i have a really large file of it and it's just like

A Lesson in Love (Creative Writing)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,547

A/N: The tag list for this story is officially CLOSED. Also, we’re nearing the end of this series. I’d say there’s 4-5 parts left. 

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - Forever grateful for your editing assistance.

Originally posted by thoranda

The sun is out as you walk to your Creative Writing class. It’s a sign that winter is really being left behind, only to be replaced by longer days, warmer weather and an abundance of thriving greenery.

As much of a fan that you are of the freezing season, you’re grateful to see it go. The temperamental radiator in your apartment made your nights especially cold and knowing that you don’t have to depend on that for warmth anymore is a big relief.

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I TRIED

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hold my beer

Ok so this is yet another idea that I will NEVER have time to write (for those that follow my Cross the River one shots, I’m still sorry for inflicting the half finished fics on you haha. But I’m not sorry for inflicting this idea on you

Three words:

Drunk. Ladynoir. Wedding. wait is ladynoir even technically a word?

  • It’s quite a few years into the future and Adrien and Marinette are happily revealed and happily married. Everything’s just friggin peachy
  • One day there is an akuma, a girl who got dumped by a dickhead bf for another girl and then goes on a rampage to show everyone she is ‘good enough.’ After they defeat her, they try to cheer her up
  • Chat, being Chat, thinks that being a flirt will help boost her self-esteem, bc, you know, getting flirted at by a superhero is an ego boost no matter how sad you are
  • Lo and behold, it backfires
  • The girl (lets call her Ada) gets pissed off that Chat is flirting with her right in front of Lady, because “Aren’t you guys like, together??”
  • Chat backpedals, Lady facepalms. No it’s still not official or public that they’re together (keep work separate from home, yknow what I’m sayin, and besides, it’s unwise to let Hawky know the full extent of how much they care for each other because they don’t want to be emotionally manipulated in battle)
  • The girl is like “shit I thought you guys were like.. the perfect relationship. Obviously not. If even you aren’t together, then where’s the hope for me…. sighh….” :’(
  • Ada is so upset that they decide to let her in on a little secret. That in their civilian lives… they are married
  • Ada is all,  :’D omg seriously
  • (^..^) and >(:-:) are like, yeah, but dont tell anyone. It’s a secret. ((SLAPS YOU WITH HEAVY-HANDED FORESHADOWING)) Hey I know what’ll cheer you up, Ada. Lets go out for drinks!
  • AND SO MY FRIENDS, that is how Adrien and Mari end up spending a night on the town with a recent akuma victim as Chat and Lady…

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“Seventeen Days” (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Fantasy/College AU)

Summary: An angel from heaven is sent back to Earth to prevent college senior Bucky Barnes from ending his life. But here’s the catch - she only has seventeen days to do it.

A/N: from this point on, i’ll be doing an extended author’s note at the end of every chapter so i’m not ruining the chapter in this note. tags have been kooky with me, but the tagging list for this story is still open! -j. x

“Seventeen Days” (Masterlist)

He easily pulls you up onto your feet in a fluid motion. “Hey, sorry about that. I wasn’t looking where I was going,” he apologizes.

“Oh no, I’m the idiot looking at my phone and - oh, thank you,” you beam as he bends over to picks up both your phone and suitcase for you. You suppress the appreciative sigh bubbling up your throat as you get a good view of his butt.

Thank you, indeed.

“Why are you lugging around a huge suitcase in the middle of the -” He pauses as he catches your expression of admiration. “Hold up, were you just checking out my ass?”

Rapidly blinking doesn’t help your brain come up with an excuse, so you own up to the question with a sheepish shrug. “Sorry, but it’s a really nice ass,” you confess. “You must do, like, a million squats a day or something.”

A pleased look crosses his face. One hand goes on his hip while the other coquettishly bats the air. “Stop, girl. You’re making me blush,” he unabashedly grins.

Outstretching two thumbs-up, you flash him a radiant smile. “Whatever you’re doing, continue it,” you encourage. “And sorry to bother you, but could you tell me where Pym Hall is? I was looking at the map on the school app, but it’s -”

“- Really small, like it’s made for ants, right?”

Your jaw slightly drops while your eyes arch upwards. “Those were my exact thoughts!” you exclaim with surprise.

“Good to know I’m not the only one who hates the map,” he chuckles. “Pym Hall is just across the quad. It’s the second building with the statue of the lion.” He pauses, his eyes dropping to your huge, green suitcase. “I could take you there if you want.”

“Oh, you really don’t have to.”

“Pym Hall doesn’t have any elevators.”

The polite rejection you’re about to deliver stops at your throat as you recall your room is on the third floor. A sheepish smile curls up and you push the suitcase his way. “I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, no problem. I have nothing better to do, might as well help out a pretty girl,” he winks.

Are all Earth boys super nice? With a smile big enough to light up a city, you hold out your hand, enthusiasm glittering from your eyes. “I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N), by the way. I’m a transfer student.”

He grabs your hand and energetically pumps it up and down. “Sam Wilson, at your service.”

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Playbook Drama: ReggiexReader! Oneshot

hey pals! this oneshot is a combination of requests from a few people, though the basis of the fic was from a prompt sent in by @el-mccall. so thanks for those reqs! hope ya enjoy, and please leave any feedback in my ask!

Summary: Reggie is reluctant to tell people that you are dating after the playbook saga, but decides that he doesn’t care anymore and so makes it public. Kinda cute and fluffy.

Warnings: Swearing.

Originally posted by riverdalesource

(i love ross butler as reggie fuccccckkkkkk)

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I’ll Be Good - Part 22 (End)

Masterlist -  Series Masterlist  -  Part 21

Summary: Series - You’re an old colleague of Natasha’s who finds herself face to face with the Winter Soldier on the wrong end of an Avengers’ op. Chapter – Your future after the dangerous decision you made on the rooftop, and an unexpected glimpse into your past when Natasha peaks into the file she found.

Warnings: swearing, violence

Word Count: 3911 (welp I didn’t even try to keep this short… Oh well.)

Author’s Note: I cannot believe this is the end!!! Bittersweet! I’m not 100% sure how I feel about the file piece… But I’m just going to go with it. Maybe one day if inspiration strikes I’ll revisit that part in another way… teeny sequel or something, I don’t know. Anyway, hopefully this gives everyone closure and you enjoyed reading my first fic! Yay!

For the second time in the few months since you’d first run into Natasha again, you woke to a screaming pain radiating through your shoulder as you returned to consciousness. The steady beeping of the heart monitor increased as you became more aware of the pain crying out all over your body.

Your side continued to ache where the Commander had slipped his slender knife between your ribs, but now the pain radiated over your torso with every breath. A dull ache rippling beneath a pattern of deep bruising. Exhaustion held an entirely new meaning. Every muscle ached when you slowly tried testing a few of them, checking for mobility. Finding yourself mostly free you tried to will yourself to move, hoping that if you sat up more, the shrieking pain in your shoulder would subside.

As your eyes fluttered open, Nat immediately jumped up from her chair in the corner, silently stepping closer, her sharp eyes flashing over to the crumpled form beside you. You glanced down to your side to find Bucky, dead asleep, a mess of tangled dark hair covering his face and creeping over your blanket. His head rested on crossed forearms beside you on the hospital bed and you bit back a small grateful smile, knowing how exhausted he must be. It was clear from the thick scruff on his jaw and the fact that he could fall asleep in such a precarious way, that he hadn’t left your side, not for days.

Days. You’d been here for days…

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College Comparison and Application Checklists

Hi guys! As an obsessive spreadsheet maker, I am constantly using Excel for EVERYTHING, including when preparing to apply for college. I’ve just been told that, for once, the spreadsheets I made for comparing college options and organizing my application checklist are actually helpful, so I’m here to share them!

The first can be used for initially comparing and deciding which colleges you are interested in and the second can be used more as a checklist to see if everything has been submitted or completed.

To make things convenient, I’ve made them available in Google Sheets, from which you can copy to your own Google Drive or download as a Microsoft Excel file! They are also both editable so that you can add or remove categories and compare what’s important to you. Colleges are not one-size-fits-all, so feel free to edit the spreadsheets to cater to you. As a quick example, I’ve used Harvard to demonstrate what each category is for, but you can use it however you see fit. Since I personally have not looked into Harvard, the examples used are not the most thorough, but they should still provide a general idea.

**DISCLAIMER: I am still in high school and have not yet applied or gone to any colleges/universities. I am no expert on college admissions and do not know everything about finding and selecting the perfect college. Please keep this in mind. Any constructive feedback is welcome!

College Comparison Spreadsheet:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1AVSidBtOpGOHafgkHVeKYSL0ceyaSZvx2VNzIG3uZTc/edit?usp=sharing

College Application Checklist:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ncT6dwddihoQOLsW17c6wZuXXqrp5F4hIqPWnop5M7M/edit?usp=sharing

To use, click on the link, go to “file”, then either click “make a copy” and save to your drive or click “download” and then whatever format you want. A guide to using each is below the cut. Happy college hunting and good luck!

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Buckle Up

Buckle  Up

1: “Its midnight! Where the hell were you?”
2: “Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight!”

This was a normal routine recently. Him disappearing in the evening and wouldn’t make it until in middle of the night, when his lovers head would already be resting on his side of the bed. Snuggled up in one of his overly sized plain shirts. Lace panties, a noiseless signal of what could have happened the night if he had just shown up.

Hair done just the way she knew he adores, clipped and sprayed in place.  With a bare face, because she finally felt at peace with the fact he loves her without it. Because him constantly assuring her that he loves her without anything, had finally jammed through the crakes in between her skull to her brain.

