i have a slight

be my tc soulmate

who wants to be my true crime best friend? we can talk about murderers and psychology until 3am (with focus on columbine, but not exclusively) every day with memes thrown in for good measure. pls apply within (my inbox) for inquiries. requirements are as follows: don’t be a jerk and also love dark themes and fucked up shit just as much as me. I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU. 😚

ps. i am also very supportive

Playing with Fire pt. 13

Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye

Pairing: Suga x Reader

Genre: Gang AU

Warnings: Blood, violence, death, a bit of a suggestive theme

Other parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

A/N: There are only one or two parts of the story left! It’s taking a bit longer than I expected to get it finished, but I’ve been having slight writer’s block when it comes to this story and BTS! Also, I do not have an updated masterlist yet, but I’m working on it! Anywhooo, I hope you enjoy this even though it isn’t the best! <3


“I’m home!” The deep voice that called from the front door caused for your eyes to lit up in excitement. 

“Mommy! Daddy’s home!” You exclaimed happily, bouncing in your seat as you watched your mother pull out the peanut butter cookies from the oven. They were your father’s favorite, and you had begged your mom to help you make them.

Your father had been gone for two weeks for a business trip, and even though you had face timed him every night before bed, it didn’t keep you from missing him like crazy. Sure, you had been happy that you and your mother got to spend “girl time” together, as she liked to call it. However, you were happy that your father was finally home.

“Go out to him while I put these on a plate.” Your mother instructed, and you wasted no time in hopping off the bar stool and running towards the front door. Your father had just hung up his coat in the closet when he heard your quick feet coming at him.

Turning, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at you.

“Daddy!” You leaped into his arms, neither of you caring that you were covered in flour and various other ingredients.

“There’s my cherry blossom.” Your father smiled and kissed the top of your head. “I’ve missed you.”

His words caused for you to flash him a toothy grin. “We made your favorite cookies!” You were so proud of yourself that you couldn’t keep the surprise to yourself for much longer. 

Your father gasped dramatically. “You did? And where exactly might these cookies be, hmm?” Your father was a sucker for anything sweet, and you knew that he’d be craving something sweet after being away.

"Right here, honey.” Your mother came from the kitchen with the plate of fresh cookies, and you giggled when you saw your father’s eyes widen. He temporarily was distracted by the cookies as him and your mother exchanged a sweet greeting, and you used that to snatch a cookie off the plate.

“Hey!” Your father playfully glared at you and began to tickle your sides, letting you know that he had seen you. “Those are my cookies, you little thief.”

Squealing, you held the cookie close to you to keep him from taking a bite. This continued on for a little bit longer before your mother was cutting in. Her presence was vital when it came to keeping you and your father on track. 

“Alright you two,” your mother’s light tone said over the laughing and teasing. “Let’s get ourselves some milk and put on a movie. Y/N and I have been putting off our Disney marathon until you got home.” 

“Yeah! We wanted you to be here.” You looked at your mother who mimicked your wide eyes and dopey smile before poking your side. All the while, your father just looked at the two of you, completely and utterly grateful for the life that he had been blessed with.

“Ahhh,” you father sighed. “How did I get so lucky, huh?” He asked, his eyes bright and full of love.


Those eyes; the one that had once looked at you like you were a precious piece of treasure were now clouded over with tears and betrayal. They looked at you like you were the one driving the broken bottle into their owner over and over again. Like you were the one committing the crime.

You were completely frozen as you stood there, watching V stab your father repeatedly with no pause or hesitation. You knew that you needed to stop him, but instead your mind was playing back your life, praying that if you willed it, you’d wake up and find out that you were still a little girl. Still your father’s cherry blossom. 

No matter how tightly you shut your eyes, you opened them again and again to the same scene. It was a scene that you needed to intervene on, and it took everything in you to finally say something, knowing that you needed to stop your friend.

“V!” You called, your voice meek and unfamiliar. He was killing your father. Now wasn’t the time to be a doormat. You forced your legs to move, drawing nearer to the young boy. 

