted by hisirishsoufflegirl

Sprawled out on your bed, your naked form was being admired and touched by a handsome man. He glided his fingers up and down the sides of your thighs as he placed sensual kisses on your stomach. “God, you’re so beautiful.”, whispered Spencer. 

Wait what? Spencer? Hold on. Did you just have a wet dream about your nerdy co-worker?

You woke up in your bed covered in sweat as you tried to calm down your flustered state as you panted heavily trying to vaguely recollect the memories of the dream you had just had. It wasn’t a bad dream, in fact, it was amazing. You squeezed your thighs together in hopes of some sort of relief, but all you could do was think about the dream, which made your state even worse.

You sat there in silence as you tried to comprehend what had just happened. You’d been working at the BAU for 4 years now and you had never thought of Spencer that way. Sure he was tall, had gorgeous chiselled cheekbones and never failed to amaze you with his intelligent brain. Oh, God. Here you were thinking inappropriately about your co-worker at 3 in the morning when you had to be in for work at 7. There was no way you were going to act normal in front of him after this strange yet intoxicating image of you and Spencer practically having sex ingrained in your brain. All you could do was try to get back to sleep and hope that the flush would be over in the morning.

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Not in that, you aren’t.

Hi! This is something different. Not requested nor is it DC! I watched Spiderman last night and I am absolutely in love with Peter Parker and I am so glad he has his own movie so I went ahead and wrote an imagine about him! No spoilers though so if you have yet to watch, it’s alright to read this too!

Hope you enjoy this and if you came here for the DC content, do not worry! I will continue to work on the requests as much as I can. That aside, current requests are down to 30+ now so it will not be long until I can open requests again!

[TWO][THREE]


“Peter?”

He freezes the moment he hears his name falling from your lips. It is a habit that is somewhat hard for him to break – reacting to his name.

“Y-you must be mistaken, uh,” He turns to face you, shaking his head.

You frown, momentarily forgetting about the scare you just had as you continue to stare at the very familiar figure of Spiderman. You step forwards and he falters, taking a step back. “You can hide those ears you have, Peter, but you definitely cannot hide that ass of yours.”

Peter stares at you and underneath the mask, his mouth is hanging open and there is a blush on his cheeks – did you just compliment his ass? Somehow Peter is attempting to wrap his around this whole thing. So he tries to play it cool instead.

“I have absolutely no clue as to what you are talking about.” Peter says hoping he would sound convincing enough but judging from the expression on your face, he probably did not sound convincing at all.

“Have you ever considered getting something that will make your voice change its pitch?” You frown, staring straight at him, trying to ignore the fact that in this beautifully made suit, Peter looks extremely lean, fit and sexy. The suit definitely highlights how attractive his body is.

Peter almost stumbles backwards as he laughs humorlessly. “I am not fooling anyone, am I?” He resigns after a few seconds of staring at you. There is that look of determination on your face. Peter knows he probably will not be able to convince you otherwise.

You shrug, tilting your head to the side to fully look at Peter. You had an inkling that he had been Spiderman because of how every single time he disappears, Spiderman seems to appear and there had also been a few instances too but you never really entertained that thought too much. Now that you are standing in front of him, you definitely should trust your gut feelings a little bit more.

“I mean I can’t really say I am speaking for anyone but I pay attention to you, Peter, a whole lot.” Your cheeks flush red the moment you register what you have just said and you open and close your mouth a couple of times. “I probably should not have said that.” You trail off. Of all the times for your brain-to-mouth filter to fail, it had to be right now.

Peter flushes under the mask and he clears his throat. He feels a little bit shy because of your comment. “Y-you pay attention to me?” In hindsight he probably should have just brought you to somewhere safe and then leave you be but now it is definitely too late to regret his life choices.

You nod your head shyly.

“Oh.” Peter rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Yeah.”