And yet he was a no show, even after the countless texts sent his way to remind him of the special day, the special day that she had organized to the last nano second. Dinner, followed by a movie she knew he loved- even tho she could count a hundred and three other things to do then watch it- with wine trailing behind, which would only of course lead to them together in their shared room.  

She even texted Chris, to make sure Chris knew of their plans and wouldn’t bombarded them with surprise plans- she knew Sebastian couldn’t decline an offer from one of his brothers he only got to see on rare occasions. She was always his second choice, probably always would be…

Her soft hiccups echoed throughout the four walls, it wasn’t her fault they had drifted apart. Work, work just got in the way. It wasn’t her fault Sebastian had to take Elizabeth to the banquet as his date and not his girlfriend, because work had kept her three hours extra. It wasn’t her fault Sebastian had decided that praising some other women’s cooking then her owns, she never had that much time to cook for him, not that she should be forced… it wasn’t her fault.

She turned around, sleeping on her back. Her pupils drifted from one figure on the wall to the next, she needed a distraction.  Something to take her mind off of him.

She stood up, walking with a pitter patter rhythm to the master bathroom.

Washing her face, she dried it with the paper towels perched up in its place, before walking out to the kitchen. She at least needed to get something in-

She froze in place, all the blood in her body going raw. Sebastian was opening the lock. Not knowing how to confront him, she bolted it back to their bed room, but it was too late. Sebastian had already opened the door.

“Hey beautiful.” He whispered, probably because the next door neighbors had filed the second noise complaint. “What are you still doing up?” He asked, carelessly taking his combat boots off, then his coat followed suite. He ran his fingers through his hair when he turned around meeting his lovers eyes.

“Hey,” She croaked, she didn’t know what to do. He had basically stood her up and didn’t seem quite bothered by it.

“I’m so thirsty.” He complained walking into the open kitchen, coming to a slow stop once he saw the dinner table transformed into a five star restaurant. The table was covered in red cloth, the decorative design looked like it was hand picked, as the edges were half circles with a red candle melted half way through, two plates that were filled to the brim with food now half eaten, as well as forks and dull knifes sat parallel to each other- albeit had some food particles decorating the silverware. Wine glass and half drunk bottle nestled into a woven basket. “What’s this?” He asked, turning around pointing to the set table.

“Anthony came over and we just… yah.” She lied, her words strained and forced. “He was loads of fun.” She continued, memories of her stress eating the food came flooding her mind.

“You cooked for Anthony?” Was the only thing to come out from between his chapped lips. As he turned around. A glass of water forgotten. “You’ve never cooked anything for me-”

“Why are you-?” She choked, her voice weary.

“What else happened,” Rubbing his hand over his face, Sebastian moved closer to (Y/N) her warm brown chocolate orbs stared right back into his dusty royal blue ones.

“Nothing.” She answered curtly.

“Nothing?” Sebastian scoffed, giving her a one over, his white plain shirt giving him perfect view of her red lace bra and panties, “Nothing?” He repeated, more aggressively. “Nothing?” He chanted, grabbing his shirt and pulling it up harshley to take a glimpse of her panties- just in case his mind was playing tricks on him. “Nothing?” He questioned, letting her shirt go, she stepped back in fear. He was a big man, wide and muscular, anything he did when he was angry had always sparked fear under her heart.

“I said nothing Sebastian!” She hollered back, pushing him away from her as he advanced to get closer to her.

“Nothing? That half eaten bread says something happened!” He pointed to where he would only assume Anthony had sat and eaten, “Those half filled wine glasses sure say something happened.” He laughed bitterly, running his hand through his hair walking back and forth trying to adjust to the news. “Hey, come back here I’m not done talking to you!” Sebastian wolfed, walking past his retreating girlfriend. “I said-”

“Its midnight! Where the hell were you?” Sporting an angry voice didn’t only seem fit for Sebastian. She whipped around, her voice and breathing raised an octave.  

“W-what?”

“Its midnight! Where the hell were you?” She repeated, he stood star struck, why was she angry with him? His girlfriend just had dinner in his apartment without his knowledge- and god knows what they did together alone.

“I was out with Elizabeth-”

“Of course you were.”

“The hell are you complaining about, you had dinner with one of my friends-”

“Your an eye sore.” She complained, “Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight!” Like that the young brunet walked faster to their shared apartment, going strait into their closet and pulling a change of cloths for him. “Come back tomorrow for the rest.”

“You do realize that this is MY apartment…” Sebastian barked, pushing his spare cloths back on the ground from her hands.

“Fine then I’ll leave.” She answered. Pushing his large frame away from her. If anything, the man before her gave her an unsettling feeling at the moment. She had never felt unsettled around Sebba. As a matter of fact, she always found refuge in between his open arms, and solace when their lips molded together.

Pulling her back, Sebastian glared into her eye, “The hell happened with Anthony?” Seb roared while shaking her shoulders with each of his words.

“Nothing you idiot!” She slapped him away from her, shoving him to the side, “Because I lied. Anthony was never here! That dinner table was set for your sorry ass, but no, Sebastian Stan was way two busy hitting it off with Elizabeth Olson.” She grabbed her phone and wallet from table beside the door. Quickly shutting it once she grabbed her slippers and ran down the stairs. Sebastian hot on her trails.

“(Y/N)!” Sebastian chocked, as he tried to run after her. “It’s not what you think,” he whispered, watching as her retrieving figure disappear into the shadows of his apartment complex.


“-What about your relationship, how’s (Y/N), I believe that’s her name right?”  The press never had proof that she was real, that she really was dating the Sebastian Stan. They only knew her when Sebba would accidentally let a few words slip without having much time to think about them.

“She’s doing fine,” He rubbed his thighs before looking back at the reporter.

“Is she watching you right now?”

“I doubt it.” Stan laughed, thinking of other things you could possibly be doing by now.

“How would your cast describe your relationship?” The reported pressed, leaning the mike to Elizabeth who was practically giving it away that she knew something.

“Just last week he bought her a promise ring!”

“Elizabeth, please don’t-”

 "She wouldn’t mind,“ Olson assured shushing Sebastian up. "He bought her this infinity blue gem promise ring, we had to spend days together to just find the right one.”

“Wow, your really serious.” The male reported chuckled. Looking back at Olson, as she nodded her head like crazy.

“You wouldn’t even believe it.” She continued on, “We’ve been ring shopping for almost two months now!” Elizabeth giggled, “I’m surprised she didn’t think something happened.” Olson nudged Sebastian to the side, “Don’t  you want to say something to her?”

“Uh…” He broke under pressure. Especially if one of them was a lie he kept from all his crew members. It’s almost been a week since she disappeared on him. No trace no nothing. He texted about a hundred times a day, left voice mails endlessly. Even tried to call her mother, but apparently she didn’t pick up. As if matters couldn’t be worse, when he drove the eight hour road to go to her moms place, the new owner of the home said the former people who lived here had moved out a month ago prier to this day. “Call me,”

“Well, this is all we have for you, up next Chris Evan-” The TV went dead silent, a small mist of a rainbow left as the residue of colorful screen turned off. She looked behind her, her mother bringing a cup of coffee.

“So, how’s Sebastian?” Her mama asked, sipping her tea. “I’m really sad he couldn’t make it.” Her mom grumbled. “Was really looking to see him again, such a sweetheart.”

“Yeah,” The young lady sighed. Grabbing her phone and going to one of the many missed phone calls he had left. “He’ll be here soon.”

“Oh I hope, dear.”

A/N:

Requested by: 

Master list: 

The next ones are going to come out sooner :) 

this was requested by @iadorenewtmas im so sorry for the long ass wait, i hope this met your needs. tell me otherwise. 

Tag List: @coffeeismylife28, @archer-whovian-violinist, @heismyhunter, @fandommaniacx @smilexcaptainx @themistsofmyavalon @flibertigibbet23 @gingerbatchwife if i missed you please let me know :)

The Persuasion Show

Written by Yours Truly, ask-sadisticdark. I have promised a story at 1,000 followers, and here we are! I am ever so glad that you all decided to remain with me, a blubbering and rambling mess of a Figment. Without further ado, here we begin.

WARNING: This story details a stressful situation with mild (very mild, only mentions of blood), mocking, and vulgar. If this does not appeal to you, I urge you to not complete this story. Thank you.


The night never used to effect you.

For some points in your life, you never even noticed the change of the day. The computer screen blaring its blue light right into your eyes made it hard to realize that at some point, sunlight failed to gleam its way past your window curtains. But things change.

And your fears changed with them.

Darkiplier’s return hadn’t struck you much when it first occurred. You had been excited and enthralled by the momentum of it all, but there was no true fear. But as it was said… things change. And things changed very drastically on one particular blustering, lonely night.

You remember it vividly. It was dark, the wind was crashing like tidal waves against the panels of your house, but you paid almost no mind to it. It’s desperate warning howls against cold and bitter air never seemed to register its way into your head. You were busy, far too busy, to listen. Instead, your attentions were eagerly set upon one particular youtube channel, and to one particular youtuber, who’s smile and stubble always seemed to burn a piece of you even brighter. Every time his video started, your entire body always relaxed. Every time his voice rolled from the speakers of your computer, you were already fixated.

“Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome-”

Another horrible gurgling sound of the wind smacking against the tree branches almost drowned out the sounds of Mark speaking. But you were determined to listen, you were an avid lover of the Subnautica series, after all. It started as usual, Mark had his character standing out into the empty abyss of the sea, looking towards the horizon and blabbering his thoughts about his loneliness and plans to rebuild a base somewhere deep underwater. And you loved every second of it. You loved his goofy childish fear of the creatures bellowing from beyond. You loved his ambitions and truest, deepest, desire to learn more about the secrets hidden bellow ocean waves.

That is when everything went horribly wrong.