“V, stop it!” You shouted this time, grabbing the boy by the back of his hoodie and pulling him away from your father. As soon as he stumbled backwards, your father fell to the floor. Neither you or V said anything, but as the realization of the situation started to settle in, you could hear the sound of your friend’s breathing quicken as he began to panic.

“No-Noona…” V’s voice shook as he dropped the bloody bottle, and it shattered as it hit the floor. Ignoring him, you lowered yourself to your knees in the blood that was pooling out from your father’s various stab wounds. Checking for his pulse brought back a sick sense of deja vu, and your breath caught in your throat.

Lisa.

Just like with her, there was no pulse coming from your father. The man who had gone from loving you to making your life a living hell was dead, and you weren’t sure how you should feel. Relieved? Finally, you were free from his torment abuse. But at the same time though, you were now an orphan. One of the reasons why you never ran away or told on your father was because you never wanted to be put in the system. Yes, he was a terrible and cruel man, but you had a home with him. 

“Noona..” You could tell that V was crying, but you couldn’t help but jerk away from him when he suddenly touched your shoulder.

“You killed him.” You said through gritted teeth, as if he needed a reminder of the horrible crime he had just committed. Every part of you wanted to scream and yell and hit V, but when you heard the heart wrenching sob that he let out, your anger diminished. You couldn’t do this to that poor kid. He had saw someone hurting you and came to defend you.

“I-I didn’t mean to. I just.. I saw him hitting you, and I got angry. I’m.. I’m s-so sorry.” V cried as his back hit the nearest wall, allowing for him to sink down to the floor. “Please don’t hate me, Y/N. Please.” 

As much as you wanted to sit and cry and stress, you knew that you couldn’t. You needed to act. This mess wasn’t going to clean itself up. Nor was V going to pull himself together on his own.

Standing to your feet, you walked over to the boy and crouched down in front of him. His head was lowered causing for his bangs to mask his eyes. 

“I’m not mad at you, V.” You told him reassuringly, brushing some hair out of his face. “How could I be mad when you saved me?” Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Right now wasn’t the time to weigh the pros and cons of your dad being dead though.

It took a few minutes for you to calm V down. You had to keep reassuring him that you weren’t mad and that everything was going to be alright. Once his breathing had evened out enough, you tugged on his hand.

“Come on.. we have to go. I’m sure one of my neighbors heard all the noise and called the police.” It wouldn’t be the first time. Only this time, you dad wasn’t around to make up some bullshit story about how he had the tv up too loud. 

Standing up, you helped V to his feet. Telling him you’d be right back, you ran upstairs and hurriedly packed yourself a small bag of clothes and necessary items. You then put on a jacket, pulling the hood over your hair. Going back downstairs, V followed your lead and pulled his own hoodie over his head before the two of you quickly left the house. There was only one place you could go to now.


Busting through the door to the all too familiar house, V staggered inside. He was breathing heavily from not only all the running but also from the panic of what had just happened. Closing the door behind you, you wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him walk into the living room.

“V!” Jimin shouted from his position on the sofa as soon as he caught sight of the two of you, and the blood that covered the both of you.

“It’s not… it’s not mines… oh God.” V stammered, his face pale as he glanced down at the blood that stained his once white shirt.

“Guys! Get out here now!” Jimin called out as he helped you sit V down on the sofa. Sweat beaded your forehead and you lifted your blood stained hands up to wipe your face, wincing lightly at the pain from your bruises. The last memory you had left of your father.

“What the hell happened?!” Jin’s loud voice rung out as he walked into the living room. At his tone, the other members quickly started filing the living room. As soon as Suga entered, he came to an abrupt halt when he saw V. His eyes soon shifted to you, and he hurried to your side.

His hands rested on your shoulders as he looked you over with wide and rage consumed eyes. “Who did this to you?! What happened?!" 

"V….” You trailed off and looked at V. Not even having to look at you, the boy went on to finish your sentence.

“I killed him.” V spoke, and the air in the room shifted dramatically. Killing must be something that was new to the boys because they all seemed to share the same shocked and worried expressions. “I went to see if she wanted to play and… and I heard him screaming and hitting her. I got angry… I don’t know what came over me.. but I-I couldn’t stop stabbing him.”