The two of you stayed quiet for a few minutes after that, just avoiding each other’s eyes and feeling all awkward and shy. Though in all honesty, the silence is not unwelcome. You are only startle out of the comfortable silence when you can hear the sirens of the police cars in the distance.

Peter heads towards the direction of the sound but pauses before turning back to look at you. “Y/N?”

You look at him expectantly. “Yeah?”

Peter clears his throat a few times before looking at you straight in the eyes. “Would you, I mean, I am not going to force you or anything but would you want to go for dinner, or lunch or breakfast – whenever you are free – “

You immediately place a hand over Peter’s mouth, grinning at him shyly. “Yes, of course, I would love that, Peter. We can go for whenever is convenient with you.” You tell him before realizing that you are covering his mouth. So you quickly pull your hand back and give him a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

Peter shakes his head, trying his hardest to keep calm. “It’s alright, yeah.” He nods his head before turning to look in the direction of the police sirens again. “Do you need help to get down, Y/N?” He asks you as he turns back to look at you and you let out a small chuckle before nodding your head.

“Yeah, I think I should probably let you know now that I am highly afraid of heights which is why I have yet to move much from this spot.” Your knees are literally shaking even though you aren’t that far up in the air. Peter chuckles before nodding his head as he gathers you in his arms – you blush at this – and helps you down from the building.

“Be safe, Spiderman.” You tell Peter just as he releases you gently on to the ground. Seeing as you suddenly have this sudden burst of confidence – Peter is also wearing his mask so it helps – you lean forward to press a kiss on his cheek. Pulling away, you definitely know that your face is most likely red right now. “See you.” You give Peter one last shy look before walking away.

Peter is left standing there, a little bit taken aback by your bold moves but he definitely could not stop himself from feeling giddy and smiling widely. Though his happiness had to be cut short when he is reminded of the crime that is taking place when a police car drove by, flashing lights.

“Uh Oh.”

moonlight [part one]

Summary: James wants to know what she is. || werewolf!bucky x supernatural!reader

Warnings: language (i think) and maybe a little bit of angst, but nothing too major (for now)

Note: I have no clue where this idea came from, to be honest. I think I might make this into a series if you all want me to.

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by multifandomimagines-17

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“She should cut her nails” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The men of the Justice League tease Batman about the scratches on his back, and the love bites on his chest…Bruce is not amused.

Just a silly fic cause why not. Wrote it in literally fifteen minutes because I was bored, and didn’t proofread (as usual really) so it’s quite meh, hope you’ll still like it though :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

I wrote some sort of part two to this, it’s here if you’re interested : “Bruce…sucks !”

__________________________________________________

Bruce could feel their gaze on his back. He knew they were smiling like idiots behind him, and he heard them giggle a few times, like goddamned teenagers.

He finally turned around to face his fellow Justice League members, that had been staring at him for the past hour. They were in the men shower room of the headquarter, and the fact that they were all half-dressed made them look even more ridiculous, with their idiotic smile on their faces.

Hell, even J’onn was snickering with them ! Bruce would expect from Clark, Oliver, Barry and maybe Arthur to laugh like nitwits, but J’onn ? He thought he was better than this.

And yet, here he was, grinning at the Batman like a moron.

-What ?

Bruce asked a bit coldly, even though he already knew what was going on.

Clark answered, a sly smile on his stupid handsome face :

-We were just wondering…When did you got those scratches on your back ? Like, which villain inflicted you such terrible wounds ?

Bruce rolled his eyes. By now, Barry and Oliver couldn’t hold their laughter, though the look the Bat gave them stopped them cold in their track. Damn that man could be intimidating, even for them…Bruce, glaring at them, went on :

-Are you guys fifteen ?