It was about ten minutes into the video. Mark had his Seamoth floating into the endless chasms of the trenches of the deep, darkness surrounding him, eery music screeching beneath his words. There was an abrupt beeping sound that sounded much like a computer error note, and the youtube video was cut off, glitched into place in the midst of Mark’s opening mouth.

The sudden file that abruptly popped up in the center of your screen made you jerk in your seat. Leaning back after realizing how closely you had been leaning, your eyes stared upon the digital manila envelope that sat right smack in the middle of the youtube video, innocent but very, very odd. In bold black letters beneath the folder, it read

“Read Me.”

Instead of feeling fear, you scowled in annoyance. Damn bots and their malware. You quickly clicked away from the envelope, and it brought you back to the youtube screen, where you were able to begin the video again. In just mere moments, you completely forgot all about that strange, random digital file.

Mark’s humorous statements, and the surprising calm of the wind battering the window pane, caused you to begin relaxing again. When the loud bling sound arrived for the second time, only about five minutes after deleting the first file, you almost gave a gasp in surprise. The file, in all its small digital glory, popped back up onto the midst of the computer screen, sitting patiently, quietly, unassuming. But the words bellow had changed. In that same bold font, rigid and black, it read;

“I Said Read Me.”

This one caused your attention. This one, you could feel, caused for your stomach to awkwardly flutter in a mixture of nervous curiosity. This was definitely no malware, no bot had ever sent another message after being declined with such demand. Your hand on the mouse, suddenly becoming slightly slick, slowly pulled the cursor over the file, highlighting it in preparation to click. But you hesitated.

What if this absolutely fucked up your computer? Implanted a virus or some type of device to stalk you while you slept. You had heard of the stories before, those horrible nightmarish instances where someone was kidnapped by a freak viewing them from their computer screen…. But this felt… different. Somehow, this felt… safe. You had no explanation as to why, and you rarely ever trusted your judgement. But without another pause, you tapped the file to beckon it open.

The file disappeared, and into another quick moment, a blank empty page took its place, only taking up about half of the screen in a small rectangular shape. The page, in same bolded black, only read a few words.

“Mind Or Body?”

And beneath those words were two empty boxes, one with an M beside it, and the other with a B. They were waiting to be checked.

At this point, you were beyond puzzled. What did the question even mean? Was this some sort of advertisement? It couldn’t have been, advertisements were never ones to be mysterious. They immediately wanted you to know their name and they motives. This was just… bizarre.

“Mind Or Body?”

You removed your hand from the mouse, and slowly rubbed the cold and sweating fingertips of yours across your cheeks, desperately trying to understand what it was initially asking. Was it based off attraction? Perhaps that was it… intelligence or beauty, perhaps, was the underlying cause. You had to assume so, because it certainly wasn’t giving any further clues.

Your tongue clicked against the roof of your mouth, scowling in an attempted concentration as a slow breath drew from you. On top of trying to discover where this file had come from, and why, you were also trying to choose between the two options.

What did it matter, really anyway? What type of strange poll was this, and how did it affect anything?

In a fit of “I don’t care”, you wiggled your cursor across the screen before randomly choosing one of the options. You think you ended up clicking on Body, but you weren’t completely sure.

The page disappeared in a silent blink, leaving the canvas of the youtube page up to its fullest colors. But despite the eagerly awaiting adventures that were going to occur in the deep, you failed to start the video again. You merely stared, blankly, unseeing of the bold red outline of the webpage. You were too intensely in thought, and too intent on finding out what that file had exactly done to the likes of your computer.

You ran a malware check, a virus check, and a few treatment diagnostics, almost certain some type of disruption surely had made its way to the database. But, the computer seemed certain that all was well, as certain as it was that it couldn’t find the source of that file, or the history of its appearance.

Satisfied, only partially, that all was well, you shrugged off the experience and assumed that whatever poll you had just taken was going to some sort of research facility, somewhere in the world. A strange, mysterious, unknown facility, but a facility nonetheless. Your hand fell upon the mouse again, and you moved your cursor across the screen in order to reopen your page again.

You only got about half way.

The entirety of your screen froze, or at least, that’s what you could determine. No matter how aggressively you swiped your mice across your desk, around in circles, back and forth, zigzagging and cursing under your breath, the white little cursor simply remained stuck right in the center of your computer screen.

“Dammit you stupid lagging piece of trash.” Your voice growled in disdain as you lifted the mouse in your hand, beginning to twist it to check and see if anything had blocked off the sensors down bellow. It was then that the familiar, horribly familiar, bling from the computer resounded in your ears again.

Your eyes lifted back towards the computer before you, and there, in the center of the computer, directly bellow the cursor with the same cream manila envelope, was another file.

“View Me.”

You were unable to move the cursor in order to hover over the words, the entirety of your screen had obviously completely crashed. So, in one last effort, you pressed your finger against your enter button. The file glitched into uneven shreds, ditching across the screen as a scratching noise, like fuzz and screeching nails, echoed in your ears for a moment or so, before all was quiet again. Calmly, a much larger rectangle assumed its place, but it was empty, and black, and a small play button sat in the center. It was a video. It began playing with you urging it to start.

The scene it faded into caused the depths of your chest to rise into your throat.

The dark concrete room was barren, lacking substantial light and seeming to be aged and worn. Deep cracks were in the floor and wall that connected together. Dark stains, mud or… blood… or whatever else… were randomly splattered against the surface. You could almost smell the musky scent it most certainly wafted.

A man sat directly in the center, head drooped lowly, the black raven tresses of his hair cascading over half of his face. The chair he sat in was large, awkwardly large, metallic and rigid and surely not comfortable. You could see that his eyes were closed, but it lacked anything that would describe that he was peaceful. His hands were stuck awkwardly behind his back, elbows protruding outward enough to make you believe his wrists were most likely bound.

“Mark…” The words barely left you, your voice was having a difficult time being used. What in the hell was this? Why were you being shown something like this? What did it mean?

You were desperately attempting to process the horrid display, when suddenly they entirety of the scene jostled and wiggled, blurring the figure in front of you. Someone was adjusting the camera pointed in Mark’s direction.

“Mmmmm….” There was a light growling sound in the depth of an unknown figure’s throat, whoever was behind the scene. Behind the camera. Behind all of this mayhem you were looking upon. There was a few more seconds of jostling and incoherent muttering, before there was a loud click, and a sound of praise.

“There we are.” The voice was rich, flowing and gentle, almost calming if any different situation was occurring. A man, burly and tall, surprisingly pale, strode into the view of the camera.

You suddenly realized just how thirsty you were. All you ever wanted, at that moment, was a tall glass of water.

Dark turned himself around in order to burn his gaze into the camera lens, staring directly into you with a smile that arched unnaturally. His arms that lay at his sides swung out, beckoning in a gesture of prideful welcome.

“Lovelies, ladies and gentleman, one… and all. I am most pleased to find you here with me. Welcome, all of you, to my first ever, official, Darkiplier episode.” Dark clapped his hands together and hugged them close to his chest, snickering and smiling in a giddy fashion.

“It took quite a bit of effort, I must admit. Days worth of planning, aggravation, sweat and tears and blood, quite literally, in order to make this possible. I set up the scene, of course, with the skills that I wield. But the final piece, the final push to truly… get this episode rolling, was something I required from you.”

Dark stood directly in front of Mark’s body, who remained unmoving, locked in some type of trance, or fretful sleep, looking like a long passed mannequin. Dark didn’t even seem to notice Mark’s existence, his entire attentions focused to the screen, and he continued talking.

“All of you received a poll, just minutes ago. The question, as I’m sure you all can recall, was ‘Mind or Body?’ Did any of you ponder what this may entail? Hmm? Did any of you suspect any ill will when you responded? Well, whatever curiosity you have faced in these last few moments, my friends, it will finally be quenched. Your responses determined the actions that will be bestowed upon my perfect little subject here with me, today. Some of you may know him from his video channel, some of you may have no recognition of him. I simply call him Mark.”

Dark stepped to the side only slightly, and twisted his shoulders to show off the shadowed figure of poor empty Mark, hanging in his seat.

“Perhaps ‘The Little Wench Who Ruined My Existence’ would suffice as a more suitable nickname, however. Don’t you agree, Mark?”

After another pause, he turned back, and jerked his hands against the hem of his vest, straining the fabric. He continued as if he hadn’t interacted with the unconscious man at all. As he did, his smile shifted, only slightly, something laying beneath his skin that grew darker, less friendly. He seemed to be staring directly into you, and you alone.

“Some of you may believe that this is for Mark alone. But you would assume incorrectly. Don’t you see? I tried to play nicely. I tried to be the wonderful, perfect Figment they all assumed me to be. But still… you doubted. Adoration turned into comfortableness. You all became fearless of me. You sought me out because you thought I was fUnnY, OR cuTE, or soMEtHING to brINg you AMUsemenT. You all believe that I am…. am incapable….. of what I KNOW…. I can do. You all believe that I am weak, pathetic, and that I am simply some… imagination. Some… tHinG. Well… I am here to remind you, Lovelies, that I am not some wandering decision. I am a concrete REALITY. And now… well… I will prove. What I. Am capable of.”


TO BE CONTINUED?


Oops! I may have not completely fulfilled my promise. Did I fail to mention I would only be providing HALF of the story at 1,000 followers? How disappointing. It must have slipped my mind.

Do you desire part two? Perhaps I will continue at 1,500. Or perhaps not. We’ll see where the wind takes me.

Mr. Min - Chapter 02

Description:  Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual.  Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook

Genre: Smut and Angst

Word Count: 9872

Warning: Dom!Yoongi, light breath play, cum play, punishment, demeaning names, inappropriate table manners

Prologue - Ch 01 - Ch 03 - Ch 04 - Ch 05 - Ch 06

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extension line

standalone; nc-17; msr; SMUT, seriously smut, angst, hurt/comfort; set-post Paper Clip pre-Piper Maru; prompt was “phone sex”. This is phone sex.

