Spending all day today in the law commons studying women’s lit and art history so I can have fun at sweater party round 2 tonight… and also rocking a gr-outfit topped off by my cozy robe from ASOS and favorite lulu scarf that doubles as a head-covering to protect my ears from the freezing winds when I trek to Starbucks for much needed coffee (guys there’s seriously so much snow here). Not working out today but that’s totally fine– my body is extremely sore and I need all the energy in my body to go to my lil’ hardworking brain. Merry exam season all!
i’m feeling really down and i have my xmas work party tonight. i don’t want to go because it is extremely far away from me and i have work tomorrow but mostly because i feel very depressed about everything and want to just stay on my own and try to heal but i’m scared they will be annoyed if i don’t go..
Anxiety got me like: if someone talks to me in the wrong tone I might cry.
All the shit is stacking up at once. Finn is sick again. I’m having a christmas party tonight and I almost want to cancel because I hate sending him to my moms when he’s sick, but a lot of people are coming and we already bought food and made jello shots.
You walk out of your bedroom and turn towards the stairs, trying to go talk to your mum but was greeted by Sam. “What the hell are you doing here?” you asked, trying to push him out of your way.
“Your mum’s having a dinner party tonight, I thought you were aware, [Y/N]?” he smirks.
“Yeah, a family dinner party, not one with assholes like you” you snap back, making your way past him.
Sam is your mum’s best friend’s son. He is the same age as you and unfortunately, also goes to the same school. You both used to be friends, but it was only because your mums were always together and you both were constantly stuck together. But that changed when you both turned 14 and moved to the same school. Socially, you aren’t exceptionally doing well but you’re not horrible. You’re somewhere around average or a tad higher, it’s just that no one really knows you exist that much. Whereas Sam is friends with the rather dreamy boys at school, ones that all the girls drool over while walking past. Everyone knows who he is. You don’t have a problem with his friends, they aren’t rude or anything to you, it’s only Sam who does that to you. You’re not gonna lie, he is quite attractive… But you would never go there since he has the worst personality and is the biggest dick head to you. You miss the old, funny, nice him though.
“That’s not very nice, I was trying to start a lovely conversation with you” he says sarcastically.
You continued walking down the stairs, holding the rude finger up at him, as you do so. You go over to the kitchen where your mum, aunt and Sam’s mum are whipping up some dishes.
“[Y/N], haven’t you gotten ready yet?” your mum asks, whisking something in a giant bowl.
“No, not yet” you say, “hey, who’s coming tonight?”
“Just family” she sweetly smiles.
“Just family?” you ask.
She nods, placing the mixing bowl down and picking up something else to do, “yes, just family.”
Making sure that Sam’s mum wasn’t listening, you say, “then why is Sam here?”
Your mum laughs, “oh because they’re just as close as family. You grew up with Sammy, he’s almost like a brother.”
You roll your eyes at the thought of being ‘close’ with Sam. “Alright then” you force a smile before heading back upstairs.
You made your way over to your bedroom, grunting as you walked in. “Sam, why the hell are you in here?” you asked, hand on your hip.
“Because I want to be” he says, the tone of his voice making you want to rip his head off.
“Can’t you sit somewhere down stairs and not in my freaking room on my bed?”
Sam shrugs, lying more comfortably on your bed “nah, your bed is pretty comfortable.”
You roll your eyes, deciding to carry on with getting ready as you know from experience that he won’t leave any time soon. You brush through your hair, Sam watching as you do so, making you rather uncomfortable but you brush it off. You pick up your foundation and brush and just as you’re about to start applying it, Sam interrupts, “passss” he says.
“Pass what?” you asked, annoyed.
“Why are you wearing makeup?” he retaliates, sitting up.
“Because I want to, it makes me look better”
“No, it makes 78% of girls look weird because they’re hiding away their already beautiful faces. Like yours, you look great without makeup already, so why are you trying to hide that?” he says.
You ignore him and turn back to your mirror, Sam sighing as you apply your foundation then the rest of your makeup. You finished off the look with just lip balm to moisturize your lips. You didn’t really like putting on lipstick or anything heavy like that.