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Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Inferno - Reggie Mantle x Reader Imagine

Warnings: Some swearing, some yelling

Request by @stevrgers:  hey could I request an imagine where the reader has a thing with reggie but it’s super lowkey and reggie wants to keep it that way because he wants to keep her out of the playbook (cause he really cares for her) but the reader perceives his secrecy of their relationship as him being embarrassed to be seen with her by his friends/the school and reader gets upset & reggie is torn cause he wants to tell her about the book but also doesn’t want to get in trouble by the team for exposing their secret

Hope you enjoy it! I’m sorry if it seems a little disjointed. I tried to jam so much into it and it got so long (almost six pages on Word), but here you are!

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Dapper (NSFW)

Originally posted by trycreativitybitch

Eggsy Unwin x Reader

Warnings: Smut

A/N: Had absolutely no fucking clue who to tag in this so I just tagged the usual suspects. Not Marvel, obviously but hopefully you’ll enjoy just the same.


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Shots Fired

Word Count: 2440

Pairing: FBI Agent Dean x Pharmacist Reader

Warnings: Language, Violence, Some Angst, Some Fluff

A/N: Written for @dancingalone21 ‘s funny quote challenge. My quote was: “That attitude right there. That’s why I always got the extra cookie.” Also written for @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms Shit My Patient’s Say challenge. I used a ton of quotes from that one. They’re all bolded. 

A/N 2: Unbeta’d and unedited. Probably a shit ton of mistakes. My bad.

A/N 3: Most/All of the stories in here aside from being robbed (at gunpoint anyway) have happened to me in my career. More than once. Fun times. 


You left your 12 and a half hour shift at the pharmacy over 30 minutes late. Some asshole had decided to wait until 9:00 to come get their prescription filled that they needed right that second. Of course, they’d had the prescription in their hand for over three weeks. Not that you could turn them down. Your district manager would surely find out and chew your ass out for it the next day.

Grabbing your bags and sliding out of your car you realized Dean wasn’t home yet either. Your husband’s Impala was nowhere to be seen. Ever since he’d taken a job as an FBI agent, he’d been working crazy hours too. The two of you barely saw each other anymore and it sucked. Sighing, you trudged into the house and dropped your stuff, kicking off your shoes. You made your way into the kitchen, grabbing all the junk food you could find and a bottle of Captain Morgan before throwing yourself in a heap on the couch.

You were mindlessly watching TV when Dean came home, discarding his jacket and tie before he lifted your legs and sat down, resting your legs in his lap. “Rough day?”

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“The completely eaten bag of chips, the leftover ketchup on the plate where you probably had a frozen cheeseburger, oh and the uh…half drunk bottle of Captain Morgan that was totally full yesterday.” Dean pointed to the bottle in your hand and you rolled your eyes, sarcastically scoffing into the air.

“Good job, detective.

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A Game of Thrones - a rant of sorts

You know, I still see hate for Sansa, for what she did in A Game of Thrones, namely tell Cersei that her father was planning on sending her and Arya back to Winterfell. People hate on Sansa so much, because she thought she was “in love” with Joffrey and they think she betrayed her father. And that she essentially was the reason Ned was killed. #whatthefuckguys #comeon

Well, my friends, let me tell you some things here, that other people have probably said before, but I’m bitter so I’ma do it anyway 😂

First and foremost, Sansa was an 11 year old girl, naive and innocent and full of dreams, raised to be a lady, having drilled into her head that she would marry a knight/prince/king/whatever and have babies and all that jazz. If I look back to when I was 11, I still hoped I would actually turn out to be a princess, so hey, I can relate. When she was faced with the possibility of losing all that, without her mother there, she went to the first person who thought would understand - Cersei, who had, until that point, treated her right. In her eyes, she wasn’t betraying Ned, because she didn’t understand the gravity and consequences of what she was doing, because, again, she was and 11 years old with absolutely no clue as to what was happening behind the curtains.