A/N: Last time I told people not to read something in public I got a bunch of folks reading it at work. But hey this is heavy NC-17. Don’t read it in public. Or do I guess I can’t tell you want to do. 

A/N2: I told myself I wasn’t going to post this this week because I didn’t want to detract from my very unsexy casefile fic. I’m compromising with a shameless self-promotion. Cool off by reading my casefile! 

***

He can’t move without knocking over paper. Open files surround him, stare him down and tell him: You are a sad, sad man. Photos of UFO’s, stark white specks on grainy backgrounds – cones, saucers, the trapezoid (spotted only once in 1947 on the coast of Indonesia by a Dutch tourist drunk off Bintang), domes and disks and winged cigars and his personal favorite, but most implausible: the mothership. Scully would tell him Mulder, you’re crazy. And maybe she’d smile a little, tucking it into her fist like there’s a chance in hell he hadn’t picked up on it immediately. But maybe that’s more implausible. The last time she smiled at him he had to literally come back from the dead and hold their boss at gunpoint. Dana Scully is tough to please.

Her sister’s file sits on the coffee table – his copy of it, with the frenzied pen marks and the filled out margins and grease stains where he’d been eating and forgotten to wipe his hands. He’s… technically not supposed to have this. They won’t mark it as an X-File. Shoddy agents doing shoddier work with no clue to what goes on in smoke filled rooms are being tasked with, trusted with, the gravely important feat of bringing justice to Melissa Scully and thereby bringing some goddamn peace to one Special Agent Dana Scully, M.D.

He is tasked with being the bearer of bad news.

In the cosmic light of his fish tank he tries to think about space and nothing else. The mothership last seen in Cartegena Colombia –the city that founded Miss Colombia –did not seem to abduct anybody – was just cruising around – all the cows were okay. And don’t call her she’s at a conference wait until she gets back.

He knows, he knows she is definitely a ‘rip the bandaid off and all the skin with it’ kind of girl. Takes hits stronger than the Federal Reserve. And this isn’t the worst news, her sister can’t die again, but shit. She’s been so… off lately. So angry and unpredictable. Which he likes, just a little, because he is seriously messed up and thinks he’s probably always needed a friend who also lost a sister to an interminable maze of government conspiracy in space and hates herself for it. There is absolutely no doubt in his mind that she does, and it destroys him. He gets it, he lives it every single day of his pitiful life, but he cannot bear to see it in her. He just can’t. It’s like watching your hero die of a horrible disease or a slow motion car crash or the sun dying out right before your very eyes. And yes, it’s possible he has her on some kind of pedestal.

Don’t call her, he repeats to himself, a warning and a mantra. It’s a little funny, because he thinks about calling her pretty often now, tragic details about murdered siblings aside. She’s hilarious and throaty and way more willing to talk to him about his favorite science fiction technologies at night, way more willing to weigh in on whether they’ll actually be possible in the near future. On the phone she is wearing sweaters with her hair pulled back drinking a glass of wine and thinking only about what’s going to happen when she sees him in the office tomorrow, where they’re going to go. Don’t call her.

She calls him.

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Protégé [Part 1]

Originally posted by eatupbangtan

A series of three raps to your door in quick succession had you dropping your hands to your desk, the application you were going over losing your attention. 

“Come in.” You said, not raising your voice because you knew you didn’t need to. You would be heard. 

You wiped a hand over your face, hoping to rub away the dull ache of tired eyes. You’d been reading over files for a good portion of the evening, and it was starting to wear on you. The door of your office swung open, revealing the familiar face of Jaebum, who offered you a courteous smile with an undertone of apology for disturbing you.

You returned the smile, but said nothing. Jaebum had been working for you long enough to know that if he came into your office, it was for a reason or with a purpose. 

“Got a walk in for you.” He said, hovering just inside the doorway. 

Your brows that had been raised in intrigue fell as you pursed your lips. “It’s Saturday at four in the afternoon, the doors aren’t even opened yet.”

He nodded his head along with your words, as if he’d already anticipated them. “I know, I’m sorry. We tried to chase him off a couple of times, but he won’t leave. Says he wants to talk to you in person.”

“Well for Christ’s sake, Jaebum.” You sighed, leaning back in your chair as you lightly slapped your palm flat against the top of your desk. “Tons of people want to talk to me, it doesn’t mean they can.”

“I know.” Jaebum nodded again, clearing his throat after a long beat of silence. “I really don’t think he’s leaving though.”

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Don't Let Me Go

Request; Can you write an imagine where Spencer and the reader get in a fight before a case and the whole time Spencer is being passive aggressive with her until she ends up seriously hurt and he thinks she’s going to die before they got to make up? I LOOOOVE YOUR WRITING BTW ❤❤❤❤❤

Warnings; angst, gore, violence

A/N

This is kind of saaaaaad. Thank you for the request!



——-

“You never hang out with me anymore!” You yell as Spencer tries pushing past you to leave the house.

 "Y/N, I hang out with you all the time,“ he says calmly as you stare up at him accusingly.

"No, you don’t,” you frown. “We come home and you either read or sleep.”

“Oh my god, Y/N, move!” Spencer tries getting past again but you push him forward. 

“Are you cheating?” You accuse angrily. “Tell me the truth, right now." 

"I’m not cheating!” He replies incredulously. “Why would you even think that?" 

"Because you’ve been leaving every day and not coming home until late,” You reply, saddened. “I mean, it’s not like you have friends or anything.” The words left your mouth accidentally, and you regretted letting them free. Spencer’s calm demeanor had changed from calm to hurt and angry.

“I don’t have friends?” He asks with an eyebrow raised.

“Spence, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that.” You tried to fix your mistake, but the damage was already done. Spencer was staring at you like you had just killed someone, and that someone being him.

“Then what did you mean, Y/N?” He questions with disappointment. “You know, out of all the people who could have said that to me, I never thought it would be you. I’ve heard it before, trust me. I guess bullies never mature.”

Bullies?” You scoff, taken aback. “Spencer, it was an honest mistake. It’s just that you never go out and the people who are your friends don’t go out like this.”

“Just save it,” Spencer cuts you off and shakes his head. “I have to go.”

You watch as Spencer leaves the house once again like he did every day. His satchel and coat in hand as he left without saying a goodbye. No kiss, no hug, no ‘I love you’, just silence. You didn’t want to believe he was cheating, but it was the only logical explanation. This was so unusual for him, and at first, you suspected he had fallen back into taking dilaudid, but you would recognize the signs and he wasn’t showing them.

You let out an exasperated sigh as you plopped down onto the couch and looked out the window to see Spencer driving down the street and then disappearing when he turned the corner. Your phone sitting on the end table beside you began to vibrate, you figured it was Spencer, but when JJ’s name flashed on the screen, you knew it would be too good to be true.

“Hello?” You answer as you press the phone to your ear.

“Hey Y/N, sorry to be bothering you and Spencer on a Saturday, but we really need your guys’ help on this case.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you brushed off the little sting in your heart at the mention of Spencer’s name. “I’ll be right there.” And with that, you hung up.

When you arrived at the BAU a little later than everyone, you hastily apologized for being late and quickly slipped into one of the chairs on the round table. Your gaze lands on Spencer, he’s facing towards the screen where Penelope is showing the murders and paying no attention to you.

“Damn, Y/L/N, did you miss the bus or something?” Morgan teases and you roll your eyes.

“Actually yeah,” you purse your lips and glance over at Spencer, “second vehicle that took off without me.”

Everyone diverted their attention Penelope as she explained the case, and you did too. You wanted to focus on every detail and let your mind focus on that instead of on Spencer. If he could ignore you so easily, you hoped you could do the same.

“You know, the unsub’s victimology looks a lot like Y/N,” Emily points out and everyone turns to look at you.

“You’re right, long/short h/c hair, e/c eyes, light/tan/dark skin,” Rossi observes all your features and nods. “You’re a match.”

“Well, we could use that to our advantage,” Hotch adds. “Only in extreme circumstances, though. I don’t want one of my agents getting hurt while getting used as bait.”

“I could do that,” you agreed, peering up at Spencer to see if he would interject, but he never did. His eyes were fixated on the files in front of him, scanning every word on the page.

“Alright, wheels up in 30,” Hotch announces and everyone gathers their stuff to leave the room.

You waited until everyone left and you hurried towards Spencer.

“Hey,” you greet, but his eyes didn’t meet yours. “Spence, I’m sorry. Can we stop fighting?”

“I have to finish reading the case,” Spencer says nonchalantly as he walks out of the office with his face still buried in the file. You frown and head outside to meet everyone in the jet, completely frustrated with Spencer.

Once you landed in the unsub’s territory and reported to the local P.D., you couldn’t help but look back at the plane ride to here. Spencer ignored you like he had in the meeting room, and he talked to everyone but you. Usually, he would sit by you and the two of you would either talk or read something, but he avoided you like the black plague. You tried meeting up with him when he was getting coffee, but he poured it at the speed of light just so he could avoid speaking to you.

“Y/L/N, are you feeling okay?” Hotch asks you silently after he assigned everyone to different locations. “You seem out of it.”

“Yeah, just the case has me feeling uneasy,” you lie, but he takes it.

“Alright then, you and Morgan better get to the coroner’s then,” he nods towards the car and you agree. You slip into the passenger’s seat and wait impatiently for Derek to get into the car.

“Come on, Derek,” you call for him outside the window. “I’m not getting any younger here.”

“Alright, alright, princess,” he puts his hands out in defense as he steps out of the sheriff’s department. “No rush.”