“Ok, well I have to agree with the lip balm, it does make your lips look good” he says out of no where. You turn around and give him a 'you’re so annoying’ face before grabbing a dress and heading over to the bath room to get changed. “You can just change here, I don’t mind!” he shouts after you but you ignore him.
You come back in the room, Sam still sitting on your bed. You adjust your dress in front of the mirror and out the corner of your eye, you can see Sam staring at you, looking up and down.
He smiles genuinely, “you look amazing.” The comment sounded truthful and you were about to say 'thank you’ but stopped yourself, realizing that chances are, he is joking.
You hear the door bell ring, indicating that the rest of your family is here. “[Y/N]! CAN YOU PLEASE GET THAT?” you hear your mum from downstairs.
“Yep!” you shout back, exiting the room.
“I’ll wait here for you” you hear Sam call.
You open the front door, revealing seven of your uncle and aunties, about five cousins under the age of ten and your snobby girly fourteen year old cousin. You greet them all with hugs and hellos but your fourteen year old cousin slips past you and plops herself on the couch. You shrug her off, continuing greeting the rest of the family and helping them place their stuff down. You make your way upstairs and go back inside your room and closed the door to block out the noise from downstairs. You slid down the door and sat on the carpet, closing your eyes as you sigh in relief.
“Big family?” Sam asks, slightly startling you.
“Yeah” you puff.
He nods in acknowledgement, so what do you want to do to kill time?“
"I don’t know” you say, not quite sure why you’re wasting energy replying to him.
“You want to just, like, I don’t know, talk and stuff?” he suggests. You nod, earning a small smile from him. It was silent before he started speaking again, “I’m sorry if I’ve made you hate me, it wasn’t exactly my goals.”
You furrow your eyebrows, confused at what he just said, “what?”
“Just for like, being a dick and stuff. I don’t mean to be, it happens and I realize that it’s too late or that the effect on you isn’t what I wanted” he says, biting his bottom lip.
“Oh” you say, thinking through it in your mind. You aren’t quite sure whether this is a joke or not but your instincts tell you he is being truthful while your brain disagreed. “But I think you’re lying. You aren’t sorry and you don’t care.”
His face dropped, his gaze stuck on the little stain on your carpet, “I do.”
You sigh, not sure what this even means. “I don’t know Sam, it’s pretty convincing that you don’t care. We’ve been to the same school for like four years now and you’ve been the same. So I’m sorry if I don’t think what you’re saying is true.”
“What I’m saying is true,” he starts, “I don’t mean to say the things I have said, they kinda happen and in a way, it makes me feel like you’ll think I’m cool and not the dorky little me in primary school. Have you ever heard the thing where boys are mean to the girls they like? Yeah well, I guess that’s true because I don’t mean the shit I say and sometimes crap comes flying out of my mouth without even thinking through it and I’m sorry.”
“You like me?” you finally say after a long pause.
Sam was about to reply when you hear your mum calling the both of you down to dinner. You look at him, hoping that he’d reply but he just stood up and walked towards the door and helped you up. Both of you didn’t say anything on the way down stairs and you were about to sit next to each other on the dining table when your snobby little cousin comes and sits in your spot, probably just because she wants to sit next to the 'hot boy’ according to her when she first met him. You roll you eyes, your mum catching you and giving you 'the look’. As an alternative, you sit in between her parents, diagonally across from Sam.
The dinner was awkward and loud. You and Sam caught the other staring a couple of times. Your cousin tried starting numerous conversation with him but they quickly fell as he obviously felt a little awkward from the way she looked at him. After you finished, you and Sam headed upstairs while your parents and older relatives gathered around the living room and opened a bottle of wine.
“Wait for me” your cousin says, running up after you both. You and Sam gave each other looks before shrugging and carrying on upstairs.
When in the room, it was awkward and quiet. The only one still attempting to start conversation is your cousin, trying her hardest to get Sam.
Sam stood up, your cousin following his footsteps, “[Y/N] and I are going to get something, we’ll be back in a second.”
“Oh, let me help you” your cousin says.
“No, it’s ok. [Y/N] and I have got it” he says, giving you a look.
“Seriously, let me help you, please” she insists.
“It’s fine, we’ll be back in a second” he says, smiling at you as he grabbed your hand and made it out to the hall.
“What are you doing?” you laugh.