“Wait, wait, back the hell up.” Suga said, and you wished more than anything that the floor could swallow you up. You knew what was coming next. “Who was screaming and hitting her?”

V blinked, glancing at everyone in the room before his eyes fell on you. A simple nod of your head prompted him to answer. “Her dad.”

Seven pair of eyes shifted to look at you.

“Wait..” Rap Monster’s eyebrows furrowed, and you could practically see the gears turning in all of their heads as the pieces started to come together.

“Those times you came to school with bruises…” Jungkook mused.

“Your father was beating you…” J-Hope frowned.

Taking a small step away from you, Suga couldn’t hide his expressions. He was angry that your father had been abusing you, but also disappointed that you never told him. Not to mention, he was pissed at himself for not figuring it out sooner.

“My mom didn’t leave because they had marital problems- I mean, they did, but it had more to do with the fact that he was always drinking and hitting her.” You explained to them. “When she finally reached her breaking point, she left without me. So because she wasn’t there anymore… he started hitting me instead.”

“How long?” Suga asked, his face back to its usual stoic expression.

“A couple years now.”

“I didn’t know what else to do. I just… I freaked out and attacked him.” V spoke up again, nervously wringing his hands as he got to the worse part. “I killed him.”

“Shit…” Jin cursed, running his hands down his face.

“We can.. we can just have this covered up right? Everything’s going to be fine, right?” V asked, looking from one boy to the next, needing some sort of confirmation that things would be okay.

“It’s not that simple, V.” Jin hated to burst his bubble, but he had to be honest. “Little things like selling drugs are easy to cover up. We’re talking about murder here… of someone who had nothing to do with my uncle or us.” He stressed. “I mean, I’ll talk to my uncle, but I can’t promise that you won’t have to pay the consequences for this. If not in a jail cell then at the hands of my uncle himself. These kinds of slip ups aren’t handled lightly.”

His answer did nothing to comfort V, and he gripped at his hair desperately as his breathing started to pick up again. You knew that Jin wasn’t done talking, but his words were going to send V into a full blown panic attack. The last thing you all needed was him freaking out and taking off.

“Stop,” you spoke up. “He’s already scared enough.”

“I’m just being honest.” Jin snapped at you, but his glare remained on V. “I’m always telling you guys to be careful. But you just assume that since I know people through my uncle, I can clean up whatever mess you get yourselves into.”

“You think he meant to do this?” You defended V, and you made the irritation in your voice evident so that Jin would shift his glare to you instead. “It was an accident. I’m sure your uncle’s done worse things that he’s had to have covered up. This should be no problem for someone of his status. I mean, I’m sure N could handle this easily. ”

You were playing a dangerous game here, and that was obvious from the surprised look Jin and the other members gave you. You’ve never talked like this to Jin before, and he wasn’t impressed. His look of surprise quickly turned to one of anger.

“What the hell, Y/N?” He replied, his voice escalating as he turned his whole body in your direction. “Why don’t you take the fall for it then instead of talking shit, huh? He was your abusive father. Why should we-”

“Okay, let’s all cool it!” J-Hope was quick to cut Jin off and step in… literally between you and him. “There’s no need for us to start turning on each other. We’ve got enough shit to deal with as it is.”

Scoffing, Jin went and plopped down on the sofa beside V, crossing his arms in discontent. It was clear that he was extremely pissed off, and you’d be lucky if he didn’t try to kill you in your sleep. You were just hoping that your words would make him try hard to convince his uncle to help.

“Until we talk to Jin’s uncle, Y/N should stay here and lay low while the rest of us, even you V, continue on like nothing happened. If we act strange or go into hiding, people will get suspicious. So let’s just act like we’ve got no connection with the situation, alright?” J-Hope asked.

Everyone agreed without any questions and after talking a few more things out, you went your separate ways. Suga said nothing to you as he went into his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Instead of following, you went to the bathroom to take a shower. You needed to clean yourself up, and you figured he needed some time to cool off.

Entering his bedroom after scrubbing away at your skin and hair, you found that he was simply sitting on his bed. Upon hearing his door open, he shot a pointed glare over in your direction. He was obviously still upset.