“Yes rush,” you scoff. “People are dying.”

“What’s got you so mad anyway?” Morgan asks as he starts the car. “Trouble in paradise?”

“What makes you think that?” You question curiously as you look out the window.

“Your usual bubbly self is quiet and irritated, you got here late and without Reid. Plus, the kid’s not giving you the time of day.”

“That obvious?”

“You guys aren’t slick,” Morgan chuckles.

While the two of you are at a stoplight, a car pulls up beside you. A large, rusted white pickup truck. You feel an uneasy feeling in your stomach and you gulp as the man driving the car looks at you with such wonder and lust in his eyes.

“Morgan, the vehicle beside me matches the unsub’s,” you explain quietly.

“What?” Morgan looks to your side, but the car was gone. “Y/N, you sure you’re alright?”

Seconds after the question rolls off his lips, a car slams into the rear end of the car, sending both you and Morgan flying forward toward the dashboard with the seatbelts still holding you back. Morgan regains his composure quickly and tries driving off, but in the seconds that the two of you were off guard, the unsub had driven to face your side.

“Morgan, go!” You yell. Morgan had tried speeding away, but the unsub was quicker. The unsub smashed into your side, causing the whole car to turn over. Pieces of glass were digging into your skin and you could feel the blood trickling down your head as the car lied on its side.

“Y/N!” Morgan calls as the two of you absorb the third hit, flipping the car completely upside down. You began to cough violently, the world was spinning and you could barely focus. The street intersection was a ghost town except for the rusty truck parked beside the totaled squad car. A pair of boots hit the pavement beside you, causing all your blood to run cold. You attempted to unbuckle your seatbelt, but you noticed a huge piece of glass sticking out of your side. You peer over at Derek to find him unconscious with little to no scratches.

As you were reaching over to the control center to call for help, you hear the door beside you open and you’re met with the same black boots from earlier.


A/N

There is going to be a part 2 to this!! It would have been way too long to be one imagine so I am going to split it! Sorry for any mistakes ;’)))

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #118 - Kingsman: The Secret Service

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #343.

Format: Blu-ray

1) I love this movie. It’s so much fun, it has a great blend of style and character, and it’s just a treat all around! Honestly it’s probably the best Roger Moore James Bond movie without Roger Moore in it.

Originally posted by galahadftw

2) Hey, it’s Mark Hamill!

3) The bad guys are so polite in this movie.

Thug; “I’m under very strict instructions not to hurt you.”

4) Hey, it’s Jack Davenport!

Originally posted by richmondvalentines

Originally posted by grandefilms

Too bad he, like Mark Hamill, dies very early on in the movie.

5) The score in this film composed by Henry Jackman and Matthew Margeson is one of the things that infuses this film with the energy it has. It has JUST enough of that classic 007 feel to know that’s what they’re going for, but not too much to distract the audience. The rest is a fun, action packed score which adds an extra dose of adrenaline to the film. I love it!

6) Sofia Boutella as Gazelle!

Originally posted by murrddocks

Boutella’s scar is quickly on the rise, having memorable rules in this, as Jaylah in Star Trek Beyond, and as the titular monster in Universal’s upcoming The Mummy reboot. And this films tells you why. It is a smaller role, especially when compared to Eggsy or the main villain Valentine, but every scene Boutella is in defines the character. She’s fierce but also incredibly loyal to Valentine, but that doesn’t mean she’s not human. You see bits of kindness, curiosity, wonder, and humor. Boutella merges all these qualities wonderfully in the villainous Gazelle and her scenes with Sam Jackson are a delight!

7) Samuel L. Jackson as Richmond Valentine.

Originally posted by richmondvalentines

Sam Jackson is great in this role. I honestly don’t think I’ve seen the legend give a bad performance. Has he been in bad movies? Sure. But he always commits 100% and gives it his all, and here’s no different.

Valentine is an interesting character in that he’s the best example of a villain believing he’s the good guy. He doesn’t want to kill people, he doesn’t want to hurt people, he wants to save the world, so he’ll get others to kill and hurt people for him. Samuel L. Jackson is a lot of fun in the role, adding a nice lisp which (according to IMDb):

Samuel L. Jackson’s character of Richmond Valentine was originally intended not to have a lisp. However, Jackson completed his first take with a lisp. Matthew Vaughn yelled “cut!”, and talked to Jackson, who revealed to Vaughn that, prior to having an acting career, he actually had a lisp, which he eventually overcame. It was also jokingly remarked that this lisp is Valentine’s reason for being villainous.

It’s a great part of the film.

8) Harry Hart/Gallahad’s need for the Kingsman to progress past snobs already establishes him as an interesting character among the spy organization. It shows he truly understands what it is to be noble. That it’s not about the circumstances of one’s birth but how you treat your fellow man. But more on that later.

9) Taron Egerton as Eggsy.

Originally posted by hartwinorlose

Although the film was largely marketed on the star power of Firth, Jackson, and even Michael Caine, it is Eggsy who’s the real hero of the film and he is awesome! Eggsy is an intriguing character with a lot of nice layers/surprises which pop up in the film in fun ways. To start we learn that - even as a “punk” - he lives by a strict moral code of not ratting on his friends and taking care of his own, but he’s not below petty pranks of revenge (as in stealing a jackass’ car and then driving it backwards). He can keep a secret and largely fends for himself, only calling upon the favor Harry Hart offered him 17 years later when he REALLY needs it.

Egerton is fantastic in the role! He embraces every layer of Eggsy. The kindness, the loyalty, the rough edges, the temper, the brashness, all the contradictions and surprises, and he blends them together in a believably way. He’s funny, charismatic, and an absolute star on screen.

10) I never understand why Eggsy’s mom decided to marry such a shit after his dad died. Maybe because he can support them? I don’t know, but Eggsy’s stepdad is a prick.

11) I love this

Harry: Your father was a brave man. A good man. And having read your files, I’d think he’d be bitterly disappointed in the choices you’ve made.

Eggsy: You can’t talk to me like that.

Harry: Huge I.Q., great performance in primary school. And it all went tits up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.

Eggsy: Do you think there’s a lot of jobs going around here, yeah?

Harry: Doesn’t explain why you gave up your hobbies. First prize, regional under tens’ gymnastics, two years in a row. Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material.

Eggsy: Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad, you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.

Hart: Now of course. Always someone else’s fault. Who’s to blame you for quitting the Marines? You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.

Eggsy: Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad. Then we wouldn’t be cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do. We ain’t got much choice, you get me? And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses, we’d do just as well as you, if not better.

I think this is great for a few reasons. It tells us a lot about Eggsy (gymnast, marine corp, huge IQ) but it SHOWS us a lot too. It shows up that he respects himself and that he’ll stand by the decisions he’s made in the past. It shows us that Eggsy takes shit from no one, no matter how in the right society may say they are.

12) I love the fight scene in the bar, otherwise known as “Manners Maketh Man”.

It is our first real showcase of the film’s stellar action sequences, which hold up for the rest of our two hour ride. I think the action is most marked by a fun, fast pace, but also incredible fight choreography. It’s an excellent case of action/reaction or action/consequences. Everything leads into everything else and it all flows so beautifully.

13) Remember how I said Eggsy had some nice layers?

Harry [trying to describe training Eggsy to be a spy]: Did you see the film Trading Places?

Eggsy: No.

Harry: How about Nikita? Pretty Woman? Now, my point is that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path that you needn’t stay on. If you’re prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform.

Eggsy: Oh, like in My Fair Lady.

Hart: You’re full of surprises.

Eggsy is not some moron tough guy who’s masculinity is too fragile to watch and appreciate My Fair Lady. Harry obviously has this image in his mind of what Eggsy is (a guy who likes raunchy comedies and action movies).

14) Is it me or is the idea of a spy organization run totally on its own above any sort of law or government shady as fuck? And they use fear tactics to train their recruits and want them to willingly shoot a poor dog in a cold blood (more on that bullshit later).

15) I love Roxy.

Originally posted by wonderlandinmymind

She doesn’t get nearly enough screen time but is given some nice development in the time she does.

  • Is able to be civil in a competitive field without it getting in the way of her goals.
  • Has an incredible fear of heights and/or falling, but that doesn’t stop her from doing what needs to be done towards the end of the film (which is a great arc in and of itself).
  • Is willing what needs to be done to accomplish her goals (like shooting a dog to be in Kingsman).

We see her and Eggsy develop a nice friendship. Not a romance, not a will they won’t they, a mutual respect among peers and also platonic support. If the sequel can improve on the original in one way (and listen carefully Matthew Vaughn) it would be to include more Roxy!

16) Can we be honest? If there was a US president who would participate in the planning of mass genocide from this current decade, it wouldn’t be Obama.

17) The water tank!

Originally posted by egertoness

Not only an example of the film’s great action, but also imaginative set pieces and classic spy thrills. Also - and I say this as a hetero guy - but Eggsy’s abs have even me going DAMN.

18) Me too Sam Jackson. Me too.

Valentine [after he has to blow up Professor Arnold’s head or risk exposure]: “He made me kill Professor Arnold. I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.”

19) This line really sticks with me.

Valentine [after Gazelle says she reached out to various secret services]: “Beijing. So freaky how there’s no recognizable name for the Chinese Secret Service. Now that’s what you call a secret, right?”

20) I’m a dog person, okay? I love this.

Originally posted by bride-of-the-north

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

21) Remember how I said that Kingsman is a shady spy organization? Well it should really follow the Captain America rule of ethics and not include any bullies in its services. The only two candidates who aren’t pricks are Eggsy and Roxy!

