I need your help. This weekend I've dealt with terrible allergies, stress from school, and shitty people at work. And out of all of that, the stress of the New Jersey Devils picking Nolan Patrick or Nico Hischier with their 1st overall pick surpasses all of them. Help. What do I do?
HELLO, FRIEND. I, a human disaster of epic proportions, am not remotely equipped to deal with stress. HOWEVER, I am here for you in your time of need!
TOP FIVE THINGS TO DO WHILE STRESSING ABOUT THE DRAFT
ENNA’S GUIDE ON HOW TO PICK YOUR FAVORITE OUT OF THE TWO TOP PROSPECTS:
1) All About The Jersey is the SB Nation blog of the New Jersey Devils, where you can find people who are Similarly Stressed. Also, intuitive debates about who is better.
2) Here are some highlight packages for Nolan:
(also sometimes featuring John Quenneville, current Devils forward! He and Nolan played on a line together in 2015-16.)
Here are some highlight packages for Nico:
I apologize in advance for the shitty music choices.
3) You don’t HAVE to be stressed out about Nico and Nolan! Why not stress about other Devils things, like the multitude of Kovalchuk rumors, or even Shattenkirk rumors, or just this photo of Patrik Elias, which I have been crying over for like eighty years.
Scoot on, Patty. Scoot on.
4) Remember that ZACH PARISE DIED FOR THIS*. ZACH PARISE DIED AND LEFT THE DEVILS SO NOLAN OR NICO COULD LIVE AS A DEVIL. Thank you for leaving, Zach. I forgive you.
*Zach Parise is not actually dead**.
**as far as I know. I’m pretty sure he might be dead inside, though.
5) Here are some ~~fun links about them and the draft!
And, lastly: these gifs, and a few facts that I will leave you with!
gif credit: x
Nolan Patrick doesn’t like pizza, has at least 1 tattoo, once went to a One Direction concert with Wheat Kings teammate Kale Clague, and claims to have the best hair in the WHL, even though his friend Tanner Kaspick cuts it in his basement.
Nico Hischier comes from a soccer family, is going to be the highest-drafted Swiss player EVER, is a big fan of Nintendo games (which he got?? for free??), and once did this interview, where he was asked “how he would stop himself” if he… played against himself? I will let you experience it on your own!! (x)
Good luck!!! Remember, the draft is June 23-24, with the combine coming up soon! <3