“I need to talk to you” he says, taking you to the main bedroom’s balcony. He closes the sliding door behind him and leans against the railing and takes in a deep breath.
“What do you need to talk to me about?” you ask, being the first to say something in the last two minutes.
He smiles, stepping close to you. “I’m not quite sure where to start but I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time, I just never got the balls to…” he starts, “Ever since we were little kids, people would ask me who I wanted to marry and if I had a girlfriend. Obviously, I didn’t really know what that meant so as the answers, I said you, because you were my best friend and I thought it would be cool to marry my best friend. Usually, the view on who you wish to marry will change as you grow up but mine never did. I remember when I was six and your smile brightened my day up after school, when the bullies took my juice box. I remember when I was eight at the spelling bee and how seeing you cheer me on in the crowd made me feel like a superhero. When I was nine, I remember my neighbor Rick calling you rude names and how you cried. I hated that and I remember getting a bruise on my knee from him pushing me when I confronted him. But it made you feel better so that’s ok. I remember when I was eleven and I broke my arm and you were there waiting with me in the emergency room because your mum told you and you panicked and demanded her take you to me. I remember seeing you for the first time at school when I was fourteen and I loved how the sun shone on your hair and the smile you wore while laughing with your friends. At that moment, I knew I had to be cool because we were in high school now and that’s where everyone got girlfriends and boyfriends and it was my mission to make you my girlfriend. So I tried and tried and tried but it only made you hate me. Things started slipping out of my mouth that I don’t mean and I was annoying you. You began to ignore me and it tore my heart apart. Everything I said, everything I had done wrong, I don’t mean it. All I ever wanted was for you to like me and think I was cool but I failed, miserably. You think I’m a dick, I think you look beautiful with your hair down. You think I’m annoying, I think your laugh is the most wonderful sound in the world. You hate me, I know that. But I guess what I’m trying to actually say is that I’ve loved you even before I knew what love meant. I’ve loved you since that first time someone asked me who I wanted to marry. Ask me now who I want to marry and a thousand times over and over I will say you. I love you and I’ve wanted to say that since forever.”
You feel a tear run down your cheek. Undeniably, some of the things he said, you felt the same about towards him. But your 'hatred’ for him had covered that. You hug him tight, your head resting on his chest, your tears staining his shirt. You feel a kiss on your forehead and you smile. You both stay like that for a while, enjoying the silence.
“So in a way, I guess I’m gonna ask you something and I honestly don’t know what you’re gonna say and if it’s a no, I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait and try my best to make it a yes. Can we restart? As friends? If tha-”
He was cut off by a plastic cup hitting the sliding door on the other side. It was your mums and a couple of your aunties drunk and apparently listening to the whole thing.
“ASK HER OUT FOR GOD SAKES!” your auntie shouts, making you blush.
“I DIDN’T RAISE YOU TO BE A COWARD, GO ON!” his mum adds. They all laugh for about half a minute before leaving the room and out of sight.
“Well, that was strange” you say.
He laughs, “yeah.” Another awkward silence fell, your fingers playing with the front of his shirt. “[Y/N], will you be my girlfriend?” he asks.
You look at him shocked before nodding, “yes” you smile, “yes Sammy, I would love to.” Sam leans down and kisses you, his hand on your hip, pulling you closer.
“I missed when you called me Sammy” he says.
“I missed when you used to be dorky” you say.
Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed that! :) Thank you to the anon that requested this and I’m really sorry if this wasn’t exactly what you meant.
This blog was created to write imagines and smuts about any celebrity/viner/youtuber that comes to mind, so feel free to leave suggestions and ideas in my ask!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope you all have a wonderful day/night! :)
Some days, you just need a cozy, fully relaxed day. Today is that day for me and I’ve stayed tucked away in the cabin while it rains away outside with my biggest sweater, my current read, and a cup of tea 🌧☕️📖.
I am LOVING The Hating Game by @sallythorneauthor omg 🙌🏻😍. Absolutely hilarious and the tension between Lucy and Josh is just 🔥🔥🔥.
Desperately wishing I didn’t have another Halloween party tonight so I could stay cozied up all night and read. So looking forward to tomorrow and unhindered reading all day 💃🏻.
Happy sweater weather Saturday 😊.
(at Pinecrest Lake - Whistler)