22) The skydiving scene - akin to the water tank scene - is a great example of the film’s wonderful set pieces and fun writing. It also gives us Roxy’s fear of heights and/or falling and Eggsy supporting his friend (and later fellow teammates) even though if he left her there it would mean he’d advance through the program. It’s so great! Even Merlin (Mark Strong) is getting tense watching!

23) I get hungry for McDonald’s every time I see this film.

Originally posted by robinwright

24) The scene where Harry visits Valentine at his home for a gala which turns into a dinner date (basically) is a very Bond scene. They each have a sense for who the other is but play nice, act civil, make vague threats. I call it “Into The Lion’s Den.” Very 007.

25) This. Fucking. Quote.

Harry (quoting Ernest Hemingway): “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

Originally posted by iaminfiniteus

I live by this fucking quote.

26) This film has some pretty great humor.

Harry (showing Eggsy how a knife hidden in a boot works): “Now do your very best impersonation of a German aristocrat’s formal greeting.”

Originally posted by anthony94825

Harry: “No, Eggsy.”

[Harry clicks his heels and a blade pops out of his right shoe]

27) THIS STUPID BULLSHIT WITH THE DOG!!!!

Arthur [the head of Kingsman, handing Eggsy a gun]: “Shoot the dog.”

So the final test to be a Kingsman agent is to shoot a dog who’ve you spent the last few months training and growing attached to and if you shoot the dog you get in.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And later it turns out the gun was only filled with blanks and Harry says Kingsman only condone the taking of a life when it’s necessary.

(GIF originally posted by @karenmpage)

We only condone the taking of a life when it’s considerate and thought out, but we want to make sure all our agents are mindless coldblooded killers who follow orders without questions because that always works so damn well. You know, because we’re the good guys.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

 28) The fucking church scene. 

Originally posted by lewiebaloo

So Harry goes to a hate-group church in America which Valentine has shown an interest in to inspect it, and we hear a little bit of their extremely hateful rhetoric before Harry gets up to leave…

Harry: Would you excuse me?

Female Patron: Where are you going?

Female Patron: Hey! What’s your problem?

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And then Harry gets up to leave and Valentine (who’s in a nearby building) starts a mysterious machine he tests out on the church. What follows is one of the greatest action sequences to grace the screens of cinema:

Content Warning: The below video features hyper-violent, bloody, stylized violence. Watch at your own discretion.

Everything about this scene is perfect. The choice of music feeds directly into the high speed sense of pacing, and the choice to speed up the film just a bit not only supports that same aspect of pacing but also gives the scene the quality of a runaway train. Because that’s what Harry is right now: he’s out of control! He has no ability to make decisions he just lets loose with every hateful whim that pops in his head. But probably the thing that makes this scene work as well as it does is the decision to make it a continuous shot. You cut back to Eggsy, Merlin, and Valentine/Gazelle as they witness this event, but the fight inside of the church itself is a continuous shot (or edited to appear as such). This goes back to my earlier point of how the action of the film plays very much into cause/effect or actions/consequences. You witness every little thing that happens. Harry runs out of bullets? He starts to beat someone with his gun. Someone just tried to stab him? He takes the knife for himself. It is continuous. It flows. And it is just an adrenaline filled scene to watch.

Note: I saw this twice in theaters, the second time with my parents. My mom loves Colin Firth and did not take too kindly to the fact that he murdered a bunch of people. She thought the scene was great, but she didn’t like that they made Colin Firth do that. My mom is very cute sometimes (like when she asked me in Rouge One when Chewbacca was going to show up, knowing full well he didn’t).

29) After the church scene, Valentine shoots Harry point blank in the head and hates how it feels. Gazelle points out that he just killed everyone in that church.

Valentine: “No, no, no, they killed each other.”

That is so fucking important for Valentine’s character. He doesn’t tack responsibility for any of his actions. He doesn’t see himself as the villain. He sees himself as a savior who hasn’t even killed anyone!

30) Note: The scene I’m about to discuss is best experienced without knowing that it’s going to happen. If you want to be surprised by it, skip on to note #31.

So skipping ahead a bit to when Eggsy has infiltrated the enemy base (since all the notes I made during the preceding scenes I’d made already), the way everyone’s head blows up in a scene I call “Pomp & Circumstance” is hysterical.

In contrast to the hyper violent and sometimes too realistic fight in the church, the filmmakers opt to make a more cartoony and artistic violent scene. And if you don’t know it’s coming you laugh so hard when it happens (hence the note above).

31) The song choice of “Give It Up” as Valentine operates his hate machine gives it a similar sense of pacing as “Freebird” did in the church scene. This film really understands that music is it’s friend.

32) This scene seems weirdly empowering towards women.

Swedish Princess (who is captive in Valentine’s base, after Eggsy says he has to save the world before he rescues her): “If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole.”

And in any other movie this would be written off as, “Oh, a guy wrote that line.” But this script was written by a man and a woman, meaning she had to okay it. So…weirdly empowering, right?

I think I should move on.

33) The fight scene between Gazelle and Eggsy may not be the sheer perfection which is the church scene, but it’s a fun watch nonetheless and it uses Gazelle’s blade legs to their advantage.

Originally posted by foxmovies

34) Remember how I said this film’s score incorporates JUST enough 007 in it? Well the little bit of horn we get just before Gazelle dies represents that perfectly. That’s a very James Bond moment.

35)

Valentine [after Eggsy has fatally wounded him]: “Is this the part where you say some really bad pun?”

Eggsy: “It’s like you said to Harry: this ain’t that kind of movie, bruv.”

It kinda is.

36) And we come full circle.

Originally posted by netflixruinedmylifeimagines


Kingsman is spectacular. It’s possibly my favorite spy movie of 2015 (which had Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, Spy, The Man from UNCLE (sorry @theforceisstronginthegirl), Bridge of Spies, and SPECTRE), definitely one of my favorite action movies ever, and hell it’s one of my favorite films of all time. It is just a fun ride with great style, characters, and acting. A true delight through and through. Go watch it now if you can!

AU: Uni Shawn - athlete/trainer

Requested: An imagine based on these bullet points with Shawn as a hockey player and y/n as a trainer.

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

You grab the foam roller before re-entering the training room. Handing Steve the roller, you look around the room as a few more players are filing in, needing different things before they start to suit up and warm up for the game tonight. “You can go over there,” You tell him, pointing to the side of the room where he’ll be out of the way, so he can roll out his tight muscles.

He takes the foam roller from you, and says, “Thanks, y/n,” Before turning and heading over to the spot you told him to.

Now that he’s taken care of, you turn your attention to James who you noticed just walked in. “How’s your ankle?” You ask him, while motioning for him to take a seat on the table.

“Still sore,” He responds truthfully, while sitting down and lifting his foot up a bit so you can take a look. It still looks bruised.

“Have you been icing it?” You ask, and he nods. After moving it a bit, and taking into account his pain levels, you say, “It isn’t ideal, but I can wrap it, and you’ll be able to play tonight.”

“Thanks, y/n, you’re the best.” He tells you.

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” You tell him then you walk to the cabinet to grab the pre-wrap and tape. While you’re digging through the cabinet, wondering what happened to all the pre-wrap, you feel someone come up behind you. A hand lands on your shoulder, and he presses a kiss to the back of your head before continuing on his way. When you turn around, Shawn is already halfway across the room, greeting Steve with a handshake. You just smile and shake your head at the fact that even after all this time, he still manages to make your heart speed up when he enters the room. Returning your attention to the cabinet, you finally locate the pre-wrap, and go back to James to wrap his ankle.

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Covert Affair (Request)

Taeyong x Reader

Word Count: 4.3k 

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Suggested child neglect and miscarriage 

A/N: I’ve never had to put a warning before for a scenario.. It isn’t too prominent, tbh it’s more hinted than anything, but I just put them as warnings just incase.. So please read with caution if those are sensitive topics! But this was requested by  t h e  Taeyong stan and lord, it has stretched me out of my comfort zone ngl 

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The Devil Drinks Tequila

BTS Yoongi / Bad Boy / Words: 4,617 / Warnings: underage drinking, lotta cursing
@savageyoonji requested:  Hey!! could I possibly request a drabble (or whatever you prefer) about being at school with Suga who is kind of a bad boy and you have a tiny secret crush on him? Thank you so much!!
A/N: this took 10 years and it aint even good im so sorry

Black printed words on a page floated before your vision like waves in the ocean before you blinked hard, wishing that the school sold coffee somewhere on campus. No matter how long your afternoon naps were, or how early you shut your phone off and retired it to your nightstand, you were always so damn tired. And it didn’t help when your government teacher was a raving bitch, that yelled at the whole class like a madwoman about a cheating scandal that she claims to have happened. You had probably rolled your eyes fifty times that day, because you were so done with high school and teachers and the way they believed they could manipulate students just because they were older. But there you were, stuck in the library, trying to force yourself to care about the media and it’s impact on public opinion. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find a way.

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BTS Reacts: Your Bratty Attitude in Public but Shy Demeanor When Alone

Request: Bts reaction to their s/o acting bratty in public but turns super shy when they’re alone together (love your blog btw <3)

A/N: I really hope this was okay Anon! I kind of took the idea and ran away with it OTL

Originally posted by jiyoongis

Seokjin (Jin)

“Yah!” Seokjin shrieked but laughter quickly spilling out over his dinner in front of him. He lowered his chopsticks piled with noodles and grinned at you. He caught you mid reach towards Noodles, quietly watching from the floor, chopsticks flinching open at his screech. You watched happily as your puppy made quick work of the noodles, small tail wagging away.

“Oh, no you don’t. You were so set on having ramen tonight, you begged me and then practically threw them at me in the store, and now you’re feeding it to the puppy. I swear, kids these days don’t appreciate a thing. When I was your age-,”

You pursed your lips and scrunched your nose as he continued on with his rant, shaking his head from side to side, but smiling none the less.