Secondly, let me present a list of the batshit crazy fucked up decisions that my buddy Ned (an Adult™ and Warden of the North, which was kind of a big boy position) made:

1. He went to Cersei and told her he knew about the lineage of her kids. He made the mistake of assuming Cersei was submissive and scared of Robert. Despite evidence of the contrary. *facepalm* (I mean, Littlefinger showed him the amount of spies the queen had, seriously Ned wake the fuck up; he also knew that Robert made no secret of the fact that he still loved Lyanna and had absolutely zero love for Cersei, which should have made him question “hmmm, I wonder if Cersei is bitter about this”)

2. He refused Renly’s help when it was offered. Renly told him he’d give him 100 men, and advised him to take Joffrey from his mother and keep him as a bargaining chip. Which made fucking sense. Renly knew the workings of the court, knew the people and despite not being the rightful heir to the throne (as the younger brother to Robert and Stannis), he made a fair point (I don’t remember for sure if it was Renly who said it, but the point still stands) that Robert himself wasn’t the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, having taken it by force from Mad King Aerys and the Targaryens. Ned was like “nah my dude, this is dishonorable fuck it”

3. He also refused Littlefinger’s plan. Which again, made fucking sense: recognise Joffrey as king, stand as Regent until he came of age, make peace with the Lannisters, wed Sansa to Joffrey, have Cat release Tyrion and preserve the peace. It would have given him time to come up with a different solution. But nooooooo, this was treason. Well, he also fucked up because he trusted fucking Littlefinger jesus h christ.

I mean, I love Ned with all my heart, but damn boi you stupid

Also, let’s not forget something that Catelyn did. “Something”, I say, as if it wasn’t fucking huge: she captured Tyrion, the only proof she had being a dagger that he owned and that was used to try and murder Bran. By capturing Tyrion, she determined Jaime to attack Ned in King’s Landing and kill his men, and then flee to Casterly Rock to Tywin and thus start the march towards Riverrun and essentially start the fucking war. This determined Robb to call his banners and march towards Riverrun as well, in defence of his mother’s House. All because Catelyn felt that someone who wanted to murder someone else would use a weapon that could very easily be traced back to them. IT STUPID.

Ned’s precious honour killed him. And the actions of his wife. Not what Sansa did. So can we all pls lay off her kthxbye

Dares and Closets (Don’t Mix Well)

Based off a prompt I found on tumblr

Also on my Ao3 account, so no, I did not steal this!

If the prompt owner would like a credit, because I could not find their user, please do contact me! I would love to give credit where it is due for my inspiration of this prompt. If you want me to take it down as well I will do so without complaint.

Langst with a side of truth or dare! Enjoy please!

It was a nice night, calm. No missions for them yet, so it was relaxed. A perfect night for a game Keith guessed. When you put five very bored paladins together, some things happen. Just like this kind of game. Which, Keith really had no clue started honestly. Or who even really thought this was a good idea. A group exercise and a ‘get to know you’ game all in one. All Keith knew, was that was bull, and the game was just strange and humiliating at times. Oh, what was this exact game?

Truth or Dare.

Basically, to Keith’s understanding, the game was ‘do a sexual or humiliating thing, or tell us who you like’. With other things squished in to make it not seem so obvious what information they really wanted. Just stupid random things, whether it was to make you uncomfortable, or make you do or say some plain weird things that would never be spoke of again in any circumstance.

So, it’s what Lance would call Vegas. What happens in the Truth or Dare circle, stays in the circle.

Sitting in together on the floor all the paladins, Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, Keith, and finally Lance. Allura and Coran were just idly observing and during their own work or entertainment while they kept an eye on the young adults. And so far, the game was going fine. Random things happened, like Hunk having to give Pidge a piggyback ride. Keith having to run around the whole facility two times. Dodging the occasional paladins who were stalking him to make sure he ran the whole way and not take any short cuts. Shiro had to stand on his head for so long that he almost passed out. And the things that were forced out of people will never be brought up again under any circumstances. Kinks, are shamed and will forever stay in the closet. Speaking of closets.