“Sit.” He demanded after you had closed the door, and you didn’t dare to disobey when he was in this kind of mood. Sitting down beside him, you played with the hem of your shirt. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed before he said anything.

“How could you not tell me about your dad?” He finally asked.

“Because I didn’t want something like this happening.” You figured that much should’ve been obvious.

“Why? He deserved it!” Suga snapped at you, causing for you to wince a little at the sudden volume of his voice. “He was beating you, Y/N. You. His own fucking daughter.”

“I know.. and I know me continuing to live with him and not tell anyone may seem stupid to you, but it wasn’t to me. He was.. the only family I had.” 

You had cried during your shower about the loss of your father, but as you spoke now, you could feel your eyes watering up with tears.

“He may have been terrible and abusive, but I didn’t have anyone but him after my mom left. And vice versa. We only had each other.. so I held onto the hope that one day, he’d see that after everything he made me go through, I was still there and wasn’t going to leave him like my mother did. Then maybe things could’ve gone back to how they use to be.”

It probably made you seem like a moron; holding onto the slim hope that your father would one day see the light and revert back to his old loving ways. You had known it was wishful thinking, but it never stopped you from staying with your dad.

Shaking your head, you wiped furiously at your tears as they rolled down your cheeks. "I know… I’m stupid.”

Wrapping his arms around you, Suga pulled you into his chest and rested his chin on the top of your head. “No, you’re not.” He was quick to reassure you. “I understand why you wanted to hold onto him. I don’t remember shit about my parents other than the fact that they were complete drugs addict. But even still, I’m sure if I would’ve had the choice, I would’ve stayed with them. Even a shitty family is better than not having one at all.”

He use to spend nights thinking about his family when he had first been placed into the system as a kid. Use to spend nights crying because he would’ve rather been with them than in a foster house were he was surrounded by strangers. It wasn’t until he met Jin and the others when that feeling of loneliness became replaced with a sense of belonging and love. Now, with you not having a family, he wanted you to feel those same two things.

“But we have each other, and those idiots out there. We’re a family now.” He said as he pulled away so that he could look at you, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “No more keeping things from me, okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded your head, a feeling of warmth spreading throughout your body. He was right. He was your family. The rest of BTS was your family. 

You weren’t alone, and you never will be.


Living with a house full of boys was something you had to get adjusted to. It was different from the days where you would just come over and hang out for a couple of hours. You were actually living with them now, and there was definitely a difference. While you didn’t have the freedom of just walking around in your bra and underwear, these boys spent a majority of their time shirtless or in their boxers. They were loud, rambunctious, and made messes that you willingly cleaned up after them. You’re use to cleaning and cooking and since they were letting you stay here for free, you figured it was the least you could do. 

They loved it, and even though they didn’t always admit it, they really appreciated you and enjoyed having you around. Especially Suga. He was glad that you were closer to him so that he could properly look out for you. The only times the two of you didn’t see each other was when he was off at school. According to the boys, your father’s body had been found, and the police were  looking for you. No one had seen V going to your house, or the two of you leaving together. So as of right now, your disappearance was being viewed as a kidnapping. Teachers at the school had been questioned about you, along with some students, including BTS since they had been named as seven people you hung out with the most. Of course, they all feigned confusion and shock and passed the blame onto JB and his friends since they had been harassing you lately.

They were hoping it would give them enough time to figure things out with Jin’s uncle who, according to Jin, was extremely unhappy about the situation. However, there was nothing any of you could do but wait for him to come to a decision.

After a day of cleaning, cooking, and then talking to the boys about school, you all turned in for the night. With your dad’s death still plaguing your dreams and the stress of hoping Jin’s uncle would help you and V, you found it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. You drifted off for maybe thirty minutes before you were waking up, your throat dry.

It had taken Suga no time at all to fall asleep and because you knew he was tired, you tried to climb out of the bed as quietly as possible so that you didn’t wake him. Unfortunately, it didn’t work, and his arms tightened around your waist to keep you from going anywhere.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his tired voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna get some water. Go back to sleep.” You answered, and he mumbled something in response before drifting off back to sleep.