Originally posted by nnochu

Yoongi (Suga)

You could feel the heat radiating from Yoongi’s body, his hand perched against the wall, precariously close to your burning red neck. You leaned more against the cool wall of his bedroom, heart stampeding through your chest. You licked your dry lips, Yoongi’s eyes darting to trace the motion, a crooked smile playing on his lips. “What happened to the girl back at the party? You were quite full of yourself there, teasing me with that mouth of yours.”

Originally posted by goldseok

Hoseok (J-Hope)

“All right guys, one more time and then we’ll call it quits.” Hoseok called out, motioning for the music to cue one more time. A chorus of groans sounded from the dance studio as you stretched and tried, but failed to stifle a yawn.

“(Y/N), would you like to show us the routine since I can’t seem to keep you awake?” Hoseok called you out as a lop-sided smiled appeared on his face. You immediately straightened your posture as 14 other pairs of eyes landed on you.

“Only if you join me,” You challenged, angling your chin up and smiling. He quirked his eyebrow, a sly smile playing at the corner of his lips.

The music cued and your body moved easily with Hobi beside you, hours of sweat and practice noticeable in your movements, your attention to every detail; just the way he had taught you. 

You watched as your classmates left for their next class, and quickly finished packing up your jacket and water bottle. You felt your face heat up as you caught Hoseok watching you from across the now empty studio. You averted your gaze and quickly slinging your backpack over your shoulder, you made a beeline for the door. You inwardly cursed as you felt Hoseok grab hold of your small wrist and turn you around.

“You are going to be the death of me, little girl, I swear,” he chuckled deeply.

Originally posted by sugutie

Namjoon (Rapmon)

“(Y/N)! Stop!” Namjoon’s deep laugh couldn’t stop from bubbling over in his throat as you continuously splashed water on him. You grinned in triumph, wanting nothing more than to hear the sound again.

“Make me!” you laughed as you kept splashing, eyes shut tight when you felt the force of your body being tackled into the water.

You lunged yourself to the surface, coughing at the intake of water and glared as Namjoon laughed harder, standing in the stomach-high water, his hair and face dripping, just like you.

You didn’t think twice and leaped in his direction, latching your arms around his neck, your weight causing him to tumble backwards, and fall back into the water. You quickly waddled as fast as you could away from the still submerged Namjoon, and made your way over to one of the many large tunnels the waterpark offered.

Namjoon followed seconds later, grabbing your wrist and lightly pushing you against the wall. Something like regret immediately filled your chest and you couldn’t seem to meet his eyes. You felt your face fill with color at the thought of him so close to you in public and you quickly patted your cheeks with your wet hands in hopes of calming them down.

“Make you? Is that a challenge?” he smirked, voice low, his face just inches from yours.

Originally posted by cake-p0p

Taehyung (V)

“Come on Tae! I wanna see the giraffes~” You whined, dragging out the last word and throwing yours arms around dramatically. Your fussing earned one of his boxy smiles and a low chuckle.

Tae quickly downed the rest of his cola and threw away the can. “Okayyyyyyyy~” he mimicked your whining, smiling once more when your lip jutted out in a pout. You lightly swatted at his arm, earning you an over-exaggerated yell from Tae and a full blown show of him on his knees, holding onto his upper arm where you had hit him.

You giggled at his antics and whined more. “Come ON Tae!” You bounced on your toes in place, excitement running through you.

Aish, you’re cute Jagi,” Tae exclaimed as he pulled himself up from the walkway.  You half bounced, half pulled Taehyung along as you saw the sign for the African animal exhibit.

“Look Tae! There they are!” You announced loudly, pointing in the animals direction and looked back at the boy you had called. He smiled fondly at you, and watched as you ran the rest of the way to the ledge and handrail that led out to the large open field.

You bounced more in excitement, holding onto the rail and looked around for any sign of the wildlife. “Jagi,” Tae called softly, lips brushing your ear, his arms snaking around your waist. You stiffened at the public display of affection, a deep blush crawling up your neck and onto your cheeks. “I swear, you’re too cute for your own good.”

Originally posted by amsimaria

Jimin

“Jimin-ah, I just styled your hair. Do you have to ruffle it already?” You questioned the idol as he sat in your styling chair, shaking his head and running a hand through his bangs. “Don’t make me ask you to sit on your hands like I do my niece.”

“I’m sorry Noona, its just a nervous habit.” he apologized, setting his hands down neatly in his lap. You watched as he played with his thumb and forefinger, another nervous habit you knew he had.

“(Y/N), hurry up, they’re on in five,” another member of the styling team chided you and you sighed in frustration. You eyed the other members as they exited out into the hall and turned your gaze back onto Jimin.

He was looking up at you, while you watched him through the mirror, deciding on how to fix his hair quickly. “You’re really pretty, Noona,” you barely heard him mumble. Color immediately shot to your face as you tried to focus on anything other than him and how his eyes fell on your lips.

You naturally licked your now dry lips, his eyes following the motion intently. You cleared your throat, willing your voice to sound normal as you spoke. “I need to fix your hair,” you mumbled more to yourself to alleviate some of the tension that was now filling the room. The stare he was giving you was enough to melt you to the floor. You could feel his gaze on you as he traced your features with his eyes while you blow-dried the front of his bangs.

“I’ll see you later, Noona,” He smiled softly minutes later, as he exited the room.  

Originally posted by mayfifolle

Jungkook

A/N: Guys I can’t this gif is too f*cking cute

“Alright, come on you guys! Time to get up!” you yelled, hoping your voice would carry to all 4 rooms as you walked down the hallway of their dorm. You heard groaning from multiple rooms, which meant you were doing your job properly. You had just started maybe a month ago as one of the managers for BTS, and being the new kid, you got the short end of the stick on jobs. Which meant you were usually the one to wake them up, go on coffee runs, and even grocery shop if they didn’t have time.

You greeted the boys cheerfully as they filed out from their shared rooms, either them mumbling a “Hello” in return or eyes still closed in hopes of sleep and completely missing your presence. You silently counted heads as they made their way towards the living room to be notified of today’s schedule, and in the end, only counting 6.

You peeked in to the rooms to see bed covers half-hazardly thrown to the side or completely off the bed, your eyes finally landing on a still sleeping mass of blankets you could only assume to be Jungkook.

A soft sigh escaped your lips as you walked over towards the sleeping form and gently shook what you assumed to be his shoulder. “Kookie, come on. You need to get up so we can get today started.”

Jungkook gave a lack-luster groan and a barely recognizable “Five more minutes”. You contemplated your options; Dumping water on him would probably be too harsh, but you also really needed to get him up before the other boys started falling asleep in the living room.

You blinked, your eyes focusing back on the lump in front of you. You watched as the blankets were slowly pulled down from his head to reveal just the top of his eyes.

“I’m still here Jungkook,” you deadpanned.

The maknae pulled the covers down from his face and gave a toothy grin, a small giggle escaping. You pulled your arms across your chest, a hand resting over your mouth in an attempt to hide your smile and your slight blush. This kid is really too cute. You tried to push away the invading thought, but it just wouldn’t leave. An exasperated sigh left you and you ruffled his hair in fondness, letting your full smile fill your features.

SENRAN KAGURA Estival Versus - Localization Blog #3

The Way of the Waifu
By Ryan Graff, with contributions from Brittany, Tom, Mai, Liz, Junpei, Billy, Jason, Ken, Alyssa, and Nathan

XSEED was quite a change of pace and style from my last job, which was working QA for the usually T-rated Square-Enix. A few weeks before my first day here, Ken and Jess sent me some reference materials for my first XSEED project, wrapping up the European version of Valhalla Knights 3. I remember reading through the game’s text files, reading descriptions for items called “Survibrator” and “Congratulotion,” and wondering exactly what I’d signed on for.

It wasn’t long after VK3 went gold that I started my second major project here, co-localizing the main script for SENRAN KAGURA Shinovi Versus. Since I hadn’t played Burst before coming to the office, I took a crash course, reading up on the characters’ histories, relationships, and personalities.

SENRAN KAGURA has always gone out of its way to make each of its many characters as distinctive as possible in every way. Each girl has her own personality, visual style, fighting style, vocabulary, and personal history, and their stories grow and develop from game to game.

It’s not always easy for storytellers to juggle ensemble casts. Audiences need time, screen time, to bond with your characters, and it can be tough to balance the audience’s attention and affection amongst a large cast while also keeping the story moving forward. But when a storyteller pulls it off, the payoff is that each audience member, no matter who they are, gets at least one favorite character, someone they can personally relate to and root for.

With that in mind, one of the most frequently asked questions about SENRAN KAGURA is, “Who’s your favorite?” Since we write for the English version of the game, that question sometimes comes in different flavors, like “Who do you enjoy writing for the most?” or “Who would you most want to hang out with?” In short, which girl is XSEED’s waifu?

Me personally, I like writing for Haruka most, because I enjoy writing “eloquent, haughty young lady”-type characters (writing for Nero in Fate/EXTELLA was fun for the same reason), and because she’s so crafty and unpredictable. In terms of who I’d most want to hang out with, I think Mirai would make a fun writing buddy, Homura would make a kickass personal trainer, Shiki reminds me of my first crush, and Murasaki could always use a hug.

(We also occasionally get asked who our least favorite character is, but I like them all too much to really say, other than to note that I hope Minori gets more onscreen character development in future titles.)

But I’m not the only one who works on SENRAN KAGURA — credit goes out to everyone who proofs, tests, helps market, and otherwise contributes to the games (especially by playing them at home and spreading the good word!) — so let’s go around the office and see who’s down with who:

Brittany:
Haruka. She’s a true queen and I’d thank her if she stepped on me. 