Keith watched passively as Pidge gave a sly smirk, he knew what the look in her eyes meant, he was wondering just who was going to be humiliated now. Pidge pointed directly at Lance, who grinned widely as the damning words were spoken. Keith thought it was a little odd, but all of the options he’d picked had been dares. All of those dares were done with absolutely no hesitation. It was awe-inspiring, disgusting, and even a little bit impressive. Honestly speaking, unlike Lance, there was no way in hell that Keith would even let his face get within a foot of the bathroom floor, and there was Lance. Got a dare of licking it. And he freaking did it. He was going to get sick. When that did happen, all Keith was going to say was ‘I told you so’. Maybe get him some cold medication after he admitted fault.

“Truth or Dare Lance.” Lance rolled his eyes, giving a mischievous grin of his own.

“I thought you were smart Pidge? Do you eve have to ask me anymore? Dare, come at me bro.” Pidge grinned widely to match Lance’s own smile. Spinning a random pen in her hands, she pointed accusingly at him again.

“Take the person you hate the most, and lock yourself in the nearest broom closet with them for a whole hour.” Keith rolled his eyes, almost ready to get up and start walking to the closet himself. Ready to get it over with as soon as possible, because no matter how Keith thought of Lance. Sitting in a stuffy, dark, broom closet, was a pass time he wouldn’t even do willingly with his favorite person in the world. Though, Lance wasn’t a terrible person to be stuck with. Better than Hunk, seeing as Hunk was a nice guy, but of a much taller and bigger form than Keith. The only thing that stopped Keith from standing up however was Lance. Who’s face remained stiff like stone, but his eyes held panic at first, until it smoothed over to a blank, dull, blue grey. Unlike the usually fun and joke loving light in his eyes. Lance got up stiffly, and started walking across the circle towards Keith, making the red paladin a little unsettled, especially with that blank look in his eyes. Keith shifted, until the tan, Cuban male was nearly in front of him. Keith held his breath.

But Lance just walked right past him, brushed past him like nothing. Not even a glance back. Just walking straight ahead, blue eyes forward, brown hair shifting with the movement and breeze from the vents. His tan skin was barely visible from his tan and gold jacket and jeans. Feet padding away with small thumps until he was so far away no one could see him or hear the soft footfalls. Shiro had tried to call out to him, maybe stop him. But Lance was never one to hesitant or change his mind. So, it was already too late to go after him by the time he disappeared behind the door. The remaining four just sat and stared for a short while, before Hunk cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.

“Um, Shiro. Truth or dare?” His voice was steady, but it was easy to tell that he was distracted by Lance’s sudden disappearance. Just like it was obvious that he wasn’t the only one as Shiro didn’t even respond to the question at first, only giving a soft ‘huh?’ as his name processed in his mind.

It was pretty clear the mood was dead and the game was quickly falling apart with Lance’s sudden disappearance from the main room. Leaving only an off feeling and a strange silence to replace the light fun. No more licking disgusting floors and laughing at the poor bastard who was dared to do it. Not even any stupid jokes that made everyone groan and call Lance annoying. The game was dead and people were beginning to separate and go off on their own for the night as they realized that. Keith however, was still bothered. Knowing that he should probably just ignore it and go to his own residence for the night, he found himself hesitating and contemplating it in his mind. Then briskly walking past his own room and straight to the room of a certain idiotic male. Finding not even a sigh of life in the blue paladin’s room to Keith’s disappointment. The black haired male bit back a sigh and walked out. Checking the various places in the facility.

Nothing in the kitchen. The commonplaces were completely empty and dark, even the library, still nothing. Though, in Keith’s mind the library had been a long shot. After nearly an hour of searching in every place Keith could think of looking he was ready to give up as he checked the main room one last time before walking away. About to give up and guess that the tan male just wanted some alone time for some reason, Keith stopped as he heard a soft noise. Like a snore or a sigh. That definitely wasn’t his. Keith turned on his heel and looked around the hallway. There wasn’t anything here though, nothing really. Except an old broom closet.