Slipping out of his grasp, you peeked into the hallway to make sure it was all clear before hurrying into the kitchen. You were only getting water, so you didn’t see a need in throwing pants on underneath your oversized t-shirt. You were so focused on getting in and out of the kitchen that you didn’t even notice the figure that sat at the table in the dark. It wasn’t until you heard something being slammed down on the table that you jumped and spun around.

“Relaaaaxx, it’s just me.” The voice slurred, standing clumsily to his feet before he took a few steps forwards. 

The moon shined brightly through the kitchen window and when the figure stepped into it’s light, you sighed when you saw it was Jungkook. A red hue tinted his cheeks, and he was unsteady as he approached you. Only a few steps away from you, you could smell the alcohol that emitted from off him. You knew that smell all too well, and you shifted uncomfortably.

“Hey, Kookie,” you greeted awkwardly, tugging on the bottom of your shirt, wishing you had just taken the extra time out to put on pants. It’s not like your shirt was incredibly short or anything, but it did show off a lot of your bare legs. And Jungkook wasn’t trying to hide the fact that he was checking you out. “I see you’ve been drinking.”

“How could I not when you’re soo close to me.. but still so far away?” He sucked his teeth and shook his head. “It…. aahhh.. it makes me sick… you being with him… makes me really fucking sick.”

You knew who he was talking about, but you weren’t going to entertain this. He was clearly wasted off of his ass and spewing out nonsense. 

“I think you should go to bed, Jungkook. You’re really drunk.”

“Only if you come with me.”

Now that caught you off guard. He’s always been rude and sleazy towards you when drunk, but he hasn’t said anything this forward to you ever since you started dating one of his best friends. So you were thrown off by his words.

“W-What?”

Using the fact that he had left you baffled to his advantage, his mouth came smacking down into yours sloppily only a few seconds after you had spoken. You could taste the beer on his lips, and your nose scrunched up in disgust as you slammed your palms on his chest and pushed him away from him.

“What the hell are you doing?!” You asked furiously with wide eyes.

“Come on, Y/N.” The boy grinned, moving back towards you. “I’ll be gentle so you don’t moan too loudly.”

The loud smack you delivered to his cheek was swift and hard. You didn’t think about it, and you definitely didn’t regret it. You felt like the action was more than justified with how much of a disrespectful pig he was being.

Opening your mouth to give him a piece of your mind, no words came out as Jungkook slowly turned his head to look back at you. You could tell that you had enraged him. His dark eyes narrowed at you and without a word, he lunged forward at you, slamming your back harshly into the refrigerator behind you.

“Jungko-” His hand flew to your mouth in the middle of your exclamation, silencing you.

Sighing, he buried his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent to try and calm himself down. “I really like you, Y/N… but you’ve just made a big mistake.”

His hot breath on your skin sent chills through your body, and you swallowed hard as you gripped the sleeves of his jacket. “S-Stop..” You attempted to demand, but your words were muffled by his hand that was still covering your mouth.

Pulling away from your neck, his face was only inches away from yours. “Don’t be scared.” He said, his knee forcing its way between your legs. “I’m gonna make you feel so go-”

The kitchen light flicked on, and Jungkook’s head whipped around to look behind him. From over his shoulder, you could see J-Hope and Suga standing there in complete shock.

“Jungkook, what the hell?!” You heard J-Hope shout.

“What are you doing to her?” Suga was next to holler, appearing by your side in a flash. He grabbed Jungkook by the collar of his jacket and easily threw him away from you. Grabbing your hand, he then pulled you behind him. “Have you lost your goddamn mind, Jungkook?” He seethed.

“Ohhhh come onnnn.” The young boy slurred, not bothered at all that he had just been busted. “Stop acting like you actually give a damn about her and pass her off already.”

Without a warning, Suga punched the male across the jaw before you could even fully process the words Jungkook had spoken. “The fuck did you just say?”

Stumbling into the counter, Jungkook held onto his jaw and laughed. Laughed. “I said pass her off! Stop acting like we haven’t done it before!”

Another punch delivered by your vexed boyfriend had you flinching.