Billy:
I would say my SK waifu is Asuka. She is the first character I used. I also like her fighting style and her clumsy personality. But Rin is cool too.

Tom:
Hard to pick only one, but I’d have to go with Hikage, whose struggle with emotionality makes her extremely endearing, but is more than made up for with awesome moves and general kickassness. Honorable mentions go to Mirai for the amazing outfit, Ayame for having the cutest face in the series (seriously, how is she so cute?!), and Imu for her admirable devotion to the one she loves (which makes her less viable as “waifu” material, but more awesome as a character IMHO). 

Liz:
Hikage, all day.
- has no emotions
- is sometimes a berserk snake
- licks uses knives
- chill af
I was into masochistic gun ballerina for a while but she too hyphy.

Mai:
Naraku ❤
- super loyal
- love the way she call herself (I believe it’s “I” in English but in Japanese, she calls herself  “Jibun” instead of “watashi”)
- fashionista (her hoodie and arm warmer thing)
- bubble gum❤
- not so emotional 

Junpei: 
My SK waifu is Yozakura. 
- She speaks the Okayama dialect, which sounds super cute when girls speak it.
- She has giant fists.
- She’s good at cooking.  

Jason: 
I’m a nice guy and like all girls (except Minori and Hibari).  But my top 3 would be Homura, Kagura, and Renka.  
Homura: She’s Wolverine and voiced by Eri Kitamura.
Kagura: She’s god and fights by ripping holes in dimensions.
Renka: She drums like no other.  

Ken: 
Homura. Tan lines. ‘Nuff said.  

Alyssa: 
Rin definitely stole my heart (I’ll fight you for her, Billy!). Purple hair and glasses? Sign me up! But I also love her weapon and fighting style, as well as her friendship with Daidoji. ❤ 

Nathan:
Shiki. Something to be said about a multilingual witch.

As I wrap this up, SENRAN KAGURA Estival Versus has just gone up on Steam, and the Ikki Tousen DLC characters are finally available on PS4, Vita, and PC, after a long struggle to bring them overseas. (Thanks again, Takaki-san!) We hope everyone enjoys reconnecting with the girls (or meeting them, if it’s your first time), and keep your eye out — you never know what might come next!

twentyeightghosts  asked:

I SAW YOUR "#cyberpunk baze x chirrut?" TAG AND NOW I'M THINKING -- chirrut as the badass techno-monk still loyal to his destroyed order, baze as a Bodyguard For Hire With A Big Gun, ughhhhh i can see it so clearly in my head and i love it

Star Wars is basically one step away from cyberpunk anyway, just add more neon and stick everyone on one planet instead of a billion, et voilà.

Chirrut works as a technomancer, able to communicate with and manipulate computers directly without needing code or terminals or cybernetic implants. He came by his abilities not through the self-taught survival-of-the-fittest lessons of the street, nor through sinister experimentation by one of the Megacorps, but through good old-fashioned techno-religion. His bond with the very web of cyberspace becomes the stuff of legends on both the mainstream and shadow ‘nets. This flickering presence known as The Monk, who slips through firewalls and cyber sentries like so much tissue paper, who runs his digital fingers through classified archives and top-security files pretty much whenever and however he pleases, whose reported exploits far exceed the number of places he’s actually been in.

Even glimpsing his avatar requires feats of hacking accessible only to the top tiers of hackers, the legends say, and a confirmed Monk sighting goes onto a person’s net profile like an elite badge of honor, good for both reputations and credit accounts. The legends have also embroidered the description of Chirrut’s avatar way beyond the actual mask of bits and bytes that he assumes when he goes into cyberspace - he particularly enjoys the fanfics that feature flames, or improbably giant swords, or improbably glowing armor, or all three at once - but most of them eventually boil down to a few common threads: a beautiful man with Chinese features, wearing traditional robes, disarming your defenses in a single glance of his eerie, blank white eyes.

But as invincible as The Monk may be in cyberspace, commanding the very hardware of its machinery to bend to his will, he has a weakness. Which is simply the weakness of any hacker, down to the most ordinary - when he’s plugged in, he can’t defend his own body.

Company enforcers know that. Rival hackers know that. Anyone Chirrut has ever crossed, from the Megacorp that bought out and razed his religious order, to the most recent two-bit mob boss he humiliated and laid bare to the sharks of the underworld, and continuing on down the list, knows that.

So that’s where Baze comes in. 

Baze - to put it in the simplest terms - has a really big gun.

He started life as a fully organic, ordinary genetic human. That’s all ancient history by now, seriously - the reason why his Wuxing IST-Tech 45 plasma-cell cannon has so much concentrated firepower, and why it’s so deadly accurate in his hands, is because strictly speaking, there’s no boundary between the cannon and his hands. Cybernetic implants in his limbs, his body, his eyes - even his brain - turn him into a living weapon, one that maintains the firepower and accuracy even if by some miracle he’s separated from his primary weapon. 

His reputation takes longer to grow and spread than Chirrut’s, in part because it’s a fair few years before anyone realizes the quiet-but-menacing mercenary with minor-but-solid street cred operating in a single medium-size city within the Sino-Pacific Trade Group is connected to the much-rumored but somehow even more elusive bodyguard of the internationally-famous Monk. Is, in fact, the same person. (Chirrut still likes to gleefully send him text strings from shadow ‘net forums regarding wild conspiracy theories pulling together highly improbable shreds of evidence to pinpoint the entirely wrong person as the identity of The Monk’s Protector.)

As Chirrut’s daring deeds spread across cyberspace, undermining corporate structures, propping up rebellions, sabotaging exploitative operations, declawing predators and giving teeth to prey, so too does the manhunt for The Monk. Over the years, Baze stops taking as many merc jobs that require him to leave Chirrut’s side, because he simply cannot trust that his partner won’t hook into the ‘net while he’s gone, dancing with wild abandon across the strands of the matrix that runs their world. And, incidentally, leaving himself a completely empty physical shell lying comatose amongst cushions on the floor of their shared apartment. A heavily fortified apartment, but still.

After one particularly long week, which features three highway chases, four days of hopping from safehouse to safehouse, thirty hired hitmen (spaced out over the week), too much expended ammunition to bear thinking about, and a fuckload of cleanup - flesh-eating nanobots do not come cheap, let me tell you, and neither do plasma cartridges - Baze decides to say something. 

“You could at least take a few paying jobs, since I can’t anymore,” he grumbles while he takes one of his guns apart for maintenance. “Thanks to you,” he adds, because sometimes it takes many repetitions of an idea for Chirrut to come to grips with it.

“Yes, we will eventually starve. Soon I will be nothing but an insubstantial ghost, just a spirit swaying in the digital breeze, blown wherever the matrix wills it. I think I’d make quite an attractive ghost, don’t you think?” Chirrut says, leaning back from his meditation pose and stretching, tilting his chin up and exposing a delicious stretch of throat that has Baze clamping down on a highly annoyed spark of lust. “You, on the other hand, would make for quite a large lump of a corpse, come to think of it. Hmm.”

Baze snorts. “You didn’t act like you were kissing a corpse last night,” he says, and Chirrut waves a hand.

“No, no, you’re right. I prefer you in non-corpse-form. Very well then,” and he unfolds with the startling grace that he has - the same physical capability that’s stymied more than one assassin expecting an infirm, out-of-shape hacker - and bounds over to fold into Baze’s lap, who hastily retracts the gun into his arm compartment. Chirrut cups his cheek, running light fingers over exposed metal ridges and surgery scarring. “For you, my beloved, I will take a paying contract. How much should the Monk charge for his services, I wonder?”

Baze raises an eyebrow under Chirrut’s hand, not bothering to conceal his surprise at his partner’s easy capitulation. “For you? You could probably ask for anything you want. Couple million creds, to start with, and going up from there.”

Chirrut’s pupils contract in the way that indicates he’s pulling something up on his internal HUD. “I have here a humble request,” he says, stretching out the word ‘humble.’ “From someone designating herself Mon Mothma. Came in just a few hours ago.”

Baze raises his other eyebrow. Mon Mothma of Alliance Corp? Everyone in the shadow world knows by now it’s just a front for one of the many proletarian movements seeking to break the grip of the oligarchy. Ironic that she’s funding it with wealth gained through her own corporation. But she can pay handsomely. 

Chirrut bends forward to kiss his eyebrows. “I take it you approve.”

“You’ve vetted it already,” Baze says. 

Chirrut scoffs. “You could have left that thought unvoiced and saved yourself the energy,” he says, and Baze rolls his eyes.

“When’s the verification meeting?”

“Tomorrow, in the Prosperity District. At a very nice café for the finest tea in the region, the reviews tell me.” 

Right in the heart of downtown, in the shadow of every major Megacorp skyscraper in the SPTG. Baze sighs. “I’ll get out your good suit. Try not to get yourself killed.”

“Mon Mothma asked for you, too. By name.” Chirrut smiles radiantly, inordinately pleased for no reason Baze can think of. 

He grunts and wraps his hands around Chirrut’s waist. “We’ll have to pull the rich-asshole-and-his-bodyguard act again.” Baze’s visible modifications aren’t unusual in the bowels of the city, down at street level, but would stand out as unspeakably gauche if he tried to pass himself off as a plutocrat on the 200th floor of some shiny fuck-off corporate complex.

“If we must,” Chirrut dismisses. Then he pushes Baze flat on the floor and slides down, grin glittering wickedly, and proceeds to make Baze prove - repeatedly - that he is very much, definitely, decidedly not a corpse.

(Sidenote: Baze does in fact own a super rad cyberpunk motorcycle that leaves neon streaks in the darkness when he and Chirrut ride through the rain-soaked alleys of their city, because the Rule Of Cool turned the knob up to 11 on this pair, and everyone knows it.)