Broom closet.

The closest closet to the main room.

Where they were playing before Lance left.

It didn’t sound right to Keith, to even think of that being a possible thing, but, being thorough was a sign of a job well done. And Keith was anything but half-assed with anything he’d ever committed to do. So, against everything he knew about Lance and his stupid joking ways. He opened the broom closet door silently. Eyes widening in surprise as he saw the exact paladin he had been looking for. Lance’s back was against the farthest wall, in the corner. His legs were loosely bent against his chest, propped up by his shoe clad feet. His arms were splayed against his stomach and his head was lulled to the side. His hair falling messily around his head as if he were constantly running his fingers through it. And with further examination, Keith found his eyes to be closed in his sleep. Puffy and red as if he’d been…

Keith didn’t like the mental image of Keith sitting in the dark and crying. He didn’t like to think of that, Lance, sitting here for the full hour as the rest of them sat in the main room together. Falling asleep in the closet. Not dragging anyone with him, when he was supposed to bring the person he hated the most-

Remembering that part of the dare almost made seeing Lance like this so much worse, because Lance never didn’t listen to a dare. And if he brought the person he hated most into the closet with him; and there was only him in the closet. It spoke volumes that just made it even more depressing to think over. Keith could say that he hated the revelation more than seeing the tear tracks on Lance’s cheeks. A hard level of hatred to beat.

Looking over his shoulder, Keith checked the hallway, before looking back at the usually happy and upbeat paladin and reaching in towards him. Looping one of his arms underneath the boy’s legs, and cautiously wedging the other one between Lance’s back and the wall to get a decent hold on him before lifting him up slowly, and pulling his unconscious body out of the small broom closet. Being mindful not to bang the other’s head on the door frame as he silently closed the closet door with his foot after them.

Trying his best not to wake the other up as he leaned the brown-haired male’s head against his shoulder as Keith carried him. Tightening his grip on the male, Keith took small and smooth steps as he headed towards the other’s room. A frown set deeply on his lips as he let his thoughts wander on the way there. He didn’t know how to feel. Or explain how he was feeling. It was like his heart was in his stomach. He was lightheaded and wanted to collapse to the ground and empty out his stomach. Maybe it’s lodge his heart back into place.

But, he wasn’t going to do that. Not now, not while he was carrying Lance at least. After he had put the other male down it might be free game. It was still painful and sad though, even if he wasn’t acting on the feeling. Keith hated the emotion with a passion. He preferred hearing the blue paladin tell some stupid punchline, or a story that made everyone groan and roll their eyes. Even if they were terrible jokes at least it made the blue paladin look like himself. Being depressed and hiding in a closet with self-hatred wasn’t him. Not Lance.

Was it?

Shaking off the thoughts, Keith ignored them. Instead focusing on taking long strides and making it to the blue paladin’s room without hitting the Cuban male’s head or dropping him. Which was a successful feat, until it came to actually getting them in the door. Being as they were both grown ass men, one in a princess hold, trying to get through a small doorway that was very likely not as wide as Lance’s height, even if he was curled up.

Though, Keith wasn’t a quitter, and five minutes later, both males were in Lance’s room after a lot of maneuvering a limp paladin and inching forward without hitting anything, being too loud, or stepping on a stray object in the room. But eventually Keith was able to flop the other male down onto his bed. The covers were still messily sprawled across the bed, so it was easy to pull them over the sleeping male before Keith stepped away to observe Lance once more, before Keith reached down with a gloved hand and rubbed the tear stains from Lance’s red cheeks and puffy eyes. Keith retracted his hand shortly after. Paranoid of the other walking up as Keith turned away and inched out the door again. Pausing only once to look back before he shut the door to leave the other paladin alone in his room.

“You aren’t supposed to cry Lance.”

And Keith walked away.