“Suga, wait.” J-Hope went to grab his friend, but the mint colored hair boy pushed him away.

“You better shut the hell up-”

“Why?! Haven’t you told her about Luna?! Or Yoomi?” Jungkook questioned so loudly that other boys started to trudge their way into the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about.

Suga didn’t care that his other friends had arrived at the scene. He took Jungkook by the collar and jerked him closer. “I’m warning you.” He threatened lowly.

Tilting his head to the side, Jungkook’s gaze shifted from Suga to you and then back to Suga. “You don’t actually love her, do you?”

Knowing that you needed to step in before your boyfriend completely lost it, you quickly moved forward before he had the chance to deliver another blow. Placing one of your hands on his arm, Suga turned his head angrily, ready to yell at whoever had touched him at a time like this. When he saw it was you, his features softened at your wide eyes that were practically begging for him to calm down.

“Let’s just go back to bed.” You tried to keep it together, but you couldn’t help the slight tremble of your voice. “Please.”

As much as he wanted to kill his younger friend, he cared more about the kind of effect it would have on you. You just got out of an abusive home. He didn’t want to remind you in anyway of your father.

With this in mind, he released Jungkook and let you take his hand to lead him back to his bedroom, both of you saying nothing to the confused boys who had been woken from their sleep. 

“Y/N, what he was saying-” Suga started to say as soon as the two of you were behind the closed door of his bedroom.

“I don’t care about what he said.” You cut him off, wrapping your arms around his middle to pull him closer to you. “All I need to know is that this is real.” Because if it wasn’t, he needed to tell you that now.

“It’s real. I promise.” He reassured you, his own arms wrapping around your shoulders.

“That’s all I care about then.”


Mother nature had a terrible way of showing up at the wrong times. You were greatly unprepared for the onslaught of cramps and pain that your period brought to you when you had woken up this morning. The boys had already left for school, leaving you to search the house for some kind of pain reliever on your own. Upon finding none, you decided to just take a quick trip to the corner store to buy some of that and also more feminine products.

You had tucked your hair into a black hat and then even put a hoodie and sunglasses on to try and help with your disguise. And you had sworn that it was a great disguise until you were stopped by two police officers on your way home.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N?” One of the officers asked, and you hesitated. Should you lie? Maybe try and make a run for it? You weren’t too far from the house but with the way your stomach was hurting, you probably wouldn’t be able to go far before falling down in pain. Not to mention, there was two of them and one of you, and it probably wouldn’t be wise to lead them back to the house of a gang.

“There’s no reason to be scared.” The other officer said as if reading your mind. “You’ve got a lot of people looking for you, and we just want to take you down to the station and ask you a few questions.”

“About what exactly?” You asked, forcing yourself to stay calm.

“I think you know what it’s about, ma’am.” 

Oh great. You were absolutely screwed.

“We’ve been assigned to your case specifically by Jin’s uncle.” One said in hopes that it might help get you to come along.  However, you honestly didn’t know if you should be relieved or even more worried. It really seemed like Jin’s uncle ran this city. His moles were everywhere. “We just need to get the details of what happened from you. After that, you’re free to go back home.”

Looking between the both of them, you realized that just cooperating would be better than causing a scene. Especially since they were going to let you leave after talking to you. They probably just wanted more details for Jin’s uncle so that he could decide on how he wanted to handle the rest of the situation. “Okay.” You agreed and nodded your head, tightening your grip on the plastic bag that contained your items. 

“Do you want me to take that for you?” One officer asked as they walked you to their car.

Despite your situation, your cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “No, it’s okay. I got it.” You told him hastily before sliding into the back of the police car before he had a chance to say anything else. 

You were just praying that you’d be back home in time before the boys returned from school. If not, you’re gonna be in even more trouble than you’re already in now.

Keith: if you have a problem with how i lead, please just tell me

Shiro: i have a prob-

Keith: i’d rather not hear it

Lance: i have a slight issue with one thing, but here’s how we can fix it!

Keith, whipping out a notebook and pen: go on

9

I really, really appreciated Jared’s thoughtful answer to this question (SDCC 2017) (for @semirahrose, who I know feels the same)

How To Come Out in A Conservative Society

An History Lesson on Ellen DeGeneres and Theories about BTS

First, let me start off by saying that I know this is going to piss off some people. Your precious boys can’t have a bad rumor spread about them, can they? 

Well, fun fact: These rumors about idols have gone on for years, and they still have jobs. The rumors aren’t the problem, because when it comes to LGBT rumors, unlike straight rumors or controversies, Korea readily just accepts them as not possible and so someone can be rumored gay and nothing come from it, unless it was ever confirmed, so again, the rumor isn’t the problem. The lack of acceptance if said rumors are confirmed is the problem, because idols can only work if a company feels they will be able to make money. It is simple economics. If fans are not willing to accept and openly express acceptance, how can we expect a society to? How can we expect companies to feel that their artists have a market? Now I understand Korea has a thing about censorship despite fan reaction. This is a part of the problem, and it is a complicated political setting in which I do not understand and therefore cannot determine the ultimate solution. 

All I can say is this:

Guys, America was not always as accepting as it is now. America did used to be like Korea, and none of the laws for the LGBT were in place. What changed? The people. If you, as fans, are so set on protecting idols that you inherently promote the idea that being LGBT is an issue, even if you don’t mean it that way, you are being problematic to the cause. Discussing it openly allows idols and even companies to see the acceptance among fans, and fans educating other fans about it allows the societies to see the change in the people. You have the power but when you so adamantly push to censor the discussion, you give the power to those who wish to not acknowledge the LGBT. Talking is good, and could really help an LGBT idol feel better about themselves if they are LGBT.

NOW ONTO THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION!

So, BTS wants to visit Ellen. This is very interesting to me, as I have always felt a slight connection of their stories. I have a theory, but you have to actually hear me out to try and understand that this is something legitimate and not just some delusion of grandeur. 

First, how many of you actually know the history behind Ellen?

Well, I am going to assume that a lot of you are younger than me. BTS is younger than me lol. So, in the 90s, Ellen DeGeneres was an American television sweetheart. People loved her. American families watched her all the time. She was really popular. She had her show Ellen, which if you didn’t know, was not the talk show she has now. It was an actual sitcom where she played a character named Ellen. She boldly made the choice ON THE SHOW to have the character come out as a lesbian, and the next day on a talk show, she came out herself.

It was a bold move in the 90′s when LGBT rights were in the shitter. Still, if you look back, she actually was quite clever and strategic. She played the every woman and that’s why families loved her, but you will see hints of her sexuality. She used her medium and talent to subconsciously familiarize her audience with the idea of her being LGBT. It took a lot of work, and trust me, her coming out was not ENTIRELY smooth, but it went quite well. She was one of the few at the time to come out and have her career thrive after. 

She after that managed to have the highest viewed day time talk show that still runs today, a role in one of the most beloved children’s films, Finding Nemo. In fact, a open lesbian having a role like Dory in a children’s film at all was a huge deal. She managed to do all of this and land a deal with JC Penney and Covergirl, and her net worth is 350 million. She even for over a decade remained with her wife Portia, all while her career grew. Sure, along the way there were idiots who condemned her, but most of America loved Ellen.

All from a woman who wore short hair, gender non-conforming fashion, and openly lived as a lesbian in the 90′s. She may not be too shocking to you guys, but she did “look like a lesbian” in what people would have defined (don’t take this as my belief).

How? 

Just being someone everyone can connect to! She was happy and funny and wanted the world to laugh! She showed that LGBT people are just like everyone else. They wanted their rights, and that was all. This is a discussion for an entirely different subject, but I as an LGBT can tell you that while I think people should be accepted and able allowed to behave in the manner they see fit as long as it harms no one, there is value in LGBT who are not defined by the stereotypical “LGBT” behavior and are simply just day by day people who live just like you. Ellen did not over-exaggerate her sexuality’s stereotypical behavior. There is nothing wrong with being flamboyant, but sometimes sadly, the first step to acceptance is to be able to empathize and she was the one to be able to connect to easier, and with time, starting with people like her being accepted, times changed, and now we are seeing acceptances for all forms. It isn’t perfect, and it probably never will be, but it is there. She pushed boundaries, but she did so strategically and it worked for her.

NOW LOL WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH BTS?

Well, if you are familiar with their music, behavior, ethical principles, and the HYYH, then you might see where I am going with this.

Firstly, I would be here for hours if I mentioned all the various moments were they referenced something LGBT or did something related to. There is the Japanese Jungkook fanboy, Glam’s Party XXO, Namjoon’s words about the issue, Yoongi and his fuckery, Troye Sivan ultimate stanning, ‘I Know’ etc, but let me continue with my point.

I feel that BTS are familiarizing their fans with the idea of LGBT within idols. Idols have always had fanservice, and idols have always had ones who professed acceptance. There have even been idols that have hinted towards ideas of LGBT in their art (like Monsta X’s All In) but if ARMYS are correct about the HYYH, there may actually be the first LGBT narrative involving idols (KWill’s Please Don’t featured an LGBT plotline but I am talking about the idol themselves being involved). 

There have been hints that Yoongi and Jungkook within the narrative have a romantic plot. The HYYH Notes give this idea some light. Granted, we could be incorrect, but it does seem to be the case with the narrative text. We will have to see in the future where they take it.The Love Yourself highlights also hint at this. Then, Namjoon’s insistence on Love Yourself: Her being gender neutral. I think this is for a specific purpose as well.

Then there was the photoshoot with Jimin and Jungkook on the same rainbow unicorn float that was used at Korean Pride that same summer. I do not find this coincidental at all. There is a message, and I find that they are trying to send it in a palatable way for fans, which sadly shouldn’t have to happen, but it is the society we live in. There is the fact that they covered a song without changing pronouns, which would be ignored had it not been for the recent Namjoon comments and the fact that the BigHit survey featured more than the two genders. I think they recognize all of this. I think that this is all to familiarize fans with directly associating idol with LGBT. 

They are pushing boundaries, but doing so strategically.

Now, this next part might split some people, because it involves two members together, and I know people get pissy but hear me out. Please note that while you may think I am wrong, if you believe there are other LGBT members, the former discussion still applies.

I think the recent events involving Jungkook and Jimin are not fanservice. They are real events that are used by the two for fans. Let me explain: If they are together, they are spending time together, publicly interacting, and expressing themselves more. They are doing this because they love each other, but this is shown for fans for the purpose I believe of getting fans used to the idea, so that if they did eventually come out, it would not be such a shock. Much like Ellen did. I could be entirely wrong, but I think every moment is genuine and they are just showing it to people they care about to show their love. It can be a gift to fans, but that does not make it fanservice. 

As, I said, take the last two paragraphs away, and my point is still relevant, but I do believe they are utilizing this as a chance for members to come out who would not feel comfortable doing so before. I find at this point in time, the most likely is Jimin and Jungkook.

For sure, Jungkook. I always believed him to be some form of LGBT.

NOW, what does any of this mean? What does the future hold?

Well…

You got me.

If I am correct, and I believe I am, this means that BigHit and BTS will eventually tackle the idea of LGBT head on. I think an issue is with the Korea Unicef program, as it is 2 years long, and Yoongi decided not to get a tattoo to be able to do it, so what makes us think being LGBT wouldn’t be an issue, BUT who knows? They may utilize the fact that they are the current most successful Korean idol artist on a national and worldwide scale to see what can happen. Not changing the language they sing in reaches to their intent for change and being a voice for Korean youth, and utilizing the international fame allows them to bridge the youth they are reaching to with the liberalism of Western media.

The thing is in order to not kill their careers, they have to be big enough to survive it. That is why the first part of my essay is so important. Fans are the key. Our support and votes, and yes, our money, is the key to them being big enough that they are untouchable. That might not ever truly happen but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. If we can have an idol who is LGBT that is as big as them, that can invoke change…

JUST LIKE ELLEN. It takes time. Things didn’t change immediately after her, but damn if life didn’t get more and more progressive. I also credit so many others for that, but this is about them.

Please, take into consideration that I put a lot of thought into this before you brush me off, BUT ultimately this is my opinion. Good Day.